A BLOOMING DAHLIA

by
Alina Călin

Based on a true story

February 2018

Alina Călin
Donath 140, Corp C Ap. 3
Cluj-Napoca, 400293
Cluj, Romania
alina_calin16@yahoo.com
1 INT. CHAPEL OF THE SPIRITUAL CENTRE 1
Inside the small chapel of an Ignatian spiritual centre, a
couple of young people attend a mass with a general
unusual attention. Well, most of them...
A pious girl stands out of too much piety: dressed in long
and large blue and white clothes, wearing a necklace with
a big cross and a few miraculous shiny icons of all
existing versions of the Virgin Mary, and one with Jesus
in 3D. A few more rosaries, a kerchief on her head held
slightly inclined to the right, hands folded and a meek
expression make her look both comical and pious, and, for
some, quite scary.
Two chairs behind her, a blond boy yawns and almost falls
asleep. He gets a nudge from the girl to his left,
probably his annoyed girlfriend. He takes out his phone
and scrolls among apps in desperation. She rolls her eyes
and crosses her hands.

Several chairs away, we see a dark and long hair woman

with light blue-greyish eyes, and her experience is what
we will follow most.
The priest explains in the sermon what this retreat is
about.

THE PRIEST
You’ve all come here to retreat,
in search of God. Please remember
that first of all God is the one
in search of us. He works with
our desires and this is a time to
let him speak in the silence. You
won’t be talking during these
days, except for a few minutes
each day during spiritual
guidance, but there’ll be a lot
of talking with God. So I assure
you no loss of voice ever
happened during the spiritual
exercises for this reason.
(some of the tension is
diffused, people smile
serenely)
Always remember that God calls,
invites. Never bursts in with
violence or constriction. So
listen to the gentleness of the
silence, find the stillness in
the storm, and there is God,
revealing himself to us, calling
each of us in a personal way, in
the greatest desires of our
hearts... Now, we might be
experiencing darkness... fears...
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 2.

THE PRIEST (cont’d)

and pain... - let us invite God
to enter those spaces inside us
and transform them. Let us ask
for the grace to put them aside
and be open to God’s word for us
these days.
At the mention of fears and pains, we see the woman’s face
which shows pain, her eyes fixed on a past memory.

FADE IN AS REMEMBERING
2 EXT. ON A BUSY STREET, EVENING 2
A man and a woman seem to argue about something. It’s
night, cars go by making lots of noise and flashes. The
woman is upset trying to explain something, looking at the
man. The man is looking away, only when the woman shouts,
the louder tone catches his attention. She’s turning to
walk away, he grabs her hand, starts panicking and crying.

THE WOMAN
We need to discuss these things,
otherwise, I can’t go on like
this, I’m unhappy! This is
painful for both of us, so let’s
do something about it!
THE MAN
Don’t go! Please... don’t leave
me...

THE WOMAN
Have you heard any word I’ve
said? (now shouting) I didn’t say
I’m going, but we need to face we
have problems... and we can’t go
on like this!

THE MAN
Don’t... please...
THE WOMAN
Why are you acting like this?

He is crying and shaking on the spot now, not catching a

word of what she said. The woman looks at him with disgust
and pity, perplexed at what seems to her a very unusual
behavior out of the blue. She distances herself to the man
in front of her, like a stranger she does not know, trying
to free her hand. She’s starting to fear...
FADE OUT END OF MEMORY
 3.

3 INT. CHAPEL OF THE SPIRITUAL CENTRE 3

The woman’s eyes are wet with tears and a hopelessness
shadows her face. An offertory song is heard in the
background as the mass continues.
THE WOMAN
(Inside her head)
He’s not well. I’m not well.
(her voice cracks on the
last word)
My God, I am scared. You make me
face these difficulties and pain
- why is that?... How will we
ever be able to build a family?
How will I ever be able to love
him as he is? Look at me...
(a smiling Jesus on a
crucifix is shown -
voice-over)
You ask me to love only this one
person... and I can’t do it.
(her eyes are begging now,
and her voice becomes a
whisper)
Save me from my selfishness...
please, save me from my thrive
for perfection and comfort... my
God, I’m nothing without your
help and love, I’m unable to
love!
The smiling Jesus on the crucifix looks down with love
upon her.
4 INT. IN THE WOMAN’S ROOM TO THE CHAPEL (AT THE SPIRITUAL
CENTRE) - DAY 1 4
The woman wakes up early and marvels at the sunrise seen
from her window. It’s a peaceful silence, but some distant
birds are heard. She smiles with gratitude for the beauty,
breeds in the chilly air, then goes downstairs.
GOD’S MALE VOICE OVER
"For I know the plans I have for
you," declares the Lord, "plans
to prosper you and not to harm
you, plans to give you hope...
and a future..."

As she walks along the corridor leading to the chapel, her

hand is stretched so as to touch the leaves of the pot
flowers near the large window. The leaves make a noisy
swish together with the steps in the deep silence.
FADE INTO A MEMORY
 4.

5 EXT. IN A GARDEN 5
The same man picks up a flower and carefully places it in
the woman’s hair. Sun dances among the leaves and the wind
makes a swishing noise among them.
GOD’S MALE VOICE OVER
"Then you will call on me and
come and pray to me, and I will
listen to you.

You will seek me and find me when

you seek me with all your heart."
Light and laughter between the two lovers.

FADE OUT FROM THE MEMORY

6 INT. IN THE WOMAN’S ROOM TO THE CHAPEL (AT THE SPIRITUAL
CENTRE) - DAY 1 6
She reaches the chapel, keeps her gaze fixed on the
tabernacles for a few seconds, her eyes shining
brightly. She then sits.
GOD’S MALE VOICE OVER
"Bring my sons from afar..."

GOD’S FEMALE VOICE OVER

"...and my daughters from the
ends of the earth..."
The priest sits on a kneeling chair, eyes closed and
praying. There are other people in the chapel. The pious
girl with all her religious objects stock sits kneeling in
the same pious position head inclined to the right. The
blond boy makes a short snort, almost falling asleep. His
girlfriend turns scarlet. The priest opens his eyes, takes
a look around and speaks in a peaceful voice.

THE PRIEST
We will begin this morning with
an Ignatian contemplation based
on the text from Matthew, when
Jesus walks on water. I will be
guiding it following the steps I
recommend you all to take during
your individual meditations
throughout the day. You will all
receive a piece of paper with it,
so I’d rather you don’t spend
time taking notes now, this is
not school.
(he smiles, shy giggles are
heard)
Also, the steps are not about
checking everything on the list
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5.

THE PRIEST (cont’d)

- five more minutes and I
haven’t meditated on the last
paragraph! I should do it,
quickly!
(more shy laughs)
The steps are only a guide to
help us be available for God to
create the experience. Let him
lead you putting all your senses
and abilities, mind, imagination,
memory, in his hands. Remain
where you feel like staying
longer. Decide upon a time to
remain in prayer and keep to that
time. When distractions come,
acknowledge them and come back to
the text. When there is a taste
for something, write it down and
maybe come back to it later in
the day, but keep to the time
decided as you need breaks in
between meditations. For now,
let’s begin in the name of the
father, the son and the holy
spirit. We close our eyes and
choose a comfortable and
prayerful position. I become
aware that I come in prayer to
meet with God...
People close their eyes and open up to prayer.

THE PRIEST
And there he is, I see with my
mind’s eye how God looks at me,
sees me as I am here, now, and
smiles...
(light and emotion on
people’s faces)
I ask God to help me offer this
time to him entirely, with all I
am and all I have, for his glory,
praise and service...
(he starts reading the
gospel)
"Immediately Jesus made the
disciples get into the boat and
go on ahead of him to the other
side, while he dismissed the
crowd. After he had dismissed
them, he went up on a
mountainside by himself to pray.
Later that night, he was there
alone, and the boat was already a
considerable distance from land,
buffeted by the waves because the
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 6.

THE PRIEST (cont’d)

wind was against it. Shortly
before dawn Jesus went out to
them, walking on the lake. When
the disciples saw him walking on
the lake, they were terrified.
"It’s a ghost," they said, and
cried out in fear. But Jesus
immediately said to them: "Take
courage! It is I. Don’t be
afraid." "Lord, if it’s you,"
Peter replied, "tell me to come
to you on the water." "Come," he
said. Then Peter got down out of
the boat, walked on the water and
came toward Jesus. But when he
saw the wind, he was afraid and,
beginning to sink, cried out,
"Lord, save me!" Immediately
Jesus reached out his hand and
caught him. "You of little
faith," he said, "why did you
doubt?" And when they climbed
into the boat, the wind died
down. Then those who were in the
boat worshiped him, saying,
"Truly you are the Son of God."

I ask God for the grace I need.

It may be courage, or faith, or
simply to know Jesus better.
We can imagine Jesus as he rushes
the disciples to go into the
boat, on the lake, without him...
He sends the 12 men alone...
The woman’s face comes into focus, as the priest’s voice
becomes distant and quieter...

FADE INTO THE BIBLE SCENE

7 EXT. ON THE GALILEE SEASHORE 7
Jesus with a crowd of people, talking to 12 men and
rushing them to take the boat and go. The horizon looks
like a storm is coming, and the men look uneasy at the
idea of sailing. They eventually agree and Jesus turns
around towards the crowd to face the woman, unsure if
she’s to go for the boat experience or not anymore.

THE WOMAN
Men... 12 men go into the boat.
You send them through, but what
do I do? Should I go? But I am a
woman, where do you send me?
(she looks lost and the
question come out as

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 7.

bursting from nowhere with a

force so brute that she
bursts into silent tears)
How do I follow you if I’m a
woman?
The scene is frozen, except Jesus and her. Jesus looks at
her. Then he freezes with the scene, which turns darker. A
voice answers the woman:

THE VOICE
You are a woman! Your place is at
home. You have nothing to do
here, you’re a woman, not a
disciple. This is men’s work,
strong men, a storm is coming.
There’s no place for you here!
The woman falls down devastated. The face of an old woman
appears saying:
THE WOMAN’S GRANDMOTHER
Your father was so disappointed
when he heard you’re a girl too -
and the third!
(she laughs amused)
I was there when he got the phone
call.
Then a few men dressed in suits shake hands. The woman in
between two of them is disregarded with no salute or
handshake, as if she wasn’t there.

THE VOICE
There no place for you in a men’s
world!
A father closes the door in the face of a girl without
saying goodbye, disregard for her stretched hands longing
for an embrace or words of love.
Tears stream down her face, as she gazes at the frozen
image of Jesus.
THE WOMAN
This isn’t you, is it? I may not
have the right to ask for an
answer now, but you are not like
that. These are just shadows of
my past, pains I carry through. I
will leave them aside and I will
wait until the real voice of my
God will answer. For I Know you
will, I can wait not knowing my
path, not knowing how do I follow
you as a... a... woman...
(the word sounded like a

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 8.

curse, though she knew there

was more to it)
What am I to you as a woman... If
I’m I supposed to be willing for
a quiet married life and
children, then help me desire
this... Help me see womanhood as
a blessing!
The face of Jesus unfreezes from the scene.

THE WOMAN
I wish I was in the storm, out in
the boat. There’s so much inside
me, I want it out. I fear no
winds or waters, I’d rather
battle them!
(her eyes still wet, her
face contorted with pain)
JESUS
I know. It’s the storm in your
hear that you fear, the pains you
still carry. Let me take them
away.
THE WOMAN
What do you want me to do? How
should I follow you?
JESUS
All in good time. You’re welcome
to come and pray with me now, on
the hill.
(he takes her by the hand)
The rest of the scene appears as they stand on a high
hill. The wind blows strong and distant, rain and thunders
illuminate the night. Not very far, on the sea, 12 men in
a boat struggle with the storm.
JESUS
I think I am needed there.
(he shows towards the boat)

THE WOMAN
And what do I do? Send me away
home if you want and I will go.
JESUS
I do not want you to go, but the
answer you seek is much more
complex for now. Look down.
The woman looks at her feet, on a calm water, in the midst
of a stormy weather. Jesus makes a few steps, like dance
steps, and she follows, a dance on water. He then lets her
hand go.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 9.

JESUS
Have patience. That’s all I ask
now.
The woman finds herself again on the cliff. She looks as
Jesus approaches the boat of the apostles. Unsure about
her path, all she can do is trust... and wait... she must
accept not knowing, but she believes she’s safe in the
confusion experienced, she’s in God’s hands...

FADE OUT OF THE BIBLE SCENE

8 INT. CHAPEL OF THE SPIRITUAL CENTRE 8
The woman’s face, as she prays in the chapel, is back into
focus. She slowly opens her eyes, and all end the prayer.

WOMAN AND ALL ALONG

Glory be to the father, and to
the son, and to the holy spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is
now and ever shall be, world
without end. Amen.
All raise up slowly, one by one, each in their time,
proceeding through the corridor towards the dining hall.
All in silence, a peaceful music plays inside the room,
like Rachmaninov’s Vespers. Cutlery is heard, as people
serve themselves with breakfast and tea. She sits at a
table, each keeping to their own world. Someone looks for
the salt in the far corner of the table. Someone nearby
notices and hands out the salt. The couple meet their eyes
and smile at each other.

At a table nearby some raise up as they finished, one

person remains eating and another keeps drinking from a
non-ending cup of tea. They stay like this for some time.
A few people around them fuzz about picking up plates and
cleaning tables, among them the pious girl with her head
inclined. The two remain seated, quietly and peacefully,
no rush for them in the whole world.
FADE INTO THE CUP OF TEA
9 INT. COLLOQUIUM ROOM 9

From the cup of tea we get out in a different room, bright

and spacious, a table with a few flowers and some books on
it. The pious girls gets out of the room, passing near the
woman who seems embarrassed and exasperated at the looks
of all those rosaries, but desperately trying not to show
it fakes a smile which ends up looking very unconvincing,
then enters and closes the door. She’s able to give a
genuine smile to Karen, who invites her to sit.
The woman sits in front of an older lady who’s casually
dressed, her long silver hair tight back. Long face and
skinny, she looks beautiful very much like Jane Goodall.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 10.

KAREN
How are you today?
THE WOMAN
I’m good. Really grateful to be
here.
KAREN
Has it been a good day so far?

THE WOMAN
Yes, I think, yes. Unusual, but I
think good... The morning prayer
went... unexpected...
KAREN
Walking on water?
THE WOMAN
Yes...
(she struggles to say)

KAREN
How did you experience the scene?
Was it from the boat or... ?
THE WOMAN
No...
(hesitates)
It felt like the boat was... for
the apostles... and... not for
me...

KAREN
Why do you think you were not in
the boat?
THE WOMAN
I don’t know, it just felt
like... there is something else
for me... and... the question was
how do I follow Jesus, and I am
different from the apostles...
how do I follow him as... what is
my role in the church ...as... as
I am.
Her second attempt to say the truth out loud the word
woman failed. She becomes anxious and ashamed, but the
words just wouldn’t come out. How does she follow Jesus as
a woman? She looks at Karen, lost for words.
KAREN
Is there something that feels
like an impediment?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 11.

THE WOMAN
Perhaps, but not exactly... it
ended peacefully as if it’s
supposed to be something else,
but it’s not clear what.
Karen looks a bit puzzled, but remains silent.
KAREN
What was the grace you asked for?

THE WOMAN
Faith. Faith that there is a way
for me...
(the phrase remains
unfinished, after a long
pause she continues)
Then, in the first meditation
during the day, it was Isaiah 43,
a passage very dear to me.
KAREN
What touched you most?
THE WOMAN
It was...

She opens her bible, though she knows the words by heart,
just to check they are still there and be able to read
them aloud:
THE WOMAN
"Bring my daughters from the ends
of the earth...everyone who is
called by my name, whom I created
for my glory, whom I formed and
made."
Karen nods to this and remains silent for a while. The
woman’s face is brightened up by the meaning of the words:
she is his, created to glorify God by nature.
KAREN
What are you seeking in these
exercises?

THE WOMAN
If you mean vocation... I think I
know where I tend to, in marriage
(she’s anxious again, a distant
future no doubt for this, so a
subject to avoid) but I’m not
here for that, but to deepen my
relationship with God.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 12.

KAREN
There’s also a personal vocation,
that is unique to each of us. The
way God touches us, the gift we
receive and are able to pass on
to others. It’s a particular
talent, unique for each of us.
I’d like you to think about that.
The woman looks interested and happy about the idea and
the change of a subject she was not at ease with.
FADE OUT WINDOW
10 EXT. OUTSIDE THE CENTRE, ON THE GROUND 10

People are outside, standing, sitting on benches or grass,

near trees or just walking by, watching in silence a
sunset that hypnotized them all. The couple hold each
other still, in silence. The pious girl spreads her arms
slowly in the wind. The woman looks towards the setting
sun in meditation.
11 INT. CHAPEL OF THE SPIRITUAL CENTRE -DAY 2 11
Fade into the image of a green field, where a shepherd
holds a sheep in his arms. He is carrying it towards
light, his lips gently kiss the fur and he holds it, eyes
closed. Pastel tones of green, orange and yellow, and a
white sheep. We draw back revealing that this is a
painting on a side wall of the chapel. The scene then gets
shaped, revealing the surrounding of the chapel. All
people are inside, ’set-up’ for meditation. The priest is
reading a passage, so as to begin another guided
meditation.
THE PRIEST
We become aware of God’s
presence... and listen to his
word... spoken to us...
(keeps a silent pause)
"To some who were confident of
their own righteousness and
looked down on everyone else,
Jesus told this parable..."

FADE INTO THE PRIEST’S MOUTH

12 INT. OF A CHURCH 12

From the priest’s mouth, the scene fades out revealing a

man who prays in a Catholic medieval looking church. He
stands, looks pious and humble, head down and gratitude in
his face.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 13.

VOICE OVER
"Two men went up to the temple to
pray, one a Pharisee and the
other a tax collector. The
Pharisee stood by himself and
prayed: ’God, I thank you that I
am not like other people-robbers,
evildoers, adulterers - or even
like this tax collector. I fast
twice a week and give a tenth of
all I get.’But the tax collector
stood at a distance.
The scene reveals far behind this man, another person,
sitting in the last bench of the church, looking at his
hands open and upward, a tear drops down but silence is
kept.
VOICE OVER
"He would not even look up to
heaven, but beat his breast and
said, ’God, have mercy on me, a
sinner.’ I tell you that this
man, rather than the other, went
home justified before God. For
all those who exalt themselves
will be humbled, and those who
humble themselves will be
exalted."
The woman steps into the church. As if invisible, the
other two men do not see her. She walks around as if
inspecting the scene. Jesus enters the scene and they both
approach the first men, the Pharisee.
THE WOMAN
I don’t get it. There’s nothing
wrong with aiming to be a good
person, and being happy about
it... except perhaps being too
self-content about it... and
thinking that despising others
for not being as good is his
right... and not seeing his own
pride is a grave sin as it stops
him loving others... because he’s
not asking for forgiveness and
love, he’s not giving it to
others...
(Jesus moves his head in
approval for each statement.
She looks at him.)
I’m sorry... I’m doing it through
and through... I keep asking you
to help me not to sin. I wish my
prayer would be a gratitude for
keeping me from sinning. I find
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 14.

THE WOMAN (cont’d)

it so hard to accept that I am
and always will be a sinner on my
own, I don’t see my own faults.
And that you love me, and will
always do, providing forgiveness
regardless of that... Not letting
you chose between giving me the
grace not to sin or the grace of
forgiveness for my sin. And my
mistake is bigger, for I should
know...
She walks towards the tax collector, who’s open hands
Jesus is holding gently.

FOCUS ON HANDS
13 INT. COLLOQUIUM ROOM 13
The hands of the woman, and then the woman entirely we
see, seated and looking at her hands, open upwards.
KAREN
What was the grace you have asked
for?

THE WOMAN
To know my... sins...
The last words came out with difficulty. She’s feeling
again anxious and unable to properly speak. A wave of heat
and sweat, but she wants to be sincere.

THE WOMAN
And acknowledge that I am a...
sinner.
She feels ashamed for both being a sinner and for not
being able to accept it openly in front of others. She
looks at her hands for a while and then back at Karen.
KAREN
We’re all sinners of course, but
we’re loved sinners, loved by
God... this is the essence of our
faith, God’s love, that took our
sins away... and that love is
what sustains our whole
existence... What about the other
meditations?
THE WOMAN
I remained for some time with the
text from Osea... I found it very
beautiful...

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 15.

Her face was full of light and hope, but also a glimpse of
fear - is she dramatizing it all, is it too much?
KAREN
What touched you most?
She hesitates again, though she remembers all words
perfectly, she finds herself again paralyzed in letting
all the emotions out: the joy and beauty of the words, the
encounter with a God who loves despite the horrible misery
she just found inside herself. She picks the bible and
opens it.
FADE INTO THE BIBLE
14 EXT. OUTSIDE THE CENTRE, ON THE GROUND 14

The bible is opened and a voice reads out. We’re in a

green space, the woman sits under a willow tree, near the
small lake.
VOICE OVER
"Therefore, behold, I will allure
her, and bring her into the
wilderness, and speak comfortably
unto her. And I will give her her
vineyards from thence, and the
valley of Achor for a door of
hope: and she shall sing there,
as in the days of her youth."
She looks ahead and remembers a past innocent time, when
she was there with her friends, playing the guitar and
singing together. The scene pops into existence on the
grass in front of her. There is joy, unity and love. And
Jesus comes from among them to her present self.
JESUS
You always loved to sing.

THE WOMAN
I did... I do... but it’s all in
the past... I wanted to do so
much good, but I failed... I keep
failing...

Then people around the young memory of the woman start

disappearing one after the other, some pushed away, some
clung too tight they go away, some simply because they
have to, until her younger self is left alone and puts the
guitar down before disappearing. Jesus remains near her,
under the willow tree.
JESUS
It does not matter. I still love
you for that. And always will...
Read this, down further in the
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 16.

JESUS (cont’d)
text. Here: "And I will take you
for my wife forever; I will take
you for my wife in righteousness
and in justice, in steadfast
love, and in mercy. I will take
you for my wife in faithfulness;
and you shall know the Lord."
(he looks her in the eyes)
This is what you desire, isn’t
it?
THE WOMAN
Why would you say that, after
seeing my truth, full of sin and
failure?

JESUS
I know the whole truth you carry
with you. The darkness all fades
in front of the light. I choose
to be faithful and always love
you.
Now the woman stands there alone. She closes her eyes and
holds the book tight to her chest. Her expression full of
emotion, with the great feeling of being loved as she is.
Undeserving. Without her own ability to do it properly -
but because he said it, she accepts with gratefulness what
could never be earned...
THE WOMAN
Thank you... I accept... Your
way.
She remains on the spot but there is a fade into the same
scene but at sunset time. The scene reveals other people
around the same spot, near the lake reflecting the dim
light.

FADE INTO LAKE THAT TURNS DARK (NIGHT) THEN LIGHT BLUE
15 INT. IN THE WOMAN’S ROOM TO THE CHAPEL (AT THE SPIRITUAL
CENTRE) - DAY3 15

Fade out from the window. She wakes up with the same words
in her mind (VOICE OVER as she raises up and looks on her
window at the morning ground and then walks towards the
chapel, enters and sits): "And I will take you for my wife
forever; I will take you for my wife in righteousness and
in justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy. I will take
you for my wife in faithfulness; and you shall know the
Lord."
Her eyes fixed on the crucifix, she prays in her mind:

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 17.

THE WOMAN
I ask for the grace to be worthy
of what you offered me. To be
faithful to you, in righteousness
and in justice, in steadfast
love, and in mercy.
She ponders to think what could she do in exchange.
THE WOMAN
You deserve someone worthier to
serve you... Least I can do is...
What to do... Offer you my truth,
so you can transform it. In
confession. I want to do it
right.

16 INT. SPIRITUAL CENTRE’S LIBRARY 16

She searches through some shelves with books. Takes one -
not good, put it back. Another - we see the title "The
Jesuit Guide to Almost Everything" - really? Shakes her
head and takes "Novenas" with St. Anthony on the cover -
definitely not. "Common prayers" - open up to find a
prayer before and after confession - too classic and
brief, this is not helping much.
Sits down and takes her phone, googles "how to make a good
confession" and finds a website about the 10 commandments
and the church commandments. She takes a long piece of
paper and starts writing. And writes, about 1 meter of a
paper roll. She googles more and opens a youtube video
explaining confession through a role play - a penitent
confesses their sins and then the priest explains if that
was too abstract, unclear and what level of detail is
sufficient. It all becomes comical, a frantic and
desperate person who seemed to forget how to do a
confession after doing it so many times. She closes her
phone, rips the paper in pieces and throws it in the
garbage.
She wants to go out. On the corridor, the pious girl found
a statue of the virgin Mary in a corner and stands
kneeling in front of the statue, unmoved and with her head
slightly to the right, hands folded, like she were a
statue herself. A person sits on a bench, reading from the
bible. The blond boy sits stretched a bit further away and
looks like he is playing a strategy game on his phone -
but the lack of sound can’t tell what exactly.
17 EXT. OUTSIDE THE CENTRE, ON THE GROUNDS 17

She is out and finds a place for prayer on the hillside,

in the shadow of an apple tree. Ants keep climbing and
biting. Not so fun, but the view is beautiful, makes all
the ant bites in the world, so she stays.

Opens her bible and starts reading. Martha and Mary.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 18.

FADE EYES TO ENTER THE BIBLE SCENE IMAGINED

18 EXT. IN A VILLAGE 18

VOICE OVER
"While they were traveling, he
entered a village, and a woman
named Martha welcomed him into
her home. She had a sister named
Mary, who also sat at the Lord’s
feet and was listening to what he
said."
As the voice speaks we see Jesus walking through a small
village and seeing a beautiful looking house that has a
different feeling. He walks further towards the central
point of the village, but he’s with a bunch of followers,
so all look out their windows in curiosity. Men and women
alike around this Jesus, all get around as he preaches.
MARTHA
He looks like a decent man, a
prophet with wisdom. Lazarus, why
don’t you ask him to come in our
house. They must be tired and
hungry of walking all day.

LAZARUS
I think you can ask him yourself.
It is your house, and he looks
like a man who would not be
offended being asked by you, even
if he’s not from these places.
Look, there are happy looking
women among the traveling
fellows. He doesn’t seem to be at
all like the fanatic you invited
last time and took offense at it.

MARTHA
We’ll go together. Mary, will you
join us?
19 INT. MARTHA’S HOUSE 19

We see people gathered around a table and some others of

Jesus’s companions in the garden outside, in the shadow of
a cedar tree. Lazarus is sitting near him.
LAZARUS
Thank you for accepting my
sister’s invitation. She is very
dear to me, like a mother since
our parents died, and I know it
makes her very happy you are
here.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 19.

JESUS
You have beautiful sisters with a
big heart. Take care of them and
love them greatly.

Jesus looks towards Mary, who blushes and smiles back with
gratitude. Then he looks towards Martha, who was busying
herself trying to make everything perfect for this great
man that made her this great honor to come into her house,
at her invitation, in a forgotten village. She comes to
him to asks for her sister’s help.
VOICE OVER
But Martha was distracted by her
many tasks, and she came up and
asked, "Lord, don’t you care that
my sister has left me to serve
alone? So tell her to give me a
hand." The Lord answered her,
JESUS
"Martha, Martha, you are worried
and upset about many things, but
one thing is necessary. Mary has
made the right choice, and it
will not be taken away from her."

And it all comes quickly in the woman’s mind: fussing

about books on confession, lists, and online searches...
She finds herself sitting where Martha was before. And
Jesus speaks to her:
JESUS
Come and sit here. All is fine
now, it does not have to be
perfect. There are other ways to
love, simpler ways. Feel free to
sit with me as you are, now.

She sits, unable to dismiss such a clear request. But

still clinging to what she thinks she should be doing.
Jesus and the woman remain in the scene.
THE SURROUNDINGS CHANGE TO BE IN THE CHAPEL

20 INT. CHAPEL OF THE SPIRITUAL CENTRE 20

The woman sits looking towards the altar. After a pause in
a dear silence and loving gaze, she sighs - "oh, dear...
Be it a disaster, I’m going for it. I place it in your
hands".
 20.

21 INT. CORRIDOR TOWARDS THE CHIMNEY ROOM 21

The woman ponders up and down the corridor, sending
glances at the door of the chimney room every time she
hears a door sound. She keeps repeating the whole list of
things she wrote down this morning, counting on fingers
the most important. She is anxious. She could have used
the list, but felt so stupid about reading it. She walks
with her hand touching the leaves of the pot flowers to
make them gently swish again.

Two people look like they are waiting for the same thing,
for the priest in the colloquium room on the other end of
the corridor. The pious girl is wearing today less
religious necklaces and as she sits on a bench, she looks
out the window, looking relaxed. The blond boy walks
slowly, head down in a very small book, not turning the
page for more than 10 minutes now.
Anxious and restless, she feels more stupid than ever.
Someone gets out and she enters the chimney room.

22 INT. CHIMNEY ROOM 22

As she enters she sees two chairs around a table. On the
table, there is a lit candle, and she feels very grateful
for seeing it - a sign to remember her about God’s
presence and the calm light is peaceful. She smiles, the
light of candle seems sweet and fulfilling. The priest
invites her to sit on the other chair. The moment feels
solemn.
THE PRIEST
In the name of the Father, and of
the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
THE WOMAN
Amen.
THE PRIEST
What are your sins?
The question seems awkward, like taken from a book. She
ignores this, closes her eyes and starts.

THE WOMAN
First of all... I realized it is
very difficult for me to see
myself as a sinner and accept me
as being a sinner.
(the words came out with
surprising ease, but with
strong emotion of a truth
spoken out loud)
And I realized I have neglected
confession many times or done it
superficially for this reason.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 21.

This being said, she moves on to the first item on the

list. It was about Sunday activities that involve other
people working. How she would want to change that, so they
don’t have to... Earlier in the day it felt like a good
thing, but now it felt absurd, she felt like a Pharisee
again clinging to fixed rules and avoiding the serious
problems and sins to address - not aiming to close coffee
places opened on Sunday mornings.
She felt so stupid and absurd she could not continue with
saying it. She opened her eyes in disbelief of how absurd
it was. Her mind went blank. She could not say anything
else. She was looking out the window, to diminish her
desperation of not knowing how to continue, at the same
time being aware that this was coming all along, she could
see it all day, it was not a surprise at all.

Then suddenly she realizes she is in a sacred space,

unable to confess her sins further, and a priest awaits
alarmed by her reaction. She hardly contains her tears.
THE WOMAN
I’m sorry. Words come out with
difficulty. (in an unclear
whisper)
THE PRIEST
Why are you sorry?

THE WOMAN
Because words come out with
difficulty...
The priest decides to end it, gives the absolution and the
final blessing.
FADE INTO THE CANDLE
23 INT. CHAPEL OF THE SPIRITUAL CENTRE 23

Fade out from the candle, revealing the people praying at

the mass. All on their knees.
THE PRIEST
Behold the Lamb of God, behold
him who takes away the sins of
the world. Blessed are those
called to the supper of the Lamb.
ALL
Lord, I am not worthy that you
should enter under my roof, but
only say the word and my soul
shall be healed.
The last words we hear them spoken by the woman. She
continues praying in her mind while she rises up and walks
towards the line for communion.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 22.

THE WOMAN
I am not worthy, and I’ll never
be. Unable to do a proper
confession today. But perhaps
what is most important has been
said, and that is sufficient to
you. And this is what matters,
your love, your mercy, your
greatness that lifts me up. Today
I choose to make it less about
me, miserable me and my faults...
and celebrate you... your
kindness... your forgiveness
beyond my ability to confess...
for today I know your love...
truly unconditional...

She has bright eyes and desire and gladness fills her
heart as she approaches and takes communion.
THE PRIEST
The body and blood of Christ.
THE WOMAN
Amen.
As she walks back to her place and sits, in her mind:

THE WOMAN
I asked for the grace to do a
good confession - in my
definition of good confession to
make me feel good about giving
you something good. Instead, you
give me your love and acceptance
in what I feel is a dreadful and
imperfect me. You give me love
for imperfection so I can love
imperfection myself.

JESUS’S VOICE OVER

"And this is how I take you for
my wife forever; I take you for
my wife in righteousness and in
justice, in steadfast love, and
in mercy. I take you for my wife
in faithfulness; and you shall
know the Lord."
FOCUS ON THE SMILING JESUS CRUCIFIED
 23.

24 EXT. OUTSIDE THE CENTRE, ON THE GROUNDS 24

A new astonishing sunset gathers all on the hillside to
watch it. We see them as silhouettes, contre-jour,
undistinguished on the scarlet-peach background.
Interlapped with the scene we see parts and voice over of
the conversation between the woman and Karen.
KAREN
In the exam prayer, we place
ourselves in front of God as we
are. We first express our
gratitude for all we have lived
during the day. We go through it
and become aware of his presence
and action in our lives. Then we
place in Jesus’s hands all
hardships and pains, sins and
failures. No need to carry them
further. Lastly, we ask for the
graces we need to follow him
closer, to do his will. This is
the only way we can start again
tomorrow, free of today...
FACE OUT INTO THE SUN

25 INT. CHAPEL OF THE SPIRITUAL CENTRE- DAY 4 25

Fading out from the sun at dawn, the scene reveals a new
setting. It’s morning, a distant rooster’s song is
decisive. Moving back through the window of the chapel and
looking around the chapel we see three people on kneeling
chairs who pray. It’s so much silence, we can hear life
pulsating very quietly. It turns into a music, then
swishing leaves and her hand moving through them. Winds
moving leaves outside. Her hand feels the lake’s water
where orange fish swim in banks. Tries to hold a fish but
the scene transforms into a red rose she approaches and
breaths in the beautiful and discrete perfume. Her eyes
closed and the wind blows slowly into her hair. Sunlight
is warm and beautiful on her skin. The sound of life,
breath and heart, are there.

26 EXT. OUTSIDE THE CENTRE, ON THE GROUNDS 26

In this light, a bright face of a woman in her 40s, small
wrinkles around her eyes, Elisabeth. She gently touches
her visible pregnancy and sees a very young woman, Mary,
approaching her. She’s emotional at the sight of her, and
the baby moves inside.
VOICE OVER
"In those days Mary set out and
hurried to a town in the hill
country of Judah where she
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 24.

VOICE OVER (cont’d)

entered Zechariah’s house and
greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth
heard Mary’s greeting, the baby
leaped inside her, and Elizabeth
was filled with the Holy Spirit.
Then she exclaimed with a loud
cry:"
Mary approaches Elisabeth with a smile, looking at her and
the baby, and touches her belly. Elisabeth touches her
hands and holds them. Mary takes her hand to her belly and
happy tears come down.
VOICE OVER
"Blessed are you among women, and
your child will be blessed! How
could this happen to me, that the
mother of my Lord should come to
me? For you see, when the sound
of your greeting reached my ears,
the baby leaped for joy inside
me. Blessed is she who has
believed that the Lord would
fulfill what he has spoken to
her!"

The woman is somewhere in the scene, behind Elisabeth, shy

and consternated. Feeling awkward and clumsy to witness
such an emotional scene between the two women. Mary and
Elisabeth call her to come and see. She does not remember
walking the long distance, but she’s already near them.
Mary smiles:

MARY
It’s such a beautiful thing.
The woman smiles awkwardly, not feeling it as so. That is
surely something for the future, distant future. Will she
ever have children? Will she ever have someone besides her
to raise them? Sadness shadows her and pain is visible on
her face. She sits.
THE WOMAN
Ongoing pain for years, a
relationship that does not seem
to go anywhere. Sometimes is ok,
but whenever it is serious,
responsibility, it all falls
apart, I’m on my own, broken and
unloved. He seems so far away
from being able to be a father -
barely capable of taking care of
himself. I don’t want to be
alone, raise children alone, I
would like to have someone
besides me, take care of us.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 25.

THE WOMAN (cont’d)

Otherwise I can’t be a...
mother... But dreams get broken.
Why should I keep trying to make
things work with all this pain
and no guarantee it will ever be
better?
MARY
I didn’t dream myself like this,
you know... I am not married and
I am pregnant. I could get killed
for that. God protects me, and
Joseph as well. He can’t protect
me from the rest of the hating
world, but he loves us, and
that’s fine... You know, it is
such a great joy to be able to
give life! God’s life in my own
womb. Each child is taken cared
of by God himself. Rather like
you... (she smiles)
THE WOMAN
You speak the truth. But I can’t
find the strength to accept it as
given...

MARY
What if from all this would
result a child... a newborn child
that would love?
(she said the last words
with great enthusiasm and
joy)
This is what you want, isn’t it?
To give love a shape in the
world?

The two women look at each other. The woman’s distractions

all fade away at the idea of this child that loves. Fear
and pain gone like memories, though she did not know what
this means...
THE WOMAN
Our relationship could result in
a child that loves?...
(her eyes shining)
JESUS
Yes, a child through which God
can love!
She did not realize when the change had happened and it
was Jesus talking to her now, nor why, but he was there
and it was like her heart’s deepest desire was given a
chance. An unusual chance, but a wonderful one. Yes, she

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 26.

would love that. She would give anything to know she can
do that. All resistance in her was wiped down by this
simple idea. Any child loves, nothing really special about
the idea. As such any child is God’s action. She knew
that. But to hear it that way made her heart melt, and joy
and hope filled her. An offer that could never be refused.
An offer that wiped away all fear and pain.
THE WOMAN
I would be glad to take all
hardships of this relationship,
no matter how it goes, if it
would give birth to a child that
loves. A child through which God
loves.

She knew it was not necessarily a promise and it could

mean a dozen things, but she found the desire to go on
with it wholeheartedly:
THE WOMAN
You prepared a future and hope
for us. I trust in you. To love
is the most important thing in
the world, and I am not able to
love truly in a complete way, but
I would like to contribute to
love, with this small piece I can
give, according to your plan for
us. Thank you!
Jesus smiles at her and then departs. She remains in the
beautiful light of the sun, eyes closed, and extreme
happiness on her face. Light turns dim and scarlet.
As she watches the sunset, in parallel we see parts of the
colloquium meeting explaining this, or voice over while we
see her in the orange light:

IN THE COLLOQUIUM ROOM

THE WOMAN
Today I found something to help
me go on in my relationship with
him. To accept it as is and
continue gladly.
KAREN
What was it?

THE WOMAN
The idea of... a child... a child
that... loves...
(she hesitates, and realizes
again that is more difficult
than she thought to say out
loud and put into words)
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 27.

THE WOMAN (cont’d)

I know it’s nothing special, but
made it sound like that... if
from our relationship there
was...
(again hesitation, it’s so
deep form her heart now, she
feels like exposing her
utmost sensitivity to
cannibal words, she is
anxious, blushes and a wave
of sweat is felt)
a child... it’s something that
makes me go with it... accept it
as is.

It took her ages to say that, she’s exhausted and feels

stupid about this idea, an idea that makes the whole world
for her, she doesn’t know why, because it came from
nowhere, but she doesn’t know how to explain it to be more
logical than emotional. She stands in front of Karen
unable to continue, too emotional and exposed and feeling
stupid, looking at her hands and at Karen, helpless in
front of her paralysis of speaking her heart - the effort
to reach this was more than she could do. After a long
silence:

THE WOMAN
I think I found also something
about my personal vocation...
What you said a few days ago.
KAREN
Good... What is it?
THE WOMAN
It’s faithfulness. It is what I
have received from God and what I
can give further... A fidelity
that perseveres through
hardships, and does not give up
on people.
KAREN
That is very beautiful!
THE WOMAN
I’m not sure if that’s something
general, but this is what came up
now, these days.

KAREN
Thank God for this gift.
THE WOMAN
I am very grateful for it
indeed...

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 28.

(after a short pause)

KAREN
Have you written your Magnificat?

THE WOMAN
Yes, I did. It was lovely to
write it...
KAREN
Being grateful and praising God
for the works he does in our
lives transforms us. Makes us
available and aware of the beauty
and grace we receive. Otherwise,
we might just pass by it and not
notice it. It is us more than God
that need to realize the good in
our lives and be grateful for it.
The woman nods and the two look at each other. The woman
does not feel like saying anything else, not does Karen
ask for more.
BACK ON THE GROUNDS
Sunset again. All of the people gathered again to watch.
This one is the most beautiful of all. Each day different
it was. Clouds make it colorful.
The woman has almost finished a painting of a woman
carrying a baby so as to take him somewhere safe. Warm
colors, like the sunset, and the woman is in motion
holding the baby and looking forward, her back bent with
the weight. There’s tenderness in it. The baby sleeps, no
care in the whole world. It is both the feminity of God
carrying each of us with gentleness and protection, and
the woman painting it who wishes to protect love and
vulnerability in herself, and in the world. For motherhood
is also a gift from God, we must receive it before we
manifest it.
VOICE OVER (THE WOMAN’S)
My soul praises the Lord for
loving me as I am.

My spirit rejoices immensely for

the precious words he chose to
take me for his wife forever; to
take me for his wife in
righteousness and in justice, in
steadfast love, and in mercy. To
take me for his wife in
faithfulness; and I shall know
the Lord.
My body will bring him thanks by
showing openness to give birth to
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 29.

VOICE OVER (THE WOMAN’S) (cont’d)

a child, from his great gift, a
child that loves.

How can I thank him for this

favor of speaking to my heart
about his wonderful plan I can be
part of with all I am? I would
have never dared if it weren’t
for you to call me, and seal this
call forever.
And I wrote it so all can see the
happiness you bring to a weak
woman as I am, and praise you for
your great mercy and love.

FOCUS ON THE PAINTING, THEN ON THE FACE OF THE WOMAN IN

THE PAINTING
27 INT. CORRIDOR TOWARDS THE CHIMNEY ROOM - DAY 5 27

The face transforms into another woman’s face, from an

icon showing a group of women who followed Jesus from
Galilee. It’s called Myrrhbearing Women, showing 7
figures, one of them stands out in the centre.

VOICE OVER
"Afterward he was traveling from
one town and village to another,
preaching and telling the good
news of the kingdom of God. The
Twelve were with him, and also
some women who had been healed of
evil spirits and sicknesses:
Mary, called Magdalene (seven
demons had come out of her);
Joanna the wife of Chuza, Herod’s
steward; Susanna; and many others
who were supporting them from
their possessions."
The woman looks at it, and says her mind:
THE WOMAN (VOICE OVER)
The only icon that shows them as
a distinct group is actually
about them going to the tomb. We
don’t know much. Where were they
in Jerusalem? They surely
traveled with Jesus to get there.
Where were the women during his
last supper with the
disciples?... Were they there
when Jesus washed their feet and
told them the last words, his
testament to love one another
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 30.

THE WOMAN (VOICE OVER) (cont’d)

like he loved us?... Perhaps they
were nearby... perhaps serving in
the room...

We see along with her voice indistinguished silhouettes of

people gathered at a table, and a clear foot gently washed
by one hand and held by another. Then a vivid feminine
silhouette passing by and kneeling to pray, receiving a
blessing - a hand on her head.

THE WOMAN (VOICE OVER)

Where were the women when Jesus
went to pray with the disciples
in the garden of Gethsemane?...
We surely know they were present
when Jesus was carrying his
cross, until his death... And the
women were the first to see him
risen, as they dared go to the
tomb.
We see a group of women and one of their faces, following
Jesus as he carries the cross. Then the scene changes and
we see Jesus looking at Mary Magdalene crying neat the
tomb.
MARY MAGDALENE
Tell me where you put him and
I’ll go and take him!
Jesus looks at her. She did not notice through tears.
THE WOMAN(VOICE OVER)
Exegeses made by men for
centuries, no one was ever truly
interested in how do these women
fit into the story. And why would
they be interested? They are my
story, not theirs...

Back to the image of the Myrrhbearing Women.

THE WOMAN (VOICE OVER)
Only a woman would ask the
question - like a slave who longs
to know how to follow the true
Lord in the new found freedom...
Mary Magdalene appears back in the scene near the tomb,
slowly looking towards the man in front of her.

THE WOMAN (VOICE OVER)

I fear, like the women who went
to the tomb, I fear the hatred of
men and the strength of the
guard. But I will go, for the one
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 31.

THE WOMAN (VOICE OVER) (cont’d)

who died for me, I will go and
search the tomb for life, for the
life of women following him. They
will teach me how to follow Jesus
myself.
Jesus is touched by the fidelity and courage of this
woman. What a beautiful creature, he praises the Father. A
white ball dahlia in bloom is close to her.

JESUS
Mary!
He speaks her name, and she knows it’s him. But Mary
Magdalene changes into the woman and Jesus calls her for
the first time by her name.
JESUS
Dahila!

Her heart overflows, her name sounds like a seal, like a

calling and a naming for a creature made so she can
glorify God. Dahila is in bloom, in front of Jesus’s
tomb...
Back to the image of the Myrrhbearing Women.

She looks again, smiles and slowly goes away. On her way,
she spreads her arm to touch the leaves that make the
swishing sound and she remembers him, perhaps one day her
fiance, then Mary and the child that loves and joy fills
her hear.

She goes to the colloquium room which is now empty and

places on the desk a red rose and an envelope For Karen,
then she quietly leaves before no one sees her - she feels
too shy to give that in person or be seen by someone
leaving the rose there.

She walks forward down the corridor towards the chimney

room and checks if the coast is clear. Enters and leaves
on the table where a candle stood lit two days ago, she
leaves there a poem of gratitude for the priest, by whose
hands and feet all graces come from God through Christ on
all humans alike. She could not yet meet his eyes.
She goes to her room, takes a last look from the window
and starts packing.

28 INT. CHAPEL OF THE SPIRITUAL CENTRE 28

We are again during the sermon of the last mass from the
retreat. Bright faces, relaxed and joyful, are ready to
carry out their enthusiasm at home.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 32.

THE PRIEST
These days you have experienced a
personal encounter with God, that
I am sure had a transformative
effect on you. However, I must
advise you that the current
enthusiasm may be treacherous, in
the sense that you may feel like
you can do anything and have
plans to live on roots and walk
barefoot preaching in towns, but
when winter comes you’ll get cold
feet and give up.
(a small laugh at the idea)
Let things settle down. This is a
moment of grace to sustain you in
your everyday life you now return
to.
We see the woman and a man sitting near her, the same man
as the one from her memories. They hold hands at some
point. We walk through the people in the chapel and look
at the faces, bright faces, showing gratitude, joy,
freedom. No tension left, no strain. Just peace and love.