MYTHS

OF BEING
HUMAN
Facilitator Guide
Why start a discussion group?

Founding a Myths discussion group builds community, helping you and others follow the four paths
of mindfulness, gratitude, growth, and connection.

A group process can both hold each person accountable to staying the course, while also facilitating
new insights through discussion. It creates common humanity and connection amongst group mem-
bers and beyond.

What are the guiding principles of a discussion group?

There are five discussion group guiding principals:

1. Equality
2. Trust
3. Safety
4. Openness
5. Courage

Equality means that each person has an equal opportunity to share, and that all voices are repre
sented in the conversation. If you are an extrovert, allow others to speak first. If you are an introvert,
be mindful to speak up. Invite others into the conversation, while also providing the option to pass.
Be comfortable with silence; it provides time to think and process.

Trust assumes positive intentions and common goals for all members of the group. Everyone wants
to do right by everyone else, and all group members have the common goal of helping one another
grow in their understanding of, and experience with, the four paths. Trust also assumes confidentiali-
ty. Personal information shared in the group stays in the group.

Safety means that while everyone is encouraged to take healthy risks, every person’s “risk” looks
different. Each person gets to decide what to share and when without coercion. Offering options for
participation is the best practice. For example, someone might talk about how a situation made him
or her feel, without naming the situation.

Openness requires every group member to listen, seeking to understand and empathize. Each
individual in the community is open to changing and expanding their perceptions, challenging their
beliefs, and trying and learning something new.

Courage is the willingness to stay with uncomfortable emotions for the sake of growth. Each group
member will value their own vulnerability and the vulnerability of others, understanding that it is in
this space that both common humanity and authenticity can be cultivated.
What’s the format for a discussion group process?

A group size of 4–10 is ideal for a discussion group. Keep in mind, however, that the larger the
group, the longer the meetings will last.

The suggested format would be to meet once every other week for 1.5 to 2 hours (1.5 hours for 4–6
people, 2 hours for 7–10 people). Here is a suggested schedule for meetings:

MEETING 1

In preparation, all group participants will read the Introduction.

MEETING 2

In preparation, all group participants will read “Path 1: Mindfulness” and complete the practices.

MEETING 3

In preparation, all group participants will read “Path 2: Gratitude” and complete the practices.

MEETING 4

In preparation all group participants will read “Path 3: Growth” and complete the practices

MEETING 5:

In preparation, all group participants will read “Path 4: Connection” and complete the practices.

MEETING 6:

In preparation, all group participants will read the Conclusion and complete the activities.

What does a discussion group meeting look like?

The person wishing to start the group should facilitate the introductory session. However, after that,
facilitation should rotate to someone new each time. If you have fewer than 6 people, some folks will
facilitate more than once. If you have more than 6 people, not everyone will get a chance to facilitate.
However many people are in your group, the person facilitating the session should change from week
to week.

The first session will be to review expectations, create a calendar, and set personal intentions. The
group can use the following agenda to guide meetings thereafter:

1. Review discussion group guiding principles: Each meeting should begin by reviewing
the guiding principles that everyone has agreed to follow: equality, trust, safety, openness, and
courage. These can be read aloud by the leader or someone else in the group, or each person
can read a section.

2. Practice: After reviewing the guidelines, everyone will engage in a practice together chosen
by the facilitator. This can be a few minutes of breath-focused practice each time to start the
group, or different practices from the book can be used each time. Options include: sharing
a Beautiful Moment from the day, doing a Loving-Kindness practice, or Finding Guidance
Within using a poem or image. Someone in the group guide these, or you can use a video
from www.brandilust.com on the “Videos” page.

3. Check-in: The third step of the meeting is the check-in. This is a time for each person to
share without interruption or comment from other group members. Each person will have
2–4 minutes to say aloud his or her responses to the following questions, and the facilitator
will act as a timekeeper.

What has been fulfilling for you about ____________ (path or section)?
What’s been challenging for you about ____________ (path or section)?

Here is a second option for check-ins:

Where do you feel yourself resisting ____________ (path or section)?

Where do you feel yourself surrendering to ____________ (path or section)?

4. Discussion: After the check-in, the facilitator will ask a question to the group (discussion
questions are included in this kit). Additional questions can be posed by group members, and
participants can also bring their own question(s) to the session for discussion.

5. Reflection: The last five minutes of every meeting is a reflection on the process. Each person
will write down three words describing their experience, and then, without explanation, each
person will share their words to end the meeting. This can be done by sharing words one at a
time, or all three at once.
What is the role of the facilitator?

The person who facilitates for the session is responsible for the following:

• Reading or deciding who will read guiding principles

• Choosing a practice to start the session
• Keeping time during the check-in process (I suggest using a cell phone to set a 2 or 4 minute
timer for each person speaking.)
• Choosing one question to start the discussion
• Initiating closing when there are 5 minutes left of the meeting

Facilitators should not:

• Try to give advice or solve other group member’s problems

• Contribute more content to the discussion than other members
• Provide commentary or feedback on other’s contributions

Facilitators should:

• Be responsible for timekeeping during check in

• Remind group members of guiding principles as needed
• Hold the group accountable for adhering to the agenda

What resources are available?

The Facilitator Guide provides Session Overviews on the following pages that can be given to each
participant before or during the meetings. In addition, the “Videos” section of www.brandilust.com
provides practices that can be used in discussion group meetings.
 SESSION 1 OVERVIEW: INTRODUCTION AND INTENTIONS

Agenda:

1. Review discussion group guiding principles and the discussion group process
2. Set a calendar of meetings and decide who will lead each meeting
3. Do a check-in with each person using the questions below
4. Reflection (3 words)

Answer the following questions, using the same format as the check-in. Each person should get 5 minutes total to share
all of their responses.

Why are you here? In other words, what is your intention for being here?

What’s important for others in the group to know about you?

What do you hope to gain from this process, and how can group members help you gain what’s im-
portant to you?

What will be challenging for you in this process, and how can group members help you to overcome
your challenges?
 SESSION 2 OVERVIEW: PATH OF MINDFULNESS

Agenda:

1. Review discussion group guiding principles

2. Practice
3. Check-in
4. Discussion
5. Reflection

Discussion Questions:

Silence (or quiet) is one tool to cultivate a more mindful state. Where have you been able to cultivate
inner and outer quiet in your life? You may want to refer back to your Rejuvenation Map and share
ideas.

The path of mindfulness asks that we inquire into our own self-talk and evaluate its accuracy and
helpfulness. What have you noticed about the voice in your head? What are some of the common
stories you hear, and are they serving you?

One goal of mindfulness practice is to increase our ability to regulate emotions. Think of a time
when an emotion overwhelmed you to negative effect. This can be anger, sadness, frustration, em-
barrassment, or something else. What did this situation teach you about your own emotional patterns,
and how might mindfulness help you in these situations in the future?

Describe your formal mindfulness practice currently. What time of day and in what place do you
practice? What tools have helped you to establish a habit? What lifestyles changes have you made to
create time? Share strategies for maintaining consistency.

What personal shifts have you noticed because of your mindfulness journey? What has con-
tributed most to these shifts?
 SESSION 3 OVERVIEW: PATH OF GRATITUDE

Agenda:

1. Review discussion group guiding principles

2. Practice
3. Check-in
4. Discussion
5. Reflection

Discussion Questions:

The path of gratitude suggests that we reconnect with youthful feelings of joy and exuberance. De-
scribe a moment of pure childhood joy. What were the circumstances, and why were they so mean-
ingful? How could these same circumstances be cultivated in your adult life?

Gratitude requires that we never take things for granted. What are you appreciating more in your daily
life because of your gratitude practice?

Describe a Beautiful Moment you’ve had the pleasure of experiencing in the last week. Name every
sight, sound, smell, sensation, and emotion you can remember, and share it with your group.

Recognizing the pain of others, and being aware of our own good fortune in avoiding these circum-
stances, can help us to be more grateful. What currently breaks your heart, and how does it help you
to recognize the wealth you possess daily?

What personal shifts have you noticed because of your gratitude journey? What has contributed most
to these shifts?
 SESSION 4 OVERVIEW: PATH OF GROWTH

Agenda:

1. Review discussion group guiding principles

2. Practice
3. Check-in
4. Discussion
5. Reflection

Discussion Questions:

What difficulties in your own life have revealed personal gifts? You can share the situation if you’d
like, or just the gifts you have received from the difficulty.

The path of growth assumes that ambiguity and loss can contribute to a stronger sense of personal
integrity. At the same time, we often resist the negative feelings that these situations create. How have
you avoided the pain of ambiguity and loss in the past? What has happened when you faced these
emotions?

Forgiveness is often one part of growing from challenge. Think of a time when you needed to for-
give someone. What obstacles did you encounter? Were you able to cultivate forgiveness, and if so,
how did you do so? If not, what prevented you from forgiving?

Self-forgiveness, or self-acceptance, is another key element of growth. We all have faults and have
caused pain to those around us. Think of a time when you were able to practice self-forgiveness.
What contributed to your ability to heal?

What personal shifts have you noticed because of your growth journey? What has contributed most
to these shifts?
 SESSION 5 OVERVIEW: PATH OF CONNECTION

Agenda:

1. Review discussion group guiding principles

2. Practice
3. Check-in
4. Discussion
5. Reflection

Discussion Questions:

Having meaningful networks is a necessity for a healthy life. What is the current quality of your social
support network? How could you increase the health of your network?

The path of connection requires self-examination and reflection on the ways we prevent meaningful
relationships with others. What beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors have prevented you from creating
connection with those around you? What will you do to remove these obstacles in the future?

Listening is a key component of connection. Think of a time when you felt completely heard and
seen. What contributed to this state of being? Consider your state of mind, the environment, the
other person’s response to you, and anything else that might have contributed to your feelings. What
does this situation tell you about listening?

Think of a time when you felt invisible, ignored, or neglected when you reached out to someone else.
What contributed to this state of being? Consider your state of mind, the environment, the person’s
response to you, and anything else that might have contributed to your feelings. What does this situa-
tion tell you about listening?

What personal shifts have you noticed because of your connection journey? What has contributed
most to these shifts?
 SESSION 6 OVERVIEW: CONCLUSION

Agenda:

1. Review discussion group guiding principles

2. Practice
3. Check-in
4. Discussion
5. Reflection

Discussion Questions:

Annie Dillard states, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” Having spent
time on each of the four paths, how do you want your days to look differently now?

Values can help us to know what matters most. What values have you realized are most important to
you, and why? What will you do with this knowledge?

The conclusion helps to create a plan for sustainable action. What commitments have you made in
regard to continuing your own practice? What challenges do you foresee, and how will you address
them?

Intuition can be a meaningful tool on the journey to fully embracing the four paths. Think of a time
when you knew something clearly through intuition. What does your intuition look like, sound like,
feel like to you? How can you pay more attention to it in the future?

What personal shifts have you noticed because of your Myths journey? What has contributed most to
these shifts?