Lindsey Juniper’s Peer Review of “Mental Health and Exercise”

Rhetorical Awareness

1. To what extent does this bibliography attend to its purpose and its audience's needs? For example, is it
written at a general reader’s (LA or NY Times) level? Does it define more specialized terms and ideas? Is it
clear that its purpose is to persuade the reader that these sources are appropriate for their review?

The author's bibliography is written at a general reader’s level. Their writing level is similar to something you
would read in LA or NY times. Their opinion is clear; that fitness and exercise are logical forms of treatment
of mental health because they have been proven to reduce stress. I would recommend rewording the thesis
statement because it is a bit confusing. Maybe try “Although the advancements of medical technology have
resulted in the development of new forms of mental health treatment, fitness and exercise treatments
should be…..”. Also I would reword the phrase “alleviate the well-being of patients” into “improve overall
well-being of patients”.

Ethical Research

2. To what extent does this bibliography consistently and correctly use quotation marks and MLA- or APA-
in-text (parenthetical) and end-of-text (reference list) citations for all sources, whether quoted directly or
paraphrased? Are the bibliography’s sources diverse (say, from journals, videos, and newspapers), relevant
and timely? Does it avoid relying too much on a single source?

The annotated bibliography contains multiple sources which should provide important evidence to support
the author’s claim that fitness and exercise are effective treatments for individuals struggling with mental
health issues. The introduction contains an in text quotation which appears to be cited correctly. I would
recommend including another quotation in the introduction about recent medical advancements for mental
health treatments.

Support/Evidence

3. To what degree are the annotations concise and clear? Do the annotations support the working title and
thesis? Are the sources shown to be relevant, timely, balanced, and authoritative?

All included annotations are clear and concise. All annotations meet the word limit. However, the third
source’s summary (“Mediational Pathways of Meditation and Exercise on Mental Health and Perceived
Stress: A Randomized Controlled Trial”) is a bit contradictory. The author states “the effects of exercise and
mindfulness increases overall mental health and have proven to elevate depression, anxiety, and other
mental disorders”.
Organization

4. How organized is the bibliography? For instance, does it use clear, specific organizational devices (like a
working title and thesis, summary sentences, and headings) that tie ideas, topics, and viewpoints together
logically and seamlessly? Do the annotations flow logically and seamlessly with their summaries?

The annotated bibliography is organized and easy for the reader to follow. The author includes a working
title and thesis. All sections and citations are listed in bold print which makes it easy as the reader to
separate each source. The sources listed seem relevant to the author’s topic and should effectively support
their opinion.

Language

5. Is the language effective, concise, and varied? Does the language respect the diversity of the LA or NY
Times readers (e.g., not using bigoted or biased language)?

The writer’s language would fit well in LA or NY Times. It is not biased or bigoted. The language is concise
and effective. They effectively explain their opinion on the importance of exercise and fitness as mental
health treatments.

Design

6. To what extent does the bibliography’s design conform to the design required by the prompt (e.g., the
sequence of information, the word limits)? Does the appearance make it easy or difficult to read this
document? Why?

The writer follows the design required by our prompt. They included a working title, their research question,
their thesis statement, followed by their introduction. The format of their annotated bibliography is easy to
read. I would suggest adding MLA/APA following the title so it is clear what format was used.