assignment

by Haonan Zheng
Submission date: 14-Dec-2018 12:43PM (UTC+1000)
Submission ID: 1056790341
File name: 38599_73751910_1061956887_assignment.docx
Word count: 6245
Character count: 38885

Grammar
Sp.
Vague
Grammar

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Sp.
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Awk.
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assignment
ORIGINALITY REPORT
28% 26% 18% 24%
SIMILARITY INDEX INTERNET SOURCES PUBLICATIONS STUDENT PAPERS
PRIMARY SOURCES
Submitted to Curtin University of Technology
1
Student Paper 2%
Submitted to Griffth University
2
Student Paper 1%
Submitted to Central Queensland University
3
Student Paper 1%
Submitted to University of New South Wales
4
Student Paper 1%
Submitted to Australian Catholic University
5
Student Paper 1%
Submitted to University of Sydney
6
Student Paper 1%
Submitted to University of Northumbria at
7 1%
Newcastle
Student Paper
always.perpetual.com.au
8
Internet Source 1%
researchoutput.csu.edu.au
9
Internet Source
1%
Submitted to Universiti Teknologi MARA
10
Student Paper 1%
ro.uow.edu.au
11
Internet Source 1%
firescholars.seu.edu
12
Internet Source 1%
Submitted to University of Western Sydney
13
Student Paper 1%
Submitted to Laureate Higher Education Group
14
Student Paper 1%
ddd.uab.cat
15
Internet Source 1%
eprints.lse.ac.uk
16
Internet Source 1%
Submitted to Michigan State University
17
Student Paper 1%
cms-business.sydney.edu.au
18
Internet Source 1%
Submitted to University of Utah
19
Student Paper <1%
Kyoung Tae Kim, Somer G. Anderson, Martin
20 <1%
C. Seay. "Financial Knowledge and Short-Term
and Long-Term Financial Behaviors of
Millennials in the United States", Journal of
Family and Economic Issues, 2018
Publicat ion
onlinelibrary.wiley.com
21
Internet Source <1%
Submitted to University Of Tasmania
22
Student Paper <1%
Submitted to Southern Alberta Institute of
23 <1%
Technology Polytechnic
Student Paper
Submitted to EDMC
24
Student Paper <1%
www.afcpe.org
25
Internet Source <1%
www.vse.cz
26
Internet Source <1%
www.liseducation.org.au
27
Internet Source <1%
Anne-Maree Sawyer, Sara James. "Are baby
28 <1%
boomer women redefining retirement?",
Sociology Compass, 2018
Publicat ion
Dikla Segel-Karpas, Peter A. Bamberger,
29
Samuel B. Bacharach. "The Prevalence and
Distribution of Aging-Friendly Human Resource <1%
Practices", The International Journal of Aging
and Human Development, 2015
Publicat ion
Submitted to Edith Cowan University
30
Student Paper <1%
Submitted to The University of Notre Dame
31
Student Paper <1%
Submitted to Texas State University- San
32 <1%
Marcos
Student Paper
Submitted to University of Reading
33
Student Paper <1%
Submitted to Kaplan Professional
34
Student Paper <1%
ifrnd.org
35
Internet Source <1%
Submitted to University of Technology, Sydney
36
Student Paper <1%
btp.press.vgtu.lt
37
Internet Source <1%
one.aom.org
38
Internet Source <1%
publications.lib.chalmers.se
39
Internet Source <1%
capco.com
40
Internet Source <1%
2018conference.ascilite.org
41
Internet Source <1%
Submitted to Southern Cross University
42
Student Paper <1%
link.springer.com
43
Internet Source <1%
Submitted to Sheffield Hallam University
44
Student Paper <1%
idtools.org
45
Internet Source <1%
spectre.cqu.edu.au
46
Internet Source <1%
www.cdu.edu.au
47
Internet Source <1%
demo.ands.org.au
48
Internet Source <1%
www.sajhrm.co.za
49
Internet Source <1%
www.afdb.org
50
Internet Source
<1%
www.degruyter.com
51
Internet Source <1%
preview-human-resources-
52 <1%
health.biomedcentral.com
Internet Source
journal.tplondon.com
53
Internet Source <1%
taxwatch.org.au
54
Internet Source <1%
archimer.ifremer.fr
55
Internet Source <1%
www.law.harvard.edu
56
Internet Source <1%
www.ingentaconnect.com
57
Internet Source <1%
www.amsa.org.au
58
Internet Source <1%
human-resources-health.biomedcentral.com
59
Internet Source <1%
researchbank.rmit.edu.au
60
Internet Source <1%
fsi.gov.au
61 Internet Source
<1%
Worthington, Andrew C. "Financial literacy and
62 <1%
financial literacy programmes in Australia",
Journal of Financial Services Marketing, 2013.
Publicat ion
academic.oup.com
63
Internet Source <1%
John Gibson, Chao Li. "The “Belt and Road
64 <1%
Initiative” and comparative regional productivity
in China", Asia & the Pacific Policy Studies,
2018
Publicat ion
Exclude quotes Of f Exclude matches Of f
Exclude bibliography Of f
assignment
GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS
Instructor
A good understanding of the f our issues has been
demonstrated, however needed more specif ic
75 inf ormation on the role of government to show athorough understanding of what
is currently beingdone. /100
Cases are simple but reasonably well executed.
Could use f urther evidence of the benef it of the
strategies, or explored other complex issues to
demonstrate an expert understanding.
Ref erences are of a high quality. Evidence
supporting strategy recommendations could be
better explained and contained a minor error.
Overall a good well presented report. Needed more
editing to improve grammar throughout.
PAGE 1
PAGE 2
PAGE 3
QM Grammar
Incorrect grammar
QM Sp.
Spelling error
QM Vague
Unclear:
When making a point in one of your body paragraphs, one of the most common
mistakes is to
not of f er enough details. A paragraph without much detail will seem vague and
sketchy. A paper
is always strengthened when your claims are as specif ic as possible, The more
detailed
evidence you of f er, the more ref erence points your reader will have. Remember
that you are
communicating your argument to a reader who has only your description to go by.
Someone
who reads your essay will not automatically know what you mean to express, so you
have to
supply details, to show the reader what you mean, not just tell him or her.
PAGE 4
QM Grammar
Incorrect grammar
PAGE 5
PAGE 6
Comment 1
This was renounced last year.
PAGE 7
Comment 2
This is a f airly dated ref erence.
Comment 3
There are several specif ic init iatives that the government has introduced to help
with the gap,
such as spouse contribution rebate, contribution splitt ing, and catch-up
concessional
contributions.
Comment 4
This sentence is contradictory. Need a clearer explanation.
PAGE 8
Comment 5
Needed to increase the f ocus on what the role of government and other
stakeholders is and
what they are doing about this.
QM Sp.
Spelling error
Comment 6
I f ind this explanation conf using. There is no $2,820 in the example? And she
previously was
not contributing anything additional?
PAGE 9
Comment 7
Ah, ok. Now I get where that f igure came f rom. The meaning of what was written
above does
not match what has occurred in the table.
Comment 8
It is a good idea to also show the projected balance at retirement based on this
strategy and
without. When advising you should do this as it communicates the long term benef it
to the
client.
QM Awk.
Awkward:
The expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider
rewriting.
PAGE 10
Comment 9
Up to 10%. Need to be clear with what you are saying as you do not have them
withdrawing
10% in the table below.
Comment 10
I get a dif f erent tax f igure. Have you used the new tax rates? Have you included
the pension
rebate?
PAGE 11
PAGE 12
Comment 11
This should be relevant to your case studies, as in challenges to the recommended
strategies
or implementation. Such as overcoming inertia, or the government changing the
rules.
PAGE 13
Comment 12
Again, this should be relevant to your case studies. What other strategies could be
recommended?
PAGE 14
PAGE 15
PAGE 16
PAGE 17
PAGE 18
PAGE 19
PAGE 20
GRADING FORM: 7214AFE 2018 TRIMESTER 3
HAONAN ZHENG 75
CRITERION 1
Current issues (10%) Learning Outcome 1.1 Demonstrate knowledge
of current demographic issues impacting on Retirement planning
Good level of understanding of the four identified
issues and/or not all issues comprehensively 15
understood.
CRITERION 2
Role of government (5%) Learning Outcome 1.1 Demonstrate
understanding of current legislation, role of government and/or other
stakeholder
Good explanation of the role of government and
legislation, and other stakeholders in response to 7
the issues.
CRITERION 3
Case studies (15%) Learning Outcomes 1.2, 1.3, 1.4 Apply advanced
theoretical and technical knowledge as it applies to superannuation,
retirement planning, taxation, and social security.
Appropriate case scenarios are developed that
focus on contemporary problems. 23
Recommendations are appropriate and demonstrate
a high ability to apply advanced technical knowledge
of retirement planning for different demographic
groups.
CRITERION 4
Sources/evidence (15%) Learning Outcomes 1.1, 1.2, 1.3, 1.4
Good level of research using quality sources,
including academic references and correct citations. 24
Basic evidence for case study recommendations.
CRITERION 5
Presentation (5%) Professional appearance (format, spelling,
grammar)
Report presents with mistakes and/or formatting
issues. 6