Student: _______________________ Teacher: Haase Essay: Diagnostic Linked Passage Essay

5XEULF Available INTRODUCTION PARAGRAPH

3 Began with a general statement. R
5 Included the title, author, and genre (TAG) for both textsR
3 Introduced mini-theses for the body paragraphs R
5 Included a main thesis R
4 Addressed the essay question in some way P
_____ / 20 Section Score

5XEULF Available BODY PARAGRAPH #1

3 Began with a mini-thesisR
 6 Cited at least three accurate supporting detailsR
6 Details are supported by examples from the text R
6 Clearly explained how the quotes used support the point being made R
6 Explained how details support the mini-thesis R
Included a transition to the next paragraph or connection to the theses at the
3 end of the paragraph
_____ / 30 Section Score

5XEULF Available BODY PARAGRAPH #2

3 Began with a mini-thesis R
6 Cited at least three accurate supporting details R
6 Details are supported by examples from the text R
6 Clearly explained how the quotes used support the point being made R
6 Explained how details support the mini-thesis R
Included a transition to the next paragraph or connection to the theses at the
3 end of the paragraph
_____ / 30 Section Score

5XEULF Available DRAWING OUT A CONCLUSION PARAGRAPH

2 Did not introduce new details R
2 Restated the thesisR
6 Drew a conclusion from his or her work P
_____ / 10 Section Score

5XEULF Available CONVEYING MEANING AND UNDERSTANDING

6 The essay had a clear point it sought to prove P
6 The essay’s purpose was aligned to the task P
6 The essay demonstrated great insight from the writerPO
6 The essay’s argument was clear and effective PO
6 The essay did not include irrelevant details
_____ / 30 Section Score
5XEULF Available WRITING MECHANICS & STYLE
Did not refer to self or speak directly to the reader in the essay (does not
5 write in the first or second person point of view)
5 Sentences begin in a variety of ways (not just with the subject)
Sentence structure is varied and includes a combination of simple, complex,

Style O
5 compound, and compound-complex sentences
4 Did not use questions in writing
Did not include “baby words” (get, getting, got, go, going, gone, put,
4 putting, puts, said, stuff, things,
2 Essay was written in the present tense

Quotes
5 Quotes were integrated effectively into student’s own writing O

5 Quotes were cited appropriately

5 There were no run-ons or sentence fragments

Punctuation
Commas were used accurately in conjunction with FANBOYS,
5 AWHITEBUSes and non-restrictive phrases
Appropriately used apostrophes to show possession and avoided them to
4 indicate number
4 Commas are used after introductory and around non-restrictive phrases
4 Did not include any homophone errors
4 Spelled out all words and numbers necessary
4 Did not use contractions in writing (didn’t, can’t, weren’t)

Usage
4 Verb tenses were in agreement
4 There were no subject-verb agreement errors
3 There were no pronoun-antecedent agreement errors
4 Appropriate use of capital letters was demonstrated
_____ / 80 Section Score

___________ = TOTAL SCORE (out of 200)

See appendix J for instructions on how to convert your raw score to a traditional grade
according to a holistic ELA rubric.
1. INTRODUCTION PARAGRAPH

1.1 Began with a general statement.

A general statement, or claim, if you are using the Argumentation model, is a thematic, widely accepted
statement on your topic.

For example, if you are writing about baseball, a general statement may be

Good pitching is essential for winning the pennant.

If you are writing about Harry Potter, you may start an essay with the famous saying,

Necessity is the mother of invention.

Notice that no specific references to the players, teams, characters, etc are made in these sentences.
When you think about it, the same general statements can be used to start off a number of different
essays, whether they’re about the Yankees, the Mets, Harry Potter or The Clique.

By high school, teachers will probably dissuade you from using what they call clichés like the last one,
but for now, poignant statements like that may help you get a handle on your writing topic.

Your essay should start with one of these statements, which should be easily connected to your topic and
your main thesis or controlling idea. For example, if you’re writing about how Harry becomes a more
powerful wizard in the Potter series because he needs to in order to survive, your topic may be
something about change, dynamic characters, or overcoming adversity. Your general statement can be
Necessity is the mother of invention.

Your main thesis/controlling idea could then be

Because he needs them in order to survive, Harry develops the skills of a great wizard
throughout his years at Hogwarts.

Note that the thesis statement above (1) is opinionated, (2) is connected to the general statement, and (3)
falls under the identified topic. An even more opinionated version may be,

If Voldemort were not constantly trying to destroy Harry, he would probably never have
turned into the great wizard his “destiny” foretold.

Remember, the more opinionated you are, the more interesting your essay will probably be. Don’t worry
too much about being “wrong” at this stage of the game.

1.2 Included the title, author, and genre (TAG).

The second sentence in your introduction paragraph doesn’t say anything incredible, but it serves an
important purpose. In a literary essay, you absolutely must identify the genre, author and work of
literature about which you are writing. Keep your “transition sentence” here as simple as possible
because most of it (the title, author and genre) is already written for you. The sentence should be a short
bridge from your general statement towards the more specific points you will identify in your theses.
If your general statement, for example, is

Necessity is the mother of invention.

you can add the title, author and genre to the statement by writing

In the novel, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, it’s necessity that forces Harry to discover
skills he never knew he had as a wizard.

1.3 Introduced mini-theses for body paragraphs.

Your introduction paragraph has an important job in your essay. Without saying, “In this essay I will,” it
has to tell the reader not only what you seek to prove in your paper, but how you intend to prove it. If,
for example, you are writing an essay to prove that

Because they have a superior offense and defense, the Yankees will win the pennant this
year.

your introduction paragraph should establish that the body of your essay will spend at least one
paragraph to prove each, that the team’s offense is superior, and its defense is as well. Your mini-
theses/topic sentences tell readers of your essay what you will prove in each paragraph using evidence.
You may, for example write one paragraph to prove that

The Yankees have the best closers in baseball.

Notice that this paragraph thesis supports the purpose for the essay, but is still broad enough that it,
itself, can be supported with several examples and details. Your second paragraph may aim to prove that

The Yankees’ on-base percentage makes it impossible for their competitors to match their
scoring power.

Remember, if they’re theses, they need to be opinionated statements, so avoid the temptation of saying
that a paragraph will be “about” their pitching or hitting, which sets you up for a summary. As with your
main thesis, the more opinionated you can be, the better.

1.4 Included a main thesis.

An essay without a thesis statement is like a car without wheels: it may look pretty in the driveway, but
it won’t get you anywhere. Remember that all literary essays have theses they seek to prove. Without a
thesis, you are probably writing a book summary. Even with a thesis it can often be difficult to avoid the
temptation of telling your reader “what happens” in the story.

Coming up with a thesis is a struggle for young writers, but remember you can use the following three
methods to get started;

(1) The Essential Question: Begin your brainstorming by simply answering the question that
defines your essay assignment. If, for example, you are asked the question, “How does
conflict shape one’s identity?” you can start by answering the question as a simple,
general statement:
 The problems characters face in literature force them to learn new things
about themselves.

The next step would be to simply apply your general statement to your assigned work of
literature by making it more specific:

The challenges Harry faces each year he returns to Hogwart’s unlock his
potential as a wizard by forcing him to develop the courage and wisdom of
his predecessors.

(2) The Elements Connection: Start by brainstorming what you know about the elements of
the story you have read. Think about the conflicts, characters, settings, plot elements and
themes or motifs. Then look for any relationships that may exist between or among them.
If, for example, you were writing about Sandra Cisneros’ The House on Mango Street,
you may identify the theme of the oppression of women. Knowing that the novel takes
place in an urban, high-minority area during the 1950s, you may write an essay to prove
that

The women on Mango Street are victims of their time, place and people.

(3) The Argumentation Model: Use the pre-AP strategy of argumentation to develop a thesis
by first, identifying an important topic (or motif) in your text. If you were writing about
The Lord of the Rings, for example, you may identify friendship as an important topic.
The second step is to create a general statement or claim about the topic (cf. I.1), like

A friend is someone who stands beside you through the hardest of times.

Finally, you would apply your general statement to your assigned work of literature by
making it more specific, as you would using the Essential Question method:

If Frodo did not have the support of the Fellowship, the battle for Middle-
Earth would surely be lost.

*Visit the Appendix A for more thesis statement dos and don’ts .

1.5 Addressed the essay question.

Of course, you must make sure that your writing is on task. Read any directions for the essay provided
very carefully and be sure to address every aspect, paying particularly close attention to anything
bulleted. Before you begin writing, you may want to identify the operative words in the directions,
which often identify themes, literary techniques, or strategies assigned to your writing.
2. BODY PARAGRAPHS

2.1 Began with a mini-thesis | The “Invisible Thread” Method

While it may sound repetitive, you should restate the paragraph theses/topic sentences you identified in
your introduction paragraph at the top of their respective body paragraphs. Again, without saying, “In
this essay I will…” appropriately placed topic sentences tell the reader not only what to expect, but
when to expect it. They establish a purpose for each body paragraph before you begin writing, and if you
hold true to that purpose, your essay will be cohesive and, with any luck, avoid slipping into mere
summary.

TIP! After you write your topic sentence at the top of your body paragraph, take note of the operative
words in your writing. For example, does your sentence address “David’s hardships…” in A Child
Called It? If so, be sure to sprinkle those words throughout your body paragraph. The effect created is
like an invisible thread that holds your paragraph together. If your topic sentence focuses on hardships,
and the word, hardships (or its synonyms), appears throughout your paragraph, you stand a good chance
of actually maintaining focus.

2.2 Cited at least three accurate supporting details.

Remember that a literary essay seeks to prove a point you are making about a piece of literature.
Without making some specific references to the literature, itself, you stand little chance of doing that
effectively. Every one of these details should be developed sufficiently and connected back to your
purpose for writing.

2.3 Details are supported by examples from the text.

In a literary essay, it is never enough to drop hints about what you want to say and forget to actually say
it. Compare, for example the details below for a sample essay on The House on Mango Street.

Although there are many women Esperanza should avoid on Mango Street, there are still
those like Aunt Lupe who support her.

Although there are many women Esperanza should avoid on Mango Street, there are still
those like Aunt Lupe who remind her that she “must keep writing” because it will “set
[her] free.”

Of course, every quote or specific reference to the text you make must be cited according to the method
outlined in §5.2.2.

2.4 Clearly explained how the quotes support the point being made.

Continuing with the example from §2.4, it is important to do more with quotes than merely drop them
into your essay. Each one should be used very carefully and with a specific purpose in mind, like
different colors on a painter’s palette. If you write,

Although there are many women Esperanza should avoid on Mango Street, there are still
those like Aunt Lupe who remind her that she “must keep writing” because it will “set
[her] free,”
you should continue to explain the quotes you’ve selected and how they support your point:

Aunt Lupe’s advice to Esperanza, though perhaps offered to her when she was too young,
establishes the importance of education, especially on Mango Street where many women
look only to the men in their lives as a means to make things better. Lupe realizes
Esperanza’s potential, and she urges her to continue to learn and express herself…

Of course, it’s much easier to skip this step, which is why most students do, especially on a timed essay,
but without a thorough explanation, a good quote from the text may as well be replaced with a grocery
list.

2.5 Explained how details support the mini-thesis.

Remember to frequently tie the details in your writing back to your purpose. Using variations of the
word because frequently throughout your body paragraphs is a good way to ensure that you are actually
putting your details to good use, like in this sentence that explains the quote above:

Because she realizes Esperanza’s potential at an early age and uses what little strength
she has to encourage her, Aunt Lupe clearly is a woman Esperanza could learn
something positive from.

If the mini-thesis/topic sentence for the paragraph were something like

Despite the many negative influences who lived in Esperanza’s neighborhood, there were
still many women she could look up to.

2.6 Included a transition to the next paragraph or connection to the theses at the end of the
paragraph.

After working so hard to make a strong argument in your essay, don’t just skydive out of your first body
paragraph. Take a second to revisit a thesis, like outlined in §2.5, or make a gradual transition into your
next idea.

Continuing with The House on Mango Street, you can easily transition from a paragraph about positive
influences in the neighborhood to one on negative influences:

Despite the positive examples set by…, Esperanza was still surrounded by people she
should not and could not have followed.
3. DRAWING OUT A CONCLUSION

3.1 Did not introduce new details.

Any details you intend to use to prove your argument should appear in your body paragraphs. The
conclusion paragraph is where you pull together your argument in a clear and cohesive closing
statement. Any new information from the text introduced here would actually hurt the clarity of your
argument even if you think its presence may help at the last minute.

3.2 Restated the thesis

During your closing statement, you should restate, preferably in new wording, your original idea. After
having used the writing process to further explore the literature, and more specifically, your original
insights into it, you should see things from a slightly different perspective.

3.3 Drew a conclusion from his or her work.

The conclusion paragraph really asks you to share what you have learned from your writing experience.
It helps to read through your entire essay and ask yourself that question before writing the conclusion
paragraph.
4. C ONVEYING M EANING AND U NDERSTANDING

4.1 The essay had a clear point it sought to prove.

There’s a difference between being able to list what happens in a story and really understanding it.
While anyone can watch a series of events unfold, not everyone is equally equipped to make meaning of
them. It’s your ability to make an original insight into what you read that conveys your understanding of
a text. We already know that it’s not an essay without a point.

In addition to having a point you seek to prove in your essay, it’s almost equally important that your
point be a clear and easily communicated one. For now, avoid unnecessarily complicated wording and
the desire to write about anything you don’t fully understand. If you worry that your point is too
complicated, show it to a friend. If s/he asks you to explain what you mean and you can’t do so clearly
enough for him/her to understand, fix it or toss it. For most thesis statements, short and sweet is best.

*Visit the Appendix A for more thesis statement dos and don’ts .

4.2 The essay’s purpose was aligned to the task. (Cf. §1.5)

4.3 The essay demonstrated great insight from the writer.

For most standardized assessments, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is reserved for students
who show graders something others can not. If you have a powerful command of the English language
you can reach that prize. The other path to it means showing your audience your creativity and ability to
mobilize ideas.

4.4 The essay’s argument was clear and effective.

The clarity – or better, poignancy – of your thesis statement is key. You’ll want one that is
thoughtful and unique in its insight, but you’ll need to avoid the pitfall of writing something
that’s so overambitious that it doesn’t make sense. When something is poignant, it demonstrates
great meaning insight in as few words as possible.

The effectiveness of your argument is absolutely necessary. It won’t be enough to have an

original idea if you can’t do anything to prove it. It’s in the proof that your mastery of the text,
the English language, and critical thinking really come out.

4.5 The essay did not include irrelevant details.

Simply put, if the details you’re including in your essay don’t support your arguments, don’t use
them.
WRITING MECHANICS AND STYLE

5.1 STYLE

5.1.1 Did not refer to self or speak directly to the reader in the essay (does not write in the first
or second person point of view).

Unless you are writing a personal essay, there is no reason to refer to yourself in your essay
(especially if you are considering saying something like “In this essay I…” or “In my
opinion…”). Just talk about the text, as clearly and assertively as possible. Avoid any references
to your opinion, which would make your writing weak and “fuzzy.” Instead, act as if you are the
foremost authority on your subject and there is absolutely no chance that you could be wrong.
Write as if you are a dictionary.

5.1.2 Sentences begin in a variety of ways (not just with the subject).

Sentence variety makes your essay more enjoyable and easier to read. If you start every sentence
with the subject, your writing will sound like a shopping list or children’s book. Instead of…

Mr. Brown wondered if it was going to rain. He looked up at the sky.

try…

Looking up at the sky, Mr. Brown wondered if it was going to rain.

5.1.3 Sentence structure is varied and includes a combination of simple, complex, compound, and
compound-complex sentences.

Again, sentence variety makes writing more interesting and, believe it or not, effective and
mature. Try the methods listed above to combine sentences and vary their basic order and
structure, but make sure you know where the commas belong! Other sentence variety options
you’ll learn this year include parallel, inverted, balanced and loose. A well-written essay already
uses most of them.

5.1.4 Did not use questions in writing.

If the audience reading your essay cannot answer them, why would you ask questions? Questions
should especially be avoided in your introduction where young writers still use them as a hook to
start their essays.

5.1.5 Did not include “baby words.”

Most non-specific words students use in their writing are there as variables, meant to take the
place of the more appropriate, yet more difficult to recall (or unknown) variation.

See Appendix B for to find words more suitable to your writing needs.

5.1.6 Essay was written in the present tense.

What should be clear and simple points are often made muddy and wordy when they’re
unnecessarily moved into the past tense. Past tenses of verbs often require all the hads, woulds,
etc. that make your sentences awkward and longer than necessary. Though filling the page seems
to be an informal measure of a successfully completed essay to some students, it’s less of a feat
when half of the words there don’t actually do anything. Instead of sentences like

When Harry would return to school, he would always wish he had an easier year
than ones passed.

try

When Harry returns to school, he wishes for an easier year than ones passed.

5.2 QUOTES

5.2.1 Quotes were integrated effectively into student’s own writing.

It’s a giant step in the right direction when students start using quotes in their writing. It’s a great
leap when you can actually integrate them into your writing so that reading them is not like
running into a brick wall.

See Appendix C for strategies on how to integrate quotes into your writing more effectively.

5.2.2 Quotes were cited appropriately.

Again, it’s a giant step in the right direction if you are using quotes in your writing. If, however,
you use someone else’s words in your writing without giving him or her credit for them, that’s
called plagiarism. After each quote, you need to include a citation in one of the two formats
below:

… Esperanza is “a red balloon, a balloon tied to an anchor” (Cisneros 24).

… Cisneros describes Esperanza as “a red balloon, a balloon tied to an anchor” (24).

In each of the examples above, notice that the internal citation goes outside the quotes and the
period ending the sentence goes after that. In the first example, you have to include the author’s
name because it is not already included in the sentence. In the second example, you only need to
include the page number because you’ve already identified the author.

5.3 PUNCTUATION

5.3.1 There were no run-ons or sentence fragments.

A run-on sentence occurs when two or more sentences are incorrectly written as a single
sentence. For example:

Glaciers are large masses of moving snow and ice they created may of the lakes in the
United States.

Notice there is no punctuation between the two sentences when there should be.
 Glaciers are large masses of moving snow and ice, they created many of the lakes in the
United States.

This example has a punctuation mark, but only a comma, which creates a comma splice run-on
(think of the comma as a terrible scar down the middle of your sentence’s face).

The correct way to write the sentence would be

Glaciers are large masses of moving snow and ice. They created many of the lakes in the
United States.

Use one of these four strategies to correct run-on sentences.

1. Create two separate sentences by adding end punctuation and a capital letter.
2. Use a coordinating conjunction (FANBOYS) preceded by a comma to join the
sentences.
3. Use a semicolon to join two closely related sentences.
4. Change one sentence into a subordinate clause or phrase, adding or changing words and
punctuation as needed.

See Appendix D for more on FANBOYS or Appendix E for more information on subordinate
clauses.

5.3.2 Commas were used accurately in conjunction with FANBOYS, AWHITEBUSes and non-
restrictive phrases.

A compound sentence combines two or more independent clauses with a comma and a
FANBOYS. For example:

The Amazon River is the longest river in South America.

The Nile is the world’s longest river.

The two sentences above are independent clauses because they have both subjects and
actions/predicates. You can combine the two using a comma and a FANBOYS as follows:

The Amazon River is the longest river in South America, but The Nile is the world’s
longest river.

A complex sentence combines one independent clause with one dependent clause and a
subordinating conjunction (AWHITEBUS). Remember, an independent clause can stand on its
own as a complete sentence because it has both its subject and its action. A dependent clause,
however, can not stand on its own as a complete sentence because it is missing one or both of
those things. For example:

While at the movies

is a dependent clause because no subject is actually doing anything.

I bought popcorn.

is an independent clause because it has both a subject, I, and an action, bought.

There are two ways to combine them.

(1) dependent clause + comma + independent clause.

While at the movies, I bought popcorn.

(2) independent clause + dependent clause

I bought popcorn while at the movies.

Notice that when your sentence begins with an AWHITEBUS, you need to place a comma
between the two clauses. When the AWHITEBUS is in the middle of the sentence, however, you
absolutely should not.

A nonrestrictive phrase is a phrase that is not necessary to the basic meaning of the sentence,
and it should always be surrounded by commas. For example, in the sentence

Mr. Haase, who has no pets at home, is considering buying one.

The phrase has no pets at home is not necessary in completing the sentence. Mr. Haase is
considering buying a pet, would be complete without the extra descriptor. Think of it this way, if
the phrase you’re using adds a description like you could picture in parentheses, make sure you
set it off by commas.

5.3.3 Appropriately used apostrophes to show possession and avoided them to indicate number.

Except for special words and contractions, adding a ‘s to the end of a noun or pronoun shows
possession. The simplest way to think of adding apostrophes to plural words is that the
possession is added to everything in front of an apostrophe. For example

mom’s means belongs to mom, but

moms’ means belongs to more than mom.

Remember to be careful with special words like its, which does not use an apostrophe to show
possession. It’s is actually a contraction of it is.

5.3.4 Commas are used after introductory and around non-restrictive phrases.

Use a comma to separate an adverb clause or a long phrase from the independent clause that
follows it. For example,

According to some experts, solar-powered cars will son be common.

*cf. § 5.3.3 for more on non-restrictive phrases.

5.4 USAGE

5.4.1 Did not include any homophone errors.

Homophones are words the sound alike but are spelled differently. Watch out for these common
homophone errors:
See Appendix F for a list of commonly misused homophones.

5.4.2 Spelled out words and numbers necessary.

Remember that for formal writing, you must spell out everything, including words like and and
any numbers, cardinal (one, two, three) or ordinal numbers (first, second, third, etc.).

5.4.3 Did not use contractions in writing.

For formal writing, not only must you spell out words frequently abbreviated or written
numerically, but you should also avoid using contractions, which are informal. Instead of words
like didn’t and can’t, for example, you should write did not and can not.

5.4.4 Verb tense were in agreement.

To avoid confusing readers, keep verb tenses as consistent as possible.

Use verbs in the same tense to describe events that occur at the same time.

INCONSISTENT: Thousands of new presidential dollar coins are flawed. They

lacked one letter.

CONSISTENT: Thousands of new presidential dollar coins are flawed. They lack
one letter.

5.4.5 There were no subject-verb agreement errors.

Subjects and verbs must agree in number whether singular or plural. Irregular verbs and
indefinite pronouns can often cause errors in agreement, especially if you write quickly or don’t
proofread. Remember that most indefinite pronouns like neither, nobody, either, someone, etc.
actually require that you use a singular verb form. For example:

Either James or Mark is going to drive me to school tomorrow.

True, it sounds strange, but in the sentence above, the subject is not James and Mark; it is either
or one of them, which means you have to use the verb is (singular) as opposed to are (plural).

See Appendix G for a list of irregular verbs and Appendix H for a list of indefinite pronouns.

5.4.6 There were no pronoun-antecedent agreement errors.

Pronouns are words that take the place of one or more nouns or pronouns, like he, she, it they,
them, we, you, us, etc. The word or phrase that a pronoun replaces is called its antecedent.

A pronoun must agree with its antecedent in number, gender, and person. For example

Meg choreographed a dance, and now she is teaching it.

While the example above seems pretty easy, indefinite pronouns can complicate things a little.
Take a look at the following sentence, for example:
 Either James or Mark left his textbook in English yesterday.

It seems strange to see two names in the subject of a sentence and the pronoun his (singular), but
because the indefinite pronoun, Either, is the real subject, and it always takes a singular form, we
have to use the word his as opposed to their. After all, only one of the boys left his textbook
behind anyway.

See Appendix H for a list of indefinite pronouns.

5.4.7 Appropriate use of capital letters was demonstrated.

Please remember that capital letters are not a fashion statement. You cannot leave the first letter
of an author’s name lowercase because you like the way that letter looks in your handwriting, or
you have something against its bigger counterpart.

See Appendix I for guidelines on when to use capital letters.

 ?????
What is a thesis?
?????
What is a thesis?
A thesis statement declares what you believe and what you intend to prove. A
good thesis statement makes the difference between a thoughtful research project
and a simple retelling of facts.

A good tentative thesis will help you focus your search for information. But don't
rush! You must do a lot of background reading before you know enough about a
subject to identify key or essential questions. You may not know how you stand
on an issue until you have examined the evidence. You will likely begin your
research with a working, preliminary or tentative thesis which you will continue to
refine until you are certain of where the evidence leads.

The thesis statement is typically located at the end of your opening paragraph.
(The opening paragraph serves to set the context for the thesis.)

Remember, your reader will be looking for your thesis. Make it clear, strong, and
easy to find.

Attributes of a good thesis:

• It should be contestable, proposing an arguable point with which people could reasonably
disagree. A strong thesis is provocative; it takes a stand and justifies the discussion you
will present.
• It tackles a subject that could be adequately covered in the format of the project assigned.
• It is specific and focused. A strong thesis proves a point without discussing “everything
about …” Instead of music, think "American jazz in the 1930s" and your argument about
it.
• It clearly asserts your own conclusion based on evidence. Note: Be flexible. The
evidence may lead you to a conclusion you didn't think you'd reach. It is perfectly okay
to change your thesis!
• It provides the reader with a map to guide him/her through your work.
110
 • It anticipates and refutes the counter-arguments.
• It avoids vague language (like "it seems").
• It avoids the first person. ("I believe," "In my opinion").
• It should pass the So what? or Who cares? test (Would your most honest friend ask why
he should care or respond with "but everyone knows that"?). For instance, "people
should avoid driving under the influence of alcohol," would be unlikely to evoke any
opposition.

Simple equations for a thesis might look something like this:

Specific topic + Attitude/Angle/Argument = Thesis

What you plan to argue + How you plan to argue it = Thesis

How do you know if you've got a solid tentative thesis?

Try these five tests:

• Does the thesis inspire a reasonable reader to ask, "How?" or Why?"
• Would a reasonable reader NOT respond with "Duh!" or "So what?" or "Gee, no
kidding!" or "Who cares?"
• Does the thesis avoid general phrasing and/or sweeping words such as "all" or "none" or
"every"?
• Does the thesis lead the reader toward the topic sentences (the subtopics needed to prove
the thesis)?
• Can the thesis be adequately developed in the required length of the paper or project?
Loose  Sentences:  A  loose  sentence  is  a  type  of  sentence  in  which  the  main  idea  (independent  clause)  comes  first,  
followed  by  dependent  grammatical  units  such  as  phrases  and  clauses.  

• He  went  into  town  to  buy  groceries,  to  visit  his  friends,  and  to  go  to  the  bookstore.  

Balanced  Sentences:  A  balanced  sentence  is  a  sentence  that  uses  parallel  structure  of  roughly  the  same  length  and  
importance.  

"It  was  the  best  of  times,  it  was  the  worst  of  times..."  (A  Tale  of  Two  Cities)    

"White  chickens  lay  white  eggs,  and  brown  chickens  lay  brown  eggs;  so  if  white  cows  give  white  milk,  do  brown  
cows  give  chocolate  milk?"  

Parallel  Sentences:  Sentences  with  a  a  balance  of  two  or  more  similar  words,  phrases,  or  clauses.  

• Without  parallelism:  She  likes  cooking,  jogging,  and  to  read.  

• With  parallelism:  She  likes  cooking,  jogging,  and  reading.  
 
• Lacking  parallelism:  Affy  ran  across  the  yard,  jumped  over  the  fence,  and  down  the  alley  he  sprinted.  
• Parallel:  Affy  ran  across  the  yard,  jumped  over  the  fence,  and  sprinted  down  the  alley.  
 

Inverted  Sentences:  An  inverted  sentence  is  one  in  which  the  subject  appears  after  the  verb.  This  gives  the  subject  more  
emphasis.  
• In  the  garden  stand  the  statues.  
• On  the  desk  are  red  pens.  
Name:  ______________________   Date:  ____________________  
Teacher:  Mr.  Haase  per.  _____   Section:  Projects  and  Assessments  
 

1. What  style  of  sentences  can  you  find?  List  the  number  of  loose,  balanced,  and  parallel  *  sentences.  If  
you  have  no  sentences  of  one  of  these  types  in  your  paper,  rewrite  some  sentences  in  that  style.    

a. Loose  sentences:  _____  

b. One  I  added:    

c. Balanced  sentences:  _____  

d. One  I  added:  

e. Parallel  sentences:  _____  

f. One  I  added:  

2. How  long  are  your  sentences?  Count  words  in  the  paper,  count  sentences,  and  divide  to  arrive  at  an  
average  length.  Number  of  words  _____  /  Number  of  sentences  _____  =  _____  words/sentence.  

3. Find  your  longest  sentence.  It  has  _____  words.  The  sentence  before  it  has  _____  words.  The  sentence  
after  it  has  _____  words.  If  that  long  sentence  is  not  either  preceded  or  followed  by  a  short  sentence,  
change  one  of  them  to  a  short  sentence.    

a. This  question  applies  to  me.  (Yes  /  No)  

b. I  changed  this  sentence:    

c. to  this  one:  

4. What  forms  are  your  sentences?  Count  and  identify  them  below.  If  you  do  not  have  variety,  rewrite  
some  sentences  to  include  these  sentence  types.  

a. Simple  sentences:  _____  

b. One  I  added:  

c. Compound  sentences:  _____  

d. One  I  added:  _____  

  

e. Complex  sentences:    

f. One  I  added:  

5. Count  the  number  of  to  be  verbs  (is,  am,  are,  was,  were,  be,  being,  been).  Find  three  that  can  better  
be  expressed  as  action  verbs  and  rewrite  the  sentences  that  way.    

a. #  of  “to  be”  verbs:  _____  

b. I  changed  this  sentence:  

c. to  this  one:  

6. Have  you  inverted  any  sentences?  If  not,  rewrite  one  to  do  so.  The  inverted  sentence  I  (had  /  created)  
is:  

7. Count  how  many  times  you  use  of:  _____,  in:  _____,  to:  _____,  and  by:  _____.  Aim  to  use  each  word  
one  fewer  time.  

a. I  changed  this  sentence:  

b. to  this  one:  

8. Find  and  color-­‐code  all  of  your  pronouns.  Match  each  with  its  antecedent  by  color-­‐coding  that  word  
as  well.    

 
Name:  ______________________   Date:  ____________________  
Teacher:  Mr.  Haase  per.  _____   Section:  Student  Toolbox  
 

Sentence  Variety  Ideas  

1.  –ing  word  group  (participle  phrase)  at  
the  beginning  of  the  sentence:  Sitting  on  
the  porch,  the  quiet,  close-­‐knit  family  watched  
the  sun  go  down.    

2.  –ing  word  group  in  the  middle  of  the  sentence:  The  quiet,  close-­‐knit  family,  
sitting  on  the  porch,  watched  the  sun  go  down.    

3.  –ing  word  group  at  the  end  of  the  sentence:  The  quiet,  close-­‐knit  family  sat  on  
the  porch,  watching  the  sun  go  down.    

4.  Adverb  clause  at  the  beginning  of  sentence:  As  the  quiet,  close-­‐knit  family  sat  
on  the  porch,  they  watched  the  sun  go  down.    

5.  Adverb  clause  at  the  end  of  sentence:  The  quiet,  close-­‐knit  family  sat  on  the  
porch  in  order  to  watch  the  sun  go  down.    

6.  Adjective  immediately  following  noun:  The  family,  quiet  and  close  knit,  sat  on  
the  porch,  watching  the  sun  go  down.    

7.  Appositive  (actual  word  that  will  serve  as  the  appositive  will  have  to  be  
added):  The  quiet,  close-­‐knit  family,  the  Smiths,  sat  on  the  porch,  watching  the  sun  go  
down.    

8.  Noun  followed  by  –ing  word  group  (noun  absolute):  The  sun  having  already  
gone  down,  the  quiet,  close-­‐knit  family  sat  on  the  porch.  
 Baby Words….
Words which are okay to use in notes, informal discussions, informal
writing, and rough drafts but NOT IN FORMAL WRITING OR A
FINAL DRAFT. Make sure the words below are OUT of any final
piece of writing. Your score will be lowered SIGNIFICANTLY if
found in the assessed paper.

• Get
• Getting
• Got
• Go
• Going
• Gone
• Kids
• Put
• Putting
• Puts
• Said
• Stuff
• Things
• Etc…
 Integrating Quotations into Sentences
It’s all about the punctuation!
You should never have a quotation standing alone as a complete
sentence, or, worse yet, as an incomplete sentence, in your writing.

The Introductory Phrase…

Introductory phrases with the proper punctuation are the most
common signals to a reader that you are presenting another author's
ideas. Without an introductory phrase, a quotation is an incomplete
sentence.

Definition: When a piece of work is credited to someone, we

say that the work is an attribution to that person.

There are at least four ways to

integrate quotations.
1. Introduce the quotation with a complete sentence and a colon.
This is an easy rule to remember: if you use a complete sentence to
introduce a quotation, you need a colon after the sentence.

œ Albert Einstein reminds us all to never waste our life being

selfish: “Only a life lived for others is worth living."

2. Use an introductory or explanatory phrase, but not a complete sentence, separated from the quotation with a
comma. You should use a comma to separate your own words from the quotation when your introductory or
explanatory phrase ends with a verb such as "says," "said," "thinks," "believes," "pondered," "recalls," "questions," and
"asks" (and many more). You should also use a comma when you introduce a quotation with an attribution phrase such
as "According to Mr. Ditch."

œ Homer Simpson shouted, "I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!"

3. Make the quotation a part of your own sentence without any punctuation between your own words and the words
you are quoting. Notice that the word "that" is used in examples. When it is used as it is in the example, "that" replaces
the comma which would be necessary without "that" in the sentence. You usually have a choice, then, when you begin a
sentence with a phrase such as "Thoreau says." You either can add a comma after "says," or you can add the word "that"
with no comma.

œ Jerry Seinfield once said that there are “Four Levels of Comedy: make your friends laugh, make strangers
laugh, get paid to make strangers laugh, and make people talk like you because it's so much fun."

4. Use short quotations--only a few words--as part of your own sentence. When you integrate quotations in this way,
you do not use any special punctuation. Instead, you should punctuate the sentence just as you would if all of the words
were your own.

œ An Irish saying reminds us that friends that “gossip with you” may also be friends that gossip about you.
Name:  ______________________   Date:  ____________________  
Teacher:  Mr.  Haase  per.  _____   Section:  Student  Toolbox  
 

PRACTICE  INTEGRATING  QUOTES  

Directions:  Complete  the  left  or  right  side  of  the  table  below.  Your  partner  will  complete  the  opposite  side.  For  
each  passage,  use  the  assigned  method  to  integrate  the  quote  into  a  sentence.  When  you  and  your  partner  are  
done,  you  will  swap  papers  to  check  each  other’s  work.  The  methods  to  use  are  indicated  in  bold  numbers.  You  
may  use  pieces  of  the  quote  in  your  sentence  as  necessary.    

For  example:     (4)  Before  you  begin  on  a  journey  of  revenge,  dig  two  graves.  
      -­‐-­‐Confucius    
  Sentence:   Revenge is something that never pays off. In tragic plays, most characters who seek
revenge should always begin by “digging two graves.”

(1)You  must  be  the  change  you  wish  to  see  in  the   (1)Nothing  can  bring  you  peace  but  yourself.  
world.   -­‐-­‐Ralph  Waldo  Emerson  
-­‐-­‐Mahatma  Ghandi  
   
   
   
   

(2)That  which  does  not  kill  you  makes  you  stronger.   (2)  Happiness  does  not  depend  on  outward  things,  but  
-­‐-­‐Neitzsche   on  the  way  we  see  them.  
-­‐-­‐Leo  Tolstoy  
 
   
   
   
 

(3)  Anyone  who  has  never  made  a  mistake  has  never   (3)  A  right  delayed  is  a  right  denied.  
tried  anything  new.   -­‐-­‐Martin  Luther  King,  Jr.  
-­‐-­‐Albert  Einstein  
 
   
   
   
 

(4)  There's  not  an  American  in  this  country  free  until   (4)  Tis  better  to  have  loved  and  lost  than  never  to  have  
every  one  of  us  is  free.     loved  at  all.  
-­‐-­‐Jackie  Robinson   -­‐-­‐Alfred,  Lord  Tennyson  

   
   
   
   
Coordinating  Conjunctions  
F   for  
A   and  
N   nor  
B   but  
O   or  
Y   yet  
S   so  
 
Subordinating  Conjunctions  
A   after   although   as      
W   where   wherever   when   whenever   while  
H   how          
I   if          
T   than          
E   even  though   even  if        
B   because   before        
U   unless   until        
S   since   so  that        
 
 
Subordinate  Clauses  

A  subordinate  clause  does  not  express  a  complete  thought  and  cannot  stand  alone  
as  a  sentence.  

  because  they  live  in  Greenland,  Canada,  and  Alaska  

  after  they  arrived  in  North  America  
 Homophone Reference List

to too two flower flour

meet meat cereal serial

eight ate hour our

threw through lesson lessen

ceiling sealing die dye

piece peace blew blue

side sighed mail male

herd heard minor miner

hire higher dear deer

weather whether feet feat

pair pear pause paws

bare bear wait weight

cent sent whole hole

there they’re their tale tail

be bee sees seas

break brake steel steal

due dew do some sum

hall haul pale pail

know no seen scene

made maid waste waist

nose knows sale sail

flew flu road rode

Copyright 2004 IRA/NCTE. All rights reserved.

ReadWriteThink materials may be reproduced for educational purposes.
IRREGULAR  VERBS:  do  not  form  the  past  and  past  participle  by  adding  –d  or  –ed.  In  
some  cases,  the  past  and  the  past  participle  forms  of  an  irregular  very  are  spelled  
the  same.  Often,  however,  the  past  and  past  participle  are  not  the  same.  See  the  
examples  below.  
 
Present   Present  Participle   Past   Past  Participle  
(Use  with  am,  is,  are,  was  were)   (Use  with  has,  have,  had)  
teach   (is)  teaching   taught   (had)  taught  
go   (is)  going   went   (had)  gone  
choose   (is)  choosing   chose   (had)  chosen  
 
 
 

SOME  MORE  IRREGULAR  VERBS…  

Present   Present  Participle   Past   Part  Participle  
(Use  with  am,  is,  are,  was  were)   (Use  with  has,  have,  had)  
become   (is)   becoming   became   (had)   become  
break   (is)   breaking   broke   (had)   broken  
bring   (is)   bringing   brought   (had)   brought  
come   (is)   coming   came   (had)   come  
drive   (is)   driving   drove   (had)   driven  
eat   (is)   eating   ate   (had)   eaten  
fall   (is)   falling   fell   (had)   fallen  
give   (is)   giving   gave   (had)   given  
grow   (is)   growing   grew   (had)   grown  
lay   (is)   laying   laid   (had)   laid  
make   (is)   making   made   (had)   made  
put   (is)   putting   put   (had)   put  
ride   (is)   riding   rode   (had)   ridden  
run   (is)   running   ran   (had)   run  
see   (is)   seeing   saw   (had)   seen  
show   (is)   showing   showed   (had)   shown  
sing   (is)   singing   sang   (had)   sung  
speak   (is)   speaking   spoke   (had)   spoken  
take   (is)   taking   took   (had)   taken  
think   (is)   thinking   thought   (had)   thought  
throw   (is)   throwing   threw   (had)   thrown  
wear   (is)   wearing   wore   (had)   worn  
win   (is)   winning   won   (had)   won  
 
INDEFINITE PRONOUNS
do not refer to a specific person, place or thing. Some always require singular partners;
some always require plural.

 Either Jason or Lance left his history textbook on the round table in the corner.
 George Washington and James Madison signed the constitution, and they became
presidents.

SINGULAR INDEFINITE PRONOUNS

anybody anyone anything each

either everybody everyone neither
no one nobody nothing one
somebody someone something

PLURAL INDEFINITE PRONOUNS

both few many several

A Little Help with Capitals
This handout lists some guidelines for capitalization. If you have a question about
whether a specific word should be capitalized that doesn't fit under one of these rules, try
checking a dictionary to see if the word is capitalized there.

Use capital letters in the following ways:

The first words of a sentence

When he tells a joke, he sometimes forgets the punch line.

The pronoun "I"

The last time I visited Atlanta was several years ago.

Proper nouns (the names of specific people, places, organizations, and sometimes
things)

Worrill Fabrication Company Livingston, Missouri

Golden Gate Bridge Atlantic Ocean

Supreme Court Mothers Against Drunk Driving

Family relationships (when used as proper names)

I sent a thank-you note to Aunt Abigail, but not to my other

aunts.

Here is a present I bought for Mother.

Did you buy a present for your mother?

The names of God, specific deities, religious figures, and holy books

God the Father the Greek gods Buddha

the Virgin Mary Moses Zeus

the Bible Shiva

Exception: Do not capitalize the non-specific use of the word "god."

The word "polytheistic" means the worship of more than one god.

Titles preceding names, but not titles that follow names

She worked as the assistant to Mayor Hanolovi.

I was able to interview Miriam Moss, mayor of Littonville.

Directions that are names (North, South, East, and West when used as sections of
the country, but not as compass directions)

The Patels have moved to the Southwest.

Jim's house is two miles north of Otterbein.

The days of the week, the months of the year, and holidays (but not the seasons used
generally)

Halloween Friday spring

October winter fall

Exception: Seasons are capitalized when used in a title.

The Fall 1999 semester

The names of countries, nationalities, and specific languages

Costa Rica French

Spanish English

The first word in a sentence that is a direct quote

Emerson once said, "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of

little minds."

The major words in the titles of books, articles, and songs (but not short
prepositions or the articles "the," "a," or "an," if they are not the first word of the
title)
One of Jerry's favorite books is The Catcher in the Rye.

Members of national, political, racial, social, civic, and athletic groups

Green Bay Packers Democrats

African-Americans Friends of the Wilderness

Anti-Semitic Chinese

Periods and events (but not century numbers)

Victorian Era Constitutional Convention

Great Depression sixteenth century

Trademarks

Pepsi IBM

Honda Microsoft Word

Words and abbreviations of specific names (but not names of things that came from
specific things but are now general types)

Freudian UN

NBC french fries

pasteurize italics
Name:  ______________________   Date:  ____________________  
Teacher:  Mr.  Haase  per.  _____   Section:  Student  Toolbox  
 

Sentence  Variety  Ideas  

1.  –ing  word  group  (participle  phrase)  at  
the  beginning  of  the  sentence:  Sitting  on  
the  porch,  the  quiet,  close-­‐knit  family  watched  
the  sun  go  down.    

2.  –ing  word  group  in  the  middle  of  the  sentence:  The  quiet,  close-­‐knit  family,  
sitting  on  the  porch,  watched  the  sun  go  down.    

3.  –ing  word  group  at  the  end  of  the  sentence:  The  quiet,  close-­‐knit  family  sat  on  
the  porch,  watching  the  sun  go  down.    

4.  Adverb  clause  at  the  beginning  of  sentence:  As  the  quiet,  close-­‐knit  family  sat  
on  the  porch,  they  watched  the  sun  go  down.    

5.  Adverb  clause  at  the  end  of  sentence:  The  quiet,  close-­‐knit  family  sat  on  the  
porch  in  order  to  watch  the  sun  go  down.    

6.  Adjective  immediately  following  noun:  The  family,  quiet  and  close  knit,  sat  on  
the  porch,  watching  the  sun  go  down.    

7.  Appositive  (actual  word  that  will  serve  as  the  appositive  will  have  to  be  
added):  The  quiet,  close-­‐knit  family,  the  Smiths,  sat  on  the  porch,  watching  the  sun  go  
down.    

8.  Noun  followed  by  –ing  word  group  (noun  absolute):  The  sun  having  already  
gone  down,  the  quiet,  close-­‐knit  family  sat  on  the  porch.  
Loose  Sentences:  A  loose  sentence  is  a  type  of  sentence  in  which  the  main  idea  (independent  clause)  comes  first,  
followed  by  dependent  grammatical  units  such  as  phrases  and  clauses.  

• He  went  into  town  to  buy  groceries,  to  visit  his  friends,  and  to  go  to  the  bookstore.  

Balanced  Sentences:  A  balanced  sentence  is  a  sentence  that  uses  parallel  structure  of  roughly  the  same  length  and  
importance.  

"It  was  the  best  of  times,  it  was  the  worst  of  times..."  (A  Tale  of  Two  Cities)    

"White  chickens  lay  white  eggs,  and  brown  chickens  lay  brown  eggs;  so  if  white  cows  give  white  milk,  do  brown  
cows  give  chocolate  milk?"  

Parallel  Sentences:  Sentences  with  a  a  balance  of  two  or  more  similar  words,  phrases,  or  clauses.  

• Without  parallelism:  She  likes  cooking,  jogging,  and  to  read.  

• With  parallelism:  She  likes  cooking,  jogging,  and  reading.  
 
• Lacking  parallelism:  Affy  ran  across  the  yard,  jumped  over  the  fence,  and  down  the  alley  he  sprinted.  
• Parallel:  Affy  ran  across  the  yard,  jumped  over  the  fence,  and  sprinted  down  the  alley.  
 

Inverted  Sentences:  An  inverted  sentence  is  one  in  which  the  subject  appears  after  the  verb.  This  gives  the  subject  more  
emphasis.  
• In  the  garden  stand  the  statues.  
• On  the  desk  are  red  pens.  
Name:  ______________________   Date:  ____________________  
Teacher:  Mr.  Haase  per.  _____   Section:  Projects  and  Assessments  
 

1. What  style  of  sentences  can  you  find?  List  the  number  of  loose,  balanced,  and  parallel  *  sentences.  If  
you  have  no  sentences  of  one  of  these  types  in  your  paper,  rewrite  some  sentences  in  that  style.    

a. Loose  sentences:  _____  

b. One  I  added:    

c. Balanced  sentences:  _____  

d. One  I  added:  

e. Parallel  sentences:  _____  

f. One  I  added:  

2. How  long  are  your  sentences?  Count  words  in  the  paper,  count  sentences,  and  divide  to  arrive  at  an  
average  length.  Number  of  words  _____  /  Number  of  sentences  _____  =  _____  words/sentence.  

3. Find  your  longest  sentence.  It  has  _____  words.  The  sentence  before  it  has  _____  words.  The  sentence  
after  it  has  _____  words.  If  that  long  sentence  is  not  either  preceded  or  followed  by  a  short  sentence,  
change  one  of  them  to  a  short  sentence.    

a. This  question  applies  to  me.  (Yes  /  No)  

b. I  changed  this  sentence:    

c. to  this  one:  

4. What  forms  are  your  sentences?  Count  and  identify  them  below.  If  you  do  not  have  variety,  rewrite  
some  sentences  to  include  these  sentence  types.  

a. Simple  sentences:  _____  

b. One  I  added:  

c. Compound  sentences:  _____  

d. One  I  added:  _____  

  

e. Complex  sentences:    

f. One  I  added:  

5. Count  the  number  of  to  be  verbs  (is,  am,  are,  was,  were,  be,  being,  been).  Find  three  that  can  better  
be  expressed  as  action  verbs  and  rewrite  the  sentences  that  way.    

a. #  of  “to  be”  verbs:  _____  

b. I  changed  this  sentence:  

c. to  this  one:  

6. Have  you  inverted  any  sentences?  If  not,  rewrite  one  to  do  so.  The  inverted  sentence  I  (had  /  created)  
is:  

7. Count  how  many  times  you  use  of:  _____,  in:  _____,  to:  _____,  and  by:  _____.  Aim  to  use  each  word  
one  fewer  time.  

a. I  changed  this  sentence:  

b. to  this  one:  

8. Find  and  color-­‐code  all  of  your  pronouns.  Match  each  with  its  antecedent  by  color-­‐coding  that  word  
as  well.    

 
CONVERTING  YOUR  EVALUATION  TO  A  HOLISTIC  RUBRIC  SCORE…  
 
MEANING: the extent to which the response Points  Earned   Level  
exhibits sound understanding, interpretation, 30-­‐34   6  
and analysis of the task and texts 27-­‐29   5  
24-­‐26   4  
Add scores labeled (m) on the rubric. 21-­‐23   3  
18-­‐20   2  
fewer  than  18   1  

DEVELOPMENT: the extent to which ideas are Points  Earned   Level  

elaborated using specific and relevant 54-­‐60   6  
evidence from the texts 48-­‐53   5  
42-­‐47   4  
Add scores from the two Body Paragraph 36-­‐41   3  
clusters on the rubric. 32-­‐35   2  
fewer  than  32   1  

ORGANIZATION: the extent to which the Points  Earned   Level  

response exhibits direction, shape, and 67-­‐74   6  
coherence 59-­‐66   5  
51-­‐58   4  
Add scores labeled (o) on the rubric. 43-­‐50   3  
35-­‐42   2  
fewer  than  35   1  

LANGUAGE USE: the extent to which the Points  Earned   Level  

response reveals an awareness of audience 32-­‐36   6  
and purpose through effective use of words, 29-­‐31   5  
sentence structure, and sentence variety 26-­‐28   4  
23-­‐25   3  
Add scores labeled (l) on the front and back 20-­‐22   2  
of the rubric, including the entire Style sub- fewer  than  20   1  
section.

CONVENTIONS: the extent to which the Points  Earned   Level  

response exhibits conventional spelling, 72-­‐80   6  
punctuation, paragraphing, capitalization, 64-­‐71   5  
grammar, and usage 56-­‐63   4  
48-­‐55   3  
Add the Mechanics section on the back of 40-­‐47   2  
your rubric. fewer  than  40   1  

Add your score (level) from each of these five categories and divide by 30 to get your holistic rubric
grade.
 Summer Reading Essay Rubric
Adapted from the New York State English Regents Scoring Key and Rating Guide

QUALITY
Meaning: the extent to which
the response exhibits sound
understanding,
interpretation, and analysis
of the task and texts
Development: the extent to
which ideas are elaborated
using specific and relevant
evidence from the texts
Level 6 (91–100)
Masters Standard
Responses at this level
establish an in-depth analysis
of both texts through the lens
of the essential question and
make insightful connections
between the essential question
and the ideas in each text.
Responses at this level develop
ideas clearly and fully, making
effective use of a wide range of
relevant and specific evidence
and appropriate literary
elements from both texts.
Level 5 (81-90)
Exceeds Standard
Responses at this level
establish a thorough
understanding of both texts
through the lens of the essential
question and make clear and
explicit connections between
the essential question and the
ideas in each text.
Responses at this level develop
ideas clearly and consistently,
with reference to relevant and
specific evidence and
appropriate literary elements
from both texts.
Level 4 (71-80)
Meets Standard
Responses at this level
establish a basic understanding
of both texts and make implicit
connections between the
essential question and the ideas
in each text.
Responses at this level develop
some ideas more fully than
others, with reference to
specific and relevant evidence
and appropriate literary
elements from both texts.
Level 3 (61-70)
Approaches Standard
Responses at this level
establish a basic understanding
of the texts, but make few or
superficial connections
between the essential question
and the ideas in the texts.
Responses at this level develop
ideas briefly, using some
evidence from the texts and
may rely primarily on plot
summary.
Level 2 (51-60)
Below Standard
Responses at this level
convey a confused or
incomplete understanding of
the texts, making few
connections between the
essential question and the
texts.
Responses at this level are
incomplete or largely
undeveloped, hinting at
ideas, but references to the
text are vague, irrelevant,
repetitive, or unjustified.
Level 1 (50 or below)
No Evidence of Standard
Responses provide minimal or no
evidence of textual understanding
and make no connections
between the essential question
and ideas in the texts.
Responses at this level are
minimal, with no evidence of
development.

Organization: the extent to
which the response exhibits
direction, shape, and
coherence
Responses at this level
maintain the focus established
by the essential question and
exhibit a logical and coherent
structure through skillful use of
appropriate devices and
transitions.
Responses at this level
maintain the focus established
by the essential question and
exhibit a logical sequence of
ideas through use of
appropriate devices and
transitions.
Responses at this level
maintain a clear and
appropriate focus and exhibit a
logical sequence of ideas but
may lack internal consistency.
Responses at this level
establish, but fail to maintain,
an appropriate focus.
Responses exhibit a
rudimentary structure but may
include some inconsistencies or
irrelevancies.
Responses at this level lack Responses at this level show no
an appropriate focus but focus or organization.
suggest some organization,
or suggest a focus but lack
organization.

Language Use: the extent to
which the response reveals an
awareness of audience and
purpose through effective use
of words, sentence structure,
and sentence variety
Conventions: the extent to
which the response exhibits
conventional spelling,
punctuation, paragraphing,
capitalization, grammar, and
usage
Responses at this level are
stylistically sophisticated,
using language that is precise
and engaging, with a notable
sense of voice and awareness
of audience and purpose.
Responses also vary structure
and length of sentences to
enhance meaning.
Responses at this level
demonstrate control of the
conventions with essentially no
errors, even with sophisticated
language.
Responses at this level use
language that is fluent and
original, with evident
awareness of audience and
purpose. Responses vary
structure and length of
sentences to control rhythm
and pacing.
Responses at this level
demonstrate control of the
conventions, exhibiting
occasional errors only when
using sophisticated language.
Responses at this level use
appropriate language, with
some awareness of audience
and purpose. Responses
occasionally make effective use
of sentence structure or length.
Responses demonstrate partial
control, exhibiting occasional
errors that do not hinder
comprehension.
Responses at this level rely on
basic vocabulary, with little
awareness of audience or
purpose. Responses exhibit
some attempt to vary sentence
structure or length for effect,
but with uneven success.
Responses at this level
demonstrate emerging control,
exhibiting occasional errors
that hinder comprehension.
Responses at this level use Responses at this level are
language that is imprecise or minimal and use language that is
unsuitable for the audience or incoherent or inappropriate.
purpose and reveal little
awareness of how to use
sentences to achieve an
effect.
Responses at this level Responses at this level are
demonstrate a lack of control, minimal, making assessment of
exhibiting frequent errors conventions unreliable and may
that make comprehension be illegible or not recognizable as
difficult. English.

If the student addresses only one text, the response can be scored no higher than a 3.
If the student writes only a personal response, and makes no reference to the text(s), the response can be scored no higher than a 1.
Responses totally unrelated to the topic, illegible, incoherent, or blank should be given a 0.
A response totally copied from the text(s) with no original student writing should be scored a 0.