Bulacan State University

College of Law
Legal Writing Notes
Atty. Edgardo R. Sison

1. What is legal writing?

It is the discipline governing the written aspect of practice of law. It covers the manner,
style and form of writing legal articles, correspondence, opinions, paper and more importantly,
court-bound documents such as pleadings composed of petitions or complaints, answer, reply,
rejoinder, affidavits, counter-affidavits, as well as motions, memorandum and position papers
that are all filed in court. It includes orders, decisions, judgments, awards of courts,
administrative bodies or arbitral tribunals.

In a real sense, legal writing is a sort of presentation. The lawyer should be able to make
a convincing presentation of his case in the limited time that he is able to hold his reader's
attention. To succeed in this, the lawyer needs diligent pre-work in the preparation of a good
write-up of the required paper or pleading.

2. What is good writing?

It entails clarity, conciseness, and correctness. It also includes simplicity and

persuasiveness. It entails avoidance of legalese, verbosity and redundancy, as well as adjustment
of language and style like the terms or wordings used, and approach and delivery of the subject
or topic depending on the purpose and target audience which could be preparing a brief for a
client, legal guide or inspirational talk to high school students or pleadings for the court.

a. Clarity - means presenting fact or information clearly leaving no doubt on the

mind of the reader. For example, say things in exact number or amount instead of “many” or
“several”. Organize facts in chronological order. Use numbering for each paragraph for easy
reference. Be plain meaning by observing the use of familiar and concrete words. Also, avoid
wide gaps between subject, verb and object by minimizing on modifiers, especially “nested
modifiers” which modify the modifiers, and misplaced or dangling modifiers. Putting modifiers
between the subject and verb or between the verb and object makes for tedious writing.

b. Conciseness – means to be succinct, brief or straight to the point. Avoid verbosity

and lengthy statements. Make use of paragraphs, sub-paragraphs, sub-headings to arrange your
work as well as guide the reader's eye. Write just enough by striking a balance between too little
and too much.

c. Correctness – the statements you write must represent the truth which are
verifiable and validated by competent sources such as the constitution, laws, jurisprudence,
customs and traditions, recognized authorities and experts, published books and treatises by
known authors in the legal profession, science-based data, testimonies of competent witnesses,
among others.

d. Simplicity – means to write plainly and simply by observing the rules on

“economy of expression.” Wordy expressions, convoluted words, word-constructions and
needless words must be avoided. This is best done by preferring shorter sentences, choosing
shorter words, minimizing the use of connectives and relative pronouns. Repetition or tautology
and elaborating on the obvious must also be avoided as much as possible.

e. Persuasiveness – is the ability to use any of the four modes of legal reasoning,
namely: 1) rule-based reasoning; 2) analogical and counter-analogical reasoning; 3) policy-based
reasoning; and 4) the narrative reasoning to influence the deciding authority to adopt an idea or
course of action in favor of one's client.
1) rule-based reasoning – the conclusion is reached by analyzing and applying the law,
rule or legal principle.

2) analogical and counter-analogical reasoning – There are three (3) types of this kind
of argument:

i. Arguing from precedent – showing similarities between the case decided by the
Supreme Court and the case of the client. This is usually achieved by invoking the doctrine of
stare decisis.

ii. Argument of same legal application – if a law applies to one area, it may also be
understood to apply to other similar areas. Mutatis mutandis is an example. It happens when
one compares multiple situtions having multiple variables where some variables remain
constant, while others are allowed to be changed.

iii.1 Argument using common sense analogy -analogical arguments may be used by
starting with something that everyone accepts.

iii.2 Counter-analogical reasoning – concludes by pointing out relevant differences

between the case and the client's facts. This usually debunks the opponent's use of analogical
reasoning.

3. Policy-based reasoning – reaches a conclusion by connecting the facts of the case to

the state's existing public policy or a company's private policy.

Narrative reasoning – conclusion by telling a story that shows the context, description
and perspective that appeals to commonly-held ideas of justice, mercy or fairness.

3. What is a legal dispute?

There is legal dispute when one party complains of a violation of his right by another
who, on the other hand, denies such violation. Stated differently, a legal dispute involves a
violation of a right protected by law or which violation the law punishes.

4. What is the significance of legal dispute in legal writing?

A failure to correctly identify the legal dispute together with its principal and sub-issues,
if any, and address them properly would cause the writer to argue in an illogical or off-tangent
manner. As a rule, the legal dispute, when recast or reworded in the format of an issue, provides
the principal issue in every case. For example, an apartment owner's claim that the tenant has
violated his right under the contract by not paying the required rent, and the tenant's denial of
the claim can be recast in the format of an issue, to wit: “whether or not the tenant violated the
lease by not paying the rent.”

5. Importance of the principal and sub-issues.

It is important because the writer weighs the significance of every argument that he wants
to use to persuade the reader by its relevance to such issues. Any argument that does not touch
base or relate with the issues would be quite useless and a waste of time.

6. Two stages of legal writing (Pre-work and Write-up)

1. Pre-work. This is the beginning of the writing assignment and it involves at least five
levels (see a-e below) of efforts:

a. Establishing where the legal dispute lies in the case.

This is the key to pre-work. Only when you have an idea of what the principal issue is,
could you make a good job of extracting the relevant facts from your case materials. There is a
need to go over the materials very quickly and determine preliminarily the principal issue or
issues involved in the case. It is only when you know the principal issue or at least have a
preliminary idea of what is about that you could do a correct job of making a summary of the
facts of your case.

b. Discovering its relevant facts.

There are two ways to quickly study case materials. One way is to make short random
notes of the facts of the case that you consider important as you over them. However, the notes
are often uncorrelated. They do not give a complete picture of the terrain of the case.

The other way is by summarizing. You can best understand and absorb written materials
when you summarize their contents. It compels you to assess the importance or significance of
an item of fact to the legal dispute and decide whether to keep it or throw it out of your
summary. This affords the writer the opportunity to get rid of irrelevant facts and putting in
order the events in the order of their occurrence. When the sequence of the events are in
disarray, with subsequent events told ahead of preceding ones or with frequent flashbacks to the
past as the story unfolds, you are likely to get confused by the cluttered facts that are likely out
of context or detached from their immediately surrounding circumstances.

c. Knowing the Constitution, laws, rules, jurisprudence, policies, customs and

traditions, treatises and works of known authors that apply to it.

This involves searching for the specific authorities that will either help or burden you in
prosecuting or defending your side of the dispute based on the facts of the case.

d. Identifying the relevant issue or multiple issues with or without

subordinating or sub-issues that you would address

Issues are usually identified when contending parties do not agree on certain matters in a
given case. Only issues that when resolved determine the outcome of the legal dispute are
relevant to the case.

i. Factual issue -an issue is factual when the contending parties cannot agree that a thing
exists or has actually happened.

ii. Legal Issue – an issue is legal when the contending parties assume a thing exists or has
actually happened but disagree on its legal significance or effect on their rights.

iii Subordinate controlling issue – an issue the resolution of which would invariably
resolve the principal issue. For example, the principal issue of whether or not the tenant has
violated the lease agreement by way of unpaid rentals may depend on the subordinate issue of
whether or not the rents may be deemed paid by set off of the lessor’s separate debt to the
tenant.

iv Threshold issue – issues that should be resolved before any consideration of the main
legal dispute or merit of the case is done. For example, issues on lack of jurisdiction,
prescription or venue are resolved first before the court takes cognizance of the merit of the case.

e. Roughing out (simply, rough draft of) the arguments that you would use.

The next step is to plan and rough out a balanced approach to your arguments on the
issues before writing them up. In crafting your arguments you need to be guided by your
THESIS STATEMENT or PROPOSITION.

A good argument should consider the structure of a balanced thesis presentation per
issue raised identified.
First, a clear statement of your thesis or where you stand on the issue to be resolved must be
made. For example, X raped (or did not rape) Y. This is written down at the top of the draft
paper

Second, the argument that can be made against your position but with an explanation that those
arguments do not doom such position. For example, Z witnessed the rape incident. This is
written down just below your thesis and on the left side of the draft paper.

Third, the arguments in favor of your position are conceptualized. For example, Z was in
another place during the rape incident or Z is nearly blind. This is written down opposite or just
below the particular argument against your position to enable more analysis of the arguments.

Fourth, an appeal to the good sense of the person or persons who will resolve the issue/s is
made. For example, X’s good moral reputation, or rendering judgment in favor of accused in
the light of equipoise rule, or lack of credibility of witnesses. This is usually stated in the
conclusion or epilogue of the draft pleading.

Anatomy of a legal argument –An argument is a reason you offer to prove your thesis
presentation ( your thesis statement of proposition). It is based upon a combination of the right
rule and the right fact. For example, in the thesis or proposition that “ X should be punished for
crossing the red light,” the statement “crossing the red light is punishable by law” would be the
rule (also known as rule statement), while the statement “X crossed the red light” would
constitute the fact (also known as case fact statement) Finally, a conclusion (also known s
conclusion statement) can be made that “X should be punished by law.”

Note: A rule statement contains a key fact. In the above example, “crossing the red light” is the
key fact. When this key fact component is present in the case fact statement, a positive match
occurs, and such rule applies to the case fact. Of course, the rule refers to the various provisions
of the constitution, laws, regulations, jurisprudence, rules of court, principles and doctrines of
law, etc.

Tip - After doing the rough draft of the arguments and after making sure that all the data and
inputs needed for the case have been thoroughly researched on, try creative thinking by taking a
time out and enjoying some relaxation. Most often, with the issues and arguments still fresh on
your mind, answers will suddenly pop up to your doubts and unanswered questions. Be
prepared to note them down at once.

2. Write-up.

This involves preparation of the paper, motion or pleading to be filed or submitted. It

normally includes the following: a) Statement of the Case, b) Statement of Facts (stating the
plaintiff’s and defendant’s version.), c) the Issue or Issues involved, Arguments raised (with
separate heading), d) the Discussion on the arguments (with each argument raised discussed
separately and preceded by a sub-heading of the particular argument placed on the left side of
the paper), and e) the Relief sought (usually preceded by a “Prayer”).

Grammar and Style:

1. Passive Voice

The active voice is more effective than the passive voice. The active voice is simpler,
clearer, shorter, and more direct. In passive sentences, the format is object, verb, subject. Active
sentences follow a different format: subject, verb, object. Example: “The attorney faxed the
summary-judgment motion.” If the structure is object, verb, subject, then it’s a “single passive.”
A sign your sentence has a single passive is if you see the word “by.” Example: “The summary-
judgment motion was faxed by the attorney.” Use single passives to connect sentences or end a
sentence with emphasis. A double passive, also known as a blank or nonagentive passive, hides
the subject. Example: “The summary-judgment motion was faxed.” In that example, the reader
doesn’t know who faxed the motion. When you omit the subject, the actor is unknown. The
passive voice conceals information, is vague, and places emphasis wrongly. Write in the active
voice unless you’re using the double passive deliberately to emphasize the object rather than the
verb or you don’t know or care who the subject is.

Exercises: Passive Voice

Rewrite the following sentences:

1. The jurors were asked about their professional history.

A. This sentence contains a blank passive. We don’t know who asked the jurors about their
professional history. Corrected version: The attorneys asked the jurors about their
professional history.

2. After the jury deliberated for 10 days, defendant Rosen was found not guilty.
A. The sentence doesn’t state who found the defendant not guilty. Corrected version: After
the jurors deliberated for 10 days, they found defendant Rosen not guilty.

3. The decision was written by Judge Packer.

A. This sentence contains a single passive. It’s written in object, verb, subject formation.
Corrected version: Judge Packer wrote the decision.

2. Negative

Sentences written in the negative might appear acceptable, and there’s nothing
grammatically incorrect with them. But they aren’t preferred. It’s always better to write in the
positive. It looks and sounds better, and it’s easier to understand. Avoid negative prefixes or
suffixes “dis,” “ex,” “ill,” “ir,” “-less,” “mis,” “un,” and “non.” Eliminate negative
combinations: “never unless,” “none unless,” “not ever,” and “rarely ever.” Negative words to
exclude from your writing include “barely,” “except,” “hardly,” “neither,” “not,” “never,” “nor”,
“provided that,” and “unless.”

Exercises: Negative

Rewrite the following sentences:

1. An opening statement won’t be convincing unless it’s given with a smile.

A. This sentence contains a negative word “unless,” which frames it as a negative sentence.
Corrected version: An opening statement will be convincing if it’s given with a smile.
Better version: An opening statement given with a smile is convincing.

2. Most cases rarely even go to trial.

A. This sentence contains a negative combination, “rarely ever,” that you should stay away
from. Corrected version: Most cases settle before trial.

3. Not only did John run away from the police, but he also hid.
A. This sentence contains a negative word: “not.” Corrected version: John ran away and
hid from the police.

3. Metadiscourse

Metadiscourse is writing about your writing. A phrase like “for all intents and purposes”
is metadiscourse; it takes up space without adding anything substantive. Omit these phrases.
Other examples of metadiscourse: “the fact of the matter is,” “it is submitted that,” and “as a
matter of fact.”
Exercises: Metadiscourse

Rewrite the following sentences:

1. It is well settled that the defendant knew what she was doing before she stabbed the
victim.
A. The phrase “it is well settled that” adds no meaning to the sentence. Corrected version:
The defendant knew what she was doing before she stabbed the victim.

2. The judge told the jury, “It should not be forgotten that court is ending early today.”
A. The phrase “it should not be forgotten” is metadiscourse. It occupies space while not
adding anything. Corrected version: The judge told the jurors, “Court is ending early
today.”

3. Please be advised that cellphone use is prohibited.

A. This sentence contains the phrase “please be advised that,” an example of metadiscourse.
Corrected version: Cellphone use is prohibited.

4. Gender Neutrality

Gender neutrality in writing is a relatively new, and important, phenomenon. Not only is
sexist writing offensive, but it focuses the reader on style rather than content. There’re four
ways to rephrase gendered language. The first is to use plural forms, which allow you to replace
“he” and “she” with “they.” Example: “If he doesn’t appear in court, the trial will still go
forward.” Becomes “If they don’t appear in court, the trial will still go forward.” The second is
to eliminate the pronoun,; that might require you to rearrange the sentence. Example: “He who
isn’t a morning person should find a different line for work.” The third is to repeat the noun.
Example: “A court officer will escort you to the jury room. The officer will do so once all the
jurors are assembled.” The fourth is to use a second-person pronoun like “you,” “your,” or
“yours.” Example: “She who has patience should work in Family Court.” Becomes “If you
have patience, you should work in Family Court.”

Another way to be gender neutral is to use “person” rather than “man” and “woman.”
Rather than using “policeman,” “chairman,” “mailman,” “stewardess,” and “fireman,” use
“police officer,” “chair,” “letter carrier,” “flight attendant,” and “firefighter”.” If you see the
suffices “-man,” or “-ess,” delete them. If you see masculine terms using the word “man,” delete
them. Use “one” to make the sentence gender neutral. Example: “To boldly go where no one
has gone before.” Use gender-neutral parallel language: If you use “man,” use “woman.” If
you use “husband,” use “wife.” Make your subject agree with their predicates. Avoid the
inelegant “he or she,” “s/he,” or alternating between “he” and “she.”

Exercises: Gender Neutrality

Rewrite the following sentences:

1. New Jersey is New York’s sister state.

A. Use gender-neutral terms. Unless someone is really a sister or brother, replace “sister” or
“brother” with “sibling.” Corrected version: New Jersey is New York’s sibling state.

2. A judge can’t be biased. She must be impartial.

A. This sentence isn’t gender neutral. It uses the female pronoun. Making the noun plural
is one way to make the sentence gender neutral. Corrected version: Judges can’t be
biased. They must be impartial. Better version: A judge can’t be biased. A judge must
be impartial.

3. Madam Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has been a United States Supreme Court Associate
 Justice since 1993.
A. This sentence isn’t gender neutral. It uses a term reserved for a female. Eliminate
“Madam.” Corrected version: Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has been a United States
Supreme Court Associate Justice since 1993.

5. Nominalizations

A nominalization occurs when an added suffix turns a verb into a noun. Your writing
shouldn’t have any nominalizations. They’re wordy and abstract. Use a strong verb rather than
a noun. You want your sentence to show action. Example: “The court reached the decision that
. . .” becomes “The court decided that . . . . “ Avoid buried verbs that end with these suffixes: “-
tion,” “-sion,” “-ment,” “-ance,” and “-ity.” A “be” – very attached to a clause that ends in a
proportion should be eleiminated. Example: “Be in attendance becomes “attend.”

Exercises: Nominalizations

Rewrite the following sentences:

1. The intern provided assistance to the attorney.

A. The nominalization is “assistance.” Choose the strong verb “assist.” Corrected version:
The intern assisted (or, better, helped) the attorney.

2. The committee members said they’ll take my application into consideration.

A. The nominalization is “consideration.” Choose the strong verb “consider.” Corrected
version: The committee members said they’d consider my application.

3. The eyewitness provided an identification of the defendant.

A. The nominalization is “identification.” Choose the strong verb “identify.” Corrected
version: The eyewitness identified the defendant.

6. Legalese

Writing in legalese is a poor form of writing. Not only are legalisms confusing, but they
also have meanings you don’t fully grasp. Write in place English using simple and common
Anglo-Saxon words. Writing in plain English is formal and proper; avoid conversational
English. Eliminate words like “aforementioned,” “henceforth,” “hereinabove,” “whereby,” and
“said.” If you aren’t sure whether a word is legalese, ask yourself whether you’d say it in a
formal speech. Because writing is planned, formal speech, you shouldn’t write it if you
wouldn’t say it. Use legal terms only when necessary for terms of art or words that can’t be
translated into plan English.

Exercises: Legalese

Rewrite the following sentences:

1. Interns may dress casually on Fridays, as per the Judge.

A. “As per the Judge” can be eliminated. Corrected version: Interns may dress casually on
Fridays.

2. The aforementioned parties are currently in court.

A. Two words in this sentence should be eliminated: “aforementioned” and “currently.”
Both are unnecessary and wordy. Corrected version: The parties are in court.

3. Henceforth, no water bottles are allowed in the courtroom.

A. You wouldn’t use “henceforth” in a formal speech, so don’t write it. Corrected version:
No water bottles are allowed in the courtroom.
7. Cowardly Qualifiers

Eliminate doubtful, hedged, timid, and misleading phrases and words: “apparently,” “as
far as I’m concerned,” “basically,” “practically,” “it might be said,” “it seems,” “more or less,”
“nearly,” and “somewhat.” Don’t combine letters and numbers. Example: “four (4).”
Eliminate cowardly expressions: “at or near,” “on or about,” and “on or before.” These
expressions should be used only when writing a complaint and the exact places or times are
unknown. When discussing an exception to a rule rather than the rule, use “generally,”
“typically,” and “usually.” Example: “Generally, we only allow customers to use the restrooms.
But your emergency situation is an exception.”

Exercises: Cowardly Qualifiers

Rewrite the following sentences. You might have to add words to make the sentence readable.

1. The defendant probably pleaded guilty solely because his attorney told him to plead
guilty.
A. Eliminate “probably” to avoid uncertainty. Corrected version: The defendant pleaded
guilty solely because his attorney told him to plead guilty.

2. Apparently, the owner of the store threatened to shoot the teenager if the teenager didn’t
leave the premises.
A. Get rid of “apparently.” Corrected version: The owner of the store threatened to shoot
the teenager if the teenager didn’t leave the premises.

3. The accident occurred at or near the intersection of Union Turnpike and Springfield
Boulevard.
A. “At or near” is a cowardly expression. Eliminate it; the exact place of the accident is
known. Corrected version: The accident occurred at the intersection of Union Turnpike
and Springfield Boulevard.

8. Modifiers

Modifiers are words, phrases, or clauses that act as adjectives or adverbs. Modifiers
should point clearly to the words they modify. Modifiers can be misplaced, squinting, or
dangling. Place modifiers next to the words they modify.

Misplaced modifiers are placed too far from the word or words they modify. Misreadings
arise when phrases or words are misplaced. Example: “I went to a lawyer with legal problems.”
By writing the sentence this way, the reader will believe that the lawyer, not you, has legal
problems.

A squinting modifier can refer to the word before it or the word after it. But a modifier
should modify only one word. Place these modifiers right before or right after the words they
modify. Placing the modifiers elsewhere will allow for a meaning different from what you
intended Example: “A modifier should only modify one word.” Becomes “A modifier should
modify only one word” because we want to place emphasize on “one word.” Squinting
modifiers include “almost,” “also,” “even,” “exactly,” “hardly,” “just,” “merely,” “nearly,”
“scarcely,” “simply,” “solely.”

Dangling modifiers (dangling participle phrases) fail to refer logically to any word in the
sentence. Example: “Though only 18, the judge found the young defendant guilty on all
charges.” This sentence suggests that the judge is only 18 years old. You have two ways to fix
dangling modifiers: (1) include the subject of the sentence; or (2) turn the modifier into a word
group and include the subject. Corrected version: “Although the defendant was only 18, the
judge found him guilty on all charges.” Dangling participles describe something left out of a
sentence. Example: “Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.” This phrase
dangles; it doesn’t answer who writes carefully or who must avoid dangling participles.
Corrected version: “To write carefully, one must avoid dangling participles.” To fix dangling
participles, identify who’s doing what to whom to point out clearly the subject and avoid double
passives.

Exercises: Modifiers

1. Answer questions can be difficult during cross-examination.

A. Repositioning “during cross-examination” is essential to avoid misplacing modifiers.
Corrected version: Answering questions during cross-examination can be difficult.

2. The defendant only pleaded guilty to two charges, not them all.
A. This sentence is ambiguous. “Only” is a squinting modifier. In this case, it limits the
word “two” and should be placed right before it. Corrected version: The defendant
pleaded guilty only to two charges, not them all.

3. Jurors are vigilantly encouraged to read through documents.

A. The word “vigilantly” should be placed next to the word “documents.” “Vigilantly”
describes how the documents should be read. Corrected version: Jurors are encouraged
to read documents vigilantly.

9. Wordiness

Short sentences are read and understood more easily than long ones. And many legal
documents are unnecessarily wordy. Writer’s use of the word of is a main contributor to
wordiness. When possible, invert or rearrange a sentence to delete of.

Some tips:

Delete and, if necessary, replace as of.

Delete of after “all” and “both,” except when followed by a pronoun.
Delete of after “alongside,” “inside,” “off,” and “outside.”
Delete of in dates and years.
Revise sentences to remove of abstractions, such as “factor of,” “kind of,” “matter
of,” “sort of,” “state of,” and “type of.”
Use “except for” to replace “outside of.”

In addition, remove redundant words and phrases (example: “In some instances”
becomes “Sometimes”) and substitute one word for a wordy prepositional phrase (example: “the
editing of articles” becomes “editing articles”). To write more crisply, write in the active voice,
and avoid nominalizations and legalese.

Exercises: Wordiness

Rewrite the following sentences:

1. The Supreme Court of the State of New York has subject-matter jurisdiction over this
case.
A. The word of is unnecessary in this sentence. Eliminate it. Corrected version: The New
York State Supreme Court has subject-matter jurisdiction over this case.

2. The attorney hasn’t filed the motion as of yet.

A. As of creates unnecessary wordiness. Eliminate it. Corrected version: The attorney
hasn’t filed the motion yet.
3. He’s the type of witness who’d lie under oath.
A. The words “is the type of witness who” are superfluous. Delete them. Corrected
version: He’d lie under oath.

10. That vs. Which vs. Who vs. Whom

Which word you choose between that and which affects how your readers will
understand the sentence. That is restrictive (defining); which is non-restrictive (non-defining).
Defining clauses provide essential information that is important for the sentence; non-defining
clauses introduce nonessential information. If the word or concept following that or which is
one of several, use that. If the word or concept expresses a totality, use which. Which should be
surrounded by a comma, whereas that shouldn’t have commas around it.

Use that as a structural device to aid understanding. Example: “The People alleged
defendant committed murder.” Becomes: “The People alleged that defendant committed
murder.” In this sentence, adding that aids understanding because “The People” can’t alleged a
defendant.

Eliminate the nonstructural that. Example: “The advice that he gave to the class is not to
be wordy.” Becomes: “The advice he gave to the class is not to be wordy.”

Use that to distinguish between direct and indirect discourse. Direct discourse: “The
senior partner said, ‘Bill researched the issues.’” Always eliminate the extra that. Example:
The court attorney explained that although she will only draft the decision, that no one will read
it.” Becomes: “The court attorney explained that although she will only draft the decision, no
one will read it.” Replace “that that” with “that this” or “that the.”

Differentiate between that (or which) and who. That and which refer to things, entities,
concepts and animals. Who refers to people and to named animals and animals that have special
qualities. Who and whoever are used to refer to subjects and subject complements, whereas
whom and whomever are used to represent objects. To choose the correct pronounce, isolate the
subordinate clause and then decide how the pronoun functions within it. Who occasionally
functions as a subject complement in a subordinate clause. Subject complements occur within
the linking verbs am, are, be, been, being, and is.

Exercises: That vs. Which vs. Who vs. Whom

Rewrite the following sentences:

1. M&G is the law firm who represents the defendant.

A. Because the sentence is about which law firm represents the defendant, the name of the
law firm representing the defendant is essential information. Corrected version: M&G
is the law firm that represents the defendant.

2. The law clerk gave the judge the relevant law, which was meant to help the judge decide
the motion.
A. Because this sentence implies that the law clerk gave the judge only the relevant law, this
sentence is a defining clause. Use that. Corrected version: The law clerk gave the judge
the relevant law that was meant to help the judge decide the motion. Or, better, delete
“that was meant”: The law clerk gave the judge the relevant law to help the judge decide
the motion.

3. It’s uncomfortable to sit on a chair which doesn’t have a cushion.

A. Because the subject of this sentence is one type of chair, it’s restrictive, which means we
should use that instead of which. Corrected version: It’s uncomfortable to sit on a chair
that doesn’t have a cushion.
10. Professional Tone

When writing, you get to choose which tone you’ll use. This decision is important
because your tone is what evokes emotion and reaction from your readers. Because legal writing
is formal, avoid casual, impertinent, and joking tones. Keep your sentences short. Short
sentences are businesslike and to the point. To avoid seeming biased, use objective language
whenever possible. When conveying thoughts on a matter or person, remember that a true
statement needn’t contain disparaging or otherwise offensive language. Avoid biased modifiers
and conclusions. Don’t tell; show. Don’t just write something. Set out the facts that show why
you’re right. Cut your adjectives and adverts. Understate; never exaggerate.

Exercises: Professional Tone

Rewrite the following sentences:

1. An employee who’s running late should at least call to let his manager know he’ll be late.
A. This sentence lacks tact. Correct it. Make the sentence gender neutral. Corrected
version: Employees should notify their manager if they’re going to be late.

2. The prosecutor’s motion should be denied. His argument is based on a preposterous

claim.
A. Calling the argument “preposterous” is unnecessarily disparaging and will lead to reader
push-back. Think twice before using biased conclusions.

3. The lawyer was very rude to the judge.

A. This sentence contains disparaging language. Explain what made the lawyer come
across as rude. Corrected version: The lawyer interrupted the judge several times during
the oral arguments. And cut “very.”

11. Absolutes and Adverbial Excesses

Avoid using absolutes like always or never. These words are rarely accurate. Avoid
adverbial excesses, too. Legal writers often use words like certainly, clearly, and undoubtedly in
place of a strong argument. Why is a statement clear? What makes a statement incontrovertible?
If you have answers to these two questions, you should explain them. Although concision is key,
don’t use an adverbial excess to save words. If you don’t explain yourself thoroughly, your
readers will begin to doubt the strength of your arguments and the veracity of y our claims.

Exercises: Absolutes and Adverbial Excesses

Rewrite the following sentences:

1. When Mr. Robinson was arrested for possession, he said that he was “just holding it for a
friend” – which is ridiculous; that’s never the truth.
A. The unedited sentence contained both a disparaging word (“ridiculous”) and an absolute
word (“never”). Remove both. Corrected version: When Mr. Robinson was arrested for
possession, he said he was “just holding it for a friend.”

2. Ms. Williams is a drug addict. As you know, Your Honor, drug addicts always lie about
their drug habits.
A. It’s inaccurate to say that drug addicts “always” lie about their drug habits. Rephrase the
sentence. Corrected version: Ms. Williams is a drug addict. AS you know, Your Honor,
she might not be entirely forthcoming about her drug habits.

3. The complaint is obviously ridiculous.

A. Calling a complaint “obviously ridiculous” is rude. Write that the complaint “lacks
 merit” or is “unfounded” instead. Then explain why it lacks merit or is unfounded.
Corrected version: The complaint is unfounded because of X, Y, and Z.

12. Specificity

Concision is key, but legal writers should never sacrifice specificity for brevity. In legal
writing, specificity is more important than concision. Just as ambiguity in a contract benefits the
party that didn’t draft the contract, ambiguity in legal writing benefits adversaries. The law is
precise; there should be no room for possible misinterpretations or misunderstandings. Be
precise. Repeat sentence subject if you must. When in doubt, specify. Don’t use vague
pronouns or referents like it unless the pronoun or referent refers to one thing only. Choose the
words that convey the precise meaning you intend. Settle for nothing less than accuracy, clarity,
and precision. Here are some tips to do this:

Use adjectives to clarify nouns, especially if the noun can refer to more than one person,
place, or thing.
Use demonstrative adjectives (that, these, such, etc.) instead of articles (the).
Remove unnecessary qualifiers from your sentences.

Exercises: Specificity

Rewrite the following sentences.

1. Mr. Katz’s granddaughter lives with him.

A. You should specify which granddaughter lives with Mr. Katz, especially if he has more
than once granddaughter or if not all his granddaughters live with him. IN addition,
should specify where he lives. Corrected version: Mr. Katz’s youngest granddaughter,
Caitlin, lives with him in his house in Marietta, Georgia.

2. At the time of the alleged incident, my client was shopping.

A. This sentence can be made more specific. Corrected version: My floral Vera Bradley
bag was stolen.

3. My bag was stolen.

A. Specify which bill you’re talking about. Corrected version: The health care bill doesn’t
have bipartisan support.

13. Parallelism

Parallelism requires all elements in a list or a sentence to be presented in a similar – or

parallel fashion. By using the same or similar grammatical form for coordinated elements,
parallelism makes the content of a sentence apparent and accessible. (“Similar grammatical
form” means that nouns are matched with other nouns, verbs are matched with other verbs,
prepositional phrases with other prepositional phrases, and so on. Coordinated elements include
“and,” “but,” “or,” “nor,” and so on.) match key words in each sentence. Coordinating
conjunctions, correlative conjunctions (such as either/or, neither/nor, both/and, not only/but
also), and comparisons should also be parallel.

Exercises: Parallelism

Rewrite the following sentences.

1. Not only were the court clerks afraid of the judge but also the court attorney.
A. This sentence sounds incomplete. It should be rephrased to sound clearer. Corrected
version: The court clerks were afraid not only of the judge but also of the court attorney.
2. The defense attorney pleaded that his client was not guilty by reason of insanity, NGRI,
and that his client should be committed to a psychiatric facility.
A. There are two errors in this exercise. The first is that the word that is repeated. The
second is that the acronym (NGRI) is not in parentheses. Corrected version: The
defense attorney pleaded that because his client was not guilty by reason of insanity
(NGRI), the defendant should be committed to a psychiatric facility.

3. Officer Rodriguez saw the defendant and plaintiff at the scene of the crime.
A. Keep correlative conjunctions parallel to make the sentence legible. Also, eliminate all
wordiness from this sentence. Corrected version: Officer Rodriguez saw both the
defendant and the plaintiff at the crime scene.

14. Subject/Verb Proximity

Good sentences keep their subjects and verbs next to each other. The shorter the distance
between the subject and verb in a sentence, the greater the cohesion and understanding. A short
distance – or no distance – between the subject and the very also reduces wordiness.

Exercises: Subject/Very Proximity

Rewrite the following sentences.

1. Information about the surgical procedures Ms. Flores has undergone in the last ten years
will be required by the court.
A. This sentence can be rewritten in the active voice so that the subject and the verb are
closer together. Corrected version: The court will require information about Ms.
Flores’s surgical history from the last decade.

2. My paper, though it exceeded the page limit set by the professor, was accepted and given
an A-.
A. The subject is at the beginning of the sentence, while the verb is near the end of the
sentence. Corrected version: Although my paper exceeded my professor’s
predetermined page limit, he accepted it and even gave it an A-.

3. Charlie, who is set to become the owner of the company after his father’s death, wasn’t at
the board meeting discussing the future of the company.
A. This sentence can be rewritten so that the subject and the verb are closer together.
Corrected version: Although Charlie is set to become the company’s owner after his
father’s death, he wasn’t at the board meeting to discuss the company’s future.

15. Usage and Placement of Transition Words

You can’t eliminate transition words entirely, but you shouldn’t use a transition at the
beginning of a sentence unless you want to be dramatic or emphatic. Sometimes it’s
counterintuitive to use transitions at the end of your sentences. Doing do emphasizes the
transitions and forces readers to look back to earlier sentences. If drama. Emphasis, or contrast
is not desired, place the transition after the subject, in the first part of the sentence. There’s a
difference between “Although Paul’s always late, he’s a good worker” and “Although Paul’s a
good worker, he’s always late.” The meaning of this sentence depends on the emphasis of the
transition word although.

Don’t be afraid to begin sentences with “and” or “but.” But don’t start every sentence
with them. The rules of plain speaking and plain writing provide that it’s better to begin a
sentence with “and” or “but” than with “and” or “but” is formal enough for the front page of the
New York Times and the Wall Street Journal, it’s formal enough for legal writing.
 The best writing repeats key words, name, phrases, and concepts but doesn’t repeat
transition words. When possible, eliminate transition words altogether. If the logic that moves
your ideas forward is sound, your readers will connect the thoughts without needing transitional
devices like furthermore, however, moreover, and therefore. (If the transition word can’t be
eliminated completely, put a conjunctive adverb a third into the sentence.) To ensure that your
ideas are being developed soundly, move sentences from short to long, from simple to complex,
and from old to new, ending with power and climax. Include a topic sentence – a sentence that
clearly states what you’ll be discussing in the paragraph. And include a roadmap, or theses,
paragraph at the start of each point. Roadmaps tell your readers what’s being discussed, what
you’re arguing, and in which paragraph(s) of your brief they can find the information they desire
or need.

Exercises: Usage and Placement of Transition Words

Read the paragraphs below and edit them by using the transition usage and placement
rules to create a new, better paragraph.

On July 4, 2015, New York City native Joshua Brandt, along with his seven-year old
daughter, Carly, was at his neighbor’s house celebrating Independence Day by setting off
fireworks. First, they began with small-scale fireworks, such as sparklers, pop-rocks, and tanks.
Afterward, they moved onto larger fireworks, like Roman candles and cakes. Presumably
because shooting off fireworks as a private resident has been illegal in New York for decades,
the group was setting them off in the backyard. However, the backyard was small and no one
was able to put much space between them and the explosives. Consequently, everyone present
was at risk of getting burned. Regrettably, Carly was helping her neighbor set off a Roman
candle firework when it exploded prematurely. Carly and her neighbor, forty-year-old Dominic
Amato, were both injured in the blast. All things considered, they got off easy, but both had to
be hospitalized afterward. Amato sustained first-degree burns on his abdomen, and Carly
suffered second-degree burns to her face and chest. Ultimately, Amato was arrested for
possessing illegal fireworks. Also, Brandt was arrested, but his charges were dropped.
However, he has since brought a lawsuit against Amato, alleging that Amato is responsible for
Carly’s injuries and that he should therefore pay for damages.

1. Change the placement of the transition word in Sentence #2..

2. Combine Sentence #2 with Sentence #3 to eliminate the transition word in Sentence #3..
3. Replace the transition word in Sentence #4 with another word.

Answers: Usage and Placement of Transition Words

On July 4, 2015, New York City native Joshua Brandt, along with his seven-year-old
daughter Carly, was at his neighbor’s house celebrating Independence Day by setting off
fireworks. The first fireworks they set off were small – pop-rocks, sparklers, tanks, etc. – but as
the evening progressed they began setting off larger fireworks, including cakes and Roman
candles.

Since shooting off fireworks has been illegals for private residents in New York for
decades, though, the group was setting them off in the backyard. The neighbor’s backyard was
small, however, and everyone present was at risk of getting burned because it was impossible to
put much space between them and the explosives.

At approximately 10:00 p.m., Carly was helping her neighbor, 40-year-old Dominic
Amato, set off a Roman candle. It exploded prematurely, and both Carly and Amato were
injured in the blast. Amato, who sustained first-degree burns to his abdomen, and Carly, who
suffered second-degree burns to her face and chest, both had to be hospitalized.

After Amato was discharged from the hospital, he was arrested for possessing illegal
fireworks. Brandt was also arrested, but his charges were dropped. He later sued Amato,
alleging that Amato is responsible for Carly’s injuries and should therefore pay for the damages.
16. Quotations

It’s bad form to begin sentences or paragraphs with quotations. When you quote, give
context; a good lead-in to your quotation guides readers into the quotation and tells them what
they should look for. Quote only what’s essential and what you can’t say better than
authoritative sources. And make sure you use quotation marks when quoting someone or
something directly. It’s plagiarism if you don’t, but scholarship if you do.

All edits, alterations, additions, and deletions need to be evident. Use brackets or ellipses
to show changes. A bracket is used when you change the capitalization of the first letter of a
quoted word, to add a word to the quotation, or to alter a work. A three-dot ellipsis is used to
show omissions in the middle of a sentence of punctuation or of one of more words. A four-dot
ellipsis is used to omit the last part of a quoted sentence, provided that the omitted section isn’t a
citation, footnote, or endnote and that the remaining portion is an independent clause.

Use double quotation marks to open and close a quotation: “xx.” Add and close a
quotation within a quotation with a single quotation mark: “xx ‘yy’ xx.” Or: “xx ‘yy.’”

Don’t use quotation marks around block quotations – quotations of 50 words or more. A
quotation that long should be blocked: single-spaced, indented left and right, with citation on
the line after the quotation ends, and without quotation marks (unless there’s a quotation within a
quotation). Note that New York courts add the citation on the same line as the quotation and
require that quotation marks surround the quotation.

Question marks, exclamation points, and dashes should be placed within the quotation
only if they’re part of the original quotation. If they’re not, they go after the quotation mark. All
periods and commas are correctly placed in U.S. style inside the quotation marks. Colons,
semicolons, and footnote or endnote numbers are correctly placed outside the quotation mark.

Exercises: Quotations

Rewrite the following sentences:

1. While testifying, Samantha said, “Only one person could’ve committed this crime”.
A. A period always goes inside the quotation mark. Corrected version: While testifying,
Samantha said, “Only one person could’ve committed this crime.”

2. The intern asked, Is the New York Times a newspaper I should read daily?
A. In this example, the intern is aking a question. Quotation marks should be placed around
the question. Corrected version: The intern asked, “Is the New York Times a newspaper I
should read daily?”

3. Ms. Jones pointed to the defendant when the prosecution asked, who robbed you.
A. The question mark goes inside the quotation mark. Corrected version: Ms. Jones
pointed to the defendant when the prosecution asked, “who robbed you?”

17. Hyphens

Hyphenate between compound adjectives immediately before a noun. Don’t hyphenate if

the compound adjective appears after the noun. Commonly used compound adjectives don’t
need to be hyphenated. Hyphenate after “well” if it’s used in an adjectival phrase. You can still
hyphenate after “well” even if it isn’t used in an adjectival phrase but the phrase wouldn’t mean
the same thing if it’s flipped around.

Hyphenate when using the prefixes or suffixes all, ex, quasi, and self. Don’t hyphenate
“self” when it’s added to a suffix, and don’t hyphenate an adverb or adjective ending in –ly. In
addition, if you add a prefix or letters to the beginning of a word without a hyphen, you’ll
confuse your reader. There’s a major difference in meaning between “pre-judicial” and
“prejudicial.” Example: “Plaintiff moved for summary judgment.” Becomes “Before the court
is plaintiff’s summary-judgment motion.” Rephrasing the sentence makes the sentence clearer.

Hyphenate when you spell any two-word number greater than 20 but lower than 100.
Example: “The attorney has twenty three witnesses who place the defendant at the scene of the
crime.” Becomes: “The attorney has twenty-three witnesses who place the defendant at the
scene of the crime.” (This issue won’t come up if you prefer to write “23,” not ‘twenty-three.”)

Exercises: Hyphens

Rewrite the following sentences:

1. She’s a small claims attorney.

A. Without a hyphen, this sentence could mean that she’s a small attorney who handles
claims. Corrected version: She’s a small-claims attorney.

2. Jake Jerome has 33 counts of felony assault on his Criminal-Court record.

A. Hyphenate numbers from 21 to 99. Hyphenate “Criminal Court” only when it’s written
in lower case. Corrected version: Jake Jerome has thirty-three counts of felony assault
on his Criminal Court record.

3. John Miller is a well known civil rights activist.

A. “Well” is used in an adjectival phrase. Hyphenate. Corrected version: John Miller is a
well-known civil rights activist.

18. Commas

A comma separates introductory elements from the main part of the sentence. The
introductory element can be a word, phrase, or clause about then, where, how, or why the action
in the sentence occurs. Without a comma after an introductory clause, the sentence might
confuse the reader. If there’s no possibility that the reader will misread the sentence, an
introductory comma can be omitted after a short adverb clause or phrase.

A comma must precede a coordinating conjunction connecting two or more independent

clauses. The seven coordinating junctions are and, but, for, nor, or. so and yet. If independent
clauses are present, use commas. If the clauses are short, don’t use a comma. Using a comma
between two independent clauses, rather than a coordinating conjunction (known as a comma
splice), results in a run-on sentence.

Use a comma when there’s a non-restrictive element. A nonrestrictive element is a word

group that doesn’t limit or restrict the meaning of the noun or pronoun it modifies. Because
nonrestrictive elements are nonessential to the meaning of the sentence, the commas will denote
that to the readers. If the element is restrictive, then its’s essential to the meaning of the
sentence, and there shouldn’t be a comma.

Legal writers best place transitional or interrupting words in the middle of a main clause
using commas. Examples of transition words are the conjunctive adverbs however and
therefore.

Exercises: Commas

Rewrite the following sentences:

1. Law school, however is exceptionally expensive.

A. Set off interrupting words with commas. Corrected version: Law school, however, is
exceptionally expensive.

2. The prosecutor repeated her question but the witness still didn’t understand.
A. Place a comma before a coordinating conjunction in a compound sentence. Corrected
version: The prosecutor repeated her question, but the witness still didn”t understand.

3. Unaware that opposing counsel could hear her the attorney made an offensive comment.
A. When rreading this sentence, you need to pause before “the attorney made an offensive
comment.” Insert a comma. Corrected version: Unaware that opposing counsel could
hear her, the attorney made an offensive comment.

19. Periods, Exclamation Points, and Question Marks

Periods are placed at the ends of declarative sentences, mild commands, and indirect
questions. If a sentence ends with an abbreviation, use only one period. Abbreviated titles
should always have a period.

Use exclamation points only when trying to convey strong emotions or surprise. When
used properly, exclamation points represent meanings and tones that can’t be expressed with a
period.

Legal writing doesn’t contain many question marks. Unless you want to use them as a
rhetorical device, use a question marks only at the end of a direct question. When making a
polite request or a command, don’t use a question mark. If a sentence begins with “whether,”
don’t use a question mark. When you have a series of questions, even if they aren’t separate
sentences, they should contain question marks. Whether the first letter of a sentence is
capitalized depends on the preceding punctuation. Rhetorical questions should end with a
question mark.

Exercises: Periods, Question Marks and Exclamation Points

Rewrite the following sentences:

1. I’m wondering who’ll win the trial?

A. The sentence isn't a direct question. It shouldn't end with a question mark. Corrected
version: I'm wondering who'll win the trial.
2. Please submit that brief by Friday?
A. This command should end with a period. Corrected version: Please submit that brief by
Friday.

3. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, if all the evidence points toward his guilt, will you
convict him.
A. The sentence is a question and requires a question mark. Corrected version: Ladies and
gentlemen of the jury, if all the evidence points toward his guilt, will you convict him?