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ANGER CONTROL IN ISLAM

Written by Farid Ahmed


Table of Contents
Meaning of some Abbreviations: ........................................................................................................... 2
Part One: Anger; some facts ................................................................................................................. 3
What is anger? ................................................................................................................................................. 3
How do we know we are angry? ..................................................................................................................... 3
What is the likely result of anger? ................................................................................................................... 3
Who loves an angry person? ........................................................................................................................... 4
How anger spoils our Faith [Imaan]?............................................................................................................... 4
What is Islamic teaching on anger? ................................................................................................................. 6
Part Two: Some basics about anger control .......................................................................................... 6
What is anger control? .................................................................................................................................... 6
Do I need to control my anger? ....................................................................................................................... 7
How can we control our anger? ...................................................................................................................... 9
Part Three: Anger, Satan and negative traits ...................................................................................... 11
Satan pushes anger button in human ........................................................................................................... 11
Satan was a victim of his own anger: ............................................................................................................ 12
How to drive Satan away when angry? ......................................................................................................... 13
Anger from negative traits; welcomes Satan ................................................................................................ 14
Control negative traits and control anger: .................................................................................................... 15
Satan can’t push anger button if we follow positive traits ........................................................................... 16
Part Four: Mind power in anger control ............................................................................................. 17
Mind power and anger control: .................................................................................................................... 18
Mind power: A real hero can control anger .................................................................................................. 18
Mind power: Anger control with wisdom: .................................................................................................... 19
Mind power: Anger control by diverting mind. ............................................................................................. 20
Mind power: Divine teaching about mind diversion. .................................................................................... 21
Mind power: Control your anger to control other’s anger. .......................................................................... 22
Mind power: Calculate the benefit of anger control..................................................................................... 23
Part Five: Using understanding in anger control ................................................................................ 24
Understanding: Better understanding, better anger control ........................................................................ 24
Understanding: own pain and other’s pain to control anger ........................................................................ 25
Understanding: Be aware of your own anger. ............................................................................................. 27
Understanding: Use your reasoning to control anger ................................................................................... 27
Part Six: Anger control in sickness ..................................................................................................... 30
Sickness and anger: ....................................................................................................................................... 30

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Sickness is blessing; why should we feel angry? ........................................................................................... 30
Medicine for anger in sickness ...................................................................................................................... 32
Is anger itself a sickness? ............................................................................................................................... 33
How homeopathy treats anger problem? ..................................................................................................... 33
Part Seven: Perfect example in anger control ..................................................................................... 35
Holy Prophet: A heart did not boil with anger .............................................................................................. 35
Holy Prophet: Example of non-angry, non-violent persona .......................................................................... 35
Holy Prophet: Anger with control ................................................................................................................. 37
Holy Prophet: Nature of his anger from above Hadis ................................................................................... 37
Part Eight: Islam calls for anger control ............................................................................................. 39
Anger control or anger elimination? ............................................................................................................. 39
Islam and anger control: The best recipe ...................................................................................................... 40

Meaning of some Abbreviations:

Allah (S.W.T) Subhanahu Wa Ta’aalaa He is the Perfect and the Very High
Muhammad (S.A.W) Sallallahu A’laihi Wassalam May Allah’s peace and mercy be upon him
(R.A) Radiallahu A’nhu May Allah be pleased with him
(R.A) Radiallahu A’nha May Allah be pleased with her
(Rah. A) Rahmatullahi A’laihi May Allah’s mercy be upon him
InshaAllah If Allah wills it

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Part One: Anger; some facts
What is anger?
Anger is a natural emotion every human experiences. It is a feeling of great displeasure or antagonism
as the result of some real or supposed grievance. Anger is a common term we use for strong
displeasure but there are various terms also used for different degrees of displeasures.
Such as:
 Rage: Fury implies intense, explosive, often destructive emotion.
 Wrath: Applies especially to anger that seeks vengeance or punishment.
 Resentment: Refers to anger generated by a sense of grievance.
 Indignation: Is righteous anger at something wrongful, unjust, or evil.
[The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language]

So anger can be felt in the range from mild form to full blown depending on our perception and the
reality.

How do we know we are angry?


Anger is a strong emotional feeling. We know when we have that strong feeling. Anger comes with
few symptoms, such as:
 When we feel the heat inside us
 When the spark of fire spreads all over our mind and body
 When that feeling makes our voice louder
 When that feeling makes our language hostile
 When that feeling makes our facial expression tougher
 It may make our body shake
 It may make us speechless
 When that feeling increases our heart rate or blood pressure
 When that strong feeling ceases our rational thinking
 When that feeling makes us think and act fast
 It may cause us to attack on others and so on.

If we experience symptoms like above, we know that we are angry. We know that we have to
avoid those symptoms to be able to control our anger.

What is the likely result of anger?


The results of all anger are not bad. It has some benefit as long as we use it according to the divine
guidance. We shall discuss the benefits of anger in this book in a later chapter. But in general, anger
in various degrees doesn’t bring benefit. It brings unpleasant results in the short term or long term.
Let me describe some of the likely bad results of uncontrolled or unguided anger:

 Regular episodes of anger make people ill and they suffer from various kinds of diseases. It
can also aggravate sickness. Anger may cause sleeplessness because the angry feeling goes
on and on in the angry person’s mind.

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 Anger may make us think in a hurry and say or do things that are very wrong and regret later.
Sometimes it follows with regret that can last for whole life. Sometimes we can fix the
problem and sometimes we can’t fix it at all.
 Anger burns good things like fire does. Anger burns the loving relationship, the friendship,
the respect and trust. It even burns the good deeds. With one bad snap, the hard work of
your whole life may be ruined.
 Anger doesn’t bring peace, harmony or happiness in a person and around the person. An
angry person is like a fire furnace boiling inside with no peace; it radiates the heat to those
around him causing them to be unhappy as well.
 With anger we may suppress others but we can’t win their hearts. Rather it hurts other’s
feelings and pushes them away from us.

Who loves an angry person?


I don’t know anyone who says that he or she loves an angry, bitter person. Usually no one wants to
hang around a peevish person. Some examples are like:

An angry husband: An angry husband is a nightmare for a wife. He may provide food, expensive
diamonds, beautiful clothes etc but if he is like an angry dragon throwing fire at his wife, will she like
her husband? Do you think she will be a happy wife? Do you think she will feel secure with him? Do
you think that she won’t pass sleepless nights anticipating for something bad to happen from her
angry husband?
An angry father: Children are terrified from an angry father. They may love their father but they
might hate him too. The same goes with an angry mother. If she beats her children often out of anger,
then children don’t feel loved. They feel scared and abused. Some children hold hatred and aversion
towards their angry parents for their entire life.
An angry boss: That boss may pay lavishly but snaps all the time. If the boss is lovely, jubilant in one
minute but angry and abusive in next minute, would you prefer to work for that boss? I don’t think
so. What do you think?
An angry friend: Even when children play with one another, they observe each other’s temper. If
one shows temper then other children don’t want to play with that child any more. Friendship melts
like ice if there is an anger problem.
An angry ruler: An angry ruler ruins everything during his/her term. Even loyal people get fed up
with the angry ruler and one day they withdraw their support. Many empires have suffered loss just
because of the angry, hot headed rulers ruled them.

In opposition to an angry person, what about a cool, calm and pleasant person? Do you like a pleasant
person? Off course you do. Then don’t you want to be liked by others? I know you want that too. So
what is the secret to be liked by others? The answer is “Don’t be an angry person.”

How anger spoils our Faith [Imaan]?


Anger without control causes physical, emotional and mental harm. We discussed that above. Here,
we are taking the harm of anger one step further and that is spiritual harm from anger. Anger spoils
our spiritual gains as well. How do we know that? Let us find it from divine knowledge, from a Hadis
below:

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Hazrat Bahj Ibn Hakeem (Rah.A) narrated through his father that, Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said:
Anger spoils the Imaan (Faith) as Sabeer (one kind of bitter fruit) spoils the (taste of) honey.”

How anger spoils the Imaan? What is Imaan anyway? Imaan is the belief and action (according to
belief). In Imaan we believe that Allah alone deserves our worship and we have to worship Him with
our mind, emotion, body, speech and actions etc. Imaan is also to believe that Muhammad (S.A.W)
is our spiritual teacher and we must follow his teaching if we want to worship Allah truly.

Now let us come back to the question; how does anger spoil our faith? Anger actually prevents us
from actions that Allah wants from us. As a result we lose rewards of our good deeds, and we lose
benefits in the short and long term. With that we put our everlasting happiness in paradise into risk
like Sabeer spoils the sweet taste of honey.

I think we need few examples about how anger spoils our faith. They are as follows:

Anger spoils our concentration in prayer: When we are angry we can’t concentrate on prayer very
well. The angry feeling goes on and on in our mind like a non-stop train. So we lose that focus in
prayer and we lose the reward as well. How much do we lose? We lose the success, because Allah
(S.W.T) made the condition for ultimate success for a believer is “Concentration in prayers.”

Allah says in Holy Quran: 23.1-2 Successful are those believers who concentrate in their prayers.
So anger spoils our everlasting success that we want dearly according to our Faith.

Anger spoils our best speaking manner: We can’t speak nice when we are very angry, can we? Anger
usually makes our talk cynical, sarcastic and hostile. Angry talk brings disharmony, destroys
friendship, causes fight and takes away peace. Whereas part of our faith is that we must speak nicely
with others. It is Allah’s orders on us. What happens if we do not follow Allah’s orders? We may lose
our paradise unless Allah forgives us. Allah commands Muslims to talk nice, not to talk angrily with
others.

Allah says in Holy Quran: 17.53 And say to My servants that they (Only) say those words that are
best: Verily Satan brings disharmony between them

So anger spoils our obedience to Allah in the area of best speaking.

Anger spoils the spirit of Muslim unity: Maintaining Muslim unity is also another order from Allah
on Muslims. This unity erodes when we exercise anger instead of wisdom and patience among one
another. Does angry outbursts, sentimental dealings, or emotional impulsiveness bring any unity?
Not at all.

Allah says in Holy Quran: 49.10 The believers are a single brotherhood. So make reconciliation
(Offering peace and agreement) between your two brothers: and fear Allah, that you may
receive (His) mercy.

So anger spoils Muslim unity as well as it takes away Allah’s mercy.

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What is Islamic teaching on anger?
Islamic teaching is very simple. It calls for “anger control.” Islam also teaches the characteristics of
true believers and informs about the results of those righteous characters. Islam prepares its
followers to be best in terms of mind, emotion and physical actions to achieve the everlasting
happiness in Paradise.
Allah (S.W.T) calls the entire mankind to be part of ultimate success and He mentions “Anger control”
is one of the piece of that successful journey.

Allah says in Holy Quran: 3: 133-134 Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord, and for
a Garden whose width is that (of the whole) heavens and of the earth, prepared for the righteous
and those firm in their faith. Those who spend (freely in the cause of Allah), whether there is
plenty, or there is little; who controls anger and pardon (all) man: Verily Allah loves those who
do good.
Allah’s Holy Messenger also taught mankind to control anger.

Hazrat Abu Huraira (R.A) narrated that a person came to holy prophet (S.A.W) and asked, “O
messenger of Allah! Please advise me.” Holy messenger said to him: “Don’t be angry”. The man
asked for advice few times and holy prophet gave him the same advice “Don’t be angry”. [Sahih
Bhukhari]

So in brief, the Islamic teaching on anger is:


1. To control our anger
2. To not be an angry natured person
3. Be a calm, cool, pleasant and peaceful person
4. So that we can enjoy peace and happiness inside us and we can radiate that peace and
happiness towards others around us. The result of it would create a peaceful environment, a
loving relationship, a strong bond between family members, neighbors, friends and societies.
5. For frustration, dissatisfaction Islam teaches us to be forgiving, to let go and to move on
through the peaceful path etc.

Part Two: Some basics about anger control


What is anger control?
Our question is what is anger control? Anger control means guiding the anger properly. An example
will explain it better. Let’s say fire control. How do we control fire? Fire control is like anger control.
Let us go through a few points to understand what is fire control and anger control:

1. We do not abandon the fire because we need it for good uses. Similarly, we do not abandon
our anger because we need it for good uses.
2. We handle fire carefully to avoid any harm from it. Similarly, we need to be very careful with
our anger to make sure it doesn’t bring any harm to us.

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3. We learn how to use fire better. Parents will never allow a child to use fire without knowledge.
Parents make sure they teach their kids how to use fire properly. Similarly, we need to learn
about our own anger to handle it properly. And we should teach our children how to control
their anger.
4. We must be aware about the destructiveness of fire if it is not under control. It may burn
human, houses, furniture and so on. Similarly, we must be aware about the devastating
effects of anger if it is not under control.
5. For the control of fire we use some protective guards. For example, a stove has guards so fire
can’t come out. It is a safety procedure we always follow. Similarly, for anger control we need
guards in us. For example, patience is a guard. Patience makes us delay our actions from
anger. Other good moral qualities that act as guards like: Wisdom, knowledge, self evaluation
etc.
6. In case fire breaks out, we quickly pour water on it or we spray gas to put the fire out. Similarly,
for anger control we need effective staff to apply on it to calm the anger down. For example,
Islamic supplications, ablution, time out etc.
7. After one fire incident, we analyze the wrong to make sure it never happens again in future.
For anger control, we need to do the same analysis and take steps to avoid it in future.

What do we find from above points about anger control? We find; anger control is to guide our
anger in a way that removes harm from it and brings only benefit from it. Islam teaches us how
to use our emotions in a positive direction which will bring for us benefit in this world and in
the world hereafter. Allah (S.W.T) loves those who control their anger for their own good.

Al-Quran 3.134 “Who controls anger and pardon (all) man: Verily Allah loves those who do
good.”

Do I need to control my anger?


Most of us will ask this question. Why? The reason is that most of us think we have no anger problem
or we are cool. Some people will be angry if you advise them, “Listen brother! I think you should
control your anger.”
Why some feel angry if they are labeled as “Angry” person? The main reasons are (1) they feel being
known as “angry” is not a good image, (2) they do not see their own self very well and (3) they do not
take constructive criticism lightly and so on.
These feelings are barriers to anger control, one has to be open and willing to check up own
emotional plane, and then can find ways to control anger effectively.
Let me come back to the main question again, do I need to control my anger? How do I know I am
not handling my anger properly? People know me as a cool person; do I still need to control my
anger? We can ask many questions about it. Along with the answer, we need to be aware about how
differently we cope with our anger. We cope with our anger in many ways. Some of those are as
follows:
1. We bring our anger out violently: Sometimes we can’t hold our anger inside. It comes out in
a violent way. We may see our anger expression in various forms of violence such as:
 Feeling of anger frequently
 Feeling overwhelm with anger
 Feeling touchy and react to every little thing
 Quick to curse or scold due to anger

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 Beating the child or wife
 Getting into arguments often
 Children get into fights at school
 Throws things when angry
 Fight with others often
 Self harm like cut or mutilate himself/herself due to anger etc.

Now let us ask the same question again.


Do I need to control my anger if I show all symptoms or some symptoms above? The answer is
obvious, “Yes,” we do.
These anger symptoms affect us as well as others and bring lots of harms, damage peace, breaks
relationships, oppress weaker people, cost peace and happiness and wastes time and wealth.
2. We suppress our anger: Sometimes we feel very angry inside but we don’t bring it out. Inside
we feel that we should do all the above or some of the above like cursing, beating, fighting,
arguing or self mutilating and so on but we don’t do it for different reasons. This is called
suppression. People suppress their anger for many reasons. Such as:
 They fear the authority: A child may fear the punishment or a citizen may fear the
imprisonment or prosecution. In the work environment, a lot of employees feel angry
about the mistreatment they receive from their employers but they are scared of
expressing it because it might cost them their jobs. A Lot of people are in a helpless
situation where they feel wronged, yet they can’t open their mouths. People in these
situations suppress their anger because they are afraid of losing something.
 They fear their own anger: For some people, if they feel angry they become mad and
then they don’t know what they are doing. So they suppress it as much as they can. A
mother said in the consultation that she was beating and beating her child until she
got scared that she might kill her child. Since then she tries to suppress her anger from
the fear that she might do something wrong and will regret for the rest of her life.
 They follow some rules: They may be member of some social group where they learn
to suppress their anger. They are taught to maintain themselves to keep calm and
composed to promote the organization. Or a salesman in business has to keep smiling
for the sake of business even though he is feeling angry inside. He has to suppress his
anger because he can’t afford to lose his customer.

Let us ask once again, do I need to control my suppressed anger? One may think, “Why should
I? I am not harming anyone else, I am keeping it in myself, is not it a control?”
The answer is, suppressing anger is one part of control but not full control. Why? Let me give a
few examples:
 Fire under cover: What happens if we put the fire under cover? Fire is still burning
inside and because the fire can’t come outside; can we call it an effective fire control?
We can’t because (1) Maybe the fire can’t burn something outside but it is burning
something inside. Some people suppress their anger and then after a while they
develop high blood pressure, uterine cramp or urine infection and so on. Islamic anger
control is about controlling both suppressed anger and violent anger.
 Fire may pop out: Maybe not in all cases, but a lot of cases if there is suppressed
anger, it may explode if favorable situation arises. Often that kind of anger explosion
may bring severe damage. Sometimes people suppress and suppress and at some
stage can’t suppress it any more and commit something horrendous.

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Yes, we need to control our suppressed anger as well. When we talk about Islamic anger control,
we do not only talk about holding our anger inside. Rather we talk about the whole range of
radical changes in our mind, in our emotional feelings, in our attitudes, in our gestures, in our
beliefs and in our expressions and so on. It is a complete package based on the divine teachings
which changes our perception from non beneficial to beneficial, to see the whole world
differently and to react to the world differently. It is a complete self change according to Godly
instructions. We can see it from an example in Quranic verse, where Allah (S.W.T) has said about
anger control:

Al-Quran 3.134 “Who controls anger and pardon (all) man: Verily Allah loves those who do
good.”
Look at the verse once again:
 It doesn’t say, “Explode or Suppress”
 It relates anger control with other qualities like “Pardoning or Forgiveness”
 Pardon is letting go the feeling without punishing the other person
 Forgiveness is releasing the resentment against the person
 Both are a necessity [among many other factors] to control anger
 Both need mental and emotional changes to allow them to work when angry
 Both need mental and emotional changes according to Islamic codes
 Mind and emotion need good reasons or benefits to pardon or forgive when angry and so on.
One benefit here in this verse is that Allah loves those who pardon and forgive when angry.

That’s how Islam prepares the total mind and emotion for anger control. And when mind and
emotion do something the body just follows it. For example: A man can’t throw a punch without
instruction from his mind and emotion.

How can we control our anger?


This is the main question in this book. We are going to discuss various ways to control our anger
throughout the book InshaAllah. But here I would like to give few preliminary points about how can
we control our anger.
1. Identifying the reasons for anger: The first thing we must do is to identify the causes of anger
in us. It can be done simply by asking ourselves a question. The question is, “What makes me
angry?” Therefore every person is unique; the reasons for anger will be unique as well. It
means the same reasons may not make every person angry. Different people may feel angry
about different things, such as:
 Angry when contradicted
 Angry when things do not go in his way
 Angry when criticized
 Angry when being put down
 Angry when room is not clean
 Angry when work is not done
 Angry when traffic is slow
 Angry when children do not listen

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 Angry when students are naughty
 Angry when facing injustice
 Angry when facing corruption and so on
Once we know what makes us angry, then we can work on it. We can then analyze what
we need to adjust within ourselves to keep ourselves calm not angry. The reasoning is a
kick start for solution.
2. Self-change: We face situations every day that annoy us or make us angry. Can we change
these entire adverse situations? Or can we go to a perfect planet, to be away from
annoyance? The answer is no! We can’t change the world. Then what should we do? Well, we
can’t change the world but we can change ourselves. That’s what we need to do. We should
learn how to adjust and cope with the annoying adverse situations.
That’s what we have to do for our anger control. We have to change ourselves, our thinking
patterns, our attitudes, our outlook, our habits and our whole perception about the reality
and our manner. We have to be willing for self change for our anger control.
3. Self-change with right teaching: One can question which formula should I follow for my self
change? The answer is; self change has to be according to right teaching. That’s where Islamic
guidance plays the most effective role. It teaches us to change ourselves with righteousness.
Islam is a divine guidance, it is neutral, it is errorless and it considers all the factors about us,
and about our purpose of life and about our success and failure in both here and everlasting
life.
Islam wants to change us inside and outside to turn us into Allah’s ambassadors. Islam has
the complete formula for our balanced mental and emotional characteristics. And anger is
one of them. So our self change must be according to the teaching of Islam if we want to
control our anger in the most beneficial manner.
4. Self-correction: Islam empowers us to take control over our own anger. Islam provides all the
tips and teaches us to develop self respect in ourselves. Why? The main reason is Allah made
us as the most honorable being. Allah gave us our title “Ambassadors of Allah.”
Allah has given us all the tools like Holy Quran, His messenger to demonstrate for us, our will
power, our reasoning capacity, our wisdom to analyze and take correct decision according to
divine teachings etc. Allah gave us respect and wants us to respect ourselves. Self correction
to control anger is a respected way. No one needs to tell us off, or curve our anger. We should
be able to be the boss of our emotion and control our emotion according to divine guidance.
This is a simple fact that we must respect ourselves if we want respect from others. And how
can we respect ourselves? The self respect comes from self control. If we can control our
anger through our own inner correction tools then we can save ourselves from humiliation
and disgrace.

Why do we need to control our anger? We need to control it to save ourselves from
suffering, humiliation and loss. Allah (S.W.T) has given us all those tips in Islamic teachings
as guidance for our own inner peace. We can control our anger with that guidance as well
as we can control our good fate in both lives.

Allah says in Holy Quran 2.38 “And there will come to you guidance from Me; those who
follow My guidance, for them there shall be no fear, and they shall not suffer.”

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Part Three: Anger, Satan and negative traits

Satan pushes anger button in human


What is Satan’s job on this earth? How does Satan do his job? These are very important questions
we must know. Why? We must know the tactics of our enemy in order to (1) Save us from his harms
and (2) To take appropriate protection.
First of all let us be sure about what is Satan’s job in this earth. Satan’s job is to misguide humans
from the right path. Satan is working without rest to use every opportunity to deviate people from
the path of Paradise. Satan inspires people to make mistakes and be in the Hell Fire with him.
Allah (S.W.T) informs mankind “Satan’s Mission on this earth” for their safety.

Al Quran: 15.39 (Iblis) said: “O Lord! Because You have put me in the wrong, I will make (Wrong)
seem fair to them (The humans) on the Earth, and I will put them all in the wrong.”
Secondly, let us be sure about Satan’s tactics how it misguides people into the wrong things. In Holy
Quran and Hadis, there are many tactics mentioned as a warning for mankind. If humans follow these
tips they can surely be safe from satanic tricks. Here I shall refer to one of the satanic tactics in related
to anger.

Allama Ibn Kaseer (Rah.A) recorded a long hadis from Ibn Jarir [Rah.A] in his Quran Tafsir 15.39-
42 as following: [The Hadis is long, so I took the very relevant part] In the past, there used to be
Mosques outside the living area for Allah’s messengers. So that whenever those Messengers
needed to learn something from Allah, they could perform special Salaah in there and could
supplicate to Allah (S.W.T) for guidance.
Once a messenger of Allah was in a Mosque and Allah’s enemy Satan came in and sat between
Qibla and the messenger. Then holy messenger said 3 times, “I am seeking refuge to Allah from
the cursed Satan.” Then Satan said, “Tell me how you can be saved from me?” But Allah’s
messenger said, “You rather tell me, how you win over human being?” Holy messenger asked
Satan twice. Satan said, “I put pressure on anger and desires during the anger and lowly desires
of children of Adam.”

So we can see how Satan uses our anger to misguide us. When we feel angry Satan pushes that anger
button [Angry feeling] to make us angrier, then more heated, then into insanity, then to be out of
control and commit something horrendous, sinful, chaotic, destructive and so on. The result of that
angry action will be terrible loss mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually in both this life and next
everlasting life.
It is like your computer being controlled by somebody else; Satan takes control over our anger and
inspires us to be mad with anger. In other words when we are out of control with anger, we must
realize that Satan is sitting in the driving seat and we become his passenger. We follow the driver
Satan where ever he takes us to. Is it dangerous?
Yes! It is very dangerous. We must be aware of Satan’s connection with our anger. We must separate
Satan from our anger. Our anger must be free from satanic control.

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Holy Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said rightly: AL GADABU MINASH SHAITAAN “Anger is from
Satan.” [Abu Dawood]

Satan was a victim of his own anger:


If we go right back to the story of Adam and Satan in Holy Quran, we find Iblis was a victim of his own
“Out of control anger.” Iblis is the nick name of Satan. The brief story is like this:

Angel collected the clay according to the specification given by Allah (S.W.T). Then the clay was
prepared and mixed properly to make a clay doll. That clay doll was the original shape of the first man
Hazrat Adam. That clay doll was kept 40 days to allow it to dry properly. During that 40 day period,
Iblis often went to see the clay doll. Iblis could understand that Adam was going to be the most
honourable creation of all. That made him really ANGRY about the first man. He was so mad, out of
his anger that he used to kick the doll. Besides, he used to say about the clay doll, “If I become winner
over him then I certainly will destroy him.”

His mission against Adam and Adam’s children was an angry reaction. It was a reaction without
wisdom. It was a reaction with revengeful attitude and madness. He took vows to destroy Adam and
his children. His anger made him completely pessimistic and destructive.

Let us think a little more about Satan’s anger. Why was he cursed by Allah? In holy Quran he is called
“Shaitaanir razeem—Satan accursed.” Razeem is cursed or driven away from all the goodness. So he
lost all the positive qualities and gained all the negative qualities so he will deserve nothing but Allah’s
punishment. So what was the main reason? It was his madness out of anger. When he could not get
honour for his inflated ego, he became mad with anger and his madness made him rebel Allah,
refusing to apologise to Allah and choosing the path of evil and so on.

Yes! Anger played a big part in his actions. His anger pushed him to seek revenge. With anger he
prayed to Allah for respite so that he could misguide human. Allah mercifully gave him the chance to
explain, to repent, to correct his mistake but how would an angry person ask for correction! That’s
what happened to him. He did not take the path of correction; he took the path of destruction.

Dear friends! Satan’s story reminds us the terrible consequences of “out of control anger.” Satan
earned his curse from Allah for his reckless anger. Do we want that too? Not at all! Satan was lost in
his anger and he received Allah’s anger. If we do the same then we shall also receive Allah’s anger.

We can’t afford that. That’s why Allah mercifully taught us to seek Allah’s protection from Allah’s
wrath and anger.

Al-Quran1.6-7 “Guide us to the straight path; the path of those on whom You have bestowed
Your mercy, those whose (Share) is not anger, against whom You are angered.”

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How to drive Satan away when angry?
So we see, we are in constant battle against Satan. Why? It is because Satan is always looking for an
opportunity to poison us with his inspiration especially when we are angry. So what do we need to
do? We must disconnect ourselves from Satan during our anger. That’s what we have to do.

Then we face the second question about Satan? Who are those Satans that we must drive away from
us? Let us get the answer from divine knowledge again.

Imam Ahmed recorded a Hadis, narrated by Abu Jar (R.A) that Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: “O Abu
Jar! Seek shelter with Allah from Jinn and Human Satans.” I (Abu Jar) said, “O Messenger of
Allah! Is there Satan in Human too?” Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said, “Yes!”

How can we drive Jinn Satan away? The battle with Jinn Satan is a difficult one. The main reasons are
(A) We don’t see it, (B) We can’t use any ordinary weapon to fight against it and (C) Nothing can make
Jinn Satan friendly with us, it stays open enemy forever. So it is a difficult battle for us. But no worries!
Islam has taught us about the perfect weapon against Satan for us to win easily.

What is that weapon against Satan? The weapon is “Remembrance of Allah.” Or seeking refuge to
Allah drives Satan away. That is the only weapon we can use to win over Satan. It is easy, and does
not cost us anything. Let us look at the following evidences:

1. For driving away both Jinn and Human Satan: We need to seek refuge with Almighty Allah.
Satan is scared of Allah. If anyone surrenders to Allah, Allah takes care of him/her from satanic
whispers. Allah (S.W.T) kindly offers this remedy for mankind as stated in Holy Quran: 114

Al Quran:114 Say: I seek refuge with the Lord and Cherisher of Mankind, the king of Mankind,
the God of Mankind, from the mischief of the Whisperer, who withdraws (After his whisper),
who whispers into the hearts of Mankind, Among Jinn and among Men.

Almighty Allah offers His guarantee of protection in Holy Quran for people who takes shelter with
Him.

Al Quran: 7.200 “If a suggestion from Satan attacks your [mind], find [your] shelter with Allah;
Verily, Allah hears and knows [all things]”

2. For driving away Satan when we are angry: We also must seek refuge to Allah from the Satan
during our anger.

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Ibn Kaseer (Rah.A) recorded a Hadis in the commentary of the above verse (7.200) as following:
Two people were in the presence of Holy Prophet (S.A.W), one of them became angry and
his nose puffed up with anger. Then Prophet (S.A.W) said: “I know such a sentence, if he (The
angry person) recites it, his anger will disappear! The sentence is: AU’ JU BILLA HI MINASH
SHAI TAA NIRRAZEEM- “I am seeking refuse in Allah from the cursed Satan”.

So the easiest weapon to drive Satan away when we are angry is, we should recite the above sentence
3 times. InshaAllah that will drive Satan away and our anger will be free from satanic control.

Anger from negative traits; welcomes Satan


Just imagine! What happens if your plate is dirty? It welcomes bacteria. Similarly, our negative traits
welcome Satan to come on board with us. What does that mean? It means the choice is ours. If we
get angry due to our negative traits then we welcome Satan inside us. On the other hand, if we drive
Satan away from us and we use our positive traits then we do not allow Satan to come inside us.
Negative traits inside us are for testing us. If we do not guard them, if we do not control them, then
they will encourage us to take the satanic path. Our greed, jealousy, ego, haughtiness, pride,
extravagance, selfishness and so on are called negative traits. Why do these traits welcome Satan?
They welcome Satan because these traits and satanic traits have similarity. Remember I mentioned
before why Satan was cursed by Allah. He was cursed because he chose all the negative qualities for
himself. That’s why our negative traits have a strong connection with evil Satan.
Then we come to the next point about anger from negative traits. What is it? It is “Feeling angry when
our negative wishes are not met by others.” Remember! “Negative traits and anger” is like fuel and
fire, the combination is a recipe for disaster. Let me give few examples to explain this issue:

Anger from Haughtiness: Haughtiness or pride is a negative trait. It has no benefit of any kind. It is
like a fire that burns the person from inside. This pride demands respect from others even in their
wrongdoing. If the respect is not given for their wrongdoing, then the person feels angry. That’s what
I mean by “Anger from negative traits.”
Satan had the same problem. He became angry because Allah did not give him more respect over
Adam. Satan was haughty and he demanded respect for himself only. As a result his pride and anger
acted like a destructive bomb. Satan was kicked out of Paradise because of his negative trait
(Arrogance) and anger.

Holy Quran 7.13 - (Allah) Said: “Get yourself down of it (Paradise): It is not for you to be arrogant
here: Get out because you are of the disgraced and shameful.”

Anger from jealousy: Jealousy is a negative trait in humans. A jealous heart burns like fire when it
sees others are flourishing. Then that heart wants what others have or wants to destroy what others
have. A brother can be angry from jealousy when he finds everyone appreciates his sister. A husband
may feel jealous about his wife when everybody likes her for her lovely character. That can make him
angry and cruel towards his wife. So the combination of jealousy and anger can make the person a
cruel, heartless, hateful monster. So jealousy is a negative trait and anger from jealousy welcomes
Satan to join in.

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Jealousy is a disease and anger increases that disease into a serious destructive disease. It destroys
friendship, relationships, peace and stability among persons and society. It also burns the good deeds
as fire does and destroys the chance of entering into Paradise (According to Hadis). Allah (S.W.T)
prohibits us from Jealousy.

Al Quran 4.32: “And it is not wise to seek out those things in which Allah has bestowed His gifts
more freely on some of you than on others.”

Control negative traits and control anger:


The first point here is: We must control our negative traits. Why? We need to control them for our
own salvation. Worse than that is, Allah never loves negative traits. If we are not careful enough, we
will become victim of our own sinful desires, lusts, selfishness and we will be lost in sin. Most people
do not realise, we have a big Satan inside us and that is our bad desires, our negative instincts. So we
must make a conscious effort to keep an eye on our worst enemy inside us.

How can we get protection from our own devil side? We must do two things
1. Careful observation: Whether we are following the divine guidance or we are following our
bad desires. That observation should be as frequent as possible, especially if there is anything
from which we feel angry
2. Regular supplication: We must pray to Allah to protect us from our evil instincts. Holy
Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) used to seek Allah’s protection even at the beginning of any
sermon as following:

Wa Nau’ ju billahi min shoroori anfusina - “We seek refuge with Allah from our own harmful
instincts.”
The second point here is: We must separate our anger from our negative traits. How can we do that?
It is simple. We need to use God given wisdom every time we feel angry. We have to ask ourselves
one simple question every time we feel angry. The question is, “Why am I angry?”

If we ask this question honestly keeping Allah in our minds, then we surely will get the true answer,
and if we find that we are angry for our negative, selfish traits then we can follow divine teaching and
correct ourselves.
Anger control through self-evaluation is the most noble, most effective and most honourable
method. We all must practise this method.
Allah (S.W.T) calls His believers to self evaluate their own self for their lofty future, the everlasting
paradise.

Al Quran 59.18: “O you who believe! Fear Allah, and let every soul look to what it has put
forward for the future. Yes, fear Allah! Verily! Allah knows well (all) that you do.”

So the Islamic teaching is very effective. It teaches us the evil causes of anger and also teaches us to
separate our anger from our evil desires. That way, any wise, self-conscious and God fearing person

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can self-evaluate to find where the anger is coming from and can take self-remedy to control both
evil desires and anger. Islam offers this free yet extremely effective therapy for anger control.

Satan can’t push anger button if we follow positive traits


Can bacteria come on a clean plate? No! The reason is bacteria can’t grow in a clean plate. Bacteria
needs a dirty plate for its growth. Similarly, Satan can’t come into a person who remembers Allah,
follows Allah’s commands, fear Allah’s punishment and have a clean heart with full of positive traits.
In other words, the positive traits I mean are righteous or noble traits such as honesty, kindness,
piety, generosity, forgiveness, God fearing, truthfulness, compassion and so on.

Let me make another point here. Positive traits themselves are not enough to discourage Satan.
Positive traits have to be for Allah’s sake.
Often Satan spoils positive traits if that is not for Allah’s sake. For example, charity is a positive trait.
If charity is not for Allah’s sake then Satan comes in and encourages the donor to donate for the sake
of name and fame, and if name and fame is not achieved then Satan encourages the donor to feel
frustrated and then angry and then to stop the charity all together. You hear from many donors
saying with anger, “I gave so much and this is what I get in return?” You see, their motive was to get
something in return. That is a negative and selfish trait. Whereas Islam teaches, give charity for the
pleasure of Allah only, not for any other gain. If someone gives charity for Allah, then it becomes a
righteous deed within Allah’s rules. Once it is within Allah’s rules, Satan can’t come in to frustrate the
donor and can not make the donor angry either.

Without positive moral characters we can’t control anger within righteous boundary. For a healthy
anger we need a healthy heart with righteous traits. One can’t survive without the other. Anyone
who wishes to have healthy and positive anger must cultivate positive and righteous moral characters
in him for the sake of Allah. Then the whole job of anger control will becomes easy.
To understand this point, we should re visit the Quranic verse again and have a careful look at it.

Al Quran 3.133-134: Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Garden whose
width is that (of the whole) heavens and of the earth, prepared for those who fear Allah. Those
who spend (freely in the cause of Allah), whether there is plenty, or there is little; who controls
anger and pardon (all) man: Verily Allah loves those who do good.”

What do we see in the above verse? We see:


 Allah did not mention “Anger control” at the beginning
 The verse doesn’t only talk about “Anger control”
 Allah has mentioned few righteous positive traits before mentioning “Anger control”
 All the righteous traits must be for the Lord, Allah Almighty
 It makes sense that anger control needs righteous traits with it to make it work
 The verse shows Allah’s wisdom! Subhanallah!
Now we can briefly describe the righteous traits in this verse that helps anger control in human:

1. Hearts seek Allah’s forgiveness:


This is a righteous heart because it doesn’t care about selfish name or fame or worldly gain; it
cares most if Allah forgives him/her. Satan can not come into this heart. As a result, this heart is
safe from negative traits and also free from Satan therefore this heart is free from anger that

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derives from negative traits. This heart does not feel angry once it realizes that the anger was
derived from selfish negative thoughts. We can see, for anger control, how a righteous heart
plays a great role! Maybe that’s why Allah has mentioned about the righteous heart before
mentioning about anger control. Maybe a righteous heart is a precondition for anger control!
Allah knows best!
2. Hearts that seek paradise:
What kind of heart seeks Paradise? A heart that believes that Paradise is the safest destination
and that heart doesn’t want to destroy the chance of going into Paradise. That heart is peaceful
and looks for every peaceful way to deal with other people. That heart is craving to meet Allah
in Paradise. Satan can’t come into this heart and can’t push the anger button. Again we see, a
righteous heart for Allah’s sake is the pre condition of anger control.
3. God fearing heart:
Fear of Allah’s punishment is the best righteous of all. This is the biggest positive trait of all. This
heart is cautious all the time about negative, sinful motives or traits because it fears Allah’s
punishment. This fear of Allah is like a camera installed into this heart. If any little sinful thought
or motive intrudes the mind or heart, this camera captures it. Then the heart feels remorseful
for the wrong feeling and quickly repents to Allah. Satan can’t come into this heart as long the
camera is on. As a result, this heart can’t generate anger from negative traits. So the source of
anger is cleansed to control the anger effectively.
4. Unselfish Heart:
What kind of heart can donate in richness and in poorness? An unselfish heart off course! On
the other hand, a selfish heart gets angry easily. A generous heart donates to receive Allah’s
pleasure. That’s why it doesn’t hold grudges against receivers if even they betray. How can
Satan come into this heart to incite anger against betrayers? Only a generous, unselfish heart
can forgive others easily because it is used to giving away. This heart can control anger better
because it has huge practice how to give up things to please Allah. So for anger control we need
to prepare our hearts with the righteous traits that Allah has mentioned in this verse.
5. Anger control and forgiveness:
Finally, in this verse Allah has mentioned “Anger control and forgiveness” side by side. Why?
Maybe the one who can forgive easily can also control anger easily. A mind that does not dwell
with hatred or grudge can also let the anger go without difficulty. Here, Allah is teaching
mankind, to control anger to pardon others for His sake. If a heart is prepared to pardon others
to please Allah then yes! That heart can easily control its anger.
Surely, if a heart can control anger to please Allah then Allah also loves that heart, and if Allah
loves a heart, then that heart will have peace, success and paradise without any doubt. Let us
look at a beautiful hadis:

Hazrat Abdullah Ibn U’mar (R.A) narrates that Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said, “In the sight of Allah, no
swallowing is better than swallowing anger, which is done to please Allah only.” [Ahmed]

So, we see again, for anger control we need to implant righteous traits inside us for the sake of Allah.
If we can do that then anger control will be easier for us Insha Allah.

Part Four: Mind power in anger control

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Mind power and anger control:
Anger is an emotional trait. It is powerful enough to drive the person to commit wrong things or to
commit injustices on others. That’s why we need to control it. But what do we have inside us that
can control our emotion? It is the mind. Allah created the mind with more power to control our
desires (Emotions) with reasons. The mind does all the processing and collecting information then
analyzing that information to make the right decision. Then the mind uses the will power to impose
that decision on the desires.
Suppose if I feel angry and my desires say go after revenge. But my mind has to decide what is best
to do, revenge or forgiveness. My mind uses Islamic teaching to see which option is most profitable.
When it finds that forgiveness brings huge rewards from Allah then my mind instructs my emotion
to stop feeling for revenge. Then my emotion feels calm during anger. So mind is more powerful than
our emotion. And we should use our mind power to control our emotion including anger. It is the
best tool for anger control. If we do not use our mind, then we will be driven by our impulses and we
will go wrong.
Islam trains Muslims to increase that mind power over their emotions. Take an example about
FASTING in Islam. What is the purpose of fasting? One of the main purposes is to train Muslims how
to make their mind bosses over their emotions or physicality. In other words Fasting teaches our
mind to control our emotion like anger. Fasting teaches us self control. Holy Quran describes the
purpose of Fasting.

Al Quran 2.183: O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you: As it was prescribed to those
before you that you may (learn) self-control.”

Through fasting we deny our emotional demands like craving for intimacy between husband and
wife, our urge to fight-curse-abuse due to anger, our anger due to jealousy etc. Fasting empowers
our mind to instruct our emotion what is best to do and what should be avoided. The bottom line if
we want to control our anger then we must use our mind power.

Mind power: A real hero can control anger


Just imagine about a debate or a battlefield. You are facing your opponent. You want to win. Your
opposition will try everything to make you emotional, angry and to take hasty decisions. Why? It is a
tactic to make you feel out of control. Once you are out of control you won’t know what you are
doing. You will make mistakes and your mistake means you will be defeated by your opponent.

When one becomes too angry, he may start shaking, or say something wrong, or think irrationally, or
can not make a good point, or takes impulsive moves then how can he win? An angry person can’t
observe his opponent’s move properly and can not even defend himself well.

So just think again. You want to be a hero. To be a hero you have to win. And to win you have to
control your emotion. To control your emotion you have to use your mind. When you can use your
mind wisely and use your emotion for passion then my friend! You are likely a winner. As you win,
people will cheer for you. People will take you as a hero. Remember! A hero is not the one who is
most angry but the hero is the one who can control his anger with his mind to the victory. Do you
want to be a hero? If the answer is yes, then learn to use your mind power to control your emotion.
Precisely, that is the teaching of Islam. Let us look at a beautiful Hadis:

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Abu Huraira (R.A) narrated that Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: “That person is not really powerful
who can defeat his opponent. Actually the real HERO is that person, who can control
himself/herself during anger.” [Muatta]

Mind power: Anger control with wisdom:


The Islamic term for wisdom is “Hikmah”. So what is wisdom? Wisdom is the ability to use the divine
knowledge in a sensible manner. The ripened wisdom doesn’t come without divine knowledge
because men-earned knowledge is incomplete. Wisdom is a special gift from Allah to those who
earnestly learn, believe and practice the divine (Revealed from Allah) information.

In Islamic context what is the source of real wisdom? The answer is “Allah”. In Holy Quran Allah called
Himself “The All Wise.” 59.24: Al-Hakeem, (the All Wise). The next source of wisdom is Al-Quran.
Why? It is because Al-Quran is exactly Allah’s words. That’s why Allah gave the name of His holy
Quran “Book of wisdom,” 36.2 Wal Qur’anil Hakeem (By the Quran, full of Wisdom). Then who is the
teacher of wisdom among human? It is Allah’s messengers. Allah reveals in Al Quran: 62.4: “And to
teach them Divine Book and the Wisdom.”)

Wisdom is a great gift from Allah. With it we see the reasons, we see the future result, we balance
our acts most appropriate to the persons or situations and we offer our actions in a smooth way
without inciting, offending or burdening other persons and so on. Whoever receives wisdom from
Allah receives great benefits.

Holy Quran 2.269: “He grants wisdom to whom He pleases; and he to whom wisdom is granted,
receives abundant rewards.”

Now the question is how can we control our anger with wisdom? We know, wisdom is the ability to
use the divine knowledge to make a sensible decision. With wisdom we can decide what to do with
our anger. Wisdom enables us to see the result of our anger even before our angry actions. Wisdom
tells us whether is it worthy to be angry or not, or if it is worthy then how should we express our
anger etc. Let us use an example:
Suppose, my child made a mistake and I feel angry about it. I feel like beating him to give him a lesson.
So it is my feeling or desire or my impulse that I should beat him due to my anger. Now I keep my
feeling separate and I use my wisdom. My wisdom does 2 main things for me.

1. It gives me all possible forecast about what might happen if I beat him out of my anger. Such
as:
 He might run away from me
 He might end up with wrong friends who will give him wrong advices
 He might feel angry and rebellious and won’t take a lesson from my beating at all, rather
opposite may happen
 My angry beating may result only hatred and bitterness between me and him
 He might feel abandoned from me and may feel depressed
 He may get into drugs out of depression
 He may even think for suicide out of depression

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 I might end up in jail
 My family, my child and me---all may suffer etc.

2. Wisdom gives me divine information about what is the best course of action for me to take in
that situation. It is “Patience, restraint, control” about my anger. For example Allah gives
advice in holy Quran

Al Quran 31.17: “And be patient and constant with whatever happens to you, verily these are
of the firm commandments.”

To summarize the point, let us ask again; how does wisdom work in my anger control? The answer
is: my wisdom tells me the harms before my angry beating to my child which slows me down in angry
outburst and with it tells me about the best beneficial action to take according to the divine
teachings. Combining with these two my mind decides to drop my anger and deal with my son wisely.
May Allah grant all of us wisdom, Ameen!

Mind power: Anger control by diverting mind.


What is diverting mind? It means to shift the focus. What happens when we shift our focus? We lose
interest on the subject that we are angry about and that way we lose our anger as well. Let me give
you an example. Suppose a mother is angry and arguing with her husband. At this stage her mind is
focused on this angry issue and she is dealing with it through argument.
Moments later, she hears her baby screaming. She runs to her baby who just woke up from sleep
with a big scream. She calls her husband to come quickly and check with the baby why she screamed.
What happened to her? Well, her mind has shifted the focus from anger to childcare. Now her mind
is active with the welfare of her child. Her mind now instructing her body to release sympathy
hormones and stops the anger related hormones. She has shifted her focus and anger has gone.
The same way, we can shift our focus when we are angry or feeing rage. We should just remove
ourselves from that angry situation and engage ourselves with something else important. Our mind
has power to divert its focus without any accident.
Anger is like a fire. If we sit beside it, then it will make us hot as well. But if we remove ourselves from
the fire and sit beside cold snow, then we will feel the cold as well. So it is up to us where we should
put ourselves when we are angry. If we want to control our anger then obviously we have to divert
our mind from anger and shift it to something cooler, calmer and peaceful.

How can we divert our mind when we are angry? We can do it in so many ways. Here are some
suggestions below:
 Take time out: Stop right there. Full stop. Suppose, husband and wife began angry argument,
stop right there. You can’t solve problems with angry firing at one another. Especially
between the loved ones angry argument is a disaster because it hurts more. You have to stay
close to one another and the more you see one another the more it reminds you the hurt. So
stop angry conversation and do something else.
 Leave the place: Go to another room or leave the place when you are angry. Be extra careful
if you are angry with a loved one. Leave gently. If you leave with stormy anger then your
loved one may feel abandoned or may feel scared which will leave a scar in her heart. Then
it will make her angrier. Leave the room but do not go too far.
 Recite Quran: Quran recitation is soothing for your heart as well as soothing for the other
person because both are Muslims. If the other person is not a Muslim then recite Quran in

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your mind because a non believer may feel more irritated with Quran recitation. But if the
other person is Muslim then Satan will run away from that person also due to Quran
recitation. Besides, Quran recitation brings wisdom and Allah’s mercy and the result is anger
control.
 Change the subject: In discussions often we come to a point we don’t agree with each other
any more. Then it leads to attack and defense and causes more angry arguments. If we reach
that stage, the best thing is we change the subject in a civil manner. One should say, “Look!
We can’t agree in this. Let us talk about something else now. We can revisit this subject later.”
Changing the subject changes the defensive feeling and it changes the cause of anger all
together.
 Look at the ground: Why looking at the ground? The reason is to cool the emotion. The earth
is cool and calm. It doesn’t argue back or it doesn’t fire anger back to you. So when our eyes
are diverted from the offender to calm and cool earth, it gives us a calming effect as well to
defuse our anger.
 Wait: When we are angry, our mind works faster, thinks faster and makes quicker decisions.
If we allow our mind to continue with anger, we can’t control our anger then. We have to
divert our mind by “Waiting until we are not angry”. Just push the break, don’t accelerate
the anger any further. Wait and buy the time. Do not face the situation right now because
you are angry now. Wait! Waiting is like cutting the fuel supply to your anger. If you can wait,
soon your anger will die without fuel.
 Positive words: What if you are not angry but another person is angry with you? Your wife is
firing at you and how can you divert her mind to divert her anger? Yes! You can do something
to divert her mind. When she is angry, use nice and positive words to her. Such as:

“I love you more when you smile”, “Our love is stronger than this disagreement,” “We shall
discuss it when we are not angry” etc. We must make sure that we are not saying anything
inflammatory. When a loved one is angry, the best words are nice complimentary words. Satan
uses harsh words to make each other angry which leads to discord and fights. Allah (S.W.T)
advises in Holy Quran to use best words for peace and harmony

Al Quran 17.53: “And say to My servants that they should (Only) say those words that are
best: Verily, Satan brings in disagreements and disharmony between them: Surely, Satan is
to man an open enemy.”

Mind power: Divine teaching about mind diversion.


Islam teaches us about diverting mind to control our anger. If we look at couple of examples, we will
see the divine wisdom in the teaching of Holy Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W). .

1. It teaches us to take ablution when we are angry. Water is cooler and opposite to the anger.
The change from the fire to the cooler is a diversion and it helps anger control.

Hazrat A’tiyyah Ibn U’rwah Sa’di (R.A) said that holy prophet (S.A.W) said: “Anger is from Satan
and Satan is made of fire. The fire is taken out by water. So when someone of you is angry you
should do ablution.” [Abu Dawood]

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In divine action we do not receive only the material benefit but it brings spiritual benefit as well.
Ablution water and fire fighting waters are not same. Ablution is done to please Allah and it is done
as Allah taught us through His holy messenger. That’s why ablution water brings Allah’s mercy to cool
the anger quicker. 1000’s of water buckets can’t do what ablution water can do. We must keep that
in mind that Islamic practices brings Allah’s mercy, wisdom and all kinds of benefits that is beyond
human power.

2. Islam teaches us the benefit of changing position in anger control. Changing of position dis-
engages our mind from that issue or situation. The result of it is calmness from anger.

Hazrat Abu Zaar (R.A) narrates that Messenger of Allah (S.A.W) said: “When one of you are angry,
if he is standing then he should sit down. If anger goes away by that then it is fine but if still
angry then he should lie down.” [Ahmed, Tirmidi]

The above hadis’ is evidence about how important the mind diversion technique for anger control.
We should use it to be a cool person insha Allah!

Mind power: Control your anger to control other’s anger.


What about when you are calm but another person is angry with you? How can you calm the other
person? It is possible in many cases. So what do you have to do? Let us together go through few tips
below:
Control your anger at first: You can’t expect to control others anger if you can’t control yours
at first. Keep your mind cool. Observe the moves of other person. When you are calm despite
other person’s angry outburst, the other person will notice that. Without firing back the other
person can’t increase his anger power. It will slow down and will die soon if you don’t supply
the ammunition. Yes! It works. When some one is angry at you, you give him a smile instead
of angry response. You will diffuse or control his anger by your nice action.
Remove the fear of other person: So first of all you are calm, well done! You have already
begun controlling the other person’s anger. Now do the next wise thing. What is it? You just
listen to the person patiently. Try to understand why the other person is angry at you. Often
people become angry out of fear. For example: Your child is angry at you. You listened
carefully and found out that the child fears that you will not buy her a dress that she likes.
Now you can act precisely to control her anger because you know the reason. You just assure
her and remove her fear. Then she will melt into a loving mood from anger mood. See, how
we can control other’s anger by some wise steps!
Always offer the best manner to the angry person: Doesn’t matter how angry the other
person is at you, do not fear the person but fear Allah. And keep offering your nicest manner
to that angry person. One day, two days or months, you will have some control in the heart
of that angry person. The angry person will feel guilty because you are nice to his anger. Then
one day he will change his anger in to friendship. Suppose your neighbor gets angry with you
but you never respond to your neighbor with anger. Rather you smile, you share food, you
visit when they are sick then you will see gradually Insha Allah your neighbor’s heart is
changing.
Remember! We can change other people’s heart not with anger but with love and care. That’s
what we learn from Holy Quran

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Al Quran 41.33: “And good deeds and evil deeds cannot be equal. (So) give up (Evil) with what
is better: Then verily, he (The one) between whom and you was hatred, will become like your
friend and close companion!”

What do we learn here? We are not only responsible to control our own anger but we are also
responsible to control other’s anger as much as we can. We should try that every day with our loved
ones, with our children, with our relatives, with our neighbors, with our fellow human and workmates
and so on. Together with our own anger control we can make a better world around us. As a result
we can enjoy peace, love and happiness, Insha Allah!
May Allah give us ability to keep our anger under control so that we can influence other angry people
into calmness, Ameen!

Mind power: Calculate the benefit of anger control.


Which faculty in us is responsible to calculate loss of profit? It is our mind. We should use our mind
to calculate the gain and loss every time we feel angry. To do that let us keep things in the right
perspective, such as:
 Calculation on which basis? One may say, “Look! I am smart. I know which anger is right for
me.” Human mind have experienced lots of techniques and data about anger and have
designed many studies for anger management. So I understand, lot of people would use their
wisdom to calculate the risk and gain of their anger. If they see their anger is likely to bring
harm then they control it. It is good but definitely not the best.
 Which calculation is best: A best calculation is the calculation based on divine information
and data. Why? The answer is: The divine information gives us short term, long term and
everlasting data about loss or gain. What we know without divine information, we may think
it is for our best but it may not be the best for us in the long run.
 Calculation about ultimate gain or loss: Islamic anger control is about the ultimate
everlasting gain or loss. It gives a certainty for the loss or gain from the creator. As a result it
is the strongest calculation that gives strongest motivation to a mind. Islam trains our mind
to calculate the gain or loss about our anger based on the divine calculation. It motivates our
mind to see the clear road and to drive to the right direction to reach to our destination safely.
Our ultimate motto is to receive Allah’s forgiveness to be able to enter into everlasting
paradise. Islamic teachings educate our minds the real loss and gain in Allah’s court.

Islam teaches us the huge benefit of anger control in this life which is short term benefit. Also it
teaches the long term benefit in never ending life to come. It addresses the same way the loss of
anger in short term and long term basis. Let us look at a Hadis to understand that calculation:

Hazrat Anas (R.A) narrated that Messenger of Allah [Muhammad S.A.W] said: “Whoever controls
his/her anger, Allah will remove punishment away from him/her in the Day of Judgment.”
[Mishqat]

How does that calculation work? It is a simple. When we are angry with others we want to be hard
on them. But when we disobey Allah, do we expect Allah to be angry with us? Or do we expect Allah
to forgive us? This is a simple calculation formula from Islamic teaching. So the simple message is: If

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we want Allah to not be angry with us then we should not be angry with others. Similarly, if we want
Allah to be forgiving to us then we should also be forgiving to others.
If we use that simple calculation in our mind, then we will be lot calmer people, less angry people
and we can control our anger with the hope that Allah will also control His anger against us in the
Day of Judgment. May Allah grant us the ability to keep that simple calculation in our mind to control
our anger, Ameen!

Part Five: Using understanding in anger control

Understanding: Better understanding, better anger control


Sometimes we feel angry at one another from misunderstanding. The more we develop better
understanding the less misunderstanding we face. It results lesser angry exchanges. If we do not
improve our understanding about our feeling as well as other’s feelings then we can’t make a
peaceful existence. As a human we must learn human nature to be able to deal with each other
better. Simply if we can understand why another person is angry with us then we won’t feel angry.
Our understanding will tell us why we should be compassionate rather than angry. That’s why people
with understanding are wiser, calmer and less angry.

An understanding person is a risk for Satan. Why? It is because Satan can’t incite them to be angry.
These people wait and investigate properly to understand the situation well before they throw their
angry reaction to others and Satan doesn’t like that. We find this fact in a Hadis:

Hazrat Abdullah Ibn Abbas (R.A) said, Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: “A knowledgeable one (Faqih) is
more dangerous for Satan than thousands of worshippers.” [Tirmidi & Ibn maza]

Understanding is knowledge and knowledge is about understanding. When a person is keen to


understand, is bound to be more knowledgeable and wise. We all can try to deepen our
understanding everyday to be wiser and to be more in control. How does understanding come?

Understanding comes through active questioning. Yes! Self searching to learn more is a very good
technique to increase our understanding. Let me give an example of questioning for better
understanding and then how our understanding controls our anger. Suppose my wife is angry with
me. What do I have to do to understand her anger? I have to start questioning around her anger,
such as:
 Why is she angry? That should be the first question. I have to understand her reasons before
my response to her anger. Without understanding her reason, if I respond to her anger with
my anger, what will happen? It will be a war, a stupid war. Why stupid? Because any action
without proper understanding is stupid. Islam teaches us to be smart, not stupid.
 Is it my fault? This is a brave question. Only a sincere person can point to himself and say, “Is
she angry because its my fault?” Often people do not want to see their own mistakes. They
feel angry if any one contradicts their decision. But an understanding person would always
need to check his stand first by questioning “Am I fair? Am I causing the anger in another
person? Should I mend my manner?” This kind of self evaluation prevents people from getting
angry easily. Their understanding helps them to control their anger better.

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 Is she angry out of sickness? Often the person who loves me most feels disappointed with
me easily. I must understand that. She has rights on me as I have rights on her. Her anger
towards me could be a snappish reaction due to her monthly sickness or a headache she is
suffering from. I need to understand this kind of human pain. I need to understand that I also
feel angry from noise if I suffer from headache. When I use this understanding process and I
find her sick then what happen? Do I feel angry in return to her anger? No! I feel sympathy
for her. Instead of being angry I offer her my love, care and consolation. The result becomes
sweet between us. Besides, Allah (S.W.T) grants huge rewards for the loving treatment for
both me and my wife.

This is just an example how we can question around the anger to deepen our understanding.
Understanding solves the problems and solution makes us happy. Happiness takes away our anger.
Through understanding, we can be a better person everyday. We can deal with others wisely and we
can avoid anger easily.
Just imagine! If we practise this understanding with everybody in family, with friends, relatives and
with others! We will be cool people, not easily angry people. That’s what we want, don’t we?

Understanding: own pain and other’s pain to control anger


Often we feel angry due to our pain. It can be physical pain or emotional pain. Mostly emotional pain
makes us angry. For example: Someone cheated you or betrayed you or let you down. It makes you
feel pain and you feel angry either with yourself or with the betrayer.

Human understanding should begin from own pain. We should ask, “How do I feel when I suffer?
How do I feel when I am angry? What do I crave to relieve my anger? Do I crave for love, sympathy,
consolation or help when I am angry?

We feel sad sometimes, or we feel sick, or we feel lonely and helpless. What do we crave then? We
like to be offered help from others not their anger. This understanding we should apply in our day to
day life not to feel angry about things we do not like in others.
For example, naughty kids make us feel angry. But instead of feeling angry we should find out what
pain causes them to be naughty. We should try to put ourselves into their shoes and try to feel what
pain they are going through. That will make us sympathetic towards them rather than angry.

Young people are on drugs, alcohol and violent. We feel angry about them and want tougher laws
against them. Yes! As a leader you may feel angry about them and may like to punish them with
tougher law. But that doesn’t solve the problem. Your angry action makes them more rebellious, and
that increases more social problems. What you need to do is to understand their pain which is causing
them to be destructive. It may be they went through abuse, may be they did not receive love and so
on. Imagine your pain if you were in their shoes!

Some children feel angry when their sick and old parents ask for their help. Some children feel angry
towards their parents thinking that parents are a burden on them. Why do they feel angry? They feel
angry because they do not understand their past, their own childhood. If they really understand their
childhood, when they were fully dependant on their parents, that they were totally helpless, only
thing they could do was to cry for help from parents. If an adult truly understand how much they

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needed their parents help, not parent’s anger, then they will treat their parents with love as they
craved for love from their parents in their childhood.
Islam teaches us to use our understanding about our pain to understand other’s pain. That way we
can accommodate other’s needs into us without feeling angry. Just look at an example in Holy Quran

Al Quran 17.223-24: “Whether one or both of your parents reach old age in your life, do not say
words of (Hate and) disrespect to them, and do not brush them aside (With anger), instead, talk
to them with (respect and) honour. ----------------------and say “My Lord! Grant them Your mercy
as they brought me up (dearly) during my childhood.”

In this verse Allah (S.W.T) reminds children to understand their helpless childhood for understanding
the need of their parents. Once someone realises it then he/she will not feel angry towards parents
when parents need their service.

Again, people get angry often from ignorance and with anger they do lots of damage. For example,
pagans were angry with Holy Prophet (Peace be upon him) and tortured him and his companions. In
Taef city they threw stones on him and injured him so that he bleed and faint. Yet Holy Prophet was
sympathetic towards them. After Taef torture holy prophet prayed for their forgiveness in the count
of their ignorance (Lack of understanding): “O Allah! Forgive them because they do not know me.”

This is an example, despite being tortured, how understanding about others could antidote Holy
Prophet’s anger. He understood their wrong doings and that made him sympathetic towards them.
Holy messengers throughout the history had that understanding towards ignorant people. Despite
torture they never felt angry, or did seek revenge rather they invited other people to develop their
understanding about Islamic Faith. If they understood well, they would not have tortured Allah’s
messengers.

Everyday people annoy us, we feel angry. But instead of getting angry, if we try to understand why
those people are acting weirdly then we would feel sorry for them instead of angry. We all have to
act partially like doctors. For example: When an angry, abusive, and destructive child is brought to a
doctor by a parent, the doctor does not react to the angry patient with anger. Rather the doctor
investigates what is causing the child to be like that. Then the doctor finds with investigation that the
child is suffering from otitis media (middle ear infection). Then the doctor prescribes something to
remove the inflammation. When inflammation is gone the anger is also subsided. That is how we
should treat one another in the case of anger.

My point is, any other people who annoy us are like that sick child. His sickness made him weird.
Weird people have some kind of sickness whether physical, emotional, mental, moral or spiritual. If
we make effort to understand them, it will help us in following way:
1. We will not feel angry rather we will feel sympathetic towards them
2. It saves us from bad health because anger is not good for our health
3. We can deal with them calmly and wisely and will get better result
4. We can be thankful to Allah saying, “Thank you Allah! For not making us weird like others.”

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Understanding: Be aware of your own anger.
What do we learn from anger management course? Among many tips the most important one we
learn is “Self-Awareness.” What is self-Awareness? It is the understanding about our own anger. Such
as:
 What makes me angry?
 How my anger starts?
 At which point I begin losing control?
 What do I do when I feel angry? Quiet? Shouting? Cursing? Fight? Insane actions?
 What can I do to alter my sensitivity to curve my anger?
 What should I avoid to avoid anger?
 What should I do when I start losing control?
 What should I do short or long term basis to control my anger?
 Do I look pretty or ugly or scary when I am angry?
Make a list of many questions. Encourage your family members to do the same. Teach your
children to do the same. You will be surprised how much our own ugliness will come out through
this method. This way we can know better about our own monster inside us. When we
understand our own self better then we can work out how to control our own anger better.

Self awareness makes you like a driver who has done a defensive driving course. A defensive driver
knows exactly when to push the plate to control the car. Or he knows what kind of hazard to look for
to avoid an accident. Anger management is like that. It is a process of knowing own anger and taking
all the necessary steps to avoid the anger before it happens.
We need all the beneficial knowledge to be wise, to be righteous, and to have self control and so on.
May Allah grant us insight about our own self!

Holy prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) taught us to supplicate to Allah for such deep knowledge that
really benefits us:

ALLAAHUMMA INNEE ASALUKA I’LMAN NAAFI’A - “O Allah! I seek knowledge from you that is
really beneficial”

Being aware about our own anger we can understand why and when we feel angry as well as how to
control it.

Understanding: Use your reasoning to control anger


What is reasoning? It is the process of drawing conclusions from facts or evidence. It is a great tool
Allah (S.W.T) gifted mankind. With it we can see the pros and cons of our anger. With it we can
analyse the benefit or harm of our anger. Let me try to explain how we reason with couple of
examples:

Example one:
Suppose someone comes and tell me that you are plotting to occupy my land. What should I feel and
do now? Should I be angry and send some people to beat you up before you occupy my land? No! I
have to do the reasoning before any angry reaction. So I begin my reasoning like this:
 How true is the news?

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 Am I sure that he wants to occupy my land?
 What evidence do I have to be sure?
 Have I done investigation to become sure?
 So what is my duty here? To be angry or to do investigation first?
Our reasoning pushes us to seek divine guidance in situations like this. So what is Allah’s
command in the situation like this? Let us find the answer from the Holy Quran: 49.6

Al Quran 49.6: “O you who believe! If an ungodly person (fasiq) comes to you with any news,
(First), verify the truth, in case that you may harm people unwittingly, and afterword have
to be regretful for what you have done.”

With reasoning I also can calculate some of the bad consequences if I take angry action wrongly.
Such as:
 I may injure him
 He may injure me
 Revenge may follow in generations
 Wealth, money will be lost from both sides
 Police may get involve
 Both families will suffer
 Allah will be unhappy; I will commit sins and will be punished by Allah etc.

That is how reasoning can prevent me from becoming hot headed and hot tempered. With
reasoning, my anger will be challenged and I have to justify my anger with reasons, evidence
and facts. I have to justify my anger in the light of divine guidance. This reasoning doesn’t
come overnight, it comes with conscious and continuous efforts. No doubt it is a best tool for
anger control.

Example Two:
Suppose I am travelling with my family. My child took my wallet to buy something from the shop. But
she left my wallet there and it was lost. I lost my wallet, money, bank cards and driving licence. I am
in trouble. I feel frustrated and angry. I look for whom to blame. Who would you blame if you were
in my position?
But I am a Muslim. I’m supposed to be understanding. I’m suppose to go through facts and evidence
before I put the blame on my child. Should not I? So I begin questioning about what happened before
I show my anger. Such as:
 What shall I achieve if I get angry with my child?
 Will it give my wallet back?
 Will it make my child feel good?
 Will it be fair to be angry for her mistake?
 What if I did that mistake?
 Why this loss happened to me anyway?
 Is it a test from Allah?
 What should I do now? Should I be patient and pray to Allah or should I show my angry
tantrum? Etc.

This kind of reasoning opens the window of wisdom. I don’t see benefit in getting angry then. I
console my heart saying, “May be it is my Qadr (Fate), or may be Allah is testing me, or may be

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with this loss Allah wants to forgive my sins, or may be with this worry Allah wants to elevate
my status in righteousness and so on.” All these reasonings makes me calm not angry.

Now let us look at a verse in holy Quran: Allah (S.W.T) says:


Al Quran 2.155: “And be sure We shall test you with some fear and hunger, some loss of goods,
or lives, or the fruits (of your hard work), but give glad news to those who patiently perseveres.”

Example 3:
Suppose my brother attempts to kill me. Should I kill him out of my anger? No! I have to do the
reasoning here. Such as:

 Who decides about my life and death? My brother or Allah?


 Can he kill me if Allah decides me to be alive?
 Should I be violent in return to my brother’s violence?
 What shall I achieve if I kill him?
 What will he achieve if he kills me?
 What is my duty here? Etc.

We can see an example of two brothers in Holy Quran. There were two sons of Hazrat Adam (A.S).
They were Qabil and Habil. Qabil was angry with Habil and he decided to kill his own blood brother
Habil. He was jealous and out of jealousy he became angry and wanted to kill his pious brother.
But despite the killing threat, the pious Habil used his reasoning. He had understanding about
rights and responsibilities. His reasoning was as following: Holy Quran: 5.28-29

Al Quran 5.28-29: Habil said to Qabil, “If you do stretch your hand against me, to kill me, (Then)
it is not for me to stretch my hand against you to kill you: Because I do fear Allah---

As for me, I intend to let you take upon yourself my sin as well as yours, for you will be among
the companions of the Fire, and that is the reward of those who do wrong.”

What a brilliant reasoning! Wise Habil did not react angrily to his brother’s injustice. He felt it was
not worthy at all. His reasoning was:

 Allah forbid killing one another unfairly


 If you kill me, you will defy Allah
 You will be sinner
 You will be punished
 You will carry my sins as well
 I won’t kill you because I fear Allah’s punishment
 If Allah decides me to die this way, I have nothing to lose because Allah will compensate me
in Paradise

So that way Habil found tranquillity in his heart despite killing threat by his brother. This example
proves that reasoning makes us peaceful not angry. Reasoning also makes us wise and controlled.
So every time we feel angry, we should use reasoning to control our anger.

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Part Six: Anger control in sickness

Sickness and anger:


Just imagine you are suffering from a Migraine headache. You may like to lie down quietly without
any disturbance, noise or bright light. If someone from your family scream then how would you feel?
Most likely you would feel angry. That anger is out of your sickness. Normally you may be a cool, calm
and pleasant person but when sick you may feel angry.
Or imagine of a child, wakes up from sleep screaming, angry and abusive. You can’t calm the child
down. You offer this and that but nothing works. Then you decide to take the child to a doctor in the
middle of the night. Guess what! The doctor finds the reason of anger in the child. What is it? It is
inflammation in the ear. So we see again, anger can be connected with sickness.
Or just imagine, a lady goes through blood circulation problem every month. She gets irritable with
hot flushes and everyone in the house notices that. That anger in her is due to her sickness.
Or a workaholic businessman wakes up in the morning with grumpy mood. Family know morning is
not a good time to talk to him. He doesn’t calm down until he takes a strong cup of coffee. Why he
feels so angry? It is because he has liver problem and can’t sleep well, and wakes up un-refreshed
and angry. This anger has connection with sickness as well.
Or someone suffers from irritable bowel problems. Frequent diarrhoea and weight loss, not enough
sleep, not enough rest with few young children to look after. Imagine the picture; it is a recipe for
anger. Little things frustrate that person and feels very angry.
Or you find a child, very angry, very cruel and gets into fights at school. You may wonder where that
anger or rage is coming from. Often some young people become mass killers because they have pent
up anger inside them. One of the reasons is that they are mentally and emotionally sick. May be due
to molestation, abuse, oppression and so on in their life, they have developed tremendous anger
inside them. When they burst out, they bring their anger out in a violent manner.

So we must understand that anger can be a part of sickness. It can be within us or within others. If
we understand our anger during our sickness then we can take necessary steps to cure it. If we
understand about other’s sickness and anger then we can react to them without anger. Many of us
do not think seriously that we feel angry because of our sickness.
Many of us think anger is a bad thing. We don’t discuss about it with others, we do not share our
problems with others, and we do not take help like medicine or counselling for our anger. We keep
it in ourselves, we do lots of supplications but sometimes it doesn’t work. Why supplication doesn’t
work? May be the anger has become part of our pathology, or some kind of chemical imbalance is
permanent is us that need medication to undo.
What can we do in that case? What is the teaching of Islam about anger in sickness? How can we
control our anger that is pathological, sickness related?

Sickness is blessing; why should we feel angry?


Islamic teaching is wonderful. It informs us the wisdom behind sickness. Once we know it and believe
it firmly, our mind releases the fear or anxiety about the loss and suffering from sickness. This
information rather gives us the benefits of sickness in the long run. That positive thinking removes
our frustration and anger. So we should control our anger during sickness with positive thinking and
Islamic teachings offers positive results of sickness.

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Why should we feel angry with our sickness if we really believe how much blessing sickness bring for
us? Few blessings are as following:

1. Allah tests the believers by sickness: When we take our every sickness as a test from Allah,
we then make conscious effort to win the test. We get motivated by it to be more patient or
to be more in control. Anger is a result of dis-satisfied mind but a mind ready for Allah’s test
is satisfied. That’s the secret of why we should not feel angry with sickness. We shall feel
discomfort for sure but we should look forward to enormous rewards from merciful Allah. Let
us look at a beautiful Hadis:

Hazrat Anas (R.A) said, Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: Big reward comes through big danger.
When Allah loves a group of people, tests them with danger. So whoever feels happy with
that test receives Allah’s pleasure. And whoever is unhappy with that test receives Allah’s
displeasure.” [Tirmidi, Ibn Maza]

2. Allah removes the sins: This is another great motivation why we should not feel angry with
sickness. Our suffering is a cleansing process of our sins. We find this fact in following Hadis:

Hazrat Abu Huraira and Hazrat Abu Sayeed Khudri (R.A) narrated that Holy Prophet (S.A.W)
said: There is no danger, sickness, worry, suffering or sadness, even a thorn that pinch in
Muslims body, by which Allah does not forgive sins.” [Muatta]

3. Sickness brings everlasting safety for Muslims: What a true believer has to lose through
sickness? Nothing actually. That’s why they need to show patience, emotional control,
positive attitude when they are sick. Islamic teaching prepares a Muslims mind to handle
difficulties with a happy feeling, to battle against anger and frustration with a content heart.
Let us look at a Hadis below:

Hazrat Abu Huraira (R.A) narrates, Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: Whoever died in sickness, he
died as a martyr, he will be saved from punishment in grave and will be given sustenance
from Paradise every morning and afternoon. [Ibn Maza and Baihaqi Shua’bul Imaan]

4. Giving care to the sick brings Paradise for us: Again, why should we feel angry when we look
after a sick one? Only ignorant people feel burdened, irritable and angry about nurturing sick
people. Islamic teaching again informs us the great benefit in taking care of the sick one. If we
firmly believe in it, then instead of feeling angry we should feel fortunate. A beautiful Hadis
below:

Hazrat Ali (R.A) said, “I heard holy Prophet (S.A.W) saying: When a Muslim goes to take
care/visit another sick Muslim in the morning, 70,000 angels supplicate for him/her until
evening. If a Muslim goes to take care/visit another sick Muslim in the evening, 70,000
angels supplicate for him/her until morning. Besides, a garden is made for those caregivers
in Paradise.” [Tirmidi, Abu Dawood]

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5. Sickness in Muslims is not due to Allah’s anger: Sickness in Muslim is not Allah’s anger on
them rather it is Allah’s mercy on them or a test on them. Allah is very kind on His servants.
This is the clear cut teaching of Islam. So why we should feel frustrated and angry with
sickness? Suppose we want to dedicate our lives for Allah but can’t do it due to sickness.
Should we feel frustrated or angry about it? No! Not at all.
Look at Quranic verse to see Allah’s principle toward sick Muslims in terms of holy war!

Al Quran 48.17: “No blame or sin is there on the blind, nor is the blame on the lame, nor on one
ill.”

Look again at Quranic verse for sick Muslims in terms of their obligatory Fasting!

Al Quran 2.184: “But if any of you is ill or on a journey, the same number (should be made up)
from other days.”(When they are not sick)

When people are sick, they feel down and look for someone to put the blame. They fear for pain,
suffering, loss of enjoyment or even loss of life. That frustrates people and they feel angry. Islamic
teaching offers medicine for those negative feelings. Mankind should follow it for a happy state of
mind and healthy state of emotion.

Medicine for anger in sickness


Can we take any medicine for anger with sickness? What is the Islamic teaching about it? What
should we do when a sick child kicks and bites others due to anger? What is best way we can help a
person who received a head injury and since then he throws anger or temper tantrums?
The answer is, Allah (S.A.W) created sickness as well as medicine to cure that sickness. That medicine
could be divine prayer or chemical-natural medicines. The earth is full of ingredients with healing
capacity. Allah created all those ingredients along with talent in human to find them and use them.

Al Quran 26.80: “And when I am ill, it is Allah Who cures me.”

Allah has provided cure for every illness. Look at this hadis below:

Hazrat Abu Huraira (R.A) narrated that Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: Allah has not send down a
disease except that He has also sent down its cure.” [Bhukhari]

For cure, appropriate medicine is required. Allah knows the best suitable medicine for any specific
disease. Another Hadis:

Hazrat Jaber (R.A) narrated that Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: There is medicine for every disease. So
when the right medicine is used, then by the will of Allah the sick person become sick-free. [Muslim]

Did Allah’s messenger advise his companion to take medicine? Let us find the answer from the
following hadis:

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Hazrat Usama Ibn Shareek (R.A) narrated, he said, companions asked, “O Messenger of Allah!
Shall we use medicine?” He said: “Yes! O servants of Allah! Take medicine, Because Allah has
not created any disease without its cure except ageing.” [Ahmed, Tirmidi, Abu Dawood]

Our question was, can we take medicine for anger with sickness. Above evidence tells us that we
should take medicine if necessary. Holy Prophet (S.A.W) used medicine for him, for his family and for
his companions.
Human do not know all the medicines with their limited knowledge. Allah knows best. That’s why the
wisest step is to pray to Allah first for cure and guidance before we try medications. If Allah grants
cure then medicine will work otherwise no medicine has power to cure us. So the greatest lesson
here is that we must try both supplication to Allah and medicine.

Is anger itself a sickness?


All anger is not sickness. Anger is a healthy emotional response. But when anger is excessive, out of
control, too frequent, boiling the person inside preventing appropriate thoughts and actions----------
then that anger is sickness. That excessive anger is part of the permanent disturbance in the vital
force of that person. The person is stuck with it and it should be treated as a sickness.

A healthy person should be able to control his/her anger and can use anger towards a rational way
to achieve positive outcome. When the person is unable to control his/her anger and is driven by the
anger rather than mind, then it is considered sickness in Homeopathic philosophy.
If a person loses chemical balance in his/her system and loses the ability of controlling anger then a
medicine should help to bring back the chemical balance in that person, InshaAllah. With my
experience in Homeopathy, I can share few high lights for the benefit of the readers InshaAllah.

How homeopathy treats anger problem?


Homeopathy is a holistic approach. It aims to treat the whole person. So it brings all the factors into
consideration such as mental, emotional and physical disturbances. When someone shows anger as
a prominent symptom, a classical Homeopath looks at that anger in two main ways. (1) Anger
associated with acute sickness or (2) Anger without any other prominent disturbance. Let me
elaborate a bit:

First: Anger with acute sickness.


For example, a person develops high fever and gets into a delirium stage. He sees unreal things. He
may see every person near him is trying to kill him. That makes him suspicious, mad and he attacks
them with rage. Some people in mental institutions have uncontrollable anger and rage because in
their mind they have wrong perceptions about the reality. That wrong perception may even develop
after a trauma like a head injury through accident or babies through traumatic birth etc.
That kind of anger with acute sickness is easier to treat. A right remedy works to eliminate the
sickness and the anger also calms down with it.

Second: Anger without acute sickness.


This is an angry persona. They may have short fuse and they blow up quickly. It is also a kind of
sickness. Something has made this person an “Angry person”. Treating this kind of anger is difficult.

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A classical Homeopath has to go through investigation to know the past history of the person. Even
if proper clue is not found in patient’s life history, homeopath has to investigate the disposition of
mother during her pregnancy or father’s mental emotional traits to establish a cause for that anger.

Behind every episode of anger there are psychological reasons that make the person angry. That’s
why a classical homeopath asks questions to find the feeling behind the anger. Such as:

1. What makes you angry?


Why this question? Every individual has sensitivity around something. Every person feels angry
with something due to that sensitivity. The truth is, we all have different sensitivity. For example:
A person may feel angry if the room is unclean, another person may not. People may feel angry
when they are criticised, or when they are accused wrongly, or when they are contradicted, or
when they face rudeness, or when they see injustice etc. A classical homeopath lists that
sensitivity.
2. What is your feeling behind your anger?
Every episode of anger has a feeling behind it. You can ask yourself that question too. Why am I
angry? What do I feel?
For example, a girl has no other sickness except anger tantrum. When she gets angry she throws
things at others, rolls on floor, become hysterical and goes insane. Family says that she can’t
control herself. A classical homeopath would ask her until he finds her feeling behind her anger.
The feeling can be too many. It could be some kind of fear, or anxiety or strong emotional mixed
feeling.
3. How do you express your anger?
Expression shows the severity of anger as well as the severity of feeling. One may sit alone with
anger. Another person may shout with anger. Some persons may hit their wives or children with
anger. Other person may cut themselves with knife during anger or some even become so
destructive with their anger that they contemplate to commit suicide. The degree of severity
indicates certain remedy.
Sometimes, in case of children or insane patients, family observe their angry expression and
pass it to homeopaths.

Homeopathy treats the person holistically. Once the balance is in place in the angry person, it
changes the feeling or perception in the person that used to make him/her angry. As a result
the same person does not feel sensitive with issues like before or doesn’t feel as he used to feel
before. So whole feeling behind anger shifts which results no anger. Subhanallah!

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Part Seven: Perfect example in anger control

Holy Prophet: A heart did not boil with anger


How does a heart boil with anger? Or how do we know it is not boiling with anger? How can we see
a heart? How can we look into a heart to find out whether it is boiling with anger or not?

The answer is: We see other’s hearts through some windows. Eyes, nose, face, tongue are little
windows for a heart. If the heart is boiling with anger, then the heat of fire comes out through these
windows. Such as: the eyes will give ferocious look, the nose will swell like an explosive, the face will
be red with hardness and the tongue will fire at others with mean words that will hurt other people.
Even though heart is a secret inside our body and its actions are not secret at all. Our hearts has
windows to express its feelings.

An angry heart has no peace in it. It is burning inside and it releases fiery actions to other people
around it. An angry heart makes the person hard hearted, jealous, envious, full of hatred, revengeful,
rude mannered, abusive, violent and so on. If we know an angry, grumpy person, do we feel happy
around them? No! We do not. Why? It is because they are not friendly and they are not pleasant. So
we prefer to leave them alone, don’t we?

On the other hand, a non angry heart doesn’t burn inside and does not release fire on others. That
heart is filled with peace, happiness, softness, kindness, generosity, sympathy, love, care, forgiveness
and so on. It makes the person smiley, lovely, gentle and magnetic. People around them find them
friendly and people love to be with them.

With these simple examples, now look at the personality of Holy Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W)! What
was his character? What was his gesture? What was his personality? Was he a loving person? Why
people used to love him too much? Was it an angry heart to win his enemies? What kind of heart he
had that forgave his enemies who attempted to kill him? What charisma he had to attract people
around him who even loved to give up their lives for him?

Now try to look at our Prophet’s heart through his noble actions. Can you see it? I am sure we all can
see that. He had a non-angry heart. That’s why he was a loving, a forgiving, a kind, a gentle and a
friendly person. Children, young, adult, old, male or female whoever came to his touch, they got stuck
with him as if they were glued with him. No one left him because he was never unpleasant to be with.
Holy Quran echoes the same truth:

Al Quran 3.159: “It is (in part) by the mercy of Allah that you dealt gently with them. If you were
severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you: So overlook (Their faults
by pardoning them), and ask for (Allah’s) Forgiveness for them.”

Holy Prophet: Example of non-angry, non-violent persona


Mankind need examples. They need models. Then they find easier to follow. Then they can see how
a human can be practically a non angry and non violent. There are plenty examples around ill
tempered people. Mankind have seen angry tyrants and how they oppress other humans.

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But if mankind want to see one example of non-angry and non-violent personality in ALL different
stages of life such as a child, as an orphan, as a young, as an employee, as a businessman, as social
leader, as a learner, as a husband, as a father, as a relative, as a soldier, as a army general, as an
oppressed, as a ruler, as a poor, as a rich or as a prophet and so on-----------then they must look at
one single example and he is the messenger of Allah, Muhammad (S.A.W). Allah made him a perfect
model

Al Quran 33.21: “In the messenger of Allah (Muhammad saw), you have a beautiful (pattern of
conduct) and example for one whose hope is in Allah and the Final day, and who Praises Allah
much.”

He was not a hot tempered person. He was never a violent person. He was never an abusive person.
He never cursed others. He never was hot headed. He had a balanced mind and emotion. His actions
always displayed his balanced state of emotion. He had all the positive manners that a non-angry
heart can produce. His disposition was very calm, pleasant and peaceful. He was always constructive,
never destructive. He won peoples heart not by anger or violence but by love and forgiveness.
Whoever was around him, found him sweet and lovely.

People who served holy prophet gave witness about his non-angry sweet personality. Usually people
get angry with their sub ordinates because they are weak and weak can’t retaliate. But Holy Prophet
(S.A.W) was exceptional. He was not angry with people who served him. He was affectionate, loving
and caring natured with his servants. Let us see what his servant Hazrat Anas (R.A) had to say about
his disposition:

Hazrat Anas (R.A) said, I joined in the service of Muhammad (S.A.W) since I was ten years old
and I served him for ten years. If I had broken anything he never told me off. If any family
member told me off, he used to say, “Leave him, what meant to happen had happen.” [Mishqat,
hadis no 5571]

What about the testimony from his family? Usually, family know a family member very well. Why? It
is because a person can not hide anger or violence from other members of the family. The family of
holy prophet (S.A.W) never found him angry or abusive, cursing out of anger or beating someone out
of anger, or any kind of violent outburst. Let us look at a testimony from his beloved wife, honourable
Ayesha (R.A):

Ayesha (R.A) said, Holy prophet (S.A.W) never beat anyone with his own hand except holy war
[That was forced upon him and he had to defend the peace and fairness]. He never had beaten
his wives or servants. If he got hurt by others physically or emotionally, he never took any
revenge.” [Muslim]

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Holy Prophet: Anger with control
Anger can be mainly two types: (1) Anger with control and (2) Anger without control. Anger with
control is good if it is necessary. Feeling angry towards unfairness, injustices, exploitations,
corruptions, human rights violations and so on is good as long as it is under control. What is under
control? It means, anger is handled or managed with wisdom according to the divine guidance. If one
controls anger with divine guidance, he finds motivation from that anger to achieve positive things
for himself and for others.

Suppose, if someone uses anger to stop a killer from killing innocent souls, then that anger is
considered as worship. But that anger has to be controlled within the divine rules. If anger gives
courage to someone to speak against a tyrant to establish human rights, then that anger brings
rewards from Allah as well as peace and happiness for oppressed people. But the condition again,
that anger has to be controlled, healthy and balanced opposed to madness and out of control.

Holy Prophet (S.A.W) was the example of that balanced, healthy anger with control. He never felt
overwhelming anger nor did he act insane with his anger. He used to feel angry towards the wrong
things but he was not driven by anger. He used to show his mild anger to deliver a teaching. His anger
was never to take revenge, or destroy the opponents but always to defend the rights and to deliver
right lesson. Let us look at an example of his anger:

Hazrat Abu Huraira (R.A) narrated, a man scolded Abu Bakr (R.A). Meanwhile Holy Prophet
(S.A.W) was sitting there and was smiling surprisingly. When the man was scolding more to
Abu Bakr (R.A), he (Abu Bakr) told the man off. That made Holy Prophet angry and he left Abu
Bakr angrily.
Abu Bakr went after Holy Prophet and asked, “O Messenger of Allah! When that man was
scolding me, you were sitting there (Smiling). But when I replied, why did you leave angrily?”
Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: An angel was with you (As long as the man was scolding you) and
the angel was replying him (On your behalf). But when you started replying him, Satan came in
between you and him [To encourage anger and fight, and the angel left you]. Then Holy
Prophet (S.A.W) added: O Abu Bakr! There are 3 things very true.
(1) If a servant of Allah receives oppression but he/she doesn’t protest for the pleasure of
Allah, Allah increases honour for that servant and Allah helps that servant.
(2) If a person opens the door of help for helping his/her relatives, Allah increases his/her
wealth.
(3) Whoever opens the door of begging and with it wishes to increase wealth, then Allah
decreases his/wealth for the begging [AHMED]

Holy Prophet: Nature of his anger from above Hadis


What do we learn about Holy Prophets anger from above Hadis? What this Hadis teaches us about
controlled anger? We can highlight a few points from the above hadis, such as:

 The aim of that anger was noble. It was to give a lesson to his companion about the enemy Satan.

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 The anger was associated with righteous feelings such as sympathy toward Abu Bakr.
 The anger was not associated with any negative traits. He (S.A.W) did not have a malicious heart.
He did not shout, abuse or fight. He did not do anything cruel.
 His anger was a mild dis-satisfaction but very peaceful. He did not offend Abu Bakr. He left Abu
Bakr peacefully. It was a wise move to win Abu Bakr’s heart for learning. It worked and Abu Bakr
followed Holy Prophet to learn the reason.
 His anger was controlled, non violent, not with rage or tantrum. He did not lose his calmness,
gentleness or wisdom with it. That was a perfect example of controlled anger with best aim, with
best expression and without any harmful feelings or actions. His anger did not do any harm to
anyone rather it brought a good outcome.

We can see even holy prophet’s anger was a blessing for mankind. Surely, he was a blessing as
Allah (S.W.T) says about His beloved Prophet in Holy Quran

Al Quran 21-107: “And we did not send you (O Prophet), except as mercy to all mankind.”

Holy Prophet (S.A.W) came to give only positive example to the mankind, not the negative.
Mankind should learn from his positive teachings

Al Quran 7.157: “For he (the prophet) commands them what is just and forbids them what
is evil; He allows them as lawful what is good (and pure) and prohibits them from what is
bad (and impure);

May Allah bestow peace and blessings upon His beloved Prophet Muhammad! Ameen!

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Part Eight: Islam calls for anger control

Anger control or anger elimination?


What exactly Islam teaches? Does it tell us to remove anger completely from our system? Or does it
advise us to numb our angry feeling completely? Or is eliminating anger a natural thing? Or do we
want extreme paralyzed emotional plane? No! That is not the teaching of Islam. Islam is a religion of
balance because it has come from Almighty creator who knows the exact, balanced and healthy
emotional need for mankind. Therefore anger is a need for our emotional balance, Allah (S.W.T)
never commands mankind to uproot their anger but He commands to control our anger. Allah says
in the Holy Quran:

Al Quran 3.134: “Who controls anger and pardon (all) man: Verily Allah loves those who do
good.”

Needless to say, there must be good reasons why anger control is healthier than anger elimination.

Also it must be a fact that anger has lots of benefit as long as we use it in a controlled way. May be
we should go through few benefits of “controlled anger” below:

It gives us power to oppose oppression: A child who gets beating from his parents may use the anger
to stand defiantly and take the beating. Similarly, a righteous person may feel angry against
corruption at work. It may cost his job but his anger will give him power to take suffering yet not
surrender to it.

Anger gives us motivation to achieve: A young man applied for a secretary job with all right
qualification and experience but due to discrimination he was not given the job. That makes him
angry and he decides to prove himself. His anger motivates him to study further and become
somebody great. He does that and becomes a scientist. What made him achieve greater things in
life? It was his anger directed in a positive way.
Another young man went to the stage for delivering a speech but he forgot what to say. Everyone
laughed at him and cursed him and said to him that he should never ever come to the stage again.
He felt humiliated and angry with himself. But he made promise in his mind, and that was, “One day
I shall make myself a great speaker and all my critics today will cheer me up.” He never forgot his
promise. His anger motivated him to practise and practise and surely one day he became a great
speaker. If anger motivates a person to achieve better thing then it has to be good.

Anger gives power to stand against injustices: What makes people courageous? What encourages
people to take life risk and speak up against injustices? It is anger. Throughout the history we see
people give lives to remove tyrants. Often people have to fight for peace which is not easy. It requires
constant motivation, power and passion to fight for justice no matter how hard it is or how much
sacrifice one has to make. Anger motivates people to do that.

Anger is good for teaching discipline: Just imagine if teachers do not feel angry about naughty
children! Or parents never feel angry about the misbehaviour of children! Then what world shall we
live in? Will there be any discipline? Will there be a good, happy and crimeless society? No! They

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would not learn good lessons. They will grow wild, will be destructive and immoral. That is another
reason why anger is necessary but within control. Anger motivates teachers or parents or societies
to discipline and taking actions against criminal actions.

All these benefits of anger make us think about Islam. It must be a religion of moderation and balance.
That’s why it doesn’t teach to eliminate anger but it calls for the control of anger. It is the true religion
that offers right teachings about anger control. Almighty Allah says in Holy Quran:

Al Quran 3.19: “The (True) Religion with Allah is Islam (Submission to His will).”
Islam and
anger
control: The best recipe
What is Islam? Is it a religion with few rituals? No! It is not. Islam is a complete code of life. It
addresses every need of mankind whether it is mental, emotional or physical. It is a complete and
perfect recipe for human happiness and progress. Allah (S.W.T) blessed mankind with a complete
and perfect code of life: Allah says in Holy Quran

Al Quran 5.3: “This day I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and
have chosen Islam as your religion for you.”

The next question is why Islam and anger control is the best recipe? The answer is that the reasons
are many. I would like to mention a few here for the benefit of the wise readers.

1. Islam is from the Almighty creator: Islamic teaching about anger control is not man made.
Human knowledge can never master the full depth of human emotions. As a result human
endeavour is never perfect. On the other hand Almighty creator gives a perfect anger
management plan for His creations. So there is no match between the two. That is why Islamic
guidance about anger control is the best recipe. Al-Quran 5.3

Al Quran 5.3: “This day I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have
chosen Islam as your religion for you.”

2. Islam informs beyond human knowledge: Information about Satan or influence of Satan in
human anger does not come from human knowledge. It comes from divine Islamic
knowledge. No human knows about Satan. Man made powerful radar can not even detect
Satan nor can most sophisticated camera spot this enemy.

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In that case, without the information of Satan and the protection from Satan, man made anger
control therapy is incomplete anyway. Human knowledge is helpless here against Satan. The fact
is that Satan is one of the big parts in anger. So how can we control anger if we do not have the
weapon to drive Satan away?

Alhamdulillah! Here Islam comes with complete recipe. Islam informs us the entire secret about
our worst enemy.

Al Quran 36.60: “Did I not command you? O! Children of Adam! That you should not worship
Satan, Verily, he is to you an open enemy.”

Besides, Islam teaches mankind how can they save themselves from the Satanic attacks. Islam
teaches the protection from satanic attack comes only one way. What is the way? Is it to fight Satan
with a knife? No! The only way is “Seeking refuge in Allah” because Satan is afraid of Allah, not afraid
of human. According to a Hadis as following:

Abu Jar (R.A) said, holy prophet (S.A.W) said to me: “O Abu jar! Seek refuge in Allah from man
and jinn Satan.” I said, “Is there Satan among man as well?” He (S.A.W) said, “Yes.”

Merciful Allah also gives us remedy against Satan in the Holy Quran:

Al Quran 7:201: “If a suggestion from Satan attacks your (mind), find (your) shelter with Allah;
Verily, Allah hears and knows (all things)”

3. Islamic teaching includes everlasting benefits: Human knowledge sees the pros and cons of
anger only in this life. They do not know about next life and they do not know what the
consequences of anger are in the everlasting life. In that regard Islamic teaching is complete
and farsighted. Islam explains about results of controlled anger in the Day of Judgment or in
the Paradise for example.

But man made anger management course never goes that far. It only considers immediate things
around human life only. That is why Islamic teaching offers best motivation when it promises
rewards in paradise or the rewards of anger control in the Day of Judgment. Let us look at a Hadis
below:

Hazrat Anas (R.A) narrated, Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: “Whoever controls his/her anger, Allah
(S.W.T) will remove His anger from him/her in the Day of Judgment.” [Mishqat]

What a reward in the Day of Judgment! When Allah will Judge us in there, He will look at our
record. If we forgive other’s mistakes frequently when we are angry for Allah’s sake, then in the
Day of Judgment Allah will not be angry with our mistakes. Allah will also forgive us. What a
motivation! Alhamdulillah!

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4. Islam gives right and wrong boundary for anger: What exactly is right, fair and just? And
what exactly is wrong, unfair and unjust? We got to be sure on this before we say, “It is
allowed to use anger against unfair.” Human definition of fair and unfair is not the same in
different beliefs or cultures. So it is confusing. For example, Pharaoh and his counsel were
angry against Prophet Musa (A.S) as they thought Musa was creating problem in the land.
That made them to think that it was fair to kill the Muslim baby boys.

If we leave it with human to define what is fair and unfair, then everyone will choose what suits
them. It will never give a neutral, unbiased definition. That is why mankind should follow the
definition of fairness and unfairness from the Almighty creator who is above from all biasness
and emotional weaknesses. That is what Islam does offer. It offers a boundary of fair and unfair
from Allah (S.W. T).

Now, with divine Islamic guidelines, if anyone follows anger control system, will never go wrong.
But with limited human knowledge based on guess can go wrong anytime. Allah (S.W.T) warns
mankind in Holy Quran

Al Quran 18.103: Say, “Shall We tell you of the greatest losers because of their deeds?”
“Those whose actions were wasted in this life, while they thought that they were acquiring
good by their works?”

The End

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