Sita: Beyond the Ideal Wife

Emma Spickard
1532169
Ramayana in Comparative Perspective
Due: June 2
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Sita. Janaki. Vaidehi. Maithili. Wife to Lord Rama. The Ideal Wife. The Ideal Woman.

All names and identities by which Sita of the Ramayana is known. It is rare to find Sita

considered as a feminist ideal, or even beyond her identity as the ideal of womanhood. Many

self-identified feminists of today bemoan Sita as a perpetuation of patriarchal society. There is

validity in this critique: many individuals point to Sita’s passivity as evidence of Sita’s

subjugation by Rama, her husband. There are instances throughout Valmiki’s Ramayana in

which Sita is maltreated, and her voice silenced. A poignant example is the Agni Pariksha, Sita’s

trial by fire. There has been effort by some individuals to create Ramayanas that center Sita: for

example, Sita’s Ramayana of Samhita Arni, a comic book which retells the story through her

lens. Similarly, Sita Sings the Blues is an animated exploration of Sita’s story by Nina Paley.

While I applaud these new versions of the Ramayana and their attempt to better center Sita as the

female protagonist, I believe there is opportunity to reinterpret Valmiki’s Ramayana and

highlight a more complex Sita that exists within this text.

Interpretation of the Ramayana extends beyond questions that only interest academia:

instead the Ramayana has a lasting reach on Indian culture. From household norms to legal

proceedings, the Ramayana impacts women living in India today. In an often cited example, it

was ruled that a wife must follow her husband during his relocation for work. The Bombay High

Court made their decision based on the idea that “a wife should be like Goddess Sita who

followed her husband Lord Ram into the forest and stayed there for 14 years” (Hindustan Times

2012).

Given the cultural relevance and authority bestowed upon The Ramayana, it is

worthwhile to examine the text for evidence of a stronger Sita practical to women today. My

purpose in this endeavor is not to claim the Ramayana as a feminist text, nor state that Sita is the
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ultimate feminist heroine. My aim instead is to carve out space into the Valmiki Ramayana from

which women of today can look to Sita as more than just an ideal wife and an ideal of marriage. I

will argue that Valmiki’s Sita is a complex character who demonstrates defiance in the face of

constrained choices, and who can be interpreted as an ideal beyond her role as a wife.

Before embarking on this endeavor, I will concede that I am a Western feminist. It is

easier for me, due to my cultural background, to reinterpret the text of Valmiki and his words.

My reinterpretation is limited due to the fact that I am not Indian, nor do I have strong

background in interpretation of Indian text. I am also constrained by the fact that I am utilizing a

translation to highlight episodes of Sita’s defiance, which could vary from the original Sanskrit

text. I would also like to acknowledge that I will only be looking at Valmiki’s Sita for a variety

of reasons. Firstly, this is the version of the Ramayana with which I am the most familiar. I have

also selected it because it is commonly upheld as the original Ramayan, and has wielded large

influence particularly in academic circles (Richman 1991: 5).

Beyond the Wife Role

Today, when young girls in India are asked to cite role models, they suggest names like

Mother Teresa or Gandhi. However, many women closer in age to marriage view Sita as an ideal

(Kishwar 2001: 286). This points to the common narrative of Sita: she is to be admired through

her context to Rama as a wife, and not through any actions of her own. Feminists have rejected

Sita for her passiveness and deference to her husband, often choosing to uphold Draupadi of the

Mahabharata as the preferable model due to her more active protest against her husbands

(Kishwar 2001: 304). However, Draupadi lacks the popularity held by Sita, suggesting a missed

opportunity to imbue a more culturally regarded figure, Sita, with a more positive light, rather

than dismissing her as many feminists have.

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As I mentioned above, in lieu of claiming her as the ultimate feminist heroine, I hope to

highlight a more pragmatic feminist use for Sita for women of all ages and relationship statuses.

This is not to say that the episodes I highlight are the only applicable strengths of Sita for today.

Examples of Sita’s strength though will focus on her actions even in the face of constrained

choices: an intentionally relatable situation for many women in India today.

While it is a completely different project to look at feminism in India, it is important to

acknowledge that in India, the ism of feminism carries less positive connotations compared to

the West (Kishwar 2004: 35). Upon the arrival of feminism to India, the upward mobility it

offered was really only an option for western educated women (Kishwar 2004: 44). Feminism

has not offered many women in India tangible avenues to improve their lives. Instead, gender

equality has been longer understood in India through the concept of “individual women’s

assertiveness” and “the tradition of goddess worship, of seeing the feminine as shakti (power) to

be feared and revered” (Kishwar 2004: 35). While the previous instances in which I have used

feminism in this paper reflect its core definition based upon political, social and economic rights

for women, from now on in the discussion of Sita I hope to instead view her through the lens of

individual assertiveness which is more applicable to supporters of gender equality in India.

I will use Valmiki’s text to highlight shakti wielded by Sita and how in many instances

she portrays defiance and individual assertiveness. Of interest is when Sita’s defiance is in the

face of limited choice. Many women have to operate within a framework of constrained

freedoms within marriages, and society, today. One example of constrained freedoms is that “the

outcome of marriage in India depends not just on the attitude, but as much on the kind of

relationship a woman has with her marital family and extended kinship group” (Kishwar 2001:

305). In this context, the Sita I will present as an ideal does not rebel in large or risky ways.
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Instead, the Sita I hope to elucidate serves a more pragmatic purpose and models ideal behavior

in situations where her choices are constrained.

Persuasive Rhetoric

Sita’s persuasive language is one method by which she exerts her power in the

Ramayana. A poignant episode is when she convinces Rama to let her join him upon his exile.

Her argument shows a strong progression that employs persuasive techniques and leads to Ram’s

ultimate concession that she may join him. Sita’s persuasion utilizes three approaches: firstly,

she invokes dharma and the idea of both Rama’s duty and her wifely duty. “In this life...a woman

follows...only her husband” (Sitar 2010: Chapter 5, p. 139). It is strategic of Sita to use customs

around marriage and wifely expectations to convince Rama, particularly due to the weight Rama

places on dharma, as evidenced by his acceptance of his exile based on it being his dharmic duty

(Sattar 2010: Chapter 3, 126). In this sense, Sita uses Rama’s own values and logic in her

argument to convince him.

Sita’s second approach attacks the heroic and masculine identity of Rama: “how did my

father...get you, a woman disguised as a man, for a son-in-law! The world is wrong when they

say that there is no one greater than Rama who blazes like the sun! What could possibly have

made you so depressed and frightened that you wish to leave me here” (Sattar 2010: Chapter 5,

p. 140). Rather than leveraging Rama’s values against him here, Sita leverages Rama’s own

identity. She equates his decision to not bring her into the woods with being a cowardly decision,

which threatens his masculinity and identity as a hero.

Sita’s third approach is her threatened suicide: “I am yours now and I am devoted to

you...otherwise I shall kill myself” (Sattar 2010: Chapter 5, p. 142). Within her limited power,

this is something that Sita can leverage against the men in her life. It is interesting to see that Sita
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repeats this threat throughout The Ramayana. Once when Sita forces Laksmana to follow the cry

of Rama and leave her alone (Sattar 2010: Chapter 5, 274), and the second time upon refusing a

second Agni Pariksha when Sita returns to her Mother Earth, effectively a suicide in that her

physical body is removed.

Another instance of Sita’s persuasion is upon the couple’s arrival in the wilderness when

Sita warns Rama about not committing violence needlessly: “The inflicting of violence and

cruelty upon other beings without reason or enmity, that weakness appears to be present in you

now. You have promised to kill the raksasas...it disturbs me a great deal when I see you like this”

(Sattar 2010: Chapter 1, 233-234). The word choice used by Sita is not passive but instead direct,

and serves to put blame on Rama. Firstly, Sita presents that the inflicting of violence is a

weakness, and takes it a step further and actually accuses Rama of presently demonstrating this

weakness. She also directly states her feelings about the situation: “it disturbs me”, which gives

her an active voice regarding how the scenario personally affects her. Sita goes on in her

argument to remind Rama of the story of Indra who provided an ascetic with a sword: leading

the ascetic towards a life of violence. This is followed by a strong bargaining line: “I am

reminding you of this tale not because I presume to instruct you but because I love and respect

you” (Sattar 2010: Chapter 1, p. 234). By paralleling the story of the ascetic with her accusation

of Rama’s violent nature, Sita serves to put Rama into the shoes of a man renouncing all that he

finds important. For Rama, this is dharma, instead of austerities specifically. Sita also wields her

role as a wife creatively here. Rather than appear overbearing in her lesson, Sita suggests that her

message is coming from a place of love and respect. This is a ‘soft power’ she can wield, and is

something that makes Rama more susceptible to the message she is trying to accomplish.
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It is indubitable that women have the right, and need, to challenge their husbands, fathers

and friends. To look to Sita in her moments of persuasion reveal effective techniques of

argument and additionally show that this ideal woman does not hold her tongue and instead

challenges the men in her life persuasively.

Wit of Refusal even in the Face of Danger

Sita’s abduction is the epitome of her losing her freedom of choice, and still Sita uses her

limited tools to assert herself during this scene. One of the largest critiques of Sita is her passive

nature and how she does little to protect herself from her abduction by Ravana, however, this

detracts from the powerful wit and rhetoric with which she reproaches the antagonist of The

Ramayana. In the following passage, Sita asserts herself as not going without a fight even in the

face of imminent danger: “How can a jackal like you covet a lioness like me? I am as far from

you as the shining, golden sun!... If you think you can carry off Rama’s beloved wife, you might

as well pluck out your eyes with a needle, or lick the edge of knife with your tongue” (Sattar

2010: 279). What stands out in this passage of Sita’s retort is the levels of hierarchy with which

she taunts and belittles Ravana, even though she risks further angering him. Despite being

unarmed with weapons, Sita’s words equate her kidnapping with Ravana physically harming

himself. While not tangibly effective to save her, this passage still evokes vira rasa through the

strength of Sita’s conviction in her own status- “a lioness like me” (Sattar 2010: 279) and

through her courageousness in attempting to defy Ravana even when her chances of escape are

so slim. What is powerful about this passage is that vira rasa tends to convey images of an

unbeatable hero. However, Valmiki’s text juxtaposes the courageousness of Sita with her own

physical fear: “Even though the chaste woman spoke so fearlessly to the wicked raksasa, she was

trembling like a slender banana plant in a high wind” (Sattar 2010: 279). By doing this, Sita is a
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more relatable image of vira rasa for women today. Often, it can be hard for women to assert

their own rights and ensure their personal safety. This scene of retort against Ravana can be

looked at as a scene that is acted out as women walk home alone at night: in India and here in the

United States. When facing unwanted advances or attention by men, women face the decision if

they retort or stay silent for fear of further provoking attention, or worse, violence. In the case of

Sita, we see that she does not stay silent but instead uses her words to give her power: she speaks

“fearlessly” (Sattar 2010: 279) even when her instincts force her to tremble.

Agni Pariksha: Quiet Defiance in the Face of Constrained Choices

Reinterpretation of the Agni Pariksha reveal Sita’s defiance and strong self-conviction

once again in a situation where her choices exist beyond her control. One of the most criticized

episodes in the Ramayana is the Agni Pariksha when Sita’s purity is put into question by Rama

and must be proven. There are two avenues by which one can approach the Agni Pariksha in

order to interpret the behavior of Sita. Firstly, one can look at the Agni Pariksha similarly to how

we have looked at other specific scenarios of Sita: as Sita defying within the constraints of

society. “You have surrendered to your anger and acted like a common man and you have treated

me like a low and vulgar woman!... The fact that we are married and that I am devoted to you is

of no consequence to you at all!” (Sattar 2010: Chapter 13, p. 635). Through this passage Sita

calls out Rama for making her go through this test. She goes so far as to describe his actions as

those of “a common man:” an ironic insult since in mere moments Rama’s divinity is revealed to

him (Sattar 2010). For a character like Rama who represents the ideal King and follower of

dharma, Sita’s insults that he has allowed emotion to drive his actions and that these are actions

atypical of a disciplined man carry great weight and serve to attack his very identity as a dharmic

character in The Ramayana. Sita also uses her words to assert herself: “my conduct has always
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been impeccable” (Sattar 2010: Chapter 13, p. 635) and further elucidates the injustice of the

test.

So strong is her conviction in herself though that it is Sita herself who demands the

building of the pyre: “Build a funeral pyre for me, Laksmana! I cannot bear to live under these

false accusations! Despite my virtues, my husband has rejected me in front of all these people.”

(Sattar 2010: Chapter 13, p. 635). These words provide evidence that Sita is not undergoing the

Agni Pariksha to please Rama or to clear her name. She enters the trial by fire asserting that the

accusations are “false” and fully places the blame onto Rama that he has “rejected” her. While

Sita is forced socially to undergo the trial, it is Sita that ultimately demands the pyre’s

construction, and she actively points out the flaws of Rama through the ordeal.

Many modern individuals in India view Rama as being more flawed than Sita (Kishwar

2001: 304), and in reading the text of Valmiki, it is clear that Rama is painted in the wrong and

Sita in the right. Upon her survival, Agni, the God of Fire, even asserts “I will not tolerate any

criticism of her!” (Sattar 2010: Chapter 13, p. 638) showing even a divine support of Sita.

Similarly, Kishwar supports this viewpoint: “Sita does not signify an act of slavish surrender to

the whims of an unreasonable husband; instead it is an act of defiance that challenges her

husband’s aspersions, a means of showing him to be so flawed in his judgment that the gods

have to come to show up Ram for his foolishness” (Kishwar 2001: 306). By this lens of

reinterpretation, the Agni Pariksha transforms into an episode where Sita emerges victorious in

her conviction with herself, and Rama is left flawed, even in the eyes of the divine.

People have also chosen to look at the Agni Pariksha in an entirely different light. If we

isolate and look at Sita’s actions alone--outside of the context that Sita must prove herself against

patriarchal accusations--then Sita’s actions become incredibly active and powerful. As Nina
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Paley, creator of Sita Sings the Blues interprets: “Sita’s walk through fire is actually an active

expression of a heartbreak experience. In this way Sita is far more active than most of us” (Paley

& Lal 2000: 125). Nina’s analysis is also personal: the Agni Pariksha became a metaphor for

grief she looked to upon her divorce with her husband. In this modern light, Sita’s actions during

the Agni Pariksha become an active expression of pain which women of today can look to. Sita,

the ideal, suffered similar to themselves. Through both interpretations, the Agni Pariksha

becomes an active event performed by Sita.

Active Choices within Constraints

Sita repeatedly acts within patriarchal contexts in order to garner as much freedom as she

can. Upon her reunion with Rama, Rama makes it clear that he will only “be able to love her

again” if she undergoes a second trial to “prove her innocence” (Sattar 2010: Chapter 2, p. 677).

Sita’s final poignant act of defiance comes with her refusal to participate in such a trial; and to an

even more powerful degree, her refusal to participate further in the story of Rama: “Sita, wearing

an ochre robe, joined her palms. Her head was bowed... ‘If I have never thought about any other

man but Rama, let the goddess Madhavi create a chasm for me!” (Sattar 2010: Chapter 2, p.

677). Rather than proving herself once again, Sita returns to where she came from: the furrows of

the Earth, and finally leaves her corporeal body behind. While some may criticize Sita for ending

her own life, this is her final act of asserting her own right to choose.

It also prevents Rama from being absolved from the guilt he had incurred from exiling

Sita since there is no future for the couple to reconcile this action. Instead, Sita removes herself

from the context of Rama and the world on her own terms. While Sita threatens suicide in earlier

episodes--like her persuasion of Rama to take her on his exile-- she had previously explained this

from a place of love and not wanting to exist without Rama. However, in this scenario, Rama
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explains his love is only achievable if she undergoes a trial: Sita’s final exit rejects the love

Rama offers her. As Sonal Mansingh, an Indian classical dancer and social activist, claims:

“Asked to prove her purity for the second time, [Sita] despairs at the limits of masculine

strictures on women, and prefers to return to her mother Earth. Sita asserts her choices but in the

context of social interactions” (Mansingh & Tripath 2000: 94). Sita’s character must make

choices and exist in a hyper-masculine context always in relation to Rama: for her to defy his

wish and define her exit from The Ramayana elucidates a Sita who makes the most of her limited

freedoms and defines a situation on her own terms.

By extension in modern times, women can draw the parallel that they are justified in

removing their own corporeal body from the decision making of their husbands. Gandhi pushed

for women to resist being only an “object of man’s lust” (Kishwar 2001: 298) stating that he

could not “imagine Sita even wasting a moment on pleasing Rama by physical charms” (Kishwar

2001: 298). Gandhi’s claim is supported by extension if one looks at Sita’s actions in refusing a

second Agni Pariksha: rather than permitting Rama to dictate how her corporeal body is tested

for purity, Sita removes her corporeal body from The Ramayana.

Conclusion

Through this endeavor, I hope to have complicated the image of Sita as the ideal wife

alone. Sita’s story is one of limited freedoms and choice. Rather than blame her for such

conditions, it is important to examine how she maneuvers her way through the Ramayanas.

Today we can applaud and learn from Sita for her creative use of persuasion, her ability to speak

even in the face of danger, her defiance and conviction through her trial by fire, and her

autonomous removal of herself from the narrative. In a study in Uttar Pradesh in 1957, over 800

children aged 9-22 years old predominantly chose Sita as the ideal woman from a list of 24
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prominent figures (Kishwar 2001: 303). It is clear that Sita, and all that she symbolizes, still

carry immense weight in India today. It is important then that scholarship gives attention to

Valmiki’s Sita for more than her role as a wife, and that we do not entirely abandon the Sita of

400 BC for more emboldened Sitas. It is important that we complicate the vision of Valmiki’s

Sita as passive alone, for we have lessons to learn from her beyond her identity as the wife to

Lord Rama.
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SOURCES:

1.   May 9, 2012. A Wife Should Be Like Goddess Sita: Court. Hindustian Times.

2.   Kishwar, Madhu in Richman. 2001. Yes to Sita, No to Ram: The Continuing Hold of Sita

on Popular Imagination in India. Berkeley, University of California Press: 2001.

3.   Sattar. 2010. Valmiki: The Ramayana. New Delhi, India: Penguin Books India.

4.   Mansignh, Sonal & Tripathi, Rina in Lal & Gokhale. 2000. Sita’s Luminous Strength.

India: Penguin Books India.

5.   Paley, Nina & Lal, Malashri in Lal & Gokhale. 2000. Sita Sings the Blues: India:

Penguin Books India.

6.   Richman, Paula. 1991. One Introduction: The Diversity of the Ramayana Tradition.

PRESS AND PLACE OF PUBLISH.

7.   Kishwar, Madhu in Chaudhuri, Maitrayee. 2004. A Horror of ‘Isms’: Why I do not Call

Myself a Feminist.” India: Kali for Women & Women Unlimited.