Cuevas 1

Sabrina Cuevas

Professor Batty

English 102

09 September 2018

Revision Reflection for ​LHD​ / ​M. Butterfly E

​ ssay

During the revision process for this essay, the first thing that I decided to change was my

thesis statement. In my old thesis statement, some of the finer points about ​The Left Hand of

Darkness​ that I tried to make weren’t really made clear enough. My old thesis statement read, “It

might be said that because ​M. Butterfly ​is a play and ​The Left Hand of Darkness ​is a novel, they

share no similarities. However, in my view, both texts subvert hierarchical binary oppositions

such as male and female, but differ in that ​M. Butterfly ​suggests gender roles are socially

constructed and therefore performative, as opposed to ​The Left Hand of Darkness​, which

suggests that there is no need for gender roles in a society.” The way that I worded this thesis

didn’t exactly state what it is I wanted to argue about in terms of gender and ​The Left Hand of

Darkness​, so I reworded it to better convey my thoughts about what ​The Left Hand of Darkness

is suggesting in terms of gender. My new thesis now reads, “ It might be said that because ​M.

Butterfly i​ s a play and ​The Left Hand of Darkness i​ s a novel, they share no similarities. However,

in my view, both texts subvert hierarchical binary oppositions such as male and female, but

differ in that ​M. Butterfly​ suggests gender roles are socially constructed and therefore

performative, as opposed to ​The Left Hand of Darkness​, which suggests that society would

benefit from eliminating gender since doing so would rid society of gender equality issues.”
 Cuevas 2

Because I modified my thesis statement, I went back to the supporting paragraphs in which

I discussed ​The Left Hand of Darkness a​ nd I made sure to change some of the topic sentences,

closing sentences, and supporting sentences to make sure that they connect back to what my new

thesis states.

In paragraph four of my essay, where I discuss ​The Left Hand of Darkness,​ I use a new

quote from the novel that I have not previously used in order to support my argument in the

revised version of the essay. The new quote that I used to support my thesis is found on page 100

of the novel and reads, “Burden and privilege are shared out pretty equally; everybody has the

same risk to run or choice to make.” Instead of using the same quote that I used in paragraph 2 of

my original graded draft, I chose a new one in order to have a variety of quotes from the novel to

support my argument.

In my revised third body paragraph, where I discuss ​M. Butterfly​, I chose to further explain

a quote from a scholarly article that I included in my original draft. The scholarly article that I

included in this paragraph is from Michelle Balaev, and the explanation that I added in regards to

her quote reads, “In other words, this quote is saying that Song is able to fool Gallimard through

her performance of gender, strengthening the argument that through his play, Hwang is

suggesting that gender is a construction of society, and thus performative.”

In the original draft of this essay, I did not thoroughly take into consideration the opposing

argument. So, in the revised essay, I decided to discuss the other possible argument that could be

made against my argument.

The final change that I made to my essay can be found in the conclusion paragraph. I made

sure to center my conclusion paragraph around my modified thesis statement. I summarized the
 Cuevas 3

very last sentence of my conclusion paragraph in a different way so that it connects back to my

new central thesis instead of the old one.