Vous êtes sur la page 1sur 320

Leading with Emotional

Intelligence:
Psychology of Leadership

Professor Dr. Leonard Yong

1
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Course outline
Introduction
Gain the ability to recognize and positively manage emotions in yourself, in
others and in groups!
Recent studies indicate that emotional intelligence is a powerful key to
effective leadership. This valuable seminar delivers the in-depth knowledge
and practical skills you need to ensure that you are a strong, emotionally
intelligent leader. You will also learn how to apply emotional intelligence to
specific leadership situations to gain the authority and success you strive for
as a leader.

Objectives
By the end of this programme you will be able to:
 Gain an honest and accurate awareness of Yourself
 Monitor and adapt your own emotions and behaviours for your benefit
and that of your Team & Department
 Have a positive influence on the emotions an motivation of others
 Develop cohesive, emotionally intelligent teams
 Create an atmosphere that fosters emotional intelligence
 Adaptability in dealing with different personalities
 Understand and apply the psychology of leadership

Training Methodology
The seminar will combine presentations with interactive practical exercises,
supported by video material and case studies. Delegates will be encouraged
to participate actively in relating the principles of emotional intelligence to the
particular needs of their workplace.

Organisational Impact
 Improve teamwork and teambuilding skills through greater emotional
intelligence
 Enhance cooperation through better relationship building skills
 Develop a emotionally intelligence work environment

Personal Impact
 Learn how to cultivate emotional intelligence competencies
 Effectively manage your own emotions & emotions of others
 Personal growth as an emotionally intelligent leader
 Understand the different personality styles

Competencies Emphasized
This programme aims to enable participants to develop the following
competencies:
 Utilize the power of emotional intelligence
 Develop higher levels of self-awareness & self-management
 Be more knowledgeable about your strengths & how to maximize them
 Apply emotional intelligence in leadership situations
 Apply psychology to lead others better and improve their performance
 Utillize psychological principles to enhance your leadership

2
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Who Should Attend?


All leaders who want to create an emotionally healthy, productive workplace
and organizational culture to enhance their effectiveness and their ability to
form trusting relationships and manage their frustrations and those of others
at work. This seminar will keep you current on recent, cutting-edge
developments in leadership theory and practice, and help you better
collaborate and manage conflict.

3
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

SEMINAR OUTLINE
DAY 1: Introduction to Emotional Intelligence
 Understanding emotional intelligence & its components
 Significance of EQ to effective leadership
 Importance of perception
 Attitudes & behavior of leaders
 Consequences of low EQ to personal effectiveness
 Removing emotional blindspots

DAY 2: Psychology of Leadership


 Theories of leadership
 Importance of self-concept
 Understanding personality styles
 Optimizing our personality strengths
 Adaptability in dealing with different personalities
 Task versus relationship oriented leadership

DAY 3: Apply Psychology in Leading in an Emotionally Intelligent Way


 Enhancing self-awareness
 Empathy : Increase your level of social awareness
 Delegating tasks and responsibilities
 Influencing and inspiring people
 Identifying personality disorders
 Managing difficult behaviour & poor performance

DAY 4: Building an Emotionally Intelligent Team based on Psychological


Principles
 Importance of EQ to team effectiveness
 Motivating a high performance team
 Building unified teams
 EQ for building trusting relationships
 Conflict resolution for promoting consensus & collaboration
 Increase the EQ of your teams & entire organisation

DAY 5: Communication for Successful Leadership


 Giving & receiving feedback
 Psychology of persuasion
 Creating an inspiring vision
 Solving people problems at work
 Non-alienation for high EQ leadership
 Developing leadership integrity

4
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Facilitator Profile
Professor Dr. Leonard M S Yong (FAPA; Ph.D; M.Ed; B.Sc)

Professor Dr. Yong is a industrial psychologist. He has gained international


recognition for his research and consultancy work on creativity & emotional
intelligence. Based on his pioneering work on the LEONARD Personality
Inventory (LPI) & the LPI Software, and its use in helping individuals to
develop their Emotional Intelligence (EQ) & creativity, Professor Yong has
consulted and conducted numerous training workshops on EQ and Creative
Thinking for leaders in organizations such as Kuwait Oil Company, Kuwait
National Petroleum Company, British Petroleum (BP), Cathay Pacific Airlines,
Thai Securities Exchange Commission, Readers Digest, Reuters, Cititel Hotel,
Horwath International, Tan Chong Motors, Ban Hin Lee Bank, Acer
Technology, Kian Holdings, Public Packages Holdings, Unilever Thailand,
Syngenta, Carat Club & B Braun.

Professor Yong has addressed groups in many countries such as the United
Arab Emirates (UAE), Kuwait, Oman, Saudi Arabia, Malaysia, United States of
America (USA), Austria, Britain, Australia, France, New Zealand, Germany,
Italy, Russia, Japan, China, India, Korea, Indonesia, Burma, Hong Kong,
Singapore, Thailand and Papua New Guinea. He has undertaken creativity &
EQ research in the USA, Australia, Austria, Germany, Italy, Japan and the
United Kingdom.

He was awarded the 1992 Fulbright-ACLS/MACEE Award to undertake


research on the creativity of Americans. He was awarded the 1993 Japan
Foundation Research Fellowship Award to conduct research on Japanese
creativity. He was also awarded the Senior Research Fellowship, European
Studies Program 2000 (Bocconi University, Italy) to conduct personality
research in Italy, Germany and Scotland.

Professor Yong‘s books include Creativity:A Study of Malaysian Students,


Pemikiran Kreatif and The LEONARD Personality Inventory. His articles have
appeared in journals such as Perceptual & Motor Skills, The Journal of
Creative Behavior and Education Quarterly. He is a member of the American
Psychological Association and the Malaysian Psychological Association and a
Fellow of the American Psychotherapy Association.

5
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION TO EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE ...................................................... 7


Understanding emotional intelligence & its components ........................................ 8
Importance of EQ To Effective Leadership .......................................................... 11
Importance of perception ..................................................................................... 14
Attitudes and behaviour of leaders ...................................................................... 18
Consequences of low EQ to effectiveness........................................................... 50
Removing emotional blindspots ........................................................................... 57
PSYCHOLOGY OF LEADERSHIP .......................................................................... 72
Theories of leadership ......................................................................................... 73
Importance of self-concept .................................................................................. 77
Understanding personality styles ......................................................................... 81
Optimizing our personality strengths .................................................................... 84
Adaptability in dealing with different personalities ................................................ 99
Task versus relationship oriented styles .............................................................105
APPLY PSYCHOLOGY IN LEADING IN AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT WAY .......... 143
Enhancing self-awareness .................................................................................144
Empathy: Increase your level of social awareness .............................................154
Delegating tasks and responsibilities ..................................................................156
Influencing & inspiring people .............................................................................163
Identifying personality disorders .........................................................................184
Managing difficult behaviour and poor performance ...........................................190
BUILDING AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT TEAM BASED ON PSYCHOLOGICAL
PRINCIPLES ................................................................................................... 214
Importance of EQ to team effectiveness .............................................................215
Motivating a high performance team ...................................................................222
Building unified teams ........................................................................................230
EQ for building trusting relationships ..................................................................237
Conflict resolution for promoting consensus & collaboration ...............................248
Increase the EQ of your teams and entire organisation ......................................265
COMMUNICATION FOR SUCCESSFUL LEADERSHIP ............................................. 282
Giving & receiving feedback ...............................................................................283
Psychology of persuasion ...................................................................................285
Creating an inspiring vision.................................................................................290
Solving people problems at work ........................................................................296
Non-alienation for high EQ leadership ................................................................307
Developing leadership integrity ...........................................................................314
Developing an action plan ..................................................................................319

6
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Introduction to
Emotional
Intelligence

7
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Understanding emotional intelligence & its


components

Objectives of this program

By the end of this programme you will be able to:


1) Gain an honest and accurate awareness of Yourself
2) Monitor and adapt your own emotions and behaviours for your benefit
and that of your Team & Department
3) Have a positive influence on the emotions an motivation of others
4) Develop cohesive, emotionally intelligent teams
5) Create an atmosphere that fosters emotional intelligence
6) Adaptability in dealing with different personalities
7) Understand and apply the psychology of leadership

State three of the objectives which are important to you.

a) Objective:

Why?

b) Objective:

Why?

c) Objective:

Why?

8
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Understanding emotional intelligence and its components

―Emotional Intelligence‖: a set of competencies that distinguishes how people


manage feelings, interact and communicate.

EQ helps us understand how and why we react and respond to certain events
in the organization. It also helps us to appreciate that our daily encounters
are shaped not just by our rational judgment and our personal history but are
largely influenced by our perceptions and expectations.

EQ plays a very important role in daily workplace interactions such as:

 How we respond to criticisms

 How we deal with diversity

 How tolerant we are with certain behaviors or situations

 How we motivate ourselves and others

The high EQ individual demonstrates abilities to pursue goals with vision,


perseverance and energy.

Research has indicated that the following emotional competencies contribute


significantly to predict success at work:

 Self-Awareness

 Emotional Resilience

 Decisiveness

 Interpersonal Sensitivity

 Influencing and Persuasion abilities

 Conscientiousness and Integrity

 Motivation

9
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Emotional Intelligence has basic components such as:

EQ Basic
Description
Components
Self-Awareness Ability of an individual to recognize and understand
one‘s moods, emotions and drives as well as their
impact on others.

Self-Regulation Ability to control or redirect impulses and moods as


well as the ability to suspend judgment so as to think
before acting.

Empathy Ability to understand the emotional makeup of other


people and skill in responding according to their
emotional reactions.

Interpersonal Skills Indicate the individual‘s proficiency in managing


relationships and building networks. Interpersonal
skills also involve the ability to find common ground
and build rapport.

10
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Importance of EQ To Effective Leadership

LEADERS WITH EMOTIONAL EXCELLENCE

In his excellent book on leadership entitled Principled-Centred Leadership,


Stephen R. Covey lists eight leadership traits of effective and successful
leaders.

1. They are continually learning


 Principle-centered people are constantly educated by their
experiences.
 Whey read, they seek training, they take classes, they listen to others,
they learn through both their ears and their eyes.
 They are curious, always asking questions.
 Most of this learning and growth energy is self-initiated and feeds upon
itself.

Covey suggests your action steps to take:


 You will develop your abilities faster by learning to make and keep
promises or commitments.
 Start by making a small promise to yourself; continue fulfilling that
promise until you have a sense that you have a little more control over
yourself. Now take the next level of challenge.
 Make yourself a promise and keep it until you have established control
at that level.
 Now move to the next level; make the promise, keep it.
 As you do this, your sense of personal worth will increase; your sense
of self-mastery will grow, as will your confidence that you can master
the next level.

2. They are service-oriented


 Those striving to be principle-centered see life as a mission, not as a
career.
 Their nurturing sources have armed and prepared them for service.
 In effect, every morning they "yoke up" and put on the harness of
service, thinking of others.

Covey suggests your action steps to take: See yourself


 each morning yoking up, putting on the harness of service in your
various stewardships.
 taking the straps and connecting them around your shoulders as you
prepare to do the work assigned to you that day.
 allowing someone else to adjust the yoke or harness.

11
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

3. They radiate positive energy


 The countenances of principle-centered people are cheerful, pleasant,
happy,
 Their attitude is optimistic, positive, upbeat. Their spirit is enthusiastic,
hopeful, believing.
 This positive energy is like an energy field or an aura that surrounds
them and that similarly charges or changes weaker, negative energy
fields around them. They also attract and magnify smaller positive
energy fields.

Covey suggests your action steps to take:


 Be aware of the effect of your own energy and understand how you
radiate and direct it.
 And in the middle of confusion or contention or negative energy, strive
to be a peacemaker, a harmonizer, to undo or reverse destructive
energy.
 You will discover what a self-fulfilling prophecy positive energy is when
combined with the next characteristic.

4. They believe in other people


 Principle-centered people don't overreact to negative behaviors,
criticism, or human weaknesses.
 They don't feel built up when they discover the weaknesses of others.
 They are not naive; they are aware of weakness.
 They don't carry grudges.
 They refuse to label other people, to stereotype, categorize, and
prejudge.

Covey suggests your action steps to take:


 Seek to believe in the unseen potential.
 This creates a climate for growth and opportunity.

5. They lead balanced lives


 They are active socially, having many friends and a few confidants.
 They are active intellectually, having many interests.
 Within the limits of age and health, they are active physically.
 They have a lot of fun. They enjoy themselves.
 They have a healthy sense of humor, particularly laughing at
themselves and not at others' expense.

Covey suggests your action steps to take:


 Don't brood (worry or keep regretting) about yesterday‘s mistakes.
 Live sensibly in the present, carefully plan the future, and flexibly adapt
to changing circumstances.

12
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

 Have a healthy sense of humor, be willing to admit and then forget


mistakes, and to cheerfully do the things ahead that lie within their
power.
 Do not manipulate through either intimidating anger or self-pitying
martyrdom.
 Be genuinely happy for others' successes and do not feel in any sense
that these take anything from them.

6. They see life as an adventure


 Principle-centered people enjoy life because their security comes from
within instead of from without.
 They have no need to categorize and stereotype everything and
everybody in life to give them a sense of certainty and predictability.

Covey suggests your action steps to take:


 Learn to rediscover people each time they meet them. Be interested in
them.
 Be completely present learn to listen actively to them.
 Lead a life of abundance

7. They are synergistic


 They are change catalysts.
 They improve almost any situation they get into.
 They work as smart as they work hard.
 They are amazingly productive, but in new and creative ways.

Covey suggests your action steps to take:


 In team endeavors, build on their strengths and strive to complement
their weaknesses with the strengths of others.
 Delegation for results & believe in others' strengths and capacities.

8. They exercise for self-renewal


 They regularly exercise the four dimensions of the human personality:
physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.
 They participate in some kind of balanced, moderate, regular program
of aerobic exercise.

Covey suggests your action steps to take:


 Exercise your minds through reading, creative problem-solving, writing,
and visualizing.
 Emotionally make an effort to be patient, to listen to others with
genuine empathy, to show unconditional love, and to accept
responsibility for your own lives and decisions and reactions.
 Spiritually they focus on prayer, scripture study, meditation, and fasting.

13
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Importance of perception

1) Our emotions are often affected by our perception.

What is perception?

PERCEPTION is the interpretation of what we SEE OR HEAR

2) What is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

EQ = Emotional IQ (Intelligence Quotient)

= Intrapersonal Skills (Self Awareness)


+
Interpersonal Skills (Relating with others)

EQ is often affected by our PERCEPTION

14
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

3) What is Emotional Excellence (EE)?

 Emotional Excellence is the HEART MOTIVATION to practice


emotional intelligence.

 We use the Leonard Personality Inventory (LPI) Holistic Model of the


individual to help the person develop emotional excellence. This
enables the individual to be motivated to practice emotional intelligence

Emotional Excellence (EE)

EE

EQ

SPIRIT MIND BODY


(PNEUMA) (PSYCHO) (SOMA)

15
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

LEONARD Personality Inventory: Quick Self-Test

Name: _________________________________________________

Instructions:
Rank the following behaviours in each horizontal row using 5 (most like me) to 1
(least like me). Please use ranks 5, 4, 3, 2 and 1 for each horizontal row. After that,
add the scores vertically in each column.

Example:

4 Imaginative 2 Calm 3 Careful 5 Friendly 1 Fast/Quick

I see myself as being …

a) ___ Imaginative ___ Calm ___ Careful ___ Friendly ___ Fast/Quick
ً‫خٍان‬ ‫هادئ‬ ‫دزس‬ ‫ودود‬ ‫سشٌع‬

b) ___ Curious ___ Nice ___ Cautious ___ Optimistic ___ Decisive
ً‫فضون‬ ‫نطٍف‬ ‫دزس‬ ‫مشح‬ ‫لادس عهى إتخار انمشاس‬

c) ___ Innovative ___ Good ___ Accurate ___ Cheerful ___ Result-oriented
‫مبتكش‬ listener
‫دلٍك‬ ‫متفائم‬ ‫بادث عن اننتٍجة‬
‫مستمع جٍذ‬

d) ___ Creative ___ Easygoing ___Studious ___ Likes others ___ Confident
)‫خالق(مبذع‬ ‫مشٌخ‬ ‫دزس‬ ‫شبٍه باألخشٌن‬ ‫واثك من نفسه‬

e) ___ Resourceful ___ Patient ___ Serious ___ Warm ___ Loves challenges
‫دالل انمشاكم‬ ‫صبوس‬ ‫جذي‬ ‫دافئ‬ ‫ٌذب انتذذي‬

Total

_______ (I) _______ (II) _______ (III) _______ (IV) _______ (V)

Now add the total scores vertically in each column

Copyright © 2007 by Prof Dr Leonard Yong

16
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

LEONARD Personality Inventory: Quick Self-Test Graph

Name: ________________________________________________________

25

20

16

15

10

0 Openness Neutral Analytical Relational Decisive

Copyright © 2007 by Prof Dr Leonard Yong.

17
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Attitudes and behaviour of leaders

LEONARD PERSONALITY
INVENTORY

Let’s
Explore
Openness
Neutral
Analytical
Relational
Decisive

18
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

LEONARD Personality Inventory: Quick Self-Test

Name: _________________________________________________

Instructions:
Rank the following behaviours in each horizontal row using 5 (most like me) to 1
(least like me). Please use ranks 5, 4, 3, 2 and 1 for each horizontal row. Do not use
the same number in the same horizontal row.

After that, add the scores vertically in each column.

Example:

4 Imaginative 2 Calm 3 Careful 5 Friendly 1 Fast/Quick

I see myself as being …

f) ___ Imaginative ___ Calm ___ Careful ___ Friendly ___ Fast/Quick
ً‫خٍان‬ ‫هادئ‬ ‫دزس‬ ‫ودود‬ ‫سشٌع‬

g) ___ Curious ___ Nice ___ Cautious ___ Optimistic ___ Decisive
ً‫فضون‬ ‫نطٍف‬ ‫دزس‬ ‫مشح‬ ‫لادس عهى إتخار انمشاس‬

h) ___ Innovative ___ Good ___ Accurate ___ Cheerful ___ Result-oriented
‫مبتكش‬ listener
‫دلٍك‬ ‫متفائم‬ ‫بادث عن اننتٍجة‬
‫مستمع جٍذ‬

i) ___ Creative ___ Easygoing ___Studious ___ Likes others ___ Confident
)‫خالق(مبذع‬ ‫مشٌخ‬ ‫دزس‬ ‫شبٍه باألخشٌن‬ ‫واثك من نفسه‬

j) ___ Resourceful ___ Patient ___ Serious ___ Warm ___ Loves challenges
‫دالل انمشاكم‬ ‫صبوس‬ ‫جذي‬ ‫دافئ‬ ‫ٌذب انتذذي‬

Total

_______ (I) _______ (II) _______ (III) _______ (IV) _______ (V)

Now add the total scores vertically in each column

Copyright © 2007 by Prof Dr Leonard Yong

19
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

LEONARD Personality Inventory: Quick Self-Test Graph

Name: ________________________________________________________

25

20

16

15

10

0 Openness Neutral Analytical Relational Decisive

Copyright © 2007 by Prof Dr Leonard Yong.

20
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

The 26 LEONARD Personality Inventory profiles

LPI Profile LPI Dimensions

1. Creative Imaginator (Openness - O)


2. Neutral Expert (Neutral - N)
3. Analytical Thinker (Analytical - A)
4. Relational Interactor (Relational - R)
5. Decisive Decision Maker (Decisive - D)

6. Error Buster N&A


7. Exhorter R&D
8. Helpful Encourager N&R
9. Implementer A&D
10. Accomplisher N&D

11. Assessor A&R


12. Creative Expert O&N
13. Creative Thinker O&A
14. Creative Relater O&R
15. Creative Decision Maker O&D

16. Creative Error Buster O&N&A


17. Creative Exhorter O&R&D
18. Creative Encourager O&N&R
19. Innovator O&A&D
20. Creative Accomplisher O&N&D
21. Creative Assessor O&A&R

22. Amiable Adaptor N&A&R


23. Resourceful Strategist N&A&D
24. Persuasive Decision Maker N&R&D
25. Energetic Strategist A&R&D
26. Versatile (High on 4 or 5 dimensions)

21
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Cherry the Creative Imaginator (O)


• Imaginative
• Curious
• Likes new things
• Different
• Easily bored
• Impulsive

22
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Nathan the Neutral Expert (N)


• Calm
• Nice
• Good listener
• Easygoing
• Easily hurt by others
• May lack confidence

23
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Ahmad the Analytical Thinker (A)


• Careful
• Cautious
• Accurate
• Likes to do things
correctly
• Worry easily
• May find it hard to
express emotions

24
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Ramona the Relator (R)


• Friendly
• Optimistic
• Fun
• Exciting person
• Talkative
• Easily restless

25
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

David the Decisive Decision Maker (D)

• Fast
• Decisive
• Result-oriented
• Confident
• Impatient
• Finds others slow

26
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

ONARD Profiles at a Glance

Instructions: Fill in the blanks with the words given below.

Leadership Security Caution Second Approval


Routine New Changes Calm Fun

Profile Tend to like … Tend to dislike … Motivated by…

Openness  Creativity  Routine  Imagination;


 Unusual events novel (new)
 ____ challenges situations

Neutral  _________  Unplanned  Acceptance;


 Stability ________ loyalty;
 Clearly defined __________
roles

Analytical  Precision  Risks  Accuracy;


 High standards internal mental
 ________ benchmarks

Relational  _______  ________ which  Recognition;


 Reach out to they perceive as _________;
others boring activities fun
 Opportunities to
inspire others

Decisive  Freedom  To be ________  Challenges;


 Challenges & in anything goals;
competitions achievements
 _________ roles

27
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

LPI Pyramid Model

OPENNESS

NEUTRAL

ANALYTICAL

RELATIONAL

DECISIVE

28
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Knowing one’s strengths and weaknesses

Introvert
NEUTRAL ANALYTICAL
 Cautious
 Good listeners  Diligent  Quiet and reserved
 Like to live in harmony  Tend to be indecisive  Like to be precise
 Easily hurt by others  Prefers to be a loner
PRIORITY
People Oriented CONFLICT
Task Oriented
OPENNESS
 Warm personality  Desire to be in control
 Share feelings easily  Creative
 Tend to be curious  Like to lead
 May not be a goal  Quite impatient with
setter  Easily bored
others

PACING
CONFLICT
Extravert
RELATIONAL DECISIVE
 Full of life and  Love challenges  Confident
excitement  Make friends easily  Like to win
 Inspire others  Not careful enough  May be too
 Tend to talk too much aggressive

29
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

LPI Holistic Model

Let’s
Explore
Openness

1. Neutral
Analytical
Relational
2.
Decisive

SPIRIT MIND BODY


Roh Akal Jasad
(PNEUMA) (PSUCHE) (SOMA)
Core Values Emotion, Intelligence, Will Power
(High EQ)

30
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

LPI Holistic Model

1. 2.

31
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Mini Case Studies

1. Creative Imaginator (O)

Cherry is a 44 year old interior decorator. She loves coming up with new and
original ideas. Often times it takes awhile for other people to understand her
ideas. Cherry especially enjoys assignments that require imagination and
creativity. She finds it boring to do the same thing again. Sometimes her
clients think her ideas are ―wild‖ and ―weird‖. Thankfully her assistants help
translate her strange ideas to clients in a way that they can understand.

Cherry is rather impatient with people telling her it‘s never been done this way
before!‖ She finds most people to be inflexible and not versatile in
approaching new situations. She finds it stifling having to get others to
understand and accept her ideas before she can implement them. As such,
she prefers to work alone rather than in teams. Outside of work, she enjoys
participating in artistic activities. Her friends are amazed at her seemingly
carefree and ―childlike‖ approach to life. Most of the time, she is not bothered
by what others think of her and her ideas.

Questions
a) Name 3 strengths of the Openness LPI Profile.

b) Name 3 weaknesses of the Openness LPI Profile.

c) Suggest 2 ways Cherry can enrich her interpersonal relationships with


others.

d) Suggest 2 ways you can work better (or flow) with Cherry.

e) Name 2 things which will make Cherry uncomfortable.

f) Name 2 steps Cherry can take to optimise her self-development.

g) Which 2 aspects of Openness behaviors would you like to develop in


yourself?

32
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

2. Neutral Expert (N)

Nathan, 38 years old, works as a Senior Executive in the Human Resource


Department. He likes people but appears to be rather reserved because he
needs time to adjust to the new people he meets. He tends to keep to himself
and has a habit of reflecting on past events. He does not like to lead others
but enjoys helping out behind the scenes. Nathan prefers not to speak in
public unless it is absolutely necessary. He avoids spearheading any changes
but is very supportive to direction from leadership.

Loyalty to his close friends, his family and his employer is highly important to
him. Close friends compliment him by saying that he is the nicest and most
patient person they have ever met. Nathan‘s colleagues are amazed at his
ability to do the same thing over and over again without getting bored. He
enjoys doing routine work as long as it follows a certain procedure and is not
dangerous. However, his superiors wish he would do things a little faster and
try out more productive methods of working. Often times, Nathan feels that
people tend to walk all over him but he is afraid to voice his dissatisfaction
because he does not like hurting their feelings and tries hard to avoid conflict.

Questions
a) Name 3 strengths of the Neutral LPI Profile.

b) Name 3 weaknesses of the Neutral LPI Profile.

c) Suggest 2 ways Nathan can enrich his interpersonal relationships with


others.

d) Suggest 2 ways you can work better (or flow) with Nathan.

e) Name 2 things which will make Nathan uncomfortable.

f) Name 2 steps Nathan can take to optimise his self-development.

g) Which 2 aspects of Neutral behaviors would you like to develop in yourself?

33
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

3. Analytical Thinker (A)

Ahmad is a 48 year old Manager in an accounting firm. He is in charge of 36


employees from 4 departments. He takes pride in his work and does his
utmost to keep it error-free. His superiors promoted him after noticing that he
produced thorough and high-quality work. They also admired his commitment
to his job as he would stay in the office till late at night every day, perfecting
his assignments. While his superiors appreciated his work, they did have
some reservations about his perfectionist tendency. Since Ahmad tended to
be exact, his work tends to be slower and he takes more time to make
decisions. He is also very sensitive to criticism of his near-perfect work.
People who work with him were many times frustrated with his affinity for
precision. They also blame him for creating too much red tape. Whenever
staff reports to him, he stresses that he wants the facts presented
systematically, clearly and logically. At times he would be so focused on
finishing a task that he would get highly irritated when staff wanted to speak to
him. His leadership reflects his internal standards and preferences. Ahmad is
extremely cautious when it comes to dealing with new ideas. He would
analyse the new ideas for a long time before implementing them.

Questions
a) Name 3 strengths of the Analytical LPI Profile.

b) Name 3 weaknesses of the Analytical LPI Profile.

c) Suggest 2 ways Ahmad can enrich his interpersonal relationships with


others.

d) Suggest 2 ways you can work better (or flow) with Ahmad.

e) Name 2 things which will make Ahmad uncomfortable.

f) Name 2 steps Ahmad can take to optimise his self-development.

g) Which 2 aspects of Analytical behaviors would you like to develop in


yourself?

34
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

4. Relational Interactor (R)

Ramona, 35 yrs old, is an Assistant Manager in the PR Department. Her boss


always assigns her with meeting clients because of her good socialising skills.
She loves the exhilaration of meeting people and making new friends.
Ramona‘s boss constantly tries to give her new tasks to keep her from getting
restless. She is imaginative and expresses her creativity by getting others to
contribute their ideas too. Her Company Director complimented her on her
good PR skills which brought a lot of publicity to the company. She was highly
motivated by all the admiration and praise she received.

There are some things her boss thinks she should improve on, such as being
punctual for meetings and being more attentive to the details presented during
a meeting. People who work with her advise her to allow clients to talk more
instead of running the whole show. At times she tends to be impulsive and
reacts based on feelings instead of intellect. Whenever Ramona implements a
new system, she consults as many of her staff as possible so that everyone is
happy with it. Friends tell her she is too conscious of others‘ opinions and
ought to move on with a task because she cannot please everyone.

Questions
a) Name 3 strengths of the Relational LPI Profile.

b) Name 3 weaknesses of the Relational LPI Profile.

c) Suggest 2 ways Ramona can enrich her interpersonal relationships with


others.

d) Suggest 2 ways you can work better (or flow) with Ramona.

e) Name 2 things which will make Ramona uncomfortable.

f) Name 2 steps Ramona can take to optimise her self-development.

g) Which 2 aspects of Relational behaviors would you like to develop in


yourself?

35
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

5. Decisive Decision Maker (D)

David is a 50 year old Senior Manager. Since his childhood, he has not had
much of a problem expressing his opinions even to the point of disagreeing
with authority figures. This earned him disfavor at times but he is not bothered
about what others think of him. He is very direct in dealing with people and is
not afraid of taking conflict head-on. Getting results are important to him and
he has no qualms about scolding others who do not put in enough effort.
David is constantly active at work and gets the job done fast. He enjoys
producing and implementing new and original ideas. His bravery, firmness
and confidence have resulted in him taking leadership positions wherever he
has been.

His employees complain of the heavy workload and the many difficulties they
face. But for David, those are the very things that make his adrenaline flow.
His spirit of competitiveness, goal-orientation and risk-taker attitude has
helped his department to yield unexpectedly great results. Due to his
frankness, he sometimes injures the feelings of those his colleagues and staff.
His superiors have advised him to be more considerate of the feelings and
views of others when he implements a new and original idea.

Questions
a) Name 3 strengths of the Decisive LPI Profile.

b) Name 3 weaknesses of the Decisive LPI Profile.

c) Suggest 2 ways David can enrich his interpersonal relationships with


others.

d) Suggest 2 ways you can work better (or flow) with David.

e) Name 2 things which will make David uncomfortable.

f) Name 2 steps David can take to optimise his self-development.

g) Which 2 aspects of Decisive behaviors would you like to develop in


yourself?

36
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

To enrich your interpersonal relationships with others, try to do the


following:

High Openness
 Be open to other's criticisms of your ideas and suggestions
 Be more realistic and not airy-fairy
 Give others a chance to announce and execute their plans
 Introduce opinions patiently and slowly
 Appreciate and humbly bear with others‘ activities and interests

High Neutral
 Say ―No‖ from the beginning
 Stand your ground don‘t give in
 Be selective as to whom you help and how much you offer
 Don‘t appear too eager to offer help
 Accept confrontation as part of life and healthy development

High Analytical
 Share your thoughts with others
 Learn to accept constructive criticism openly
 Share your responsibilities with others
 Speak up and comment on what others say
 Be more friendly, start with a greeting or a smile

High Relational
 Try talking less and listen to others more and concentrate
 Give others a chance to speak, don‘t interrupt
 Keep a diary of daily appointments – no one appreciates your
forgetfulness
 Stand your ground and do what is right regardless of others‘ opinions of
you
 Realize you can‘t please nor get along with everyone

High Decisive
 Realize that each one is different
 Learn to understanding others difficulties
 Humbly open up to others‘ ideas
 Admit your mistakes
 Say ‗sorry‘

37
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

To optimize self development:

Creative Imaginators need to learn Analytical Thinkers need to learn


how to … how to …
 Communicate their ideas to  Express their feelings
others  Become more approachable
 Be patient with formal  Make decisions more quickly
structures  Have more warmth in their
 Work along with others interactions with others
 Deal with inflexible people  Use eye contact in
 Be part of a team communicating with others
 Avoid the perception that they  Be less formal
are argumentative  Take calculated risks
 Respect and value others‘  Be more flexible
traditions
 Manage bureaucracy Relators need to learn how to …
 Be punctual
Neutral Experts need to learn how  Work alone
to …  Be more precise and accurate
 Cope with sudden changes in their communication
 Not to be too sensitive  Be less emotional
 Get out of their comfort zone  Think before they express an
 Take initiative when required opinion
 Deal with conflict situations  Be more realistic about life
 Not just wait for instructions  Not talk too much
 Be less possessive  Be more organized
 Share their emotions with
others

Decisives need to learn how to …


 Work with others in a team
 Listen to others
 Be more gentle with others
 Exercise patience
 Deal with slower people
 Be less competitive
 Sensitive to others feelings
 Work in a structure

38
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Maximizing Our Relationships With Others:

How to flow with Creative Imaginators (High Openness People)


 Allow them to express their creativity
 Do not stifle their originality
 Do not get threatened by their frank opinions
 Enable them to try new approaches in solving problems
 Tap on their ability to see things in a different way

How to flow with Neutral Experts (High Neutral People)


 Provide them with assurances about their performance
 Give them adequate time to prepare for changes
 Be very clear and detailed in your instructions
 Appreciate them for their support and loyalty
 Be sensitive to their feelings

How to flow with Analytical Thinkers (High Analytical People)


 Do not rush them for decisions
 Give them sufficient accurate information
 Be prepared for a cool and cautious response from them
 Provide a clear structure for them to work in
 Do not put them in the limelight

How to flow with Relators (High Relational People)


 Allow them opportunity to talk
 Be an interested audience
 Give due recognition of their abilities
 Appreciate their sense of humour
 Provide a fun atmosphere

How to flow with Decisives (High Decisive People)


 Give them opportunity to achieve results
 Provide a broad outline to them
 Keep conversations with them brief and factual
 Do not load them with too many details
 Let them make decisions where appropriate

39
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Realize that…..
Creative Imaginators (High Openness People) are uncomfortable
when……
 they are not allowed to express their creativity
 their originality is stifled
 their frank opinions are misunderstood
 faced with routine tasks
 encountering environments with too much emphasis on traditions

Neutral Experts (High Neutral People) are uncomfortable when……


 they are unsure if their performance is on par
 they do not have sufficient time to prepare for changes
 given vague instructions
 facing conflict situations
 their support is not appreciated

Analytical Thinkers (High Analytical People) are uncomfortable


when……
 they are rushed for decisions
 dealing with lack of accurate information
 dealing with aggressive people
 their cautious response is misunderstood
 there is no clear structure for them to work in

Relators (High Relational People) are uncomfortable when……


 too many details are required of them
 there is lack of recognition for their talent
 they encounter slow moving conversations
 people who are too formal and stiff
 they are not allowed to talk

Decisives (High Decisive People) are uncomfortable when……


 dealing with people who are slow
 they have no control over situations
 too much details is required of them
 faced with routine work
 things are not done on time

40
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Interpretations of LPI Printout

Identify the name of each personality profiles on the graph displayed and
answer the following questions.

1. 2.

100 99 91

50 55 50
40 30 40
20
O N A R D O N A R D

Profile name: Profile name:

Name 3 strengths: Name 3 strengths:


a) a)
b) b)
c) c)

Name 3 weaknesses: Name 3 weaknesses:


a) a)
b) b)
c) c)

Name 3 stressful things for this Name 3 stressful things for this
profile: profile:
a) a)
b) b)
c) c)

Name 3 self-improvement ways for Name 3 self-improvement ways for


this profile: this profile:
a) a)
b) b)
c) c)

Name 3 ways to work well with this Name 3 ways to work well with this
profile: profile:
a) a)
b) b)
c) c)

41
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

3. 4.

99 88 90 93
93
55 60
50 40
20
O N A R D
O N A R D

Profile name: Profile name:

Name 3 strengths: Name 3 strengths:


a) a)
b) b)
c) c)

Name 3 weaknesses: Name 3 weaknesses:


a) a)
b) b)
c) c)

Name 3 stressful things for this Name 3 stressful things for this
profile: profile:
a) a)
b) b)
c) c)

Name 3 self-improvement ways for Name 3 self-improvement ways for


this profile: this profile:
a) a)
b) b)
c) c)

Name 3 ways to work well with this Name 3 ways to work well with this
profile: profile:
a) a)
b) b)
c) c)

42
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

5. 6.

90 88 90
50 60 60
44 45
20 30

O N A R D O N A R D

Profile name: Profile name:

Name 3 strengths: Name 3 strengths:


a) a)
b) b)
c) c)

Name 3 weaknesses: Name 3 weaknesses:


a) a)
b) b)
c) c)

Name 3 stressful things for this Name 3 stressful things for this
profile: profile:
a) a)
b) b)
c) c)

Name 3 self-improvement ways for Name 3 self-improvement ways for


this profile: this profile:
a) a)
b) b)
c) c)

Name 3 ways to work well with this Name 3 ways to work well with this
profile: profile:
a) a)
b) b)
c) c)

43
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

MANAGING YOUR STRESS

Stress is defined as an internal response to a situation we find hard to handle

There are 3 ways to look at stress in our mind

 good stress which is also known as ―eustress‖. This exists as events which
gives us challenges

 bad stress which is also known as distress

 optimal stress (see below)

Optimal stress is a point where eustress


and

and distress are strong enough to


Optimal motivate and physically prepare us to
perform well and not strong enough to
performance

cause harm to the body.

Moderate
efficiency
Health,

Low

Low Best High


leadership
style is
STRESS

44
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Perception and Stress

Feel well (secure & significant)


At ease
Eustress (Challenge)

+ Perception

Pressure (event)
e.g. telephone call

- Perception

Distress
Disease
Feel unwell (easily insecure & loss of
significance)

45
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Perception and Stress

Feel well ( _______________ and ________________ )

At ___________

_____stress (Challenge)

Perception

Pressure (event)
e.g. telephone call

Perception

_____stress

_____________

Feel unwell (easily _____________

and loss of ________________ )

46
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Feel Good Hormones


Why use morphine in war?
Morphine addiction Two properties of morphine
caused by after effects a) manage pain
of Vietnam war b) morphine changes
perception hence can save
lives
Accidental discovery because looking
for answer to morphine addiction
problem in early 1970s

1975 discovery of feel


good hormones

Endorphins
What are they? ―Feel Good‖ hormones that act like natural morphines
which is produced by the pituitary gland in our brain and
causes a person to feel good/happy.

What do 1) Make us feel well (secure & significant)


endorphins do for 2) Builds up our immune system
us? 3) Helps us get accurate problem solving perception
4) Helps our bodies combat aches and pains

47
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

THE LPI HOLISTIC MODEL OF THE INDIVIDUAL

When our emotional needs are frustrated


Result is Psychosomatic Illness
(Psuche + Soma)
Psychology is
Logy (Knowledge) of Psuche (Soul)
Let’s
Explore
Creativity Openness

Stability Neutral
Accuracy Analytical

Recognition/Approval Relational
Need for Achievement Decisive
SPIRIT MIND BODY
Roh Akal Jasad
(PNEUMA) (PSUCHE) (SOMA)
Core Values (High EQ) Emotion, Intelligence, Will Power

When the Mind (psuche) is stressed, the body (soma) can get affected. This
can result in psychosomatic sicknesses such as
1. migraines,
2. hypertension,
3. cardiovascular disease,
4. gastrointestinal problems such as ulcers and
5. allergies

48
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Feel Good Hormones

Why use ___________ in war?


___________ addiction caused by
Two properties of _____________
after effect of ___________ _____
a) _________________________

b) _________________________

_________________________

Accidental discovery because

looking for answer to ___________

__________ problem in early 1970s

1975 discovery of

_________ _________ hormones

49
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Consequences of low EQ to effectiveness

happy

self-actualisation

slightly - Self-pity
neurotic +
Thankfulness disappointed
depressed

very depressed

suicidal
psychotic mad
(insanity)

50
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Releasing endorphins for wellness in our body, mind and


spirit

S_________________ & T________________ Chart

happy

slightly
+ -
neurotic

psychotic
(insanity)

Endorphins : What are they?


Endorphins are _____________ ____________

What does endorphins do for us? How do you release your


endorphins?

1)
1)
2)
2)
3)
4)

51
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

1. LPI Holistic Model: Action Plan

T
E Lon Short-term
end g-term endorphins
orp
N
h in 1. Cardiovascular
s
circulatory system

T
(blood)
2. Lymphatic circulatory
system (lymph carrying
Endorphins immune system)

SPIRIT MIND BODY


1. Make us feel well Positives (+)
2. Build up our
immune system
3. Accurate problem
solving perception

Negatives (-)

52
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

2. LPI Holistic Model: Action Plan

T
E Lon Short-term
end g-term endorphins
orp
N
h in 1. Cardiovascular
s
circulatory system

T
(blood)
2. Lymphatic circulatory
system (lymph carrying
Endorphins immune system)

SPIRIT MIND BODY


1. Make us feel well Positives (+)
2. Build up our  Exercise (minimum 3x
immune system a week)
3. Accurate problem  Fruits
solving perception  Vegetables
 Fish with scales & fins

Negatives (-)

53
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

3. LPI Holistic Model: Action Plan

T
E Lon Short-term
end g-term endorphins
orp
N
h in 1. Cardiovascular
s
circulatory system

T
(blood)
2. Lymphatic circulatory
system (lymph carrying
Endorphins immune system)

SPIRIT MIND BODY


1. Make us feel well Positives (+)
2. Build up our  Exercise (minimum 3x
immune system a week)
3. Accurate problem  Fruits
solving perception  Vegetables
 Fish with scales & fins

Negatives (-)
 Reduce/eliminate
sucrose
 No animal fats
 No animal blood
 No sea cockroach
 No scavenger animal
meat

54
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Endorphins
What are they? ―Feel Good‖ hormones that act like natural morphines
which is produced by the pituitary gland in our brain and
causes a person to feel good/happy.

What do Make us feel well (secure & significant)


endorphins do for Builds up our immune system
us? Helps us get accurate problem solving perception
Helps our bodies combat aches and pains

How do you Exercise


release your Practicing Thankfulness
endorphins?

State 5 steps you can take to reduce bad stress in your life at work and at
home

1 ______________________________________________________

2 _______________________________________________________

3 _______________________________________________________

4 _______________________________________________________

5 ________________________________________________________

55
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Case study: Barb Guerra


Discussion Questions

1.
a) Do you think Barb is an Emotionally Excellent individual?

b) List 3 reasons for your answer

2. List three steps which Barb‘s parents may have taken which would have
helped Barb to cope with her setbacks in life?

3. State three things you can learn from Barb‘s success in being able to get
her driving license.

4. In the scene in which Barb goes shopping, name two lessons you can
learn from her behavior which can help you in your life?

5. Suggest three important lessons you can learn from Barb‘s life as a
parent?

56
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Removing emotional blindspots

Dad who killed kids had history of depression


By Lee Shi-Ian and Alang Bendahara

New Straits Times, 16 February, 2007


KUALA LUMPUR: He had a history of depression, was jobless for a long time and
did not want his children to suffer the same fate. And this was why, according to a
suicide note left by Lee Tiang Siang, he decided to kill his children before he took his
own life.

While family members were trying to come to terms with the tragedy, police
investigations revealed that Lee, 39, had been undergoing psychiatric treatment for
depression since he returned from New Zealand in 2002. He had gone there to do a
doctorate but returned without completing the course.

Lee had been unable to hold a permanent job over the past five years. He was last
known to be working in a real estate firm but could not hold on to that job. Police
believe that on Wednesday evening, Lee‘s mind snapped. He strangled his daughter,
Lee Mei Shen, 10, and suffocated his son, Lee Wei Shen, 9.

After killing his children, Lee committed suicide by consuming a mixture of bleach
and floor cleaner. In his letter, Lee had stated that he was deeply affected by his
failure to secure a permanent job and to be a more responsible father and husband.
He had tried several jobs but things did not turn out well, putting additional financial
pressure on his wife, who worked as an insurance agent. It is learnt that his wife‘s
father helped the family out financially, further depressing Lee, who felt useless and a
burden to his family.

"I overheard the couple having an argument yesterday and angry words were
exchanged, including claims that the husband could not even support the family," a
family friend claimed.

The man, who declined to be identified, said he had known Lee for about seven
years and he was a quiet type but friendly. Commenting on the tragedy, the family
friend said Lee‘s wife brought the children home from school and an argument
ensued not long after. The wife then stormed out of the Villa Angsana condominium
unit in Jalan Ipoh and went to her father‘s house nearby, he said.

When the wife returned later, she heard cries. As she did not have the house keys,
she sought the help of security guards to break into the unit. The children‘s bodies
were in the master bedroom while her husband‘s body was in the attached bathroom.

Neighbour Tham Yew Ming, 81, described the family as quiet and friendly. "I did not
hear them arguing much or scolding the children. But then again, I do not see them
often as I leave the house early in the morning," he said.

A post-mortem at the Kuala Lumpur Hospital revealed Mei Shen was strangled to
death while Wei Shen died of suffocation. Lee‘s father and brother were at the
mortuary to make funeral arrangements. Police have classified the case as murder-
cum-suicide.

57
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Discussion

1. In your opinion, what were the reasons for Lee‘s depression?

2. In which stage of the Self-Pity & Thankfulness chart would you place Lee‘s
emotional mood?

3. Describe Lee‘s inner dialogue (self-talk) just before he killed his children?

4. If you could have spoken to Lee before this tragedy, what would have
been your advice to him so he could begin to handle his problems?

58
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Case Study: Two fizzy drinks a day increase risk of pancreatic cancer by
90 per cent

Sourced from: Daily Mail, 9th November 2006

Consuming two cans of fizzy drinks a day can double your


risk of developing one of the most fatal types of cancer, say
researchers.

People who add sugar to cups of tea or coffee are also at


higher risk of pancreatic cancer, according to a new study.

Swedish researchers blame a heavy intake of sweetened


foods and drinks for increasing the chances of developing
one of the most lethal cancers.

Almost all the 7,000 people who get pancreatic cancer


annually in the UK die shortly after diagnosis, partly because
the symptoms are spotted too late.

Tumours are also hard to detect because the pancreas is buried deep in the body.

Only two per cent of patients are alive five years after first being treated, although
surgery followed by chemotherapy can increase survival rates.

In the new study, published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition drinking two
or more fizzy drinks each day was linked to a 90 per cent extra risk of pancreatic
cancer compared with people who never drank them.

Dr Susanna Larsson, of the department of environmental medicine at the Karolinska


Institute, Stockholm, said more information about the causes was vital to beat the
disease.

She said 'It is perhaps the most serious form of cancer, with very poor prognoses for
its victims. 'Since it's difficult to treat and is often discovered too late, it's particularly
important that we learn to prevent it.'

Researchers ran a dietary survey in 1997 when they questioned almost 80,000 men
and women aged 45 to 83 years about the foods and drinks they consumed.

The group was monitored until June 2005, when it was found that 131 people had
died of cancer of the pancreas.

The researchers found the risk of developing the disease was related to the amount
of sugar in the diet.

Most at risk were those who drank high quantities of fizzy or syrup based drinks twice
or more a day, who had a 90 per cent raised risk of developing the cancer.

People who added sugar to food and drinks at least five times a day ran a 70 per
cent extra risk compared with those who did not.

59
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

People who ate creamed fruit - a product in Sweden resembling runny jam - at least
once a day also ran a 50 per cent higher risk than those not eating this kind of
dessert.

Dr Larsson said higher sugar intake was probably responsible.

She said 'We think it's to do with insulin. If you eat and drink more sugary food it
increases your blood sugar levels which affects the amount of work the pancreas has
to do.

"It could stimulate growth of the pancreas and this could lead to cancer.'

She said smoking was one of the biggest triggers for pancreatic cancer.

In the UK there has been a five per cent drop in pancreatic cancer cases which is
thought to be linked to a drop in smoking.

But Dr Larsson said it was possible that a drop in smoking had masked a rise in
consumption of fizzy drinks and sugary foods generally in recent years.

'The rise in the amount of soft drinks consumed could offset some of the fall in cases
we would expect because fewer people are smoking' she added.

'The best advice we can offer is for people, especially children, to restrict their
consumption of sugary foods and drinks' she said.

Doctors already warn women in particular to restrict the amount of some fizzy drinks
they consume because it makes their bones weaker, probably due to phosphoric acid
which is found in cola.

The study did not distinguish between different types of fizzy drinks - looking at only
those with added sugar, or syrup-based or squash drinks with added sugar.

Henry Scowcroft, science information officer at Cancer Research UK, said 'The latest
figures show that pancreatic cancer rates fell by five per cent between 1997 and
2003.

'But this is probably because more people are giving up smoking which is the major
established cause of the disease. 'We know that a person's diet has a significant
effect on their risk of several types of cancer including pancreatic cancer.

'This report highlights the need for further research to understand the specific effect
of sugar intake on pancreatic cancer risk.'

60
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Discussion

1. The fizzy drink alone is possibly not the sole determinative factor of the
incidence of disease. The drinks reveal a lifestyle pattern that may be
contributing factors. Discuss.

2. ―You are what you eat.‖ Discuss.

3. How does the sugar in fizzy drinks differ from sugar in fruits/rice/grains?

4. Is there any other food that we consume regularly which may contain
hidden artificial sugar?

5. How can you reduce or cut off intake of refined sugar into your body?

61
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Answers to mini case studies

1. Openness

Name 3 strengths of the Openness LPI Profile.


 Likes to try original approaches
 Enjoys artistic activities
 Has a strong imagination

Name 3 weaknesses of the Openness LPI Profile.


 Easily bored
 Tends to argue with others
 Finds working in teams too much of a bother

Suggest 2 ways Cherry can enrich her interpersonal relationships with others.
 Be open to other's criticisms of your ideas and suggestions
 Be more realistic
 Introduce opinions patiently and slowly

Suggest 2 ways you can work better (or flow) with Cherry.
 Allow them to express their creativity
 Do not stifle their originality
 Do not get threatened by their frank opinions

Name 2 things which will make Cherry uncomfortable.


 Not allowed to express her creativity
 Faced with routine tasks
 Encountering environments with too much emphasis on traditions

Name 2 steps Cherry can take to optimise her self-development.


 Communicate their ideas to others
 Be patient with formal structures

2. Neutral

Name 3 strengths of the Neutral LPI Profile.


 Supportive of others
 Loyal
 Tries to live in harmony with others

Name 3 weaknesses of the Neutral LPI Profile.


 Lacks self-confidence
 Shrinks from difficult situations
 Needs acceptance from others

Suggest 2 ways Nathan can enrich his interpersonal relationships with others.
 Be selective as to whom you help and how much you offer
 Accept confrontation as part of life and healthy development
62
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Suggest 2 ways you can work better (or flow) with Nathan.
 Appreciate them for their support and loyalty
 Give him adequate time to prepare for changes

Name 2 things which will make Nathan uncomfortable.


 Insufficient time to prepare for changes
 His support is not appreciated

Name 2 steps Nathan can take to optimise his self-development.


 Not to be too sensitive
 Share his emotions with others

3. Analytical

Name 3 strengths of the Analytical LPI Profile.


 Conscientious
 Quiet and reserved
 Likes to be precise

Name 3 weaknesses of the Analytical LPI Profile.


 Rather slow to respond to new ideas
 Loner
 Easily hurt by criticisms from others

Suggest 2 ways Ahmad can enrich his interpersonal relationships with others.
 Learn to accept constructive criticism openly
 Be more friendly, start with a greeting or a smile

Suggest 2 ways you can work better (or flow) with Ahmad.
 Give them sufficient accurate information
 Be prepared for a cool and cautious response from them

Name 2 things which will make Ahmad uncomfortable.


 Rushed for decisions
 Dealing with lack of accurate information

Name 2 steps Ahmad can take to optimise his self-development.


 Be more flexible
 Make decisions more quickly

4. Relational

Name 3 strengths of the Relational LPI Profile.


 Enjoys talking with others
 Persuasive
 Makes friends easily

63
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Name 3 weaknesses of the Relational LPI Profile.


 Restless, always seeking for new fun-filled activities
 Tends to talk too much
 Can be too emotional

Suggest 2 ways Ramona can enrich her interpersonal relationships with


others.
 Give others a chance to speak, don‘t interrupt
 Keep a diary of daily appointments

Suggest 2 ways you can work better (or flow) with Ramona.
 Allow them opportunity to talk
 Be an interested audience

Name 2 things which will make Ramona uncomfortable.


 Too many details are required of them
 There is lack of recognition for her talent

Name 2 steps Ramona can take to optimise her self-development.


 Be punctual
 Be more precise and accurate in their communication

5. Decisive

Name 3 strengths of the Decisive LPI Profile.


 Desires quick results
 Competitive
 Likes to win

Name 3 weaknesses of the Decisive LPI Profile.


 Easily impatient with others
 Tends to be stubborn
 Too aggressive

Suggest 2 ways David can enrich his interpersonal relationships with others.
 Learn to understand others‘ difficulties
 Humbly open up to others‘ ideas

Suggest 2 ways you can work better (or flow) with David.
 Give them opportunity to achieve results
 Keep conversations with them brief and factual

Name 2 things which will make David uncomfortable.


 Dealing with people who are slow
 No control over situations

Name 2 steps David can take to optimise his self-development.


 Listen to others
64
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

 Exercise patience

65
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

LPI SEEK Creative Process

Search (O & D behaviours)


Excite (R behaviours)
Exact (A behaviours)
Keep (N behaviours)

Principle of moderate novelty =

__________________ not threatened plus

__________________ achievable

Endorphins are released when conditions above are achieved

66
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

YOUR BRAIN

Reading Music

Writing
Art

Arithmetic
Spatial
intelligence
Algebra

Imagination
Logical
reasoning

Left brain Right brain


 Mainly handles sequential,  More creative and associative
mathematical, and logical in the way it works.
issues.  Metaphorical interpretation.
 Literal interpretation.  Source of intuition and
 More logical and rational. imagination.
 Makes judgments and rely on  Playful and likes to take great
the intellect. leaps of thought.
 Likes to do things one at a time  Enjoys creating new patterns
and plays by the rules. and solutions.

67
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

CASE STUDY OF EMOTIONALLY EXCELLENT LEADERSHIP: MAXIMUS

1. Why did Maximus ask the question ‗Any one of you have been in the army
before‖?

He was practicing N___ - A_________

N____ - A __________ requires two steps:

a) A___________ who may get alienated

b) I________ participation from those who may get alienated

2. Selfish people _________________________________________

3. Maximus gives the instruction ―Come together!‖

a) What LPI behaviour is this? _________________ behaviour

b) Is his behaviour appropriate? ___________________

4. When Maximus says ―Well done‖ …


a) What LPI behaviour is this ___________

b) What is the lesson we can learn from this?

__________________________________________________________

5. In a crisis, a leader has to use ___________________________


behaviour (_ _ _ )
68
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

6. Haken makes a mistake and we can learn that

a) Low EQ Leaders tend to be f_______ f____________ whereas

b) High EQ Leaders attempt to s______ t_____ p_________

7. a) High EQ Leader Maximus‘ attitude and behaviour in solving this


problem is s __________________

b) His helpful behaviour is the LPI ____________ behaviour

c) Whenever we use _______________ behaviour to help others, we


need to ___________________ the other person otherwise we may suffer
__________________

8. High EE Leaders give c_________ i____________ (_ _) behaviour and


are p _____________

9. High EE Leaders _________________________ team members get the


______________________ whereas Low EE Leaders ______________
all the ___________________

10. High EE teamwork : Juba s________________ Maximus‘ need and


voluntarily help to solve the problem

11. When team members do well and are successful, we need to help them
___________________ their success.

69
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Emotional Excellence In Decision Making

SPIRIT MIND BODY

(PNEUMA) (PSUCHE) (SOMA)

Conscience Consequences Convenience


+
Convictions

Principles People Profits

70
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Learning points from instructional videos

71
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Psychology of
Leadership

72
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Theories of leadership

Summary of Leadership Approaches

Komives, Lucas, and McMahon (1998, p. 70-72) developed an informative


chart listing several leadership theories and their major assumptions and
major criticism.

Approach Time Major Assumptions Major Criticisms


Period
Great Man mid  Leadership  Scientific research has not
1800s - development is based proved that leadership is
early on Darwinistic principles based on hereditary factors
1900s
 Leaders are born, not  Leadership was believed to
made exist only in a few elite
individuals
 Leaders have natural
abilities of power and
influence
Trait 1907-  A leader has superior or  The situation is not
1947 endowed qualities considered in this approach

 Certain individuals  Many traits are too obscure


possess a natural ability or abstract to measure and
to lead observe

 Leaders have traits  Studies have not adequately


which differentiate them linked traits with leadership
from followers effectiveness

 Most trait studies omit


leadership behaviors and
followers' motivation as
mediating variables
Behavioral 1950s-  There is one best way  Situational variables and
1960s to lead group processes ignored;
studies failed to identify the
 Leaders who express situations where specific
high concern for both types of leadership
people and production behaviors are relevant
or consideration and
structure will be
effective

73
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Situational 1950s-  Leaders act  Most contingency theories


early differently depending are ambiguous, making it
Contingency 1980s on the situation difficult to formulate specific,
testable propositions
 The situation
determines who will  Theories lack accurate
emerge as a leader measures

 Different leadership
behaviors are
required for different
situations
Influence mid Leadership is an More research needed on effect
1920- influence or social charisma has on the leader-
1977 exchange process follower interaction
Reciprocal 1978 -  Leadership is a  Lack of research
present relational process
 Further clarification needed
 leadership is a on similarities and
shared process differences between
charismatic and transforming
 Emphasis on leadership
followership
 Processes of collaboration,
change, and empowerment
are difficult to achieve and
measure

Evolving Models of Leadership

The following chart shows the evolution of leadership theories:

Ancient Traditional Modern Future


Idea Domination Influence Common Reciprocal
goals relations
Action Command Motivating Inner Meaning
Followers commitment making
Focus Power Interpersonal Self Interactions of
skills knowledge group

74
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Case Study: Rick Pitino, The Leader

Back in 1990 the men's basketball team of the University of Kentucky, the
Wildcats, was experiencing rough times. The team had received a two-year
suspension from tournament competition and was banned from television
While the NCAA investigated alleged recruiting violations. Several key players
transferred, team morale and player confidence sank. To improve this
situation, university officials hired Rick Pitino as the new head coach. Pitino
had received credit for impressive turnarounds at Boston University, at
Providence College and with the New York Knicks. Now he turned his
attention to Kentucky. After studying the situation briefly, Pitino said he would
teach team members to win.

Reggie Hanson, one of the Kentucky players, recalls that the team
began its comeback the moment the new coach spoke. ―People tell me you
can't play," prodded Pitino. ―They say you don't have enough talent, that it
would take me five or six years to get a winning program. But I don‘t believe
that. If you stick with me, I guarantee that you'll be better than what you
expect and what people expect."

To get players to share his enthusiasm, Pitino relies on hard work. He


explains, however, that "hard work itself is not the key to success. The key is
to get people to like working hard. Some coaches get their players to work by
browbeating and intimidating them. The only way to get people to like working
hard is to motivate them. Today, they must understand why they're working so
hard." Pitino himself works hard, getting up before sunrise, shooting baskets,
working on his game plans, and meeting with his staff:

Pitino emphasizes teamwork both on and off the court. He told his
players that they would have to begin communicating with one another. In
Pitino's view, the teamwork that takes place on the court results from players
being deeply committed to working together in their lives. As he helped the
Wildcats make a comeback, Pitino checked over downtown Lexington,
Kentucky. Seeing quiet streets and no bustling restaurants, his verdict was
that what the town needed was a good, East Coast-style Italian bistro. Shortly
thereafter, a new restaurant emerged. It became an immediate success with
sell-out crowds and long lists for reservations. Pitino ran the restaurant for
several years before he sold it to concentrate on other interests. He managed
the restaurant in the same style he manages basketball teams. He recruited
top talent because he persuaded people that he would help them reach their
potential. He attended staff meetings regularly, and praised everyone from
dishwashers to the maitre d'.

Colleagues think Pitino is a nice guy to be around when the game clock
is not running. "When he steps off the court, he's a completely different
person," said Bernadette Locke-Mattox, one of his assistant coaches. "He's a
caring, giving individual. He loves his family and team. His players are like his
children."

75
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Pitino is hired frequently as a motivational speaker by business firms.


He believes that his style of coaching and motivating applies equally well to
business. The way to motivate a sales representative, for example, is to tell
him or her, "I know you've got the potential to get the job done." This is much
better than threatening the sales rep with being fired if the quota is not
reached.

By the start of the 1995-96 season, the Wildcats were back to regularly
ranking in the top ten. In the 1993-1994 season, for example, the team record
was 30-4. Pitino had accomplished his goal of returning the team to consistent
prominence. And in 1996 Pitino reached a milestone in his career when the
Kentucky Wildcats beat the Syracuse Orangemen for the NCAA men‘s
basketball championship.

Source: Based on facts in Michael Maren, "Win!" Success (April 1992): 36-41; Gary Falleson, "Pitino
Always Up to the Challenge,” Rochester Democrat & Chronicle (12 February 1994): 6D.

CASE QUESTIONS

1. How would you characterize Pitino's leadership style?

2. What leadership traits and practices does Pitino demonstrate?

76
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Importance of self-concept

Self-concept describes how we see ourselves in the world. It can range from
very high to very low.

1) Our self concept is shaped by our experiences.

Successful experiences such as doing well on a test raise our self concept.

Experiences where we deal with failure lower our self-concept.

These experiences produce strong emotional reactions that are stored in


the brain. The emotional cues are often so strong that we often re-
experience the emotion each time we think of the event.

2) Some aspects of our self-concept are stable for years; other aspects
change almost moment to moment.

For instance, most of us immediately feel "stupid" after failing a test or


making a foolish comment.

We may feel attractive at one time and unattractive a little later.

Each of us also has public selves (several may be used to manage one's
image as presented to others) and private selves.

3) One's self-concept may mostly mirror other people's opinions or only


one's self-evaluation.

Your self-concept may largely reflect the dictates of a culture, religious


teachings, family tradition, or you can create a unique personality based
on your own ideals.

The self-concept is probably primarily learned or acquired, but basic


tendencies, such as to like or dislike others or one's self, might be
inherited as well.

77
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Changing our self-concept and building self-esteem

STEP ONE:
Recognize the internal critic and realize what pain the critic helps you
avoid.

A low self-concept may be responsible for defeatist "giving up" or for


obsessive workaholic behavior. A negative self-concept may result in constant
self-put-downs or in constantly trying to prove one's superiority.

The person with low self-esteem may be over-attentive, giving and solicitous,
believing that no one will like him/her unless he/she is super nice, or he/she
may be hostile and offensive, rejecting the other person first.

Exercise:

Try to figure out the background and purpose of each of your critical thoughts.

 Does the negative thought yield a pay off?

 What does this fault keep you from doing?

 Does it help you avoid or reduce some other feeling, such as fear or
anxiety or guilt or anger?

 Does the criticism help you accomplish something or to feel better


because you had high standards or criticized yourself?

 What would happen if you didn't have this negative thought or trait?

Keeping a diary of these thoughts should give you some explanations of how
your internal critic got so strong by serving certain purposes.

78
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

STEP TWO:
Challenge the internal critic. Then use healthier ways of achieving the
critic's purposes.

Check out the accuracy of each critical thought. What is the objective
evidence?

If you see that the internal critic has been overly critical or exaggerated your
fault and if you understand what payoffs the critic is getting, you are better
able to discount what he/she says. Then, you will feel better.

STEP THREE:
Do an accurate self-assessment. List your positive and negative traits.

The people who emphasize their bad points and failings need to focus on their
assets and positive traits.

STEP FOUR:
Have the serenity to accept the things that can't be changed:
Understand and accept your permanent weaknesses; accept the past.

1) Be sure you have the fault being considered.

 Would others agree that you have the negative trait?

 Are you sure you aren't exaggerating it?

2) Be sure it can't be changed.

Remember any learned trait can theoretically be unlearned, even though


"you can't change the past."

 Was your negative trait modeled and/or reinforced by a parent?

 Was it developed as a way of coping in the family?

All of these kinds of "faults" are correctable. Some people do lose weight
after years of over-eating; "hot heads" do learn to control their tempers. It's
possible.

79
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

3) Be sure you don't confuse an unchangeable cause with an unchangeable


trait.

You may be stuck forever with critical parents, mean siblings, and/or
rejecting peers in your past, which contributed to your low self-esteem, but
you may be able to reject those old judgments by others and learn to judge
yourself more favorably.

You may have had other childhood traumas--deformity, poverty, illness, a


learning disorder, etc.--which contributed to your self-doubts and low self-
esteem. You can't change these facts of life. But you can change how you
view or feel about these facts. You can still overcome these handicaps and
learn to evaluate yourself fairly and constructively.

4) There may be some of your characteristics that can't be changed.

Example: height, body build, facial and physical features, lack of abilities or
talents, some diseases, and perhaps mental illness.

You can "forget about" the things that can't be changed or you can look at
them differently, such as accept them or make up for them.

Quite often, you may realize your negative physical trait can be changed
but it just isn't worth the effort. That may be a reasonable decision; if so,
put the matter behind you.

http://mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap14/chap14c.htm

80
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Understanding personality styles

LPI Holistic Model

Let’s
Explore
Healthy Fun Creativity Openness
Social-Emotional
Security
Stability/Security Neutral
- To be accepted
- To belong Accuracy Analytical

Significance Recognition/Approval Relational


- I am important
- I add value Need for Achievement Decisive
SPIRIT MIND BODY
Roh Akal Jasad
(PNEUMA) (PSUCHE) (SOMA)
Core Values (High EQ) Emotion, Intelligence, Will Power

81
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Two basic human needs

2 Basic Human Needs

Need for Social-Emotional


Need for Inner Significance
Security
The need to feel that we are
To feel that one really belongs
important to others and that we
in the relationship that we‘re in
add value to others in our
and that others accept us.
relationships with others.

What are these individuals able to do?

Internally secure and Insecure individuals and


significant individuals those who lack significance

They are more open to new ideas. They are not as motivated.
They respond more creatively They display negative aspects of LPI
towards challenges. behaviours like passiveness and
aggression.

What is the third need of human?


The third need of every human is the need for healthy enjoyment in all that we
do. This can only be fulfilled when the first two needs are met.

82
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

DEFICIT MOTIVATION
How do these individuals display deficit motivation?

Introverts ( N & A ) Extraverts ( D, R & O )


They passively withdraw from issues They display aggressive behaviours
by showing their ―nice‖ exteriors. like irritation, impatience or shouting
They usually do not confront reality or as ways to gain significance by trying
do not muster much confidence in to dominate others.
themselves.

ABUNDANCE MOTIVATION
Who are those with abundance motivation?
Individuals who have inner significance and security manage to overcome
negative behaviours.

These are the people who are able to develop themselves into becoming
emotional excellent individuals.

83
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Optimizing our personality strengths

Understanding and managing our behaviors


Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)

1. Thoughts Can be
controlled by us
2. Actions directly

3. Feelings Cannot be controlled


directly but is affected
4. Physiology by the thoughts &
actions

84
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

LPI Holistic Model: Three Functions of the Pneuma

How to strengthen the pneuma:


T - Thanksgiving attitude
E - Enjoy our work & live in obedience to our conscience
N - No coincidences in our lives
T - Thankfulness to God

 What does the TENT Therapy do?


The TENT Therapy
The TENT Therapy protects the spirit and mind from the elements of the
outside world. If the individual‘s spiritual tent is strong, he can withstand the
pressures from the external world better. In fact, he is in a better position to
handle the sudden changes that he may encounter.

 Why is the TENT Therapy unique?


The TENT Therapy is unique because
The TENT Therapy is unique because not only is it different from other
therapies, it is drawn with the knowledge that an individual comprises of spirit,
mind and body.

 How do we set up the TENT Therapy?

( Thanksgiving Attitude )
Recall a pleasant memory and dwell on it. This allows you to switch on to
T a positive mood. Make the memory brighter, clearer and bigger. Also
make any sounds associated with the memory to be louder.
( Enjoy the Now as Your Conscience Permits )
Enjoy the present moment in a genuine way as it enriches the spirit. A
E healthy mind leads to a healthy spirit. Think of now as a gift from God that
we should be grateful of. There is no need to be fearful of the future.
( No Coincidence )
Life has no coincidence or accidents. It is important to accept and move
N on when a negative event occurs. The past and negative memories
should be let go.
( Thankfulness to Creator God )
Declare joyfully in our hearts our gratefulness to Creator God for the
T blessings of our health and our loved ones.

What are the 3 main benefits of practicing TENT


1) Royal relationship with Creator God
2) Reconciliation with enemies
3) Recompense others more readily

85
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Relationship between the spirit, mind and body.


An individual can exercise thankfulness if he complies with the two LPI
principle of life. The two principles of life are:

1st principle of life:


Nothing in this universe can exist for itself

2nd principle of life:


Happiness is a guaranteed byproduct of
complying with 1st Principle.

EE Practices to Enhance the Pneuma

A) Honest transparent relationship with creator God (authenticity)


Get security & significance from relationship with creator

B) Rest within; rest for soul and rest for body (resilience; intentionality)
Loyalty to family, corporate mission, friends

C) Dealing with others (interpersonal connections)


• Recognize the burden of authority (support authority) and respect
authority over us
• No resentment and unforgiveness against others (constructive
discontent)
• Watch for envy & jealousy; do not covet others possessions
• Honest dealing with others (trustworthiness)

86
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Relationship between the pneuma, psuche and soma

An individual can exercise thankfulness if he complies with the two LPI


principle of life. The two principles of life are:

1st Principle of Life:

2nd Principle of Life:

87
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

HIGH AND LOW EE LIVING

Low EE Living High EE Living

SOMA
PNEUMA

PSUCHE
unstable
(agitated) PSUCHE
stable
(calm)

PNEUMA
SOMA

Low EE High EE

1. Focus on self. 1. Focus on a clear and


2. Starts with feeling of self – pity. meaningful mission other than
3. Symptoms of self–pity include self
jealousy and envy. 2. Practices thankfulness.
4. Regret is another symptom of 3. Complies with the 2 principles of
self – pity. life
4. Has a clear mission in life and
work and the mission is not self-
centred

88
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

High and Low EE living

1. What does the 1st principle of life ―Nothing in this Universe Can Exist for
Itself‖ mean to you?

2. What does the 2nd principle of life ―Happiness Cannot be an End-Product‖


mean to you?

EE Practices to Enhance the Pneuma

B) Honest transparent relationship with creator God (authenticity)


Get security & significance from relationship with creator

B) Rest within; rest for soul and rest for body (resilience; intentionality)
Loyalty to family, corporate mission, friends

C) Dealing with others (interpersonal connections)


• Recognize the burden of authority (support authority) and respect
authority over us
• No resentment and unforgiveness against others (constructive
discontent)
• Watch for envy & jealousy; do not covet others possessions
• Honest dealing with others (trustworthiness)

89
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

CASE STUDY OF NICK

Discussion Questions

1. a) Do you think Nick is an Emotionally Excellent individual?

b) List 3 reasons for your answer

2. List three steps which Nick‘s parents may have taken which would have
helped Nick to cope with his setbacks in life?

3. State three things you can learn from Nick‘s success in being able to move
around on his own without someone to push him?

4. Name two lessons you can learn from Nick‘s ability to do tasks such as
combing and shaving himself as well as to brush his teeth without
assistance from others?

5. Suggest three important lessons you can learn from Nick‘s ability to swim?

6. List two ways in which Nick‘s life shows an individual who lives according
to the two principles of life.

90
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Case Study: Emotionally Excellent Leadership


Comparing and Contrasting High EE & Low EE Leadership

1. As the single lighted arrow was shot up to signal that all parties in the army
need to flow together, so too we need to __________________________

_______________________________________

2. Just as the attack was only i when all the arrows were shot together, our
corporate plans can only be effective if ____________________________

___________________________________________________________

3. Stay with me: His message to his team was


___________________________________________________________

4. The large shields help them protect one another because they trusted one
another.

We need to C_______________ T _______________ in our team

5. Trust = C _______________ and C ______________

6. The sword that was lost teaches us that an emotionally excellent leader
always has a __________________ ______________________

7. Maximus is under attack and is highly stressed but still can smile at his
soldier team member after being bumped by the soldier

We learn that we need to F ___________ and F ____________

8. Even as the High EE Leader slogs in the battlefield, the LOW EE Leader
comes 19 days late for the battle. Why? __________________________

9. Comodus‘ incessant scheming teaches that


Low EE leaders are constantly planning for their S________ P

10. ―He will name me‖ shows us that Low EE Leaders are S______ -C_____

91
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

11. Unknown soldier says ―They have been gone 19 days‖ with his mouth.
From his heart he is telling his leader ―___________________________‖

12. Low EE Leaders cannot hear the cry of the followers because

___________________________________________________________

13. Low EE Leaders make followers D____________ with their leader.

14. Even though he is now the commanding general of a victorious army,


Maximus did not look happy. Why?

High EE Leaders are more concerned for their F_____________

W _______________ rather than their own achievements

15. Maximus picks up old sword stuck on tree. Why?

High EE Leaders do not W________ R__________

16. Why did Emperor Marcus trust Maximus enough to allow Maximus to take
the salute?
Because high EE leaders are T ________________

17. Comodus rushes forward to share in the credit.


Low EE Leaders desire ___________ even though they do not want to
share in the ________________

18. Comodus says ―Have I missed it‖?


Low EE Leaders are H________________ (M ____________)

19. Comodus says ―I shall sacrifice a 100 bulls to honor your triumph‖.
Low EE Leaders display fake or C_______________ Loyalty
We need to check our hearts so we do not show only C_________ Loyalty
to
a) our company
b) our home
c) our country
d) our highest reference point which is our C________ G_____

92
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

20. Emperor Marcus says ―Honor Maximus‖.


Comodus feels jealous and envious because he thinks Maximus stole his

_________________

21. We may suffer a F___________ with another person because we think he

stole our s____________ and s_____________

22. Comodus says to the emperor ―Father, take my arm‖


Because he wanted to I__________ the others in the battlefield by
showing his ―connection‖ with the emperor (authority figure).
In the office, we need to be careful of this low EE attitude

23. The Emperor rejects Comodus hand.

Low EE individuals b________ others for their own bad actions

93
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Emotional Excellence in Decision Making

Low EE organizations lack a shared vision

SPIRIT MIND BODY

(PNEUMA) (PSUCHE) (SOMA)

No shared vision Employees feel Organization


not empowered is not aligned

Principles People Profits

94
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Low EE organizations focus on rules

SPIRIT MIND BODY

(PNEUMA) (PSUCHE) (SOMA)

Legalistic Employees resent Hoping to get efficiency


bossing/supervision being controlled
by RULES

Principles People Profits

95
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

High EE organizations focus on servant leadership

SPIRIT MIND BODY

(PNEUMA) (PSUCHE) (SOMA)

Servant Employees guided Organizational


Leadership by and nurtured by rules alignment
modeling & relationship & innovation

Principles People Profits

96
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Building high EE organizations

SPIRIT MIND BODY

(PNEUMA) (PSUCHE) (SOMA)

Leader imparts Employees are filled Org becomes


vision and acts with passion Self-Disciplined and
with integrity continuously improving
& innovating
Principles People Profits

97
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

SERVANT LEADERSHIP

Discuss these 7 characteristics of a Servant Leader


1. Listening
2. Empathy
3. Healing
4. Awareness
5. Persuasion
6. Conceptualisation
7. Stewardship
8. Foresight
9. Commitment to the growth of people
10. Building continuity

Which of these characteristics would you like to develop?

98
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Adaptability in dealing with different personalities

Emotionally excellent worker


 What will an emotionally excellent worker do?
An emotionally excellent worker will transform themselves into a good team
member

 What does a good team member bring to the table?


– Adds value to the team
– Makes valuable contributions to the team
– Individual strengths

COMPETENCIES
(1) Trustworthiness
 Describe a low-trust work environment.
o Stressful o Tense
o Threatening o Secretive
o Overly-careful o Competitive
o Divisive o Lack of communication
o Unproductive o Emotional

 Describe a high-trust work environment


o Fun o Open o Comfortable
o Supportive o Productive o Successful
o Motivating o Transparent o Team
o Challenging

Intentionality
It is the ability to focus on one‘s mission and concentrate on the job at hand.

Resilience
It is the ability to bounce back from setbacks.

(2) Adaptability
It is the ability to respond effectively to change.

(3) Working with others


It is the ability to collaborate well with other team members.

(4) Constructive discontent


It is the ability to critique in an agreeable, reasonable, justified & fair manner &
to receive criticism with an open mind.

(5) Interpersonal connections


It is the ability to bring your team together, express appreciation & gratitude -
to reciprocate.

99
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

LEONARD Personality Inventory: Quick Self-Test

Name: _________________________________________________

Instructions:
Rank the following behaviours in each horizontal row using 5 (most like me) to 1
(least like me). Please use ranks 5, 4, 3, 2 and 1 for each horizontal row. After that,
add the scores vertically in each column.

Example:

4 Imaginative 2 Calm 3 Careful 5 Friendly 1 Fast/Quick

I see myself as being …

k) ___ Imaginative ___ Calm ___ Careful ___ Friendly ___ Fast/Quick
ً‫خٍان‬ ‫هادئ‬ ‫دزس‬ ‫ودود‬ ‫سشٌع‬

l) ___ Curious ___ Nice ___ Cautious ___ Optimistic ___ Decisive
ً‫فضون‬ ‫نطٍف‬ ‫دزس‬ ‫مشح‬ ‫لادس عهى إتخار انمشاس‬

m) ___ Innovative ___ Good ___ Accurate ___ Cheerful ___ Result-oriented
‫مبتكش‬ listener
‫دلٍك‬ ‫متفائم‬ ‫بادث عن اننتٍجة‬
‫مستمع جٍذ‬

n) ___ Creative ___ Easygoing ___Studious ___ Likes others ___ Confident
)‫خالق(مبذع‬ ‫مشٌخ‬ ‫دزس‬ ‫شبٍه باألخشٌن‬ ‫واثك من نفسه‬

o) ___ Resourceful ___ Patient ___ Serious ___ Warm ___ Loves challenges
‫دالل انمشاكم‬ ‫صبوس‬ ‫جذي‬ ‫دافئ‬ ‫ٌذب انتذذي‬

Total

_______ (I) _______ (II) _______ (III) _______ (IV) _______ (V)

Now add the total scores vertically in each column

Copyright © 2007 by Prof Dr Leonard Yong

100
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

LEONARD Personality Inventory: Quick Self-Test Graph

Name: ________________________________________________________

25

20

16

15

10

0 Openness Neutral Analytical Relational Decisive

Copyright © 2007 by Prof Dr Leonard Yong.

101
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

a) Removing blocks to innovative teamwork through EE

To enrich your interpersonal relationships with others, try to do the following:

High Openness

 Be __________ to other‘s criticisms of your ideas


and suggestions
 Introduce opinions ______________ and slowly
 ______________ others‘ activities and interests

High Neutral

 Say ‗______‘ from the beginning


 ______________ your ground, don‘t give in
 Accept ________________ as part of life and a
healthy development

High Analytical

 __________ your thoughts with others


 Learn to accept constructive ____________ openly
 Be more _____________, start with a smile

High Relational

 Try ____________ less and listen to others more


 Give others a chance to speak, don‘t ____________
 Realise you can‘t ___________ nor get along with
everyone

High Decisive

 Realise that each one is ___________


 Humbly open up to others‘ __________
 Admit your ____________

102
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

b) You can help your organisation by …

High Openness Leader

 Generating breakthrough _________ and hence,


fostering innovation and creativity
 Offering totally different _____________________
approaches
 Thinking outside the __________

High Neutral Leader

 By being _________ and reliable


 Creating a ______________ working environment
 ______________ younger or new staff

High Analytical Leader

 ________________________ and finding the root


causes of existing problems
 Offering _________________, unemotionally-biased
opinions
 Enhancing quality and upholding high
____________

High Relational Leader

 Creating a ______________ working environment


 ________________ members through your
charisma
 ________________ well with people outside the
organisation

High Decisive Leader

 Providing strong ________________


 ___________________ dissenters and laidback
members
 Working _______________ and guiding others
under you

103
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

c) Maximising our relationships with others

How to flow with …..

Creative Imaginators (High Openness people)

 Allow them to express their ______________


 Do not stifle their ________________
 Enable them to try ________ approaches in solving
problems

High Neutral

 Provide them with _________________ about their


peformance
 Give them adequate _______ to prepare for changes
 Be _______________ to their feelings

High Analytical

 Do not ________ them for decisions


 Give them sufficient, _____________ information
 Provide a ________ structure for them to work in

High Relational

 Allow them the _____________ to talk


 Give them due ________________ of their abilities
 Provide a ________ atmosphere

High Decisive

 Give them opportunity to achieve ____________


 Keep conversations with them brief and __________
 Do not load them with too many _____________

104
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Task versus relationship oriented styles

Factors Determine the Most Effective Leadership Style?

Emotionally Excellent Leadership Styles

Relationship

- +
Task

105
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Emotionally Excellent Leadership Behaviors for Different Employees

Motivation
Do not use ________________ Style

Do not use ________________ Style


Worst leadership style is + Worst leadership style is

Best leadership style is Best leadership style is

- +
Skill
Best leadership style is Best leadership style is

Worst leadership style is Worst leadership style is


-

106
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

CASE STUDY 1

The management of the company you are working at was taken over by
another firm. Some of the employees from the previous management had
decided to leave the company. You and a few others decided to stay on
because you feel that there is still a lot you can contribute to this new
management board. Unfortunately, you have in your hands low-skilled
workers who have nowhere to go and newly appointed staffs who are still
lacking in experience and skills. Not only that, the older staffs do not seem to
like the new management board and are only waiting for the opportunity to
leave the company. As one of the supervisors there, you decided to have a
discussion on how to improve the working environment and hope to lift
everyone‘s spirits. You later realize that nobody was as enthusiastic and
cooperative as you hoped them to be.

A) Is having a discussion a good idea at the first place? Why?

B) Which is the best leadership style to use in this case? State your reasons.

C) What is your best course of action? Rank the action statements below in
the order of preference. (Example: 2, 3, 4, 1)

1) Give committee members time to work the problems out for themselves.

2) Ask the group for ideas, then set objectives and supervise closely to insure
the objectives are met.

3) Outline strategies and goals and show the committee how to achieve them.

4) Act as a facilitator. Give encouragement, but allow group members to


interact and set their goals and strategies.

Your best course of action is: _______________________

D) What will you do if at the end of it all, things still do not work out?

107
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

CASE STUDY 2

Your team has been consistently producing excellent results in many


assignments because the team is made up of the company‘s best and most
creative employees. You have been appointed recently as the team leader.
You‘ve introduced some new procedures that you are confident will make your
team soar even higher. It has been almost a month now, and somehow you
begin to notice that some of your teammates are not working as hard as they
used to and absenteeism has been quite normal lately. In one way or the
other, although your team is still known as ―the big guys‖, these issues have
affected you and your team‘s ranking in the company.

A) Is it wise to introduce those new procedures to your team? Why?

B) Which is the best leadership style to use in this case? State your reasons.

C) What is your best course of action? Rank the action statements below in
the order of preference.

1) Give group members time to work the problems out for themselves.

2) Ask the group for ideas, then set objectives and supervise closely to insure
the objectives are met.

3) Outline strategies and goals and show the group how to achieve them.

4) Act as a facilitator. Give encouragement, but allow group members to


interact and set their goals and strategies.

Your best course of action is: _______________

D) How do you show your acknowledgement and appreciation as a team


leader without being too over the top or too egoistic?

108
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

CASE STUDY 3

Your team comprises very capable and intelligent young graduates. It‘s your
job to lead this team to design a new people skills computer–aided curriculum
for high schools students. These young graduates are free to read about any
topic they wish. They also have access to the latest ideas on the subject.

A) Which is the best leadership style to use in this case? Why? State your
reasons.

B) What is your best course of action? Rank the action statements below in
the order of preference.

1) Give group members time to work the problems out for themselves.

2) Ask the group for ideas, then set objectives and supervise closely to insure
the objectives are met.

3) Outline strategies and goals and show the group how to achieve them.

4) Act as a facilitator. Give encouragement, but allow group members to


interact and set their goals and strategies.

Your best course of action is: ______________

109
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

CASE STUDY 4

You are tasked with leading a team of the best creative designers in the
country. In the past, this team has always given completed their assignments
without difficulties. But for this project they are definitely late in coming up with
their ideas. They seem to be discussing the project but the deadline is
drawing near and so far there is no sign of anything concrete appearing.
You‘re getting nervous about being able to complete this project. This project
means a lot to you and you want it to be successful.

A) Do you think your nervousness is affecting the team in some ways? Why?

B) Which is the best leadership style to use in this case? State your reasons.

C) What is your best course of action? Rank the action statements below in
the order of preference.

1) Give group members time to work the problems out for themselves.

2) Ask the group for ideas, then set objectives and supervise closely to insure
the objectives are met.

3) Outline strategies and goals and show the group how to achieve them.

4) Act as a facilitator. Give encouragement, but allow group members to


interact and set their goals and strategies.

Your best course of action is: ______________

D) Let‘s imagine the worst case scenario. Your group missed the deadline.
How would you address this issue without offending your group members‘
professionalism but making it very clear your disappointment and high
expectations of them?

110
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Assessing Your Leadership Style


Please circle the choice that best applies to you.

Always Frequently Sometimes Seldom Never


A B C D E

A B C D E 1. Scolding non-performing employees does more harm than


good.

A B C D E 2. I encourage team members to help each other.

A B C D E 3. I push my team to be the best.

A B C D E 4. I give my team members encouragement and emotional


support.

A B C D E 5. When I speak, I represent my whole team, not just myself.

A B C D E 6. A productive team requires a delicate balance of skills and


personalities.

A B C D E 7. I encourage team members to work faster and better.

A B C D E 8. I consult with team members before introducing new policies or


procedures.

A B C D E 9. I know exactly what my team members are working on.

A B C D E 10. Management understands problems best.

A B C D E 11. I decide how things will be done.

A B C D E 12. I give praise or express appreciation to my team members.

A B C D E 13. I expect to see results every day.

A B C D E 14. I try to select team members whose personalities will blend


well.

A B C D E 15. My team members choose their own assignments.

A B C D E 16. I explain my actions to team members.

A B C D E 17. Projects progress on a predictable scale.

A B C D E 18. I work to build team spirit.

A B C D E 19. I encourage work after hours to complete a project.

A B C D E 20. I discourage discussion of non-work issues during work hours.

A B C D E 21. I know how much each team member is accomplishing.

111
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

A B C D E 22. Things go better when I am flexible.

A B C D E 23. I assign specific tasks to each team member.

A B C D E 24. I enjoy working closely with other team members.

A B C D E 25. Pressuring team members to work harder causes them to slow


down.

A B C D E 26. I trust my team members to exercise good judgment.

A B C D E 27. My team members know exactly what is expected of them


everyday.

A B C D E 28. My team members feel free to speak with me.

A B C D E 29. I give my team members detailed instructions.

A B C D E 30. Decisions made by groups or committees have the best


chance to succeed.

A B C D E 31. Goals, quotas, and bonuses are the best incentives.

A B C D E 32. I work with and assist other team members.

A B C D E 33. I persuade others that my actions are in their best interests.

A B C D E 34. My team members like me.

A B C D E 35. I let my team set its own pace.

A B C D E 36. I grant authority to others.

A B C D E 37. I give special treatment to top producers.

A B C D E 38. I encourage team members to mature and gain skills by taking


on challenging projects.

A B C D E 39. I work hard for promotions and leadership positions.

A B C D E 40. I avoid criticizing a team member when someone might


overhear.

112
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Scoring

Part 1

1. Eight item numbers are circled: 1, 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 33 and 35.

2. Place a 1 next to each of the eight circled items for which you answered D
or E (Seldom or Never).

Part 2

1. Place a 1 next to each of the 32 uncircled items for which you answered A
or B (Always or Frequently).

Part 3

1. Circle the 1‘s you have entered in front of all even-numbered item: (i.e.,
numbers 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, etc)

2. Count the circled 1‘s. This is your RELATIONSHIP BEHAVIOR score.

3. Count the uncircled 1‘s. This is your TASK BEHAVIOR score.

RELATIONSHIP SCORE _______

BEHAVIOR SCORE _______

Score Rating
RELATIONSHIP BEHAVIOR Less than 10 LOW
Greater than 10 HIGH

TASK BEHAVIOR Less than 10 LOW


Greater than 10 HIGH

(Adapted from “Be Prepared to Lead” by Toastmasters International)

113
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Answers to Leadership Case Studies

Case Study 1

a) An IMPLEMENTER directive style of leadership is preferred.

b) Preferred choices (in order of preference) : 3, 2,4, and 1

Case Study 2

a) The preferred style of leadership is the ENCOURAGER Collaborative style.

b) Preferred choices (in order of preference) : 4, 1, 2 and 3

Case Study 3
a) An EXHORTER style of leadership is most likely to succeed.

b) Preferred choices (in order of preference) : 2, 3, 4, and 1

Case Study 4
a) The best style of leadership is NURTURING Style.

b) Preferred choices (in order of preference) : 1, 4, 3, and 2

114
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Team Style Survey (TSS)


The Team Style Survey (TSS) is designed to reveal the most appro-priate
team style for an organization based on three athletic team models: baseball,
football, and basketball. The TSS assesses the following key team indicators:
roles, tasks, skills, control, and work design. The relationships of the above
indicators to the organization's work will determine the type of team best
suited to accomplish the organization's overall mission.

Instructions

1. Read the following TSS sections before you begin the survey.
 Administering the Team Style Survey (TSS).
 Scoring and Interpreting the TSS.
2. Mark you answers to the questions.
3. Upon completion of the TSS, turn to the TSS Scoring Grid and score your
results.
4. Read the interpretation of your scores.

Discuss these questions:


 What team style is best suited for your organization?
 Is the team style best for accomplishing both the work and the mission
of the organization?

115
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Validity of the TSS


The Team Style Survey (TSS) is designed to reveal the most appro-priate
team style for an organization based on three athletic team models: baseball,
football, and basketball. The TSS assesses the following key team indicators:
roles, tasks, skills, control, and work design.

The Team Style Survey (TSS) was administered to thirty-two mid-level


managers attending a Human Interaction Laboratory con-ducted by the
National Training Lab Institute For Applied Behavioral Sciences. The
respondents were asked to respond by either agreeing or disagreeing to the
following questions:

 When you read the survey, is it easy to read and understand? (100%
agreement)
 Does the team analogy fit your organization? (90% agreement)
 Did the results of the TSS help you to identify your organization's most
appropriate team style? (100% agreement).

Administering the Team Style Survey (TSS)


The Team Style Survey (TSS) can be used in teambuilding sessions or any
educational activity designed for gaining a greater understanding of team
models that can be used in the workplace. When administering the survey,
give participants 10 to 15 minutes to complete the task.
Ask participants to answer the questions based on their understand-ing of
how people work together and how they see the work being accomplished in
the organization. Use the following responses to the questions.

Seldom = 1
Sometimes = 2
Always = 3

Scoring and Interpreting the TSS


The Team Style Survey (TSS) is a self-sc9ring instrument. After completing
the survey, ensure that the participants accurately total their responses. Score
value for each response will be either a 1, 2, or 3. Ask participants to transfer
their response scores to the scor-ing grid at the end of the survey. The highest
cumulative score iden-tifies the team model that an organization can use to
accomplish its work.

Discuss the team analogy and relate it to work designs in organiza-tions. This
discussion can last from 15 to 30 minutes depending on the size and
questions asked by participants. There will be varia-tions of team models that
can be discussed.

116
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Team Style Survey


1. You have 10 minutes to complete the TSS.
2. Select from three responses: Seldom, Sometimes, Always.
3. After completing the survey, place the corresponding point value of your
answers into the appropriate response category on the Scoring Grid. The
highest cumulative score in the grid reflects the team design that is most
appropriate for your organization.

Seldom = 1 point
Sometimes = 2 points
Always = 3 points

The TSS Seldom Sometimes Always


1. Each team member works relatively 1 2 3
independent other team members.
2. Execution of team tasks is coordinated through 1 2 3
a comprehensive pre-rehearsed plan of action.
3. Team members must be flexible and able to 1 2 3
assume one another's work responsibilities at
any time.
4. Team members are expected to exercise their 1 2 3
knowledge and influence in their areas of
expertise.
5. Team success can only be achieved if all team 1 2 3
member actions are carefully coordinated.
6. Team members must, work together smoothly 1 2 3
complementing each other's actions.
7. Team members must be able to carry out a 1 2 3
variety of independent tasks, the order and
priorities of which can change unpredictably.
8. Team tasks must be carried out in a 1 2 3
predetermined sequence of actions and in a
controlled manner.
9. All team members participate actively and take 1 2 3
the initiative when they feel it is necessary.
10. All tasks by team members contribute to the 1 2 3
end product.
11. All team members contribute to the tasks and 1 2 3
each must pull their own weight.
12. Team members interact constantly in a wide 1 2 3
variety of ways and can rapidly adapt to
changing circumstance.

117
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

13. Team members do not work in close 1 2 3


collaboration with each other. Any interactions
between team members is brief and infrequent.
14. Team members must interact frequently and 1 2 3
must tailor their communication styles to suit
the task at hand.
15. Team members frequently swap jobs and 1 2 3
positions as circumstances change.
16. Team members are often widely dispersed 1 2 3
geographically.
17. All team members are involved in every aspect 1 2 3
of the work that the team accomplishes.
18. Team member activity is often viewed as 1 2 3
frenetic movement that culminates in task
accomplishment.
19. Team interaction occurs only between a few 1 2 3
team members who work closely together
during any activity.
20. Team member coordination is achieved through 1 2 3
planning and hierarchical direction.
21. Team members must be able to function as a 1 2 3
unit without precise direction.

118
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

TSS Scoring Grid

1. To determine the team style best suited for accomplishing the work in your
organization, complete the scoring below as directed.
2. Place the corresponding number response from the survey questions in
the appropriate category below. Each response number identifies a
particular team style. The highest cumulative score of all the categories
represents the team design that your organization may wish to use to
accomplish the work.

TSS Scoring Grid

1. 2. 3.
4. 5. 6.
7. 8. 9.
10. 11. 12.
13. 14. 15.
16. 17. 18.
19. 20. 21.
Total ______ Total ______ Total ______

Baseball Football Basketball


Team Style Team Style Team Style

119
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Sports Synopsis

Baseball
Baseball is a highly individualistic sport that occasionally
requires teamwork in certain circumstances. Players
interact minimally, and coordination of players is achieved
through the design of the game.

Football
Football demands organized, systematic teamwork. Plays
are designed in advance, and players are assigned
specialized roles throughout the game and for each play.
Careful planning ensures player cooperation and
collaboration:

Basketball
Basketball players are required to achieve spontaneous
teamwork. Coordination is achieved as the players
mutually and sometimes simultaneously adjust to the
changing circumstances of the game. Basketball is a fast
moving game requiring great flexibility and har-mony
among its players.

120
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Test 3 : Power focus

In this test you have to concentrate upon abstract information. Decide the
picture that comes next at the bottom of each line and select your answers
from the chart. The answer will always need to have two letters which
reference the row and column on the chart at which the answer is found. In
the three examples number 1 has been done already to show you how.

121
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Reference chart for the power focus test

The answer to Example 2 is EK (or KE) because a shaded square is at that


point when you look along the row and down the column in the chart.
In Example 3 the shaded five-sided figure appears every other time. It
will appear next in line. Looking this figure up in the chart you can see it
comes under row L and column C, so the answer to Example 3 is CL (or LC).

If you are timing yourself you have 20 minutes to do as much as you can. You
will need to keep looking back at the reference chart as you do the test. Have
scrap paper and a pencil in case you need it. Do not start the test until you are
ready.

122
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

123
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

124
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

125
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

126
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

127
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Kakuro activity to develop whole brain thinking

How to Solve Kakuro Puzzles


Kakuro is played on a grid composed of black and white cells. Some of the
black cells are not entirely solid but will have a diagonal slash through them.
The numbers above and below the slash are your "clues." The number above
the slash is the across clue. The number below the slash is the down clue.

You complete a Kakuro puzzle by following these very simple rules:


 You can only use numbers 1 through 9. Zero is NEVER used.
 The numbers in the across cells must add up to the across clue number.
 The numbers in the down cells must add up to the down clue number.
 Each answer filled in between clues, either across or down, can only use a
single digit once. For example, you cannot have a 2 and another 2 in the
same row or column between clues.

In this sample puzzle, we see that the first number in the second row is 4.
Because 4 is above the slash, we know that it is an across clue.
This means that single digits you insert in the two cells across from the 4 must
total 4 without using a single number twice. Numbers 1 and 3 are the only
possible combination for 4, since no single digit is repeated, but we‘re still
unsure at this point in what order the digits should go.

Now take a look at the clue 3 in the top row. It is below the line, so we know
that it is a down clue. The only possible combination for 3 is 1 and 2.

128
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Strategy Alert!
Here you will learn your first key bit of strategy.
In the example, the only possible solution for 4 across is 1 and 3.
The only possible combination for 3 down is 1 and 2.

Now, what do they have in common? Of course, theft is a common digit both
clues share. Therefore, we know that the answer for the first block under the
3, which is the second block across from 4, must then, by means of logic, be
1.

This is the key to solving Kakuro puzzles. Use your logic and deduc-tion skills
to find common digits among solutions for the clues. You can successfully
reduce the total number of possible answers in any given cell from nine digits
(1-9) down to only a few digits. Working more of the puzzle will narrow the
solution down to only one pos-sible digit.

Using this strategy will greatly reduce the difficulty of the puzzle and put you
well on your way to a successful solution. In many Kakuro puzzles, you will
find that only a single number is common between an across clue and a down
clue, as we saw in the sample puzzle. You can insert that number with
complete confidence whenever that is the case.

Build. Once you've narrowed down the possible answers and filled in a few
cells with confidence, build on them. Keep building and you will find yourself
with the satisfaction of a job well done and a beautifully completed puzzle
such as this one from our sample.

Notice how all the answers across and down equal the sum of the clue, and in
no circumstance is a single digit used more than once between the black
cells. Study this solution and you'll have more insight to attacking these
puzzles.
129
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

130
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Solving Strategies
You've just learned an important technique to solving Kakuro puzzles: finding
common numbers between across and down clues. This is an extremely
helpful tactic that you will employ in every Kakuro puzzle you attempt. Kakuro
puzzles are not designed for random guessing, although you may find yourself
using that method from time to time. Through sheer logic, you should be able
to complete most Kakuro puzzles. Logic is your best weapon.

Remember: If only one number is common between an across cell and a


down cell, it must be correct!

131
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

The Kakuro Unique Sum Chart


This chart will be extremely helpful in solving Kakuro puzzles. Sorted by the
number of cells a clue has, it lists the only corr ct possibilities for a particular
clue. For example, in the second line, we see the clue is 4. If you have a
Kakuro puzzle with the clue as 4 and only two cells to fill in, the only possible
single digits for the answers are 1 and 3. It does not matter if the clue is
across or down; the answer can only be 1 and 3 to equal the clue 4 with only
two cell . If we used 2 and 2 we would be incorrect, as a single digi cannot be
repeated in an answer.

The Kakuro Unique Sum Chart


Cells Clue Possibilities
2 3 { 1,2 }
2 4 { 1,3 }
2 16 { 7,9 }
2 17 { 8,9 }
3 6 { 1,2,3 }
3 7 { 1, 2, 4 }
3 23 { 6, 8, 9 }
3 24 { 7, 8, 9 }
4 10 { 1, 2, 3, 4 }
4 11 { 1, 2, 3, 5 }
4 29 { 5, 7, 8, 9 }
4 30 { 6, 7, 8, 9 }
5 15 {1, 2 , 3, 4, 5}
5 16 {1, 2, 3, 4, 6}
5 34 {4, 6, 7, 8, 9}
5 35 {5, 6, 7, 8, 9}
6 21 {1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6}
6 22 {1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7}
6 38 {3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9}
6 39 {4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9}

132
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

1. Easy Kakuro

2. Medium Kakuro

133
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Sourced from: http://kakuro.cc

134
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Kakuro Puzzle 5

135
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Kakuro Puzzle 6

136
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Kakuro Puzzle 7

137
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Kakuro Puzzle 8

138
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Test 3: Power focus

1. CK
2. AM
3. AN
4. BL
5. EN
6. CL
7. EM
8. CK
9. CQ
10. EO
11. FQ
12. EN
13. AN
14. AK
15. EO
16. BM
17. BP
18. AM
19. AO
20. BM

139
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

1. Easy Kakuro Solution

2. Medium Kakuro Solution

140
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Kakuro Solutions

141
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Learning points from instructional videos

142
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Apply Psychology in
Leading in an
Emotionally
Intelligent Way

143
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Enhancing self-awareness

Self-Awareness is the ability of an individual to recognize and understand


one‘s moods, emotions and drives as well as their impact on others.

a) Emotional Self-Awareness
 Is aware of own feelings
 Can accept own feelings
 Can listen to own feelings
 I am aware when I am getting upset

b) Emotional Expression
 Can express my emotions
 I let others know what I am feeling in an appropriate
manner
 Can ask help from others when I genuinely require
help

c) Emotional Awareness of Others


 Good listener
 Considers others‘ feelings before expressing my
opinion
 Can identify others‘ feelings
 Can sense someone‘s feelings even when unspoken

144
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Self-Awareness Skill Builder 1: Understand Your Brain

Your brain has three parts that work together like a team of advisors.

The three parts are:


1. Instinct
2. Emotions
3. Logic

Their goal is to keep you safe and give you advice. Each advisor has a
different set of skills. Sometimes they give you conflicting advice and
sometimes they are silent.

Your job is to learn how to hear all three advisors and make the best choices
based on their combined input.

The Three Advisors


Instinct Emotions Logic
Skills Identifies danger. Uses your memories Thoroughly
Will advise you and what you have analyzes
whether to fight or learned in the past. problems and
run away. comes up with
options.
Strengths Gets you to act Helps you to make Will help you to
fast without fast decisions based carefully consider
thinking. on your feelings logical options.
about past Helps you to
experiences and prepare for the
learning. future.
Weaknesses May get you to act May draw the wrong May need time
too quickly and conclusions about a and accurate
dangerously situation. information to
without conscious thoroughly
thought. consider all
options.

Thinking smart requires being aware of, and listening to, all three advisors
carefully. Planning and preparation is one of the best ways to intentionally use
the best advice from all of your advisors.

(Adapted from Emotional Intelligence Works by S. Michael Kravitz, Ph.D. & Susan D.
Schubert, M.A.)

145
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Self-Awareness Skill Builder 2:


Hear Yourself Think

How do you react when you are in a crisis?

In a crisis situation, it is especially difficult to hear from the advisor of Logic.


Most people respond to advice from the advisors of Instinct and Emotions.
Without the balance of all three, there is danger of making a less effective
decision.

Although most people rarely face life-threatening situations, the everyday


wear-and-tear of tight time schedules, irritable people, and personal problems
requires clear thinking. Everyone has periodic crises that make it even more
difficult to stay calm and clear-headed. The frequency and extent of crises
depend on the kind of work you do and on personal circumstances.

What kind of crises and daily stresses do you experience? Which of these
stressors happen repeatedly?

 Managing an overloaded work schedule

 Personal or family illness

 Demanding customers

 Numerous and unpredictable changes

 Financial struggles

 Responsibility for children or aging parents

 Other:

146
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Self-Awareness Skill Builder 3:


Stop Responding Automatically

Start taking control of the way you think and act by listening to your own
emotions and thoughts. Find out why you react the way you do to crises and
stress. Learn more about yourself. Mentally prepare yourself for improving
how you think and respond in the future.

Techniques for Learning About Yourself:

Technique 1: Relax

Technique 2: Catch yourself thinking

Technique 3: Find the causes

Technique 4: Understand what motivates you

Technique 1: Relax

Relaxation helps your mind feel more at peace so that you can think clearly.
When you feel peaceful, you are aware of what is happening with your
emotions, body, and mind. People in the grip of a very strong emotion such as
anger or fear find it difficult to be emotionally aware.

Slow down your breathing. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Breathe
deeply a few times. Allow your body to relax. Relax your cramped muscles.
Breathe slowly and gently.

In your new state of relaxation, revisit the event that caused you to become
upset. Remember what happened.

―I am really upset about (describe the situation or event)

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________‖

147
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Technique 2: Catch yourself thinking

Now, remember how you felt and what you thought when the event happened.
Accept and describe your feelings and thoughts. Once you have fully
analyzed your emotions, you will be able to direct your thinking into wiser
actions.

Ask yourself, ―What did my body tell me about how I feel? Where did I feel
tense? Hands, arms, back, neck, or stomach? Did I have a headache? Was
my reaction to fight or flee? Was I so angry that I thought about how to get
even with that person?

―When I think about that situation, I remember I felt

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________‖

―I remember at the time, I thought

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________‖

148
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Technique 3: Find the causes

Uncover the true causes for your strong reactions such as anger, revenge,
fear, sorrow or exhaustion. Be aware that the true causes may not be obvious
to you. Search deeply for the truth to find the hidden meanings.

Imagine that you are peeling away the layers of an onion by using questions
(why, what, why, when, how) to uncover the hidden layers of meaning.

– Why were you angry or afraid?


– Were you frustrated because someone or something got in the way of
your goals?
– What old feelings came back from your childhood or a previous job?
– When were your beliefs or values compromised?
– Why did you find the person‘s words or actions offensive to you?
– When do you usually get upset?

Go deeper into your own difficult situation to find the underlying causes. Use
the ―why‖ technique by asking yourself several times:

―Why do I feel upset when __________________________ happens?‖

Keep asking and answering questions until you believe you have peeled away
the truth about your emotions.

149
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Technique 4: Understand what motivates you

a. Motivation is why people do what they do.

b. Motivation is like the fuel that powers an automobile. It is the energy-


source that affects how you make decisions and respond to
interpersonal challenges.

c. Once you know what kind of ―fuel‖ drives you, it is possible to improve
your thinking and make better choices.

Do you know what motivates you?

(Adapted from Emotional Intelligence Works by S. Michael Kravitz, Ph.D. & Susan D.
Schubert, M.A.)

150
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Self awareness of our childhood development

Stages of human development


1. 0-2 years old
Inner security development via warm cuddling, words

2. 3-6 years old


Inner significance development via loving and firm discipline

3. 7-12 years old


Learning by fun

4. 13-18 years old


Letting go and forming healthy relationships in preparation for early adulthood

151
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

STAGES OF HUMAN DEVELOPMENT

1) 0-2 years old

_______________ development: via warm _________________, words

State 2 steps you can take to help a child at this stage


a)

b)

2) 3-6 years old

_________________ development via loving & firm ________________

State 2 steps you can take to help a child at this stage


a)

b)

3) 7-12 years old

Learning by ___________

State 2 steps you can take to help a child at this stage

a)

b)

4) 13-18 years old


Letting go and forming _______________ in preparation for early adulthood

State 2 steps you can take to help an individual at this stage


a)

b)

152
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Learning points from instructional videos

153
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Empathy: Increase your level of social awareness

Empathy

 Key skill for coordination

 The ability to see a situation from another person‘s point of view

 Critical to both negotiation and influence, because neither works unless


you demonstrate that you can see the situation from the point of view of
the members you‘re working with

Empathy is a way of showing that while your


goals are important they are not automatically
more important than those of others.

Effective empathy can be learned and practiced as you go about your daily
job. There are six aspects of empathy that you can work on:

1. Focus on Overall Goals

o Focus your attention and your team member attention on the overall
goals that all of you share.

2. State Goals Up Front

o Be very clear up front what your goals are, and ask other member(s) to
do the same.
o Use a blackboard or a flip chart and write down each member‘s goals.
Take as much time as you need to complete this step, so that everyone
sees exactly what‘s at stake in the discussion.
o There may be goals that conflict one another. As you look at them, sort
through them and you may begin to see where some areas of flexibility
are. Find agreement if there is any agreement to be found.
o Prioritize your goals and understand the bottom line of each goal.

154
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

3. Keep an Open Mind

o Be flexible. Do not stereotype your members.


o Deal directly with the underlying issues – the hidden agendas.

4. Confront Honestly

o This takes some skill, but all of us are capable of doing it.
o If you genuinely believe that another member isn‘t stating his true
goals, then say that in a non-judgmental manner. Don‘t sound like
you‘re accusing him of something. You‘re not; you‘re simply putting in
words what your honest perceptions are.
o Be level about your real goals too. (e.g. looking good, getting a
promotion, etc.)
o Be honest to build a worthwhile relationship with one another.

5. Help Everyone Succeed

o This is what empathy is all about.


o Adopt strategies that will help others to succeed and fulfill their goals as
well.
o Being honest about goals and caring that others succeed requires
considerable openness and trust, and this takes time to develop.

6. Be Patient

o It takes time to develop openness and empathy for each other‘s goals.
Team members need to work closely together, be honest about what
they want and work towards understanding each other.
o Changes don‘t happen quickly and easily, even when everyone intends
them sincerely and is willing to work for them.
o The change from an environment in which I compete with you to one in
which I empathize with and support your goals is a major change. Even
where competition hasn‘t been strong, moving to real empathy isn‘t
trivial.

(Adapted from “Teampower: Lessons from America’s top companies on putting teampower to work” by
Clay Carr)

155
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Delegating tasks and responsibilities

As the continual learning cycle moves upwards, your people become ready to
assume responsibility for more complex tasks. You are then in a position to
delegate, set new targets, and lead.

1. As you notice that an employee starts to attain the necessary level of


competence, get ready to delegate some of your own work.

2. Bear in mind that the delegated work should represent an opportunity for
genuine advancement in terms of increased skill and responsibility.

3. Above all, empower your staff by letting them see your increasing
confidence in them and by giving them opportunities to do things their way
rather than yours.

4. Brief them thoroughly, ask for their ideas and then leave them to get on
with it.

5. When you had over a project, explain the:


a. Background
b. Specify the deadlines
c. Available resources
d. Levels of authority in place

Make it clear what the employee is to achieve before considering the


possible options for achieving it.

Steps in Delegating Projects

1) Identify priorities and capabilities of staff

2) Ensure that the delegated work represents more responsibility

3) Brief employee on what is to be achieved

4) Ask for ideas and show confidence and trust

5) Be available to offer support if necessary

6) Arrange for periodic reports on progress

156
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Remember:

 Delegate work before it overwhelms you


 Allow people to learn from their own mistakes
 Raise your expectations and ask people to live up to them
 People have hidden talents that emerge when they are challenged.

Ask yourself:

i. Which responsibilities am I hanging on to for fear of appearing not to be


―in charge‖?

ii. How would I like my manager to coach me to take on more


responsibility?

iii. Have I delegated interesting and rewarding jobs?

Delegating with Emotional Intelligence

Effective delegation involves the emotionally intelligent awareness of each


team member‘s strengths and weaknesses, and taking time to communicate
clearly even if your schedule is very tight.

i. Although emotionally intelligent delegation takes a good deal of thought and


consideration, such energy is well spent.

ii. As a leader, when things go wrong, demand accountability in private, while


assuming responsibility in public. Mistakes will happen from time to time.
See them as opportunities for learning, not only for your staff, but for you to
fine-tune your skills of delegation.

iii. Ultimately, emotionally intelligent delegation hinges on open communication.


This enables you to know your staff members, to know in which directions
they can grow to reach their hidden potential.

(Adapted from Putting Emotional Intelligence to Work by David Ryback)

157
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Assessing Delegation

This questionnaire is designed to give a general assessment of your


delegation skills. Put a tick in the box nearest the statement that best
represents your approach. If your approach is halfway between the two put
the tick in the middle box. Then add the figures up for each box you have
ticked: the values are at the top of each. This gives you your total – see how
you did by reading the table below the quiz.

Statement 5 4 3 2 1 Statement
1. I believe it is important to I delegate tasks that I do
delegate a task that may be at not like doing myself and
the limit of a team member‘s never delegate anything
current abilities. unless I am sure that
others can handle it.
2. I assess a person‘s strengths I would delegate far more
and weaknesses before if I felt that my team
delegating a project and make members could handle it.
sure they have the backup they
need.
3. I could usually do tasks that I If I can do something
delegate more quickly myself but myself I usually do so,
what I delegate is not crucial to even if it means another
my current job priorities. key task is postponed.
4. I think others learn most I would like to give team
effectively through doing a variety members opportunities
of jobs. I am pleased when a for advancement but
member of my team takes a there is seldom any time
better position in the organization to do so.
elsewhere.
5. I never do anything that can be I often do trivial tasks.
handled by somebody on my
team.
6. I always plan delegation in I delegate as and when it
advance, knowing what to becomes necessary to
delegate and who will be given a whoever has the lightest
project ahead of time. workload at the time.
7. Before delegating a task I think I always give objectives,
about what should be achieved, the way I want the work
how the task should be done and done and when it has to
how long it should take. Where be done when I tell them
possible I agree this with the they have the job.
person doing the job beforehand.

158
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

8. I think regular updates on how I call people to discuss


delegated work is going are vital and I progress on tasks only if I
set up times for progress reports at the have some spare time.
start of the project.
9. I always stick to a ―hands off‖ I step in at once if I hear
approach on jobs until the agreed or suspect a delegated
review date/time. job may not be going
right.
10. At the end of a project, I think a Making time for reviews is
review of what was done and how it not important - after all,
was done is vital. the job is done.

How did you score?


Unless you scored 50, there is scope to improve your delegation skills.

If you scored:

More than 45 Your delegation skills appear to be good. Those in your team
should have a fair idea of what you want and when you want it
done. However, there may be one or two parts in which you
did not score 5 – you may want to improve these slightly
weaker areas.
35-44 Your delegation skills are reasonable but in some areas
development can make them even better. Consider the areas
where your scores were lower – these are where you should
try to improve.
25-34 While you have some skills in this area, you can achieve
considerable improvement in your performance and that of
your team, by spending time developing skills in the areas in
which you are weak.
15-24 Your delegation skills are not good and you need to make a
concerted effort to improve them. It is probable that your team
is not performing as well as it could, as a direct result of your
weakness in this area.
10-14 Your skills need substantial improvement in many areas.
Your team is almost certainly underperforming because your
delegation skills are poor. They are not being given the jobs
they are capable of. You are probably spending much more
time than you should on jobs you could get the team to do.

159
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Delegation Case Study: A Good Manager?


Russell is Assistant General Manager and Sales Manager for Webb
Enterprises. At the moment, this self-styled perfectionist is sitting up in bed,
checking his TTD sheet for tomorrow. The TTD (Things To Do) itemizes his
activities, placing them on an exact time schedule. Never one to browbeat
subordinates, Russell has his own special way of reminding people that time
is money.

Ever since the days when he was the best salesman the company ever had,
he had worked harder than the rest. It had paid off, too, because in only two
years (when old Charlie retired), he was the heir apparent to the general
managership. As this thought crossed Russell's mind, his immediate pride
was replaced with a nagging problem. Where was he going to find the time to
do all the things his position required? He certainly couldn't afford to just
maintain the status quo. Then his mind forced him to plan tomorrow's
activities and the problem was pushed into the background for future
consideration.
(We see below a portion of Russell's well-planned day)

TTD – October 16th

7:15 Breakfast with Johnson (Purchasing). Get information on his cataloging


system. Maybe combine with sales department and avoid duplication.

8:30 Meeting with Henry (Asst. Sales Manager). Tell him exactly how the
sales meeting for out-of-state representatives should be conducted. Caution-
he's shaky on questions.

9:15 Discuss progress on new office procedures manual with Charlie


(General Manager). (He's irritated because I've dragged my heels on this. Let
him know I've got Newman working on the problem.)

9:45 Assign Pat Newman the job of collecting data and sample copies
regarding office manuals in other companies in our industry. Set up a system
for him to use in analysis.

10:45 Call on Acliff Printing. A potentially big customer. (As Russell jotted
down some information on this client, he reflected that it was a shame no one
else on his staff could really handle the big ones the way he could. This
thought was pleasing and bothersome at the same time.)

12:00 Lunch with J.Acliff (reservations at B1ackAngus).

160
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

3:00 Meet with Frank Lentz (Advertising Assistant) and check his progress
on the new sales campaign. (Russell thought about Lentz's usual wild ideas
and hoped that he had followed the general theme and rough sketches he had
prepared.)

7:30 Chamber of Commerce meeting. (Look up Pierce Hansen-he may be


able to help on the Acliff account.)

Questions:

1. Do you think Francis is a highly motivated employee trying to do a good


job? Explain your answer.

2. What problems do you see concerning Francis' effectiveness as a


manager?

3. Assuming you were Charlie, the General Manager what solutions would
you recommend?

161
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Learning points from instructional videos

162
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Influencing & inspiring people

A Person of Influence Has……


Integrity with People
Nurtures Other People
Faith in People
Listens to People
Understands People
Enlarges People
Navigates for Other People
Connects with People
Empowers People
Reproduces Other Influencers
INFLUENCE DOESN‘T COME TO US INSTANTANEOUSLY. IT GROWS BY STAGES.

EVERYONE HAS INFLUENCE

If your life in any way connects with other people, you are an influencer.

YOUR INFLUENCE IS NOT EQUAL WITH ALL PEOPLE

163
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Five Levels of Leadership

PERSONHOOD

PEOPLE DEVELOPMENT

PRODUCTION

PERMISSION

POSITION

Stages of Influence and Their Impact


(Adapted from “Becoming a Person of Influence” by John C. Maxwell & Jim Dornan)

Level 1 Modeling

People are first influenced by what they see.

Level 2 Motivating

You become a motivational influencer when you encourage people and


communicate with them on an emotional level. The process does two things:
(1) It creates a bridge between you and them,
(2) it builds up their confidence and sense of self-worth.

When people feel good about you and themselves during the times they‘re
with you, then your level of influence increases significantly.

Level 3 Mentoring

Mentoring is pouring your life into others and helping them reach their
potential.

Level 4 Multiplying

As a multiplying influencer, you help people you‘re influencing to become


positive influencers in the lives of others and pass on not only what they have
received from you, but also what they have learned and gleaned on their own.

164
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

YOUR INFLUENCE IS EITHER POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE

Even if you‘ve had a negative effect on others in the past, you can turn that
around and make your impact a positive one.

Positive Influencers Add Value To Other People


The number of people you influence is not what‘s most important. The crucial
thing to remember is that your level of influence is not static.

Who Is On The Influence List?


If you want to make an impact, you will have to become a man or woman
capable of influencing others. There is no other way of effectively touching
people‘s lives. And if you become a person of influence, then maybe someday
when other people write down the names of those who made a difference in
their lives, your name just might be on the list.

165
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

1. A Person of Influence Has… INTEGRITY WITH PEOPLE


Genuine integrity is not for sale

The need for integrity today is perhaps as great as it has ever been. And it is
absolutely essential for anyone who desires to become a person of influence.

Integrity is about the small things

Integrity is the quality most needed to succeed in business.

Integrity is an inside job

1. Integrity is not determined by circumstances


2. Integrity is not based on credentials
3. Integrity is not to be confused with reputation

Questions to help you measure your integrity


1. How well do I treat people from whom I can gain nothing?
2. Am I transparent with others?
3. Do I role-play based on the person(s) I‘m with?
4. Am I the same person when I‘m in the spotlight as I am when I‘m alone?
5. Do I quickly admit wrongdoing without being pressed to do so?

Integrity is your best friend


Integrity is your friends’ best friend

The benefit of integrity: TRUST


Character is made in the small moments of out lives. – Phillips Brooks.
People today are desperate for leaders, but they want to be influenced only by
individuals they can trust, persons of good character. If you want to become
someone who can positively influence other people, you need to develop the
following qualities of integrity and live them out every day:

 Model consistency of character


 Employ honest communication
 Value transparency
 Exemplify humanity

166
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

The benefit of TRUST: Influence


When you earn people‘s trust, you begin to earn their confidence, and that is
one of the keys to influence.

Become a person of Integrity

Commit yourself to honesty, reliability and confidentiality


Decide ahead of time that you don‘t have a price
Major in the minor things
Each day, do what you should do before what you want to do

Influence Checklist - Having integrity with people

 Commit yourself to developing strong character

 Do the little things. Spend the next week carefully monitoring your
character habits. Make a note to yourself each time you do any of the
following:

 Don‘t tell the whole truth


 Neglect to fulfill a commitment, whether it‘s promised or implied
 Leave an assignment uncompleted
 Talk about something that you might have been expected to keep in
confidence.

 Do what you should do before you do what you want to do.


(Adapted from “Becoming a Person of Influence” by John C. Maxwell & Jim Dornan)

167
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

2. A Person of Influence…NURTURES OTHER PEOPLE


The Nature of Nurture
If you nurture others but allow them to become dependent on you, you‘re
really hurting them, not helping them.

A Nurturing Influencer Is A Giver

Start giving to others in these areas:


 Love. Without love, there can be no connection, no future, and no
success together.
 Respect. Where love focuses on giving to others, respect shows a
willingness to receive from them.
 Sense of Security. People feel secure with you when your actions and
words are consistent and conform to a high moral code that includes
respect.
 Recognition. Share recognition and show appreciation to others.
 Encouragement. When a person feels encouraged, he can face the
impossible and overcome incredible adversity.

What They Receive


 Positive Self-Worth
 Sense of Belonging
 Perspective. For most people, it‘s not what they are that holds them
back. It‘s what they think they‘re not.
 Feeling of Significance
 Hope

How To Become A Natural Nurturer


 Commit to them
 Believe in them
 Be accessible to them
 Give with no strings attached
 Give them opportunities
 Lift them to a higher level

Influence Checklist - NURTURING OTHER PEOPLE


 Develop a nurturing environment in your home and place of business.
 Give special encouragement
 Rebuild bridges

(Adapted from “Becoming a Person of Influence” by John C. Maxwell & Jim Dornan)

168
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

3. A Person of Influence Has…FAITH IN PEOPLE


Facts About Faith In People

1. Most people don‘t have faith in themselves.


2. Most people don‘t have someone who has faith in them.

When you believe in people, they do the impossible. – Nancy Dornan

3. Most people can‘t tell when someone has faith in them

Difficulties seldom defeat people; lack of faith in themselves usually does it.

4. Most people will do anything to live up to your faith in them.

Faith Is Belief In Action

How To Become A Believer In People


 Believe in them before they succeed
 Emphasize their strengths
 List their past successes
 Instill confidence when they fail
 Experience some wins together. Coming alongside others to help them
experience some wins with you gives them reasons to believe they will
succeed. And in the process, they sense victory. Take a look at this
comparison between what happens when people sense victory versus
when they expect defeat:

When People Sense Victory When People Sense Defeat


They sacrifice to succeed They give as little as possible
They look for ways to win They look for excuses
They become energized They become tired
They follow the game plan They forsake the game plan
They help other team members They hurt others

Visualize their future success

Expect a new level of living.


To help people believe they can achieve victory, put them in a position to
experience small successes.

169
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Influence Checklist - HAVING FAITH IN PEOPLE

 Find a strength.
 Build on past successes.
 Help others overcome defeat.
 Start off right.

(Adapted from “Becoming a Person of Influence” by John C. Maxwell & Jim Dornan)

4. A Person of Influence….LISTENS TO PEOPLE


The Value of Listening
You aren‘t learning anything when you‘re doing all the talking. The ability to
skilfully listen is one key to gaining influence with others. Edgar Watson Howe
once joked, ―No man would listen to you talk if he didn‘t know it was his turn
next.‖

 Listening shows respect

 Listening builds relationships

 Listening increases knowledge. You‘ll never know how close you are
to a million-dollar idea unless you‘re willing to listen.

 Listening generates ideas

 Listening builds loyalty. Everyone loves a good listener and is attracted


to him/her. If you consistently listen to others, valuing them and what
they have to offer, they are likely to develop a strong loyalty to you,
even when your authority with them is unofficial or informal.

 Listening is a great way to help others and yourself

Common Barriers to Listening


Overvaluing talking. Good communicators know to monitor their talking-to-
listening ratio. Listen twice as much as you speak.

 Lacking focus
 Experiencing mental fatigue
 Stereotyping
 Carrying personal emotional baggage
 Being preoccupied with self

170
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

How to Develop Listening Skills


To become a good listener, you have to want to hear. But you also need some
skills to help you. Here are nine suggestions to help you become a better
listener:

1. Look at the speaker


2. Don‘t interrupt

People who tend to interrupt others generally do so for one of these reasons:
 They don‘t place enough value on what the other person has to say.
 They want to impress others by showing how smart or intuitive they
are.
 They‘re too excited by the conversation to let the other person finish
talking.

3. Focus on understanding

To increase your understanding of others as you listen, follow these


guidelines offered by Eric Allenbaugh:

 Listen with a head-heart connection


 Listen with the intent of understanding
 Listen for the message and the message behind the message
 Listen for both content and feelings
 Listen with your eyes – your hearing will be improved
 Listen for others‘ interest, not just their position
 Listen for what they are saying and not saying
 Listen with empathy and acceptance
 Listen for the areas where they are afraid and hurt
 Listen as you would like to be listened to

4. Determine the need at the moment

5. Check your emotions

6. Suspend your judgment

7. Sum up at major intervals

8. Ask questions for clarity

9. Always make listening your priority.

If you show people how much you care and ask questions in a nonthreatening
way, you‘ll be amazed by how much they‘ll tell you.

171
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Influence Checklist - LISTENING TO PEOPLE

 Measure your listening skills.

Have someone who knows you well use the following questions to evaluate
your listening skills according to the nine qualities of good listening. Ask
him/her to explain any no answers. Don‘t interrupt or defend yourself as you
receive the explanation.

1. Do I usually look at the speaker while he or she is talking?


2. Do I wait for the speaker to finish talking before I respond?
3. Do I make understanding my goal?
4. Am I usually sensitive to the speaker‘s immediate need?
5. Do I make it a practice to check my emotions?
6. Do I regularly suspend my judgment until I get the whole story?
7. Am I in practice of summing up what the speaker says at major
intervals?
8. Do I ask questions for clarity when needed?
9. Do I communicate to others that listening is a priority?

 Strategy for improvement.

Based on the answers received, list three ways you could improve your
listening skills:
1.
2.
3.

Commit yourself to making those improvements during the coming weeks.

 Schedule a listening occasion.

Make an appointment with the most important person in your life this week,
and plan to spend an hour just communicating. Give that person your
undivided attention, and spend at least two-thirds of the time just listening to
him/her.

(Adapted from “Becoming a Person of Influence” by John C. Maxwell & Jim Dornan)

172
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

5. A Person of Influence…UNDERSTANDS PEOPLE

Understanding People Pays Great Dividends


When we understand the other fellow‘s viewpoint – understand what he is
trying to do – nine times out of ten he is trying to do right. – Harry Truman

Why People Fail To Understand Others

1. Fear
Some reasons why employees are reluctant to suggest ideas:
 They think their ideas will be rejected
 They feel co-workers won‘t like the ideas
 They think they won‘t get credit if the ideas work
 They‘re afraid the boss will be threatened by the ideas
 They‘re concerned that they‘ll be labeled as troublemakers
 They‘re afraid of losing their jobs if they suggest ideas that don‘t
work

2. Self-Centeredness

What our priorities should be when dealing with other people:

The least important word: I


The most important word: We
The two most important words: Thank you
The three most important words: All is forgiven
The four most important words: What is your opinion?
The five most important words: You did a good job.
The six most important words: I want to understand you better

3. Failure to Appreciate Differences

4. Failure to Acknowledge Similarities

Things Everybody Needs to Understand About People

1. Everybody wants to be somebody.


2. Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.
3. Everybody needs somebody
4. Everybody can be somebody when somebody understands and believes
in her.
5. Anybody who helps somebody influences a lot of bodies

173
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Choose to Understand Others

 The other person’s perspective.


Whenever you look at things from the other person‘s perspective, you‘ll
receive a whole new way of looking at life. And you‘ll find new ways of
helping others.
 Personal empathy
 A positive attitude about people

If you treat every person you meet as if he or she were the most important
person in the world, you‘ll communicate that he or she is somebody – to you.

Influence Checklist - UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE

 Raise your understanding.


Use the following scale to rate your ability to understand people (circle the
rating that applies to you):

Superior I can nearly always anticipate how people will feel and react in
any given situation. Understanding is one of my strongest
abilities.

Good Most of the time what people do and want makes sense to me.
I consider my ability to understand people an asset.

Fair I‘m surprised by people just as often as I‘m able to anticipate


their thinking. I consider my ability to understand others to be
average.

Poor Most of the time people‘s feelings and motivations are


mysteries to me. I definitely need to do better in this area.

 Understanding action plan.


If you rated yourself superior, then you should be sharing your skill by
teaching others how to better understand people. If you rated yourself good,
fair, or poor, keep striving to learn and improve. You can improve your ability
immediately by asking yourself these four questions each time you meet new
people:

1. Where did they come from?


2. Where do they want to go?
3. What is their need now?
4. How can I help?

 Activate your positive attitude.


If your ability to understand people isn‘t as good as you‘d like it to be, the root
cause may be that you don‘t value others as highly as you could.

174
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

(Adapted from “Becoming a Person of Influence” by John C. Maxwell & Jim Dornan)
6. A Person of Influence…ENLARGES PEOPLE
The Meaning of Mentoring
Mentors impact eternity because there is not telling where their influence will
stop.

Enlarging Others is An Investment

 Raise their level of living


 Increase their potential for success
 Increase their capacity for growth
 Increase the potential of your organization

Make Yourself An Enlarger


 Carefully Choose Persons To Enlarge
 Select people whose philosophy of life is similar to yours
 Choose people with potential you genuinely believe in
 Select people whose lives you can positively impact
 Match the men and women to the mountains
 Start when the time is right

Make It A Priority To Take Them Through The Enlarging Process


 See their potential
 Cast a vision for their future
 Tap into their passion
 Address character flaws
 Focus on their strengths
 Enlarge them one step at a time. Help them take growth steps in areas
such as attitude, relationships, leadership, and, personal and
professional skills.
 Put resources in their hands
 Expose them to enlarging experiences
 Teach them to be self-enlargers

A successful enlarger evaluates the potential of others and places them in a


position to succeed.

No one becomes rich, unless he enriches others.

175
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Influence Checklist - ENLARGING PEOPLE

Whom will you enlarge?


Write down the names of the top three candidates for you to enlarge.
Remember to pick people whose philosophy of life is similar to yours, whose
potential you believe in, whose lives you can positively impact, and who are
ready for the process.
1.
2.
3.

(Adapted from “Becoming a Person of Influence” by John C. Maxwell & Jim Dornan)

7. A Person of Influence…NAVIGATES FOR OTHER PEOPLE


A leader is one who sees more than others see, who sees farther than others see, and
who sees before others do. – Leroy Eims

A Navigator Indentifies The Destination


 What do they cry about? To know where people truly want to go, you
need to know what touches their hearts.
 What do they sing about? Looking for enthusiasms in the people you
mentor will give you another clue concerning their intended destination.
 What do they dream about? If you can help people discover their
dreams and truly believe in them, you can help them become the
persons they were designed to be.

A Navigator Plots the Course


 Where they need to go
 What they need to know
 How they need to grow

A Navigator Thinks Ahead


1. Everybody faces problems
2. Successful people face more problems than unsuccessful people.
3. Money doesn‘t solve problems
4. Problems provide an opportunity for growth.
Historian Arnold Toynbee believed that all people react in one of four
ways under difficult circumstances:
 Retreat into the past
 Daydream about the future
 Retreat within and wait for someone to rescue them
 Face the crisis and transform it into something useful

176
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

A Navigator Makes Course Corrections


 Teach them not to listen to doubting critics
 Coach them not to be overwhelmed by challenges
 Encourage them to seek simple solutions
 Instil confidence in them

A Navigator Stays With The People


Use your influence to help people move up to the next level in their lives, and
if you assist them during their darkest hours, you will make friends of them for
life.

Influence Checklist - NAVIGATING FOR OTHER PEOPLE


 Identify their destination.
 Look ahead
 Plan ahead

(Adapted from “Becoming a Person of Influence” by John C. Maxwell & Jim Dornan)

177
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

8. A Person of Influence…CONNECTS WITH PEOPLE


Connecting Enables Others To Travel To A Higher Level

Nine steps for connecting with people:

1. Don‘t take people for granted. You can connect with people and lead them
only if you value them.

2. Possess a Make-a-Difference mind-set.


 Believe you can make a difference.
 Believe what you share can make a difference.
 Believe the person you share with can make a difference.
 Believe that together you can make a big difference.

3. Initiate movement toward them. To be effective, leaders must be initiators.


If they don‘t go to their people, meet them where they are, and initiate the
connection, then 80 per cent of the time, no connection will be made.

4. Look for common ground.

5. Recognize and respect differences in personality.

6. Find the key to others‘ lives.

7. Communicate from the heart.

8. Share common experiences.

9. Once connected, move forward.

Influence Checklist - CONNECTING WITH PEOPLE

 Measure your current connection


 Connect at a deeper level
 Communicate your vision

(Adapted from “Becoming a Person of Influence” by John C. Maxwell & Jim Dornan)

178
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

9. A Person of Influence…EMPOWERS PEOPLE

What it means to empower others


Simply defined, empowering is giving your influence to others for the purpose
of personal and organizational growth. Empowering others by giving them
your authority has the same effect as sharing information: You haven‘t lost
anything. You have increased the ability of others without decreasing yourself.
It is a win-win situation for you and the people you empower.

Qualifications of an Empowerer

Position
You cannot empower people whom you don‘t lead. Others can encourage, but
permission comes only from an authority figure: a parent, boss, or leader.
To empower people, you have to be in a position of power over them.

Relationship
When you value people and your relationships with them, you lay the
foundation for empowering others.

Respect
Mutual respect is essential to the empowerment process. When you believe in
people, care about them, and trust them, they know it. And that respect
inspires them to want to follow where you lead.

Commitment
People must believe that a task is inherently worthwhile if they are to be
committed to it.

Questions to ask before you get started


1. Do I believe in people and feel that they are my organization‘s most
appreciable asset?
2. Do I believe that empowering others can accomplish more than
individual achievement?
3. Do I actively search for potential leaders to empower?
4. Would I be willing to raise others to a level higher than my own?

How to empower others to their potential

1. Evaluate them.
As you evaluate the people you intend to empower, look at these
areas:
 Knowledge
 Skill
 Desire

179
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

2. Model for them the attitude and work ethic you would like them to have.

3. Give them permission to succeed


You have to help others believe they can succeed and show them that
you want them to succeed by:
 Expecting it.
 Verbalizing it
 Reinforcing it

4. Transfer authority to them

5. Publicly show your confidence in them

6. Supply them with feedback

7. Release them to continue on their own

Influencing Checklist - EMPOWERING PEOPLE

Give others more than just something to do.


Before you officially start the empowering process, carefully plan your strategy
by using the following checklist:

 Describe the task?


 What knowledge does the task require?
 Does the person have the required knowledge?
 What skills does the task require?
 Does the person have the skills required?
 Have you modelled how you want the job done?
 Have you given the person the authority and permission to succeed?
 Have you publicly given the person your confidence?
 Have you privately supplied the person with feedback?
 Have you set a date to release the person to continue on his or her own?

Even when someone you empower becomes successful and is established in


performance, continue praising, encouraging, and showing your confidence
publicly.

(Adapted from “Becoming a Person of Influence” by John C. Maxwell & Jim Dornan)

180
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

10. A Person of Influence …REPRODUCES OTHER


INFLUENCERS
Reproducing leaders
 Raises your influence to a new level.
 Raises the new leaders‘ personal potential.
 Multiplies resources
 Ensures a positive future for you organization.

To Awaken the Reproducer in You


 Lead yourself well
 Look continually for potential leaders
 Put the team first

Seven Questions For A Successful Team Orientation

1. Do I add value to others?


2. Do I add value to the organization?
3. Am I quick to give away the credit when things go right?
4. Is our team consistently adding new members?
5. Do I use my ―bench‖ (reserve) players as much as I could?
6. Do many people on the team consistently make important decisions?
7. Is our team‘s emphasis on creating victories more than producing
stars?

Commit yourself to developing leaders, not followers.

Moving from maintenance to multiplication

Many people live in maintenance mode. Their main goal is to keep from losing
ground rather than trying to make progress. If you want to make an impact,
you must strive to be a multiplier. Here are the five stages that exist between
maintenance and multiplication, starting with the lowest:

1. Scramble - Spending most of the time scrambling to find people to


replace the ones they lose. They can‘t seem to keep anyone they
recruit. About 20 percent of all leaders live in this level.

2. Survival – Leaders do nothing to develop their people, but they do


manage to keep the people they have. About 50 percent of all
organizational leaders function this way.

3. Siphon – About 10 percent of all leaders work at developing their


people but neglect to build their relationship with their people. As a

181
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

result, potential leaders are siphoned off from the organization as they
leave to pursue other opportunities.

4. Synergy – An organization on the synergy level has great morale and


high job satisfaction. Everyone benefits. Only about 19 percent of all
leaders reach this level.

5. Significance – Only about 1 percent of all leaders make it to this level.


Many who reach the synergy level never try to go any farther because
they don‘t realize they can take one more step in the development
process, and that‘s the significance level where they develop leaders
who in turn develop leaders.

Influence Checklist - REPRODUCING OTHER INFLUENCERS

 Develop your own leadership potential


 Find people with leadership potential
 Teach the person to be a leader, not just perform tasks.
 Multiply. When the person becomes a good leader, help him/her select
someone to mentor in the area of leadership and find yourself a new
potential leader so that you can keep repeating the process.

(Adapted from “Becoming a Person of Influence” by John C. Maxwell & Jim Dornan)

182
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Learning points from instructional videos

183
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Identifying personality disorders

Solving Even More People Problems On the Job

The mark of successful managers isn't how well they fill out forms or deliver
motivational speeches. It's how well they work with people ... especially
difficult people.

Solving problems - without resorting to fear or intimidation is what sets good


managers apart. This program examines a variety of people problems
common to most workplaces, and shows techniques for coping with problem
behaviors ... and even changing them.

Part 1: Dealing With Common Workplace Behavior Problems

No organization can afford the damage that problem behaviors cause. Review
the eight people problems portrayed in the program and then apply these
three key steps to solving them to as many as you can:

1. Try to understand the problem person's motivation.


2. Control your emotions.
3. Make your position clear.

The "Guilt-Giver"
Characteristics:
1. Makes others feel guilty instead of confronting them or the problem.
In the program, George indirectly blames Louise for the team's failure
to meet its sales quota.

Solution:
1. State the problem. Joan tells George that his comments were unfair to
Louise.

2. Recognize what motivates the behavior. Joan recognizes that George


is frustrated about not receiving a bonus.

3. Condemn the behavior. Joan makes it clear that she won't tolerate
George's criticizing a team member.

4. Help problem people see their behavior from others' viewpoints. Joan
tells George that the team looks to him for inspiration and guidance and
that Louise must feel devastated after George, her role model,
degraded her.

184
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

5. Describe your expectations of the person. Joan wants George to take


Louise under his wing.
Discussion Point

How would you handle a guilt-giver among your staff?

The “Crank”
Characteristics:
 Belittles others when she doesn't like their decisions and blames
someone else when her own efforts fall short.
 Has trouble separating people from their actions and lashes out at
people when it's the system that's at fault.

Solution:
1. Recognize the person's motivation. Joan knows that Sherry is
concerned about the mailing.

2. Calmly make your position clear. Joan tells Sherry that blaming Alice is
out of line.

3. Provide the correct information. Joan investigates Sherry's complaint


and lets her know the delay's real cause.

Discussion Point

What are the positive attributes of this problem person's character?

185
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

The “Change-Resister"
Characteristics:
 Has been doing the job the same way for so long, he just can't accept
change.
 Has difficulty considering new approaches or suggestions.

Solution:
1. Recognize the person's motivation. Joan acknowledges that Harold
works hard in the shipping department to do his job well.

2. State the need for change. Joan lets Harold know that the organization
must cut delivery time in half to keep its customers.

3. Show how the change will benefit the resister. Joan tells Harold how
the new bar coding system will help track orders much easier.

Discussion Point

Does the change-resister's positive behavior and dedication to the


organization outweigh his negative attitude toward change?

The "Self-Promoter"
Characteristics:
 Always shifts the conversation to her agenda or sets up an opportunity
to show off her knowledge.

Solution:
1. Recognize the person's motivation. Joan recognizes Louise's
enthusiasm and desire to learn as much as she can about the
business.

2. Calmly state the problem. Joan tells Louise that the questions Louise
asks in meetings pull the team off track.

3. Provide positive direction. Joan asks Louise to bring all ideas to her
first, and to focus on team goals rather than just her own.

Discussion Point

How can you harness a self-promoter's knowledge so that she can impart her
wisdom onto other team members?

The next four problem people require a slightly different approach:


186
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

The "Naysayer"
Characteristics:
 Constantly shoots down new ideas and puts a damper on innovation
and creativity.

Solution:
1. Force naysayers to back up negative comments. Joan presses Harold
for details on why the idea failed before.

Tip: Often, you'll find that naysayers can't support their negative
comments, which forces them to back off.

2. Confront the naysayer about his negative behavior. Joan warns Harold
that if he doesn't change his attitude, people will stop asking his
opinion.

Discussion Points

What kind of impact does this person have on your team? What would be your
first step to change it?

The "Cynic"
Characteristics:
 Displays a negative attitude toward people and ideas because she
believes people always act out of self-interest.

Solution:
1. Ignore the cynical remarks and address the underlying complaint.
Louise contends that George will take all the credit for her research, but
Joan reassures her that everyone receives credit for their work.

Note: Keep in mind that cynics sometimes unearth real problems that
you may need to investigate. They also need strong proof that you are
going to address the concerns that are really bothering them.

Discussion Points

How often does your cynic come to you with complaints? Are they always
about the same person? What is the underlying problem between the two co-
workers?

187
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

The "Critic"
Characteristics:
 Voices his opinions honestly and frankly, but delivers his messages
with little tact or diplomacy.

Solution:
1. Help critics refine their delivery. Joan tells George that if he wants to
get his point across, he should deliver his criticism as if he were
speaking to the president of the company.

Discussion Points

Is the critic aware of the negative reaction he receives from his co-workers? If
he were made aware of it, do you think his criticism would be as harsh?

The "Hothead"
Characteristics:
 Can easily turn a discussion into a heated argument.
 The least amount of criticism can trigger an angry response and a well-
meaning suggestion can prompt a rage-filled tirade.

Solution:
1. Remind the hothead of your professional relationship and speak in a
calm, measured tone. Joan tells Sherry that she talks to her with
respect and expects the same treatment in return.

Tip: Do not take a hothead's anger personally, but remind her that you
both work for the good of the company, which leaves no room for
hotheadedness.

Discussion Points

Does this problem person have personal issues that might contribute to her
behavior at work? Is she going through a divorce, experienced a death in the
family, etc?

188
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Learning points from instructional video

189
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Managing difficult behaviour and poor performance

Part 2: Guidelines for Changing Problem Behavior

1. Change what people do, not who they are.


You can't change someone's personality. Example: Joan didn't ask Louise
- the "self-promoter" - to curb her enthusiasm or her desire to learn.
Instead, Joan asked Louise to bring her ideas directly to her, not the team.

2. Understand the problem person's motivation before acting.


Example: George-the" critic" --criticized Sherry's marketing idea harshly
because he thought it wouldn't help the team succeed.
Joan focused on helping George change his abrasive style, not his desire
for success.

3. Expect the best by setting high goals for yourself and others.
Example: When Harold-the "change resister"-resisted change, Joan
reminded him of the goal: cutting delivery time in half.

4. Model the behavior you want to see.


Example: When Sherry-the "hothead" launched into her angry tirade, Joan
remained calm and professional.

5. Adapt your approach to the behavior.


Examples: If you are trying to change a naysayer, press him for details on
why he believes an idea will fail or a procedure won't work.
If you're trying to change a self-promoter, focus her energy on the team's
goals rather than her own achievement.

6. Appeal to people's self-interests.


Some people want to know "What's in it for me?"
Example: When Joan spoke to Harold about using the bar coding system,
she pointed out how the change would benefit him.

190
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

7. Acknowledge improved behavior.


Constructive changes deserve praise. If you don't reward the change in
behavior, it may not last. Example: When George-the" guilt-giver" started
handing out compliments rather than guilt, Joan let him know publicly that
she appreciated his support... without referring to his earlier behavior.

8. Cut your losses.


Some people just won't change, and if the problem behavior is severe
enough, you may have to terminate the person's employment.
For people who don't report to you, when repeated attempts to change a
problem behavior fail, you have to decide if it's worth taking the problem to
their supervisor. If not, move on knowing you've given it your best try.

Four Tips for Avoiding & Managing Conflict

Any time you ask people to change their behavior, you risk conflict. We'd like
to leave you with four tips for avoiding – and managing - conflict.

1. Describe, don't judge, the objectionable behavior.

2. Frame the situation as a team problem, not a personal problem.

3. Avoid using intimidation or guilt.

4. Protect the person's dignity and self-respect.

191
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Case Study: Emotionally Intelligent Leadership

After almost 100 years of successfully selling the exact same product, Coca-
Cola decided to mix things up. Since its inception in 1886, the top-secret
Merchandise 7 formula for Coke had never been changed except for removing
a minute amount of cocaine in 1903. But in 1985, a secret marketing test of
190,000 consumers revealed to Coke‘s management that a lighter, sweeter
New Coke would compete more successfully with Pepsi.

We all know what happened after that. Coke had made what can arguably be
described as the worst marketing decision since Ford‘s Edsel. Of course,
Coke was able to regroup and turn the apparent fiasco into what some now
argue was the most brilliant marketing ploy – turning the media attention into
free publicity as it brought back its original product, now called Classic Coke.
The combination of New Coke and Classic Coke was a resounding victory
over Coke‘s closest rival, Pepsi.

However things turned out, the inaccuracy of the consumer test lay in a lack of
emotional intelligence in this particular project for an otherwise successful
company. The consumer test was well run but lacked sufficient depth in its
emotional component. The American consumer had a special connection to
Coke and the test failed to tap into this deep attachment. Even if New Coke
did better on taste tests, the divorce from the original would not be without
emotional consequence.

It was like the death of a father, according to Coca-Cola Chairman Roberto


Goizueta. ―You know you‘re going to be sad,‖ he said. ―You‘re never going to
know how sad you‘ll be – the depth of your sorrow – until he‘s dead.‖ If the
test marketing had been more emotionally intelligent, peering into the
consumers‘ feelings as well as their taste buds, this gargantuan mistake could
have been avoided.

Coke loyalists were up in arms at this marketing decision. Goizueta and his
associates has to admit their mistake in the glare of public censure. But, quick
on his feet, Goizueta was able to turn lemons into lemonade by renaming the
old standby Coca-Cola Classic and making it available alongside its new
sibling, New Coke.

As an emotionally intelligent executive, Roberto Goizueta was quick to


respond to the glitch in the curve. His reaction was not only responsible, it was
(equally important) responsive. Instead of getting into a defensive mode, he
accepted the new reality and embedded it into Coca-Cola‘s continuous
success curve.

Much of Goizueta‘s success was due to his ability to communicate with both
his staff, who were caught up in this marketing fiasco, and also with the public,
thorough the media. Lesser executives might have divorced themselves from
the problem area and shunned the media during such a crisis, but not as
192
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Goizueta, adept at understanding others‘ reactions and communicating with


that knowledge in mind.

Moral of the story? It is essential to integrate all the departments in a


concentrated team effort at accomplishing the best possible outcome. Since
the New Coke incident, Coca-Cola has invested a lot of effort in becoming
more pro-active, making Coca-Cola one of the ten best-performing companies
in recent years. Its novel marketing ideas (a dimpled Sprite bottle, a plastic
contour bottle and the introduction of two new competitive soft drinks) make it
even more successful in terms of revenue, net income and happier
shareholders.

But all this takes a team effort, form chemists to product development to
finance. Reports CEO Goizueta (according to news articles by Chris Roush),
we expect every employee to think creatively. I realize that the marketing side
or the product side is the one people see most. [But] some of these come
from engineering. Others come from marketing. Others come from
suggestions from our associates. It‘s not just new products or packaging‖
(1997, p.E4).

What are the specific qualities that contribute to the emotional intelligence of
this eminently successful leader? First of all, according to Roush, Goizueta
enjoys his role as a leader and offers a model for effective leadership.
Although modest and soft-spoken, he nonetheless ―thoroughly enjoys being in
charge… he‘s having a good time,‖ according to Frederick Allen, author of
Coca-Cola‘s history The Secret Formula (Roush, 1996, p.H3).

Goizueta is able to take responsibility for any problem and convert apparent
mistakes to advantage. He got directly involved, faced the reality of the facts
as they were and, with hardly a glitch, resolved into a marketing miracle what
could have been a disaster under less emotionally intelligent leadership. It
even left some marketing mavens wondering whether the whole fiasco was
engineered on purpose. Goizueta approached the problem boldly and created
success out of apparent failure.

Goizueta has the ability to bring out the best in others, helping them to grow
and develop themselves. He grooms his executives by moving them around to
furnish them with the experience he feels they need. His genuinely felt
concern for others results in a deep sense of loyalty from his staff members.
He fosters a sense of genuine honesty by encouraging his staff members to
be totally open with him. ―I used to fight with him all the time,‖ says former
Chief Financial Officer Sam Ayoub. ―The beauty about him is I could go and
close the door with him and tell him I disagreed with him. He doesn‘t like
cowards‖ (Roush, 1996, p. H3).

Goizueta is particularly sensitive to matching his staff members to projects for


which they‘re best suited. ―The chief executive has ultimate responsibility to
decide what to delegate and to whom,‖ he maintains. ―If you pick the right
person, you‘ll come out smelling like a rose‖ (Roush, 1996, p.H3).

193
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

(Adapted from Putting Emotional Intelligence to Work by David Ryback)

Discussion

Name four EQ competencies which is exhibited by Goizueta.

1.

2.

3.

4.

What are the ways in which Goizueta demonstrates high EQ?

How does Goizueta treat his staff?

What 3 EQ lessons can you learn from the case study?

194
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Case Study: Changing for the better at Nokia

Finnish mobile telephone giant Nokia has become a household name. As a


business, it has plenty to teach us about change: adapting to market forces,
taking opportunities, restructuring internally and a sequence of diversifications
and consolidations. The company has responded to (and made) many
changes, with some hard times along the way, to arrive at its present position
of market leader in the mobile phone market.

The Nokia company came into being in 1967 through the merger of existing
businesses trading in paper, rubber and cables for power and communication.
During the 1970s, the cable business led Nokia into research into
semiconductors and innovations and in digital telephone exchanges. These
led to the creation of the network infrastructure that would form the basis of
Nokia's success.

Nokia was quick to pick up on changes in Finnish legislation allowing the


creation of a car phone network. They created Nordic Mobile Telephony, the
world's first multinational cellular network. In the late 80S, a common standard
for digital mobile telephony was developed – GSM. Quick on the uptake
again, Nokia moved in and by 1991 supplied GSM networks to 59 operators in
31 countries.

During the 80s, Nokia diversified its business. It developed a diverse portfolio
of businesses, including TV and IT, but the subsequent recession of the early
90s hit the company hard. It changed tack, divesting its non-core interests and
choosing to concentrate solely on telecommunications. The strategy paid off:
in the eight years from 1992 to 2000 it went from being in the doldrums to
becoming a global leader in mobile telephony.

Discussion
1. What type of change program did Nokia implement?

2. How did Nokia respond to the changes in its environment?

3. What culture is demonstrated in Nokia?

195
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Team Profile
Please rate your team on the Excellent Very Good Fair Poor
following items good
1. Clarity of team goals.
2. Commitment to work towards
set goals.
3. Clarity of individual roles.
4. Effectiveness of team meetings.
5. Relationship between team
members.
6. Relationship with external
clients/suppliers.
7. Leadership skills of team leader.
8. Ability to work together as a
team.
9. Attitude of team.

10. Recognition for team


performance.
11. Recognition for individual
performances.
12. Problem-solving skills.

13. Suitability of resources used to


do the job.
14. Communication between team
members.
15. Feedback on team
performance.
16. Quality of team's output.

17. Ability to innovate.

18. Knowledge and skills of team


members.
19. Willingness to take appropriate
risks.
20. Ability to have fun.

Reproduced from: 103 Additional Training Games, Gary Kroehnert, McGraw-Hill Australia,
Sydney, Copyright 2001

196
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Test 1: Perceptual Logic

This tests how well you make logical decisions based upon visual information.
You are given a series of pictures, lines or diagrams. Your task is to see how
they go together, then work out which will be the next figure in the series. You
have to choose one from the four possible answers provided.

Example
Which comes next?

The answer is a) because one line is added each time. The long bar, which
slopes from right to left, is always added first.

If you are timing yourself you have 6 minutes to do as much as you can. Put
the correct answer in the box. Do not start the test until you are ready.

1. Which comes next? Answer: _________

197
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

2. Which comes next? Answer: _________

3. Which comes next? Answer: _________

4. Which comes next? Answer: _________

198
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

5. Which comes next? Answer: _________

199
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Test 2: Perceptual deduction

This tests how well you make a conclusion from visual information you have
been given. In one type of problem you are given an example of how two
pictures relate to one another and you have to see how the next picture
relates to one of the four possible answers provided. In the second type of
problem you have to see how one of the objects is different from the others.

Examples

Example 1: Answer: _________

Example 2: Which is the odd one out? Answer: _________

In Example 1 the answer is d) because the figure is inverted top to bottom and
left to right and the small circles are white instead of black in the same way as
the first two drawings related to each other.

In Example 2 the answer is b) because it is the only one where one figure
does not fit inside another and because both figures are the same size.

If you are timing yourself you have 6 minutes to do as much as you can. Do
not start the test until you are ready

200
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

1. Answer: _________

2. Which is the odd one out? Answer: _________

3. Which is the odd one out? Answer: _________

4. Which is the odd one out? Answer: _________

5. Which is the odd one out? Answer: _________

201
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

6. Answer: _________

202
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Sudoku
EXERCISING YOUR BRAIN: SUDOKU

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column, and every 3x3 box contains
the digits 1 through 9.

That's all there is to it. There's no math involved. The grid has numbers, but
nothing has to add up to anything else. You solve the puzzle with reasoning
and logic. Solving time is typically from 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your
skill and experience.

SUDOKU

Activity 1

1 5 8 7 4

6 1 7 3 9 2

7 2 5 9 1 8

4 3 9 7 1 6

7 1 5 2 4

5 2 1 8 4 3 9 7

3 1 9 2 8 6

7 5 8 2 1

2 5 8 6 3 1 4 7 9

203
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Activity 2
4 2 9 1 5 7 8

5 6 2 3 9 1 4

1 3 9 7 6 5

6 4 9 1 3 7

9 1 3 4 2 6

5 2 6 7 8 4 9 1

3 7 2 1 9

9 1 8 4 5 6 7 3

6 7 8 1 9 5 2

Activity 3
8 3 1 4 7 6

1 6 2 7 8 5 3

7 2 9 3 1 8

7 6 3 4 5 2 9

4 1 6 2 9 7 3

9 8 7 1 6 5 4

9 7 1 2 6 5

5 1 3 8 7 9 2

3 4 5 6 1 8 7

204
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Mission Impossible
(Challenging self-imposed assumptions)
Your task: You must successfully go through ALL the rooms in this
building which has 64 rooms and exit from the E room?
The conditions:
• You must only enter at S room and only exit at E room
• Every room (except for S room) has an agent which you can
overcome quite easily
• You ARE NOT allowed to return to any room which has an agent
• You are allowed to travel horizontally and vertically
• You must not make any diagonal movements and you are not
allowed to go out of the building and return

205
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

SURVIVAL
You and your companions have just survived the crash of a small
plane. Both the pilot and co-pilot were killed in the crash. It is mid-
January, and you are in Northern Canada. The daily temperature
is 25 below zero, and the night time temperature is 40 below zero.
There is snow on the ground, and the countryside is wooded with
several creeks criss-crossing the area. The nearest town is 20
miles away. You are all dressed in city clothes appropriate for a
business meeting. Your group of survivors managed to salvage
the following items:

1. A ball of steel wool


2. A small ax
3. A loaded .45-caliber pistol
4. Can of beans
5. Newspapers (one per person)
6. Cigarette lighter (without fluid)
7. Extra shirt and pants for each survivor
8. 20 x 20 ft. piece of heavy-duty canvas
9. Map of the area
10. One quart of 100-proof whiskey
11. A compass
12. Family-size chocolate bars (one per person)

Your task as a group is to list the above 12 items in order of


importance for your survival. List the uses for each.
You MUST come to agreement as a group.

206
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Solution: Activity 1

1 9 5 2 8 6 7 4 3
8 4 6 1 7 3 9 5 2
7 3 2 4 5 9 6 1 8
4 8 3 9 2 7 1 6 5
6 7 9 3 1 5 8 2 4
5 2 1 8 6 4 3 9 7
3 1 4 7 9 2 5 8 6
9 6 7 5 4 8 2 3 1
2 5 8 6 3 1 4 7 9

Solution: Activity 2

4 2 9 1 5 6 7 3 8
7 5 6 2 8 3 9 1 4
1 8 3 4 9 7 2 6 5
8 6 4 9 2 1 3 5 7
9 1 7 5 3 4 8 2 6
5 3 2 6 7 8 4 9 1
3 4 5 7 6 2 1 8 9
2 9 1 8 4 5 6 7 3
6 7 8 3 1 9 5 4 2

Solution: Activity 3

8 3 9 1 5 4 7 2 6
1 4 6 2 7 8 5 3 9
5 7 2 9 6 3 4 1 8
7 6 3 8 4 5 2 9 1
4 1 5 6 2 9 8 7 3
2 9 8 7 3 1 6 5 4
9 8 7 4 1 2 3 6 5
6 5 1 3 8 7 9 4 2
3 2 4 5 9 6 1 8 7

207
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

EXPLANATION FOR SURVIVAL EXERCISE

Mid-January is the coldest time of year in Northern Canada. The first problem
the survivors face is the preservation of body heat and the protection against
its loss. This problem can be solved by building a fire, minimizing movement
and exertion, using as much insulation as possible, and constructing a shelter.

The participants have just crash-landed. Many individuals tend to overlook


the enormous shock reaction this has on the human body, and the deaths of
the pilot and co-pilot increases the shock. Decision-making under such
circumstances is extremely difficult. Such a situation requires a strong
emphasis on the use of reasoning for making decisions and for reducing fear
and panic. Shock would be shown in the survivors by feelings of
helplessness, loneliness, hopelessness, and fear. These feelings have
brought about more fatalities than perhaps any other cause in survival
situations. Certainly the state of shock means the movement of the survivors
should be at a minimum, and that an attempt to calm them should be made.

Before taking off, a pilot has to file a flight plan which contains vital information
such as the course, speed, estimated time of arrival, type of aircraft, and
number of passengers. Search-and-rescue operations begin shortly after the
failure of a plane to appear at its destination at the estimated time of arrival.

The 20 miles to the nearest town is a long walk under even ideal conditions,
particularly if one is not used to walking such distances. In this situation, the
walk is even more difficult due to shock, snow, dress, and water barriers. It
would mean almost certain death from freezing and exhaustion. At
temperatures of minus 25 to minus 40, the loss of body heat through exertion
is a very serious matter.

Once the survivors have found ways to keep warm, their next task is to attract
the attention of search planes. Thus, all the items the group has salvaged
must be assessed for their value in signaling the group‘s whereabouts.

The ranking of the survivors items was made by Mark Wanvig, a


former instructor in survival training for the Reconnaissance School of the
101st Division of the U.S. Army. Mr. Wanvig currently conducts wilderness
survival training programs in the Minneapolis, Minnesota area. This survival
simulation game is used in military training classrooms.

208
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

RANKINGS

1. Cigarette lighter (without fluid)


The gravest danger facing the group is exposure to cold. The greatest need is for a
source of warmth and the second greatest need is for signaling devices. This makes
building a fire the first order of business. Without matches, something is needed to
produce sparks, and even without fluid, a cigarette lighter can do that.

2. Ball of steel wool


To make a fire, the survivors need a means of catching he sparks made by the
cigarette lighter. This is the best substance for catching a spark and supporting a
flame, even if the steel wool is a little wet.

3. Extra shirt and pants for each survivor


Besides adding warmth to the body, clothes can also be used for shelter, signaling,
bedding, bandages, string (when unraveled), and fuel for the fire.

4. Can of beans
This has many uses. A mirror-like signaling device can be made from the lid. After
shining the lid with steel wool, it will reflect sunlight and generate 5 to 7 million
candlepower. This is bright enough to be seen beyond the horizon. While this could
be limited somewhat by the trees, a member of the
group could climb a tree and use the mirrored lid to signal search planes. If they had
no other means of signaling than this, they would have a better than 80% chance of
being rescued within the first day. The empty can is useful in melting snow for
drinking water. It is much safer to drink warmed water than to eat snow, since warm
water will help retain body heat. Water is important because dehydration will affect
decision-making. The can is also useful as a cup.

5. 20 x 20 foot piece of canvas


The cold makes shelter necessary, and canvas would protect against wind and snow
(canvas is used in making tents). Spread on a frame made of trees, it could be used
as a tent or a wind screen. It might also be used as a ground cover to keep the
survivors dry. It‘s shape, when contrasted with the surrounding terrain, makes it a
signaling device.

6. Small ax
Survivors need a constant supply of wood in order to maintain the fire. The ax could
be used for this as well as for clearing a sheltered campsite, cutting tree branches for
ground insulation, and constructing a frame for the canvas tent.

7. Family size chocolate bars (one per person)


Chocolate will provide some food energy. Since it contains mostly carbohydrates, it
supplies the energy without making digestive demands on the body.

8. Newspapers (one per person)


These are useful in starting a fire. They can also be used as insulation under
clothing when rolled up and placed around a person‘s arms and legs. A
newspaper can also be used as a verbal signaling device when rolled up in a
megaphone-shape. It could also provide reading material for recreation.

9. Loaded .45-caliber pistol


The pistol provides a sound-signaling device. (The international distress signal is 3
shots fired in rapid succession). There have been numerous cases of survivors going
209
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

undetected because they were too weak to make a loud enough noise to attract
attention. The butt of the pistol could be used as a hammer, and the powder from the
shells will assist in fire building. By placing a small bit of cloth in a cartridge emptied
of its bullet, one can start a fire by firing the gun at dry wood on the ground. The
pistol also has some serious disadvantages. Anger, frustration, impatience,
irritability, and lapses of rationality may increase as the group awaits rescue. The
availability of a lethal weapon is a danger to the group under these conditions.
Although a pistol could be used in hunting, it would take an expert marksman to kill
an animal with it. Then the animal would have to be transported to the crash site,
which could prove difficult to impossible depending on its size.

10. Quart of 100 proof whiskey


The only uses of whiskey are as an aid in fire building and as a fuel for a torch (made
by soaking a piece of clothing in the whiskey and attaching it to a tree branch). The
empty bottle could be used for storing water. The danger of whiskey is that
someone might drink it, thinking it would bring warmth. Alcohol takes on the
temperature it is exposed to, and a drink of minus 30 degrees Fahrenheit whiskey
would freeze a person‘s esophagus and stomach. Alcohol also dilates the blood
vessels in the skin, resulting in chilled blood belong carried back to the heart,
resulting in a rapid loss of
body heat. Thus, a drunk person is more likely to get hypothermia than a sober
person is.

11. Compass
Because a compass might encourage someone to try to walk to the nearest town, it
is a dangerous item. It‘s only redeeming feature is that it could be used as a reflector
of sunlight (due to its glass top).

12. Map of the area


This is also among the least desirable of the items because it will encourage
individuals to try to walk to the nearest town. It‘s only useful feature is as a ground
cover to keep someone dry.

How to score
Each team should list its top 5 choices in order prior to seeing the answer sheet. To
award points, look at the ranking numbers on this answer sheet. Award points to
each team‘s top choices according to the numbers here. For example, the map
would earn 12 points, while the steel wool would earn 2 points. Lowest score wins
(and survives).

210
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Case Study: Emotionally Excellent Leadership


Developing Emotional Excellence in Our Work and Home

1. When Emperor asked Maximus to describe his home, he was looking into
Maximus heart because the way a man treats his home-life tells us a lot of
his attitude to his r _____________

High EE leadership give priority to their life at h_______

2. Maximus response to immediately stand up when the Emperor‘s said ―I


have one more duty for you‖ tells us of a man who does not take
advantage of others niceness to him. We call this the philosophy of

O____ No M____

Living out this philosophy in our live means to live

___________________________________________________________

3. When Maximus turned down the offer to be Emperor after Marcus dies, he
shows that High EE Leaders are more aware of

R_________ rather than P____________

Low EE leaders on the other hand would value P______ above R_______

4. When the Emperor says ―That is why it must be you‖ teaches that we are
the right person for a job/promotion when others can recognize it. Although
it is not wrong to better oneself with right ambition, we need to be alert to a
wrong and greedy attitude towards getting recognition from others.

5. a) Comodus looking at his father‘s statute desires his face to be on the


statute. This shows that Comodus has Deficit Motivation because he
lacked inner s_________________

b) In his inner dialogue, he felt that his present status as Crown Prince did
not give him the due importance he deserves.

c) Application: It is good for us to spend some time to examine our inner


motivation in the things we want to do with our life

211
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

6. Emperor Marcus tells Comodus that he is giving the throne to Maximus,


Comodus cannot hear the rest of his father‘s words after hearing Maximus
name. He feels Maximus has robbed him of his s_____________
(importance) when in fact it was largely caused by his own immaturity.

Application: we need to check our hearts when we think of perceived


enemies, especially our peers (colleagues/friends at same level as us)
who have hurt us in some way.

7. Comodus tells his father he has courage but dares not fight in the
battlefield. This shows Low EE individuals can suffer from s_____ -
d_______

8. Comodus asks his father: ―What is it in me you hate so much?‖


We need to be careful that when faced with conflicts we do not always
blame others but rather that we do more self-e____________ to check for
which parts we contributed towards the conflicts

9. Marcus says ―Your faults as a son is my failure as a father‖.


He accepted his part of the responsibility in his failure as a father.

10. Comodus states that one hug from the father would have been like the sun
in his life.
Learning points:

a) All children desire their father‘s approval. Your action plan: Spend
sufficient time disciplining your children especially between the age of
_______________________ years old

b) All new employees desire favour with their leaders


Implement a fair and firm work culture in the first ____ months of the
employee life in your organization.

11. Comodus claims that he would ―butcher the whole world if only his father
would love him‖. This shows an individual who practices the low EE
philosophy called the M_________________ Philosophy

12. As Comodus kills his father, he sheds tears of anger.

Low EE individuals b________ everyone else for their bad actions.

212
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Learning points from instructional videos

213
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Building an Emotionally
Intelligent Team Based
on Psychological
Principles

214
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Importance of EQ to team effectiveness

Case Problem: Memo Warfare

OFFICE MEMO

TO: Office Staff of Balta Construction


FROM: Sherm Balta, president
SUBJECT: Budget overrun on fax charges

It has been brought to my attention that we are now 34% over budget on fax
expenses, with a full one third of the year remaining. Somehow this abuse of
fax privileges must stop. This is certainly no way to run a construction
company. I see three alternatives facing us. Number one, we can close down
the construction company for the year, thus avoiding any more fax expenses
(an alternative most of you would not enjoy). Number two, we can stop using
faxes for the rest of the year. Number three, we can all develop a responsible
and mature approach to budget management by making more prudent use of
the fax machine.

OFFICE MEMO

TO: Sherm Balta


FROM: Yukiko Inose
SUBJECT: Your memo about fax machine use

I read your recent memo with dismay, since it is my department that makes
extensive use of the fax machine. We use faxes for very important purposes
such as getting cost updates to clients in a hurry. Are we in the business of
keeping our clients informed about their construction costs or in the business
of pinching quarters on fax machine costs?

215
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

OFFICE MEMO

TO: Yukiko Inose


FROM: Sherm Balta, president
SUBJECT: Your response to my memo about fax costs

It is obvious to me, Yukiko, that you are resisting the philosophy of budgeting.
In today's business world, both the Bechtels and the Balta Construction
companies must learn to respect the limits imposed by budgets. Perhaps it is
time that you and I had a serious discussion about this matter. Please make
an appointment to see me at your earliest convenience.

CASE QUESTIONS

1. What is revealed by this incident? Low Emotional Intelligence or High


Emotional Intelligence?

2. Rewrite Balta's first memo in such a way that it will be less likely to make
Inose defensive.

3. Rewrite Inose's memo in such a way that it will be less likely to make Balta
counter-defensive.

216
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Assessing your emotional intelligence


Complete the Boston EIQ (short version) to assess your current level of EI
and identify those capabilities that you need to work on. Use the EI
development plan to help you focus your energies.

The Boston EI Questionnaire


The following questions are designed to help you establish just how aware
you are of your emotional responses and how well you use your emotional
intelligence.

The questionnaire shows a 5-step model of EI. For each question tick the box
that come closest to how you feel about the answer.

A B C D
1. Can you tell when your mood
Always Sometimes Rarely Never
is changing?
2. Do you know when you are
Always Sometimes Rarely Never
becoming defensive
3. Can you tell when your
emotions are affecting your Always Sometimes Rarely Never
performance?
4. How quickly do you realize you
Very Not very
are starting to lose your quickly quickly
Slowly Very slowly
temper?
5. How soon do you realize that
Straight- Usually too
your thoughts are turning away
Quite soon After a while
late
negative?
6. Can you relax when you are Very
Quite easily Hardly ever Not at all
under pressure? easily
7. Do you just get on with things
Usually Sometimes Not usually Never
when you are angry?
8. Do you engage in self-talk to
vent feelings of anger or Often Sometimes Rarely Never
anxiety?
9. Do you remain cool in the face
of others‘ anger or Always Usually Occasionally Never
aggression?
10. How well can you concentrate
Very well Quite well Just about Not at all
when you are feeling anxious?
11. Do you bounce back quickly
Always Sometimes Occasionally Never
after a setback?
12. Do you deliver on your Without
Quite often Rarely Never
promises? fail

217
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

13. Can you kick start yourself into Yes, Yes,


Not often No, never
action when appropriate? always sometimes
14. How willingly do you change
the way you do things when Very Quite Very
Quite willingly
current methods are not willingly reluctantly reluctantly
working?
15. Are you able to lift your energy
level to tackle and complete Always Usually Rarely Never
boring tasks?
16. Do you actively seek ways of Yes,
Yes, often Not often Never
resolving conflict? sometimes
17. To what extent do you
A great To some
influence others about the way extent extent
Very little None
things are done?
18. How willing are you to act as a Very Can be Quite Not at all
spokesperson for others? willing persuaded reluctantly willing
19. Are you able to demonstrate
Always Sometimes Rarely Never
empathy with others‘ feelings?
20. To what extent do you find that
others trust and confide in Frequently Occasionally Hardly ever Never
you?
21. Do you find yourself able to
Yes,
raise morale and make others Yes, often
sometimes
Rarely Never
feel good?
22. How freely do you offer help Not freely
Very freely Quite freely Reluctantly
and assistance to others? at all
23. Can you sense when others
Yes,
are feeling angry or anxious always
Yes, often Hardly ever Never
and respond appropriately?
24. How effective are you at
communicating your feelings Very Quite Not very Not at all
to others?
25. Do you contribute to the
management of conflict and Yes,
Yes, often Rarely Never
emotion within your workgroup sometimes
or family?

Extracted from “Emotional Intelligence Pocketbook” by Margaret Chapman

218
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Marking your answers

Give yourself 4 points for each box ticked in column A, 3 points for each box
ticked in column B, 2 for C and 1 for D. Enter the scores in the boxes below
and fill in the totals.

Question

1 2 3 4 5 Total (Questions 1 – 5)
Your score for Self-Awareness

6 7 8 9 10 Total (Questions 6 – 10)


Your score for Emotion
Management

11 12 13 14 15 Total (Questions 11 – 15)


Your score for Self-Motivation

16 17 18 19 20 Total (Questions 16 – 20)


Your score for Relationship
Management

21 22 23 24 25 Total (Questions 21 – 25)


Your score for Emotional
Coaching

If you scored 17 or more on any dimension you seem to shape up pretty well.
A score of 13 to 16 indicates some remedial work is necessary. 12 to 9 roll up
your sleeves. 8 or less means oh dear! But do not despair whatever your
score. Now that you understand emotional intelligence you will be able to
develop your own EI.

219
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

EI Development Plan
5 Steps to My EI How am I What do I When am I
Emotional development going to need to help going to
Intelligence goal(s) are achieve my me? achieve my
goal(s) Support/ goal(s)
Development Resources Time-scales
actions
1. Self-
awareness

2. Emotion
manage-
ment

3. Self-
motivation

4. Relationship
manage-
ment

5. Emotional
coaching

Extracted from “Emotional Intelligence Pocketbook” by Margaret Chapman

220
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Learning points from instructional videos

221
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Motivating a high performance team

Powerful ways to persuade people


How many times a day do you use your powers of persuasion? Chances are,
more times than you think. Any time you introduce an idea or make a point in
a meeting, request help from a co-worker, ask your boss to trust your
judgment or try to convince customers you have what they need, you're
persuading. It's all about selling yourself and winning others over.

Part I: Using Logic, Credibility and Passion


The program's first scene shows a meeting in which Roberta, a customer
service representative, is trying to persuade her coworkers that a proposed
computer system won't do her department much good. Initially, she fails to
convince them because her argument lacks the three key ingredients of
persuasion: logic, credibility and passion.

1. Logic. To persuade, you must show why you feel the way you do and give
your listeners reason to feel the same way. To lend logic to your argument,
you can use:

 Evidence.
 Statistics.
 Observed events.
 Specific examples.
 Solid reasoning.

Roberta is much more convincing when she cites customer needs (evidence),
reminds her listeners of difficulties the last computer upgrade caused
(observed events) and points out that the current system works fine and any
change would disrupt it (solid reasoning).

2. Credibility. Your listeners also must find you believable. They need to feel
you're qualified to make the points you want them to accept. The sources
of credibility are:

 Trustworthiness. If your ideas have a successful track record, your


audience is more likely to trust what you say.

 Credentials. Professional training or education can make you


credible.

 Experience. Your work history over the years or even a single


relevant event can show your listeners you know what you're talking
about.

222
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

 Association. You can gain believability by citing the opinions and


findings of others who are accepted as credible, such as experts in
the field or respected reference sources.

In the previous scene, Roberta established her credibility by citing her


experience with a previous computer upgrade. She then turned to Matt, the
company's computer expert, for agreement. That gave her credibility by
association, at least for a moment.

Later in the scene, we see Ed also using credibility by association-and


evidence when he cites a recent industry survey to counter Roberta's
arguments. And he recalls his experience with another company that failed to
upgrade in time. In other words, he uses events he's observed, as well as a
specific example, to support his position.

3. Passion. Intellectual arguments can be rational and believable, but they


aren't very convincing unless you let your excitement show through.
Passion lends interest to your message, and it's contagious. To radiate
passion and energy:

 Ask yourself "Why is this important?" Reminding yourself why you


care just before you begin speaking will help you raise your
excitement level.

 Vary your voice tone and volume. Let your listeners hear the
passion in your voice as you change its tone and raise and lower its
volume.

 Support your message with nonverbal communication. Smile,


raise your eyebrows to punctuate a point, make eye contact with
your audience to establish a personal relationship and use gestures
to help illustrate your message.

In the program, it's clear that Debra is excited about the proposed computer
upgrade. Her voice varies in intensity and volume and so does her speech
tempo. She lends animation to her words by using her hands.

Training Exercises:

1. List three logical points you can make to support a proposal you plan to
make.

2. Describe two ways you can establish your credibility.

223
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

3. List three techniques for showing excitement about your proposal that you
feel most comfortable using.

Part II: Know Your Audience


Too often, we ask for something without considering why the listener should
care. Instead, we should focus on what the listener can gain from granting our
request or agreeing with our idea. When preparing your argument, ask
yourself two questions:

1. Are they aware of the problem or the opportunity? If your audience isn't
familiar with the issue you're presenting, you'll have to convince them the
problem or opportunity exists before you can ask them to accept your
proposal.

2. Can they do something about it? If your audience doesn't think the
problem or opportunity affects them, you must show them how it does. And
if they think they can't do anything about the situation, you'll have to
change their minds.

Training Exercise:
Draft two questions to help you determine whether your audience is aware of
the problem or opportunity your proposal addresses and whether they believe
they can do something about it.

224
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Part III: Prepare, Ask, Sell


The best way to persuade is not to push your ideas on your audience but to
let them discover for themselves the benefits of agreeing with you. In this
section of the program, the host introduces the following three-step method for
building a persuasive case.

Step 1: Prepare. Start your planning by identifying what you want and what
your audience wants. Ask yourself two questions:

1. "What do I really want to accomplish?


Clearly define your purpose in your own mind before trying to explain it
to others. Then, think of the most effective way to express that point.
Strong action words can help you catch your audience's attention. For
instance, Matt uses "streamline," "ignore changes" and "risk losing
more customers" to make his listeners sit up and take notice.

2. "What's in it for the audience?"


To convince your audience, you must be prepared to show them what
they can gain from agreeing with you. Matt motivates his listeners by
mentioning the possibility of bigger commissions and bonuses.

Once you've identified what the audience wants, you have to show them how
your plan will help them get it. To connect your plan to the audience's
interests:

 Brainstorm benefits the audience will gain. Note as many advantages as


you can so you have plenty of persuasive points to work with.

 Pick the top three benefits. Don't overwhelm your audience with too many
promises. Three is a manageable number for most listeners. In the
program, you see that Matt has narrowed his field of benefits to "easier
processing," "less stress" and "better customer service."

225
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Step 2: Ask. If you do all the talking, you won't be very convincing.
Remember, your audience needs to feel in control of their decisions, so ask
them for their feedback. You'll not only involve them but also gather
information to help make your case. Ask questions to:

 Uncover what your audience needs. Don't assume you know what your
listeners want, ask them. If their response confirms the benefits you picked
in Step I, you're right on target. If it doesn't, you'll have to uncover new
benefits before you proceed to Step 3.
o Matt knows his main task will be to convince Roberta, so he
asks her what her customer service department needs most.
Roberta's answer, "More people," helps him figure out his next
tack.

 Break down resistance. Roberta begins to see that Matt cares about her
opinions, so she's more inclined to listen to his ideas. With his next
question, Matt wins over Roberta by suggesting that the proposed
computer upgrade could provide the same benefits as adding customer
service representatives.

 Keep from dominating the conversation.


o More words don't add up to greater persuasion. Remember,
your audience needs to feel a part of the discussion, so turn it
over to them to keep them involved and thinking about your
message.
 In the exchange between Matt and Roberta, she does most of the talking.
By asking key questions, Matt controls the conversation and gathers
information he can use to press his point.

Step 3: Sell. If you've done your work in steps 1 and 2, now's the time to pitch
your idea. You may even find that your audience is already convinced. If
they're not, you'll need to give them good reasons to go along with you.

The main lesson: Never ask anyone to do something without telling them why.

Use these techniques to give your audience reason to agree:

 Use a "because" statement. Matt makes a dramatic-and persuasive-


point when he asks his audience to act now because failing to upgrade will
give competitors an edge and could cost them customers.

 Use the "third statement." To show how your idea matches the
audience's goals, layout your argument in three steps:

o First Statement: Make your proposal.


o Second Statement: Present your evidence.

226
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

o Third Statement: Link your proposal to a shared goal or basic


audience belief.

Using this method, Matt:

 Asks for approval to recommend a new computer system (first


statement).

 Points out that the company's competitors already are upgrading


(second statement).

 Shows that a computer upgrade could help the company avoid losing
customers (third statement).

Two other points to remember when presenting your proposal:


 You can pitch it either as "Let's fix what's broken" or as "Let's build on our
success." In the program, Matt focused on fixing a problem. But to
persuade the group to accept improvements in the future, he might want to
point to the success of this year's upgrade.

 Keep it simple. As soon as you can see you've convinced your audience,
end your argument with a clear, direct request for action. Never leave your
audience wondering what you want them to do. Matt leaves no doubt when
he asks his listeners to supp6rt his recommendation for a new computer
system.

Training Exercises:

1. Create a statement that clearly defines to you and your audience what
your proposal will accomplish. Choose strong action words to motivate
your audience.

2. List all the possible benefits of your plan. Pick the three you think would be
most important to your audience.

3. Devise at least three questions to involve your audience and lead the
conversation in the direction you WANT. Determine how you can use the
answers to bolster your argument.

4. Make sure you give your audience a reason for your proposal. Use a
"because" statement or a "third statement" to show your audience why
they should agree with you.

227
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Part IV: Manage Your Audience's Choices


The final key concept of persuasion is to manage your audience's choices.
Remember: Real persuasion means allowing your audience to make their own
decisions. But, by managing your audience's choices, you can lead them to
make the decisions you want them to make. Use these techniques to manage
your audience's choices:

 Limit the number of outcomes. When you give your listeners only two
choices-the positive result of accepting your proposal and the negative
outcome of rejecting it few will choose the downside.
Remember Roberta's view that the computer upgrade isn't what her
department needs? To win her co-workers' agreement, she outlines two
choices: spending a lot of money on an upgrade that may be unnecessary
or delaying the decision until they can gather more information. Obviously,
she's trying to lead the group to the latter, more cautious, approach.

 Influence the odds. The way you describe the options also can affect the
way your audience views them. Strong words like "never," "can't,"
"always," "true" and "right" influence listeners. Debra counters Roberta's
caution when she says "We'll never have another chance to lead the
industry if we wait."

 Describe the consequences. Show your audience how much they have
to gain from your proposal, what they have to lose by rejecting it and how
narrow their window of opportunity is. And make sure you compare the
outcome audience members fear most to the one they desire most. That's
what Ed does when he points out that the group could risk losing
customers, commissions and bonuses by not upgrading; or, they could
improve customer service and employee rewards by implementing the new
system.

 Time the rewards or penalties. If all your efforts to this point still haven't
persuaded everyone, it's good to have one last argument to pull out. Save
one important benefit for the end of the conversation, in case someone still
isn't convinced or you need to respond to last-minute objections. As the
meeting nears its close, Matt senses he still doesn't quite have Roberta's
agreement. His last point that the current system is obsolete and can't be
serviced or repaired-finally wins her over.

228
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Training Exercises:

1. Outline your plan's most positive and most negative outcomes. Present the
two options using strong words, such as "never" or "always," to increase
their impact.

2. Describe the benefits of agreeing with your proposal, the consequences of


not agreeing with it and the reasons your audience should adopt the
proposal now.

3. Pick one benefit to hold in reserve. Determine when and how you'll use it.

Summary:
Effective persuasion is a matter of presenting choices and directing your
audience to the one you desire. To do that, you must learn to study your
audience, determine their interests and show the benefits of your ideas. It
takes time and careful planning to build a logical, credible and passionate
case.
By committing to that effort, you can greatly improve your effectiveness and
value to your organization. And, you'll expand your influence in every facet of
your life.

229
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Building unified teams

Motivation Case Study 1: The Incentive Hassle


Pat Lancaster founded Lantech in 1972. The company manufactures
machines for wrapping large bundles of products, such as breakfast cereal, in
plastic film for shipment to retailers. Today the company has 325 employees
and annual sales of about $65 million.

Lancaster was among the pioneers in company-wide incentive pay.


During the mid-1970s, Lantech employees were requested to evaluate one
another's job performance. Bonuses were distributed according to workers'
scores on these evaluations. The program created so much tension that it was
disbanded. Faced with tough competition in the 1980s, Lancaster was
determined to make incentive pay work. He also implemented other modern
management practices such as just-in-time inventory.

At one time, each of Lantech's five manufacturing divisions was given a


bonus based on how much profit it made. A worker could receive a bonus up
to as much as 10 percent of base pay. The interdependence of the divisions,
however, made it difficult to assess an equitable share for each division. "That
led to so much secrecy, politicking, and sucking noise you wouldn't believe it,"
says CEO Jim Lancaster, the 29-year old son of chairman Pat Lancaster.

An example of interdependency is between the division that


manufactures standard machines and the one that adds custom design
features to them. The two divisions depend on each other for parts,
engineering expertise, and scheduling. The two groups entered into conflict,
each one attempting to assign costs to the other and claim credit for
revenues.

Pat Lancaster recalls, "By the early 1990s I was spending 95 percent of
my time on conflict resolution instead of on how to serve our customers." The
divisions argued so long over who would be charged for overhead cranes to
haul heavy equipment that their installation was delayed two years. At the end
of each month, the divisions would scurry to fill orders from other divisions in
the company. As a result, the division that filled the order would earn a profit,
but the recipient of the orders was left with piles of unnecessary and costly
inventory.

Some employees even argued over who should have to pay for paper
toweling in the common restrooms. One employee suggested that employees
from another division had dirtier jobs so they should absorb more of the costs
for hand soap.

Pat Lancaster concluded, "Incentive pay is toxic because it is open to


favoritism and manipulation." As a consequence, Lantech has abandoned
230
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

individual and division performance pay. Instead it relies on a profit-sharing


system in which all employees receive bonuses based on salary. Much of the
anger has subsided, and the company is prospering. However, bonuses are
still paid to executives and sales representatives.

Source: Based on facts reported in Peter Nulty, "Incentive Pay Can Be Crippling,- Fortune (13
November 1995): 235.

CASE QUESTIONS

1. What mistakes did Lantech make in designing and implementing the


company incentive system?

2. Lantech really abandoned incentive pay for all workers?

3. Should the company continue its incentive program for executives and
sales personnel?

231
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Motivation Case Study 2: Frenzy At The Date Book


Company
John Cotter, a book bindery operator for the Date Book Company in Brooklyn,
New York, was talking to a sales representative from McCain Book Binding
Equipment. The McCain sales rep informed him that the brother of the owner
of Date Book was buying some of his competitor's equipment to set up a book
binding plant in nearby New Jersey. After the sales rep left, John spoke to one
of the other senior operators, Lorraine Parsons.

"Lorraine, the salesman from McCain Book Binding just told me the
owner's brother is setting up a book binding plant in New Jersey. You know
how the owner is always complaining about the union. I bet that as soon as
the New Jersey plant is up and running, they will shift work over there. I heard
they are not going to have a labor union. We will all be out looking for jobs.
Let's call a meeting of all of the operators tomorrow after work at the union
meeting hall."

Twenty-two people were at the meeting the following day. John was the
first to speak. With anger in his voice, he said: "We have all worked hard for
the Date Book Company. Now the owner is setting up a non-union bindery to
save a few dollars on wages. We will all be out of a job in six months, and
there is little we can do about it. I suggest we all start looking for new jobs. We
should also teach our employer a good lesson by ruining as much product as
possible before they shut us down."

Three weeks later, Peter Reynolds, the plant superintendent, walked


into the owner's office. He said, "I don't know what's going on. I had to reject
another large batch of date books due to another bindery error. We have had
more spoiled product in the last two weeks that we had all last year. Another
problem is that two of our most experienced operators quit with no
explanation.

"We now not only have to worry about your brother opening up a
competitive business, we also have to solve our manufacturing problems."

Larry Stagliano, the owner, responded to Peter: "Why didn't you tell me
about the spoilage problem before today? I think I know what's going on. Two
weeks ago Arnie, the maintenance man who has worked here for 25 years,
told me about a rumor running through the shop. According to the story, I was
building the plant with my brother and I was going to close down our bindery
operation.

"I figured the rumor would run its course, and that maybe those highly
paid bindery operators needed a good scare. I had no idea they would start
ruining product and quitting."

Source: Case researched by Cliff Grinell, Rochester Institute of Technology.

232
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

CASE QUESTIONS

1. What mistakes did Stagliano make in dealing with the rumor he heard from
the maintenance man?

2. What should Stagliano and Reynolds do now to prevent any further


damage from the rumor?

3. What should management do to minimize the chances of employees


acting on the basis of false rumors in the future?

233
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Motivation Case Study: The Formula 409

Wilson Harrell is the former president of the company that manufactured


Formula 409, the spray cleaner. He is now a consultant and speaker to
entrepreneurial businesspeople. Harrell recalls how Formula 409 was
competing profitably against spray cleaners made by industry giants such as
Proctor & Gamble and Colgate.

From the beginning, Harrell had employed a simple incentive plan


based on case sales. Each month, every sales representative and manager
received a bonus check based on the number of cases of 409 he or she sold.
Bonuses for the support staff were also based on monthly case sales. Harrell
recalls, "It was a happy time, with everyone making a lot of money, including
me."

Yet as the company grew toward becoming a large company, Harrell


looked critically at his compensation plan. He attended seminars and read
business books with the intent of learning how to run his company more
effectively. Harrell also hired a business consultant. The consultant was
horrified at Harrell's incentive plan, especially at how much money so many
employees were making. He explained how dangerous it was to pay bonuses
before year-end profits could be accurately predicted. The consultant
recommended that Harrell abandon the monthly case-sales bonus plan, and
institute an annual profit-sharing plan based on performance appraisals.

Harrell studied the recommendations about revamping the sales-


incentive plan. He decided to make the switch despite some reluctance about
abandoning an incentive system that was working well.

Source: Based on information reported in Wilson Harrell, "Inspire Action: What Really Motivates Your
People to Excel?" Success (September1995): 100.

CASE QUESTIONS

1. What effect do you think the new sales-incentive plan had on productivity,
morale, and turnover?

234
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

2. What principles of behavior modification might be violated by the new


incentive plan?

3. Why might money be a key motivator for people selling cases of spray
cleaner?

235
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Learning points from instructional videos

236
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

EQ for building trusting relationships

Any kind of nurturing relationship takes skill and commitment to maintain. In


our fast-paced global environment we are constantly meeting new people.
This calls for us to be competent in social skills so as to create positive
rapport for productive outcomes.

EQ Principles of Relationships

EQ Principle 1: Accepting Ourselves and Others Means Finding Serenity in


Our Relationships

Accepting in this context does not mean that you agree with or condone
others' behavior. It means that you understand that life's experiences have
shaped a person's attitudes in a way which may not be positive to you.
Accepting differences will help you to deal with an individual with more
respect, patience and love.

EQ Principle 2: Constructive Discontent can Add Jest and Vitality to A


Relationship

Caring for others' feelings is important and not being open and honest can
only make a relationship less authentic. To truly grow in any kind of
relationship requires agreeing without being disagreeable, in a productive
way.

EQ Principle 3: One Way that Relationships Flourish is through Commitment


to Finding Common Ground Where Everyone Gains

To gain is when you make an experience with another person mutually


valuable. Far too often, relationships are unbalanced in terms of how much
each person receives at a personal level.

EQ Principle 4: Trust is the Cornerstone in Relationship Building

Without trust the foundation is shaky. Words are powerful but action is all
encompassing. What you do and how you do it makes a big difference in how
people will respond.

237
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

EQ Principle 5: Having Gratitude for the People Who Have Taught Us


Important Lessons in Life

Everyone teaches us something. No matter how small or large, if we


recognize its value, it can give us wisdom.

EQ Principle 6: Letting Go of Relationships When Necessary

Having emotional maturity is being able to let go of things that are not working
or are not healthy. Relationships that are threatening or toxic and show
indication that they will not flourish must be let go of. Taking risks and learning
from your mistakes in relationships is the catalyst for interpersonal and
personal success.

EQ Principle 7: Forgiving Mends Fences and Builds Bridges

Two of the most difficult things for individuals to do is to forgive and to seek
forgiveness. There is a misconception about forgiveness. Many people think
that forgiving means being weak, or condoning a misdeed or action toward
them. Forgiveness means giving up your right to hurt back which makes you
more powerful and in control than ever before.

Through mutual respect, love and forgiveness we can work and live with
peace of mind. Otherwise, we live in an inner world of emotional turmoil.

(Source: “EQ in Building Relationships” by Dr Patricia Patton)

238
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Hold On to Precious Sleep


Mariam Alireza, Arab News

Arab News, Wednesday 23 May 2007

We all go through sleepless nights when we are excited and stimulated


physically, emotionally, or mentally and when the brain is highly aroused and
racing with negative thoughts, anxiety, and worries. We either toss and turn in
bed or stare blankly at the ceiling, coaxing ourselves to sleep. The more
anxious we are, the less likely we fall asleep. Sleep disorders have become
common conditions, getting worse with age. Though insomnia is not a life-
threatening problem, it can be quite devastating to those who experience it,
leading to fatigue, poor physical and mental performance, mental confusion,
depression, and possibly cancer.

To overcome insomnia and restless sleep, we require lifestyle modifications.


These include diet changes, environment improvement, regular activity, and
relaxation techniques, which lead to sweet dreams. You may want to ask,
―What has diet to do with sleep?‖

Certain foods or drinks interfere with your sleep cycle. I am quite certain many
of us have experienced a sleepless night due to a late cup of coffee or tea
though not everyone has the same reaction to caffeine. So the first
proscription is to avoid caffeine, alcohol, and sugar (sugar makes children
hyperactive) before bedtime. Caffeine is a stimulator and diuretic, compelling
you to void frequently at night. While some foods and nutrient deficiencies can
prompt restlessness and insomnia, others induce healthy sleep.

Tryptophan is an essential amino acid that is available in milk, eggs, cheese,


soybeans and its products, legumes, and meat (turkey in particular). The
nutrient is a precursor of the hormone serotonin, which influences sleep.
However, mixing many proteins of different sources does not necessarily
produce the desired effect. Eating too much protein causes tryptophan to build
muscles instead of make serotonin. Therefore, one helping of a tryptophan-
rich food is sufficient for dinner.

Low calcium and magnesium levels can lead to sleep loss, according to Jane
Guiltinan, ND, director of the Bastyr Women‘s Wellness Center, Seattle. Sleep
can be disturbed by muscle cramps due to calcium deficiency. Magnesium
insufficiency leads to restless legs syndrome (RLS), causing fidgeting and
sleeplessness. German researchers recommend 300mg of magnesium to
improve RLS and sleep. Dietary calcium and magnesium intake should be
increased by eating dairy products, dark leafy greens, nuts, and seeds.
Guiltinan recommends the supplement of 1,200mg of calcium and 300mg of
magnesium. They are absorbed better when divided in two doses (morning
and bedtime). Calcium uptake is improved at night.

239
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

The more known herbs for inducing slumber are valerian, Valerian officinalis,
chamomile, Matricaria recutita and Chamaemelum nobile, kava, Piper
methysticum, and passion flower, Passiflora incarnata. Their effect only lasts
four hours, but they calm anxiety and tension to improve sleep. Most of them
work better when taken regularly before bedtime.

Waking up should be gradual and smooth as it influences sleep quality. Light


should enter the room progressively and not suddenly flood the room; neither
should you be awakened by the drilling sound of an alarm clock. Why should
you be bullied to wake up? Your rising should be smooth to keep your mood
calm all day. Light therapy enhances sleep. It is important to fill your eyes with
the lights of dawn and twilight. The sun sets gently; so should you and the sun
rises progressively; so should you.

The evening should be time to prepare for bed. Complicated physical or


mental chores should be avoided. All activities should be stopped at least an
hour before bedtime. That hour should be dedicated to unwinding like
lounging with a cup of chamomile or valerian, reading a book, doing a
crossword puzzle, or watching a nonviolent, relaxing television program or
movie. Take a lukewarm bath with two cups of Epsom salt; it contains
magnesium to relax body tension.

Rather than rushing to swallow sleeping pills or tossing and turning in search
of sleep, try these natural approaches. They are your key to sweet slumber.
Sshh… Good night!

240
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Discussion Questions

1. What is the role of tryptophan for ensuring we get good sleep?

2. How can we ensure we get adequate tryptophan in our diet?

3. What are the important minerals which can assist us to get good sleep?

4. What foods/drinks do you need to avoid or at least minimize if you desire


healthy sleep?

241
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Emotionally Excellent Leadership Case Study: Jim Goodnight


Read the article below on Jim Goodnight, the founder, president and CEO of SAS
International. Answer the questions that follow.

Jim Goodnight, who was recently appointed to the International Advisory Panel (IAP)
for MSC Malaysia, is good at what he does. Goodnight is founder, president and
CEO of SAS International, the world‘s largest privately-owned software company. He
believes that "employees don‘t leave companies, they leave managers".

The way Jim Goodnight treats his employees is enough to make you weep. With
envy. Free on-site childcare, healthcare (for employees and dependants), fitness
centre (for employees and family), live piano-music at the company cafeteria and the
list goes on.

And there‘s even free M&Ms on Wednesday.

What wise philosophy could possibly have directed this corporate culture?

"It‘s very simple. We could expense these things on our taxes," he says. For a
corporation that‘s received numerous awards and high-ratings for its employee-
friendly corporate culture, this dollar-and-cent reply, unashamedly free of PR-speak,
was mind-blowing.

"Rather than having employees contribute money to have coffee, we decided we


would just buy the coffee, and write it off as an expense – take it off of our taxes.
That‘s every citizen of the world‘s obligation: To minimise how much taxes they pay.
Legally, of course," Goodnight says gravely, with a barely-discernible twitch of
mischief.

Goodnight almost seems bored talking about these employee perks which he started
in 1976, when he and three other North Carolina State University colleagues set up
SAS. At the time, there were four co-founders, and one secretarial assistant.

Everything he‘s done to make SAS a people-friendly workplace has been calculated
to achieve one objective: Increased productivity. An on-site healthcare facility cuts
down the time it takes an employee to go to a clinic by nearly an hour — time the
employee could have spent working.

Four on-site daycare centres at the 200-acre SAS world headquarters in Cary, North
Carolina, caters to over 850 children. Its purpose: to retain female employees who
wanted to "leave and go home and be a mum at home". At offices in other parts of
the world where the workforce isn‘t big enough to economically sustain on-site
facilities, SAS subsidises daycare.

A statistician and computer-programmer by training, Goodnight obviously got his


formula right from the start.

SAS earned US$1.9 billion (RM6.6 billion) last year, and has seen continued revenue
growth for every one of the 31 years it‘s been in business. It has 10,087 employees
worldwide in more than 400 offices globally, yet its employee turnover rate is a just 4
per cent, where the industry average is 20 per cent.

242
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

"My philosophy has always been: You either spend money on your employees, or
you spend the same amount of money on headhunters, recruiters, on training, on
lost-productivity," says Goodnight. "If somebody leaves, it might be a year before the
next person who replaces them can get to the same level or speed the previous
employee was moving at. So it‘s much better to retain employees than to spend
money on recruiting or training (replacements)."

For added measure, SAS set up the Worklife Programme, which helps employees
manage their lives "to make sure our employees‘ homelife doesn‘t spill into their
worklife". Luncheon seminars are held once-a-month on topics like "Managing Life"
and "Your Children Are Turning Teenagers — What Do You Do".

Goodnight believes the key to keeping good staff is to treat them with respect. The
mistake some employers make is in treating employees like children. For Goodnight,
imposing rules and time-clocks on employees is not the answer. "Everything we do
comes from the minds of our people. So when you have a good mind, you want to
make sure you retain it. Knowledge workers can‘t be treated the same as
manufacturing people are treated — where they have a time-clock to check in, and a
time-clock to check out. These are highly-educated people, and they‘re going to
resent that kind of thing. More than anything else, you want to create an environment
where people are respected — and treated like they‘ll make a difference."

Goodnight believes that if you treat people like they make a difference, then they will
make a difference. "I think the success of the company has been, to a large degree,
due to the benefits we provide because it has made our people very happy, to want
to stay on."

Outwardly, he sits like he doesn‘t give a damn what you throw at him. But his eyes
anticipate everything you might throw at him. Which isn‘t surprising, because SAS
designs and sells business intelligence and analytic software. Work is all about
anticipating and assessing situations.

SAS software is used by insurance companies to detect fraudulent claims and by


financial institutions to detect money-laundering as well as to score credit
applications.

But just as much as the Worklife Programme is supposed to keep homelife out of
worklife, Goodnight says he wants worklife not to spill into homelife. He himself works
a 9 to 5 shift, then goes home and spends the evening with his wife, Ann. He doesn‘t
bring work home, and he discourages his employees from working extra hours.

"Quite frankly, the type of programming that goes on in the employee‘s ninth and
tenth hour is usually thrown away the next day — it‘s usually not very good. You just
start making mistakes — you get sloppy. I would rather you go home and rest, and
come back fresh the next morning, instead of spending all morning correcting
mistakes made last night when you were too tired."

(Adapted from The New Straits–July 21, 2007)

243
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. After reading the article, what can you understand from Goodnight‘s view
that ―employees don‘t leave companies, they leave managers‖?

2. "Rather than having employees contribute money to have coffee, we


decided we would just buy the coffee, and write it off as an expense – take
it off of our taxes. That‘s every citizen of the world‘s obligation: To
minimise how much taxes they pay. Legally, of course.‖

Which LPI profile does this remind you off? Why?

3. How does the free M&M‘s on Wednesdays increase his employees‘


productivity?

244
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

4. Retaining senior employees may not be very cost-effective for a company


in the long run. Older workers too are more hesitant to adapt themselves
to new technological advancements and alternative ways of doing about
their duties.

How far do you agree with Jim Goodnight‘s view on retaining employees
rather than recruiting new ones?

5. SAS has set up measures to make sure that employees‘ homelife doesn‘t
spill into their worklife.

Anticipate which LPI profiles have the tendency to mix up both. What will you
do as an employer or a staff to handle this issue?

These LPI profiles have the tendency to mix up their homelife and worklife;

This is what I‘ll do as an employer / a staff of the company;

6. Goodnight has pointed out some employers‘ mistakes in treating their


employees like children. In which sense do employers do that?

245
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

7. "Everything we do comes from the minds of our people. So when you have
a good mind, you want to make sure you retain it…‖

In relation with your workplace, do you agree with his statement? Or do you
believe that there is more than good minds? Why?

8. More than anything else, you want to create an environment where people
are respected — and treated like they‘ll make a difference."

Imagine your company is in the brink of bankruptcy, or in a crisis, how do you


continue treating the employees with respect? How do you treat them like
they‘ll make a difference although you know there is nothing much to be
done?

9. Outwardly, he sits like he doesn‘t give a damn what you throw at him. But
his eyes anticipate everything you might throw at him.

Which LPI profile does he remind you of? Based on this profile‘s strengths,
how does it overcome its weaknesses?

246
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

10. Goodnight says he wants worklife not to spill into homelife. He himself
works a 9 to 5 shift, then goes home and spends the evening with his wife,
Ann. He doesn‘t bring work home, and he discourages his employees from
working extra hours.

Is it possible for the organization/company that you are working at to adapt


such practice?
If it‘s possible, how will you maintain or even increase the productivity rate?
If it‘s not possible, why is that so? Aren‘t the long working hours effect the
employees‘ productivity?

247
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Conflict resolution for promoting consensus &


collaboration

The Art of Resolving Conflicts in the Workplace

Exercise: Assessing the Effects of Conflict

1. What are some examples of conflicts you have experienced on the job?

2. What consequences have these conflicts had on your ability to do your


job?

3. What have you done to resolve the conflicts you have experienced? How
successful have you been?

4. What occurs when you let conflicts go unresolved?

248
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Six Techniques for Resolving Conflicts Successfully

The six techniques:

 ―I‖ vs. YOU Language


 Anticipation
 Self-Interest
 Meta-Talk
 Limit-Setting
 Consequences

Technique #1 – “I” vs. YOU Language

Using the pronoun ―I‖ to take responsibility and to promote cooperation and
understanding when making statements to others. This is in contrast to ―you‖
statements, which tend to promote an atmosphere of conflict by sounding
accusatory, judgmental and threatening to others.

―I‖ vs. YOU Language

YOU  NEGATIVES

 Sounds accusatory
 Sounds judgmental
 Sounds threatening

―I‖ vs. YOU Language

―I‖  BENEFITS

 Takes 100% responsibility and ownership


 Promotes cooperation and understanding
 Lessens threat to higher authority

249
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Guidelines for formulating ―I‖ statements are:

 Communicate assertively
 Begin your statements with ―I‖
 Use ―I‖ statements when expressing your views

Some examples of YOU statements converted to ―I‖ statements follow:

YOU ―I‖
You were wrong. I think you‘re wrong.
You made a mistake. I believe you‘ve made a mistake.
Your idea will never work. I don‘t think your idea will work.

Exercise: Turning YOU Statements into ―I‖ Statements

Directions: Begin this exercise by writing three YOU statements in the space
below.

1. Write a statement that expresses your disagreement with someone else‘s


view about something.

―YOU(r)

2. Write a statement that you might make to criticize someone‘s work or


performance.

―YOU(r)

3. Write a statement that you might make to let someone know that you have
a strong opinion (or are angry) about something they said or did.

―YOU(r)

250
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Now convert the three YOU statements you wrote into ―I‖ statements.

1. ―I

2. ―I

3. ―I

Optional

 Find partner. Begin by reading your YOU statement to your partner.


Then, read your converted ―I‖ statement to your partner.
 Your partner will listen to your statement and give you feedback about
what you did well and how you could have improved your statement.

Technique #2 – Anticipation

Anticipation

The ability to foresee (or anticipate) the statements, objections, or concerns of


others as a means of establishing rapport and understanding with them.

Uses:
 Gaining cooperation
 Influencing others
 Winning respect
 Overcoming stereotypes

Guidelines for formulating ANTICIPATION statements include:


 Anticipate reactions
 Incorporate reactions into your statements

Situations in which you would want to use ANTICIPATION statements include:


 Gaining cooperation
 Influencing others
 Winning respect
 Overcoming stereotypes

251
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Exercise: Creating Anticipatory Statements

Directions:

 Think of a situation in each of the four categories listed on the following


pages in which you were unsuccessful in achieving your objective. Or
think of a present situation in which you‘d like to produce a positive
outcome.

 In the space provided below, write a brief description of each situation


and the objective you hoped to attain.

 Now, imagine having a conversation with the other person about your
situation and objective. What might that person‘s reaction or objection
be to your request?

 Take the reaction or objection that you imagine (or anticipate) and
incorporate it into your verbal statement.

 Now, write the anticipatory statements that you would make to produce
successful outcomes.

Your Anticipatory
Category/Objective Situation
Statement
Gaining Cooperation

Influencing Others

Winning Respect

Overcoming
Stereotypes

252
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Technique #3 – Self-Interest

Self-Interest

Appealing to other‘s interests and goals by letting them know how what you
want will be of benefit to them.

Purpose:

To be
 Relevant
 Compelling
 Motivating

People have a natural SELF-INTEREST in the areas of:


 Money
 Power
 Popularity
 Status
 Promotion
 Recognition
 Security

Use Self-Interest to:


 Inspire teamwork and cooperation
 Motivate people towards a goal
 Tie company and employee interests
 Enlist support from upper management
 Sell clients, customers and suppliers

Guidelines for formulating SELF-INTEREST statements include:


 Determine your listeners‘ areas of SELF INTEREST.
 Incorporate those areas of SELF-INTEREST into your statements to
them.

253
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Exercise: Identifying Areas of Self-Interest

Answer the questions below in preparation for the exercise which follows.

1. What are your three strongest areas of SELF-INTEREST?

2. What do you believe to be your manager‘s strongest areas of SELF-


INTEREST?

3. Choose one coworker. What do you believe to be his or her strongest


areas of SELF-INTEREST?

4. Choose one subordinate or customer. What do you believe to be his or her


strongest areas of SELF INTEREST?

254
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Exercise: Creating Self-Interest Benefit Statements

Directions

Write a SELF-INTEREST statement for at least one potential conflict situation


involving (1) your manager, (2) a co-worker, and (3) a subordinate or
customer.

1. Manager

2. Co-worker

3. Subordinate or Customer

Optional

 Turn to your partner and describe a conflict situation and the benefit
statement you used to appeal to the other person‘s SELF-INTEREST.

 The partner receiving the SELF-INTEREST statement should give


feedback to the sender. Did the statement appeal to an area of SELF-
INTEREST? Did it demonstrate concern for the person?

 Reverse roles.

255
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Technique #4 – Meta-Talk

Meta-Talk

A person‘s non-verbal communication of feelings, emotions or attitudes that


go beyond his or her words. In a META LEVEL statement, you comment to
the other person about the underlying feelings you observed that go above
and beyond your original discussion.

Guidelines for using the technique of META-TALK


 Actively listen to others. Notice whether the other person is sending
you a non-verbal communication that goes beyond his or her words.

 Observe body language and tone of voice. Notice if others reveal any
particular feelings, attitudes or emotions that may not be directly
expressed.

 If so, ask yourself: what attitudes or emotions am I sensing from them?


(For example: anger, frustration, hurt, sadness, nervousness, joy)

 Then, before continuing any other communication, comment on the


feelings you observed. Once you‘ve done so, check with the other
person to see if you are correct.

 Your META-TALK statement should acknowledge the other person‘s


feelings, and create rapport and understanding with him or her.

META-TALK Phrases

The following are some suggested ―lead-in‖ phrases for responding to the
other person‘s META LEVEL emotions that stand in the way of your intended
communication.

 ―From the tone of your voice, it sounds like you‘re angry.‖


 ―I get the feeling that you‘re upset about something. If so, can we talk
about it?‖
 ―From the look in your eyes, I have a sense that you‘re frustrated about
something.‖
 ―From the expression on your face, it seems like you‘re feeling hurt or
sad. Is that so?‖
 ―I get the feeling that you‘re not feeling well. Are you okay?‖
 ―I‘ve noticed your eyes wandering a lot. Are you preoccupied with
something else?‖

256
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Exercise: Responding to Meta-Talk Attitudes and Emotions

Directions

Below is a list of emotions, attitudes and feelings that you might encounter
when communicating with others.

List of Emotions, Feelings, Attitudes:


 Anger, frustration, sadness, nervousness, illness
 Preoccupied, sarcastic, hurt, overwhelmed

Write out a statement you have heard or might hear that would reflect three of
the emotions listed above.

Now, write out a META-TALK statement that would acknowledge that


―emotion-filled‖ statement and create rapport and understanding.

257
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Technique #5 – Limit-Setting

Limit-Setting

Defining the parameters of a job, task, relationship or situation, so that each


person knows what to expect from the other.

Guidelines for using LIMIT-SETTING


 Communicate assertively by letting others know what you will or won‘t
do regarding a job, task, responsibility or relationship.

 Be careful not to communicate in a non-assertive, indirect manner.


People who communicate non-assertively do not express what they
really think, feel and want. This often leads to confusion and lack of
clarity about expectations.

 LIMIT-SET with others by clarifying responsibilities, establishing


agreements and setting specific dates, times and expectations for how
work is to be completed.

Exercise: Creating Limit-Setting Statements

Directions

Rewrite each of the following statements so that they include a LIMIT.


Note: The words in bold face indicate where setting a limit would clarify the
communication and serve to avoid potential conflict.

1. Will you get this report to me as soon as possible?

2. I don‘t think I‘ll have much time to help you.

3. It‘s not a good idea to be late.

4. I was expecting to be paid more.

5. Our production people need more time.

6. It may be difficult to get both of these projects done when you want them.

258
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Technique #6 – Consequences

Consequence
An action or sanction that states to the other person the likely outcome of
continuing a problematic behaviour.

Threat
The expression of an intention to inflict pain, injury, evil, or punishment on
another person.

Guidelines to use when stating CONSEQUENCES


 State CONSEQUENCES before severe measures become necessary.
When problems develop, early intervention is far more effective than
allowing problems to escalate to serious levels.

 CONSEQUENCES should always be stated in a non-threatening


manner.

 Make sure that you have legitimate power to back up whatever you
state as a CONSEQUENCE.

 Remember that CONSEQUENCES must be specific and that follow-


through is essential if the CONSEQUENCES are to have meaning or
value.

Use the following technique when stating CONSEQUENCES


 Specify which actions are problematic, the impact of those actions, and
why the behavior needs to be changed.

 Ask the person what he or she can do, or is willing to do, to correct the
situation.

 Check for understanding and obtain agreement to the


CONSEQUENCES.

 Establish specific checkpoints concerning what is to happen and when.

 If checkpoints are not met, be prepared to follow through with the


CONSEQUENCES.

259
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Exercise: Identifying CONSEQUENCES for Problem Situations

Directions

1. Describe a problem situation you are having with someone at work.

2. Brainstorm a list of possible actions or CONSEQUENCES you might


impose to resolve the problem.

3. From the list above, select three CONSEQUENCES and prioritize them in
terms of severity from least to most severe.

260
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Part II
Special Conflict Areas

1. Aggressive Behavior
2. Role Confusion
3. Stereotyping
4. Manipulation

1. Aggressive Behavior

Aggressive
Inclined to move or act in a hostile fashion.

Exercise

 How do you react to someone else‘s AGGRESSIVE behavior?

 What are some examples of AGGRESSIVE behavior that you have


faced at work?

261
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

2. Role Confusion

Role Confusion
The tendency to treat people in an inappropriate manner based on misguided
perceptions or confusion about what the appropriate behavior should be.

The causes of ROLE CONFUSION


 Rigid beliefs
 Disrespect for personal boundaries
 Ignorance of suitable behavior

Exercise

 Write about situations you‘ve encountered where you‘ve experienced


ROLE CONFUSION by others. What were the circumstances? And what
conflicts resulted?

3. Stereotyping

Stereotyping
A conventional, formulaic, usually oversimplified conception, opinion, or belief;
generalizing about individuals or groups based on limited or prejudicial
information.

Exercise

Write down some examples of STEREOPTYPES you believe others have had
about you.

262
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

4. Manipulation

Managing or influencing others by artful means, fair or unfair, especially to


one‘s advantage or purpose.

The four ways people manipulate each other


i. Flattery
ii. Sympathy
iii. Guilt
iv. Intimidation

Standing up to manipulation conflicts

 Be aware of the different MANIPULATION tactics used.


 Remain assertive, take responsibility. Remember, you have
choices..…don‘t be a victim.
 Evaluate consequences – make a conscious decision.
 Once you make a decision that you won‘t be MANIPULATED (e.g.
that you won‘t let someone intimidate you into doing something
you‘re against), consider using conflict management techniques to
resolve your situation.

Exercise

1. What MANIPULATION tactics do you use? (e.g. Flattery, Sympathy, Guilt,


Intimidation.)

2. Which tactics have been effective in MANIPULATING you?

3. How will you be more effective in standing up to the MANIPULATION


tactics of others?

263
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

1. Strategy for giving criticism comprises 3 steps

A) Guideline:
Attack the problem and not __________________

B) A Self-test:

C) EPM formula

Empathize

Pinpoint the problem

Move Forward

2. How to receive criticism

The AAAA formula

 Anticipate learning at 3 levels

 Ask questions

 Agree with a principle

 Analyze

264
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Increase the EQ of your teams and entire organisation


Fact 1
As each goose flaps its wings, it creates an "uplift" for the birds that follow. By flying
in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if each bird
flew alone.

Lesson
People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they
are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the thrust of each other.

Fact 2
When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of
flying alone. It quickly moves back into formation to take advantage of the lifting
power of the bird immediately in front of it.

Lesson
If we have as much sense as a goose, we stay in formation with those headed where
we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others.

Fact 3
When the lead bird tires, it rotates back into the formation to take advantage of the
lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it.

Lesson
It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership. As with geese,
people are interdependent on each other's skills, capabilities, and unique
arrangements of gifts, talents, or resources.

Fact 4
The geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their
speed.

Lesson
We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups where there is
encouragement, the production is much greater. The power of encouragement (to
stand by one's heart or core values and to encourage the heart and core values of
others) is the quality of honking we seek.

Fact 5
When a goose gets sick, wounded, or shot down, two geese drop out of formation
and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly
again. Then, they launch out with another formation or catch up with the flock.

Lesson
If we have as much sense of geese, we will stand by each other in difficult times as
well as when we're strong.

Notes
Lessons From Geese was transcribed from a speech given by Angeles Arrien at the 1991 Organizational
Development Network and was based on the work of Milton Olson. It circulated to Outward Bound staff throughout
the United States.

265
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

266
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Team Building Instrument (TBI)


The Team Building Instrument (TBI) is designed to examine individual
perceptions of team strengths and weaknesses in six areas related to team
development. The six areas are: team purpose, stages of team development,
team member-roles, team communica-tion, team processes, and team
leadership. The results identify spe-cific areas where teambuilding efforts can
be focused.

2. Read the following TBI sections before you begin the survey.
 Administering the TBI.
 Interpreting the TBI.
3. Mark you answers to the questions.
4. Upon completion of the TBI, turn to the Scoring Grid to interpret your
scores.

Discuss these questions:

 What did you learn about your team's strengths and weaknesses?
 Where can you focus your teambuilding efforts?

Administering the TBI


The Team Building Instrument (TBI) is designed to examine individual
perceptions of team strengths and weaknesses in six areas related to team
development. The six areas are as follows: team purpose, stages of team
development, team member roles, team communication, team processes, and
team leadership. The results identify specific areas where teambuilding efforts
can be focused.

The TBI can be used for collecting relevant data for designing teambuilding
training interventions or it can be used as a stand-alone teambuilding activity.

Interpreting the TBI

Category Questions
1. Team Purpose 1-5
2. Stages of Team Development 6-10
3. Team Member Roles 11-15
4. Team Communication 16-20
5. Team Processes 20-25
6. Team Leadership 26-30

267
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Examine each of the six areas to determine whether or not there is agreement
or disagreement in the response categories. The greater number of Agree
responses in each category, the less time is needed to focus on the
component during teambuilding events. Similarly, the greater number of
Disagree responses in each category, the more time is needed to focus on the
area during team-building training.

Example #1
In example #1, the respondent perceives that Team Communication (Agree =
1) (Disagree = 4) and Team Leadership (Agree = 0 and Disagree = 5) are
areas where the team needs development. Discuss reasons why the team is
not successful in these categories.

Example #1 Agree Disagree


Team Purpose 4 1
Stages of Team Development 4 1
Team Member Roles 5 0
Team Communication 1 4
Team Processes 3 2
Team leadership 0 5

Example #2
In example #2, the respondent perceives the team doing well in all six
categories. Discuss reason for team success in each category.

Example #2 Agree Disagree


Team Purpose 5 0
Stages of Team Development 5 0
Team Member Roles 5 0
Team Communication 5 0
Team Processes 5 0
Team Leadership 5 0

268
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Team Building Instrument (TBI)


Instructions
1. Answer the questions as you see your team functioning.
2. You have 10 minutes to complete the TBI.
3. Check either Agree or Disagree as your response choices.
4. Place the number of Agree or Disagree responses in the grid at the end of
the instrument.

Agree Disagree
I. Team Purpose
1. My team is driven by a clear desired future state.
2. My team fully understands its mission.
3. My team is aware of the principles that govern how
the team operates.
4. My team has clearly defined goals that it strives to
achieve.
5. My team is energized and motivated to succeed.
Total Ratings:

II. Stages of Team Development


6. Team members are aware of the stages of team
development.
7. Team members understand the interpersonal
issues that operate in the team.
8. Team members understand group behavioral
patterns.
9. Team members can manage conflict in a supportive
way.
10. Team members can manage team issues
collaboratively.
Total Ratings:

III Team Member Roles


11. Team members understand "task" and "process"
roles.
12. Team members understand the roles that can either
facilitate or hinder team interaction.
13. Team members can identify negative process
behaviors.
14. Team members know how to handle negative
process behavior?
15. Team members can identify positive process roles.
Total Ratings:
IV. Team Communication
16. Team members share information effectively.
17. Team members can give constructive feedback.

269
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

18. Team members listen well to each other.


19. Team members work through barriers that can
block effective communication.
20. Team members share a common language.
Total Ratings:

V. Team Processes
21. My team manages conflict effectively.
22. My team has a decision-making process that works.
23. My team uses a step-by-step problem-solving
process.
24. My team plans meetings that encourage
participation.
25. My team effectively manages the diversity of the
team.
Total Ratings:

VI. Team Leadership


26. The team leader manages the team effectively.
27. The team leader creates opportunities for the team.
28. The team leader knows how to get things done.
29. The team leader encourages active participation.
30. The team leader guides and facilitates the team
effort.
Total Ratings:

270
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

TBI Scoring Grid

Refer back to each category in the TBI and place the numbers of Agree or
Disagree in the corresponding categories below.

Interpreting the TBI

Category Agree Disagree


Team Purpose
Stages of Team Development
Team Member Roles
Team Communication
Team Processes
Team Leadership

Some things to consider about your ratings:

 Is there anyone category that has a high or low rating?


If this is the case, you may want to examine the category more
closely to determine the reasons for the scores.

 Do several categories have a Disagree high rating?


If this is the case, consider how your team may not be getting
the job done. Discuss the reasons for your perceptions. This is
an opportunity to gain clarity on what the team needs to work on
to be successful.

271
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Laser Speed Detector


Purchase Decision Worksheet:
Form A

You are a police department team chartered to determine the best laser
handheld speed detection device for use by the road patrols. Your team has
narrowed the decision to five promising models. They are listed on the
Specification Sheet.

The laser gun is especially useful for speed detection in clear weather. Its
laser beam is more difficult to detect than traditional radar. Also, the laser
device can employ an instant-on. By the time a speeding motorist detects the
beam, it‘s too late. The instant-on feature is an especially desirable advantage
of this device.
An absolute requirement by the department is that the laser device have zero
EMF emissions. This requirement is for the health and safety of the officers
using the device.

The range of the device must be at least 750 yards. Minimum range is not a
critical factor. There must be ±3 miles per hour accuracy at midrange.

272
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Laser Speed Detector Purchase


Decision Worksheet:
Form B

You are a police department team chartered to determine the best laser
handheld speed detection device for use by the road patrols. Your team has
narrowed the decision to five promising models. They are listed on the
Specification Sheet.

The laser gun is especially useful for speed detection in clear weather. Its
laser beam is more difficult to detect than traditional radar. Also, the laser
device can employ an instant-on. By the time a speeding motorist detects the
beam, it‘s too late. The instant-on feature is an especially desirable advantage
of this device.
An absolute requirement by the department is that the laser device have zero
EMF emissions. This requirement is for the health and safety of the officers
using the device.

The cost of the device must be not more than $1,500.

273
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

LASER SPEED DETECTOR PURCHASE


DECISION WORKSHEET: Form C

You are a police department team chartered to determine the best laser
handheld speed detection device for use by the road patrols. Your team has
narrowed the decision to five promising models. They are listed on the
Specification Sheet.

The laser gun is especially useful for speed detection in clear weather. Its
laser beam is more difficult to detect than traditional radar. Also, the laser
device can employ an instant-on. By the time a speeding motorist detects the
beam, it‘s too late. The instant-on feature is an especially desirable advantage
of this device.
An absolute requirement by the department is that the laser device have zero
EMF emissions. This requirement is for the health and safety of the officers
using the device.

The device must be immediately available, in anticipation of the busy motoring


season just ahead.

274
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

LASER SPEED DETECTOR PURCHASE DECISION WORKSHEET:


Form D

You are a police department team chartered to determine the best laser
handheld speed detection device for use by the road patrols. Your team has
narrowed the decision to five promising models. They are listed on the
Specification Sheet.

The laser gun is especially useful for speed detection in clear weather. Its
laser beam is more difficult to detect than traditional radar. Also, the laser
device can employ an instant-on. By the time a speeding motorist detects the
beam, it‘s too late. The instant-on feature is an especially important feature of
this device.

An absolute requirement by the department is that the laser device have zero
EMF emissions. This requirement is for the health and safety of the officers
using the device.

The cost of the device must be not more than $1,500. It must be immediately
available, in anticipation of the busy motoring season just ahead.

275
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

LASER SPEED DETECTOR PURCHASE


DECISION WORKSHEET:
Form E

You are a police department team chartered to determine the best laser
handheld speed detection device for use by the road patrols. Your team has
narrowed the decision to five promising models. They are listed on the
Specification Sheet.

The laser gun is especially useful for speed detection in clear weather. Its
laser beam is more difficult to detect than traditional radar. Also, the laser
device can employ an instant-on. By the time a speeding motorist detects the
beam, it‘s too late. The instant-on feature is an important feature of this
device.

An absolute requirement by the department is that the laser device have zero
EMF emissions. This requirement is for the health and safety of the officers
using the device.

The range of the device must be at least 750 yards. There must be ±3 miles
per hour accuracy at midrange.

276
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

LASER HANDHELD SPEED


MEASURING DEVICES SPECIFICATION
SHEET: FORM F

HotShot 1200
Source: HotShot Electronics, Inc., Chicago
Weight: 4 lbs, 6 oz
Range: 10-900 yards
Accuracy at Midrange: ±3 mi/hr
EMF Emissions: Zero
Special Features/Information: Fog/clear settings. Instant activation. Safety lens.
Ship in one week.
Cost: $1,400

Zapper Trooper Model


Source: Minnesota Law Enforcement Equipment Co., St. Paul
Weight: 4 lbs
Range: 10-800 yards
Accuracy at Midrange: ±2 mi/hr
EMF Emissions: Zero
Special Features/Information: Instant activation. Safety lens.
Will be available in about six months.
Cost: $1,250

White Lightning
Source: White Electronics, NYC
Weight: 4 lbs, 8 oz
Range: 10-600 yards
Accuracy at Midrange: ±3 mi/hr
EMF Emissions: Zero
Special Features/Information: Instant activation.
Immediately available.
Cost: $1,050

ZOT Model 55-Alive


Source: Zebra Operating Technologies, Inc., Los Angeles
Weight: 4 lbs, 10 oz
Range: 10-850 yards
Accuracy at Midrange: ±3 mi/hr
EMF Emissions: Zero
Special Features/Information: Fog/clear settings. Instant activation. Safety lens.
Ship in one week.
Cost: $1,700

X Model 5640
Source: Prison Industries, Jolliet, IL
Weight: 4 lbs, 3 oz
Range: 10-800 yards
Accuracy at Midrange: ±3 mi/hr
EMF Emissions: Zero
Special Features/Information: Fog/clear and psychic settings.
Immediately available.
5 seconds acquisition time.
Cost: $1,400

277
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Structural Changes Puzzle

Reproduced from “Working Together, 55 Team Games” by Lorraine L. Ukens

278
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Time-management Quiz
Read the 10 statements below and select the number from the scale that most
closely matches your response to each statement. Write the number in the
space provided to the left of each question. When all statements have been
completed total the 10 numbers.

0 1 2 3 4 5
Never Very Sometimes Frequently Mostly Always
infrequently

1. I think I'm indispensable. I often find myself taking on various


jobs because I think I'm the only one who can do them.
2. I don't have time to do all the important things because I'm too
busy with smaller things that always pop up during the day.
3. I tend to attempt to do too much. I usually say ‗yes‘ to most
requests as I feel I can do them all, or I don't want to upset
people by saying ‗no‘.
4. I feel continual pressure. I always seem to be behind and have
no way of catching up. I feel as though I am always rushing.
5. I work long hours: ten, eleven, twelve, sometimes up to fourteen
hours a day, five or six days a week.
6. I usually feel guilty about leaving work on time.

7. I don't have enough time for rest, social activities or personal


relationships.
8. I constantly miss deadlines that have been set.

9. I quite often take worries and problems home.

10. I sometimes find it hard to make decisions and keep putting


things off.

Your total score: ________

Reproduced from: 103 Additional Training Games, Gary Kroehnert, McGraw-Hill Australia,
Sydney, Copyright 2001

279
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Laser Speed Detector Purchase Decision Solution Grid: Form H

Model Hot Sot Zapper White ZOT X-Files


Requirement 1200 Trooper Lightning 55-Alive 5640
Range > 750 yds 900 yds 800 yds 600 yds 850 yds 800 yds
Cost < $1,500 $1,400 $1,250 $1,050 $1,700 $1,400
Instant-On Yes Yes Yes Yes No
Zero EMF Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes
Immediately Available Yes 6 mo Yes Yes Yes
Midrange Accuracy ±3mi/hr ±3mi/hr ±2mi/hr ±3mi/hr ±3mi/hr ±3mi/hr

Eliminates this option.

280
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Learning points from instructional videos

281
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Communication for
Successful
Leadership

282
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Giving & receiving feedback

Communication styles play an important part in the giving and receiving of


feedback. All of us have developed communication patterns that reflect our
individual identities. These patterns develop over time and become our
preferred manner of communicating.

Your effectiveness in giving and receiving feedback will be enhanced if you


are aware of your preferred communication style and that of your feedback
recipient. By recognizing the strengths and weaknesses of both styles, you
can more easily adjust your style to avoid conflicts and ensure understanding.

There are four major communication styles:

 Neutral – The Neutral is supportive and avoids change and


confrontation.

 Analytical – The Analytical is accurate and detail oriented.

 Relational – The Relational is enthusiastic and relationship oriented.

 Decisive – The Decisive is direct and task oriented.

Though our individual communication styles are usually a composite of all four
styles, we tend to have one stronger, preferred style. The following chart
describes some of the strengths and potential stumbling blocks associated
with the four styles.

283
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Learning points from instructional videos

284
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Psychology of persuasion

The literature of psychology reveals that, generally speaking, an attitude can


be changed only when one of two conditions prevails: either the attitude and
the activities related to it no longer provide the satisfactions previously
achieved, or the individual‘s level of aspiration has been raised.

Example, the psychologist Daniel Katz has pointed out that attitudes toward
political parties and voting behaviour are difficult to change if there is no
widespread dissatisfaction with economic conditions and international
relations.
As for the attitude changing as per the level of aspiration, take an example
common to many companies: A factory hand becomes a supervisor, or a
supervisor becomes a manager; in such instances, the individual‘s attitude
toward labor unions might change drastically. He is in a new role; the level of
his aspirations has been raised.
The most effective persuaders, research shows are those who appeal to both
the intellect and emotions of their listeners.

Influencing Group Behaviour

1. In a situation where you want to persuade a group to follow your lead,


never attack the group.
 Single out the leader, if you can identify him, and concentrate on his
attitude.
 If you win him, he will help you influence the others.
 Winning this one person will be far easier for you than trying to win a
dozen people who, in their unity, find strength.

2. Keep in mind that you can use the rest of the group to your advantage in
working on the leader.
 Collect opinions and ideas from the group. Perhaps the individuals
never had a chance to express themselves.
 You might suggest that the leader collect opinions or facts from
individuals, then funnel them to you.
 This accomplishes two things. It preserves the leader‘s dignity, and it
alerts the group to the fact that a change may be forthcoming.

3. Never forget that the man who contributes to a final judgment will work
hard to make the judgment a good one.

285
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

How to Get Others to See Things Your Way

1. Recognize individual differences


 Do you know what stimulates your most important people?
 Take into account the person you‘re dealing with. Does he like a
summary first and then the details? Or, the details first?
 Consider group identifications. What is the background of your
audience? Is your group oriented toward a certain kind of behaviour?

2. Sell, don’t debate


 When you attempt to persuade someone, you are performing the same
kind of sales activity as if you were selling vacuum cleaners or
cosmetics. The only difference is that you are selling an attitude instead
of a product or service.
 Studies show that if you present only your side of the case, you have
not really sold it. That‘s because when your audience hears the other
side of the story it will be more easily ―unconvinced‖ than if they heard
both sides originally.

3. Stay in character
 After a brief period of association, people such as your subordinates,
your staff, and associates learn what to expect from you.
 If you get out of character when you try to persuade them, they will
become suspicious.
 Stay honest. You‘ll never be able to persuade people with phony
techniques.

4. Play down the fear theme


 Fear has some value in persuasion, but it has limited value. Do not
depend on it to carry your argument.
 Stressing the consequences of one‘s act, rather than preventive
measures, may result in the avoidance of prevention.

5. Avoid pushing for immediate compliance


 The push for immediate compliance in most situations will not have
lasting results.
 If you are trying to persuade a person to change their long-held habits
or attitudes, don‘t demand immediate action. Give them a chance to
think it over.

286
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

6. Get the group behind you


 When others have the same attitudes and philosophies as you, get
them to lend you their support. Here are some suggestions:
 When weighing the possibilities before a decision is made, get wide
participation. Solicit suggestions from many people. Give everyone who
might be affected a chance to speak up. A person will support that
which he/she helps to create.

7. Establish your expertness & authority


 Do you argue with a doctor when he/she persuades you to have an
operation? When you are being persuaded by experts, with
authoritative credentials, their persuasion usually works.
 If you must make decisions and persuade people in areas in which you
cannot operate with authority and assurance, admit it. Preface your
attempt at persuasion by saying, ―I‘m not an expert in this area, but I
have talked with experts.‖
 Of course, if you are rightfully an expert, gently remind your audience
of this during your discussion. It will strengthen your argument.

8. Try to satisfy needs


 If you can find out what is bothering your employees, and try in some
way to satisfy their needs, you will find it relatively easy to convince
them to do as you wish.
 Do not look for the compromise. Look outside the boundaries of the
problem for a solution that satisfies your need as well as that of your
employee.

9. Be sincere
 The impression you make depends on a whole series of past impacts
on the people you‘re dealing with. You must build a general
background of sincerity, rather than try to ―pull something off‖ on the
spur of the moment.

10. Provide recognition


 Offer a person a concrete reward, show that you recognize he/she may
be making a sacrifice, and you are likely to convince them they were
right in agreeing to your suggestions.
 Another form of recognition is giving others verbal credit for changing
their habits and attitudes as you desired.

287
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

11. Be enthusiastic
 You must believe in something and demonstrate that belief through
enthusiasm, before you can be successful at persuasion.

12. Play up participation


 Industrial psychologists frequently advise a person who must persuade
another to use the ―team argument.‖ This argument takes many forms,
but always pushes the theme, ―You can help us. This is a team effort.
You can make a strong contribution if you will join our cause. We need
you.‖
 In the context of company environments, this is referred to as the
process of reciprocation. This is the process of fulfilling one‘s
expectations and gratifying one‘s needs in an organization.

13. Make it public


 Once an individual has taken a stand on an issue and everyone knows
it, it becomes embarrassing an emotionally inconvenient for him to
change back to the former view. They will persist in the stand they took
with you.

14. Be honest, don’t manipulate


 The tools of effective persuasion should be used only after an honest
consideration of needs – yours, the individual‘s, and the company‘s.
remember, a manipulator of people ( a man who uses rather than
motivates people) is doomed to eventual failure.

Adapted from Effective Psychology for Managers by Mortimer R. Feinberg, Ph.D.

288
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Learning points from instructional videos

289
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Creating an inspiring vision

Exercise: EQ Vision

Consider the following list of advice from employees on how to fuel the vision.
Put a check mark next to the top three items that you would like to implement
more often.

1. Believe in yourself and your message.

2. Ask us how to make it work.

3. Lovingly shout, ―No, no! Wrong direction!‖ Don‘t expect us to


know if you haven‘t told us.

4. Set the example.

5. Act as if you care.

6. Direct and focus our energy in the same direction


simultaneously.

7. Deal with the people who aren‘t doing the job.

8. Don‘t give us inconsistent messages.

9. Ask us what is going wrong.

10. Take responsibility for failure.

11. Give us the big picture.

12. Believe in us.

How do you intend to implement the items you checked? Write an action plan
for implementing the advice. Be specific.

290
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Vision Killers to Avoid

Employees have named ten behaviours that they believe kill a sense of vision
in a work group. These actions are behaviours that the leader can influence.

Emotionally intelligent leaders know that their behaviour influences


perceptions. These perceptions are critical to motivating employees toward
the vision.

However, most leaders don‘t think about vision in terms of behavior, so they
may be unaware that certain behaviour can affect people‘s commitment
toward the vision.

The top ten vision killers identified by employees include the following actions
by leaders:

1. Treating people badly, such as not showing the, they care, forgetting to
say thank you, not respecting people, not making people feel valued.
2. Not setting good examples and living by the adage, ―Do as I say, not as
I do.‖
3. Focussing on too many things at once.
4. Pushing too hard on the task and forgetting the people.
5. Not giving clear direction.
6. Giving inconsistent direction.
7. Not taking responsibility for failure.
8. Focussing on the detail and forgetting to tell the ―whys‖ or the big
picture.
9. Showing little or no personal commitment to the vision.
10. Allowing people who aren‘t performing the job to remain.

In the eyes of employees, these 10 items ranked highest in reasons why


people felt less committed and less connected to the leader‘s vision.

Adapted from In Search of Honor: Lessons From Workers on How to Build Trust, by Adele B.
Lynn (belle Vernon, PA.: BajonHouse Publishing, 1998).

291
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Leading Authentically
For further reading refer to “Leaders – Start to Finish” by Anne Bruce

Use the following self-assessments to reach a thorough understanding of the


key lessons in this chapter. First, do a quick review of the three ways to
develop self-mastery:

1. Acknowledging your intuition and emotions


2. Showing your humanity by freely revealing your mistakes and
weaknesses
3. Never asking others to do anything you wouldn't do.

Next, on a scale of one (lowest) to five (highest), do a quick self-assessment


on your ability to implement three authentic leadership behaviors.

Identifying Employees' Emotional Needs


1. Recognition and praise 1 2 3 4 5
2. Achievement and advancement 1 2 3 4 5
3. Sense of belonging or being part of a team 1 2 3 4 5
4. Challenge and excitement 1 2 3 4 5
5. Pride and confidence 1 2 3 4 5
6. Love and support 1 2 3 4 5

Celebrating Mistakes and Weaknesses


1. Show your humanity 1 2 3 4 5
2. Ask for help 1 2 3 4 5
3. Celebrate costly mistakes 1 2 3 4 5
4. Always tell the truth 1 2 3 4 5

Walking the Talk


1. Get out of your office and be with the people 1 2 3 4 5
2. Model the attitudes and behaviors you expect in 1 2 3 4 5
others
3. Be a leader, not a boss 1 2 3 4 5
4. Show your dedication to community projects by 1 2 3 4 5
participating in them

292
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Developing Authentic Leadership

1. Why do you think authenticity is an important part of leadership at all


levels?

2. How will you set yourself apart as an authentic leader?

3. What is the strongest authentic leadership behavior you currently


possess?

4. What most challenges you about creating an authentic presence?

Authentic leadership is not something they do, but something they are deep
inside.

293
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

294
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

What Sets Authentic Leaders Apart From the Rest?

Authentic leaders put a great deal of time and effort into developing self-
mastery or what is also known as self-knowledge. They gain self-knowledge
by behaving in these three ways:

1. Acknowledging their intuition and emotions

2. Showing their humanity by talking freely about their mistakes and


weaknesses

3. Never asking others to do anything they wouldn't do.

295
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Solving people problems at work

SOLVING PEOPLE PROBLEMS AT WORK


PART I: COMMON BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS

Behavior Problem 1: The Deadweight


Everyone falls behind in work now and then. But Deadweights regularly fail to
do what they're expected to do. They constantly let the team down and often
make others work harder to pick up the slack.

In the video, an account rep named Donna is the Deadweight. Once again,
she is late delivering her information to the team.

Joe demonstrates these techniques for dealing with Deadweights.

To prod Deadweights to do their share:


 Talk with them in private about their behavior.
 Control your anger. Remain calm and objective.
 Present an objective view of the behavior. Don't blame or accuse.
 Describe the behavior's negative impact on the team.
 Close with a strong statement about what you expect. Get them to
commit to changing.

296
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Discussion Points for Dealing With Deadweights:

1. How have you handled Deadweights in the past?

2. When have you acted like a Deadweight yourself? What were the
consequences? What made you change your behavior?

3. Why is it important not to be confrontational?

4. What kinds of skills might Deadweights need to work on?

297
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Behavior Problem 2: The Gabber


Gabbers constantly interrupt you to talk about petty or personal matters. In the
video, a production supervisor named Jack is the Gabber. He starts to show
Joe pictures from his fishing trip, without regard for the fact that Joe is busy. In
another scene, Jack tells a long story about his dog before even coming close
to the point.

Joe adopts these ways to cope with Gabbers.

To head off Gabbers:


 Find out what the person wants and how important it is.
 Make it clear that you want to be sociable, but at the appropriate time.
(Joe asks Jack to bring the pictures to lunch.)
 If the Gabber has something important to discuss, schedule an
appointment at a later time.

Discussion Points for Handling Gabbers:

1. Describe a situation in which you were at the mercy of a Gabber. What


did you do?

2. How can you overcome feeling rude or inconsiderate when you try to
get out of a conversation?

3. How will you handle Gabbers now?

298
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Behavior Problem 3: The Backstabber


Backstabbers praise you to your face and then criticize you behind your back.
In the video, Margaret, an office manager, compliments Joe on his
presentation, then bad-mouths the same presentation to Frank, a sales
manager.

Joe uses these four steps to handle a Backstabber.

To straighten out Backstabbers:


 Check your facts. (Joe asks Frank if Margaret said anything about the
presentation.)
 Stick to the facts. Don't accuse.
 State what action you expect.
 Make it clear you want the behavior to stop.

Discussion Points for Handling a Backstabber:

1. Why is backstabbing so dangerous?

2. Who has worked with a Backstabber? How did it make you feel? How
did you handle the situation?

3. What can you do if a Backstabber denies the behavior or refuses to


change?

299
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Behavior Problem 4: The Intimidator


Intimidators try to get their way by bullying, harassing and threatening. In the
video, Frank tries to push Joe into taking his place at a business conference.
Joe uses these methods to counter the Intimidator.

To make your point with Intimidators:


 Remain focused and unhurried. Refuse to be intimidated.
 Respond without emotion.
 State your position clearly.
 Avoid arguing.
 Establish common ground by citing the good of the team and the
company.

Discussion Points for Countering Intimidators:

1. Think of a time you stood up to a bully. What approach did you take?
Did it work? How would you approach the situation now?

2. When you deal with Intimidators, why is it important not to get angry or
respond emotionally?

300
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Behavior Problem 5: The Power Monger


Power Mongers' desire for success and authority is so great that they have
little regard for the team. The video shows Margaret trying to force a new
procedure on Jack and Joe.

Joe uses these tips to head off a Power Monger:


 Don't directly oppose a Power Monger's position. Remain calm.
 Ask Power Mongers to justify their position.
 Ask questions that relate to the good of the team and the company.
Sometimes, Power Mongers' ideas have merit. If so, ignore their
behavior and acknowledge the ideas' value.

Discussion points for Heading Off Power Mongers:

1. You've probably dealt with Power Mongers. How did you respond?

2. How can you tell when someone is trying only to gain more power?

3. How do you get Power Mongers to place the team ahead of their
personal gain?

301
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Behavior Problem 6: The Joker

Jokers poke fun at co-workers in cruel ways. They may say they're only
kidding - and probably believe their comments are harmless - but their
behavior often hurts others. The video shows Jack deriding Margaret.

Joe uses these techniques for handling Jokers:


 Don't laugh or react in other ways to Jokers' jabs. Laughing only
encourages Jokers.
 Tell Jokers they're not being funny. Rather, their behavior is cruel and
unprofessional.
 Don't accept a simple apology. Get Jokers' commitment to change their
behavior.

Discussion Points for Handling Jokers:

1. What's your typical reaction when a Joker puts someone down? If


you've tried to discourage a Joker, what's worked and what hasn't?

2. How can you tell when a Joker is crossing the line between funny and
cruel?

302
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Behavior Problem 7: The Know-It-All

Know-It-Alls give you unwanted advice on how to do your job because they
think they can do it better than you. In the video, Joe deals with Frank's
meddling.

Joe demonstrates the following ways to work with Know-It-Alls:


 Evaluate their input objectively. Don't be defensive. Sometimes, Know-
It-Alls have good ideas.
 Explain how the behavior makes you feel. Many Know-it-AIls think
they're being helpful. If you tell them they're not, they may stop
immediately.
 Tell your ideas to Know-It-Alls, so they can see your point of view.
 If all else fails, listen politely and thank Know-It-Alls for their input.
Sometimes, it's better to acknowledge their advice and then proceed as
planned.

Discussion Points for Working With Know-It-AIls:

1. When you get unwanted advice, how does it make you feel?

2. How do you generally react to the unwanted advice?

3. Is it better to try getting the person to change, or to simply handle each


situation as it comes along?

303
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Behavior Problem 8: The Complainer

Complainers tend to see the negative side of everything. They like to criticize
others and assign blame rather than focus on solutions. In the video, Donna
complains to Joe that her boss, Frank, has given her a task that doesn't make
sense.

Joe uses these techniques for coping with Complainers:


 Listen to, and acknowledge their complaints, but don't agree with them.
 Ask them to be specific about why they're having the problem.
 Turn their attention toward fixing the problem.
 Ask them to suggest a possible solution.

Discussion Points for Coping With Complainers:

1. How have you handled Complainers?

2. Why is it important not to agree with them?

3. What does asking the person to be specific accomplish?

304
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

PART II: HANDLING CONFLICT EFFECTIVELY

Anytime you ask people to change their behavior, you may create conflict.
The behavior tips for avoiding conflict are:

 Assess before you act. Is the behavior problem serious enough to


cause a conflict?

 Get rid of tension and hostility before approaching a co-worker. Go for


a walk. Listen to music.

 Address present issues. Don't attach old gripes to the current situation.

 Describe, don't judge, the behavior that you object to.

 Frame the situation as a team problem, not a personal problem.

 Avoid power games and guilt trips that put the other person down.
Displays of power only make conflicts worse.

Discussion Points:

1. Why is it so important not to show your anger or frustration with another


co-worker?

2. Why is it important to separate the behavior from the person, and not
put down the individual?

305
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

PART III: 10 GUIDELINES FOR CHANGING SOMEONE'S BEHAVIOR

1. Change what people do, not who they are.

2. Listen before talking and think before acting.

3. Get to the point. Don't hint around at the problem.

4. Expect the best. Set high goals for yourself and co-workers.

5. Model the behavior you desire.

6. Adapt your approach to the person.

7. Protect dignity and self-respect.

8. Appeal to self-interests.

9. Acknowledge improved behavior.

10. Cut your losses with regret, not guilt.

Discussion point:
Set up some role-playing situations: Assign someone to act out one of the
problem personalities, and someone else to use the techniques presented to
deal with them.

Conclusion
The host concludes the video with two key points:

1. You can't get people to change troublesome behavior without bringing


it to their attention.

2. The only way to grow, and to improve the situation, is to politely and
diplomatically take a firm stand.

306
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Non-alienation for high EQ leadership

Communication Style

Communication Potential Stumbling


Strength
Style Blocks
Avoids confrontation,
Supportive, patient
Neutral passive
Predictable Slow to change
Easygoing, calm Slow to initiate
Listens actively Indecisive
Responsive to others Withholds feelings

Analytical Accurate, well-prepared Too critical, insensitive


Diplomatic Inflexible
Analytical Withdrawn
Cautious, restrained Overly cautious
Systematic, detail-oriented Imposes high standards

Relational Talkative Overly sensitive


Lack of follow-
Friendly
through/details
Enthusiastic Unprepared, disorganized
Subjective in decision-
Approachable, open
making
Initiates through
involvement of others

Decisive Direct Challenges others


Practical Impatient
Decisive Insensitive
Confident Overly independent
Need for control,
Clear, to the point
domineering
Task-oriented

DISCUSSION

Which style comes closest to describing the way you tend to communicate?

307
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Review the preferred manner for giving and receiving feedback for each of the
four styles, paying particular attention to your own style.

Communication
Prefers to Give/Receive Feedback
Style
Neutral Patient, allowing time to respond
Nonthreateningly
Clearly
Supportively
Privately
Focusing on "WHATs" and "HOWs"

Analytical Objectively
Thoroughly
Accurately
Patiently, allowing time to change
With no surprises
Focuses on "WHATs" and "WHYs"

Relational Conversationally
Allowing time for anecdotal support
Sensitively
Allowing time for much verbalizing
Focusing on the "WHATs"

Decisive Quickly
Directly
To the point
Focusing on the "WHATs"

“Most of us give and


receive feedback in a
manner consistent with our
dominant communication”
style.”

308
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Receiving Feedback

As a leader or manager, you have to get and use lots of feedback in order to
stay in touch with what is going on in your work unit and to develop your skills.

How often do you ask for feedback about your leadership or management
style? Do you really listen to it?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

Do you solicit feedback from your staff, peers, boss or boss on how you can
help them?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

Do you receive feedback in a positive way and say thank you? Or do you get
defensive and hostile?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

Your reaction can affect the likelihood that you will continue to get certain
kinds of feedback.

Guidelines for receiving feedback effectively:

1. Use active listening techniques

2. Do not get defensive or justify what happened

3. Try to understand the other person‘s perspective

4. Ask open-ended questions about the other person‘s


views.

5. Say ―thank you‖

(Adapted from Coaching & Counselling by Marianne Minor)

309
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Feedback Case Study 1: The Give-Me-Feedback CEO


You are a member of the management team for WHAM Financial Services.
You and the other six members of the team have been employed at WHAM
for a minimum of ten years each. The CEO was recruited from outside the
organization more than three years ago. The CEO is a ―get-things-done‖ type
with a dominant and decisive personality. He meets problems head on and
has accomplished what the board of directors requested in terms of company
profits and expense reduction. The management team meets weekly and
sometimes more often depending on the issues.

For the past few months you have noticed the CEO requesting feedback,
during meetings, on issues, and the following characteristics occur:

1. Interrupts speaker with an idea or thought unrelated to the requested


feedback.

2. Repeats ideas just given by the speaker as if he had not heard a work.

3. Physically preoccupied with note taking and side conversation while


speaker is attempting feedback.

4. Defensively questions the feedback, often interrupting before the


speaker is finished.

In your observations, you have noticed that the other members of the team
are hesitant to give information or ask questions. It appears that improved
communication is needed for the organization to continue functioning
successfully. You become aware, in a discussion with two other team
members, that they are experiencing frustration and are losing their desire to
even try to communicate or to give feedback. There seems to be an attitude of
―Whatever the CEO wants is fine with me,‖ and a feeling that feedback is not
really wanted.

310
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Questions:

1. What problems do you see in the communication behaviour of the CEO?

2. What do you think might be the reasons for such behaviour?

3. How would you feel about discussing your observations with the CEO?

4. Would you be willing to give feedback in this situation?

5. If the behaviour is affecting the management team, do you think it would


be affecting the rest of the staff? Why or why not?

311
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Feedback Case Study 2: Why Don’t They Complain to


Me?

Business Equipment Corporation is a distributor of photocopying machines,


small computers, fax machines, and telecommunication devices. Branch units
are responsible for sales and customer service. Kathy Diaz, a branch
manager, was conferring with Ned Carter, her regional manager who was
visiting her office. Prior to this luncheon conference, Ned had chatted briefly
with several of the sales and service employees in Kathy's branch office. Part
of the conversation between Kathy and Ned took this form:

Ned: There's something happening in your branch I want to discuss.

Kathy: Nothing too gruesome, I hope. Our results have been pretty good this
last quarter, haven't they?

Ned: Nothing gruesome, just a question of your management style. Some of


your team members think they don't have a big enough say about who is hired
into the branch.

Kathy: I thought they did have a big say. Before I hire anybody, a support
person, a customer service rep, or a sales rep, that person is interviewed by
the people he or she would be working most directly with.

Ned: Yes, but they think you choose which candidates will even be
interviewed. And then you make the final hiring decision.

Kathy: If they want to be involved in those aspects of the hiring process, I


guess it could be arranged. I'm concerned though that total participation along
those lines would be cumbersome and inefficient. We would spend a lot of
time on recruiting and selection. Besides, I thought a branch manager was
responsible for hiring employees even in today's empowered organization.

Ned: Yes, but I think the time invested would pay off. Your people would feel
much more like they are part of a team effort.

Kathy: By the may, nobody ever told me about these problems. I would have
been receptive to their input. I believe in team management. Why don't they
complain to me instead of going to you?

312
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

QUESTIONS

1. Why is this problem about giving and receiving feedback?

2. What might Kathy do in the future to encourage branch members to bring


their problems directly to her instead of complaining to the regional
manager?

3. Do you think the branch employees were justified in using the


communication channel they did to criticize the recruiting procedures?

313
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Developing leadership integrity

People today are desperate for leaders, but they want to be influenced only by
individuals they can trust, persons of good character.

Develop the following qualities of integrity and live them out every day:

1. Model consistency of character.


Solid trust can develop only when people can trust you all the time. If they
never know from moment to moment what you're going to do, the
relationship will never deepen to a confident level of trust.

2. Employ honest communication.


To be trustworthy, you have to be like a good musical composition; your
words and music must match.

3. Value transparency.
People eventually find out about your flaws, even if you try to hide them.
But if you're honest with people and admit your weaknesses, they will
appreciate your honesty and integrity. And they will be able to relate to you
better.

4. Exemplify humility.
People won't trust you if they see that you are driven by ego, jealousy, or
the belief that, you are better than they are.

5. Demonstrate your support of others.


Nothing develops or displays your character better than your desire to put
others first.

6. Fulfill your promises.


Never promise anything you can't deliver. And when you say you'll do
something, follow through on it. A sure way to break trust with others is to
fail to fulfill your commitments.

7. Embrace an attitude of service.


We have been put on this earth not to be served, but to serve. Giving of
yourself and your time to others shows that you care about them.

8. Encourage two-way participation with the people you influence.


When you live a life of integrity, people listen to you and follow you. Always
remember that the goal of influence is not manipulation; it's participation.
Only as you indulge others in your life arid success do you permanently
succeed.

314
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Questions to help you measure your integrity

6. How well do I treat people from whom I can gain nothing?

7. Am I transparent with others?

8. Do I role-play based on the person(s) I‘m with?

9. Am I the same person when I‘m in the spotlight as I am when I‘m alone?

10. Do I quickly admit wrongdoing without being pressed to do so?

11. Do I put other people ahead of my personal agenda?

12. Do I have an unchanging standard for moral decisions, or do


circumstances determine my choices?

13. Do I make difficult decisions, even when they have a personal cost
attached to them?

14. When I have something to say about people, do I talk to them or about
them?

15. Am I accountable to at least one other person for what I think, say, and
do?

Character is made in the small moments of our lives. – Phillips Brooks.

315
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Case study: Interview with Warren Buffett


There was a one hour interview on CNBC with Warren Buffett, the second
richest man who has donated $31 billion to charity. Here are some very
interesting aspects of his life:

1. He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he started too
late!
2. He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering
newspapers.
3. He still lives in the same small 3-bedroom house in mid-town Omaha, that
he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he has
everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or a
fence.
4. He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or security
people around him.
5. He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world's largest
private jet company.
6. His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies. He writes only
one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goals
for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular basis. He
has given his CEO's only two rules. Rule number 1: do not lose any of
your share holder's money. Rule number 2: Do not forget rule number 1.
7. He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past time after he
gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch television.
8. Bill Gates, the world's richest man met him for the first time only 5 years
ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common with Warren
Buffett. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour. But when
Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates became a
devotee of Warren Buffett.
9. Warren Buffett does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on his
desk. His advice to young people: "Stay away from credit cards and invest
in yourself and …

Remember:
B. Money doesn't create man but it is the man who created money.
C. Live your life as simple as you are.
D. Don't do what others say, just listen them, but do what you feel good.
E. Don't go on brand name; just wear those things in which u feel
comfortable.
F. Don't waste your money on unnecessary things; just spend on them
who really in need rather.
G. After all it's your life so why allow others to rule your life.

316
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Discussion questions

1. In your opinion, what are Warren Buffett‘s priorities in life?

2. What do you think of his lifestyle?

3. Do you agree with his financial advice? Why?

4. Would you consider him an example of an Emotionally Excellent


individual? Why?

5. Discuss 3 steps you can take to develop a more meaningful and


productive lifestyle.

317
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Learning points from instructional videos

318
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

Developing an action plan

I) Behavioural action plan

A) After this seminar, I shall start to:

1)

2)

3)

4)

5)

B) I shall continue to:

1)

2)

3)

4)

5)

C) I shall stop these following bad habits:

1)

2)

3)

4)

5)

D) Other key points for me to remember (if any):

1)

2)

319
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership
Prof. Dr. Leonard Yong

3)
My Action Plan:
II) Managing my body, mind and spirit

T Live well Exercise


E
based on body and
the Two eat well
N Principles
of Life
T Think well
to feel well

SPIRIT MIND BODY

SPIRIT MIND BODY


Things to do (+) Positives (+)

Things not to do (-) Negatives (-)

320
Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Psychology of
Leadership

Vous aimerez peut-être aussi