A Coming out Story

By: Carsey Nathaniel Sabijon

This is a story of love

A story of longing

A story of overcoming

A story of coming out

This is my story

My story of longing

My story of overcoming

My story of coming out of my own shadows

The story of who I am today

For years, I have lived my life doing the thing I truly love- you.

For years, my world revolved around your sunshine. The warmth of your presence gave life to my dying
core.

You fed my soul with your ecstasy and nourished my being with bliss

My days with you were one of my most treasured moments

With you, I grew and saw the world at a whole new perspective

A new direction, a new view at life

I thrived as I journeyed with you

And I have loved you

I have loved you for all that you were and everything you couldn’t

I have loved you for all that we cannot be and everything we should’ve

I cannot imagine a life worth-living if living it is without you in it

You have become the blood that runs through my veins

The air that lets me breathe

But just like all other great love stories ever written
Ours wasn’t meant to last

We lost it before we even knew it

And spark went out and what used to feel so right didn’t feel the same way it did before

I was not happy

Not anymore

That feeling that felt so good have gone astray and I can’t find it

One day, I woke up and everything about you changed

You were not the same love I used to long for

And right after, I knew it was really over

We fell out of love, I fell out of my greatest love and I failed you

I failed you because I thought I could make us last

I failed you because in the end, I was the one who couldn’t make us last

I gave up and we were torn apart

Now, we are living our separate lives

Trying to move forward, just like how the world is revolving around its axis

Familiarizing how it is to live a life so unfamiliar- a life without you

At first, I doubted

At first, I thought I couldn’t make it

At first, I hoped I did not make it happen

But indeed, the hardest part is the beginning and everything after came in to me smoothly

Now, I am living my life as free as a bird

Not faking who I am

Just letting everything flow

Welcoming new characters in my life

Embracing changes
Delighting at new opportunities

Coming to know myself more

And learning from life’s lesson

Learning from life’s greatest lesson—my greatest love—you.

And this is my coming out story

My story of coming out from my own shadows

My story of coming out from the ghost that haunt me- Crossroads