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Just a Few of Life’s Little Secrets!

Just A Few
Just A Few
of

Life’s of
Little Secrets!

Life’s

Little Secrets!

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Just a Few of Life’s Little Secrets! Just a Few of Life’s Little Secrets!

A collection of age old strategies you can Books To Grow By:

use to create the life that you desire. Maximum Achievement Brian Tracy

Life Strategies Philip McGraw (Dr. Phil), PH. D.

The Power of Positive Thinking Norman Vincent Peale


By Mitch Lapointe
This booklet a collection of ideas, copied sometimes word for Who Moved My Cheese Spenser Johnson, M.D.

word, from some of the best books I’ve read. Slowing Down the Speed of Life Richard Carlson

Credit has not been given to the authors, since they likely stole Prescriptions for Living Bernie Siegel, M.D.
this stuff from someone else anyway. I hope you enjoy it and Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Richard Carlson, PH.D.
that it can help you or someone I your life.
The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari Robin S. Sharma

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Stephen Covey

The Road Less Traveled M. Scott Peck, M.D.

Unlimited Power Anthony Robbins

Man’s Search for Meaning Victor Frankl

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus John Gray

Stress for Success Dr. Peter Hanson

Random Acts of Kindness Editors of Conari Press

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Just a Few of Life’s Little Secrets! Just a Few of Life’s Little Secrets!

Things you should do! Start Here!

Think Win/Win-Interdependence
1. What is your ideal life? Visualize it. Begin with the end in mind.
• Build emotional bank accounts- What constitutes a deposit
(Graduation, new job, new house, new body, retirement party…)
for them? Keep making deposits so when you slip up and
Use pictures to help visualize-Develop a “wish board”
make a “withdrawal”, your account will not be “empty”.
2. The main aspects of your life:
• Be loyal to those who aren’t present. Don’t let others a) Financial Freedom: how much do you want> set the
criticize your friends in your presence. Protest or walk goal
away. b) Health & energy: imagine yourself in perfect health
• Cooperation vs. Competition(especially in classrooms; c) Loving Relationships: laughter is a good gauge
win/win doesn’t work in a competitive environment) d) Professional Development
• Win/Win or no deal- e) Spiritual Fulfillment, Social Connection
• Education: pick your grade now here’s how you can get it… f) House/home/shelter
Good people in bad systems = bad results
3 basic operating principles:
Acquiring Wealth 1. Life is hard (it will require work)
“Work, well done, does good to the man(woman) who does it”
• Increase your ability to earn 2. Everything you are or will ever be is up to you
• Be in the front rank of progress and do not stand still, less 3. There are few limitations
you will be left behind “You can go no further with what you know now; your future
• Study and become wiser, to become more skillful depends on what you learn and practice from this moment
• Good luck waits to come to that man who accepts onward”
opportunity, and flees procrastination “Don’t be drawn irresistibly toward what you’ve always done.”
• The soul of a free man looks at life as a series of problems
to be solved, and solves them, while the soul of a slave The 1st Decision
whines!
• Merchants must learn their trade Take responsibility for everything that happens to you!
• A part of what you make is yours to keep-10% solution-pay I am responsible!
yourself first! If you looked at your life as though it was being “managed”
• Live on less than you make by someone and their contract was up, would you:
• Seek financial advice from those competent via experience • Give them a raise?
• Make gold work for you • Renew their contract?
• Guard gold from loss • Fire them and hire a new manager who would do a
• Insure future income-Safe loans are those whose better job in some aspects of your life?
possessions are of more value than what they desire Do you need to change your personal manager? What things
Page 14 of 16 does your newPage 3 of 16need to improve?
manager
Just a Few of Life’s Little Secrets! Just a Few of Life’s Little Secrets!

Seek First to Understand, Then Be Understood


Listening vs. Waiting to speak:
Life Sequence: Dependence>Independence>Interdependence Levels of listening:
Be Proactive-You are the programmer-Write the program! a) Ignoring
b) Pretending to listen
Between stimulus and response is your freedom of choice! It’s c) Selective listening
not what happens, but how you respond to what happens! d) Attentive
Replace (I have to…, I can’t…) with (I want to, I choose) e) Emphatic: mimic, rephrase, reflect
Friend in need of advice: “You are responsible, what are you
The Most Important Skill: Goal setting -Goals are fuel! going to do about it?”

1) Determine what you want-Exactly. “Forgiveness is a perfectly selfish act; it has nothing to do with
2) Determine the price you’re going to have to pay to get it, the other person, is has only to do with your own peace of mind,
and then resolve to pay that price! your own happiness & success. “
“The primary cause of success in life is the ability to set and “While you’re holding a grudge, they’re out dancing”
achieve goals.”
“The success that you desire requires payment in full, in Refuse to justify negative emotions: starve them-give them no
advance, every single time!” reason to exist. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
“You can only be happy when you are working toward 1) Don’t play judge & jury-find an excuse for person’s
something that is really important to you” behavior (you’re not in their shoes-look for positives)
“The greatest single enemy of your potential is your comfort 2) Do not see yourself as the target of person’s actions
zone.” 3) Do not justify person’s slights against you with a response
“Satisfied needs do not motivate” Learn to stand back and evaluate the opinions of others
unemotionally. (They may be upset, but not with you!)
4) Do not blame anyone for your unhappiness-It is your
Principles of goal setting: responsibility. If someone has slighted you, get over it and
1) Balance: family, personal, physical, intellectual, career, don’t let them do it again!
financial, spiritual
2) Congruency: fit your values
3) Area of excellence: it is the one thing that you are uniquely
capable of doing in an excellent fashion: it is your job to
identify it if you haven’t already.
4) Opportunity comes dressed in work clothes-“The harder I
work, the luckier I get”

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Just a Few of Life’s Little Secrets! Just a Few of Life’s Little Secrets!

My Goal in human relations- People think of me this way:


“I like you because of the way I feel about myself • Major purpose in life: Which goal if I accomplish, would do
when I am with you.” the most to help me achieve all my other goals? Often a
Go through life with this goal, and opportunities will open up financial or business goal. For students their future is tied to
before you, and people will help you in ways you cannot good grades and study habits.
imagine. (Make others feel important) • Spend time alone & think. Goals give you the edge: amount,
timeframe, repeat, visualize
7 keys to improving relationships: • Success can be learned by imitating others: the methods &
1. Be agreeable: “how important is this?” principles of those who succeeded
2. Stop arguing: “do I want to be right or happy?”
3. Just smile-I like you! Greet People first and with a 9 Step System for setting goals:
smile. 1) Develop desire-intense burning desire
4. Say thank you: the more you use it, the more eager 2) Develop belief: belief > achievement
people will be to please you 3) Write it down: goals that are not in writing are not goals at
5. Praise: one of the fastest ways to make people happy & all!
proud (catch them doing something right) 4) Make a list of all the ways you would benefit from
a) Immediate achieving your goal
b) Specific 5) Analyze your starting point
c) Public 6) Set a deadline
i) To develop a habit: every time 7) Visualize daily
ii) After that : intermittent reinforcement 8) Make an early decision, not to ever give up
6. Attention: listening 9) Do something every week to move toward the achievement
a) Builds trust of your major goals; mark each day with an accomplishment
b) Builds self-esteem of some kind, the earlier the better
c) Builds self-discipline (stay focused)
i) Listen attentively Put First Things First: The Common denominator of success
ii) Without interrupting (you can never learn • Organize and execute around priorities-Work towards goals.
anything while your mouth is open) • Important vs. Urgent- if you don’t procrastinate, you won’t
iii) Pause before replying have as many fires to put out
iv) Question for clarification • Schedule weekly
v) Feedback - paraphrase
7. Get out of yourself and into the lives and concerns of Sharpen the Saw- Make the time to enjoy yourself regularly
others • Strive for balance in your life
• Requires planning and scheduling

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Just a Few of Life’s Little Secrets! Just a Few of Life’s Little Secrets!

Talk to yourself this way: immediately before sleeping, you set your subconscious mind to
work on your goals during the night.
The secret of the ages, the key to health happiness and
prosperity for you and me, has been found in the Mastering Human Relationships
subconscious mind. I believe that something wonderful is
going to happen to me today! If you go through your day Learning how to develop and maintain superior human
believing that something wonderful is about to happen to relationships can do more for your career and for your personal
you, you will meet people and come across information that life than perhaps anything else you accomplish.
will make your expectation a reality, in the most surprising
“Most of your joy in life comes from your happy relationships
with other people.”
Requires clear, specific goals to which you are completely
committed. Because some know exactly what they want, their Healthy personality:
superconscious powers are working for them continuously. 1. Degree to which you look for the good in each person
The attitude of confidently expecting that your problems will be (unhealthy to the degree …bad in people)
solved, obstacles removed, and your goals achieved, is the 2. Degree to which you can freely forgive people
mental state that causes your subconscious mind to function at 3. Degree to which you can get along with many kinds of
its best. Any kind of negativity, anger, worry or impatience people
shuts down the process.
Law of Indirect Effort/Reciprocity
Make This Your Goal You get almost everything you want in a relationship by
approaching it indirectly rather than directly.
Peace of Mind-elimination of negative emotions>true happiness 1. If you want to impress: rather than convince or show, be
& health impressed with them
2. If you want someone interested in you, rather then telling,
“Situations are not stressful, only responses can be!” become interested in them
3. If you want to be happy, rather than do things that make you
“It is not what happens to you but how you think about what happy, make someone else happy
happens to you, which make a situation stressful” 4. Whenever you hurt someone, you make them want to strike
back
Worry buster:
1) Define your worry situation in writing
2) Determine the worst possible thing that could happen
3) Resolve to accept it
4) Improve upon the worst (make sure it doesn’t happen)
Causes of stress:
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Just a Few of Life’s Little Secrets! Just a Few of Life’s Little Secrets!

Create a visual representation of the ingredients that symbolize 1. Worry


success and achievement for you. Make yourself a picture board 2. No clear meaning or purpose (feeling listless, make a list)
with images of the things you want! 3. Incomplete action - procrastination
1. Affirmations: positive, present tense & personal “I a) Personal Situations, arguments: Get closure. A.S.A.P.
expect the best from myself” b) Business/Legal-measure the cost of dragging something
2. Verbalization: if you can say it out loud, you mean it! on
3. Acting the part: Fake it until you make it; behave as 4. Fear of failure: “The brave person is not the person without
though you’ve already made it fear, but the person who acts in spite of this fear.” “Decide
4. Feed your mind: learn about it exactly what you want to do, and then act as if it were
5. Associate with positive people: make no useless impossible to fail.”
acquaintances- avoid negative people like the plague! 5. Fear of rejection
6. Teaching others: You become what you teach 6. Denial: when part of your life is not working, and you won’t
admit it.-“People who squarely confront their problems and
How Your Mind Works difficulties are far healthier than those who evade them”.
Confronters versus evaders.
1. The conscious mind: thinking mind-one thought at a 7. Anger:
time(positive or negative) a) a response you choose to a particular situation (usually
a) Identifies: six senses feel victimized or taken advantage of)
b) Compares b) perception of aggression towards you>adrenaline>fight
c) Analyses or flight
d) Decides i) Get it under control
2. The subconscious mind: memory bank-unlimited ii) You are responsible
capacity c) Use the gap between stimulus & response, it’s
a) Stores yours
b) Retrieves
c) Receives commands from conscious Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Influence: Concentrate on things
Any idea or thought you accept as true in your conscious mind you can affect rather than worry about things you can’t.
will be automatically accepted in your subconscious. “A man Turn failure into success: acknowledge it and learn from it!
becomes what he thinks of most of the time.” There’s no sense in making mistakes if you can’t learn from
them!
It is the calm, confident, expectant, positive emotion, combined
with relaxation that activates your subconscious and brings
about rapid change.

Review your goals each morning, it sends signals to your


subconscious mind. Reviewing your goals in the evening,
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Just a Few of Life’s Little Secrets! Just a Few of Life’s Little Secrets!

Take Control Constructive Criticism: leaves the person feeling better & more
capable of doing better in the future.
1. The law of control: you feel positive about yourself to the 1. Reinforce their value, start by listing positive things
degree in which you are in control of your life. Internal vs 2. Focus on future not past
external locus-“no one can make you feel inferior without 3. Focus on behavior not the person
your consent” 4. “I feel this” vs. “you make me so angry”…
Take control: take action or walk away from bad situation 5. Clear agreement on what must change, in the future
2. The law of cause and effect: you reap what you sow 6. Offer help
3. The law of belief: whatever you believe becomes your 7. Forget it-Don’t keep bringing up past behaviours
reality “If you believe you can do a thing or believe you
cannot, in either case you’re right” The law of practice: “whatever action you repeat often enough
4. The law of expectations: What you get is not what you want becomes a new habit.”
but rather what you expect! “Expect the very best of
yourself in every situation” Inverse paranoia-great things Keep your mind only on the things you want, and off the things
will happen you don’t want. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
5. The law of Attraction: You are a living magnet (+ attracts +)
“Losers love losers” Seven ways to control your mental life: Control how you talk to
6. The law of correspondence: Your outer world is a yourself!
reflection of your inner world “when you are feeling 1. Visualization>becomes reality
positive and confident and in control of your life, your a) frequency
home, your car, your workplace will tend to be well b) vividness
organized and efficient” c) intensity: emotion
d) duration
“Everyone is self-employed’ “Your subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between a
“You only feel good about yourself to the degree to which you real experience and one you vividly imagine.”
feel you are in control of your own life.”

Self Concept: “You can never be different on the outside than


you believe to be on the inside”

Self esteem: Retain a sense of inner value independent of


external circumstances. Hold yourself to a higher standard when
things go wrong. Attitude is often judged by your reaction when
things go wrong!

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