The Story of Annette;

A Soul in Hell
Introduction

What is related in these pages is of the greatest importance. Though the events in question took place
in Germany, what we give here is, as far as we are able, a faithful translation from the original
language. The "Nihil obstat" was granted by the Vicar of Rome, and the "Imprimatur" of the Pope's
Vicar for Rome guarantees the text free from doctrinal error. These frightening pages must sound a
warning for us, describing as they do a way of life which is very common in present-day society. The
Divine Mercy, in allowing these revelations, lifts for us a corner of the veil hiding that most awesome
of mysteries which awaits us all at the term of our days on earth.

We hope that many souls will hear and take heed

The Story

Claire and Annette were two girls working for a firm in southern Germany. They were not particularly
close friends, but simply observed normal everyday courtesies towards each other. However, working
as they did side by side each day, they naturally got around to exchanging views on life, etc. Claire
confessed openly that she was a Christian and she considered it her duty to instruct her colleague and
to call her charitably back into line when she treated matters of religion lightly or superficially. Thus
they spent some time together until Annette married and gave up her job to go and live elsewhere. It
was in 1937. In the autumn of the some year Claire was spending her holidays with beside Lake
Garda when, towards the middle of September, her mother wrote from home the sad news that
Annette had been killed in an automobile accident and had been buried the day before. Claire was
horrified by the news, knowing as she did how little her friend had cared about her religion. Had she
been ready to appear before God? What had been the state of her soul at the moment of her
unexpected death? The next morning Claire heard Mass, offered. her Holy Communion for her
unfortunate friend and prayed fervently for her soul. But that very night, ten minutes after midnight,
the following vision came to her.

"Claire," said Annette, "don't pray for me. I am dammed. I have come to tell you that and to speak to
you at length about it, but do not think I am doing it out of friendship. We who are here in this place,
we do not love anyone anymore. I am doing what I am doing because I am forced to. I am acting now
as 'a part of that power which always wills evil, yet does good.' To be honest, I would like you too to
be cast into this place where I am to spend eternity. Do not be surprised that I should say that. Here we
all think that way, our wilt is irrevocably directed towards evil, at least what you call evil. Even if we
do happen to do something good as I am doing now by letting you know what goes on in hell, we
never do it with a good intention."

Annette continues: "Do you remember when we met four years ago in southern Germany? You were
twenty-three, and you had already been there six months when I arrived. As I was a newcomer you
sometimes got me out of scrapes, and you put me in touch with good people, whatever 'good' may
mean. I used to praise you for your love of you neighbour. How ridiculous! Your good turns were just
a matter of pure form, in fact I was already beginning to suspect as much. Here we know of no
goodness in anybody.

You already know something about my early life so now I will tell you the rest. If my parents had had
their way, I should never have been born. They felt birth was somehow shameful. My two sisters were
already fourteen and fifteen when I appeared on the scene. Oh if only I never had been born! Why
can't I just stop existing now and get away from these torments? No pleasure could compare with that
of being able to reduce my being to dust, like a layer of ash that the wind blows away! But I have to
go on existing, I have to exist like this, the I made myself, an existence I wrecked!

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My father and mother were still young when they left the country to go and live in the town, but both
of them had already stopped going to church, and a good thing too! They got friendly with other non-
church goers. They first met in a dance hall, and at the end of six months they had to get married.
They brought only just enough religion from the marriage ceremony to take my Mother to Sunday
Mass maybe once a year. She never really taught me to pray. The only things that interested her were
the day to day material tasks that had to be done, even though we did not have to worry about money.
Those words; 'pray' 'Mass' 'religious instruction' 'Church'; I find it unspeakably revolting to utter them.
I loath it all. I hate people who go to Church. In fact, for that matter I hate everybody and everything.

The fact is that everything is a source of pain for us. Everything we learned before opur death, every
memory of things we saw or knew is like a cruel flame. And in every one of these memories we see
the graces that were offered to us, the graces we spurned. Oh what agony! We don't eat, we don't
sleep, we cannot walk upright. We are spiritually in chains, we look with horror, with 'weeping and
gnashing of teeth' on the ruins of our lives. All that is left for us is hate and torment; Do you
understand? Here we drink in hate like water, even among ourselves. Above all we hate God, and I
will tell you why. The elect in heaven, cannot help loving Him because they see Him unveiled in all
His dazzling beauty. That gives them indescribable happiness. We know it and that knowledge drives
us into a fury. Here on earth, those who know God through creation and Revelation can love Him, but
they do not have to. The believer, and it makes me grind my teeth to have to say, the believer who in
his meditation contemplates Christ with His arms outstretched on the Cross will end up loving Him.
But the man to whom God comes like a hurricane, a Chastiser, a Righteous Avenger, the man whom
God has rejected as He did us, that man can only hate Him eternally with all the audacity of his ill-
will. Yes hate Him with all the strength of a freely made decision to be cut off from Him. We make
that decision with one dying breath. Even now we would not wish to change it, nor shall we ever wish
to do so.

Do you understand now why hell is eternal? It is because our obstinacy will go on forever. Because I
am forced to I must add that God is merciful, even to us. I say I am forced because, although I am in
control of what I tell you, I am still not allowed to lie as I should like to. I am telling you many things
against my will, and I have to hold back the flood of abuse I should like to spew forth. God was
merciful in not giving us time to do all the evil that our ill-will would have had us do. Had we done it,
it would have added to our faults and so to our punishment. In fact, God either caused us to die young,
as I did, or He brought in some other kind of extenuating circumstances. Even now He shows Himself
merciful towards us by not making us go any closer to Him than we are here in this far-off Place of
hell. That lessens our torment. Every step closer to God would cause me greater pain than you would
feel walking up close to a red hot brazier.

You were shocked once when we were out walking and I told you that a few days before first
Communion my father had said to me; "My dear Annette, do get a Pretty dress. All the rest is just a
farce." Because you were shocked I was almost ashamed. Now the whole thing seems laughable.

The only sensible thing about the whole business was that children where not admitted to Communion
before they were twelve. Well, by that age I was already crazy about worldly pleasures so I did not
worry at all about not taking religion seriously and I did not attach much importance to my First
Communion. It makes us furious when we see that nowadays many children of seven go to
Communion, and we do all we can to persuade people that at that age their powers of reason are not
yet sufficiently developed. They must have time to commit a few mortal sins. Then that white disc
won't do as much damage as it would if their soul were still living by the faith, hope, and charity ...
BAH! what a thought ... that they received at baptism. If you remember, I was already thinking along
those lines when I was on earth.

I have already mentioned my father. He often used to fight with my mother. I did not say much to you
about it because I was ashamed. How ridiculous, to be ashamed of something evil!! It is all the same
to us in this place.

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My parents no longer even slept in the same room. I was in with my mother, and my father had the
room next door, so that he could come in as late as he liked. He used to drink heavily, and he was
squandering all of our money on alcohol. My sisters both went out to work because they said they
needed the money, and my mother took a job to bring something in as well.

During the last year of his life, my father often used to beat my mother when she would not let him
have any money. On the other hand, he was always kind to me. One day, I told you about this, and
you were shocked at my capriciousness (come to that, was there anything about me that did not shock
you?); anyhow, one day my father bought me a pair of shoes, and I made him take them back at least
twice because the style and the heels were not up- to-date enough for me.

The night my father had the stroke that killed him something happened to me that I did not dare tell
you about for fear you would take it the wrong way. But now you have to know about it. It is
important because it was then that I was first attacked by the spirit that torments me now.

I was asleep in the bedroom with my mother. I could tell from her deep breathing that sha was sound
asleep. Suddenly I heard someone calling my name. A voice I did not know was saying; 'what will
happen if your father dies?'

Since he had been treating my mother so badly, I had stopped loving my father; in fact from that time
on I did not love anyone anymore. I was just fond of a few people who cared about me. Outright love,
a love that does not expect any reward, that only exists in soul that are in the state of grace, and mine
certainly was not.

I did not know who was asking me this strange question, so I just said, 'But he isn't going to die!'

There was silence for a while then I heard the same question again. Again I snapped back; 'He is not
going to die! There was silence. Then a third time the voice asked me; 'What will happen if your
father dies?' I began to think of how my father often came home drunk, shouting at my mother and
beating her. I remembered how he had humiliated us in front of our friends and neighbours. I got
angry and I blurted out; 'That will be just his hard luck!' After that there was silence.

In the morning when my mother wanted to go in and tidy up my father's room, she found the door
locked. Around midday they forced the door open and found my father's body lying half-dressed on
the bed. He must have had some sort of accident while he was going to fetch beer from the cellar, and
he had been in bad health for a long time.

You and Martha persuaded me to join the young people's association. I never hid the fact that I
considered the talks given by the organisers as pretty parochial sort of stuff, but I liked the games. As
you know I became one of the leaders straight away, which was typical of me. I liked the outings as
well. I even went as far as going to Confession and Communion occasionally, although I did not have
anything to confess. I did not consider thoughts and words were of any importance, and at the time I
was not sufficiently corrupted to go in for any really immoral actions.

You warned me once, 'Annette, if you do not pray more, you are headed for hell.' We;;, you were all
too right when you said I did not pray much, and when I did it was in a casual sort of way. You were
all too right. All of these now burning in Hell were people who did not pray or did not pray enough.
Prayer is the first step toward God, and it is always the decisive step, especially prayer to her who was
Christ's Mother, and whose name we never speak.

Countless souls are torn from the Devil's clutches by the spirit of prayer, souls that would otherwise
be bound to fall into his hands as a result of sin. To tell you all this is burning me up with anger; I am
only going on because I forced to.

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There is nothing easier in this world for a man than to pray, and it is precisely upon prayer that
everyone's salvation depends. That is the way God has arranged things. Little by little He gives to
everyone who perseveres in prayer so much light and strength that even the most hardened sinner can
pick himself up once and for all, even if he is sunk in sin up to his neck!

During the last years of my life, I no Longer prayed as I should have done, and so I deprived myself
of the grace without which no one can be saved. Where we are now we no longer receive any grace,
and even if it were offered we should scorn it. All the ups and downs of earthly life stop when you get
here. You on earth can pass from a state of sin to a state of grace, and then fall back into sin again,
often through weakness, sometimes through malice. But once you die all that comes to an end because
it is only the instability of earthly life that makes it possible. From the moment of our death our state
is final and unchangeable.

Already on earth, with the passing of the years these changes in the state of one's soul become rarer
and rarer. It is true that up to the moment of death one can always return to God or turn away from
Him.

But it does happen that the habits a man has followed during his lifetime all too often affect his
behavior at the point of death. Habit becomes second nature to him and he goes to his grave still
following it. That is what happened to me. For years I had been living far from God, and because of
that, when I heard the final call of grace, I turned away from Him. What was fatal for me was not that
I sinned a lot, but that when I had sinned I had not the will to pick myself up again.

Several times you told me to go and listen to sermons or to read spiritual books, and I usually said I
had not the time. And yet what you said increased the uncertainty I felt inside like nothing else.

I must admit that by the time I left the young peoples association I had already learned so much that I
could very well have changed my ways. I was ill at ease and unhappy with my way of life. But always
something stood between me and conversion. You never suspected what was going on. You thought it
would be so easy for me to come back to God.

One day you told me; "just make a good confession, Annette, and then everything will be alright." I
felt you were right, but the world, the flesh and the Devil already had too firm a hold on me.

At that time I would never have believed that the Devil was at work, but now I can assure you that he
has an enormous influence on people who are in the state I was in then. Only many prayers, from
myself and from others, together with sacrifices and sufferings would have been able to tear me from
his clutches, and even then it would have been a slow process. There may be few who are openly
possessed, but many are inwardly. The Devil cannot take away the free will of those who put
themselves in his power, but as a punishment for what you might call their calculated desertion, God
permits the Evil One to settle within them.

I even hate the Devil, though at the same time I like him because he is out to destroy you people. Yes,
I hate him, him and his hangers-on, those spirits that fell with him at the beginning of time. There are
millions of them prowling about the earth like swarms of gnats, and you do not even notice them. It is
not us, the damned souls, who tempt you. That job is only for the fallen angels. The truth is that each
time they bring a soul here it increases their torment, but, what limit is there to hate?

I was wandering far from God, yet He followed me. I opened the way for grace by natural acts of
charity which I performed quite often, simply because I was naturally inclined to do so. There were
times when God drew me towards a church, and then I felt a kind of homesickness. When my mother
was ill and I was looking after her at the same time as doing my job at the office, I was really making
a kind of self-sacrifice. Those were the times when God's calls were especially strong. Once when you
took me into a hospital chapel during the lunch break, something happened which led me to the brink

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of conversion I wept! But immediately the pleasures of the world flooded back into my mind and
overshadowed God's grace. The good seed was choked by the thorns.

They often said at the office that religion was just a matter of emotion, so I took that excuse to reject
that call of grace as I had all the others. You told me off one day because instead of making a proper
genuflection in church, I just did a half-hearted sort of bow. You thought I was just being lazy. You did
not even seem to suspect that I had already stopped believing in Christ's presence in the Sacrament, I
believe in it now, but only in a natural way, as you believe in a storm when you see the damage it
leaves behind.

Already I had just made up my own religion to suit myself. I agreed with the others at the office that
when you died your soul went into someone else so that it went on some kind of everlasting
pilgrimage. That solved the agonising question of the 'beyond', and you did not have to worry about it
any more. Why did not you remind me of the parable of Dives and Lazarus, where Christ amends the
one to Paradise straight after his death, and the other to Hell? Oh, sure, you wouldn't have got
anywhere with it, any more than with any of your other pious old maids' stories.

Bit by bit I made up my own God. A God who was properly dressed up to be called god and was
sufficiently remote for me not to have any dealings with him. He was a vague sort of god, to be made
use of when I needed him. A kind of pantheistic god if you like, the sort of abstract god who might
come in useful for poetry but who wouldn't have anything to do with my real world. This god had no
heaven to reward me with and no hell to punish me. My way of worshipping him was to leave him
alone. It is easy to believe what suits you. For years I got on very well with my religion and so I was
happy. Only one thing could have shattered my stubbornness; one lasting and deep sorrow. But it
didn't happen. Now do you understand the meaning of the saying, God punishes those He loves?

One Sunday in July the young people's group arranged an outing to somewhere. I would have quite
liked to go, but those old-hat talks, those old maids' ways of carrying on all put me off. Besides, for
some time I had been keeping a very different picture from that of the Madonna on the altar of my
heart. It was that good-looking Max in the shop next door. We had already cracked a joke together a
few times. Well, as it happens, that very Sunday he had invited me to go out with him. The girl he had
been going out with was ill in the hospital. He had realised I had my eyes on him, though I hadn't then
thought of marrying him. He was obviously well off, but he was too nice to all the girls, and up till
then I had only wanted a man who did not think of anyone but me. I did not just want to be his wife: I
wanted to be the only woman in his life. I was always attracted by well mannered men, and when we
were out together Max went out of his way to be nice; though you can imagine we did not talk about
the pious stuff you and your friends go in for!

The next day at the office you were telling me off because I had not gone with the rest of you on the
outing, and I told you what I had been doing that Sunday. The first thing you asked was; 'did you go to
Mass?' Idiot! How could I have gone to Mass seeing we had arranged to leave at 6:00 A.M.? And no
doubt you remember that I lost my patience and said: 'God doesn't make a fuss about these little
things like you and your priests do!'

But now I have to admit that despite His infinite goodness, God weighs things up much more exactly
than all your priests put together.

After that first outing with Max I only went back to the young people's association once more. That
was for the Christmas celebrations. There was still something that attracted me to ceremonies of that
kind, but at heart I was not one of you anymore.

Movies, dances, outings; it was one thing after the other all the time. Max and I sometimes had rows,
but I could always get him to make up. I had a lot of trouble with his other girlfriend, who went after
him like a mad thing as soon as she got out of the hospital. That was a bit of luck for me because my
'noble calm' which was quite the opposite of her behaviour, made a big impression on Max, and he

5
ended up opting for me. I had learned how to use words to turn him against her. On the surface I
would seem to be saying nice things, but inwardly I would be spitting venom. Feelings like that, and
that kind of behaviour are an excellent preparation for hell. They are diabolical in the strictest sense of
the word.

Why am I telling you this? It is to explain how I cut myself off once and for all from God. Oh, it was
not that at that stage Max and I had become very intimate in our relationship. I knew I would have
gone down in his estimation if I had let myself go all the way too soon, and that knowledge made me
hold back, but deep down I was ready to do anything if I thought it would further my aims, because I
was out to get Max at any cost. I would have given absolutely anything to have him.

In the meantime we were slowly learning to love each other. We both had valuable personal qualities
which we were learning to appreciate in each other. I was clever, capable, good company, and at least
in the last months before we married I was his only girlfriend.

My desertion of God consisted in this: that I made an idol of a human creature. That kind of thing can
only happen when you love someone of the opposite sex with a love which remains bound by earthly
considerations. It is this kind of unbalanced love that transfixes you, obsesses you and finally poisons
you. My worship of Max was really becoming a kind of religion for me. That was the time when, at
the office, I started saying everything bad I could think of about churches and priests and rosary-
jabbering and all that kind of tom-foolery.

You tried to defend it all, more or less subtly. You obviously did not realize that deep down I was not
so bothered with insulting those things as with finding something to bolster up my conscience and
find some justification for my desertion of God. Yes, the fact was that I had rebelled against God. You
did not understand. You thought I was still a Catholic, and I wanted people to think I was. I even went
as far as paying my tithes. I told myself; 'a bit of insurance could not do me any harm.'

Sometimes your reactions struck home, but they did not have any lasting effect on me. I had made up
my mind you were wrong. It was this strained relationship that made neither of us sorry to say
goodbye when I left to get married.

Before the wedding I went to Confession and Communion once more, as was required. My husband
thought the same way as I did about that. Why should we be made to go through those formalities?
Still we did go through with it like everyone else. You people would call communion like that
unworthy. Well, after that unworthy Communion, my conscience was a lot clearer. In any case, I never
went to Communion again.

By and large we were very happy in our married life. He agreed about everything, including the fact
that we did not want the responsibility of having children. At a stretch my husband might have wanted
to have just one, but, in the end I managed to get even that idea out of his mind.

I was far more concerned with clothes, fancy furniture, meeting friends, going out, taking trips in the
car and other pleasures. The year between my marriage and my sudden death, was a year of sheer
pleasure for me. Every Sunday we went out in the car, or else we went to visit my husband's parents,
who lived just as superficially as we did.

At heart of course I was not happy, even, though I put on a smiling face for the world. All the time
there was something gnawing away inside me. I should have liked to believe that death, which I
naturally thought was many years away, would be the end of everything.

Once when I was a child I heard a priest say in a sermon that God rewards us for every good work we
perform and that when. He cannot reward us in the life to come, He does it on earth. That is very true.
Out of the blue I inherited some money from my aunt Lotte, and at the same time my husband started
earning a very good salary, so I was able to fit out my new home very nicely. By this time the light of

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religion had become for me something very distant, a pale light, dim and flickering. The cafes in the
towns, and the inns we stayed at on our travels certainly did not point us to God. All the people who
went to those places lived like us, getting their pleasures from external things first and foremost
instead of living a primarily interior life. If we did sometimes visit churches when we were travelling
around on holidays we only did so for their artistic interest. There was a religious atmosphere
emanating from those buildings, especially the medieval ones, but I could neutralize it by making
some criticism which seemed to the point at the time. For instance, I would have a go at some lay-
brother for making a bit of a mess of showing us around, or for being sloppily dressed, or I would
think how scandalous it was that monks who pretended to be holy should sell liqueurs, or perhaps I
would think about the endless bell-ringing calling the people to services when all the Church was
interested in was making money. That is how I turned away God's grace each time it knocked at the
door of my soul.

I gave free rein to my bad temper, especially on the subject of certain medieval paintings of hell in
cemeteries and other places showing the devil roasting souls over glowing coals while his companions
dragged other victims with their tong tails. Oh Claire! People might make mistakes in the way they
depict hell, but they never exaggerate!

I always had my own ideas about the fires of hell. You remember we were discussing the question
once and I struck a match under your nose and said sarcastically; 'Does that smell like hell?' You put
the flame out quickly. Well, nobody puts it out here. I assure you that the fire the Bible talks about is
not just the torment of conscience. It is real fire. When He said; 'Depart from me ye accursed, into
everlasting fire,' He meant it literally, yes literally.

You will say to me; 'How can spirits be affected by material fire?' But on earth, doesn't your soul
suffer when you put your finger in the fire? The soul doesn't actually burn, but what agony your whole
being goes through. Likewise, we in this place are spiritually bound to the fire according to our nature
and our faculties. The soul is deprived of its natural freedom of action. We cannot think what we
should like, nor as we should like. Do not be shocked at what I am telling you. This state means
nothing to you, but I am being burned here without being consumed.

Our greatest torment is the certain knowledge that we shall never see God. How can that torment us so
much when we were so indifferent about it on earth? As long as a knife is left on the table it does not
worry you. You can see it is sharp, but you are not afraid of it. But just let it cut into your flesh and
you will be writhing in pain. It is now that we are actually feeling the loss of God, whereas before we
only thought about it. Not all souls suffer to the same degree. The more maliciously and
systematically a man has sinned, so much the more heavily will the loss of God weigh down upon
him. Catholics who are damned suffer more than members of other religions because usually they
have been offered and have refused more graces and more enlightenment. The man who had more
knowledge in his lifetime suffers more severely than the one who knew less. If one has sinned through
malice one suffers more cruelly than if it had been through weakness. But nobody suffers more than
he has deserved. Oh, if only that were not true! Then I should have a reason to hate.

You told me one day that it had been revealed to some saint that nobody goes to hell without knowing.
I laughed, but afterward I reassured myself by saying secretly; 'In that case, if the need arises, I can
always do an about-turn.' That is true. Before my sudden end, I did not know hell for what it is. No
human being knows it. But I was fully aware that it existed. I said to myself; 'if you die you will go
into the life beyond straight as an arrow aimed at God, and you will have to suffer the consequences.
But, as I have already told you, despite such a thought I did not change my ways. Force of habit
pushed me on and I let it take control of me. For the older one gets, the stronger the power of habit
becomes.

This is the way my death came about: A week ago, a week, that is, as you would reckon time, for from
the point of view of the pain I have suffered I could well say I have been burning in hell for ten years
already. However, a week ago, last Sunday, my husband and I went out for what was to be our last

7
drive. It was a beautiful morning, and I was feeling on top of the world. A foreboding sense of
happiness came over me and stayed with me all day. On the way home my husband was blinded by
the lights of a car coming in the other direction, and our car went out of control. Automatically I
uttered the name 'Jesus', but it was just an exclamation, not a prayer. I felt a searing pain in every fibre
of my being, though it was nothing compared to what I am suffering now. Then I lost consciousness.

How strange it was that on that very morning a persistent thought had been nagging at me for no
apparent reason. A voice inside kept saying; 'You could go to Mass once more.' It was as though
someone were begging me. But I stifled the notion with a decisive 'No.' I said to myself; 'you have got
to have done with that nonsense once and for all.' Now I have to suffer the consequences of my
resolution.

You already know what happened after my death, what became of my husband and my mother, and of
my body, and the details of the funeral. I know all about it with the natural knowledge we are allowed
here. In fact we know everything that happens on earth, but only in a dim and confused manner. It is
like that, that I see the place where you are staying now.

At the moment of my death, I found myself in a misty world, but then suddenly I emerged into an
overwhelming, blinding light. I was still at the place where my body was lying. It was like being in a
theatre. The lights go out all of a sudden, the curtain goes up with a terrific noise and you find
yourself faced with an unexpected scene. For me that scene was lit up with a horrible light: what I was
seeing was the scene of my whole life. My soul was shown to me as if I were seeing it in a mirror,
with all the graces I had rejected from my youth up until my final 'no' to God's call. I saw myself like
a murderer on trial being confronted in court with his victim's dead body! Would I repent? Never! Was
I ashamed? Not that either! Of course, I could no longer bear to feel upon me the eyes of the God I
had finally rejected. All that was left for me was to flee from His Presence. Just as Cain fled from the
body of Abel, all my soul could do was to flee from that vision of horrors. And that was my particular
judgement. The invisible judge pronounced sentence: 'Depart from Me!" And then my soul,
smothered in sulphur, hurled itself like a shadow into everlasting torment.