ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER…..

An Effective Approach to Avoid Conflicts & Arguments….

When we argue we tend to say anything to support our cause. We quote-misquote, we indulge in
blame game or even bet in absurdist and most ridiculous manner. But who can be persuaded by bags
of air like this.

The problem in trying to prove a point or gain a victory through argument is that in the end you can
never be certain how it affects the people involved. They may appear to agree with you politely, may
be because of your authority or their own submissive nature, but inside they may resent you, or
perhaps may take offence of something you said inadvertently. Because, all of us have this inbuilt
habit of interpreting the words according to our mood, perception and the relationship with the other
person. And days after agreeing with someone, we often revert back to our old opinion out of sheer
habit.

Sir Christopher Wren was England’s version of the Renaissance man. He had mastered the sciences
of mathematics, astronomy, physics, and physiology. Yet during his extremely long career as
England’s most celebrated architect he was often told by his patrons to make impractical changes in
his designs. Never once did he argue or offend. He had others ways of proving his point.

In 1968, Wren designed a magnificent town hall for the city of Westminster. The mayor, however,
was not satisfied; in fact he was afraid. He told Wren he was afraid the second floor was not secure,
and that it could all come crashing down on his proposed office on the first floor. He demanded that
Wren add two extra stone columns for extra support. Wren the consummate engineer, knew that
these columns would serve no purpose, and that the mayor’s fears were baseless. But he did build
them. The mayor was grateful. It was only years later that workmen on a high scaffold saw that the
columns stopped just short of the ceiling. They were actually dummies.

But both men got what they wanted: They mayor could relax and Wren received Mayor’s patronage
without being principally affected by Mayor’s interruptions.

(Adapted & translated from: “48 Laws of Power” By Robert Greene)

Yes my friends, ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS!

Demonstrations are convincingly powerful than hollow words. There are no offensive words, no
possibility of misinterpretation. No one can argue with a demonstrated proof.
As Baltasar Gracian remarks,

“The truth is generally seen, rarely heard.”

People are free to disagree with you. They take it as a privilege. (RESPECT THEIR RIGHTS!)
But remember they have nothing to do with you personally.
Æ So the best way to avoid an argument is not to get your ego involved in it.
Æ The person arguing with you lays a trap with challenging bait. “DON’T TAKE THE BAIT”
Æ Remember that a person convinced against his will, remains still unconvinced.
Æ Don’t enjoy the success of an argument at the cost of your relationship.
Æ Remain open minded to explore the other side. THE OTHER PERSON MAY BE RIGHT TOO!

Finally, I would like to conclude with a smart piece of advice in the form of these verses:

Khush na ho jung-e-laffazi ko jeetkar,

Ghor farmana zara ai mere yaar,
Phir na lotenge vo zabani nashtar,
Lafz hoton se jo nikle ek baar.

Jung-e-laffazi: verbal duel

Zabani Nashtar: verbal blades