Absg Q2 2019 PDF

Contents
1 The Rhythms of Life—March 30–April 5 6
2 The Choices We Make—April 6–12 14
3 Preparing for Change—April 13–19 22
4 When Alone—April 20–26 30
5 Wise Words for Families—April 27–May 3 38
6 The Royal Love Song—May 4–10 46
7 Keys to Family Unity—May 11–17 56
8 Season of Parenting—May 18–24 64
9 Times of Loss—May 25–31 72
10 Little Times of Trouble—June 1–7 80
11 Families of Faith—June 8–14 88
12 What Have They Seen in Your House?—June 15–21 96
13 Turning Hearts in the End Time—June 22–28 104
Editorial Office 12501 Old Columbia Pike, Silver Spring, MD 20904

Come visit us at our Web site: http://www.absg.adventist.org
Principal Contributors Editorial Assistant

Claudio and Pamela Consuegra Sharon Thomas-Crews
Editor Pacific Press ® Coordinator
Clifford R. Goldstein Wendy Marcum
Associate Editor Art Director and Illustrator
Soraya Homayouni Lars Justinen
Publication Manager Design
Lea Alexander Greve Justinen Creative Group
© 2019 General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists®. All rights reserved. No part of the Adult
Sabbath School Bible Study Guide may be edited, altered, modified, adapted, translated, re-
produced, or published by any person or entity without prior written authorization from the Gen-
eral Conference of Seventh-day Adventists®. The division offices of the General Conference of
Seventh-day Adventists® are authorized to arrange for translation of the Adult Sabbath School
Bible Study Guide, under specific guidelines. Copyright of such translations and their publication
shall remain with the General Conference. “Seventh-day Adventist,” “Adventist,” and the flame
logo are registered trademarks of the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists® and may
not be used without prior authorization from the General Conference.
1
The
Seasons
of Life
T he sixth day of Creation had come to an end. During the first five days,
the world had been transformed from chaos into a thing of perfect
beauty. Darkness was replaced by light. The waters were pushed back
as God commanded them. “ ‘ “This far you may come, but no farther, and here your
proud waves must stop!” ’ ” (Job 38:11, NKJV). The dry land sprouted into a canvas
of colors and fragrances. Birds of all kinds and varieties flew about while fish and sea
mammals swam and splashed in their aquatic home. Land animals of all types and
species ran, jumped, or hung from tree limbs, depending on how the Creator had
created them. Then, finally, humans were made, in God’s own image, unique beings
in all the earthly Creation.
As God prepared for the first seventh-day Sabbath on earth, He looked on Creation and
declared it all “very good” (Gen. 1:31).
If only that were the end of the story—a perfect world, with perfect people, existing
forever. Just think: Adam and Eve have many children, and then grandchildren, and
great-grandchildren, whom they watch grow for an endless number of generations, each
one bringing even more joy to the first couple, and to God, as well. It’s a scenario that
we—existing in, and knowing only, a fallen world—can barely imagine.
And that’s because our imaginations have been formed in a world radically different from
the one God had first created. How different are the two worlds, the world before sin and
the world after? Here’s one example. As Adam and Eve, wrote Ellen White, “witnessed in
2
drooping flower and falling leaf the first signs of decay, Adam and his companion mourned
more deeply than men now mourn over their dead. The death of the frail, delicate flow-
ers was indeed a cause of sorrow; but when the goodly trees cast off their leaves, the scene
brought vividly to mind the stern fact that death is the portion of every living thing.”
—Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 62. We don’t have that reaction to a falling leaf because,
having lived only in a world of sin, we have come to take
death and suffering as inevitable parts of the cycles of life.
And that’s what this quarter’s lesson is about: the cycles All through the Bible,
of life, at least for us now, in this fallen world. And we are in one way or another,
going to look at these cycles in the one place most of us
families help form the
cycle through them, and that is within the framework of
family. framework of events that
Humans were created, in Eden, in the context of family: unfold.
first a husband and wife, and then children, who had
more children, and thus, we have the history of our world
even to the present day. Indeed, many of the earliest Bible
stories, from Adam and Eve, the patriarchs, the Davidic dynasty, all unfolded within the
context of family and family relationships. All through the Bible, in one way or another,
families help form the framework of events that unfold. Which isn’t surprising because,
again, as we cycle through these seasons of life, we, too, do so to one degree or another
against the backdrop of family.
Despite all the forces working against the family, both today and in the past (for instance,
the practice of polygamy in biblical times hardly added to family stability), and despite
attempts to redefine exactly what a family is, the concept of a family endures. And it should.
It’s where we get started, and it is often the greatest force for good or evil in shaping our lives
and how we respond to challenges we face as we cycle through the stages of life.
And, just as each individual is different, each family is, as well. Hence, this quarter’s les-
sons point to principles, based on Scripture, that (it’s our hope and prayer) can help make
for stronger families at every stage of life.
Claudio and Pamela Consuegra serve as the Family Ministries directors for the North
American Division. They have served the church in various capacities for more than 30
years.
3
19-2-ABS
United by
Mission
Juliana Sant os Abigail Dar richón Quinter os

Fer reira
ndez
Ezekiel Fer na
W hat do a 12-year-old girl in Brazil, a missionary baby whose

parents work in a closed country, and a 3-year-old girl
in Argentina have in common? They are united by mission in
the South American Division, which will receive this quarter’s
Thirteen Sabbath Offering.
Read more in the Youth and Adult Mission Quarterly
(bit.ly/adultmission) and the Children’s Mission Quarterly
(bit.ly/childrensmission).
Thank you for
supporting Adventist
Mission with your prayers
and Sabbath School
mission offerings.
19-2-ABSG Ad1.indd 1 5/29/18 4:16 PM

L esson 1 *March 30—April 5
(page 6 of Standard Edition)
The Rhythms of Life
Sabbath Afternoon
Read for This Week’s Study: Genesis 1, Gen. 8:22, Ps. 90:10,
Job 1:13–19, Acts 9:1–22, Phil. 1:6, Rom. 8:1.
Memory Text: “To everything there is a season, a time for every

purpose under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, NKJV).
S
ome of the most beautiful poetry ever penned came from King
Solomon: “To everything there is a season, a time for every pur-
pose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to
plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time
to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep,
and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast
away stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace, and a time
to refrain from embracing; a time to gain, and a time to lose; a time to
keep, and a time to throw away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time
to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace” (Eccles. 3:1–8, NKJV).
Those words capture so much of human existence—the seasons, the
rhythms of our lives. Yes, our lives go through stages, through changes,
and they do so from the moment we are born. Sometimes the changes
are good, sometimes not; sometimes we have control over them; some-
times not. This week let’s look at the seasons and rhythms of our lives,
especially as they impact us and our families, too.
* Study this week’s lesson to prepare for Sabbath, April 6.
5
S unday March 31
In the Beginning
The Bible begins at the beginning, which is no doubt why it begins with
the words (actually one word in the Hebrew) “In the beginning . . .” (Gen.
1:1). The particular focus of the chapter, of course, is the transformation
of the earth from a state of being “without form, and void” (Gen. 1:2) to
the world that God Himself, on the sixth day, declared “very good” (Gen.
1:31). In short, the beginning here is the beginning of our world.
Read Genesis 1. Though so much is going on, ask yourself the ques-
tion: Is there any hint of randomness or chance, or is everything
done in a very orderly manner, with everything in its proper time
and place? What does your answer say about the character of God?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Ellen G. White wrote that “order is Heaven’s first law” (Signs of the
Times, June 8, 1908); apparently it is on earth, as well. Though sin
has disrupted the natural world, to some degree, order, rhythm, and
regularity still exist.
Read Genesis 8:22. How is order seen here, as well?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Even after the Fall, the seasons come and go in an orderly fashion—
generally. Hence, along with the lights in the sky (i.e., the sun and
moon, which are to “ ‘divide the day from the night . . . for signs and
seasons, and for days and years’ ” [Gen. 1:14, NKJV]), there are the
seasons, as well, all part of the natural rhythm of the world that God
has created. And, though we get only glimpses now, a verse such as
Isaiah 66:23 implies that in the new heavens and new earth the sense of
rhythm will, indeed, exist then, too.
Think about how the Sabbath, in a powerfully regular way,

impacts your life, especially your family life, whatever it is. What
are the distinct advantages, not just of the Sabbath, but in the fact
that it does come with such regularity?
6
M onday April 1
The Rhythms of Life

Scientists talk about something called circadian rhythms, the idea
that there are biological rhythms (sometimes called “body clocks”)
that regulate function in our bodies. In other words, a certain degree
of regularity exists even within our bodies themselves. Hence, to some
degree, rhythms exist all around and even in us.
What are the predictable seasons of life mentioned in the following

passages of Scripture, and how do they directly tie into family life?
Eccles. 3:2
Gen. 21:8, Judg. 13:24
Ps. 71:5, Prov. 5:18
Gen. 15:15, Judg. 8:32
Ps. 90:10
Between the two bookends of life, birth and death, we all go through a
variety of seasons, different for each individual. Some children don’t live
long after their birth; others grow into adults who live to a ripe old age.
Children grow and develop at their own rate. Some walk or talk sooner
than others. Some will be able to attend school and grow up to be profes-
sionals, while others will devote their time to other forms of work. Some
will have families, and others may never marry or have children.
There are billions of people on earth, and though we all have much
in common (see Acts 17:26), each one of us is an individual, and thus,
differences will exist in each one of our lives.
In a sense, too, these differences are important because they make
each one of us unique, which means each one of us has something to
share that others don’t have. In short, our differences allow us to be a
blessing to others. For instance, both young and old can benefit from
what each offers the other: “The glory of young men is their strength,
and the splendor of old men is their gray head” (Prov. 20:29, NKJV).
Whatever stage we are in, and no matter our differences, we all have
something to offer, not just to the Lord but to each other, as well.
Whatever your life circumstances happen to be right now, what

can you do to be a blessing to someone else? Why not make a
conscious effort to be that blessing, especially to someone in your
family?
_____________________________________________________
7
T uesday April 2
The Unexpected
Read Job 1:13–19, 2:7–9. What happened to Job? In what ways does
his experience reflect what happens to everyone, in one way or
another, or at one time or another?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
The Greek philosopher Heraclitus declared that “there is nothing
permanent except change.” Just when it seems that everything is going
fine, the unexpected happens. It may be the loss of a job or a limb,
an illness that sends us to bed or to an early death, a house fire, a car
accident, a fall while walking the family pet.
Of course, not all changes have to be negative. Maybe a promotion at
work leads to better economic conditions. Or perhaps you meet some-
one who will become your spouse, a change that many would welcome.
Either way, we can be going along, even in a routine, a rhythm, when,
instantly and unexpectedly, it’s all disrupted.
Job was certainly not expecting the new season in his life. The Bible
describes him as a man who was “blameless and upright, and one who
feared God and shunned evil” (Job 1:1, NKJV). Also, we know that
he was married, had seven sons and three daughters, and was very
wealthy (Job 1:2, 3). By the time we reach the middle of the book, he
has suffered at least six major losses: his property, his labor force, his
children, his health, the support of his wife, and the encouragement of
his friends. His world has been turned upside down and his family life
devastated.
Though what happened to Job was quite extreme, who among us
hasn’t experienced the unexpected in a very negative way? Life can be
going along just fine when, suddenly and without warning, everything
completely changes, and our lives—and our family’s lives—might
never be the same again.
This is nothing new. Abel probably didn’t expect to be murdered,
and Joseph didn’t exactly expect to be sold into slavery in Egypt. In
both stories, family members were the betrayers, and in both stories the
families were greatly impacted by what happened to the other mem-
bers. Scripture is full of examples of people whose lives, and families,
were greatly transformed by the unexpected.
How has your faith helped you amid the trials that unexpectedly
interrupted the rhythms of your life?
8
W ednesday April 3
Transitions
The fact is that human beings are often creatures of habit. And we
do, indeed, get set in our ways, and the older we get, the harder it is to
change those ways.
Indeed, we don’t change easily. How many wives have complained
over the years, “I’ve tried to change my husband, but . . .”?
However, God is in the business of changing us, if not so much our
personalities, certainly our characters. That’s so much of what the plan
of salvation is about: God making us into new people in Him.
What great change happened to Saul of Tarsus, and how did it hap-
pen? Acts 8:1, 3; 9:1–22; Gal. 1:15–17.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
“As Saul yielded himself fully to the convicting power of the Holy
Spirit, he saw the mistakes of his life and recognized the far-reaching
claims of the law of God. He who had been a proud Pharisee, confident
that he was justified by his good works, now bowed before God with
the humility and simplicity of a little child, confessing his own unwor-
thiness and pleading the merits of a crucified and risen Saviour. Saul
longed to come into full harmony and communion with the Father and
the Son; and in the intensity of his desire for pardon and acceptance he
offered up fervent supplications. . . .
“The prayers of the penitent Pharisee were not in vain. The inmost
thoughts and emotions of his heart were transformed by divine grace;
and his nobler faculties were brought into harmony with the eternal pur-
poses of God. Christ and His righteousness became to Saul more than the
whole world.”—Ellen G. White, The Acts of the Apostles, pp. 119, 120.
Even if our own conversion stories are nowhere near as dramatic as
Saul’s, we should all have our story, an experience of how the Lord has
worked in our lives to change us, to make us into the kind of people we
know we should be. Yes, the process can be long, and at times it’s easy
to wonder if we are ever going to change. At times like these, two Bible
texts are so crucial to meditate on and to claim for oneself.
Read Philippians 1:6 and Romans 8:1. What two great promises
are found in those texts, and how do they fit together in the expe-
rience of a Christian?
_____________________________________________________
9
T hursday April 4
Interactions
The Bible is a book of relationships. God created us to be in relation-
ship with others. Indeed, very few of us live in complete isolation. For
starters, none of us could even come into existence but for others. Even
after birth, we need others to take care of us, at least until a certain age
when, in principle at least, we could exist on our own. And even if we
could, who would want to? Most of us need and crave the company and
companionship of other human beings. Though pets, such as dogs, can be
delightful companions, in the end the deepest and most meaningful and
life-changing interactions come through other people. No wonder, then,
that the family, and family relationships, are so crucial to our existence.
Because most of us do interact, often all the time, with others, these
interactions can and often do impact the changes and rhythms of our
lives. They work two ways, though: others, in their interactions with us,
impact our lives. We, meanwhile, in our interactions with others can
impact their lives. And whether we realize it or not (and many times
we don’t), those interactions, in either direction, can be either for good
or for evil. How crucial then for us to be proactive at all times, so that
our inevitable influence on others is always for the good, especially
on those with whom we are closest, which are usually our own family
members.
Read the following texts. What do they tell us to do in our interactions

with others? Rom. 15:7; Eph. 4:2, 32; 1 Thess. 3:12; James 5:16.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
In many ways, the principle is simple. If we act nicely, kindly, and
compassionately toward others, we will be a positive influence upon
them, even to the point where we could change their lives in a very
positive way. Just as Jesus changes people’s lives in a very positive
manner, what a privilege for us to do something similar for others, as
well. Again, we must remember: our influence is going to be either for
good or for evil, even in subtle ways. And nowhere is this influence,
subtle or not, more pronounced than in our families.
Look at the two following statements of Jesus: Luke 11:34 and

Mark 4:24, 25. What are they saying about the importance of
how we interact with others?
_____________________________________________________
10
F riday April 5
Further Thought: Imagine the changes that occurred in the life of

Christ’s disciples as they spent time with Him. They were mostly unedu-
cated, simple people, accustomed to the teachings and traditions of their
Jewish faith, but now they were being challenged by the Galilean Rabbi.
They experienced jealousy (Matt. 20:20–24) and conflict (John 3:25); they
seemed to lack faith (Mark 9:28, 29), and they even abandoned (Matt. 26:56)
and betrayed Jesus (Matt. 26:69–74). At the same time, they were growing
spiritually so that people recognized Peter had been with Jesus (Matt. 26:73),
and even the members of the Sanhedrin marveled when they perceived that
Peter and John were “uneducated and untrained men. . . . They realized that
they had been with Jesus” (Acts 4:13, NKJV).
Think, too, about the incredibly positive impact we could have in
our families if we lived in such a way that when other members of our
family see us, they know that we have “been with Jesus.”
What do these words from Ellen G. White have to say about influ-
ences in the home? “The home may be plain, but it can always be a
place where cheerful words are spoken and kindly deeds are done,
where courtesy and love are abiding guests.”—The Adventist Home,
p. 18.
Discussion Questions:
 Read Ecclesiastes 3:1–8. What are these verses saying, and how
can you apply the principle there to your own life and experiences?
 In class, talk about some of the life-changing experiences that

you have been through, and talk about the lessons you learned and,
if applicable, the lessons you should have learned. What did you
learn from the lessons that you didn’t know? Also, talk about how
these life-changing experiences impacted your family. What lessons
did you learn in these situations, too?
 What are the ways you live today that, were it not for Christ
in your life, would be radically different from what they are now?
What should that tell you about the power of Christ to change us?
11
i n s i d e
Story
Missionary’s Joy Journal
By Andrew McChesney, Adventist Mission
The year couldn’t have gone worse for Elisa Albertsen, a native of
Palmer, Alaska, who quit a promising career as a hairdresser to volunteer
at a mission school in the Marshall Islands.
Just three months into the school year, she had to be airlifted back to the
United States after dislocating a kneecap while playing soccer at Ebeye
Seventh-day Adventist School.
After four months in the United States, Albertsen was still recovering
and realized that she would have to break her promise to her students to
return before the end of the school year.
Then she and her longtime boyfriend broke up.
Disappointed and discouraged, Albertsen decided to take a 40-day fast
from secular music, books, and movies and to immerse herself in the Bible
and the writings of Adventist Church cofounder Ellen G. White. It was
then that she started a joy journal.
“I wanted to count 1,000 gifts God gave me,” she said.
The daily entries in the joy journal began with simple things. Albertsen
wrote that she was grateful for clean water and the sunlight shining
through the window. As she continued to write, she remembered the words
of the apostle Paul, “Rejoice always” (1 Thessalonians 5:16, NKJV).
When she discovered ants swarming over the food in her dog’s bowl, she
thought, This is so frustrating. I hate ants! Then she remembered the joy
journal and, peering closely at the busy ants, marveled at their persever-
ance, teamwork, and ability to carry a load many times their size.
In her joy journal, she wrote, “I thank God for ants. Through God, we
can accomplish things that are much bigger than us.”
Albertsen also found joy in other negative circumstances. When some-
one criticized her, she wrote, “Thank You for that critical word because it
puts me on track to improve and draw closer to You.”
She thanked God for her dislocated kneecap, realizing He strengthened
her mentally and physically through the injury.
Albertsen is now 21 and back at Ebeye as a second-grade teacher. She
pulled out the joy journal after catching a flu
going around the island.
“When I lost my voice, I said, ‘Praise God
because now I can hear my children better,’ ”
she said.
Part of the second quarter 2018 Thirteenth Sabbath
Offering helped the Ebeye Seventh-day Adventist
School carry out repairs on crumbling classrooms.
Thank you for your mission offering.
Provided by the General Conference Office of Adventist Mission, which uses Sabbath School
12 mission offerings to spread the gospel worldwide. Read new stories daily at AdventistMission.org.
teachers comments
Part I: Overview
To live is to experience change. From the beginning, God’s perfect
Creation included cycles and seasons (Gen. 1:14, 2:3). The weekly Edenic
cycle that culminated in a seventh-day Sabbath thankfully punctured
through to the post-Fall era and apparently will continue indefinitely in the
new earth (Isa. 66:23). Even after sin, our lives continue to flow accord-
ing to cycles of all kinds: environmental, biological, relational, familial,
emotional, and even political (Eccles. 3:1–8). God knew that a static life
would be so banal as to be unbearable, so He ordained rhythm and change
to be integral to His creative order.
Changes can be unexpected or anticipated, positive or negative. They
elicit from us a spectrum of responses that range from joy to sorrow and
everything in between. This lesson explores how individuals are suscep-
tible to life’s phases, especially in the context of families.
Job’s life illustrates radical and unexpected change. Joseph’s life falls
into the same category. Though their respective families were significantly
transformed in tragic ways, the end of Job’s and Joseph’s stories displayed
a God of redemption and restoration. Narratives such as these offer us
hope in God’s providence and inspire us to remain faithful through phases
of difficulty.
Our relationships and the specific kinds of interactions they engender
also play a key role in our lives. Consider the immeasurable influence
parents have on children. The course of our lives is often set, whether for
good or for bad, by those first family relationships. If our early family life
has been less than ideal, healthy relationships can help undo past negative
influences. Meeting Jesus later in life can revolutionize a life to the point
that a person is called a “new creation” (2 Cor. 5:17, ESV).
From all this reflection, a quasi law of influences emerges that states
that all interactions we have with others can be for good or for evil. This
realization should cause us a measure of pause before we impulsively or
flippantly engage family, friends, or strangers. We are making a difference
in their lives whether we are aware of it or not.
Part II: Commentary
Illustration
Being around young children, one quickly realizes the difficulty of com-
municating time intervals. My wife and I faced this challenge raising all
three of our daughters. How do you answer such questions as “How long
13
teachers comments
till my next birthday?” or “When can we go to the park again?” when time
intervals are not fully grasped? I’d answer my youngest, “We’ll come back
in a week,” and she’d say, “How long is that?” We soon discovered that
“Sabbaths” were the answer to our dilemma.
Cyclic Sabbaths in our home were filled with a sundown Sabbath
candle ceremony, Sabbath School, church, potluck, and friends. This
created a memorable time reference for our children so that we would
answer time questions in Sabbath units (e.g., “We’ll be at Grandma’s in
three Sabbaths”). This worked like a charm. In addition, I was pleasantly
surprised that our family Sabbath “trick” was embedded into the language
of biblical Greek.
Not too commonly known is that the Greek sabbato- n in the New
Testament refers not only to the seventh-day Sabbath but also can denote a
week (Matt. 28:1, Luke 18:12). In fact, there is no Greek word for “week”
in the New Testament other than sabbato- n. I admit I was rather excited
that our family’s substitute of “Sabbath” for “week” was biblical!
God’s weekly Sabbath turned out to be our children’s first clock. The
Sabbath is more than just another day that pops up every week. It is a
spiritual reference point in time by which to calibrate the rest of our lives.
As an important side note, there is at least one translation of the Bible
(A. E. Knoch’s Concordant Version), and a few Christian ministries, that
do not recognize sabbato- n as referring to the week. This practice may
seem inconsequential at first, but it leads to a textual argument for calling
“Sunday” a “Sabbath.” In keeping with this line of thinking, Matthew 28:1,
consequently, uses the expression “one of the Sabbaths.” Thus, the first
day of the week, Sunday, is called a sabbath. Only context can determine
whether “Sabbath” or “week” is intended. Thankfully, just about every
recognized English translation renders sabbato- n correctly as “week” in
Matthew 28.
For those grammatically inclined, the phrase in question, in Matthew
28, literally reads mian (first) sabbato- n. But there is no gender agreement
between mian, which is feminine, and sabbato- n, which is neuter; there-
fore, “first” cannot modify sabbato- n but instead modifies the assumed
feminine noun hemera (day). This syntactical construction is similar to our
saying, “I’ll see you on the fourth.” The word “day” is assumed. Therefore,
reading the text as “the first day of the week,” as opposed to the awkward
and ungrammatical “the first day of the sabbaths,” is clearly the accurate
translation.
Theological Insight
It has been observed that the way the Sabbath cycle originally began
illustrates an interesting key principle of the gospel and of the character
14
teachers comments
of God. Usually, we think of the Sabbath as the end point to a long busy
week and, thereby, reinforce a work-rest cycle in our own thinking. The
Sabbath commandment certainly is framed as such (Exod. 20:9, 10).
However, from an Edenic perspective, the cycle is reversed. It is true that
God worked all week and then rested, but humankind was not created
until the sixth day (Gen. 1:27, 31). Basically, within hours of being cre-
ated, Adam and Eve entered into the Sabbath. Their first full day was a
Sabbath day of rest. For them, the Sabbath was hardly a rest from a long
arduous workweek. Their work didn’t begin until after they had rested,
and therefore a rest-work cycle is a more nuanced representation of the
Sabbath cycle. God worked during Creation week, and humans rested in
His works . . . and afterward, they went about their own work (Gen. 2:15).
The theological parallels are plain. God accomplished the works of
salvation through the saving life, death, and resurrection of Christ; we rest
from any of our own “works” in honor of Christ’s saving achievements
(Heb. 4:9–11). Once that salvific rest is fully experienced and embraced,
our own works of loving and gracious obedience can follow. How wise of
the Creator to weave an analogy of the plan of salvation into the fabric of
time through a weekly Sabbath.
Reflection
The lesson brings out two broad themes titled “The Unexpected” and
“Interactions.” A fruitful discussion for the class may be to ask: What
“interactions” in Joseph’s family create an environment in which the
brothers’ behavior is actually not that “unexpected”? The concept of
parental favoritism emerges as a generational problem, or cycle, among
the patriarchs—one that had devastating family consequences. “Now
Israel loved Joseph.” We wish the text would have ended there, but sadly it
continues, “more than all his children” (Gen. 37:3). We wish the brothers
were ignorant of their father’s favoritism, but they weren’t: “And when his
brethren saw that their father loved him [Joseph] more than all his breth-
ren, they hated him” (Gen. 37:4). Jacob was most likely influenced by the
favoritism he received from his mother and saw in his father toward Esau
(Gen. 25:28).
All the pain, jealousy, and guilt created by this family’s dysfunctional
dynamics stand as a continual rebuke of family favoritism. If Jacob
would have identified and broken with the partiality displayed in his own
upbringing, he possibly could have spared his own family such tragedy.
God, in contrast, is the quintessential Father who “shows no partiality”
(Rom. 2:11, ESV). Even though Jacob’s family was a mess in many
respects, this same Father God was able to bring about one of the most
15
teachers comments
miraculous and enduring stories of triumph. There is hope for us yet and for
our families.
Part III: Life Application
It is easy to think that the way things are now is the way they will be in the
future. Job and Joseph woke up on their fateful mornings just as they had
every other day. But everything changed in a moment, as it can with us. Being
prepared can determine whether life’s changes work for our good and spiri-
tual maturity or whether they crush us and throw us into a spiritual tailspin.
So ask your Sabbath School class what we can do in the present to respond
in a godly way to inevitable change. Here are some ideas linked to the lesson:
1. Get into a rhythm. This expression is used when something becomes

so familiar and regular that we do it without thinking. Job prayed
the moment his life changed forever. No doubt Joseph did too. The
rhythms of life can become manageable when we’ve already adopted
a rhythm of prayer with God.
2. Sabbath renewal is never far away. Just as prayer is untouchable by

outside forces (you can pray in a prison), the Sabbath can never be
taken from you. The Sabbath is secure behind the unassailable bars of
time. You can be sure of a rendezvous of rest with Jesus every Sabbath
day no matter if the world is imploding all around you; that is, you
can have this assurance if you have gotten in the habit of spending the
Sabbath with Jesus now.
16
teachers comments
3. Be the transitional character that Jacob wasn’t. We often take the

family baggage we received from our parents and unintentionally
pass it right along to our own children. Instead, with God’s wisdom
and transforming power, we can be what family therapists call a
transitional character—“one who, in a single generation, changes
the entire course of a lineage. The individuals who grow up in an
abusive, emotionally destructive environment and who somehow
find ways to metabolize the poison and not pass it on to their
children. They break the mold.”—Randal D. Day, Introduction to
Family Processes (New York: Routledge Taylor and Francis Group,
2010), p. 116.
4. Learn your Bible stories. It may seem simplistic, but it is still too
easy to think that our lives should somehow go more smoothly
than the lives of the patriarchs, prophets, and disciples (and the
life of Jesus, for that matter). The more time we spend in the
Bible, the more our perspective will change and the less we will
think some “strange thing” is happening to us in times of difficult
change (1 Pet. 4:12).
17
L esson 2 *April 6–12
The Choices We Make
Sabbath Afternoon
Read for This Week’s Study: Eph. 1:1–4; Matt. 22:35–37;
7:24, 25; Prov. 18:24; 1 Cor. 15:33; Eccles. 2:1–11.
Memory Text: “And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose
for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which
your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the
gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my
house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15, NKJV).
E
ver notice that life is full of choices? In fact, one could argue that
in many ways, what we do all day, from the moment we get up
until we go to bed, is make choices. We make so many choices
that often we don’t even think about them. We just make them.
Some choices are simple and even become routine, while others are
life-changing and have eternal consequences, not only for us but even
for our own families.
Hence, how crucial that we think through our choices, especially the
big ones, the ones that can impact us and our families for the rest of not
only our own lives but our family members’ lives, as well.
How many of us, to this day, regret choices we have made? How
many, to this day, live with the wreckage from wrong choices made
long ago? Fortunately, there is forgiveness. There is redemption, and
there is healing, even for the worst of decisions.
This week, we will look in a very broad way at the question of the
choices we make, how we should make them, and what impact these
choices can have on ourselves and our families.
18
S unday April 7
Free Will, Free Choice

Some Christians believe that God has chosen, even before a person
was born, whether or not that person will be saved. That is, those who
in the end are lost eternally are lost because God, in His wisdom (this
theology claims), made that choice for this person to be lost. Which
means, then, that regardless of their choices, that person will be con-
demned.
Fortunately, as Seventh-day Adventists, we don’t ascribe to that
theology. Instead, we believe that God has chosen for all of us to be
saved—and that even before the world began, we were chosen in Him
to have eternal life.
Read Ephesians 1:1–4; Titus 1:1, 2; and 2 Timothy 1:8, 9. What do

these verses tell us about being chosen by God and when we were
chosen?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
However good this news, some people will still be lost (Matt. 25:41).
And that’s because, though God has chosen us all, He has given humans
a most sacred gift, and that is free will, free choice.
What does Matthew 22:35–37 teach about free will?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
The Lord does not force us to love Him. Love, in order to be love, has
to be freely given. In many ways, one could argue that the Bible is the
story of God reaching out to lost human beings and seeking, without
coercion, to win their hearts to Himself. This reality can best be seen in
the life and ministry of Jesus, and how people—using their free will—
reacted to Him. Some were drawn to Him; others wanted Him dead.
Yes, God has chosen us for salvation, but, in the end, we have to make
the choice to accept that salvation. There is no question that of all the
choices we have to make, the choice to serve the Lord is, by far, the
most consequential for us and for those who are impacted (such as our
immediate family) by our life and the choices that we make in it.
19
M onday April 8
Making the Right Choices

We all know very well the importance of the choices we make. And
we all know, too, how wrong choices can very negatively impact our
lives and the lives of others. The question is, How can we know how to
make the right choices?
The following verses give us some general steps that can help us in our
quest to make the right decisions. What are these steps?
1. 1 Thess. 5:17, James 1:5
2. Isa. 1:19; Matt. 7:24, 25
3. Ps. 119:105, 2 Tim. 3:16
4. Prov. 3:5, 6; Isa. 58:11
5. Prov. 15:22, 24:6
In every important decision we make, how crucial that we go to the

Lord in prayer, that we make sure our choice will not lead us to violate
God’s law in any way—or even the principles in His Word. How cru-
cial that we trust in God, that we surrender our choice to Him; that is,
we must pray that the choices we make will glorify Him and that we
are ready to surrender our own desires if they go against His plan for
our lives. Many times, too, wise counselors can be a great help as we
seek to make choices. In the end, we can have great assurance knowing
that God loves and wants what’s best for us, and that if we in faith and
humility surrender our lives to Him, we can move ahead in faith on the
choices we make.
How do you go about making big choices in your life? What, if

any, spiritual steps do you take in seeking to make these choices?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
20
T uesday April 9
Choosing Friends
One of the most important choices we’ll ever make is our friends.
Most of the time we don’t set out to make friends; often friendships
simply develop naturally as we spend time with people who enjoy some
of the same things we do.
What principles in choosing friends do we find in the following verses?

Prov. 12:26; 17:17; 18:24; 22:24, 25.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Proverbs 18:24 says that if we want to have friends, we must be
friendly. Sometimes people find themselves alone, but their morose,
negative attitude is what drives others away. “Even the best of us have
these unlovely traits; and in selecting friends we should choose those
who will not be driven away from us when they learn that we are not
perfect. Mutual forbearance is called for. We should love and respect
one another notwithstanding the faults and imperfections that we
cannot help seeing; for this is the Spirit of Christ. Humility and self-
distrust should be cultivated, and a patient tenderness with the faults of
others. This will kill out all narrowing selfishness and make us large-
hearted and generous.”—Ellen G. White, Pastoral Ministry, p. 95.
One of the best-known stories of friendship is that between David and
Jonathan. Had Saul, Israel’s first king and Jonathan’s father, been faithful
and obedient, his kingdom might have lasted for several generations, and
Jonathan could have been the successor to his throne. When Saul proved
unworthy of his call, God chose David as the new king of Israel, thus
disqualifying Jonathan for what otherwise should have been rightfully
his. Here we have a powerful example of how the wrong choices of one
family member (Saul) impacted another family member (Jonathan).
But Jonathan was not angry or jealous of David. Instead, he chose to
help David by protecting him from the anger of his own father, Saul.
“The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved
him as his own soul” (1 Sam. 18:1, NKJV). What a powerful example
of true friendship.
“Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits’ ” (1 Cor.

15:33, NKJV). What has been your own experience with friends,
even those who might have meant you no harm but who ended
up harming you anyway? How can wrong choices in friendships
hurt family relationships?
21
W ednesday April 10
Choosing a Life Partner

If you’re supposed to choose your friends carefully, you must be even
more careful when it comes to choosing your future spouse. Adam
was very blessed that God designed his life companion with His own
hands and from within himself. Adam’s choice was easy since Eve was
not just the only woman, but the perfect woman. The rest of us have a
more difficult time, since none of us is perfect and we have many more
people to choose from.
Because this decision is so important, God has not left us without
guidance in this area of our lives. Besides all the important steps we
looked at in Monday’s study, there are some more specific steps to fol-
low in considering the question of marriage (we will look at the whole
question of marriage more carefully in lesson 6). Indeed, outside of the
choice to serve the Lord, the question of a spouse will almost always be
the most consequential choice anyone makes in their lives.
What very general guidance is found in the following texts that could
and should be applied to someone seeking the right partner in mar-
riage? Ps. 37:27, Ps. 119:97, 1 Cor. 15:33, James 1:23–25.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Besides looking for the right person to marry, be the right person
first. “ ‘Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to
them, for this is the Law and the Prophets’ ” (Matt. 7:12, NKJV).
Someone could find a great potential spouse who has all the qualities
one would want, but if the one who wants good qualities in the other
lacks them himself or herself, problems will arise.
This is not new—and is certainly seen not only in marriage but in life
in general. Paul spends a great deal of time in the opening of Romans
talking to those who condemn others for doing what they, the ones
condemning, also are guilty of. Or, as Jesus said: “ ‘And why do you
look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in
your own eye?’ ” (Matt. 7:3, NKJV).
How often do you find yourself wishing others (your spouse, per-
haps) had traits that, in fact, you lack yourself? Think about it.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
22
T hursday April 11
Choosing a Course
At some point, we have to make the choice about what we want to do
with our lives in terms of a job or career. Unless independently wealthy
or working full-time at home taking care of the house and family (the
most noble of all occupations), many people have to choose a path as
far as earning a living goes.
Of course, we all exist in certain circumstances that can, to a great
degree, limit our choices regarding a career. But within whatever sphere
we exist, we can make choices regarding our occupation that, especially
in the context of knowing that we have salvation in Jesus Christ, can
give our lives added meaning and purpose. In short, whatever we do,
we can do for the glory of God.
What mistake did Solomon make, and how can we be careful not to do
something similar? Eccles. 2:1–11.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
We don’t need to be rich to get caught up in the same trap that
Solomon did. “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil,
for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and
pierced themselves through with many sorrows” (1 Tim. 6:10, NKJV).
One can be poor and love money just as much as someone does who
is rich.
Yes, we need to earn a living, but regardless of what we do or how
much we make, we need not make the pursuit of wealth an idol. Many
families, too, have suffered because of a father who, obsessed with
making money, neglected the family in order to try to get rich. How
many children, or spouses, would have preferred a humbler lifestyle
over an impoverished relationship with the father? In most cases,
people would have preferred the former over the latter.
From Creation, God planned for work to be part of life (Gen. 2:15).
The danger is when we make our work the center of our life, or it
becomes a means of solely acquiring wealth for ourselves. This is the
mistake Solomon made. He was searching for meaning in those proj-
ects, and even though many brought him a degree of satisfaction, at the
end he figured out that they were meaningless.
Someone once asked: “How many people, at the end of their lives,
wished they had spent more time in the office and less time with
their family?” What’s the important message in this question?
23
F riday April 12
Further Thought: All through Scripture, we are confronted with

the reality of human free will. Even the unfallen Adam and Eve (Genesis
3) had free will, and they unfortunately made the wrong choice with it. If
unfallen beings, in perfection, could misuse free will, how much more so
beings like us, steeped in sin?
And we need to remember that free will is just that, free, which
means that regardless of the pressure on us, both from within and
without, we don’t have to choose what is wrong. We can, through the
power of God in us, make the right choices with the free will God has
given us. Thus, how important that we carefully weigh our decisions,
especially thinking about how those decisions can impact our family
lives. The freewill choice of Cain to kill his brother surely devastated
his family. The freewill decision of Joseph’s brothers to sell him into
slavery ruined their father’s life. “And he recognized it and said, ‘It is
my son’s tunic. A wild beast has devoured him. Without doubt Joseph
is torn to pieces.’ Then Jacob tore his clothes, put sackcloth on his
waist, and mourned for his son many days. And all his sons and all his
daughters arose to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted, and he
said, ‘For I shall go down into the grave to my son in mourning.’ Thus
his father wept for him” (Gen. 37:33–35, NKJV).
All through the Bible, as in life, we can find examples of how the
free choices of family members, for good or evil, impact others, such
as the choices of Korah, Dathan, and Abiram (Num. 16:1–32; see also
Dan. 6:23, 24; Gen. 18:19).
 What are some of the free choices you made today? What do
they tell you about yourself and your relationship with God and
with others? Of the choices you made, which ones, if any, do you
wish you had made differently?
 What Bible characters made wrong choices, and what can we

learn from their mistakes? How did their wrong choices negatively
impact their families?
 No question: we all have regrets about wrong choices we have

made. Why, in times of those regrets, is the gospel such good news?
What promises from the Bible have you claimed in times of dis-
tress and guilt over wrong choices?
 If some people were to come to you talking about marriage,

what advice would you give them, and why? What principles can
you point to from the Word of God to help them work through this
important decision?
24
i n s i d e
Story
Brazilian Dodges Bombs
By Carolyn Azo
Dismayed by news reports of starving people in Africa, Marcelo
Dornelles left a comfortable life in Brazil to provide ADRA relief in the
war-torn countries of Mozambique, Angola, and Iraq.
Although only 48, Dornelles has white hair and a well-lined face that tes-
tify to years of arduous humanitarian work amid bomb explosions, intense
sun, severe cold, and pounding rain.
He wouldn’t change a thing.
“I was very dissatisfied in 1990, even though I had a comfortable life,”
Dornelles said in an interview in the Iraqi city of Erbil, where he worked as
director of ADRA Kurdistan. “I felt a desire to help when I saw television
images of people dying of hunger in Ethiopia and Somalia, where there was
war at the time. I knew God was calling me.”
His first assignment was to help the Adventist Development and Relief
Agency establish food programs for people displaced by conflict and
drought in 100 villages in Mozambique. The country had been mired in civil
war since 1977, and a peace agreement would not be reached until 1992.
“When I arrived, I realized that the situation was more complicated than
I had thought,” Dornelles said. “But I could not turn back. Much help was
needed.”
He worked in Mozambique for eight months, and he said his desire to help
others only grew stronger. But a medical emergency involving his mother
prompted him to cut short his work and return to Brazil to care for her.
His next assignment, to Angola, brought him to a country in the midst of
a 27-year civil war. His first years were horrific as he saw desperate people
eat shoes and dead dogs. During a military offensive in 1993, he saved 20
children from starvation and bomb blasts by sheltering them in his home in
the provincial capital of Malanje in northern Angola.
“What I saw in the streets was terrible, dozens of children who were
only skin and bones dying of hunger,” he said. “I could not bear such
misery. So, I gathered the children whom I met, brought them to my
house, and fed them.”
He also worked with ADRA to place
more than 200 orphaned children with
Adventist families in Malanje.
In 2016, Dornelles moved to Iraq to help inter-

nally displaced people there. “He’s a guy with
a big heart,” said Liander Reis, a Brazilian
who works as chief financial officer for ADRA
Kurdistan.
mission offerings to spread the gospel worldwide. Read new stories daily at AdventistMission.org. 25
teachers comments
Part I: Overview
Choices are such a part of our lives that they often escape our direct atten-
tion. As a result, bad choices are made that result in bad consequences.
Yet, those same choices are repeated time and time again. This lesson
reflects briefly on the nature of choice, then studies how the significant
choices of our lives can be made in a godly way.
When we speak of “choice,” we are generally referring to free choice.
The single greatest creative gift God ever bestowed upon us was to make
us free moral agents. Without this gift, all other gifts could not be freely
appreciated. Without it, too, all our responses of love and worship to God
would be gutted of authenticity. True freedom makes love a genuine pos-
sibility. But this freedom is not without the potential for evil. As we all
know, that potential has actualized, again and again, since the Fall.
But though evil has metaphorically swallowed this planet in darkness,
God has preserved and provided sources of light for us to help us find our
way. Often, we try to shift responsibility to God’s doorstep for the prob-
lems and pain in our lives. In many cases, however, honest examination
shows we have often ignored God’s resources for wisdom that would have
prevented such problems in the first place. Our God is a God of revela-
tion (and patience). He communicates with us through nature (Ps. 19:1–3,
Rom. 1:20), prayer (Matt. 21:22, James 1:5), Scripture (Ps. 119:105,
2 Tim. 3:16), godly counselors (Prov. 11:14, 15:22), and, most gloriously,
through the life and words of Jesus (Heb. 1:2, 3). These are our lights in
the world. We really shouldn’t be making significant choices without con-
sulting them—especially in the areas this lesson highlights: (1) choosing
friends, (2) choosing a life partner, and (3) choosing a life occupation.
Part II: Commentary

Motivation for Christian Ethics
We are who we are because of our choices. We are where we are because
of our choices. Of course, other people’s choices have affected our lives,
because we live interdependently with one another; but how we have
responded to those choices puts us back in the driver’s seat. This per-
spective keeps us responsible and accountable for our current situations,
while at the same time it causes us to acknowledge that some events
in life are not within our control. The life ramifications of our choices
26
teachers comments
are momentous. Thus, one would assume everyone invests considerable

effort in reflecting on the morality of their choices and then, as a result,
intentionally adopts the most reasonable ethical framework. But sadly,
the average person spends more time researching which computer to buy
rather than which ethical system to live by.
Convenience, cultural trends, peer pressure, emotions, habits, and
mere preferences are unreliable guides for the choices that lead to the
life that God intended for us. Basing our decisions on such unreliable
foundations is foolishness. We are each compelled, whether we are
Christians or not, to ask: What will be the bases for my decision-making?
Basis of Christian Ethics
The bedrock of Christian ethics is that we have been made in the imago
Dei (i.e., the image of God [Gen. 1:27]). All of our decisions should
be made in reference to that reality. The greater the knowledge of the
character of God, the broader our ethical horizon becomes, and the more
glorious our destiny appears (2 Cor. 3:18). So how can the image of God
be preserved and restored on a choice-by-choice basis?
In answer to that question, consider the following apocryphal story.
A man once asked Michelangelo about his statue of David. The man
inquired, “How did you create such a masterpiece from a rough chunk
of marble?” Michelangelo responded, “I simply chipped away everything
that didn’t look like David.” We can make decisions to do only those
things that look like Jesus and purpose to chip away from our lives any-
thing that doesn’t. Being mindful of our call to be God’s image bearers
is essential to the goal of Christian ethics. But we need more assistance
and guidance than simply to be left asking ourselves, “What would Jesus
do?”
The Source of Christian Ethics
The teachings of the Bible provide the foundations for Christian ethics.
The late Adventist ethics scholar Miroslav Kiš provides us with three
lenses that help us glean the ethical wisdom from the Scriptures (see
Miroslav Kiš, “Biblical Narratives and Christian Decision,” Journal
of the Adventist Theological Society 9, nos. 1, 2 [1998]: 24–31). These
three lenses are: (1) principles, (2) rules of action, and (3) normative
models. Because these lenses are relatively simple and there are only
three of them, write them on a whiteboard, if available, and encourage
your class to commit them to memory.
27
teachers comments
Principles: These are grounded in our fundamental notions of moral

truth. They are general and immutable yet still need illumination from the
Scriptures. The Ten Commandments, the Psalms, Ecclesiastes, Proverbs,
the Gospels (especially the Sermon on the Mount), and the Epistles are
generally considered sources of moral principles that are sufficient to
cover life’s situations. Not committing adultery and treating others the way
you want to be treated are examples of these timeless principles (Exod.
20:14, Matt. 7:12).
Rules of Action: These are specific rules that derive from broader prin-
ciples and are tied to concrete situations. God’s command to Gideon to
destroy the altar of Baal and erect an altar to the Lord (Judg. 6:25, 26),
Jesus’ command to the rich young ruler to sell all his possessions (Matt.
19:21), and His command to Peter to put his sword away (Matt. 26:52)
are not commands specifically to us today. But that does not mean they
are irrelevant. When it comes to reflecting on issues of worship, idolatry,
finances, priorities, and violence, these commands should be referenced
in order to better ascertain God’s will in whatever particular situation we
may be in.
Normative Models: The stories of the Bible also serve as moral standards.
Paul explains that “these things [historical accounts of Israel’s history] . . .
were written down for our instruction” (1 Cor. 10:11, ESV). These stories
are normative because they serve as warnings to us in order “that we might
not desire evil as they did” (1 Cor. 10:6, ESV). Additionally, they are mod-
els because they are intended for imitation. These models sometimes offer
benefits that principles and rules of action don’t. They help us to identify
with the characters who experience struggles and temptations when God’s
moral principles are at stake. In narratives, the consequences of either fol-
lowing or rebelling against moral standards are highlighted, and chains of
cause and effect are on display. Kiš remarks (in “Biblical Narratives and
Christian Decision”) on the benefits of reading Bible stories as normative
models: “We can learn lessons without actually experiencing sin for our-
selves. Normative models help us learn by proxy.”—Page 29.
The Bible’s normative models also can be helpful when two biblical
principles conflict in a given situation. A Bible story will often provide
the solution to the conflict. In addition, the moral principle may be clear
at times, but there are still multiple specific courses of action (rules of
action) that seem to apply. Which one do we take? Often, normative
models, as Kiš notes, can “serve to tip the scales.”—Page 30.
Some students in your class may see this brief primer on Christian
ethics as too focused on behavior, at best, and too legalistic, at worst.
What about the Holy Spirit’s work in the life? What about being saved by
28
teachers comments
grace? These and other dimensions of salvation are all assumed to be in

place as one is faced with ethical challenges. It may be good to end the
discussion with the reminder that choices script our futures. No wonder,
then, that a God of love would command and reinforce principles of
moral conduct (ethics) (Heb. 12:5–8, Rev. 3:19) that would ensure we
enjoy life “more abundantly” now and “will have eternal life in the world
to come” (John 10:10, Luke 18:30, NLT). We would not expect anything
less of an earthly father. Why expect less from our heavenly Father?

The previous section on ethics was heavy on theory. As important as theory
is, now is the opportunity to take that ethical framework discussed and
briefly apply it to the far-reaching choices the lesson highlights. Here are
some scenarios we may face for choosing a spouse.
Scenario 1: A friend of yours has just come out of a second failed marriage.
There is now someone in church who has captured his or her attention.
This friend has come to you for counsel. What are some principles, rules
of action, or normative models from Scripture you could share?
Possible Approach: The lesson authors take a fascinating principled
approach to preparing for marriage by invoking the golden rule in order
to become the kind of spouse one would want. This approach means that
if one is seeking to be married, he or she should first cultivate the qualities
within that he or she is searching for in another.
The story of Isaac and Rebekah also could serve as a normative model
in that: (1) Isaac trusts others in the choice of a spouse (Gen. 24:1–4);
(2) a woman from his idolatrous homeland is not considered an option
(Gen. 24:6); (3) Isaac was meditating (perhaps in prayer) the evening
Rebekah arrived (Gen. 24:63); and (4) all parties seemed pleased with
the arrangement.
Scenario 2: You have a friend who lives in an area where polygamy is legal.
He is considering taking a second wife. Furthermore, he feels the Bible
does not explicitly forbid polygamy. Besides, many patriarchs in the Bible
had multiple wives. How could you use the ethical framework discussed
to steer him differently?
Possible Approach: A rule of action could be referenced in Leviticus
18:18, which states, “Neither shalt thou take a wife to her sister, to vex her,
to uncover her nakedness, beside the other in her life time.”
Interestingly, this text could be used to support polygamy if it indeed
29
teachers comments
means that it is excluding only the case of marrying blood-related

sisters. However, there is strong support that a “wife to her sister” is
an idiomatic expression, referring to a female citizen, and therefore
excludes the possibility of additional wives. Richard M. Davidson
offers eight considerations in behalf of this interpretation (see Flame of
Yahweh: Sexuality in the Old Testament [Peabody, Mass.: Hendrickson
Publishers, Inc., 2007], p. 194).
But what if we throw up our hands and can’t decide what Leviticus
18:18 is saying? The Edenic ideal of the exclusive relationship of Adam
and Eve can provide a working principle. We also have normative mod-
els to consider: the stories of familial failure revolving around multiple
wives experienced by Abraham, Jacob, David, and Solomon. Put these
narratives together, and a negative appraisal of polygamy begins to theo-
logically emerge from the Scriptures.
Notes
30
Preparing for Change
Sabbath Afternoon
Read for This Week’s Study: 1 Cor. 10:1–13, Gen. 2:24,
1 Cor. 13:4–8, 1 Sam. 1:27, Psalm 71, 1 Cor. 15:24–26.
Memory Text: “Righteousness will go before Him, and shall make

His footsteps our pathway” (Psalm 85:13, NKJV).
L
ife is full of changes. Things change all the time. The only thing
that does not change is the reality of change itself. Change, in
fact, is a part of our very existence. Even the laws of physics
seem to teach that change exists in the most basic fabric of reality.
Often, changes come unexpectedly. We are going along in a routine
when, suddenly, instantly, everything changes, and we are caught com-
pletely off guard.
On the other hand, sometimes we can see changes coming. We are
given forewarnings, signs, and indicators that let us know things are
going to be different. When this happens, it’s wise to start preparing, to
whatever degree possible, for what we can see coming. Many of these
changes are big: marriage, children, old age, and even death.
And yes, we do not live in isolation. Which means, then, that the
changes that come to us can impact our families, and in big ways, as
well. At the same time, changes in our families also can impact each
family member, too.
This week, let’s look at some of the changes that sooner or later, in
one way or another, most of us face and how these changes can impact
family life.
31
S unday April 14
Unprepared
There is one thing about the Word of God: it does not gloss over the
realities of human life. On the contrary, it exposes them in all their
harshness and, at times, sheer pain and despair. In fact, with the excep-
tion of the first few pages of the Bible and the last few at the end, the
Word of God paints a sad picture of the human race. Paul was not exag-
gerating when he wrote, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory
of God” (Rom. 3:23, NKJV).
Read 1 Corinthians 10:1–13. What warnings are there, as well as what

promises?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
In many ways, many of our actions in life are simply how we react to
change. We constantly face changes; the challenge for us, as Christians,
is to deal with them by faith, trusting in God and revealing that faith
through obedience, regardless of temptations to do otherwise.
“The greatest want of the world is the want of men—men who will
not be bought or sold, men who in their inmost souls are true and hon-
est, men who do not fear to call sin by its right name, men whose con-
science is as true to duty as the needle to the pole, men who will stand
for the right though the heavens fall.”—Ellen G. White, Education,
p. 57. Those words were as true for ancient Israel as they were in Ellen
G. White’s time, and as they are for us now.
What mistakes did the people in the following texts make in the face of
change, and what can we learn from their mistakes?
Acts 5:1–10
Gen. 16:1, 2, 5, 6
Matt. 20:20–22

Changes come, and they often bring temptations, challenges, and
even, at times, fear. Thus, how crucial it is that we have the spiritual
armor on to deal with them in the right manner. Again, regardless of
whether the changes are unexpected or whether they are just the typical
part of life, we need to be prepared for what’s coming, both the seen
and the unseen.
32
M onday April 15
Preparing for Marriage

One of the greatest changes a person faces is when he or she gets
married.
Of course, not everyone gets married. After all, Jesus, our greatest
example, never did, nor did many other Bible characters.
Nevertheless, many people do marry, and thus, the Bible is not silent
about marriage, which is surely one of the greatest life changers.
The first social arrangement mentioned in the Bible is marriage. For
God, marriage is so important that the same words He told Adam and
Eve in Eden about marriage appear in three other places in Scripture.
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave
unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Gen. 2:24; see also Matt.
19:5, Mark 10:7, Eph. 5:31). These texts tell us that once a person
gets married, the most important relationship in their lives should be
between them and their spouse, even more than between them and their
parents. Among the reasons marriage between a man and a woman is so
important to God is that it typifies the relationship that exists between
His Son, Jesus, and the church, His bride (Eph. 5:32).
In constructing a house, one needs to stop and consider the cost
(Luke 14:28–30); how much more so when establishing a home? A
house is built with brick and mortar, wood and iron, wires and glass.
But a home is built with things that are not necessarily material.
What are some crucial traits that are important for all aspects of life
but are especially important for those preparing for marriage? 1 Cor.
13:4–8; Gal. 5:22, 23.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Preparation for marriage must begin with us personally and individu
ally. At the same time, we need to look carefully at our future spouse
to see if he or she would be a good complement for us. Is he or she
a hard worker (Prov. 24:30–34)? Does he or she have a bad temper
(Prov. 22:24)? Do we share common beliefs (2 Cor. 6:14, 15)? How do
my family and friends feel about my future spouse (Prov. 11:14)? Am
I relying on faith or on feelings alone (Prov. 3:5, 6)? The answers to
these questions can mean a future of happiness or a lifetime of sorrow.
Think about some good marriages. What principles do you find

there that could be applied to other kinds of interpersonal rela-
tionships, as well?
33
T uesday April 16
Preparing for Parenting

Few things can change our lives more than the birth of a child.
Nothing in the family can or will ever be the same again.
“Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s
youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them” (Ps. 127:4,
5, NKJV).
At the same time, children do not arrive with an owner’s manual
that tells their parents all they need to do to care for them and how to
troubleshoot any problems that may arise. Even experienced parents are
sometimes stumped by the actions, words, or attitudes of their children.
As important as it is to prepare for marriage, it is important also
that those who hope to become parents be prepared for that awesome
responsibility.
However unique the following stories about births were, what

principles can those preparing to be parents take away from these
accounts? 1 Sam. 1:27; Judg. 13:7; Luke 1:6, 13–17, 39–55, 76–79.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
What an awesome responsibility and opportunity these parents had.
Three would be the parents of prophets and leaders in Israel, one of
their children would be the forerunner of the promised Messiah, and
one of the children would be the Christ.
Yet, even if our children are not destined to be biblical prophets,
parents should still be preparing for this radical change in their lives.
“Even before the birth of the child, the preparation should begin that
will enable it to fight successfully the battle against evil.
“If before the birth of her child she is self-indulgent, if she is selfish,
impatient, and exacting, these traits will be reflected in the disposition of
the child. Thus many children have received as a birthright almost uncon-
querable tendencies to evil.”—Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home, p. 256.
Whether it is children under our care or if we have responsibili

ties toward other people, what are things we can do to discharge
those responsibilities in the godliest manner possible?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
34
W ednesday April 17
Preparing for Old Age

“The days of our lives are seventy years; and if by reason of strength
they are eighty years, yet their boast is only labor and sorrow; for it is
soon cut off, and we fly away” (Ps. 90:10, NKJV). These words from
Moses remind us of the inexorable march of time. As the years come
and go, we begin to see and feel changes in our bodies. Our hair turns
gray or falls out, we begin to slow down, and aches and pains become
our daily companions. If we are married and have children, our children
might bear their own children, and we could then enjoy our grandchil-
dren. The previous seasons of life have helped us get ready for the last
one.
Read Psalm 71. What does this psalm teach us about not just prepar-
ing for old age, but about life in general?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Psalm 71 is the psalm of an older person who experiences the chal-
lenges that come with life but who is happy because all along he or she
has put their trust in God. The best way to grow old is to put our trust in
Him while still young. In general terms, the author of this psalm shares
three important lessons he learned as he moved toward this season of
his life.
1. Develop a deep, personal knowledge of God. From his youth (Ps.
71:17), God was his strong refuge (Ps. 71:1, 7) and his Savior (Ps. 71:2).
God is a rock and fortress (Ps. 71:3), his hope and confidence (Ps. 71:5).
He speaks of God’s mighty deeds (Ps. 71:16, 17), His strength and power
(Ps. 71:18), and all the great things He has done (Ps. 71:19). Ultimately
he shouts, “O God, who is like You?” (Ps. 71:19, NKJV). Those daily con-
versations with God, as we study His Word and as we pause to reflect on
all He does for us, will deepen our experience with Him.
2. Develop good habits. Good nutrition, exercise, water, sunshine,
rest, et cetera will help us enjoy life longer and better. Take special note
as to how the psalmist refers to the habits of trust (Ps. 71:3), praise (Ps.
71:6), and hope (Ps. 71:14).
3. Develop a passion for God’s mission. The person in Psalm 71 was
not looking forward to being idle in his old age. Even in his retirement
he wanted to continue praising God (Ps. 71:8) and telling others about
Him (Ps. 71:15–18).
For those who are older, what are some of the benefits of getting
older? What do you know now that you didn’t when younger that
you could share with those who are younger?
35
T hursday April 18
Preparing for Death

Unless we are alive at the Second Coming, one change that we can all
expect is the biggest change of all: the change from life to death. Along
with marriage and birth, what change has a greater impact on family
than the death of an immediate family member?
Read 1 Corinthians 15:24–26. What do these verses teach us about

death?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Many times, of course, death comes unexpectedly and tragically.
How many men, women, and even children woke up one morning only,
before the sun set, to close their eyes not in sleep but in death? Or woke
up one morning and before the sun set had lost a family member?
Other than making sure you are connected by faith with the Lord and
covered in His righteousness moment by moment (see Rom. 3:22), you
can’t prepare for a death that you don’t see coming, either for yourself
or your loved one.
On the other hand, what would you do if you knew you had only
a few months to live? We may not know for certain when death will
overcome us, but we certainly may know when we are nearing the end
of our life. Thus, how crucial it is to prepare ourselves and our family
for the inevitable.
Read 1 Kings 2:1–4, some of the last words David spoke to his son
Solomon. What lessons can we take from this about preparing for
death, both for ourselves and for family members?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
At first glance, one could argue, That’s rich! David, who murdered
Uriah after impregnating his wife (see 2 Samuel 11), tells his son to
walk in the way of the Lord. On the other hand, it was perhaps precisely
because of this sin and the horrible consequences that followed that
David’s words were so powerful. He was, no doubt, in his own way try-
ing to warn his son away from the folly that caused him so much grief.
David learned, the hard way, some difficult lessons about the cost of
sin, and no doubt he had hoped to spare his son some of the grief that
he himself had experienced.
36
F riday April 19
Further Thought: If we read through the story of ancient Israel in

the wilderness, we can see a litany of mistake after mistake in the face
of great changes, even despite the amazing revelation of God’s love
and power. In fact, before Israel was to, finally, enter the Promised
Land—and thus face another great change—Moses said the following
to ancient Israel: “ ‘Your eyes have seen what the Lord did at Baal
Peor; for the Lord your God has destroyed from among you all the
men who followed Baal of Peor. But you who held fast to the Lord
your God are alive today every one of you. Surely I have taught you
statutes and judgments, just as the Lord my God commanded me,
that you should act according to them in the land which you go to
possess. Therefore be careful to observe them; for this is your wisdom
and your understanding in the sight of the peoples who will hear all
these statutes, and say, ‘Surely this great nation is a wise and under-
standing people.’ For what great nation is there that has God so near
to it, as the Lord our God is to us, for whatever reason we may call
upon Him? And what great nation is there that has such statutes and
righteous judgments as are in all this law which I set before you this
day? Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest
you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from
your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children
and your grandchildren’ ” (Deut. 4:3–9, NKJV). How crucial that we
not forget what the Lord has done for us. And what better way not
to forget than to teach it to others and to those who come after us.
Notice, too, how central the family was in all this, in that they were to
teach these things to their children. And the sin at Peor was something
that only could be destructive to family life. “The crime that brought
the judgments of God upon Israel was that of licentiousness. The for-
wardness of women to entrap souls did not end at Baal-peor.”—Ellen
G. White, The Adventist Home, p. 326.
 In class, talk about some of the preparations you made in
facing any of the big stages in life, marriage, parenting, old
age, or anything else. How did the changes impact your family?
What have you learned that could help others facing the same
stages?
 Think about David’s words to Solomon, again in the context of

his sin against Bathsheba, a calamity that cast a shadow over the
rest of David’s reign and greatly impacted his family for the worse.
In what ways, amid it all, do we see the reality of God’s grace at
work?
37
i n s i d e
Story
Praying for a Baby
By Marjorie Chisonga
My son was born a year after I got married.
Then nothing. No more children.
People started to notice. “Why aren’t you conceiving?” one person
asked. “Maybe you should go to the medical doctor for help,” another said.
Some people suggested that I visit the witch doctor.
My husband and I wanted more children. He taught at Rusangu
Secondary School, a Seventh-day Adventist boarding academy in
Monze, Zambia. I was studying to become an elementary school teacher.
What could I say to those inquiring about the size of my family?
“That’s the way it is,” I repeated again and again. “God will provide.”
I wasn’t sad or annoyed by people’s pity. But as time wore on, I real-
ized that some of my more superstitious friends thought I was being
punished for some unknown reason.
Then my husband’s sister died, and we adopted her 3-year-old daugh-
ter. Now we had two children in our home. My superstitious friends
rejoiced, saying the girl’s presence would wake up my hormones and
allow me to have another baby.
Still nothing happened.
But the biblical story of Hannah in 1 Samuel 1 gave me hope. Hannah
was a prayerful woman who never gave up. She persisted until God
granted her prayer, and she gave birth to Samuel.
My husband and I kept praying. We prayed for 13 long years. Then
one day I noticed something was different. I was pregnant! My husband
and I immediately knelt to pray with thanksgiving.
We named our second child Cheelela, which means “worthwhile” in
the Tonga language. He was well worth the wait. In no time, I gave birth
to a third son, Chakondela, which means “let it be so.”
My two younger sons are now 17 and 14—and they love Jesus.
God has blessed my family abundantly. We just had to be patient.
When you ask God to give you something good in faith, He will give
you more than you could possibly desire.
Marjorie Chisonga, 52, teaches home econom-
ics at Rusangu Secondary School, located on
land where U.S. missionary William Harrison
Anderson established the first Adventist outpost
in Northern Rhodesia (now Zambia) in 1905.
Mission offerings supported Anderson’s work and
continue to fund the spread of the gospel through
missionaries today. Thank you for your mission
offering.
teachers comments
Part I: Overview
There are two types of unprepared people—those who know they are
unprepared and those who don’t. Wouldn’t you rather be the former
than the latter? Marriage, parenting, old age, and death form a tetrad of
events that radically influence family life. How to prepare for this hand-
ful of life’s monumental changes is the focus for this lesson.
No one likes to be caught unprepared. Pop quizzes, unexpected visits
from friends or foes, and surprise inspections can create a knot in the
stomach. The interesting thing about the tetrad of events under discus-
sion is that the first two are by choice, and the last two are inevitable
(notwithstanding an untimely birth or death, respectively). We can pre-
pare for things we choose and know will happen. So, for the most part,
we are in a position to carefully prepare for these events.
The Bible is rare among ancient literature in that it does not gloss
over the failures of its heroes nor exaggerate their successes. The lesson
authors highlight the fact that Scripture portrays life in an uncensored
fashion. The mistakes of others are in the Bible for all to see, and, if
taken seriously, serve as warning beacons. In addition, the testimonies
of people’s lives all around us confirm the truthfulness and timeliness
of Bible principles. The following stories are two of thousands of stories
that we could all share that show the folly of not preparing for old age
and death in a way that glorifies the Giver of life.
Part II: Commentary

Health Illustration
Joseph grew up knowing both his grandfathers. Their closing years
haunted him as an adult as he reflected on death and old age, the sec-
tions for this week’s Bible study guide. Unfortunately, his grandfathers’
experiences serve well to illustrate two paths to avoid. Their “blood
cries out,” so to speak, in warning, directing all to different paths than
the ones they took.
Joseph and his wife were backpacking in the Sierra Nevadas when
the call came that “Grandpa A” wasn’t doing well. He had suffered a
heart attack earlier that year. But things were not improving as hoped.
Now he was being cared for by relatives. Joseph and his wife detoured
over to see this once-robust angler who had taken Joseph halibut fishing
in the Pacific Ocean and always had time for ice-cream stops with his
grandson. Joseph and his wife entered his grandfather’s room, where he
39
teachers comments
lay fully dressed on the top covers of a bed. He was unusually rigid, as
if immobilized. The dim lights and depressive atmosphere foreshadowed
the inevitable. He recognized his grandson. They shared a few incon-
sequential words. Then he interrupted their conversation by spurting
out four words that have haunted Joseph ever since: “Your health . . . is
everything.” He repeated the words as if they were going to be his last:
“Your health is everything.” Afterward, Joseph could not remember a
single word of the conversation before, or subsequent to, that fateful
pronouncement. He and his wife left. Soon after their visit, Joseph’s
grandfather went to his rest. But to this day, Joseph can still hear the des-
peration in his grandfather’s voice as he intoned his deathbed revelation:
“Your health is everything.” Sadly, such a revelation on health comes all
too often to many only after they lose it.
That revelation shouldn’t be earth-shattering news to lifelong
Adventists like Joseph or others. After all, we have the health message.
Joseph, like so many of us, didn’t drink, smoke, or eat unclean meats.
He exercised periodically. What did he have to fear? At that time, he was
much more interested in studying the Bible than in “all that health stuff,”
which he didn’t have time for anyway. Worst of all, the health message
seemed to turn some Adventists into legalistic fanatics. Joseph surely
wasn’t going to go that route. He even convinced himself that his peri-
odic but frequent indulgences were healthy signs of “balance” and proof
of nonlegalism and nonfanaticism. As he reflected on his past dismissal
of making health a priority, Paul’s words came to his mind: “When I was
a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child”
(1 Cor. 13:11, ESV). Thankfully, his grandpa’s words finally took effect
in his life. Better late than never, as they say.
This lesson does not intend to be a health seminar. But it does propose
that a brief perspective change in how we look at health is appropriate.
As aging relatives decline and eventually go to their rest, one starts
to see lifelong health habits culminate in conditions of either elderly
vitality or premature decrepitude. What we once thought were diseases
of old age or genetics are now seen to be more dependent on lifestyle.
The lifestyle factor in the United States, for example, that is causing
the most deaths is both eye-opening and surprising. “The State of U.S.
Health, 1990–2010 Burden of Diseases, Injuries, and Risk Factors”
lists 17 risk factors related to death and disability (see U.S. Burden of
Disease Collaborators, “The State of U.S. Health, 1990–2010 Burden
of Diseases, Injuries, and Risk Factors,” JAMA 310, no. 6 [2013]: 600,
doi:10.1001/jama.2013.13805).
It turns out that there is one particular risk factor topping the charts
for both death and disability. Let that sink in for a moment. The same
risk factor related to the most deaths in the U.S. and the most years
40
teachers comments
lost because of disability (and death) are the same. Any guesses? One
might think the number one risk factor was alcohol, tobacco smoking,
being overweight, or being inactive. Good guesses but wrong ones. The
number one risk factor is what we put in our mouths every day: it is the
food we eat. Don’t be fooled by food labeled “organic,” “vegan,” “gluten-
free,” “vegetarian,” “natural,” etc. There is now a consensus among a
number of health professionals that a diet consisting of primarily whole,
unrefined plant foods, such as grains, beans, fruits, and vegetables,
substantially reduces one’s risk for numerous common diseases. Such
luminaries in preventive health as Caldwell B. Esselstyn Jr., T. Colin
Campbell, Dean Ornish, and John A. McDoughall are in agreement with
the above assessment on the role of diet on health. Neal Barnard and
Michael Greger are recent advocates, as well. Each of these men holds
medical degrees or PhDs in nutrition. For further information, their
presence is ubiquitous on the Internet. Ellen White, ahead of her time
as usual, stated more than a hundred years ago that “grains, fruits, nuts,
and vegetables constitute the diet chosen for us by our Creator.”—The
Ministry of Healing, p. 296.
Often, we don’t like to be told what to eat. The current mantra is
“I’d rather eat what I want and die happy.” But those who eat “what
they want,” ignoring a healthful diet, often don’t die happy. Instead,
they die of long-drawn-out debilitating diseases or sudden premature
death, as the U.S. report shows. Of course, sometimes disease and death
are completely out of our control. But as Dr. Kim Williams, president
of the American College of Cardiology, a man who abstains from all
animal products, explains: “I don’t mind dying; I just don’t want it to
be my fault.”—Jason Kelly, “Heal Thyself,” The University of Chicago
Magazine, http://mag.uchicago.edu/science-medicine/heal-thyself. Both
David and Hezekiah see death as something to avoid. Why? Because
praise to God ceases at death (Isa. 38:18, Ps. 115:17). Encourage the
class to realize that the simple (but sometimes difficult) step of chang-
ing one’s food habits is crucial for preparing for a long life of health and
happiness in the Lord.
Wisdom Illustration
“Grandpa B” was a successful man. He retired wealthy and spent his
closing years playing golf and enjoying the amenities of an upper-class
retirement community. During a rare family gathering, Grandpa B’s
adult grandchildren, including Joseph, gathered around him and asked if
he could tell them what he had learned in his 80 years of life. After a few
uncomfortable moments, it was obvious that Joseph’s grandfather had
no wisdom to pass on to his progeny. Afterward, Joseph and his cousins
talked of a life that had been spent in acquiring wealth at the expense of
41
teachers comments
relationships and wisdom. Their grandfather’s life was a reminder that

the richest legacy one can pass on to the next generation is a wisdom
sourced in “the fear of the Lord” (Ps. 111:10) and a model of godly liv-
ing. Wisdom such as this cannot be acquired at the last minute; it has to
be lived out for years. Encourage the class to understand that now is the
time to acquire such an experience.
The famed journalist Malcolm Muggeridge, who lived a rather disso-
lute life, came to Christ in his later years. His words are the wise counsel
that need to be passed on to, and heeded by, the next generation so that
the rest of us don’t get to the end of earthly sojourn and realize we’ve
wasted our lives. “I may, I suppose, regard myself as a relatively success-
ful man. People occasionally stare at me in the streets; that’s fame. I can
fairly easily earn enough money to qualify for admission to the higher
slopes of the Internal Revenue Service. That’s success. Furnished with
money and a little fame, even the elderly, if they care to, may partake of
friendly diversions. That’s pleasure. It might happen once in a while that
something I said or wrote was sufficiently heeded for me to persuade
myself that it represented a serious impact on our time. That’s fulfill-
ment. Yet, I say to you, and I beg you to believe me, multiply these tiny
triumphs by millions, add them all up together, and they are nothing, less
than nothing. Indeed, a positive impediment measured against one drop
of that living water Christ offers to the spiritually thirsty, irrespective of
who or what they are.”—In Ravi Zacharias, Can Man Live Without God
(Nashville: W Publishing Group, 1994), p. 116.
If possible, seek out some long-lived, sage men and women who are
willing to share with the class some godly gems of wisdom they’ve
learned.

Some steps for preparing for marriage, parenting, and old age are the
same. First, read all the counsels, proverbs, and stories in the Bible on
those topics. Second, read Christian-based, extrabiblical material from
authors who specialize in those areas. Next, interview/dialogue with
married couples, parents, and elderly individuals in order to receive the
clearest picture possible of those events.
Another practical step is to “count the cost” (Luke 14:28, ESV). This
step applies directly to each person, whether marriage and parenting
are in one’s future, and, indirectly, to old age and death. Consider such
questions as:
1. There are elderly people right now in their 70s and 80s who are
backpacking up mountains, and there are elderly people of the
42
teachers comments
same age who are struggling up a flight of stairs. What lifestyle

changes do I need to adopt today to give me the best chances of
optimal health for those later years?
2. Having children is a tremendous blessing (Ps. 127:3–5)—but also

a sacrifice of one’s time, resources, and energy. The moment they
are born there is an ever-present concern over their safety, devel-
opment, well-being, and salvation. All planning, moving, and
spontaneity become significantly more complex. The love bond
we have with children makes it all worth it in the moment, but all
too many fail to ask the important question of whether children
coincide well with the life direction in which the Lord is leading
them.
43
When Alone
Sabbath Afternoon
Read for This Week’s Study: Eccles. 4:9–12, Phil. 4:11–13,
1 Cor. 7:25–34, Matt. 19:8, Gen. 37:34, Isa. 54:5.
Memory Text: “And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man
should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him’ ”
(Genesis 2:18, NKJV).
A
fascinating yet painful story made the news years ago. A young
woman had been found dead in her apartment. Though the
death was tragic itself, what made the story worse was that the
woman had been dead for more than 10 years before being found. Ten
years! Thus, the question that people had asked, and rightly so, was:
How in a big city like this, with so many people, and with so many
means of communication, could a woman, who was not a street person,
have been dead for so long and no one know?
Though extreme, this story is an example of a reality: many people
are suffering from loneliness. In 2016, The New York Times ran an
article entitled “Researchers Confront an Epidemic of Loneliness.” The
problem is real.
From the start, we as human beings were not meant to be alone. From
Eden onward, we were to live in fellowship with other human beings to
some degree or another. Of course, sin came in, and nothing has been
right since then. This week we will look at the question of companion-
ship and loneliness at the various times of life that, perhaps, all of us
have at some time faced. If not, then count yourself fortunate.
44
S unday April 21
Companionship
Read Ecclesiastes 4:9–12. What’s the basic idea there? What principle
of life is it talking about in general?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Very few of us can make it alone. Even if we are loners and like being
alone, sooner or later we not only want some companionship but might
even require it, especially in times of need. We were, indeed, made for
community, for fellowship. How fortunate are those who have close family
members who can give comfort and support, especially in times of need.
Unfortunately, there are people in our church, where we work, in the com-
munities where we live, who have no one to turn to, not just in their time
of need but even for some conversation at the end of the day. The sense of
loneliness can come at any time. “The hardest day for me,” an unmarried
man said, “is Sunday. During the week I am surrounded by people at work.
On Sabbath I see people at church. But on Sunday I am all alone.”
What principles can we all learn from the following passages, par-
ticularly when we may be going through a time of loneliness? John
16:32, 33; Phil. 4:11–13.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Yes, as Christians we have not only the reality of God but the reality
of being able to fellowship with God. And we can, indeed, draw com-
fort from the closeness of God to us. But the closeness of God to Adam
in Eden didn’t stop the Lord from saying, “ ‘It is not good that man
should be alone’ ” (Gen. 2:18, NKJV). Thus, God knew that Adam,
even when he had fellowship with God in a world undamaged by sin,
still needed human companionship. How much more, then, do the rest
of us need companionship, as well.
We need to be careful, too, of assuming that just because there are a
lot of people around, a person cannot be lonely. Some of the loneliest
people live in big cities where they often have interaction with others.
Just being around other bodies doesn’t mean someone cannot feel alone
and alienated and in need of fellowship.
It’s not always easy to know who is feeling lonely, alienated, or
rejected, or who is just plain hurting and in need of someone, if
nothing else, just to talk to. How can you proactively seek to be
more sensitive to whomever those people might be?
45
M onday April 22
The Unmarried Life

A young woman told of the advantages of not being married: “Twice
I had the opportunity to go serve in the mission field, and I responded
without any hesitation.” A married person, with a family, might have
had to take a little more time making that decision because it doesn’t
just involve them but also their spouse and children.
What are, according to Paul, good reasons for remaining unmarried?

1 Cor. 7:25–34, NKJV.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Most people think that being married is God’s will for them. Didn’t
He say, “ ‘It is not good that man should be alone?’ ” And yet, we have
many examples in the Bible of people who were not married, including
the greatest example of all, Jesus Christ.
Jeremiah was told not to marry (Jer. 16:1–3); it was a judgment on a
historical situation. We don’t know if that restriction was ever removed,
but it is clear that Jeremiah was a great prophet while he was single.
Ezekiel’s wife died suddenly. God took away this important person
in his life to convey a hard lesson about the situation of His people. He
was not even allowed to mourn but was to continue on with the ministry
the Lord had assigned him (Ezek. 24:15–18). The prophet Hosea also
experienced a broken marriage but was able to continue in ministry.
While the story seems strange to us, God told him to go marry a pros-
titute whom God knew would leave Hosea for other men (Hosea 1–3).
Looking back, we can see God trying to illustrate the one-sided love
that He has for Israel and for us, but it must have been extremely hard
and painful for Hosea to be the object lesson.
In each of these examples, marital status was not an issue. God was
interested in the person’s integrity, obedience, and ability to say what
God wanted him to say. We need to be sure that our life is not defined
by our marital condition. Many voices today will tell us that unless we
are married we are not complete. Paul would respond, “Don’t be like
the people of this world.” Instead, “offer your bodies to him as a living
sacrifice, pure and pleasing” (Rom. 12:1, 2, CEV).
What are practical ways you can minister to those who are
unmarried, both church members and non-church members?
_____________________________________________________
46
T uesday April 23
When a Marriage Ends

Of all the ways sin has devastated humanity, with the exception of
physical suffering and death, what has faced more devastating conse-
quences from sin than the family? It’s almost as if the phrase “dys-
functional family” is redundant. What family isn’t, to some degree,
dysfunctional?
Outside of death, one of the hardest things a family can face is a
divorce. People going through this terrible experience run a gamut of
emotions. Probably the first and most common is grief, which, depend-
ing on the individuals, may last for several months to several years with
different intensity. Some may experience fear—fear of the unknown,
financial anxieties, and fear of being unable to cope. Some may go
through a period of depression, anger, and, yes—loneliness.
What broad principles concerning divorce can we gather from the fol-
lowing verses? Mal. 2:16; Matt. 5:31, 32; 19:8; 1 Cor. 7:11–13.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
“The Church as a redemptive agency of Christ is to minister to its
members in all of their needs and to nurture everyone so that all may
grow into a mature Christian experience. This is particularly true when
members face lifelong decisions such as marriage and distressful
experiences such as divorce. When a couple’s marriage is in danger
of breaking down, every effort should be made by the partners and
those in the church or family who minister to them to bring about their
reconciliation in harmony with divine principles for restoring wounded
relationships (Hosea 3:1–3; 1 Cor. 7:10, 11; 13:4–7; Gal. 6:1).
“Resources that can be of assistance to members in the development
of a strong Christian home are available through the church or other
church organizations. These resources include: (1) programs of orienta-
tion for couples engaged to be married, (2) programs of instruction for
married couples with their families, and (3) programs of support for
broken families and divorced individuals.”—The Seventh-day Adventist
Church Manual, 19th edition (Nampa, Idaho: Pacific Press Publishing
Association, 2016), p. 161.
What are practical and nonjudgmental ways you can help some-
one going through divorce?
_____________________________________________________
47
W ednesday April 24
Death and Loneliness

Someone once asked the question: What’s the difference between
humans and chickens in regard to the question of death? The answer
is that, unlike chickens, who die, we humans, who die, too, know that
we will die. Chickens don’t. And it’s this knowledge of our impending
death that greatly impacts how we live now.
As we know, all relationships, including marriage, sooner or later
come to an end in our greatest enemy: death. No matter how close a
union, no matter the great love, the deep companionship, the time spent
together, as human beings we (unlike chickens) know that sooner or
later death will come (unless Jesus returns beforehand), and when it
does, all our relationships will cease. This has been our fate from the
first sin and will be so until the return of Jesus.
The Bible doesn’t tell us which of the two, Adam or Eve, died first,
but it must have been particularly painful for the other one, especially
since death was never supposed to be part of life to begin with. If, as
we saw in an earlier lesson, the death of a single leaf caused them to
mourn, who could imagine what they went through with a death of a
spouse?
The problem is that we are so used to death that we just take it for
granted. But it was never supposed to be something that we as humans
experienced. Hence, even to this day, we struggle to make sense of it,
when so often we just can’t.
What do the following texts teach us about death and about how
people struggle with it? Isa. 57:1; Rev. 21:4; 1 Thess. 4:17, 18; Matt.
5:4; 2 Sam. 18:33; Gen. 37:34.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
No question: not only do we all face the reality of our own death,
we face the reality of the death of others, of loved ones, of maybe our
closest companion. Hence, sooner or later, many of us will face a time,
a season, of loneliness brought about by the death of someone else. It’s
hard, it hurts, and at such times we can, and often must, just claim the
promises of God. After all, in this world of sin, suffering, and death,
what else do we have?
How can your church help those whom you know are suffering
loneliness from the death of a loved one?
48
T hursday April 25
Spiritually Single
A young woman named Natalie had been married for seven years
when, at the invitation of a friend, she attended an evangelistic series
at a local Seventh-day Adventist church. Convicted by what she
learned, she surrendered her heart to Christ, had a new-birth experi-
ence, and—despite the strenuous objections of her husband, parents,
in-laws, even her next-door neighbor—Natalie joined the Seventh-
day Adventist Church. She also adjusted her lifestyle, to every degree
possible, to her newfound faith.
As one could imagine, she faced a great deal of pushback; what
made it especially hard was her husband, who argued from his point
if view: “This is not what I signed up for when we got married. You
are a whole new person, and I want the old one back.”
For years now, she has been struggling to live a life of faith. Though
married, she is what we could call “spiritually single.”
What encouraging words do we find in the following verses for those

who may feel spiritually single? Isa. 54:5; Hos. 2:19, 20; Ps. 72:12.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
All over the world, there are “Natalies” in our church. These people,
men or women, are married but attend church alone or only with their
children. They may have married a person of a different faith. Or per-
haps when they joined the church, their spouse did not. Or when mar-
ried, both were members of the church—but one, for whatever reason,
dropped out, stopped coming, and might even be hostile to the faith.
These men and woman come alone to church and to the meal after the
worship service or go alone to the outreach or social activities of the
church. They are saddened when they cannot contribute financially to
the church’s ministry as much as they would like because their spouse
does not agree to do so. Though married, they might feel spiritually
like a widow or a widower.
We probably all, at some time or another, have met people like this
in the church, and they do need our love and support.
What practical things can we, as a church family, do to help the

spiritually single in our midst?
_____________________________________________________
49
F riday April 26
Further Thought: “In the midst of a life of active labor, Enoch

steadfastly maintained his communion with God. The greater and
more pressing his labors, the more constant and earnest were his
prayers. He continued to exclude himself at certain periods from all
society. After remaining for a time among the people, laboring to
benef it them by instruction and example, he would withdraw, to spend
a season in solitude, hungering and thirsting for that divine knowledge
which God alone can impart. Communing thus with God, Enoch came
more and more to reflect the divine image. His face was radiant with a
holy light, even the light that shineth in the face of Jesus. As he came
forth from these divine communings, even the ungodly beheld with
awe the impress of heaven upon his countenance.”—Ellen G. White,
Gospel Workers, p. 52. Though the story of Enoch here is encouraging
and has something powerful to say about those who choose to have
times of solitude, many face a solitude they don’t ask for. They don’t
want to be alone. Yes, we can always have a joyful communion with
the Lord, who is ever-present, but sometimes we crave human com-
panionship and fellowship. How crucial that we, as a church, be ready
to reach out to those who might be sitting right next to us on Sabbath
each week, yet who are going through a terrible season of loneliness.
At the same time, if you are going through such a time, seek out some-
one whom you feel that you can trust at church (or elsewhere) and let
them know. Many times people simply cannot tell by looking at some-
one what they are going through. It’s easy, at least for some people, to
hide behind a mask.
 How can your church learn to be more sensitive to the needs of
the lonely in your midst?
 “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in what-

ever state I am, to be content” (Phil. 4:11, NKJV). Read the larger
context of Paul’s words here. How can we learn to apply these to
ourselves? At the same time, why must we be very careful in how
we quote this passage to someone who truly is hurting?
 In class, talk about a time you went through severe loneliness.

What helped you? What hurt you? What did you learn that could
be a help to others?
50
i n s i d e
Story
Division President
Baptizes Father
Samuel Saw, president of the Seventh-day Adventist Church’s Southern
Asia-Pacific Division, grew up without a relationship with his father.
The two never spent time together in their home country of Myanmar. They
didn’t talk about things.
“He never hugged me,” Saw said. “I was a boy without a father.”
Saw, who was raised by his grandparents, went on to study in an Adventist
school and graduate as a pastor from the Myanmar Union Adventist Seminary
in Myaungmya, a city of 280,000 people located about 140 miles (225 kilo-
meters) west of Myanmar’s capital, Yangon.
Church work was challenging in the southeast Asian country where just
four percent of the population is Christian. Buddhists account for about 90
percent of the population, and Muslims comprise 4 percent.
As a pastor, Saw told many people, “Reach out to your non-Christian
family and other relatives.” But he never reached out to his own father.
Saw got married, had two children, and served as a pastor and church
administrator in Thailand, Singapore, and the Philippines.
While serving as executive secretary of the Southern Asia-Pacific Division,
Saw attended a Week of Prayer that prompted him to think hard about his
father. He shared his childhood story with the speaker, and the two men
prayed together.
“You’ve got to reach out to your own father,” the speaker said.
Saw prayed to God to give him strength. He felt pain when he thought about
his father, and he lacked a desire to connect with him. He kept praying—
and the unexpected happened.
“I was privileged to baptize my own father at the age of 76,” Saw said.
Saw still remembers what his father said afterward.
“Son,” the elderly man said, “I want to be a Christian who goes to church
with a songbook and the Bible in my hand. Please buy a songbook and a Bible
for me, so I can carry them to church.”
Saw choked up with emotion as he remembered his father emerging from
the water of the baptismal tank and wrapping his arms around him.
“It was the first time that he hugged me in my whole
life,” he said.
In 2016, Saw was elected president of the Southern Asia-
Pacific Division, whose territory of 14 countries includes
Myanmar. He encourages others to ask God for help to over-
come bitterness and hurt.
“We are just human beings without God’s transforming power,” he
said. “But with His power, we can be a difference to the world.”
teachers comments
Part I: Overview
At some point in our lives we will taste how it feels to be painfully alone.
How do we manage those moments? The questions can be desperate:
“Where is everybody? Will I always be alone? Where is God?” This
week’s lesson tracks our need for companionship all the way back to
Eden, where God created not one person but two.
Aloneness can emerge anytime in our lives no matter where we are or
what we are doing. But it can be particularly acute in certain contexts:
being single, living the Christian life with a non-Christian spouse, being
divorced, or losing a loved one. The lesson offers biblical perspectives
on these moments and encourages the church to be active in identifying
lonely people. The challenge is to minister to those hurting by connect-
ing with them and connecting them with the Lord. No one need feel
alone in the body of Christ. In fact, all those in Christ who are separated
from others for any reason (broken relationships, disability, distance,
death) possess the consoling hope that there will one day be a grand
reunion in which the word lonely will become obsolete.
Ultimately, God is the answer to human aloneness. Even human rela-
tionships, in order to have the healthiest expression possible, require
God’s presence. Perhaps there are stalwarts who feel that they can
manage life totally alone, without God or others—that all they need is
themselves. The journal of a young man who sought to live totally alone
in Alaska should cause those who choose isolation over companionship
to pause. Chris McCandless, who after living close to a hundred days
by himself in a remote corner of the U.S. state of Alaska, wrote his
epiphany in a journal before he died of starvation: “HAPPINESS ONLY
REAL WHEN SHARED.”—In Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild (New York:
Anchor Books, 1996), p. 189. It is the sharing of our lives with God and
with one another that enriches all life’s experiences.
Part II: Commentary

Scripture
The first problem solved on earth was not that of sin, but of being
alone (Gen. 2:18). After nine instances of the Hebrew tov (good) in the
Creation and Eden story, there is finally something that is lo-tov (not
good) in Paradise. “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Gen.
2:18).
Interestingly, the phrase lo-tov (not good) is not invoked again until
52
teachers comments
Jethro admonishes Moses. Again, the issue surrounds aloneness. The

burden of the people is too heavy for Moses. So Jethro bluntly says,
“ ‘What you are doing is not good. . . . You are not able to do it alone’ ”
(Exod. 18:17, 18, ESV). Reality, especially after sin’s entrance, is often
too overwhelming to bear alone. Nor is it in God’s blueprint for humanity
that we do so.
Aloneness in Eden was more than the loneliness that we have all
experienced at some point, though it includes it. Adam’s aloneness in
some ways is closer to that of being isolated on an island deprived of
human engagement of any kind. Given that Eve also was created on the
sixth day, Adam’s experience of being the sole human on earth was brief
but just long enough to accentuate his appreciation of his newly created
companion.
All too often the story of Adam and Eve is reduced to a commentary
on marriage. The aspect of being alone that it contains is relegated
exclusively to the singleness of unmarried life. But Eve’s creation didn’t
solve a singleness problem. It solved a human aloneness problem. Eve
was not only a wife; she was friend, coworker (Gen. 1:28), spiritual
companion, and the locus of Adam’s social life, as he was to hers. This
fact is good news for the unmarried. Many may have been burdened by
the divine proclamation “It is not good that the man should be alone”
(Gen. 2:18) and received it as a virtual condemnation of single life.
Not true. We may be single and yet not be alone, because of the human
presence of family, friends, and acquaintances at our homes, churches,
and places of work.
Aloneness also rears its head in the temptation and Fall. There is
disagreement among scholars as to whether Adam was present with
Eve during the serpent’s temptation. The argument that he was present
revolves around two points: the text speaking of Eve’s eating the fruit
and giving some to her husband “with her” (Gen. 3:6) and the serpent
using plural verbs as if he is talking to more than one person. In support
of Adam’s absence, he is conspicuously absent from the dialogue, and
appears neither as the subject or object of any sentence in the narration.
There is an exclusive verbal volley between Eve and the serpent: “He
[the serpent] said unto the woman” (Gen. 3:1, 4) and “The woman said
unto the serpent” (Gen. 3:2). The controversial phrase “with her” can be
understood in a relational rather than spatial context as in the way Adam
retold events to God, “The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she
gave me of the tree, and I did eat” (Gen. 3:12). Obviously, “with me”
in Adam’s words means “with me as my companion,” and “with her” in
the narrator’s words likely means the same thing. As far as the serpent
using plural verbs and pronouns, this diction shows that Satan’s target
was both Adam and Eve. The use of plurals would make it all the more
surprising that Adam didn’t speak up if he were indeed there. For a brief
53
teachers comments
study of the subject, see Elias Brasil de Souza, Was Adam With Eve at
the Scene of Temptation? A Short Note on “With Her” in Genesis 3:6.
Just as aloneness was not ideal at Creation, it was a liability in temp-
tation. We can conclude that “it was not good for the woman” to be
alone either. Could the Fall have been prevented simply by Adam and
Eve staying together? Perhaps so. Ellen G. White says, “The angels had
cautioned Eve to beware of separating herself from her husband while
occupied in their daily labor in the garden; with him she would be in
less danger from temptation than if she were alone.”—Patriarchs and
Prophets, p. 53. A faith community, even if it consists of two people,
provides spiritual strength and accountability.
When the Lord approached Adam and Eve after their sin, they did
one of the most disappointing yet profound actions in Scripture: they
“hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God” (Gen. 3:8). Sin
created a self-damaging condition: a desire to live alone without God.
But He is not so easily deterred, and the prophetic pleas of the Hebrew
prophets testify to that fact. God culminated His pursuit of lost humanity
with the Incarnation of His Son Immanuel, God with us (Matt. 1:23).
The Incarnation echoes the Eden account. After sin has ravaged the
world, God sees that it is “not good” for man to “be alone” (Gen. 2:18);
so He sends a “helper,” one “corresponding to” him.—Patriarchs and
Prophets, p. 46. The word for “helper” in the Septuagint (Greek transla-
tion of the Old Testament) in Genesis 2:18 (boethos) is the same word
in Hebrews 13:6: “The Lord is my helper.” But instead of succumbing to
the “serpent’s” temptations (Matt. 4:1–11), Jesus “resisted to the point
of shedding [His] blood” (Heb. 12:4, ESV), so that one day we could all
hear a “great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God
is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people,
and God himself shall be with them, and be their God” (Rev. 21:3), never
to be alone again.
Reflection
Some have wondered, “If God is so great, why isn’t His companionship
sufficient to meet all of Adam’s needs, precluding the necessity for the
creation of another?” It’s a question worth pondering, but experience
shows that the question can be turned on its head. The fact that God
is all-sufficient for us individually anticipates and prepares us to enter
into relationships with others. In this way, our approach to human rela-
tionships will come from a posture of wholeness rather than from one
of neediness or desperation. Often others, especially romantic partners,
are unconsciously pursued to fill needs that only the Creator can satisfy.
54
teachers comments
Best to have the water that, once taken, Jesus says will prevent one from
ever being thirsty again (John 4:14, ESV). Why? Because it becomes a
“spring of water” in the individual. Jesus and/or His message is that water.
Without it, relationships can become skewed, or worse, idolatrous.
The previous insight is at the root of handling the various aloneness sce-
narios in the lesson: being unmarried, losing a spouse to divorce or death,
being spiritually single. The specific way of handling these diverse experi-
ences is unique. Though they can be extremely difficult, they are made
bearable by the knowledge that we have a God who is present (Acts 17:27),
who sees what we are going through (Gen. 16:13), and who promises never
to leave us (Deut. 31:6, Matt. 28:20).

The degree to which we are utterly convinced of the Christian worldview,
with a deeply invested and personal God at its center, is the degree to which
despairing aloneness can be mitigated. We’ve all felt alone at times. There
is nothing wrong, per se, with that experience. But if God is real to us, we
should be able to testify to the buffering of that aloneness with a sense of
God’s presence. Testifying to this fact may help people in your Sabbath
School right now. Give them opportunity to share experiences of how God
moved in their lives during times of loneliness. Here are some other ques-
tions that challenge us to think of the intersection between God, us, alone-
ness, and church:
1. Philosopher and theologian Abraham Heschel entitled his two

books on the philosophy of religion Man Is Not Alone and God in
Search of Man. Is it not more difficult to feel alone when one believes
that he or she is being passionately pursued by another? In what
ways have you seen God pursuing you in your life?
55
teachers comments
2. As societies around the world race toward secularism, more and

more people view the world in exclusively naturalistic terms
(only nature and nature’s laws exist, to the exclusion of the super-
natural or God). This view comes at a price. If naturalism is true,
we are truly alone in this universe. How can the Christian lever-
age the existential despair that naturalism produces in order to
point people to God?
3. Whereas the world frequently isolates people based on appear-

ances, ethnicity, and social and economic class, the church is
called to lovingly embrace these same people (Gal. 3:28). How
can a local church organize itself so that people struggling with
loneliness don’t slip through the cracks?
56
L esson 5 *April 27–May 3
Wise Words for Families
Sabbath Afternoon
Read for This Week’s Study: Prov. 5:3–14; Matt. 19:5;
1 Cor. 7:3, 4; Prov. 13:22; 14:26; 23:13, 14; 17:22; 31:10–31.
Memory Text: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not
on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and
He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5, 6, NKJV).
W
hatever phase of life we are in now, we all, of course, started
out with a mother and a father, regardless of the kind of
relationship, if any at all, that we had with them after our
birth. On the other hand, some people, other than having siblings or
other relatives, never have a family of their own—other than the one
they grew up in.
Whatever our situation, whatever our phase of life, the book of
Proverbs contains a combination of instructions, poems, questions, and
wise sayings. Family relationships are directly addressed, and other
words of wisdom can be applied to the home. Proverbs is, in fact, cast
as a family document, in which keys to a godly life are handed down
from parent to child. Just as parents might write a letter of advice to a
son or daughter going to college, setting up their separate dwelling, or
taking a job away from home, so Proverbs is addressed from father to
son: “My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake
the law of your mother” (Prov. 1:8, NKJV). Deuteronomy directed
parents to share their convictions with the next generation. This is what
Proverbs does. In the father’s summons, we hear the voice of our heav-
enly Father calling us to learn.
* Study this week’s lesson to prepare for Sabbath, May 4.
57
S unday April 28
Love the Right Woman

List the problems and consequences involved with a sexual liaison
before marriage or an extramarital affair as depicted in Proverbs
5:3–14.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
The godly person reserves (if not married) and preserves (if mar-
ried) his or her deepest affections and sexual intimacy for marriage.
Men are specifically addressed in Proverbs, but the same idea as
it relates to women is expressed in the Song of Solomon (compare
Song of Sol. 4:12–15). The powerful attraction of illicit love must be
weighed against the horrific consequences of this sin. Casual sexual
liaisons lack commitment and, therefore, fall far short of true inti-
macy. Material, physical, and emotional resources are squandered.
Most important, one must answer to God for the choices made in life.
Sexual intimacy, one of God’s greatest gifts to humans, is a
privilege of marriage only (Matt. 19:5; 1 Cor. 7:3, 4; Heb. 13:4).
In Proverbs, the imagery of nourishing, plentiful water is used as a
delicate symbol of the pleasure and satisfaction a married couple
ought to obtain in their love together. This is contrasted with the
waste that results when there is unfaithfulness. The expression “the
wife of your youth” (Prov. 5:18, NKJV) indicates that even when
the two grow older, their commitment is to continue. A husband is
still ravished (“intoxicated” [Prov. 5:19, NIV]) by his wife’s charms.
In the human fallen condition, sexual instincts can lure individu-
als away from the divine design for sexuality. However, God also
has given humanity the power to reason and to choose. These temp-
tations, if not continually suppressed, can become overwhelming. A
firm commitment to the divine design for sexuality in marriage can
prevent the development of illicit sexual relationships. The choice
of lifelong faithfulness to God’s design for sexuality in marriage not
only is prudent but carries its own bountiful rewards.
If you knew someone struggling with sexual temptations that

could destroy a marriage, what counsel would you give that
person?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
58
M onday April 29
A Call to Fathers
Note the character qualities of fathers described in Proverbs that can
have long-term consequences for children:
Prov. 13:22; 27:23, 24
Prov. 14:26
Prov. 15:1, 18; 16:32
Prov. 15:27
Prov. 29:17
The characters of fathers have a direct impact on their children and the
legacy they pass on to them. Children look to their fathers for support,
devoted affection, guidance, and modeling. Proverbs lauds those fathers
who are reliable providers and wise managers of family resources. Many are
the ways in which “the greedy bring ruin to their household” (Prov. 15:27,
NIV); fathers must be mindful to give priority to family over work. Godly
fathers seek to be patient and in command of their emotions. They respect
their children’s dependence upon them. They discipline their children but are
careful not to abuse their position of authority. Most important, dedicated
fathers want to follow God, to be controlled by His love and by the teaching
of His Word, that they might guide the feet of their children in the right way.
In the end, the most important thing a father can do for his children is
to love their mother. His faithfulness and continuing affection for her, or
the lack of these, have a telling effect upon children’s well-being even into
adulthood.
In Proverbs, loyalty to God, commitment to marriage and family, and
integrity in one’s personal and community life are key themes. Success in
everything depends upon the condition of the individual heart. The attrac-
tions of sin—whether sex, sloth, wealth, or power—abound, but the wise
husband and father looks to God for help to make right choices continually.
How are the moral principles expressed here important for any-
one, whether or not a father? How have your actions, either for
good or bad, impacted others, especially children? In what ways
might you need to be more careful?
59
T uesday April 30
Correction With Love

What does Proverbs teach about the importance of discipline and cor-
rection of a child? Prov. 10:17; 23:13, 14; 29:1, 15.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Parents sometimes discipline their children to impress upon them
what is socially unacceptable behavior, to punish for disobedience, or
even to express their displeasure when embarrassed. But what is God’s
intention regarding discipline for these young members of His family?
Proverbs sets discipline in the context of hope for the future (Prov.
19:18). Godly parents know that children have a sinful nature. Only one
power can help them with this, and this power is Christ (see Ellen G.
White, Education, p. 29). The mission of Christian parenting, including
discipline, is to lead children to God.
Supporting a tender plant. Through Christ discipline is seen not as
punishment, nor as an expression of authority, but as redemptive cor-
rection. God’s plan is that loving parents, knowing the strength of sin,
guide their children’s footsteps to Christ. Caring parents correct kindly
and firmly, restraining and guiding children through the early years
much as a horticulturalist provides support to a newly planted tree, until
self-control emerges and a youth comes to trust in God and cooperates
with the divine plan for salvation, growth, and maturity.
What message for parents is found in Proverbs 13:24; 23:13, 14?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
All told, just a few verses mention the “rod” (Heb. shebet) in the
context of disciplining children. Popular within Christian parenting
literature is the notion that parental use of the rod should be like that
of the heavenly Shepherd who uses it to guide His flock (Ps. 23:4).
Elsewhere, Scripture points to patient teaching, consistent modeling,
good communication, and close relationships for influencing change
in children (Deut. 11:18, 19). The child’s feeling of being loved by his
or her parents is vital if discipline is to have its desired effect of being
corrective and redemptive (Prov. 13:24).
When discipline has missed its intended purpose by being too

harsh or misunderstood, how can parents set matters right with
their children?
60
W ednesday May 1
Is Life Better on a Rooftop?

In what way does the book of Proverbs sprinkle humor on some of the
irritations in domestic living? Prov. 21:9, 19; 27:15, 16. What effect
does this humor have?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
A number of the proverbs consider the ways we treat each other in
close relationships. They make their point with a light touch and a flash
of wit, like the ones about the insensitive friend who “sings songs to a
heavy heart” (Prov. 25:20, NKJV) and the early-rising family member
who “blesses” sleepers “with a loud voice” (Prov. 27:14, NKJV). Wives
reading these verses about contentious women may want to add some
“proverbs” about men! They may retort that such sayings perpetuate
the very problem of these proverbs by targeting only women when hus-
bands, who share responsibility for the home atmosphere, are equally
capable of contentious behavior. (Imagine what it must have been like
living in the home of Caiaphas or Annas!)
A merry heart helps. Having a sense of humor in family living is a good
thing. Humor lubricates the machinery of living, helping to reduce stresses
and strains. “A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit
dries the bones” (Prov. 17:22, NKJV). Proverbs takes some of its own
medicine throughout the book and gives us permission to chuckle at a few
of the behaviors that annoy and irritate. Perhaps when we have smiled (or
smarted a bit if the joke is on us), we are in a better place to talk about
habits or behaviors that irritate or annoy us. On the other hand, humor
should not be used to minimize or bypass issues that need serious attention.
A low-grade fever may be symptomatic of a chronic infection.
Quarreling, nagging, and complaining may signal that there is sup-
pressed anger in one or more family members, perhaps related to
difficulties with mutuality or communication in the relationship. The
complaining partner tries to offset the perceived power, control, and
unwillingness to communicate of another. If the infection is cleared
up, the symptoms will go away. In families, rather than avoiding the
problem or one another, members build on their love for the Lord and
their commitment to one another by communicating their needs and
feelings, getting to the root of their anger, and clearing it up.
Why is laughter so important for the home? How can it be used

for good, or how can it be perverted and used for evil? Bring your
answer to class.
61
T hursday May 2
A Truly Wealthy Wife

The book of Proverbs closes with praise for a wife of noble character.
Identify the characteristics and qualities that are lauded. Prov.
31:10–31.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
The woman described is special, and so is the poetry. Each of the
verses starting from Proverbs 31:10 begins with one of the 22 letters of
the Hebrew alphabet. One senses from this tribute to a worthy wife that
even the whole national alphabet barely provides a sufficient frame-
work to extol her properly!
Proverbs’ emphasis on marrying a good partner is reflected in a dictum
of the rabbis: “A man’s home is his wife.” “A wife of noble character is
her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones”
(Prov. 12:4, NIV). Here, at the end of the proverbs, rolled idealistically
into a portrait of one, are many varied skills: clothing manufacture, buy-
ing real estate, agriculture, home and financial management. Meanwhile,
she cares well for her family. They love her and praise her.
These extensive talents are not to be expected in every woman, nor
are they a blueprint whereby husbands should measure their wives.
Rather, through describing these capabilities and qualities, Proverbs
conveys what is most important and universally relevant for women, as
well as for men: the traits of trustworthiness, compassion, reliability,
faithfulness, kindness, and industry. The secret of such a life, according
to Proverbs 31:30, is that she “fears the Lord” (NKJV).
In Proverbs 31:10 the word for “virtuous,” or “of noble charac-
ter” (NIV), means “strength,” “might,” or “wealth.” It is translated as
“riches” in Psalm 62:10 and describes Joshua’s “men of valour” (Josh.
1:14; emphasis added). Boaz commends Ruth with the word virtu-
ous (Ruth 3:11). In Proverbs 31:10 there is a play on the concept of
“wealth.” True wealth lies in character, integrity, and the fear of the
Lord. This vastly exceeds the worth to be found in precious stones.
Who are some of the women of valor and virtue who have influ-
enced your life? How would you expand the list of character
qualities, virtues, and capacities of godly women?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
62
F riday May 3
Further Thought: Keeping the heart in heaven. “Christians should

be careful that they keep the heart with all diligence. They should culti-
vate a love for meditation, and cherish a spirit of devotion. Many seem
to begrudge moments spent in meditation, and the searching of the
Scriptures, and prayer, as though the time thus occupied was lost. I wish
you could all view these things in the light God would have you; for you
would then make the kingdom of heaven of the first importance. To keep
your heart in heaven, will give vigor to all your graces, and put life into
all your duties. To discipline the mind to dwell upon heavenly things,
will put life and earnestness into all our endeavors. . . . We are dwarfs in
spiritual attainments. . . . [Eph. 4:13].”—Ellen G. White Comments, The
SDA Bible Commentary, vol. 3, p. 1157.
 Many Christians find a support group network helpful as
they seek to “guard their hearts” against temptation. In what way
might this augment prayer, Bible study, and reliance on the Holy
Spirit? In some cases, why might it be a good idea to seek profes-
sional help if someone really struggles with temptations that do
lead them into sin, and they seem unable to stop?
 As a class, read your answers aloud to Wednesday’s final ques-

tion. Discuss the implications of your various answers. As with
so many of the wonderful things that God has given us, how can
laughter and humor be perverted and twisted into being some-
thing actually harmful?
 In contrast to Proverbs 31, what qualities does contemporary

culture tend to exalt in women? How can we as individuals protect
ourselves from partaking of that same degrading attitude?
 In general, what are some of the cultural attitudes about family

life in your society that directly conflict with biblical principles of
family life? On the other hand, are there some cultural attitudes
that parallel biblical principles? If so, what are they, and how can
they be used to strengthen our families?
63
i n s i d e
Story
Baby Is Coming!
A physician praying to be used by God after hearing a Sabbath sermon
about mission work in the cities unexpectedly delivered a baby in the park-
ing lot of the Seventh-day Adventist world church’s U.S. headquarters.
Dr. Yvette C. Ross Hebron delivered a healthy baby boy in the car of the
parents, who had been rushing to the hospital but pulled into the church’s
parking lot in Silver Spring, Maryland, after getting lost.
Ross Hebron said she believed God arranged the events.
“The most wonderful opportunity in response to our prayers was orches-
trated by the Master,” she said.
Ross Hebron began praying about how to do more to serve God after
hearing Adventist Church president Ted N. C. Wilson preach during the
2017 Annual Council business meetings at the church’s General Conference
headquarters. The church leader had appealed for a renewed effort to reach
people in the cities and spoke of the need for physicians and other health-
care professionals to reach city residents.
Five days after the sermon, Ross Hebron and her husband were driving
past church headquarters when they saw a man pull into the parking lot,
frantically jump from his car, and run around it. Rolling down the window,
she heard him crying and screaming, “The baby is coming!” Then she heard
the screams of the expectant mother in the car.
“My husband and I immediately pulled into the driveway,” she said.
Moments later, the baby was born. As Harold Hebron telephoned the
paramedics, the new father removed his shoelaces from his tennis shoes and
found a pair of scissors in the car. Following Ross Hebron’s directions, he
tied off the umbilical cord and cut it.
Ross Hebron wrapped the baby in a blanket from her car and made sure
that he was comfortable and breathing fine. General Conference security
arrived and fostered a calm environment. After a short time, the paramedics
took a healthy and stable mother and baby to the hospital.
Later that day, Ross Hebron visited the mother in the hospital and again
held the baby in her arms.
The mother excitedly told the nurses that God sent an angel to help her
in the parking lot.
“I don’t know where she came from,” the
mother said. “I just looked up, and she was
there.”
Ross Hebron said she has no doubt that
what happened in the parking lot was an
answer to prayer.
“My husband and I attribute all to God’s
plan,” she said.
teachers comments
Part I: Overview
Family life is tricky. We need all the help we can get. The memory text
for the week implies that we must swallow our pride and “lean not unto
[our] own understanding” (Prov. 3:5). Let us be honest and admit we need
outside input from the Lord if we are going to be good mothers, fathers,
sons, and daughters. Proverbs is a treasure trove of insight into family life;
so the lesson “wisely” looks for guidance in its pages.
The creation of a family begins with two people choosing to commit
to each other for a lifetime. Whether children like it or not, parents are
often in a good position for advising on who would, or would not, make
a good spouse. Proverbs has much about whom not to get involved with,
usually designated as the forbidden woman (Prov. 2:16–19, 5:3–14,
7:4–27). But it is not difficult to apply the same principles to help to
avoid the wrong man, as well. Perhaps the fact that only the “forbid-
den woman” is spoken about, and not the “forbidden man,” is counter
balanced, in part, by the fact that Proverbs ends in an homage to the
“virtuous woman” (Prov. 31:10–31).
Parents’ actions will have direct consequences on the characters of
their children. How important it is then that their influence be prudent
and measured (Prov. 15:1). Though neglecting discipline is considered
ruinous for a child (Prov. 23:14), the context of the covenant is that par-
ents are governed by their love for God. Under that influence, children
are to be taught about the God of their fathers (Deut. 6:4–9).
Part II: Commentary

Theological Introduction
God is a risk taker. He willingly created free moral agents with the poten-
tial of loving Him or wanting nothing to do with Him. In a sense, God
lost His own wager. His universe rebelled. He lost His angels. He lost His
humans. Worst of all, His own Son was murdered by the very ones He
created. Yet, for God, it was all worth it—for the sake of having a family.
Is there any institution in existence that can possess such opposing
realities as that of the family? On one hand, it can provide the apex
of security and love. On the other, it can breed the deepest pain and
resentment, mask the most shocking violence, and disfigure the souls
of its offspring. When we start our own families, we participate in the
divine risk of creating relationships. We choose a spouse, initially a
65
teachers comments
total stranger to us with an unknown future, to bind our lives with

forever. We have children that are “bundles of joy.” But we soon real-
ize they also are bundles of potentialities in which that initial joy is
either extended or terminated in pain and heartbreak. And yet we, like
God, continue to merge our lives with others to create families. Why?
Perhaps the lyrics of a Bob Bennett song nail a truth worth pondering:
“Love is the only risk worth taking.”
When God, whose very essence is love (1 John 4:8), fashioned us
in His own image (Gen. 1:26), the desire to love and be loved became
indelibly etched on our natures. Though sin has wreaked such chaos in
creation, even it has had difficulty erasing love as the supreme ethic
within humanity. How many people on the planet could honestly say
they prefer a life absent of all love? Not many. Because families are
the wellspring of relational love, they are ubiquitous. God wanted it
to be so (Gen. 1:28, 2:24). Familial love can lead us to hear the first
whispers of God’s love for us. Ellen G. White affirms that through “the
deepest and tenderest earthly ties that human hearts can know, [God]
has sought to reveal Himself to us.”—Steps to Christ, p. 10.
It is no wonder, then, that the family has become a target for Satan
to destroy. It is for this reason we need the multidimensional familial
pictures of God as a Father and Husband (Exod. 4:22, Jer. 31:32) and
Jesus as a Son, Bridegroom, and Brother (John 3:16, Mark 2:19, Rom.
8:29). In fact, any insight into the character of God (who is love) pro-
vides the benchmark for us to cultivate love within our own families.
The book of Proverbs is the valiant attempt of one king to hand down
an inheritance of divine wisdom to his children. May his legacy result
in our families reflecting God’s dream for a reunited creation—a uni-
versal family, sustained by His love.
Scripture
Perhaps the single most significant lesson of the book of Proverbs is
that there is a book of Proverbs. The implied message to all genera-
tions is “Parents, talk to your children!” Notice when Moses spoke to
Israel the commandments of God, he said that these words need to be
in our hearts. Without dipping the quill a second time, he says that
these words need to be in our children, too (Deut. 6:4–7). “Teach them
diligently” is the way the King James translates the Hebrew shaman,
which comes from either a root meaning “to repeat” (e.g., “tell them
to your children, and keep on telling them” [New Jerusalem]) or a root
meaning “to sharpen” or “engrave” (e.g., to teach incisively, as in “Drill
them into your children” [NAB]). Both repetition and deep engraving of
the commandments with regard to teaching children can fit the context.
66
teachers comments
So how should one go about sharing with children in a meaningful

way (1) the wise sayings of King Solomon, (2) the thrilling stories of
Israel, and (3) the commands and principles of God’s law? Going back
to Deuteronomy’s repetitive engraving model of teaching, the rest of
the verse could likely be telling one how to do just that. You “shall talk
of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and
when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign
on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes” (Deut.
6:7, 8, ESV). Sitting, walking, lying down, and getting up are, in a
figurative sense, meant to cover all the different positions and contexts
one may be in during the day. These activities also cover the whole day.
So, in all the diverse experiences of the entire day, Mom and Dad are
simply talking (dabar), conversing, musing out loud, or even singing
about God’s words. And the children listen and are changed.
But parents don’t just talk about God and His words for the kids’
sake. Remember, all the words commanded are first to be “on your
heart”; that is, the heart of the parents. The idea that these words are
to remain in the mind “as frontlets between [their] eyes” reinforces
the heart imperative. It is what the parents are thinking about already.
But even having them in mind is not enough. If parents want their
religion, and respect for the God of that religion, to be passed on to
their children, then His laws need to be bound “as a sign on [their]
hand.” Parents’ actions need to showcase what God’s laws look like
when expressed through human life. Otherwise all the God talk will
be counterproductive. As a consequence, children will sit back and
appropriately be repulsed at the pageant of parental hypocrisy before
their eyes.
Scripture
When the Lord commands the Passover to be kept in the new land, He
takes the long view and desires the parents to be prepared when the
children inquire about the ceremony (Exod. 12:26). Perhaps that is
the purpose of ceremony in the first place—to generate such curiosity
from our children that they start doing what every God-fearing parent
hopes they will begin doing: asking questions about God and His ways.
In addition, the question the children ask may not simply be “What
does this ceremony mean?” but “What does this ceremony mean to
you?” (Exod. 12:26, NIV). If the latter is the case, then parents aren’t off
the hook by simply giving some theoretical answer or quoting another
Bible text. Children can’t see or hear God firsthand, but they watch
and listen to their parents. For Mom or Dad to share experientially
67
teachers comments
what God and His laws mean to them can add gravity to their answers and
perhaps make for a memorable family moment. Perhaps this model is the
ideal for transferring the corpus of biblical knowledge to the next genera-
tion. “What does it mean?” must ideally be followed up with an answer to
the question “What has this ceremony meant for me in my life?”

The Seventh-day Adventist Church is an information-rich community.
We place a premium on general biblical knowledge, prophecy, and the
innumerable counsels of Ellen G. White. The church, in the spirit of
Solomon to his children, is providing this week’s lesson to give insights
into how to have the best family possible. Lest one feel overwhelmed with
even more counsel, the scriptural sections in the Teachers Edition have
been concerned with how the Bible itself gives clues to communicate
godly wisdom as a heritage. It has used passages that relate primarily to
children, but the principles are beneficial for all members of the family.
In addition, there are texts that make similar points but say nothing of
children or family (e.g., “ ‘This Book of the Law shall not depart from
your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may
be careful to do according to all that is written in it’ ” [Josh. 1:8, ESV]).
Be sure to emphasize this point for singles and parents without children,
lest they feel these lessons do not apply to them.
Here are some ideas on how to integrate Proverbs into family life:
1. Notice there are 31 chapters in the book of Proverbs—one for each

day of the month. Instruct your students to read a chapter a day
for their morning worship and invite everyone to share his or her
favorite proverb.
68
teachers comments
2. Encourage your class members to convene their own family

council in which each person in their respective families is
invited to share any struggles or concerns about events in his or
her life. Given that Proverbs touches on such a wide variety of
topics, advise your students to see if there is a proverb or two that
is related to one of the struggles shared in their family councils.
Suggest that the family together might memorize a pertinent
proverb.
69
United by
Mission
Juliana Sant os Abigail Dar richón Quinter os

Fer reira
ndez
Ezekiel Fer na
W hat do a 12-year-old girl in Brazil, a missionary baby whose

parents work in a closed country, and a 3-year-old girl
in Argentina have in common? They are united by mission in
the South American Division, which will receive this quarter’s
Thirteen Sabbath Offering.
Read more in the Youth and Adult Mission Quarterly
(bit.ly/adultmission) and the Children’s Mission Quarterly
(bit.ly/childrensmission).
Thank you for
supporting Adventist
Mission with your prayers
and Sabbath School
mission offerings.
19-2-ABSG Ad1.indd 1 5/29/18 4:16 PM

KAY KUZMA
Gold for My Girlfriends
Kay Kuzma
Life should not be measured by the number of breaths we
take but by the number of moments that take our breath away.
Once you start living by this standard, you’ll find yourself really
living regardless of the date on your birth certificate. So forget
about spending time trying to mask your age with glitter and
glamour or pushing yourself to achieve more fame and fortune.
These things are just temporary.
Instead, focus on creating breath-
taking moments that can never
be taken away from you, never
lost, and never devalued. If you
do that, then every age can be
“golden.”
ISBN 978-0-8163-6377-3 • US$17.99
eBooks are available at

Adventist-eBooks.com!
Disponible en su Librería Adventista más

cercana, o llamando al 1-800-765-6955.
©2010 Pacific Press®
Publishing Association Sí prefiere solicitarlo por Internet,
95591372 vaya a: www.LibreriaAdventista.com.
© 2018 Pacific Press® Publishing Association • 1855902558 • Price subject to change • Please contact your ABC for pricing in Canada
L esson 6 *May 4–10
The Royal Love Song
Sabbath Afternoon
Read for This Week’s Study: Song of Solomon, Gen. 2:7,
1 Cor. 7:3–5, John 17:3, 1 John 1:9, Rom. 1:24–27, Gal. 5:24.
Memory Text: “Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon

your arm; for love is as strong as death, jealousy as cruel as the
grave; its flames are flames of fire, a most vehement flame” (Song of
Solomon 8:6, NKJV).
A
mong the seasons of life, one of the big ones is marriage. Again,
not everyone marries, but for those who do, marriage brings
special challenges, and special blessings, as well. Among those
blessings is the wonderful gift of sexuality. What a powerful expression
of love this gift, in the right time and the right place, can be.
Contrary to popular opinion, the Bible is not against sex. It’s against
the misuse of this wonderful gift from the Creator to human beings.
In fact, the Song of Solomon, one of the smallest and perhaps one
of the least-read books of the Bible, describes the relationship between
a young Shulamite bride and her beloved, who is believed to be King
Solomon himself. The book unfolds the mysteries of human intimacy
and the delights of conjugal love in marriage. Although the Song of
Solomon has frequently been treated allegorically as a symbol of the
relationship of God and God’s people or of Christ and the church, it is
first of all a poem on the love found in the very real human relationship
of a man and woman.
This week we will look at marriage as portrayed in this Old
Testament book.
72
S unday May 5
Indivisible Life
Based on the following passages, how would you characterize the
Bible’s view of the human body? Gen. 2:7; Ps. 63:1; 84:2; 1 Cor.
6:19, 20; 1 Thess. 5:23.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Some religions believe in dualism, a philosophy that views the
human body as a problem for the life of the spirit. That is, the body is
deemed bad while the “spirit” is deemed good. In Scripture, however,
the human body, including its sexual characteristics, is integral to the
whole being. Life is “body” and “spirit” (see Gen. 2:7). The psalmist
gives the whole of himself in worship to God (Ps. 63:1, 84:2). The
total person is to be sanctified, set apart for the holy purpose God
intended.
A positive view of the human body, in the context of sexual relations, is

reflected in the Song of Solomon. How do these texts reveal this
attitude? Song of Sol. 1:2, 13; 2:6; 5:10–16; 7:1–9.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Throughout this sacred text the human body is admired. The physi-
cal aspects of married love are not an embarrassment. A full range of
emotions is openly presented.
Powerful sexual taboos typically exist in many cultures. Married
couples thus often find it difficult to communicate in healthy ways
regarding their intimate life. Similarly, children are often deprived of
the opportunity to learn about sexuality in the setting of a Christian
home where godly values can be integrated with accurate information.
The Bible’s openness with sexuality calls His people to a greater level
of comfort with this topic so that this vital aspect of life is treated with
the respect and dignity due so great a gift from the Creator.
How can we protect ourselves against cultural and moral forces

that either make sexuality into nothing but degrading animal-like
passion or turn it into something shameful that must never be
talked about? How does the Bible show us that both extremes are
wrong?
73
M onday May 6
The Loves of the Love Song

Describe various aspects of love presented in the Song of Solomon.
Song of Sol. 1:2, 13; 2:10–13, 16; 3:11; 4:1–7; 5:16; 6:6; 7:1–9;
8:6, 7.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
The Song of Solomon shows how friends spend time together, com-
municate openly, and care about each other. In the Song of Solomon,
two good friends become married partners. The wife declares, “This
is my friend” (Song of Sol. 5:16, NKJV). The word friend expresses
companionship and friendship without the overtones of sexual part-
nership. Happy is the husband or wife whose spouse is a dear friend.
Throughout the poem, intimate compliments and loving gestures
convey the strong attraction, the physical and emotional delight, that
the male and female find in each other. The natural intimacies of
romantic love are a gift of the Creator, to help partners bond closely
to each other in marriage. As partners are open to the work of divine
love in their hearts, their human love is “refined and purified, ele-
vated and ennobled.”—Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home, p. 99.
These verses also convey the loftiest of thoughts about love. True
love, though, is not natural to the human heart; it is a gift of the Holy
Spirit (Rom. 5:5). Such love bonds husband and wife in a lasting
union. It is the committed love so desperately needed in the parent-
child relationship to build a sense of trust in the young. It is the
self-giving love that binds believers together in the body of Christ.
The Song of Solomon calls us to make this love an active force in
our relationships with our spouses.
How does this kind of intimacy reflect, in its own way, the kind
of intimacy we can have with God? What are some parallels
one can draw (for example, spending time, giving completely
of ourselves, etc.)? What other parallels are there?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
74
T uesday May 7
A Loving Knowledge
Many have seen a “return to Eden” theme in the Song of Solomon.
Though the couple described is not the first man and woman, the poem
calls to mind the earliest garden. God’s plan that they be “one flesh” (Gen.
2:24, 25) is portrayed throughout in delicate metaphors and symbols.
How does the Song of Solomon present a commitment to mutuality in

the intimate life of the married couple? Song of Sol. 4:7–5:1. How
is Paul’s instruction of 1 Corinthians 7:3–5 similar?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Solomon invites her, “Come with me” (Song of Sol. 4:8). His bride
responds. Later she invites him, “Let my beloved come into his garden”
(Song of Sol. 4:16). He responds (Song of Sol. 5:1). Scripture here
teaches there is to be no force or manipulation in this intimate setting.
Into this relationship both partners freely and lovingly enter. “My garden”
is “his garden.”
“Solomon” and “Shulamith” share names that are derivatives of the
Hebrew shalom, “peace” or “wholeness.” Their admiration is mutual (Song
of Sol. 4:1–5, 5:10–16). The balance in their relationship is evidenced even
in the poetic style of paired lines and verses. The covenant expression “My
beloved is mine, and I am his” (Song of Sol. 2:16) echoes the language of
Eden, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh” (Gen. 2:23).
How does the description of the marital union as “knowing” enrich our
understanding of our relationship with God? Gen. 4:1, 25; 1 Sam.
1:19; Luke 1:34; John 17:3; 1 Cor. 8:3.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
The Bible uses know for the intimate union of husband and wife. In
this loving “knowledge,” the most hidden inner depths of their beings
are offered to the other. Not only two bodies but also two hearts are
joined in “one flesh.” Know also describes the relationship between
individuals and God. For the discerning Christian the unique and ten-
der knowledge of marriage, with its companionship, commitment, and
unbounded delight, provides a profound insight into the most sublime
and holy mystery ever, the union of Christ and the church.
75
W ednesday May 8
Love at the Right Time

Read Song of Solomon 4:8–5:1.
Song of Solomon 4:16 and 5:1 form the very center of this book and
describe, as it were, its climax as the marriage between Solomon and
the Shulamite is consummated.
To what is Solomon referring in the following passages? Song of Sol.

4:12, 16; 5:1; 8:8–10.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
In the Song of Solomon, we find some of Scripture’s most compel-
ling evidence for God’s plan that people remain sexually chaste until
marriage. One of the most powerful is a reference to the Shulamite’s
childhood, when her brothers wondered whether she would be a “wall”
or a “door” (Song of Sol. 8:8, 9). In other words, will she remain chaste
until marriage (a wall) or be promiscuous (a door). As an adult woman,
she affirms that she has maintained her chastity and comes pure to her
husband: “I am a wall” (Song of Sol. 8:10). In fact, he confirms that she
is still a virgin up to their wedding night by saying that she is “a garden
inclosed . . . a spring shut up, a fountain sealed” (Song of Sol. 4:12). From
her own experience, she can counsel her friends to take the steps of love
and marriage very carefully. Three times in the Song of Solomon the
Shulamite addresses a group of women referred to as the “daughters of
Jerusalem” to counsel them not to arouse the intense passion of love until
the appropriate time (Song of Sol. 2:7, 3:5, 8:4); that is, until they find
themselves safely within the intimate covenant of marriage, as is she.
For the second time in the poem the beloved invites his bride to come
away with him (Song of Sol. 2:10, 4:8). Before the wedding she could
not accept his invitation, but now it is she who invites him to her garden
(Song of Sol. 4:16), and he gladly accepts (Song of Sol. 5:1). He is not
just attracted to her beauty; she has stolen his heart (Song of Sol. 4:9),
he is intoxicated with her love (Song of Sol. 4:10), and he is exuber-
ant that she is his and nobody else’s now and forever: “My bride, my
very own, you are a garden, a fountain closed off to all others” (Song
of Sol. 4:12, CEV). In his union to this perfect woman he finds himself
as reaching the Promised Land: “Your lips are a honeycomb; milk and
honey flow from your tongue” (Song of Sol. 4:11, CEV).
What good news is there for individuals who regret their wrong
choices in the expression of their sexuality? 1 John 1:9; compare
Ps. 103:12, Isa. 55:7, John 8:11.
76
T hursday May 9
Safeguarding the Creator’s Gift

God had a special purpose in creating humankind as male and female
(Gen. 1:26–28). While each bears His image, the joining of gender oppo-
sites in the “one flesh” of marriage reflects the unity within the Godhead
in a special way. The union of male and female also provides for procrea
tion of a new life, an original human expression of the divine image.
What attitude does Scripture take toward sexual practices not in keeping
with the Creator’s plan? Lev. 20:7–21, Rom. 1:24–27, 1 Cor. 6:9–20.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Scripture disapproves of all that alters or destroys God’s image in
humankind. By placing certain sexual practices off limits, God guides
His people toward the right purposes of sexuality. When human experi-
ence is confronted by God’s precepts, the soul is convicted of sin.
What guidance is given Christian believers for relating to their sexuality

and that of others in a fallen world? Rom. 8:1–14; 1 Cor. 6:15–20;
2 Cor. 10:5; Gal. 5:24; Col. 3:3–10; 1 Thess. 5:23, 24.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Believers wait for release from the corruption of sin at Christ’s
return. They wait in faith, considering themselves dead to sin through
Christ’s death on the cross and alive in Him through His resurrection.
Through unceasing prayer, watchfulness, and the power of the Spirit,
they treat their sinful nature as crucified and seek to obey Christ in
their thoughts. They acknowledge God’s ownership of their bodies and
sexuality and use them according to His divine plan.
God forgives those who repent of sin (1 John 1:9). The gospel
enables individuals who formerly engaged in promiscuity and sinful
sexual activity to be part of the fellowship of believers. Because of the
extent to which sin has altered sexuality in humanity, some may not be
able to know full restoration in this aspect of human experience. Some,
for example, might choose a life of celibacy rather than get involved in
any sexual relationships that are forbidden by God’s Word.
How should we as a church relate to, for instance, homosexuals?

How should their own attitude about their sexual orientation
influence our response?
77
F riday May 10
Further Thought: “Marriage has received Christ’s blessing, and it is

to be regarded as a sacred institution. True religion is not to counterwork
the Lord’s plans. God ordained that man and woman should be united
in holy wedlock, to raise up families that, crowned with honor, would
be symbols of the family in heaven. And at the beginning of His public
ministry Christ gave His decided sanction to the institution that had been
sanctioned in Eden. Thus He declared to all that He will not refuse His
presence on marriage occasions, and that marriage, when joined with
purity and holiness, truth and righteousness, is one of the greatest bless-
ings ever given to the human family.”—Ellen G. White, Daughters of
God, pp. 180, 181.
As the Song of Solomon showed, sexual love can be a wonderful
thing in marriage. But a lasting relationship cannot be based simply on
the outward beauty and physical delights. Our bodies age and decay,
and no amount of diet, exercise, or plastic surgery will keep us look-
ing forever young. Solomon and the Shulamite’s marriage is a lifelong,
committed relationship. Three times they affirm that they belong to
each other (Song of Sol. 2:16, 6:3, 7:10). The first time it’s a recogni-
tion of mutual ownership (compare with Eph. 5:21, 33). The second
time she reverses the order in affirmation of her submission (see Eph.
5:22, 23). The third time it expresses his desire for her (see also Eph.
5:24–32). Love like this cannot be drowned (Song of Sol. 8:7); it’s like
a seal that cannot be broken (Song of Sol. 8:6).
 How does Solomon’s description of his wife as perfect (Song of
Sol. 4:1–5, 6:8, and 7:1–9) compare to Adam’s expression when he
first saw Eve? (Gen. 2:23, CEV). How should husbands then relate
to their own wives? (Eph. 5:28, 29).
 Some have seen in the book of Song of Solomon an allegory

of the relationship that exists between God and His people or
between Jesus and His church. While one must be careful not to
overallegorize, what features of the relationship between these
two people can be compared to our relationship with God? Also
compare to Isa. 54:4, 5; Jer. 3:14; 2 Cor. 11:2.
 Read Proverbs 31:26, Song of Solomon 5:16, and Proverbs

25:11. How important are our words in tearing down or building
up our spouse and weakening or strengthening our marriage? Use
the following texts as further illustration: James 1:26, 3:5–11.
78
i n s i d e
Story
A Strange Light
Ruth Jereh sang heartily as she walked home from the bar in her hometown,
Mazabuka, in southern Zambia.
It was Friday evening, and she had spent the entire day drinking beer.
Suddenly a blinding light appeared in front of her. The light hung in space,
and Jereh stared at it, not knowing from where it had come. Her song stuck in
her throat, and she instantly became sober. Then the light vanished.
Trembling, Jereh made her way home. She didn’t say anything to her hus-
band or 14 children that night, but she broke her silence in the morning.
“Honey,” she told her husband. “Yesterday, on my way back home, I saw a
big light that scared me.”
“Stop drinking beer,” her husband replied. “This could be God talking to
you.”
Later that day, a Dorcas worker visited Jereh’s home and invited her to an
Adventist church meeting. With the previous night’s experience fresh in her
mind, Jereh went with her husband.
Jereh had been raised in an Adventist home but left the church after marry-
ing her husband, who belonged to another denomination. He played the saxo-
phone in bars, and for years she sold homemade food as he played. Afterward,
they would drink for hours.
It got to the point that Jereh would drink from morning until evening and
forget her young children.
Drinking was part of Jereh’s life, and she struggled to quit after seeing the
bright light. For two weeks, she woke up at night, frightened and weeping.
“God, the life that I am living has caused me to neglect my children,” she said.
“Help me to stop drinking beer.”
Then one day she lost all desire for alcohol.
Townspeople were stunned to see her sober. They knew how she had been
before, and they asked which roots she had taken under the witch doctor’s
direction to give up drinking.
“How did you stop drinking beer?” asked one. “Give us the root that helped
you to stop,” said another.
Jereh replied to everyone, “The medicine that I
used was prayer.”
Jereh also has used the power of prayer to win over
her family for Christ. She was baptized, and, through
her influence, 10 family members also have been
baptized, including her husband.
“I always thank God in my prayers for allowing my
family and me to start worshiping,” said Jereh, 62.
“Worshiping God is very important in life.”
teachers comments
Part I: Overview
When God looked at everything He had made, including our physical
bodies, He deemed it “very good” (Gen. 1:31). This approval alone could
serve as an imprimatur on sexual activity if there were no other biblical
texts on the subject. But that is not the case. We can conclude explicitly and
implicitly from dozens of scriptures on the subject that human sexuality
is intended by God. Yet, it is carefully regulated (Gen. 1:28, 4:1, 9:1,
Exod. 20:14, Lev. 18:1–30, Prov. 6:32, 1 Cor. 6:9, Gal. 5:19, Heb. 13:4).
Seventh-day Adventists believe that bodies matter. What happens to
the body is going to affect who a person is or becomes. Our belief in
this causal relationship stems from our conviction that humans are a
wholistic unity of both physical and nonphysical dimensions. A maxim
often heard when discussing biblical anthropology is “A human doesn’t
have a soul; a human is a soul” (see Gen. 2:7). That means that bodily
actions, such as eating, exercising, physical contact, and sex, are soulish
activities and are not to be thought of as events isolated from affecting
the whole person. Because God has created our bodies and has a serious
stake in our well-being, it should be no surprise that He has something
to say about our sexual lives. He knows just how important a subject it
is. If any think that God is squeamish about the topic and has austere or
puritanical restrictions on sexuality, then we commend to you the Song
of Solomon.
Some of the beautiful themes nestled in the Song of Solomon are that
love has many faces. The Shulamite can present her lover to Jerusalem’s
daughters by declaring, “This is my friend” (Song of Sol. 5:16). Seeing
intimacy in other contexts besides the physical deepens our understand-
ing of the love on display. “Knowing,” a veiled expression for sexual
union (Gen. 4:1), is not just a random euphemism. Rather, it is a pro-
found description of the depth of personal familiarity and vulnerability
that gives sexuality its God-intended meaning.
Wholism Versus Dualism

How one views the relationship of our material dimension (our bodies)
to our immaterial dimension (our mental, emotional, spiritual states)
has a tremendous influence on how we live. One of the most influential
theological breaks our church made with existing Christian tradition was
to view the human as a whole rather than as a duality. Though we believe
that a person is multifaceted (physical, spiritual, mental, emotional), we
80
teachers comments
believe all those dimensions are woven into a complex whole in which
each dimension affects the other. Repercussions of this view are immedi-
ately apparent on a number of theological topics. One may be tempted to
think that the Adventist Church holds unique positions on any number of
independent subjects, such as Creation, resurrection, death, hell, sanctifi-
cation, and health. But these positions are based on the biblical relation-
ship of the human psyche with human physicality. It is our view of the
wholeness of humans that informs, and sets us apart from, the dualism of
fellow Christians.
Let’s take an extreme example from Gnosticism that was acutely dual-
istic and believed anything physical was inherently evil. Sexuality took
two different paths (at least) among Gnostics. First, given that the body,
according to Gnosticism, is inherently evil, sexuality was to be strictly
avoided in all circumstances. Other Gnostics concluded that because the
spirit cannot be affected by the body (dualism), what is done in the body
is irrelevant. Thus, one can indulge in all the unrestricted sex one wants.
So, ascetic or hedonistic sexuality are the extreme results of strong dual-
ism. Though there may not be many card-carrying Gnostics around today,
dualism and its consequences can still be detected in Christian experience.
How?
Anytime a Christian thinks that what he or she does in his or her body
is not as important as what is done in the “soul,” he or she is in danger
of flirting with Gnostic/dualistic philosophies and their consequences. A
dualistic Christian may be well aware of Bible prohibitions against inap-
propriate sexual behavior. But because this individual has done spiritual
things, such as submitting his or her “soul” to God, praying and worship-
ing, and loving God in his or her heart, then sex with his or her unmarried
partner doesn’t rank in importance with all the “spiritual” commitments
this person has made to God. The “spiritual” has trumped the “physical” in
their religious anthropology. This thinking leaves the Christian susceptible
to committing sins of the body.
Another problem with this view, besides its variance with biblical
wholism, is that it directly violates our experience. Sexuality is meant to
be as much an act of the heart and spirit as it is of the body and, ideally, is
to be an expression of a very nonphysical entity we call love. Again, those
in recovery from abusing their bodies in any number of ways (food, sex,
drugs, etc.) are often led to realize the core of their issues as nonphysi-
cal (e.g., one’s self-image, dysfunctional relationships, emotional issues).
In conclusion, our spiritual/relational life with one another, with God,
and with ourselves is dramatically affected by what we do in our bodies.
The physical affects the spiritual and vice versa. This conclusion can be
leveraged to support biblical principles of sexuality, premarital physical
involvement, substance abuse, and health/wellness issues.
81
teachers comments
Part II: Commentary

A Song for Today
The speed and degree to which Western culture is redefining all things
sexual (gender, marriage, appropriate/inappropriate sexual expression,
etc.) is dizzying. Fortunately, the echoes of a Judeo-Christian worldview
have held in check secular societies’ determined liberation from all reli-
giously informed moral norms. To invoke an almost three-thousand-year-
old Hebrew love poem for guidance today on intimacy and sexuality most
certainly would be considered laughable in mixed company. However, the
Song of Solomon contains themes that, if heeded, would reorient sex and
relationships along God’s ideal—an ideal that always restores fulfillment
and joy.
Two themes will be briefly noted here: (1) intimate exclusivity and (2)
timely love. It is apparent that the loving drama in the poem is between
Solomon and his beloved. Though both bride and bridegroom have their
respective companions that make frequent appearances (e.g., Song of Sol.
1:4, 5, 11; 2:7; 3:7, 8; 3:11), the intimacy between Solomon and the
Shulamite is exclusive (Song of Sol. 2:16). Now imagine a world in which
this single principle was taken seriously: a lifelong monogamous intimate
relationship with one’s best friend (Song of Sol. 5:16). (Note: All are aware
that Solomon was polygamous. But all also are aware that Solomon has
become the epitome of violating his own wise counsel. Solomon’s experi-
ence is a case in which we must do as he says, not as he did.)
As the lesson notes, the Shulamite is a “wall” and a “garden enclosed”
(Song of Sol. 4:12, 8:10). She rightly esteems her heart and virginity as
valuable enough to be given only to a committed lifelong companion. She
rejects the temptation to be a revolving “door” for a multitude of worth-
less suitors (Song of Sol. 8:9). The blessings this perspective entails and
the heartaches it avoids are too legion to enumerate. However, space will
allow at least one lesser-known insight into following this principle.
While traditional/biblical values on sexual abstinence until marriage
are often mocked as being an idealistic and antiquated killjoy, it turns
out the opposite may be the case. There is evidence that having numer-
ous sexual partners before committing to a single partner for life (in
marriage) can undermine the prospects of a “high-quality marriage.”—
See Galena K. Rhoades and Scott M. Stanley, “Before ‘I Do’: What
Do Premarital Experiences Have to Do With Marital Quality Among
Today’s Young Adults?” (Charlottesville, Va.: The National Marriage
Project), p. 5. Let that sink in for a moment. God should never be seen
82
teachers comments
as restricting human pleasure, only as regulating it in order to maximize it

in the proper time. Here our second theme, timely love, comes into play:
the leitmotif of the Shulamite, charging the daughters of Jerusalem to “not
stir up or awaken love until it pleases” (Song of Sol. 2:7, 3:5, 8:4, ESV).
Sexuality not only was meant to be expressed with a single mate for life
(“his eyes are as the eyes of doves” [Song of Sol. 5:12]; doves are known
to mate for life), but was intended to be preserved till a threshold of per-
sonal and relational maturity was reached.
A current worldwide phenomenon that violates both of these Song of
Solomon principles is the explosion of early exposure to graphic sex through
the Internet and other media. Again, the consequences of this exposure, no
doubt, will be studied for decades to come. But some preliminary observa-
tions reinforce that God’s ways preserve the potential for lifelong sexual inti-
macy within marriage, whereas alternatives are often damaging. For instance,
a Time article reported on a population of young men attempting to avoid
pornography permanently. Why? Not for religious reasons or any high moral
convictions. Rather, they had “marinated” their minds in sexually explicit
material so extensively they were not able to perform normal sexual functions
in the real world. As one recovering dad sensitively expressed: “I would tell
my son, I’ll be straight up with you, all superstimulating things, like Internet
porn, junk food, and drugs, can be fun and pleasurable, temporarily . . . how-
ever, they also have the potential to desensitize you to normal, natural things
and ultimately rob you of the one thing you thought they would give you, the
ability to experience pleasure.”—Belinda Luscombe, “Porn and the Threat to
Virility,” Time, March 2016: Web accessed: Aug. 2, 2017.
Whereas some poor souls are literally destroying their capacity for sexual
pleasure through illicit sexual activity, God is trying to use whatever means
He can, including the Song of Solomon, to preserve and maximize the emo-
tional, relational, spiritual, and, yes, physical satisfaction that marriage can
bring. Praise His name.

Though necessary, it still can be difficult to broach topics of sexuality in
a group setting, such as Sabbath School. Use your discretion in presenting
the following activities and hold back using sexually explicit language so as
not to offend. Remember, there are most likely church members struggling
in this area right now.
1. Earlier it was stated that the physical affects the spiritual and vice
versa. Nowhere is this more glaringly obvious than in sexual activity.
83 83
teachers comments
Ask the class to elaborate on why that is or to come up with other

examples of body/spirit interactions.
2. Enjoying “the pleasures of sin for a season” is an allure for all,

including the Christian (Heb. 11:25). Traditionally, self-denial is
seen as the answer to such an allure. But in light of the above
reflections, seeking superior pleasure over inferior pleasure can
be appealed to as motivation. See if the class can elaborate on
this strategy for a number of issues.
3. Notice the attention to detail the characters in the Song of

Solomon use to describe one another. What character attribute
do they possess that fosters such adoration? How is this attribute
a clue for a happy marriage?
84
Keys to Family Unity
Sabbath Afternoon
Read for This Week’s Study: Gen. 33:12–14, Ruth 1:16–18,
John 17:21–26, Gal. 3:28, Eph. 2:11–22, 5:21–6:9.
Memory Text: “ ‘That they all may be one, as You, Father, are in
Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may
believe that You sent Me’ ” (John 17:21, NKJV).
F
amily life represents different seasons of life for different people.
For the mother and father, the introduction of children in their
lives represents a major change, one that will last their lifetimes.
And for the offspring, of course, going from nonexistence to existence
is, indeed, a major transition. Then, too, children go through the various
stages of life until they leave home and, indeed, might have children of
their own.
Yet, whether as parents or children in a family, we all struggle with
the same thing, and this is our sinful fallen natures, which can make
unity in family life very challenging, to say the least.
Yes, in the body of Jesus Christ on the cross all humanity has been
reconciled to God and to one another (Eph. 2:13–16, Col. 1:21–23), but
on a daily practical level we must appropriate for ourselves the grace
of Christ, which alone can make family unity a living experience for
all who seek it in faith. This must be a daily experience in our lives.
Fortunately, through the grace of Christ, it can be.
85
S unday May 12
Christ the Center

What illustration does Paul use to describe the new unity that exists
between peoples in Christ? How has Christ made “one” out of
“two”? Eph. 2:11–22; see also Gal. 3:28.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
The cross of Christ removes the barriers that separate people from
each other. Walls separated worshipers in the Jewish temple, men from
women, and Jews from Gentiles. Describing the unity of Jews and
Gentiles in Christ, Paul used language that applies equally to other
divisions between nations, people groups, social strata, and gender. “To
create out of the two a single new humanity in himself, thereby making
peace” (Eph. 2:15, NEB) is good news that helps couples to truly know
“one flesh” unity in marriage. Also, by faith in Christ, long-divided
families can be reconciled.
It’s one thing to quote Bible texts about oneness in Christ; it’s wholly
another to actually experience it. What practical changes does
Christ bring to our lives that enable us to experience the oneness
and unity we have been promised? See, for instance, Rom. 6:4–7,
2 Cor. 5:17, Eph. 4:24–32.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
“Picture a large circle, from the edge of which are many lines all run-
ning to the center. The nearer these lines approach the center, the nearer
they are to one another. . . .
“The closer we come to Christ, the nearer we shall be to one
another.”—Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home, p. 179.
“Between father and son, husband and wife, . . . stands Christ the
Mediator, whether they are able to recognize him or not. We cannot
establish direct contact outside ourselves except through him, through
his word, and through our following of him.”—Dietrich Bonhoeffer,
The Cost of Discipleship (New York: The MacMillan Publishing Co.,
1979), p. 108.
How close is your family, or church family, to the center of that

circle? What else must come down in order for the relationships
to be as they ought to be?
86
M onday May 13
Becoming One Through His Love

“May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each
other and for everyone else” (1 Thess. 3:12, NIV).
Jesus prayed to His Father that His followers would “ ‘be one as we
are one’ ” (John 17:22, NIV). Summarize what Jesus was saying
here, focusing specifically on the role of love needed in order to
achieve this oneness.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Unity among His followers was on Jesus’ mind in this prayer.
Experiencing agape love is essential to this unity. Agape is the Bible
word for God’s love used in this prayer and in many other places in
the New Testament. Such love is God’s very nature (1 John 4:8), and
it identifies Jesus’ followers (John 13:35). God’s love is not natural to
the sinful human heart. It comes into one’s life as Jesus dwells with
the believer by His Spirit (Rom. 5:5; 8:9, 11).
“ ‘Love each other as I have loved you’ ” (John 15:12, NIV). The
disciple John, who wrote these words, was once not lovable but proud,
power-hungry, critical, and hot-tempered (Mark 3:17; Luke 9:54, 55;
see also The Desire of Ages, p. 295). Later in life he remembered how
Jesus had kept on loving him in spite of these traits. Jesus’ love gradually
changed John, enabling him to love others in Christian unity. “We love
Him because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19, NKJV), he wrote, and “if
God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” (1 John 4:11, NKJV).
Read 1 Corinthians 13:4–8. Try placing your name where the word
“love” appears. How well does it fit? Ask Jesus to bring these quali-
ties of love into your life by His Spirit. What changes might the
Spirit prompt you to make in order to reach this Christian ideal?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
87
T uesday May 14
Selfishness: Family Destroyer

“If pride and selfishness were laid aside, five minutes would
remove most difficulties.”—Ellen G. White, Early Writings, p. 119.
As human beings, our natures have been corrupted by sin. And, per-
haps, the greatest example of that corruption is the curse of selfishness.
We seem to be born selfish; we can see this reality in small children,
whose basic nature is want for themselves. “Me, me, me . . .” By the
time we reach adulthood, this trait can manifest itself in some pretty
terrible ways, especially in the home.
Of course, Jesus came to change this (Eph. 4:24). His Word prom-
ises us that we, through Him, don’t have to be dominated by this
destructive character trait. His whole life is a perfect example of
what it means to live without selfishness; to the degree we emulate
His life (1 John 2:6), we will overcome the tendency to live only for
ourselves.
Look up the following texts. What do they tell us about living a life of
selflessness?
Phil. 2:3–5
1 John 3:16–18
As Ellen G. White wrote above, if pride and selfishness were put

aside, so many problems could be solved very quickly, long before
they fester and brew and eventually turn into something nasty. All
members of the family, especially the parents, must be purged (Prov.
16:6) of this sin at the foot of the Cross (the greatest example in all
the universe of selflessness), even if that means constantly coming
back to the Cross and kneeling in prayer, faith, tears, and submission.
How much time are you spending at the Cross fighting against
whatever selfishness appears in your life? How does this verse (Matt.
7:16) help show you if you’ve been spending enough time there?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
88
W ednesday May 15
Submission
What counsel does Paul have regarding humility and service in rela-
tionships? Eph. 5:21. How do you think this attitude contributes to
unity in the church? Why is it so important at home? Eph. 5:22–6:9.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
The word submit (Eph. 5:21) means to place oneself humbly before
another person on the basis of voluntary choice. This unique principle
began with Christ (Matt. 20:26–28; John 13:4, 5; Phil. 2:5–8) and
characterizes all those who are filled with His Spirit (Eph. 5:18).
“Reverence for Christ” is what motivates people to submit in this way
(Eph. 5:21, NIV). Mutuality in self-giving was, and still is, a revolu-
tionary Christian teaching about social relationships. It brings to life
the spiritual reality that all are one in Christ, there are no exceptions.
A household principle. The proving ground of Christian submission
is in the home. If this principle is effective there, it will make a dramatic
difference in the church. Paul moves immediately from the introduction
of the principle of submission to discuss its application in families.
Three pairs of relationships are addressed in Ephesians 5:22–6:9—
the most common yet most unequal relationships in society. The intent
is not to reinforce an existing social order but to show how the faith
culture of Christ operates when there is a radically different voluntary
submission of believers to one another.
Why do you think Paul consistently speaks first to those who are
socially weaker in the culture—the wives, children, and slaves?
Write the qualifying phrase attached to the submission of each of
these.
Eph. 5:22 Eph. 6:1 Eph. 6:5

Those with greater social power—husbands, parents, masters—are
always addressed second. Each receives a directive quite uncommon to
the culture. These directives must have astonished the believers of the
first century. They leveled the ground around the Cross and opened the
way for true oneness to be experienced in relationships.
89
T hursday May 16
Living the Love We Promise

Ultimately, family cohesion and unity rest on the commitment
of family members, beginning with the commitment of the marital
partners, to care for one another. Sadly, Bible history is strewn with
examples of failed promises, broken trust, and lack of commitment
where it should have been present. Scripture also has stirring examples
of ordinary people who, with God’s help, committed themselves to
friends and families and kept their promises.
Look at the following families and their levels of commitment. How

could commitment have been strengthened in some families? What
encouraged the commitment shown in the others?
Parent-child commitment (Gen. 33:12–14, Exod. 2:1–10)
Sibling commitment (Gen. 37:17–28)
Family commitment (Ruth 1:16–18; 2:11, 12, 20; 3:9–13; 4:10, 13)
Marital commitment (Hos. 1:2, 3, 6, 8; 3:1–3)

When we commit ourselves to another person, as in marriage or in
the decision to bear or adopt a child, there is a willing surrender of our
freedom to make a different choice in the future, a surrender of control
over an important segment of our lives. Laws may restrain negative
behavior, but marriage and family relationships need love within them
to enable them to flourish.
What does Jesus’ promise of commitment (Heb. 13:5) mean to

you personally? What effect should His commitment to you have
on your commitment to Him, to your spouse, to your children,
and to fellow believers?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
90
F riday May 17
Further Thought: Ellen G. White, “A Sacred Circle,” pp. 177–180, in

The Adventist Home; “Unity in Our Work,” pp. 236–238, in Testimonies
for the Church, vol. 6.
Results of Family Unity. “The first work of Christians is to be united

in the family. . . .
“The more closely the members of a family are united in their work
in the home, the more uplifting and helpful will be the influence
that father and mother and sons and daughters will exert outside the
home.”—Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home, p. 37.
The Secret of Family Unity. “The cause of division and discord in
families and in the church is separation from Christ. To come near
to Christ is to come near to one another. The secret of true unity in
the church and in the family is not diplomacy, not management, not a
superhuman effort to overcome difficulties—though there will be much
of this to do—but union with Christ.”—Page 179.
 Talk about the forces in your own society that work against
family unity. What practical solutions can you offer to a family
that is struggling against these influences?
 Is there a family in your church right now that has come

apart? If so, what can you do as a class to help each member in
this crisis time?
 Discuss this whole question of submission. How is it to be

understood in a Christian context? In what ways has the principle
been abused?
 What principles can you see in regard to family unity that can
be applied to the idea of unity in the church, as well?
91
i n s i d e
Story
“The Man” Shares Sabbath
Not many people can say that they have spoken with an angel.
Farmer Notley Tidwell could—but he didn’t. Instead, he referred to the
mysterious stranger as “the man.”
One evening in the 1880s, Tidwell prayed as he trudged home, his fiddle
in hand, from a barn dance in the U.S. state of Texas. He was confused. He
had been raised to worship on Sunday, but he had been studying the Bible and
saw that the fourth commandment said, “Remember the sabbath day, to keep
it holy” (Exod. 20:8).
As he prayed, a man suddenly appeared beside him. Tidwell knew everyone
in the area, and he had never seen this man before. But he wasn’t startled. The
stranger was very pleasant.
“He just appeared and started talking to him,” said his granddaughter,
Lorena Stigaullde, 94.
The conversation soon turned to the Sabbath, and Tidwell shared his grow-
ing conviction that God had set aside Saturday, not Sunday. He expressed
bewilderment that he couldn’t find anyone who observed Saturday.
The stranger said he knew of a group of people who worshiped on Saturday,
and he gave directions to their meeting place. Tidwell glanced to the side as
they spoke, and when he looked back, the man was gone.
“He was just there, and he turned, and he was gone,” said his great-
granddaughter Reba Seifert, 68.
Returning home, Tidwell told his wife about the unusual meeting and, days
later, decided to follow the man’s directions. They led to a farmhouse where a
small group of Seventh-day Adventists met every Sabbath.
Tidwell was baptized into the Adventist Church with his wife and their eight
children. He later became a local church leader and planted the first local
Adventist church, located between the towns of Linden and Marietta, Texas.
Although the church is now closed, others have sprung up in the area,
including a church in Linden where Stigaullde attends with other relatives.
Tidwell’s legacy also lives on. His faithfulness to God spawned several gen-
erations of mission-minded Seventh-day Adventists who have served as Bible
workers, literature evangelists, and special needs leaders in Texas and beyond.
“He became the first Adventist in a large family,” said Seifert, one of grand-
daughter Stigaullde’s four children.
Tidwell never identified the stranger as an
angel, but the family believes that he was sent
from heaven in answer to an earnest prayer.
“He just called him ‘the man,’ but he
believed that God sent him,” said Stigaullde,
who heard her grandfather tell the story when
she was a girl. “I believe he was an angel.”
teachers comments
Part I: Overview
Jesus desires us to be in unity with one another. Many reasons could be
offered to explain why Jesus wants us to be in unity. But Christ mentioned
one reason that shoots the importance of unity to the top of the list. This
week’s memory text brings out that we are all to be one in the Father and
Son, “so that the world may believe that you [Father] have sent me [Jesus]”
(John 17:21, ESV). So, the world’s belief in who Jesus really is, and where
He is from, hinges, in some respects, on the unity of believers.
So, how are we doing? The burden of Christian unity on a global scale
is overwhelming. But unity at the family level is realistic. The onus for
such unity, therefore, lies squarely on our shoulders.
The burden, though, was first on Christ’s shoulders. His triumph over
evil (1 John 3:8), the reconciling nature of the cross (Eph. 2:13–16, Col.
1:21–23), and the availability of the Spirit (Acts 2, 1 Cor. 12:13) pave
the way for unity among His people. Couple these events with Christ’s
new commandment to love as He loved (John 13:34), dying to self and
selfishness (Rom. 6:3–7), along with submitting to one another (Eph.
5:21), and the family becomes empowered to mirror the oneness for
which Jesus prayed (John 17).
Part II: Commentary

Devotional on Unity
True unity is a beautiful thing to behold. The recipe is simple: otherness
and submission. Of course, one could say “No, you need love” or “You
need the Holy Spirit.” True enough. But there is something about the word
submission that hones all the other necessary ingredients to a sharp edge.
We get away too easily with volleying the word love back and forth within
our families and then wonder why this love is unable to produce the warm
unity for which we hoped. Perhaps if the quantity of spoken “I love you’s”
were matched by genuine acts of submission, things would be different.
Either submission exists as an ethos within the family or it doesn’t exist
at all. If there is a single family member whose will demands, but never
participates in, submission, their familial situation may be called many
things, but it can’t be called unity.
The paragon of submission is the life of Jesus. The apex of that sub-
mission is heard in Gethsemane: “Father, if thou be willing, remove this
cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done” (Luke 22:42).
Here is one of the keys to the profound unity between the Father and the
93
teachers comments
Son. Jesus explained that the Father had not left Him alone, and was
with Him because He (Jesus) did “always those things that please him”
(John 8:29). It is telling that Jesus Himself did not shun submission. This
point is crucial because of late the term submission has been entangled
in ecclesiastical controversies concerning ordination, gender roles, and
headship. Regardless of those important concerns, the fact that the King
of kings lived a life of submission elevates personal acts of submission
across the board with those serious about Christlikeness. And if there is
one institution that requires unity through submission more than another,
it’s marriage.
Illustration
Couples can have breakthroughs in a moment that can change the course
of their marriages. Joseph married a woman whose family dynamics dic-
tated that disagreements were opportunities for “lively” discussions aimed
at producing one winner and one loser. When the game rules are such, a
posture of defense and attack becomes the norm. The “olive wreath” is
awarded to one who outwits, belittles, or verbally shocks his or her oppo-
nent. No submission is allowed, no unity is achieved, and relationships
become stunted.
Neither Joseph nor his wife wanted this outcome. But he wrestled with
how best to communicate to his wife that the contexts for their disagree-
ments could be radically changed to something more constructive. Joseph
needed to convince his wife that they did not have to be two separate indi-
viduals locked in a contest for superiority and that it was in his best inter-
ests never to leverage her vulnerability, mistakes, or weaknesses against
her in order to “win” an argument. Finally, Joseph decided to use what the
late, great marriage counselor Gary Smalley called an “emotional word
picture” (a parable intended to communicate insight and emotion from
one person to another).
Around this time, Joseph and his wife were backpacking in the Sierra
Nevadas. As they sat beside a cool creek with stunning mountains in the
background, these mountains suddenly became the source of Joseph’s
parable. He said to his wife, “Every time we have a conflict, picture ourselves
on the summit of one of these mountains. Now, many couples think they
are playing King of the Mountain during a relational conflict. The ‘win-
ner’ is the one who is able to verbally dominate the other to the point of
pushing him or her off the cliff. But this victory is an artificial win. I will
never play this way with you, not because I’m a nice guy but because
marriage has tied our ankles together with a long and sturdy rope—if
you go over, I go over. It is true, there are two of us, but there is only one
marriage, one relationship. It will be in both our best interests if we do,
say, and think only those things that will benefit this third entity between
94
94
teachers comments
us now called marriage. There are no winners and losers—we either both
win or we both lose.” This philosophy has been a key to the unity within
Joseph’s marriage and family.
Basically, marriage is a unique experiment to see if two potentially radi-
cally different people can operate as one. Mike Mason presents the strug-
gle this way: “Even the closest of couples will inevitably find themselves
engaged in a struggle of wills, for marriage is a wild, audacious attempt
at an almost impossible degree of cooperation between two powerful cen-
ters of self-assertion. Marriage cannot help being a furnace of conflict, a
crucible in which these two wills must be melted down and purified and
made to conform.”—The Mystery of Marriage (Sisters, Oreg.: Multnomah
Press, 1985), p. 167. In his brilliant chapter entitled “Submission,” Mason
puts his finger on how this can happen. It sounds a bit like the rope
parable. “ ‘He who is least among you,’ says Jesus, ‘he is the greatest’
(Luke 9:48). . . . Marriage at its best is a sort of contest in what might
be called ‘one-downmanship,’ a backwards tug of war between two
wills each equally determined not to win. That is really the only attitude
which works in marriage because that is the way the Lord designed it.”
—Page 167.
Scripture
“Wives, submit to your own husbands. . . . Children, obey your parents.
. . . Bondservants, obey your earthly masters” (Eph. 5:22, 6:1, 6:5, ESV).
When Scripture is abused, sooner or later people are too. One can only
imagine the frequency these three texts have been invoked to carry out the
opposite of the Spirit’s intentions. Ironically, being filled with the Spirit
versus being drunk on alcohol is the broader context of these passages
(Eph. 5:18). Alcohol makes a poor interpreter. It’s the socially weaker
counterpart that often feels the slap of its influence. At times, culture pro-
gresses in such a way that it becomes just as important to say what texts
don’t mean than to say what they do mean. Perhaps that is the case here.
Paul’s list and attendant comments on these social doublets contrast
with nonbiblical lists of his day that encouraged harsh treatments to pro-
tect the honor of husband, parent, and slave owner.—See Jon Dybdahl,
ed., Andrews Study Bible (Berrien Springs, Mich.: Andrews University
Press, 2010), p. 1549. Paul has something different in mind. Though much
could be said (and should be said) on the slave/master portion of Paul’s
thoughts, this quarter’s theme on family narrows our focus.
In terms of this week’s lesson on family unity, themes such as submis-
sion, love, and Christ’s relationship to His church can all be found here in
Ephesians 5. Indeed, they must be found together. Otherwise, interpreters
95
teachers comments
may come to such conclusions as it is only for wives to submit and husbands
to be submitted to. True, the word submit is not directly applied to husbands,
but the fact that the previous text of “submitting to one another” (Eph. 5:21) is
a generalized result of being filled with the Spirit (Eph. 5:18), makes it highly
unlikely that Paul was exclusively thinking of wives when he wrote Ephesians
5:21, unless one ventures to say only wives are filled with the Holy Spirit (a
conclusion the most patriarchal of interpreters may find hard to swallow).
Paul certainly doesn’t think wives shouldn’t submit to their husbands. But he
sees such submission as paralleling the relationship between Christ and His
people (Eph. 5:22–24). However, the parallel is valid only as husbands are
living metaphors of the love of Christ (Eph. 5:25). Christ’s voluntary death
for the saving of His bride is the greatest act of submission the universe
has ever known. It may be that Paul’s phrase “submitting yourselves one to
another” applies to marriage in that the husband’s submission is subsumed
under the imperative to love as Christ loves.

Modern-day idolatry is expressed through self-worship in which absolute
autonomy is the prized ethic: my importance, my desires, my preferences,
my ambitions, and my way of folding clothes or doing dishes are all non-
negotiables. “As long as I’m not hurting anyone else,” this ethic exclaims, “I
can do what I want.” And, of course, one can do what he or she wants; but
one can’t just get what one wants if Christian maturity, loving relationships,
and family unity are anywhere on the horizons. Now let the class take the
profound but abstract themes of the lesson and share what these ideas look
like when translated into actions.
1. How could a husband or wife, who feels the marriage relationship

unfairly favors only his or her spouse’s desires, start a conversation
as a way of taking steps toward unity? Be specific.
96
96
teachers comments
2. What family strategies could help estranged children feel that

their opinions and desires are of value within the family without
inverting the parent/child authority paradigm?
3. Submission, love, and commitment need to be expressed, not just

in words but in hundreds of little actions each day within fami-
lies. What are some of these actions that you use to keep your
family unified?
97
Season of Parenting
Sabbath Afternoon
Read for This Week’s Study: Gen. 18:11, Jer. 31:25, Matt.
11:28, Psalm 127, Prov. 22:6, 1 Sam. 3:10–14, Phil. 3:13.
Memory Text: “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the
fruit of the womb is a reward” (Psalm 127:3, NKJV).
B
irths are such a common, normal occurrence that often we don’t
always fully appreciate the wonder that they are. Imagine what
Eve must have felt holding baby Cain in her arms. The changes
she experienced in her growing body during those months, the excru-
ciating pain of childbirth, and then seeing this small child, so much
like them, yet so defenseless. What an experience it must have been
for Sarah, in her 90s and way past childbearing age, to contemplate
upon the face of her own son, Isaac; she must have laughed every time
she pronounced his name. After praying for a son for who knows how
long, Hannah held Samuel and said, “ ‘For this child I prayed, and the
Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him’ ” (1 Sam. 1:27,
NKJV). The wonder in Mary’s heart, still a young girl, cuddling her son,
God’s Son, with a combination of amazement and fear.
At the same time, not everyone has the privilege, and responsibility,
that comes with parenting. This week we will spend time exploring
the season of parenting with its challenges, fears, satisfaction, and joy.
98
S unday May 19
Childless Parenting
Read Genesis 18:11, 30:1, 1 Samuel 1:1–8, and Luke 1:7. What do
these people have in common? How did God answer their longings?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Children are a blessing. But for some reason God doesn’t always
bless everyone with children. Some hope and pray for a family, and
God graciously grants their request, sometimes quite miraculously, as
in the case of Sarah; others just as fervent in their petitions before God’s
throne are met with deafening silence. Every time they see friends
praise God for their pregnancies and when they welcome their babies, it
deepens the depth of the wound as they consider their empty nest. Even
such innocent questions as “How many children do you have?” serve as
painful reminders of an exclusive club that those without children are
excluded from, even though they may want to join.
Those who have gone through such an experience should come to
accept that God understands their sorrow. The psalmist declares of God,
“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in
your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book” (Ps. 56:8, NLT).
Even though He seems silent, “the Lord is like a father to his children,
tender and compassionate to those who fear him” (Ps. 103:13, NLT).
Other people, meanwhile, for various reasons, might choose simply
not to have children. One can understand in a world like ours, so full of
suffering, pain, evil, and potential calamity, why some might decide not
to bring more people into it. In some cases, some people might choose
to adopt children instead of having their own; that way they can raise
children who are already here, often giving them a chance at a much
better life than what they might have otherwise had.
Our world is a complicated place, and we are likely to meet all sorts
of people in all sorts of situations in regard to having or not having
children. In whatever situation we find ourselves regarding the question
of children, we can live with the assurance of God’s love for us and His
desire for our good end. At the same time, too, let’s always remember
to be as sensitive as we can toward people who, for whatever reasons,
do not have kids.
Jesus never had any natural children of His own. What lessons, if
any, are there for us in this fact?
_____________________________________________________
99
M onday May 20
Single Parenting
One phenomenon the world faces is that of single parents, often but
not always a woman as the single parent.
Sometimes we think of single parents as those who have conceived a
child out of wedlock. However, that is not always the case. Hagar was
pressured into having a child with Abraham and then was forced to
leave with her child (Gen. 16:3, 4; 21:17). Elijah was sent to a village
called Zarephath to help a single mother who was a widow (1 Kings
17:9). By the time Jesus began His ministry, Joseph, His adoptive
father, had died, leaving Mary a widow and a single parent. “Death had
separated her from Joseph, who had shared her knowledge of the
mystery of the birth of Jesus. Now there was no one to whom she
could confide her hopes and fears. The past two months had been
very sorrowful.”—Ellen G. White, The Desire of Ages, p. 145.
Being a single parent is perhaps one of the most challenging jobs
a person can have. Many face difficulties, such as managing their
finances, dealing with the other parent, or simply having time just for
themselves or to spend with God, and wondering whether they will ever
be loved again.
What promises can anyone, including single parents, take from the
following verses: Jer. 31:25; Matt. 11:28; Jer. 29:11; 32:27; Prov. 3:5,
6; Isa. 43:1, 2?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
We as a church have the responsibility to help single parents. James
wrote, “Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this:
to visit orphans and widows in their trouble” (James 1:27, NKJV). One
could add, in principle, “and single parents in their trouble, too.” The
help we can offer does not have to be just financial. We could allow
them to have some respite by taking their children for a little while so
they can do other chores, rest, pray, and study God’s Word. We can
serve as mentors to their children or help repair things around the
house. We can be God’s hands in numerous ways to help support single
parents.
Without passing judgment as to how they came to their situation,

what specific things can you do to encourage and help single
parents?
100
T uesday May 21
The Joy and Responsibility

of Parenting
Read Psalm 127. What is the basic message of this short psalm? What
important principles should we take away from it for ourselves and
how we live?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
When you wish to cook your favorite dish, you follow a recipe. If
you add all the needed ingredients and follow all the steps, the majority
of the time you get the desired results. Parenting, though, is not like
cooking. No child is exactly like any other child, and even if you do
everything just as you have done with other children, they can turn out
different. This may have to do with their gender, the order in which
they were born, their temperaments, or a host of other reasons. In God’s
plan, parents would lead and teach their children to love and obey Him
(Deut. 6:4–9, Ps. 78:5–7). The directive from God to parents is to
“train up a child in the way he should go” (Prov. 22:6, NKJV), not to
hover over children to make sure they never make any wrong decisions.
While we want to see our children go from cuddly, defenseless little
people to independent, successful adults, our ultimate responsibility is
that they come to know, love, and serve Jesus Christ. As parents, we can
follow the plan for the spiritual development of our children outlined
in Deuteronomy 6. There are four important prerequisites: That we
recognize “the Lord our God” (Deut. 6:4), that we love Him fully from
the heart (Deut. 6:5), that we treasure His Word (Deut. 6:6), and that
we share with our children what we know about Him (Deut. 6:20–23).
Deuteronomy 6 continues on to provide two important principles.
First, the “teach-talk” principle (Deut. 6:7). Teaching refers to formal
education, while talking refers to informal instruction. In both cases,
the communication of biblical truth takes place within the setting of the
parent-child relationship. Formal times of teaching can happen during
family worship as we study God’s Word with them. Informal teaching
arises spontaneously in the circumstances of day-to-day life and is even
more important. Everyday incidents can become effective vehicles for
communicating biblical truth (Gen. 18:19). The second is the “bind-
write” principle (Deut. 6:8, 9). Spiritual truth must be bound up in our
actions (“hand”) and attitudes (“head”), but also it must be inscribed in
our private (“doorposts”) and public (“gates”) lives. It must move from
our hearts into our homes and from our homes into the world.
101
W ednesday May 22
Parenting as Disciple-Making
Read Genesis 18:18, 19 and 1 Samuel 3:10–14. Contrast these two
fathers. What were the results of their parenting styles?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Parents have a responsibility to be the disciple-makers of their chil-
dren, so they will become disciples of Jesus themselves. There are
parents who believe that the way to teach and correct their children is
by applying physical punishment—the more, the better (Prov. 22:15,
23:13, 29:15). Passages like these have been misused to abuse children
and force them into total submission, but often that also has led to
rebellion against their parents and God.
The Bible teaches parents to govern with kindness (Eph. 6:4, Col.
3:21) and to instruct children in righteousness (Ps. 78:5, Prov. 22:6,
Isa. 38:19, Joel 1:3). As parents we ought to provide for our children
(2 Cor. 12:14) and set a good example for them to follow (Gen. 18:19,
Exod. 13:8, Titus 2:2). We are told to direct our households well (1 Tim.
3:4, 5, 12) and to discipline our children (Prov. 29:15, 17) while at the
same time reflecting God’s love (Isa. 66:13, Ps. 103:13, Luke 11:11).
Sadly, the Bible reveals stories of parenting gone wrong. Isaac and
Rebekah played favorites with their sons, Esau and Jacob (Gen. 25:28),
and later Jacob displayed the same attitude toward Joseph (Gen. 37:3).
Eli, even though he was a religious leader, failed to correct his children
(1 Sam. 3:10–14). Samuel, who also was raised by Eli, turned out to be
a very deficient father himself (1 Sam. 8:1–6). King David, by commit-
ting adultery and ordering a murder, taught his children who followed
his example. King Manasseh sacrificed his children to demons (2 Kings
21:1–9), as did King Ahaz (2 Kings 16:2–4).
Fortunately, however, we also find in the Scriptures some examples
of good parenting. Mordecai was a wonderful adoptive father to
Hadassah, Queen Esther (Esther 2:7), and Job prayed for his children
regularly (Job 1:4, 5). In all of these examples, good and bad, we can
glean lessons on parenting.
What can we learn from the examples of parenting that we see

in the Bible? In what ways can we use some of these principles in
our interactions with those who are not our children?
_____________________________________________________
102
T hursday May 23
Fighting for Your Prodigal Child

Read Proverbs 22:6. What is your understanding of this passage? Is
this a guarantee, a promise, or a probability?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Sometimes as a parent you do everything you should—spend time
teaching your children the right things, live according to your knowl-
edge of God, send them to good schools, attend church regularly,
become involved in mission work with them—and they end up leaving
the faith in which you raised them. The amount of pain is excruciating,
and there is not a moment of rest from your concern for their salvation.
The cause is not necessarily the parent’s fault. Children have minds of
their own and are ultimately responsible to God for their actions.
Some have taken the words “when he is old he will not depart from
it” as a promise, a guarantee that proper parenting will always result in
their child’s salvation. But Proverbs often gives us principles and not
always unconditional promises. What we can take out of this text is
the assurance that the lessons learned in childhood will last a lifetime.
Every child reaches an age when they either accept the heritage of their
parents as their own or reject it. Those parents who were careful to
provide their children with godly training have the assurance that what
they taught their children will always be with them, and if or when their
children walk away, the seeds they planted in their hearts will continu-
ously be in them calling them home. Being a good parent is our choice;
how our children turn out is theirs.
What should a parent do when a child goes astray? Turn your chil-
dren over to God in earnest prayer. If anybody understands your pain,
it is God, whose children, by the billions, have turned their backs on
Him, the perfect Parent. You can support your prodigals with love and
prayer and be ready to stand alongside them as they wrestle with God.
Don’t be too embarrassed to ask for support and prayer, don’t blame
yourself, and don’t be so focused on the prodigal that you forget the
rest of the family. Parenting a prodigal can divide your household; so,
build a unified front with your spouse and set clear boundaries for your
child. Remember that God loves your child more than you do, look to
a brighter future, and accept that your child is God’s work in progress.
It’s only natural in such a situation to blame yourself. And even

if you have made mistakes, why is it better to focus on the future
and on the promises of God? See Phil. 3:13.
103
F riday May 24
Further Thought: “You should take time to talk and pray with your
little ones, and you should allow nothing to interrupt that season of com-
munion with God and with your children. You can say to your visitors,
‘God has given me a work to do, and I have no time for gossiping.’ You
should feel that you have a work to do for time and for eternity. You owe
your first duty to your children.”—Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home,
pp. 266, 267.
“Parents, you should commence your first lesson of discipline when
your children are babes in your arms. Teach them to yield their will
to yours. This can be done by bearing an even hand, and manifesting
firmness. Parents should have perfect control over their own spirits,
and with mildness and yet firmness bend the will of the child until it
shall expect nothing else but to yield to their wishes. Parents do not
commence in season. The first manifestation of temper is not subdued,
and the children grow stubborn, which increases with their growth and
strengthens with their strength.”—Ellen G. White, Testimonies for the
Church, vol. 1, p. 218.
 What does it mean to be a “child” of God? How are we to
understand that image, and what comfort can we draw from it?
 One father, soon after his children were born, said the follow-
ing: “I’ve learned two great theological truths within the first few
years after my children were born. The first is the reality of free
will; the second, the reality of sinful human nature.” How might
young children have taught him these truths?
 When is the appropriate time to help shape the will of chil-

dren? How should this be done? How can we shape the will of our
children according to God’s plan when we have not fully submit-
ted ourselves to His will?
 Dwell more on the question of single parenthood. What are

practical ways that your church, as a whole, can help single par-
ents and the children they are seeking to raise on their own?
 What are ways to encourage parents whose children have

strayed from the faith?
104
i n s i d e
Story
Why I Quit My Job
By Bo, as told to Andrew McChesney
A remarkable experience prompted me to quit my 17-year job as a worker at
a thread-making factory and devote myself to full-time gospel work in China.
When I was 39, my son wanted to go to a trade school to become a lathe
worker. But the tuition for the three-year course cost 10,000 yuan, money that
we didn’t have.
My Seventh-day Adventist mother suggested that we pray about it. We
prayed, but I didn’t expect a miracle.
When my sister heard about the problem, she contacted a friend who worked
at the trade school and asked whether my son could apply for a scholarship.
The friend, the school accountant, said scholarships only were available for
low-income families, and we didn’t qualify. But at her suggestion, my son went
ahead and enrolled at the school.
Meanwhile, my mother, four sisters, and I pooled our money. When we went
to the school to pay, we were greeted by the accountant. She told my son to
write a scholarship request letter on the spot, and she took it to the principal’s
office.
When the principal looked at the letter, he asked, “By how much should I
help this student?”
“You have the power to do whatever you like,” the accountant replied.
The principal wrote “500” on the letter.
When the accountant returned with the letter, I was so excited. I didn’t know
what the “500” meant, but even a 500-yuan discount would be a big help.
We took the letter to the cashier’s office.
“Would you like to pay for one year or all three years?” the cashier asked.
“All three years,” I said.
The cashier did some calculations and announced, “Your grand total is 2,700
yuan.”
We were in shock! We didn’t know what happened or how she came up with
that figure. Even today, we don’t know what happened.
Until that day, my faith in God had been shallow. But after that experience, I
realized that God cares for us, and I decided to serve God with all my heart. I
have few talents, but I decided that I could help clean the church or visit people.
Today, I am 54 years old and oversee five
churches. I feel very unworthy to be called a
gospel worker. But I believe that God is leading,
and He will help me to do the gospel work.
Part of the third quarter 2018 Thirteenth Sabbath Offering
was sent to open a wholistic inner-city church plant in
China. The author’s name has been changed.
teachers comments
Part I: Overview
Having children in the Bible was a big deal. Mothers pleaded to God (or
to their husbands) for a child. God sometimes acted miraculously to do
so (think of Hannah weeping before the tabernacle or Rachel thinking of
death as an alternative to barrenness). Today, the subject of having chil-
dren is complex and engages a spectrum of issues, such as infertility, birth
control, abortion, adoption, single parenting, and methods of discipline.
Whatever the burden one carries in regard to children, it is imperative to
remember that God deeply cares about each family’s situation. That’s the
easy part. To extend that same care to yourself or to those you may believe
are making poor choices in regard to their children, that’s the hard part.
Raising children can be considered a branch of disciple making.
Though Scripture offers nuggets of parental guidance (2 Cor. 12:14, Eph.
6:4, Col. 3:21), most of the families focused on in the Bible will provide
plenty of examples of what not to do in raising children (e.g., playing
favorites, neglecting discipline, living an ungodly life). But if we can learn
from their mistakes and our own mistakes, then our children will each
be a star in their parents’ heavenly crowns. However, in the hopes of our
children being saved, Proverbs 22:6 has been invoked in a way that doesn’t
integrate well with free will and the great controversy metanarrative. A
brief, prayerful study on this famous text will hopefully bring some clarity
and provide us with some other interpretive options.
Part II: Commentary

Scripture
Proverbs 22:6 is a rare verse possessing just the right amount of transla-
tional ambiguity and theological consequence to produce either existential
hope or psychological trauma—or both. It is an exegetically juicy bit of
Old Testament wisdom literature whose potential English translations
can be virtual opposites of each other. Proverbs 22:6 made the short list
of Douglas Stuart’s “My Favorite Mistranslations,” in his W. H. Griffith
Thomas Memorial Leadership lectures in February 2013. Studying this
verse can serve as a microcosm for the challenge, thrill, and surprise that
make deeper Bible study all worth it. That this verse is arguably the most
known or quoted verse on child rearing in the Old Testament makes it
worth parsing, as we reflect on parenting for this week’s lesson.
106
teachers comments
The Standard Translation
What I am calling the standard translation is the one followed by almost

all English translations (and multiple German and French translations),
which follow fairly close to the King James: “Train up a child in the
way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Prov.
22:6).
First, the lesson brings out a crucial point that briefly bears repeat-
ing. No matter how one translates this text, it does not mean that every
wayward child is the direct result of bad parenting. So, let’s get that
off the table. One always has to take into account the literary genre of
the text, and this one falls within a wisdom anthology full of proverbs
and pithy (brief, forceful, and meaningful in expression) sayings. A
proverb wouldn’t be a proverb if it included a list of qualifications,
exceptions, and exclusions. So, this verse should be taken as a general
principle about how experiences in earlier years can have long-term con-
sequences. Parental guilt and/or parental assurance, as reflected in the
query “When is my child going to come around to ‘the way he should
go’?” should be transformed into parental reflection, lessons learned,
and continued prayer.
Supporters of the standard translation have had to defend the phrase
“in the way he should go” because the Hebrew only reads “according
to his way.” Translators, however, picking up on the general point of
Proverbs, were convinced contextually that the “way” in this case was
the way of the wise and righteous that Solomon and friends were advo-
cating and so inserted “should” to preserve that notion. A little pushback
on that translation comes from those who see “his way” as referring
to an individual’s discovering his or her vocational propensities and
being encouraged in that direction. This view is the tack The Seventh-
day Adventist Bible Commentary takes on this verse as it observes
that the “lifework should be in line with the natural bent.”—The SDA
Bible Commentary, vol. 3, p. 1020. Some, however, feel that this view
imposes an anachronistic psychological perspective on the text that falls
outside of Proverb’s themes.
The Minority Translation
Another translation also takes issue with the modifier “should” in the
phrase “the way he should go” and believes the Hebrew should be
taken at face value as “according to his way.” Doug Stuart and oth-
ers also have a problem with the Hebrew na’ar being translated as
“child” in the standard translation and opt instead for “an unmarried
young adult.” (Doug Stuart’s full 2013 Griffith lectures entitled “My
Favorite Mistranslations” can be viewed at https://www.youtube.com
/watch?v=DJnnbIypnz8&t=16s.) In light of this proposal, the verse
107 107
teachers comments
now involves our teenagers rather than our toddlers. Stuart proposes the
translation: “Train an adolescent in his own way, and when he is old he
will not depart from it.”
The text is now understood as a promise, not that good parenting
guarantees good results, but that lax parenting that caters to the teenag-
ers’ undisciplined “way” will have long-term deleterious results. Stuart
quotes the medieval Jewish philosopher Ralbag’s (acronym for the Rabbi
Levi ben Gershon) translation: “Train a child according to his evil incli-
nations, and he will continue in his evil way throughout life.”
So why doesn’t this angle of translation have wider representation in
modern versions? There is likely a certain translational inertia that is
created from a popular/early translation that subsequent versions often
have a difficult time resisting. Gordon Hugenberger offers a theory on
the possible initial misstep: “It is likely that earlier translators missed
this understanding of the text as a warning not because of any difficulty
in the Hebrew, but because it construes the first clause as an ironic com-
mand. It tells the reader to do something he should not do: ‘train up a
child according to his way.’ Actually, such a rhetorical device is entirely
at home in wisdom literature such as Proverbs, which uses sarcasm to
good effect. Compare Prov. 19:27, ‘Stop listening to instruction, my son,
and you will stray from the words of knowledge.’ ”—In Gary D. Practico
and Miles V. Van Pelt, Basics of Biblical Hebrew Grammar (Grand
Rapids: Zondervan, 2007), p. 163.
A 1,000-Year-Old Interpretation . . .
The following “translation” is more of a historical interpretation than

a translation. But it has just enough converging evidence to make it a
tantalizing possibility.
If you were to look at the Leningrad Codex, which is the oldest
complete manuscript of the Hebrew Bible, you would find notes in the
margins. These were written by the Masoretes, a group of Jewish scribes
and scholars between 600 and 1000 c.e. who created diacritical marks
around the consonantal Hebrew text in an attempt to standardize the
pronunciation. In other words, they added a vowel system to the text so
that the Jewish community wouldn’t forget how to pronounce/read their
Hebrew. They also wrote technical and linguistic notes in the margins. It
is these notes that potentially give us a thousand-year-old window into
how they understood Proverbs 22:6.
The Masoretic understanding of Proverbs 22:6 goes all the way back
to Enoch and the spelling of his name. There are two spellings of Enoch’s
108
teachers comments
name in Hebrew. The Masoretes noted the variant spelling in their margins.
Usually Enoch’s name contains what is called a holem waw (the holem waw
gives the o sound in Enoch’s name). But there are three instances in which
it is spelled “defectively” and only contains the holem (which still gives the
same o sound).
Keeping in mind that there is more than one Enoch, we note that the
first occurrence of the defective spelling of Enoch’s name in the Masoretic
manuscript is Genesis 25:4. The Masoretes noted in their margin for that
verse that the three texts containing this defective use were Genesis 25:4,
Numbers 26:5 (this case is a bit different because it is the “Hanochites,”
or, we might say, the family of Enoch or “Enochites” that has the defective
use), and Proverbs 22:6. In other words, the Masoretes see Enoch’s name
with its alternate spelling in Proverbs 22:6.
But wait, Enoch’s name doesn’t appear in Proverbs 22:6, or does it? It
just so happens that the verb form of “train” in Proverbs 22:6 is spelled
exactly the same as the defective spelling of Enoch’s name. (A note for
those familiar with Hebrew: it is true that the Masoretes could be comment-
ing on the Qal imperative of chanak, but the defective holem is standard for
Qal imperatives, according to Wilhelm Gesenius. Isn’t it more likely they
would annotate an anomalous variant on “Enoch” rather than the customary
conjugation of chanak?)
What’s more, the Masoretes make a marginal note in Proverbs 22:6, con-
nected directly to the “Enoch/train” Hebrew word. Their marginal reference,
which is not in the form of a sentence, literally reads: “twice,” “beginning
of,” “verse,” “Methuselah.” Again, that is the Masoretes’ comment on the
Hebrew word hanoch, which in English could mean either “Enoch” or
“train.” A smoothed-over English rendering of the Masoretic marginal note
to Proverbs 22:6 reads: “In two instances, the word [hanoch] begins a verse
. . . Methuselah.” Isn’t it interesting that Methuselah is mentioned? The fact
that Methuselah is being written as a comment on hanoch opens the pos-
sibility for hanoch to be interpreted, or seen as, “Enoch,” instead of, or in
addition to, translating hanoch as “train.”
The other instance in which this “Enoch/train” word begins a text is
1 Chronicles 1:3, which says, “Enoch, Methuselah, Lamech” (ESV). This
Enoch is referring to the same Enoch who walked with God in Genesis 5.
In light of these marginal notes, it seems plausible that the Masoretes (who
lived and breathed the Hebrew Bible) had Enoch on the mind when they read
Proverbs 22:6, and possibly Methuselah too. Here is an interpretation based
on Joseph Lukowski’s rendering to whom we are indebted for this entire dis-
cussion: “[Use the example of] Enoch for a child according to his way [i.e., the
way of Enoch]; even when he is old [like Methuselah] he will not depart from
it” (Proverbs 22:6).—https://hermeneutics.stackexchange.com/questions
109
teachers comments
/21709/what-is-the-proper-translation-of-proverbs-226/21787#21787.
Loosely paraphrased, Lukowski’s interpretation could be rendered:
“Raise your children in the Enoch way, and they will stay faithful till an
old age like Methuselah.”
It very well could be that the Masoretes saw this verse as encouraging
parents to raise their children to personally know and walk with God
the way Enoch did. As a result, a persevering righteous life would carry
them into old age (see Exod. 20:12)—even as it carried the oldest man
who ever lived, Enoch’s son, Methuselah.

We all want our children to walk in the way of Enoch, regardless of
whether the Masoretes were seeing him in Proverbs or not. The fact that
Enoch never saw death serves as an analogy of the hope we have that our
children never experience the final/second death (Rev. 20:14).
1. How can we make “walking with God” so attractive to our chil-

dren that they want it for themselves as much as we parents want
it for them?
2. One Christian speaker who had just finished a writing project

gave public thanks to his family for their support. “I want to
thank my wife, who lovingly helped, . . . and my children, who
lovingly hindered.” Children can be both a blessing and a trial
(maybe the trial is the blessing). In what ways have children in
your life helped mature and shape your character?
110
110
Times of Loss
Sabbath Afternoon
Read for This Week’s Study: Mark 5:22–24, 35–43; 1 Pet.
5:6, 7; Gen. 37:17–28; Luke 16:13; Rom. 6:16; 1 Cor. 15:26.
Memory Text: “Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excel-
lence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have
suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may
gain Christ” (Philippians 3:8, NKJV).
T
he moment Adam and Eve ate of the fruit of the tree of the
knowledge of good and evil, they experienced their first loss,
the loss of innocence. And this lost innocence was replaced with
selfishness, conflict, blame, and a desire for control and supremacy
over each other.
Shortly after the Fall, they witnessed the first loss of life when they
were given animal skins to cover their nakedness. Banned from access
to the tree of life lest they would eat and live forever, they also lost
their perfect garden home, and years later they lost their son, Abel, at
the hands of his brother, Cain. In the end, one of them lost their spouse,
and finally the surviving partner lost his or her own life. So many losses
came as a result of one decision.
Yes, we all know the reality, and pain, of loss, and most of us feel it
the deepest when this loss strikes us in the family. And no wonder, for
in the family we have our closest bonds; thus, loss there, in its many
varied forms, hits us the hardest.
This week, as we continue to look at family life, we will look at it in
the context of the various times of loss.
* Study this week’s lesson to prepare for Sabbath, June 1.
111
S unday May 26
Loss of Health
We are thousands of years from the tree of life; and we all feel it,
too, especially when it comes to our physical health. Sooner or later,
unless we are killed when young by trauma, we all come to the harsh
reality of the loss of health.
And, as difficult as the loss of health is, how much more painful
when it strikes, not just ourselves, but someone in our own family?
How many parents have, especially as they have dealt with an ill
child, wished it had been them, the parent, who was sick instead of
the child? Unfortunately, we are not given that choice.
What do all these accounts have in common? Mark 5:22–24, 35–43;

Matt. 15:22–28; Luke 4:38, 39; John 4:46–54.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
In each of these cases, and no doubt in so many more, it was a
family member beseeching Jesus’ help for another family member.
No question, we recognize that we suffer because we live in a fallen
world. When sin entered the world, not only did death enter, but also
chronic pain, illness, and disease. When faced with a chronic or ter-
minal illness, we may experience shock, anger, despair, and may even
feel like shouting, “My God, my God, why have you deserted me?
Why are you so far away? Won’t you listen to my groans and come to
my rescue?” (Ps. 22:1, CEV). As David did, we’d do well taking our
questions, anger, and pain to God.
In many ways, sickness and suffering will remain a mystery until death
is finally defeated at Jesus’ return. At the same time, we can glean impor-
tant truths from God’s Word. While Job endured unspeakable pain, he
experienced a deeper intimacy with God. He explains, “I heard about you
from others; now I have seen you with my own eyes” (Job 42:5, CEV).
Paul had some sort of chronic illness, and how he dealt with it tells us that
suffering can equip us to comfort others, it can give us compassion for
others who are hurting, and it can enable us to minister more effectively
(2 Cor. 1:3–5); that is, if we don’t allow it to break us.
Whether we or family members are suffering with illness, what

promises can we claim? Why, at times like this, is the reality of
Jesus, our Lord, suffering on the cross so important to us? What
does Jesus on the cross teach us about God’s unfailing love, even
amid illness in our family?
112
M onday May 27
Loss of Trust
We are all sinful, dysfunctional people who at some time will prove
ourselves to be untrustworthy to someone who trusted us. And who
hasn’t been the victim of someone else’s betrayal of our trust? And, as
hard as such a loss of trust can be, it’s always so much worse when we
betray, or are betrayed, by a family member.
Sometimes it may seem easier to cut our losses and run when we
decide the relationship isn’t worth the effort of rebuilding. Of course,
it’s not so easy when it’s a family member, such as a spouse. You could
even say that one of the purposes of marriage is to teach us the lesson
of how to rebuild trust when it is broken.
When trust in a relationship has been compromised, how can both

trust and the relationship be healed and saved? 1 Pet. 5:6, 7; 1 John
4:18; James 5:16; Matt. 6:14, 15.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Rebuilding broken trust is like a journey; you must take it one step
at a time. The journey begins with a sincere acknowledgment of the
hurt and confession of the truth, whatever the offense and whoever the
offender.
When adultery has been the cause of the breach, healing begins when
the betrayer confesses. As part of the healing process, confession must
accompany complete openness on the part of the betrayer. There can be
nothing that remains hidden, or else, when it is found out (and it will
be found out), it will destroy the trust that was reestablished. And the
second time trust is breached, it becomes even harder to heal than the
first breach was.
Rebuilding trust takes time and patience. The more serious the
offense, the more time it will take for it to be repaired. Accept the fact
that sometimes it’s going to feel as if you are moving two steps forward
and three steps backward. One day it seems like there’s hope for tomor-
row, and the next day, you feel like running away. Many have, however,
been able to rebuild their broken relationship and developed a deeper,
more intimate, more satisfying, and happier marriage.
What principles in healing a marriage can be used in the cases

of other kinds of broken trust? At the same time, what might be
a situation in which, though there is forgiveness, there is no more
trust, nor should there be?
113
T uesday May 28
Loss of Trust, Continued

Another way that trust is lost is through family violence. Unthinkable
as it is, research reveals that the home is the single most violent place
in society. Family violence touches all kinds of families, including
Christian homes. Violence is an assault of any kind—verbal, physical,
emotional, sexual, or active or passive neglect—that is committed by
one or more persons against another in the family.
The Bible includes accounts of family violence, even among God’s peo-
ple. What are your thoughts and feelings as you read these verses?
Why do you think these stories were preserved in Scripture?
Gen. 37:17–28
2 Sam. 13:1–22
2 Kings 16:3, 17:17, 21:6
Abusive behavior is the conscious choice of a person to exercise

power and control over another. It cannot be explained or excused by
alcoholism, stress, the need to fulfill sexual desires, the need for better
control of anger, or any behavior of the victim. Victims are not respon-
sible for causing the abuser to abuse. Abusers distort and pervert love,
for “love does no harm” (Rom. 13:10, NIV). Professional treatment can
facilitate change in an abuser’s behavior but only if the person takes
responsibility for the behavior and seeks such help. To those who will
open themselves to His presence, God is able to do exceedingly abun-
dantly to help abusers stop abusing, to repent of their attitudes and
behavior, to make restitution in every way possible, and to embrace
the qualities of agape love to heal their own hearts and to love others
(compare Eph. 3:20).
Try to put yourself in the place of someone traumatized by vio-

lence. What words of acceptance, comfort, and hope would you
like to hear? Why is it important to provide safety and caring
acceptance rather than offering advice about how to live better
with the abuser?
_____________________________________________________
114
W ednesday May 29
Loss of Freedom
God alone knows how many millions, even billions, of people
struggle with some form of addiction. To this day, scientists still don’t
understand exactly what causes it, even though in some cases they
actually can see the part of our brain in which the cravings and desires
are located.
Unfortunately, however, finding the locations of those addictions is
not the same thing as freeing us from the addictions.
Addiction is hard on everyone, not just the addict. Family members—
parents, spouses, children—all suffer greatly when any member of the
family is under the grip of a power that they just can’t seem to get free
of.
Drugs, alcohol, tobacco, gambling, pornography, sex, even food—
what makes these things into addictions is the habitual and progressive
nature of their use or abuse. You are unable to stop even when you
know that it is harming you. While enjoying your freedom of choice,
you become a slave to whatever you are addicted to, and so you actually
lose your freedom. Peter has a simple explanation of what an addiction
is and its results: “They promise freedom to everyone. But they are
merely slaves of filthy living, because people are slaves of whatever
controls them” (2 Pet. 2:19, CEV).
What are the things that can lead people into addiction? Luke 16:13,
Rom. 6:16, James 1:13–15, 1 John 2:16.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Sin and addiction are not, necessarily, the same thing. You can com-
mit a sin that you are not addicted to, though so often it can turn into
an addiction. How much better, through the power of God, to stop the
sin before it turns into an addiction. And, of course, the only lasting
solution to the sin and addiction problem is by receiving a new heart.
“Because we belong to Christ Jesus, we have killed our selfish feelings
and desires” (Gal. 5:24, CEV). Paul also explains to the Romans what
it means to die to that sinful, addictive nature so we can live for Christ
(Rom. 6:8–13), and then adds, “Let the Lord Jesus Christ be as near to
you as the clothes you wear. Then you won’t try to satisfy your selfish
desires” (Rom. 13:14, CEV).
Who has not personally known the struggle of addiction, either our-
selves or in that of others, maybe even family members? How can
you help people realize that it’s not an admission of spiritual failure
if, even as Christians, they might still need professional help?
.
115
T hursday May 30
Loss of Life
As human beings, we know the reality of death. We read about it,
we see it, and we maybe have even come close to facing it ourselves.
Read 1 Corinthians 15:26. How is death described, and why is it

described this way?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Who, having lost a loved one, doesn’t experience for themselves
just how great an enemy death is? On the other hand, the dead have it
“good.” If, in the Lord, they close their eyes and in what seems like an
instant to them, they are raised to immortality. “To the believer, death is
but a small matter. . . . To the Christian, death is but a sleep, a moment
of silence and darkness. The life is hid with Christ in God, and “ ‘when
Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with Him
in glory.’ ”—Ellen G. White, The Desire of Ages, p. 787.
No, it’s the living, especially the remaining friends or family members,
who know the real pain and grief following a death. The fact is that grief
is a natural, normal response to loss. It is the emotional suffering we
experience when something or someone we love is taken away.
The grieving process is not the same for everyone, but in general
most people go through several stages. The first and most common
reaction to the death of a loved one is shock and denial, even when
the death is expected. Shock is your emotional protection from being
too suddenly overwhelmed by the loss, and it may last from two to
three months. You also may go through a time when you are constantly
absorbed by thoughts of your loved one, even during common, daily
tasks. Often conversations turn to your loss or loved one. This period
may last from six months to a year.
The stage of despair and depression is a long period of grief, prob-
ably the most painful and protracted stage for the griever, during which
you gradually come to terms with the reality of your loss. During this
stage, you may experience a range of emotions, such as anger, guilt,
regret, sadness, and anxiety. The goal of grieving is not to eliminate all
your pain or the memories of your loss. In the final stage of recovery,
you begin to have a renewed interest in daily activities and to function
normally from day to day.
What comforting thoughts can you find in the following pas-

sages? Rom. 8:31–39, Rev. 21:4, 1 Cor. 15:52–57.
_____________________________________________________
116
F riday May 31
Further Thought: Many have suffered as a result of their addictions.

They have become slaves to their desires and have lost their money, their
jobs, their health, and their freedom. But Jesus came to give us freedom
from our sin and from all our addictions, and “ ‘if the Son makes you
free, you shall be free indeed’ ” (John 8:36, NKJV). Jesus also prom-
ised that He would always be with us (Matt. 28:20, Isa. 43:2); so, we
do not have to wage this war alone. In fact, we must remember that the
battle is the Lord’s (1 Sam. 17:47), and He promises victory (1 Pet.
1:3–9). Today you can begin on the road to victory over any addiction
and receive the freedom you desire and what God wants for you. This
doesn’t mean you won’t struggle, and it doesn’t mean that, at times,
you won’t fail. But the good news is that as long as you don’t give up
on the Lord, He won’t give up on you. And yes, there’s nothing wrong
with seeking professional help, too. Just as the Lord can use a medical
professional to help you with health problems, He can use a professional
counselor to help with addiction, as well.
“When difficulties and trials surround us, we should flee to God, and
confidently expect help from Him who is mighty to save and strong to
deliver. We must ask for God’s blessing if we would receive it. Prayer
is a duty and a necessity; but do we not neglect praise? Should we not
oftener render thanksgiving to the Giver of all our blessings? We need
to cultivate gratitude. We should frequently contemplate and recount
the mercies of God, and laud and glorify His holy name, even when we
are passing through sorrow and affliction.”—Ellen G. White, Selected
Messages, book 2, p. 268.
 What part does forgiveness play in loss of trust and in the heal-
ing of a broken relationship? Matt. 6:12–15; 18:21, 22. “Love . . .
doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do” (1 Cor. 13:5, CEV).
 What is the benefit of contemplating and recounting the mer-

cies of God while we’re passing through sorrow and affliction?
 What are practical ways your church family, as a whole, can

help those who are struggling with any kind of loss?
117
i n s i d e
Story
God Had Other Plans
As she finished high school, Jo-Anna Clayton devised a plan for college.
For the first year, she would enroll in a community college near home
in the U.S. state of West Virginia. This way she could take basic classes at
reduced tuition costs and stay with her parents and three younger sisters.
After that, she would transfer to a Seventh-day Adventist school to study
nursing.
But the plan collapsed during the summer. She just couldn’t find a way to
get to the community college from her parents’ rural home. Jo-Anna couldn’t
obtain a driver’s license because her parents, natives of Jamaica, were sorting
out the family’s U.S. residency papers. Her parents couldn’t drive her back and
forth, and no public buses stopped near her home.
Soon, only a month remained before the start of the school year, and she
had nowhere to study.
Then her mother, Suzanne, remembered that family friends worked at
Weimar Institute in California. Jo-Anna immediately went online and did
some research.
“I don’t want to go to California!” she told her mother. “That’s too far away.”
“You should at least think about it and pray about it,” her mother replied.
Later that day, she did pray. “Please don’t make me go to California,” she
said. “If I have to go to California, let one of my friends come with me.”
A week later, Jo-Anna spoke with a Weimar recruiter and began to think
that maybe God wanted her to study there. But a major barrier stood ahead:
her parents could cover only the down payment and the first three months of
classes.
Then a series of unexpected events rapidly unfolded.
Jo-Anna applied for and received a scholarship. While assisting people
affected by local flooding, she connected with several Adventist physicians
who pledged $500 a month toward her tuition. She raised $1,800 by writing
financial assistance letters to family friends. Soon she had enough money to
enroll, and she started classes in the fall.
“I didn’t have any doubt that I was where God wanted me to be,” she said.
While she missed her family dreadfully for the first few months, the reali
zation that she was at the center of God’s will
energized her as she worked 25 hours a week
to earn more tuition money.
Jo-Anna, now 19, completed her first year debt-free,
and she said God still pays her bills.
“I work like crazy, and when I do what I can, I say again,
‘Lord, this is what I can provide. Now show me what You
can do,’ ” she said. “He works it out for me.”
teachers comments
Part I: Overview
There are some phases of family life we wish we never had to go through.
Some are inevitable, but still acutely painful, such as the eventual loss
of health and life. Others we never imagined possible. Who would have
dreamed that our wedding days, standing before friends and family, also
could be the inaugurations of adultery, addiction, or domestic violence?
But it happens all the time. This week’s lesson ponders some of the more
sobering realities of family life that we will be exposed to, and addresses
them through biblical and Christian counsel.
There is no doubt that our physical health and well-being are a con-
cern to our Lord. When we suffer, He suffers: “Surely he hath borne our
griefs, and carried our sorrows” (Isa. 53:4). We might have thought that
when the Messiah came to the world, He would have had more pressing
responsibilities than to spend time healing individuals, but we would be
wrong. That is exactly where He spent most of His time. We can assume
His heart has not changed in that respect. Therefore, His ever-present
concern and care for the sick should forever stamp the ministries of those
who take His name.
“I trusted you!” The tone in which one reads those words betrays the
reality that they are often spoken following grievous acts of betrayal.
Jesus Himself knows what it is like to be betrayed (Luke 22:48) and can
empathize with all those who have had their trust dashed. Even His words
concerning adultery (Matt. 5:28), though often read in light of personal
holiness, can be seen as an attempt at preserving spousal commitment by
wisely preventing in the heart that which the law condemns in the body.
Part II: Commentary

A Suffering God Worldview
At some level, we all must intellectually wrestle with the persistent pain
and suffering in the world. Joseph’s first serious wrestling was an informal
memorial service in which he had to look into the eyes of a mother and
tell her about a God who was present when her son (Joseph’s best friend
in elementary school) suffered brain damage in a car accident and then
later ended his very difficult life through suicide. Joseph wasn’t yet 20,
and neither was his best friend. It is often hard to know what to say in
such moments. No doubt it wasn’t easy for Joseph. But it would have been
119
teachers comments
harder if the God whom Joseph was sharing with his best friend’s mother
hadn’t watched His own Son hang and die on a cross. Our God has drunk
the dregs of personal pain and suffering and therefore is experientially
qualified to speak to our pain. He stands unique among all “gods” in this
respect.
As this lesson moves through times of loss that bring us face to face
with a range of suffering, it is crucial that the true God—not a god who
has insulated himself from suffering—be present in the discussion. In The
Cross of Christ (Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press, 2006) the late
churchman John R. W. Stott famously noted, “I could never myself believe
in God, if it were not for the cross. . . . In the real world of pain, how could
one worship a God who was immune to it?” He continues to say that our
sufferings become more manageable in light of His. How true.
Encouraging Examples
Annie Johnson Flint, and the beauty that poured from her arthritic fingers,
ministers to us all when we see the loss of health in a loved one or feel it
in ourselves. She was orphaned as a child and eventually acquired severe
rheumatoid arthritis, which twisted and racked her body with pain. She
developed cancer, became incontinent, and later struggled with blindness.
Her pain and the sores on her body were so intense that her biographer
said that the last time he had seen her, she had had seven or eight pillows
cushioning her body. Yet, from this crippled daughter of God came this
hymn of praise:
He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;
To added affliction He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.
Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
When thinking of the loss of life, we should remember the passing
of Henry White, Ellen White’s oldest son. He had contracted a cold,
developed pneumonia, and become deathly ill. Ellen White recounts a
120
120
teachers comments
touching moment with her son: “When Henry White, our eldest son, lay
dying, he said, ‘A bed of pain is a precious place when we have the pres-
ence of Jesus.’ ”—Selected Messages, book 2, p. 274. In December of
1863, James and Ellen White lost their “sweet singer.” He had requested
to be buried next to his little brother, John Herbert, so that they could
come up together in the resurrection. He was only 16 years old when
he died, but he left an endowment born from experience: the presence
of Jesus and the promise of the resurrection. These twin gifts make all
things bearable.
The Root of Violence and Adultery
Whether one is a Christian or not, Jesus of Nazareth should be com-

mended by all for His penchant at exposing the roots of human evil. Most
people can recognize social problems, such as domestic violence and
adultery, but fail at proposing rigorous enough solutions that make a sig-
nificant difference. Jesus, on the other hand, had no qualms in exposing,
and then severing, the root of these vices. As the Bible study guide touches
on the subject of family violence and infidelity, we would do well to heed
Jesus’ penetrating insight on these subjects.
Jesus traces the seeds of marital infidelity and murder (the apex of
violence) to activities that all of us have personally participated in (Matt.
5:21, 22, 27, 28). The sobering reality is that the lustful eye and the
angry spirit, something we’ve all experienced, places each of us on a
trajectory that, if allowed to continue unchecked, terminates in adultery
and murder. If that sounds too extreme, consider Jesus’ appeal to the
highest court in the land, the Sanhedrin, and eventually to “hell fire” for
simply the angry utterances of contempt toward another (Matt. 5:22).
This language is not hyperbole but the brute realism that murder and
adultery are the oak trees within the acorns of lust and anger.
Jesus is both preventive and preemptive when dealing with sexual sin
and murder (extreme violence). He brings the “battle to the enemy” at its
incipient phase (i.e., the lustful look and the angry word). He is not so
naive as to wait to deter the violence of a man half crazed with anger or
to wait to expect sexual faithfulness from one completely given over to
lustful gawking or imaginations. Imagine a society (family, church, and
state) that took the words of Jesus seriously and inculcated from an early
age a sense of dread or shame at ever entertaining unchecked anger, and
that also disparaged any sensuality that fostered lustful thoughts or looks.
Tragic Testimony
One would hope that homes proclaiming to follow Jesus—Christian
121
teachers comments
homes—would be exempt from domestic violence. But on the contrary,

Benjamin Keyes, with Regent University’s Center for Trauma Studies,
deplores the fact that “in Christian marriages we have a much greater fre-
quency of domestic violence than we do in non-Christian homes.”—In
Charlene Aaron, “Domestic Abuse in the Church: ‘A Silent Epidemic,’ ”
Feb. 5, 2006, retrieved from http://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/us/2016/January
/Combating-Domestic-Abuse-in-the-Church. Surprised? Perhaps stories such
as Marleen’s need to be made front and center: “A woman I’ll call ‘Marleen’
went to her pastor for help. ‘My husband is abusing me,’ she told him.
‘Last week he knocked me down and kicked me. He broke one of my ribs.’
Marleen’s pastor was sympathetic. He prayed with Marleen—and then he
sent her home. ‘Try to be more submissive,’ he advised. ‘After all, your
husband is your spiritual head.’ Two weeks later, Marleen was dead—killed
by an abusive husband. Her church could not believe it. Marleen’s husband
was a Sunday School teacher and a deacon. How could he have done such a
thing?”—Chuck Colson, “Domestic Violence Within the Church: The Ugly
Truth,” Oct. 20, 2009, retrieved from http://www.christianheadlines.com
/news/domestic-violence-within-the-church-the-ugly-truth-11602500.html.
Remind your class that in this week’s lesson the authors who highlighted
domestic violence are fully aware that their audience is composed of the
Christians sitting in your Sabbath School. This lesson study provides an
opportunity to take what has been considered a “silent epidemic” and to
expose it, encouraging those under its abuse to seek help today.

Even though this week’s lesson has been occupied with the more somber
experiences of life, it touches on what is really happening in homes of
church members. It is not always a “happy Sabbath” for some on Sabbath
morning. Your Sabbath School class provides opportunity for those who are
hurting to share and seek help. Watch for those moments. Discuss a few of
the practical ways that churches can become havens for families in trouble.
Here are some points to get the discussion started.
1. One way to create a healing community within a church is to con-

nect those who have suffered in the past with those suffering in the
present. Even those suffering in the present can minister to others
suffering in the present. Ask the class to think of ways the local
church could accomplish this goal, inspiring them with this quote:
“Those who have borne the greatest sorrows are frequently the
122
teachers comments
ones who carry the greatest comfort to others, bringing sunshine

wherever they go. Such ones have been chastened and sweetened
by their afflictions; they did not lose confidence in God when
trouble assailed them, but clung closer to His protecting love.”
—Selected Messages, book 2, p. 274.
2. Violence in families is a problem for so many reasons. But a par-

ticularly pernicious one is the fact it is often concealed in silence
and denial. Just as the Bible is transparent about the abuses of its
notable families (Gen. 4:8, 37:17–36, 2 Sam. 11:4, 13:14), violence
of all stripes, within families, needs to be addressed for the sake
of safety, accountability, and one’s Christian commitment. How
can the local church create avenues for victims of abuse to find
refuge within its walls?
123
L esson 10 *June 1–7
Little Times of Trouble
Sabbath Afternoon
Read for This Week’s Study: Matt. 7:5; Eph. 1:7; Phil.
2:4–8; Eph. 4:26, 27; James 1:19, 20; Col. 3:19; Matt. 7:12.
Memory Text: “ ‘Be angry, and do not sin’: do not let the sun go
down on your wrath” (Ephesians 4:26, NKJV).
E
ven the best of homes will face times of struggle, times of con-
flict. It’s just one of the facts of life in a fallen world. Simple
things, such as whose turn it is to take out the trash, whether your
teenage daughter finished her homework, whether your son has done
his chores, are bothersome but relatively minor issues that can, gener-
ally, be resolved with minimal disruption. But other issues can threaten
to disrupt family life. The mother-in-law whose abuse and manipula-
tion threatens to destroy a woman’s marriage and her health; the father
with mental illness who abuses his children; the son who abandons all
his religious upbringing to give himself to a promiscuous lifestyle; or
the daughter who becomes a substance abuser.
Repeatedly in the New Testament we are told to love one another
(John 13:34, Rom. 12:10), to live in peace and harmony with one
another (Rom. 15:5, Heb. 12:14), to be patient, kind, and tenderhearted
toward one another (1 Cor. 13:4), to consider others before ourselves
(Phil. 2:3), and to bear one another’s burdens (Eph. 4:2). Of course, all
this is easier said than done, even with our own family members. In this
lesson, we will look at some ways to help mollify little times of trouble,
especially in the family.
124
S unday June 2
Conflict
Read Matthew 7:5 and Proverbs 19:11. What two important prin-
ciples can help us avoid conflict with others?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
The writer of Proverbs makes a very astute observation: “The start of
an argument is like a water leak—so stop it before real trouble breaks
out” (Prov. 17:14, CEV). Once begun, a conflict can become incredibly
hard to shut down. According to Romans 14:19, we can prevent conflict
by following after two things: that which makes for peace and that with
which one may edify another. How much more so are these principles
crucial to harmony in the family?
Sometimes when you admit your responsibility in a conflict, it may
cause the other party to soften. Take a step back and consider if it’s even
a worthy battle. Proverbs states, “Those with good sense are slow to
anger, and it is their glory to overlook an offense” (Prov. 19:11, NRSV).
At the same time, consider what difference this is going to make in your
life in three days. Better yet, what impact will it have in 5 or 10 years?
How many marriages, for instance, have had difficult times over issues
that today seem so trivial?
Instead of letting conflict drag on for a long time, as you speak with
the other person, a spouse, a child, a friend, a coworker, you may want
to clearly define the problem or issue under discussion and stay on
the immediate topic. Conflict often deteriorates when the issue that
started the conflict gets lost in angry words; meanwhile, past issues or
past hurts are tossed into the mix (this can be deadly, especially to a
marriage). One way to have a better and softer start to the discussion
is to affirm your relationship. Let the other person know that you care
deeply about them and about your relationship. Once you have stated
your positive feelings, you can move to the issue at hand; however, be
careful not to use the word but. Stating a positive thought and then say-
ing “but” negates what you just stated. Once you share your feelings,
listen to the other person’s perspective, reflect on what he or she has
said, and only then propose a solution that keeps everyone’s best inter-
ests in mind (Phil. 2:4, 5).
Think back about some conflicts that now appear so silly and
meaningless. What can you learn from those experiences that
could help prevent, at least from your side, something similar
from happening again?
125
M onday June 3
Some Principles for Marriage

Marriage, like the Sabbath, is a gift of God to humanity that goes
back to Eden. And, as Seventh-day Adventists, we know what the
enemy of souls has done, and is still doing, to both the Sabbath and
to marriage. Even the best of marriages are, at times, going to suffer
from conflict.
What follow are a few principles that can help couples work through
these issues.
Read Ephesians 1:7. What crucial principle is found here that must be
part of any marriage?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
You must learn to forgive, especially when your spouse doesn’t deserve
it. Anyone can forgive the deserving: in fact, that’s hardly forgiveness.
True forgiveness is forgiving those who don’t warrant it, the way the
Lord forgives us through Christ. We must do likewise. Otherwise, our
marriage, if it survives (which isn’t likely), will seem like purgatory.
Read Romans 3:23. What crucial principle is found here, as well?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
You must accept that you’re married to a sinner, to a being who has
been damaged to some degree emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
Get used to it. Accept your spouse’s faults. Pray your way through
them. You might have to live with those faults, but you don’t have to
obsess over them. If you do, they will eat you alive. A holy and perfect
God, through Christ, accepts us as we are: you, who are hardly holy and
perfect, must do the same with your spouse.
Read Philippians 2:4–8. What important principle here, as well,

can we use that can help us, not just in marriage but in all poten-
tially troublesome relationships?
_____________________________________________________
126
T uesday June 4
The Role of Anger in Conflict

Who hasn’t experienced anger at one point or another? What makes
it harder is when that anger is directed at a family member. Along with
refusing to forgive, anger can turn into a poison that will wreak great
pain and suffering on the home and family and relationships in general.
Read Ephesians 4:26, 27 and Ecclesiastes 7:9. How can we balance our
understanding of anger as an emotion and anger as a sin? What is
the difference?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
What does James say in James 1:19, 20 that we should apply at all
times that we can—but especially when dealing with family mem-
bers whose actions and attitudes and words make us angry?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
If you’re angry about something, instead of letting it hover like a
dark cloud over your life, turn it into something positive. Pray for those
who hurt and abuse you, forgive them and become a blessing to them.
It probably won’t be easy at first, but when you make the decision and
stick with it, God will take care of the rest.
Sometimes the root of anger stems from the homes we grew up in.
Angry people often come from angry families because they learn from
their role models and carry on the same behavior in their own lives,
eventually passing it on to their children. At times anger may be the
result of unmet needs or due to jealousy, as was Cain’s case, which led
to the murder of his brother.
You may have a good reason to be angry, but don’t use it as an excuse
to stay that way. Don’t deny it or try to justify it. Instead, ask God to help
you deal with it in a positive way. The apostle Paul gives us good advice:
“Don’t let evil defeat you, but defeat evil with good” (Rom. 12:21, CEV).
We all have things that anger us, even to the point of pain. And,
in some cases, we probably are justified in that anger. The ques-
tion is, How can we, through the power of God, not let that anger
make us, and others around us, miserable?
_____________________________________________________
127
W ednesday June 5
Conflict, Abuse, Power, and Control

Sometimes unresolved conflict and anger may develop into a very
negative, destructive dynamic, even an abusive relationship. Abuse can
take a number of forms—physical, verbal, emotional, psychological,
sexual, et cetera. But any form of abuse is contrary to the central prin-
ciple of God’s kingdom—unselfish love.
What crucial teachings about relationships are found in 1 John 4:7, 8

and Colossians 3:19?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” (Col.
3:19, NIV). The word harsh in the original Greek language refers to
one’s being angry or bitter toward the partner, causing continued pain,
intense hostility, and expressions of hatred toward the other. Paul is
very clear that a spouse is not to be hostile or violent. Emotional,
sexual, and physical abuse is not acceptable behavior for a Christian
husband or partner. Instead, what is acceptable is to love your spouse.
Paul also makes it clear that love is patient and kind and that love does
not envy, does not boast, is not proud, is not rude, is not self-seeking,
is not easily angered, does not keep record of wrongs, does not delight
in evil, but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, and always perseveres. None of the attributes of love
even remotely condones or accepts abuse in any way, shape, or form.
A healthy relationship is one in which both partners feel protected and
safe, in which anger is managed in a healthy way, and in which serving
one another is the norm. Often victims of abuse feel guilty, as if they
were responsible for provoking their abuser or that perhaps they somehow
deserve the abuse they receive. Abusers can be quite controlling and often
skillful at making their victims feel responsible. The truth is that no one
deserves to be abused by another, and abusers are responsible for their own
choices and actions. The good news is that the Bible offers comfort, not
guilt, for the victims of abuse. In some situations, in which the problem
gets unmanageable, people should not be afraid to seek outside help.
How unfortunate that some cultures all but condone abuse of

women. Why should no Christian ever fall into that kind of
behavior, regardless of what their culture allows?
_____________________________________________________
128
T hursday June 6
Forgiveness and Peace

“Treat others as you want them to treat you. This is what the Law
and the Prophets are all about” (Matt. 7:12, CEV). Think about all
the ways in your own experience, within the family and without,
in which you need to apply this principle, and, on the lines below,
write down just what those times might be and determine, by faith,
how you can do just that.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
The writer of Hebrews counseled, “Pursue peace with all people, and
holiness, without which no one will see the Lord” (Heb. 12:14, NKJV).
Even when we take all the steps necessary, some people who have hurt
us will still not listen and change. Perhaps some may offer an apology,
but others will not. Either way, it is to our benefit, especially when it is
a family member, that we take the journey of forgiveness talked about
earlier.
In fact, forgiveness is an essential part of conflict resolution, espe-
cially in the family. When a person sins against us, God’s enemy loves
to place a wall between us and that person, a roadblock that prevents us
from loving that person as Christ loved us. Forgiveness is a choice that
we make to get around that roadblock.
“We are not forgiven because we forgive, but as we forgive. The
ground of all forgiveness is found in the unmerited love of God, but by
our attitude toward others we show whether we have made that love our
own. Wherefore Christ says, ‘With what judgment ye judge, ye shall be
judged; and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you
again.’ Matt. 7:2.”—Ellen G. White, Christ’s Object Lessons, p. 251.
At the same time, when we are the ones at fault, we need to try to
restore the broken relationship with another person, which may involve
going to the other person and telling him or her that you regret what
you’ve done and asking for their forgiveness. That’s what Jesus said:
“So if you are about to place your gift on the altar and remember that
someone is angry with you, leave your gift there in front of the altar.
Make peace with that person, then come back and offer your gift to
God” (Matt. 5:23, 24, CEV). It is nice when someone who has hurt us
apologizes and asks for forgiveness. Likewise, it is nice when we give
others the same type of care.
How does thinking about all that you need to be forgiven of help
you learn to forgive others?
129
F riday June 7
Further Thought: “Too often the parents are not united in their family
government. The father, who is with his children but little, and is ignorant
of their peculiarities of disposition and temperament, is harsh and severe.
He does not control his temper, but corrects in passion. The child knows
this, and instead of being subdued, the punishment fills him with anger.
The mother allows misdemeanors to pass at one time for which she will
severely punish at another. The children never know just what to expect,
and are tempted to see how far they can transgress with impunity. Thus are
sown seeds of evil that spring up and bear fruit.”—Ellen G. White, The
Adventist Home, pp. 314, 315.
“Home is to be the center of the purest and most elevated affection.
Peace, harmony, affection, and happiness should be perseveringly cher-
ished every day, until these precious things abide in the hearts of those
who compose the family. The plant of love must be carefully nourished,
else it will die. Every good principle must be cherished if we would
have it thrive in the soul. That which Satan plants in the heart—envy,
jealousy, evil surmising, evil speaking, impatience, prejudice, selfish-
ness, covetousness, and vanity—must be uprooted. If these evil things
are allowed to remain in the soul, they will bear fruit by which many
shall be defiled. Oh, how many cultivate the poisonous plants that kill
out the precious fruits of love and defile the soul!”—Pages 195, 196.
 Read the following quote from a book about marriage. “ ‘For
we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling
of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet
without sin’ (Heb. 4:15). Just as Christ put Himself in our situation,
to best relate to us, we should do the same with our marriage part-
ner. Try to view any given situation or crisis not just from your own
perspective but from your spouse’s. See how he or she views the
situation, how it has an impact on him or her, and why he or she
would feel about it the way he or she does. This principle can go a long
way in alleviating tough situations.”—Clifford Goldstein, The Mules
That Angels Ride (Hagerstown, Md.: Review and Herald®Publishing
Association, 2005), p. 25. In what ways can we apply this principle
to all areas of potential conflict with others?
 In class, answer the question, “Is anger always a sin?” Defend

your position.
130
i n s i d e
Story
Paying With Prayer
Choomba Simillah was being expelled from the University of Zambia.
He owed 9,000 Zambian kwacha (about US$900), and he had no idea where
to obtain the money.
But Simillah wasn’t going to give up. He was studying for a bachelor’s degree
at the public university while teaching at Rusangu Secondary School, a Seventh-
day Adventist boarding academy in Zambia.
Simillah approached various people to ask to borrow the money. He looked
for a way to sell his car, a maroon Toyota Voltz. He prayed to God to intervene.
Then he went to a bank in Monze, the nearest town to Rusangu Secondary
School, to apply for a loan. He learned, however, that the bank had stopped
offering loans.
As he dejectedly left the bank, a friend called out on the street, “Can I hire
your car for 21 days?”
Simillah looked up.
“There is a white man who has a daughter coming here for the holidays,” the
friend said. “He wants to travel. He asked me to look for a sound car, and I think
yours will do.”
“That sounds like an opportunity,” Simillah said. “What should I do?”
“Just take your car to the car wash,” the friend said.
Simillah gave his car a good wash and met with the man, who was spending
several months with a friend in Monze. He said he wanted to take his daughter
on a tour of Zambia and offered 12,000 kwacha to borrow the car for 21 days.
The amount was enough to buy a secondhand car.
“I couldn’t believe it,” Simillah said in an interview.
The man wanted to take the car on a Saturday. Simillah needed the money,
but he refused, not wanting to engage in a business transaction on the Sabbath.
“No, we can meet on Sunday,” he said, praying silently that the man wouldn’t
change his mind.
The man agreed to pick up the car on Sunday and offered him the cash on
the spot.
Simillah promptly returned tithe and went to the university to pay off his bill.
He never was expelled and graduated in 2016.
Now more than ever, he believes in the power of
prayer.
“Be patient and trust in God,” said Simillah, 37.
“You might struggle to do this or that, but He knows
what you want. His appointed time always comes.”
The Rusangu Mission, where the secondary school is located, was
established with mission funds in the early 1900s. Thank you for
your mission offering.
teachers comments
Part I: Overview
“Little times of trouble” will be part of all relationships that venture past
mere acquaintance. Prevention through wise Christian principles should
always be the policy. But sooner or later, conflicts will slip into even the
closest and healthiest of relationships. Fortunately, the Bible is full of
insights to ensure that conflicts don’t become conflagrations that destroy
families and friendships.
Being told to love and be kind (John 13:34, 35), live in peace and
harmony with one another (Rom. 15:13–16), and forgive (Eph. 4:31, 32)
may sound like banal family advice for Christians. But these are exactly
the attitudes one is quick to forget in times of conflict. Perhaps the hardest
thing to do in an emotionally escalating situation is to remember that our
Christianity is to be palpable in those moments. To put it more bluntly, one
could say our Christian witness stands or falls, not when we are at church,
in prayer, or in Bible study but when we are in the privacy of our homes,
engaging with our families.
Because family members are bound to do or say things that they will
eventually regret, forgiveness becomes a key component in the discussion
of family troubles. Being one who is quick to forgive, who doesn’t keep a
record of past wrongs, and who doesn’t passively resent the other person
(while feigning forgiveness) is nothing short of miraculous. One couple
shared how their forgiveness had to deepen once they got married: “Our
character flaws spilled all over the place once we married. We had to go
from learning to just forgive one another for isolated mistakes to learning
how to forgive who the other person was.” In order to forgive like that and
manifest Christlike forgiveness toward our family, God’s forgiveness for
us through Christ needs to be kept front and center (Eph. 1:7).
Part II: Commentary

Scripture
The Sermon on the Mount is an exposition on holiness, a paragon of ethi-

cal teaching, and has been considered the “Kingdom Manifesto.” A mani-
festo declares the intentions and objectives of a government or movement.
The nature and character of the kingdom Jesus inaugurated is on display
in His most well-known sermon. No wonder it serves doubly as a rich
resource of familial advice and wisdom. Kingdom principles are played
out in the context of relationships; so, familial relationships are fair game
as the target of God’s kingdom intentions.
132
teachers comments
The lesson refers to Christ’s counsel, “ ‘You hypocrite, first take the log
out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out
of your brother’s eye’ ” (Matt. 7:5, ESV), as a principle that can help avert
conflict. This verse and the surrounding passage are probably the most
used and misused section of anything Christ ever spoke. Therefore, this
section bears some further reflection.
If there is one phrase in all of Scripture that has permeated into the
verbal arsenal of Western culture, known by both Christian and secular-
ist alike, it is “ ‘Judge not, that you be not judged’ ” (Matt. 7:1, ESV).
This aphorism, of course, is the context for what Jesus says about “logs”
and “eyes.” Unfortunately, this phrase has been co-opted by a relativistic
worldview and used ubiquitously to stop anyone from saying that anybody
is doing anything wrong, which, of course, would be a “judgment” made
on that person. To keep this discussion along relational lines, marriages
would not go far, or would be severely stunted, if judgments of right/
wrong, good/bad, loving/unloving, or helpful/hurtful could not be made
on a regular basis without “ ‘Judge not’ ” being invoked as a dialogue
stopper. Anyone familiar at all with the Bible or Jesus’ teachings knows
that this invocation certainly is not the proper application of this phrase.
So what is the proper application of this teaching of Christ? How can it
be a key in preventing, and perhaps resolving, conflict, especially within
families?
Perhaps the best place to start understanding the purpose of Matthew
7:1–5 is to visualize the picture Jesus paints. It certainly isn’t about deny-
ing the existence of problems in other people’s, or one’s own, family.
Problems the size of logs (δοκός : wood the size of floor paneling in
Solomon’s temple [1 Kings 6:15, LXX]) are sticking out of eyes. But here
is the striking contrast Jesus makes. Those with the big problems, the logs,
are correcting/rebuking those with the smaller problems, ones that Jesus
likens to specks. And they are doing so in a hypocritical fashion (Matt. 7:5).
It is this posture of engagement that is so detrimental to relationships—the
one who commits the flagrant sin, perhaps in a state of total denial, attack-
ing some peccadillo that he or she microscopically identifies in another.
Often the best way to hide one’s own faults is to viciously attack others
for theirs. This behavior is a recipe for disaster in relationships, marriage
and family included.
Amazingly, Jesus engenders hope that both individuals can stand
before each other, clear of their ocular impediments. This hope is good
news for relations between husbands, wives, parents, children, and sib-
lings. Our problems, issues, or sins don’t have to have the last word in
undercutting our relationships with one another. Conflict does not have
to be all-consuming, but Jesus’ simple, yet not easy, command needs to
be heeded: “ ‘first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will
see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye’ ” (Matt. 7:5,
ESV). Here, then, is the posture of prevention and resolve when conflict
133 133
teachers comments
threatens relationships: (1) Before one addresses another’s problems,

one should come with an attitude that his or her own problems are
greater than those they are addressing. (2) Ask the other person to point
out blind spots (logs) that have gone unaddressed or denied. (3) Ask for
forgiveness for one’s own sins, which, if they are logs, have been doing
a lot more damage in the relationship than the specks he or she hoped to
address. (4) If things go well, one can ask (Matt. 7:7) if now is a good
time to share concerns he or she has with their partner for the growth
and preservation of the relationship. Christ’s counsel, the presence of
His Spirit, and a humble, teachable attitude will go a long way in conflict
prevention and resolve. The judgmental, hypocritical attack of another’s
faults will be ineffective at resolving anything and will possibly only
invite the same response. Jesus knew this and therefore warned, “ ‘Judge
not, that you be not judged’ ” (Matt. 7:1, ESV).
Forgiveness
The secret (if it can be called that) to being an inveterate forgiver is to live
the life of the forgiven: “Be kind to one another, . . . forgiving one another,
as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:32, ESV). But intellectually accept-
ing that God has forgiven us is different from actually living the forgiven
life. Nowhere in Scripture is this difference more striking than in Jesus’
famous parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:23–35. From
this angle, one could say that the unforgiving servant (forgiven 10,000 tal-
ents) did not appropriate the reality of his forgiveness to the degree that it
compelled him to offer even a fraction of that forgiveness to another (100
denarii). He heard he was forgiven, maybe believed it, too; but it didn’t
become a central feature by which he lived and treated others. If forgive-
ness is to flow freely between family members, then God’s forgiveness of
us needs to be a controlling feature of our lives, influencing our treatment
of one another.
A corollary idea of “living forgiven” is to address the one person we
often have the hardest time forgiving. No one highlights this point bet-
ter than Brennan Manning: “Jesus challenges us to forgive everyone we
know. . . . Right now someone exists who has disappointed and offended
us, someone with whom we are continually displeased and with whom we
are more impatient, irritated, unforgiving, and spiteful than we would dare
be with anyone else. That person is ourselves. We are so often fed up with
ourselves. We’re sick of our own mediocrity, revolted by our own incon-
sistency, bored by our own monotony. We would never judge any other of
God’s children with the savage self-condemnation with which we crush
ourselves. Jesus said we are to love our neighbor as ourselves. We must
be patient, gentle, and compassionate with ourselves in the same way we
134
teachers comments
try to love our neighbor.”—The Signature of Jesus (Colorado Springs, Colo.:

Multnomah Books, 1996), p. 162. Or as Francis MacNutt famously quipped:
“If the Lord Jesus Christ has washed you in his own blood and forgiven you
all your sins, how dare you refuse to forgive yourself ?”—The Signature of
Jesus, p. 101.
So, we can take heart in living under the glorious realization that through
Christ we are thoroughly forgiven. Having the Holy Spirit press that truth
through the membrane of our souls, we will be able to genuinely forgive one
another. This understanding truly is a key for experiencing peace within the
family.

Regardless of all that has been said theologically and practically about
forgiveness in the Christian church, forgiveness, as a whole, can still be
very difficult in certain situations. We have a tendency to hold on to past
offenses with clenched fists, especially if wrongs have gone unresolved.
Discuss with the class strategies to “let go” and offer the reminder that the
grudges harm only the bearer, not the perpetrator. Here is an ancient parable
that nails that point:
Two monks (an older and younger), on their way to a monastery high in the
mountains, came across a woman who was having difficulty crossing a swift
running creek. Given that the monks kept strict vows not to touch women,
the younger assumed they would pass her by. But the older monk hoisted the
woman on his back, carried her across the creek, and let her down on the other
side. The younger monk was offended, but he repressed his objections for
hours until they reached the summit of the mountain, upon which he exploded
with “How could you violate our vows and carry that woman on your back?”
The older monk replied, “It is true; I carried her across the creek, but you
carried her all the way up the mountain.” Christians have no need to carry the
burden of resentment or unforgiveness. The Lord is well able to bear the sins
of the world; He doesn’t need our help.
Notes
135
teachers comments
136
Families of Faith
Sabbath Afternoon
Read for This Week’s Study: Acts 10:1–28, 34, 35; 1 Cor. 2:2;
1 Thess. 5:21, 22; John 1:12, 13; 3:7; 1 John 5:1.
Memory Text: “Therefore . . . let us run with endurance the race

that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of
our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross,
despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne
of God” (Hebrews 12:1, 2, NKJV).
N
o matter what stage of life we are in, or what we have been
through or will face down the road, we exist against the back-
ground of culture. Our parents, our children, our homes, our
families, even our church—all are impacted by the culture in which they
exist, and greatly, too. Though other factors were at play, the change of
the Sabbath to Sunday was a powerful example of how the culture of the
time, powerfully and negatively, influenced the church. Every time we
drive by a church and see a sign for Sunday services, we are given a stark
reminder of just how far-reaching the power of culture can be.
Christian families confront cultural challenges all the time.
Sometimes the cultural influences can be good; most times, though,
the influence is negative.
The great news is that the power of the gospel gives us light, comfort,
and strength to deal with the challenges that culture can bring. This
week we will look at how we can be “families of faith” as we seek to
“become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the
midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as
lights in the world” (Phil. 2:15, NKJV).

137
S unday June 9
“Hold Fast What Is Good”

As the gospel circles the globe, Christians encounter different cultures
and practices, many of which pertain to family and social relationships.
One of the great questions for Christian missionaries is in regard to how
they should relate to various cultural norms about many things, including
family relationships they might personally find uncomfortable.
Read Acts 10:1–28, 34, 35. What can we learn here about our need to
overcome our own barriers and prejudices when dealing with other
cultures?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Christ’s death was for the sins of every human being everywhere.
Many people simply do not know this great truth yet. To bring this news
with an invitation to respond is the evangelistic mission of Christians.
Because God shows no partiality, Christians are called to treat everyone
with respect and integrity, giving them a chance to embrace the good
news that is for them, as well.
What conclusions did early Christian missionaries reach regarding the

presentation of the gospel to other cultures? What principle can we
draw from these texts? Acts 15:19, 20, 28, 29; 1 Cor. 2:2; 1 Thess.
5:21, 22.
___________________________________________________
Though every culture mirrors the fallen condition of the people
within it, cultures also may have beliefs that are compatible with
Scripture, even useful to the cause of the gospel. The value placed upon
close relationships in family and community in many parts of the world
is an example. Christians can uphold and strengthen that which is good
and in keeping with biblical principles.
At the same time, God’s truth must not be compromised. Church
history sadly shows that compromise and accommodation to cultures
has yielded a patchwork of pseudo-Christian beliefs posing as authen-
tic Christianity. Satan claims to be the god of this world and happily
spreads confusion, but Jesus has redeemed this world, and His Spirit
guides His followers into all truth (John 16:13).
How much of your faith is shaped by your culture, and how much
is biblical truth? How can you learn to discern between the two?
Be prepared to discuss your answer in class.
138
M onday June 10
The Power of Culture on Family

“For I know him, that he will command his children and his
household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do
justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that
which he hath spoken of him” (Gen. 18:19).
Though they might come in various configurations, families are the

building blocks of society; thus, many distinct cultural traits of various
societies are directly tied to family. For instance, in one ancient culture it
was deemed a man’s responsibility to eat the corpses of his dead parents;
in another, a man who wanted a bride had to bring her father a dowry of
shrunken heads from a rival tribe. Even in modern times, ideas relating to
children, courtship, divorce, marriage, parents, and so forth vary widely.
As we spread our message to these various cultures, we have to learn how
to relate to them in ways that, while not compromising our beliefs, don’t
cause unnecessary problems. At the same time, and closer to home, we
have to be very aware of just what cultural influences impact our families.
In what ways did culture impact family life in the following examples?
What principles can we learn from these examples?
Gen. 16:1–3
Gen. 35:1–4
Ezra 10
1 Kings 11:1
None of us live in a vacuum; all of us and our families are impacted by

the culture in which we live. Our responsibility as Christians is to exist
within our culture the best we can, keeping that which is in harmony with
our faith, while shunning, as much as possible, that which conflicts with it.
What things in your particular culture are helpful to family life

and in harmony with the Bible? What things are not? How can
you best adapt your faith to your culture without compromising
essential truths?
139
T uesday June 11
Sustaining Families Through Seasons

of Change
Change is an inescapable, unsettling occurrence in families,
regardless of whatever culture they live in. Some change is related to
predictable passage through the life cycle. Often change is unpredict-
able, such as deaths, disasters, war, illnesses, family moves, or career
failures. Many families face economic and social changes in their
communities and countries. Other changes are directly related to the
culture.
Below are some examples of great, even traumatic, changes people

faced. Using your imagination, put yourself in their positions. How
did these changes impact their family life? What mechanism would
you have to help cope? In what ways might you have reacted dif-
ferently?
• Abraham, Sarah, and Lot (Gen. 12:1–5)
• Hadassah (Esther 2:7–9)
• Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah (Daniel 1)
With change comes the experience of loss and the anxiety of uncer-
tainty as to one’s immediate future. Depending on a family’s ability to
adjust to changes, these experiences can propel people to new levels of
growth and appreciation for spiritual things, or they can lead to stress
and anxiety. Satan exploits the disruption changes bring, hoping to
introduce doubt and distrust in God. The promises of God’s Word, the
resources of family and friends, and the assurance that their lives were
in God’s hands helped many heroes and heroines of faith cope success-
fully with momentous life upheaval.
If you know someone (or even a whole family) who is facing a

traumatic change, do something in a practical way to give them
some help and encouragement.
140
W ednesday June 12
Toward a First-Generation Faith

What crisis of faith developed in Israel after Joshua and his peers
died? Judg. 2:7–13.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Studies of how values and beliefs in organizations such as churches are
transmitted to subsequent generations show that the founders have very
high levels of commitment to the beliefs. They were the ones who first
championed them. Within a generation or two, many lose sight of the
principles behind the values. They may go along with the organization—
but often from habit. In subsequent generations, habits tend to crystallize
into traditions. The founders’ passion is no longer present.
It has been said that God has no grandchildren, only children. What do
you think that means? See also John 1:12, 13; 3:7; 1 John 5:1.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
A common approach to transmitting values through long generations
of Christianity has been for older ones simply to tell the youth what
they believe. Learning what one’s parents believe or what the church
believes is not personal faith however. Being a Christian is more than
belonging to an organization with a history and a dogma. True faith
isn’t something genetic, isn’t something that is passed on naturally
from one generation to another. Each one needs to know Christ for him-
self or herself. Parents can do only so much. The church as a whole, and
parents in particular, need to do all they can to create an environment
that will make young people want to make that right choice, but, in the
end, a generation is saved or lost for the gospel one person at a time.
Joe, coming out of atheism, joined the Seventh-day Adventist

Church as an adult after a powerful conversion experience. He
married an Adventist woman and had a few children, whom they,
of course, raised in the faith. One day, thinking about the spiri
tual condition of his children, he said, “Oh, if only my children
would have the experience that I had!” If you had been there,
what would you have said to him?
141
T hursday June 13
Twenty-First-Century Runners
In his popular Bible paraphrase The Message, Eugene Peterson uses
“message” wherever the biblical word for “gospel” appears. The good
news about Jesus is truly the message still needed by the world today.
Christian families are called to experience it together and to share it in
whatever culture they live.
How would you summarize “the message” using the following texts?
Matt. 28:5–7; John 3:16; Rom. 1:16, 17; 1 Cor. 2:2; 2 Cor. 5:18–21.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
The earliest news the disciples ran everywhere with was of the res-
urrection of Jesus. Christian families today join a long line of runners
proclaiming, “ ‘He is risen,’ ” as He said (Matt. 28:7, NKJV). The reality
of His resurrection makes credible everything else Jesus said about
Himself, about God and His love for sinners, about forgiveness, and
about the assurance of eternal life by faith in Him.
Passionate about the gospel. Scripture gives glimpses of the gospel’s
sweeping effect on the lives of Jesus’ early followers. They opened their
homes for Bible study; they prayed and ate together, shared money and
resources, and took care of each other. Whole households embraced the
message. Were they suddenly flawless people? No. Were there some
conflicts and discord among them? Yes. But somehow these followers
of Christ were different. They acknowledged their needs for God and
for each other. They put a priority on unity and harmony at home and
at church, endeavoring to fulfill the Gethsemane prayer of Jesus (John
17:20–23). They witnessed to each other and to unbelievers with bold-
ness, even putting their lives at risk for their beliefs.
So must it be for us. Even in the current age, jaundiced as it is toward
godly things, people who are excited about something still get a hear-
ing. The Spirit longs to fill human hearts with excitement about the
gospel. When the good news really becomes as good in our hearts as it
is within the Word, sharing will be spontaneous and unstoppable.
What changes might need to be made in your own family that
could help it be a better harbinger of “the message” we have been
called to share?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
142
F riday June 14
Further Thought: Ellen G. White, “In the Court of Babylon,”

pp. 479–490, in Prophets and Kings; “Words of Caution,” pp. 324,
329; “No Respect of Persons With God,” pp. 330, 331, in Gospel
Workers; “Rejoicing in the Lord,” pp. 115–126, in Steps to Christ.
No respect of persons with God. “The religion of Christ uplifts the

receiver to a higher plane of thought and action, while at the same
time it presents the whole human race as alike the objects of the
love of God, being purchased by the sacrifice of His Son. At the feet
of Jesus, the rich and the poor, the learned and the ignorant, meet
together, with no thought of caste or worldly preeminence. All earthly
distinctions are forgotten as we look upon Him whom our sins have
pierced. The self-denial, the condescension, the infinite compassion
of Him who was highly exalted in heaven, puts to shame human pride,
self-esteem, and social caste. Pure, undefiled religion manifests its
heaven-born principles in bringing into oneness all who are sanctified
through the truth. All meet as blood-bought souls, alike dependent
upon Him who has redeemed them to God.”—Ellen G. White, Gospel
Workers, p. 330.
 As a class, discuss your answers to Sunday’s study.
 What principles can we find in the Ellen G. White quote
above that, if applied, would revolutionize our family lives?
 How well has your local church done in nurturing the

younger generation of believers? What can you as a class do to
help the church in this important task?
 What are the challenges of trying to pass on faith to another

generation?
 In what ways does the culture you live in impact your family
life for good, and in what ways does it impact it for evil?
143
i n s i d e
Story
Powerhouse for God
An elderly man stopped in Delsie Knicely’s family-owned store in rural
West Virginia with a request.
“I’d like to see you in church this Sabbath,” he said.
Knicely didn’t want to go. She had been raised in the Seventh-day
Adventist Church and had attended Adventist schools. But she had left
the church as an adult, gotten married, and opened a store selling farm
produce, groceries, and chain saws.
Still, she didn’t want to flatly reject the man, Kester Erskine, whom she
had known since childhood. Erskine used to drive to her parents’ farm
every Sabbath and pack her and her 11 brothers and sisters into his car,
including in the trunk, and take them to church.
Now Erskine was in the store waiting for an answer to his invitation.
“I don’t have proper clothes,” Knicely said.
Erskine returned the next week, and Knicely offered another excuse.
“OK, I’ll go if I’m not sick,” she said.
That Friday, she was hospitalized with a serious blood clot. That scared
her, and she resolved not to use health as an excuse to skip church.
Two weeks after the hospital stay, Erskine stopped by the store with
a book, National Sunday Law, about how the Sabbath was changed to
Sunday.
Knicely read the 94-page book by Adventist pastor A. Jan Marcussen
that afternoon, marking the pages as she went along. She read the book
again that evening and a third time the next day. She thought, I went to
Adventist church school and academy, and I know all this. Why haven’t I
been in church?
“I couldn’t think of a good reason,” Knicely told Adventist Mission.
“So, I went to church and haven’t missed a Sabbath since then.”
Today, Knicely, a spry 63-year-old with a ready smile, is a powerhouse
for God. She has led many evangelistic meetings, including a series during
a statewide evangelistic campaign funded by a 2015 Thirteenth Sabbath
Offering. She also has graded thousands of Bible correspondence stud-
ies, and many people have been baptized
through her influence.
Knicely said God must have a sense of
humor. Ever since she claimed not to have
anything to wear to church, her wardrobe
has been full.
“The Lord has seen fit that I have had
plenty of decent clothes since that time,”
she said.
teachers comments
Part I: Overview
Culture can be friend or foe as it engages the Christian faith. Families that
want to stay true to the radical path of Christian discipleship will often
be faced with cultural pressure to compromise standards of holiness.
However, needless rejection of one’s current cultural norms in the name
of religion is a sign, not of sanctification, but of misguided zeal that can
bring reproach on our Christian witness. Carefully discerning between
which cultural norms are compatible with Christianity and which are not
can be a source of intense disagreement among believers (e.g., the buildup
to the Jerusalem Council in Acts 15). A listening ear, a humble attitude,
and sensitivity to the Spirit’s direction are all needed to stay biblically
faithful and culturally sensitive.
As Christian families navigate the level of cultural accommodation
that they believe is appropriate, they can be sure there is no room within
authentic Christianity for devaluing any human, for all have been made in
His image (Gen. 1:26, 27; 9:6). If a culture disparages any group based on
these criteria—gender, ethnicity, social class, mental or physical impair-
ments, age, etc.—then there is a justifiable and grand opportunity to make
a clean break with that culture and to reveal by one’s actions a God who
shows “no partiality” (Rom. 2:11, ESV; Acts 10:34, ESV; Gal. 2:6, ESV).
The families in the Bible provide a bevy of mistakes for us to learn
from and to avoid. These families were inspired, at least partially, by the
cultures in which they lived. From the Abram/Hagar blunder (Genesis
16) to the presence of idols in Jacob’s household (Genesis 35), culture
has always exerted its pressure on God’s people. As you teach this week’s
Sabbath School lesson, convey the point that those unaware of the cultural
influences in their lives may be unreflectively conforming to them.
Part II: Commentary

Culture: It’s Everywhere
The problem with culture is that it is a driving force in our lives that
escapes rigorous reflection. In the West, when a friend asks, “Do you want
to get a cup of coffee before work?” few will express surprise when asked,
because in the West coffee is a cultural beverage. Try instead asking a
coworker, “Hey, would you like to grab some kiwis and applesauce after
work?” and watch them smile suspiciously and ask, “Are you serious?”
Why the surprise, though? Kiwis and applesauce are just as arbitrary as
145
teachers comments
coffee. But even though a much healthier choice, kiwis and applesauce
have not taken their place among the food folkways of broader Western
culture, so one will appear as an oddball for suggesting it.
The above is a relatively benign example. Bring up at the next board
meeting whether churches should use older hymns or more contemporary
praise songs, and brace yourself for a cultural clash. Things get even more
complicated when music from other cultures migrates into vastly different
areas, creating cross-cultural tensions. All this mixing and blending goes
to show that culture is exerting a ubiquitous influence. Sometimes people
will think they are being theologically astute in criticizing or affirming a
church practice when in reality they are being compelled by the dominant
culture or subculture they are a part of. To be aware of this dynamic is
helpful across the church spectrum of views. Conservatives need to be
wary that they are not “making holy” the nonessential features of their
belief and practice in an effort to protect themselves from the dominant
culture. Liberals should be wary of “dispensing with the holy” in an
attempt to maximally accommodate the dominant culture.
Culture: Examples
Because the Seventh-day Adventist Church is spread around the globe,

cultural influences on the church will be numerous and variegated.
Families in the worldwide church will need to take stock of their own
cultural environment and ask themselves how they can best resist, or take
advantage of, their culture for the furthering of the kingdom of God. The
lesson cites some examples of how culture influenced families in the
Bible. Though the examples are all negative, it is instructive to consider
how God accomplished His will, despite the cultural obstacles.
Abram, Sarai, and Hagar. The story is well known of how Abram and
Sarai, desperate to have a natural-born heir, used Hagar the servant girl as
a solution to Sarai’s infertility (Gen. 16:2). Though replicating their exact
“solution” in today’s world would be shunned in most instances, surrogacy
is a well-known option for would-be parents today. The cultural practice
of surrogacy has remained, though the method has changed through medi-
cal intervention. The cultural continuity, though, helps us identify better
with the story and Sarai’s predicament.
God’s promise to Abram was that he would have a natural-born heir (as
opposed to Eliezer [Gen. 15:4]). A wife offering another woman to bear
children in her behalf was culturally accepted in the ancient Near East and
therefore was an ever-present option. This combination led Abram and
Sarai to attempt a cultural shortcut to bring about God’s promise. Instead,
this practice, though culturally accepted, interfered with God’s plan and
provided unnecessary suffering and hardship for all involved. God eventu-
ally accomplished His will (despite Abram and Sarai’s blunder) with the
birth of Isaac, and, in addition, took care of the ousted Hagar and Ishmael.
146
146
teachers comments
It appears from the narrative that neither Sarai nor Abram sought counsel
from God concerning their plan to bring about His promise; and they paid
for it for years (maybe a lifetime) afterward.
A principle can be derived from this story: when attempting to coop-
erate with God’s plans, utilizing practices just because they are cultur-
ally permissible may do more harm than good. Prayerful consideration
and a dose of realism could have averted the entire fiasco. (Peaceful
polygamous marriages in Scripture are rare. This point is telling if one
believes that the Scriptures accurately reflect the history and culture of
the times.)
Centuries later, Israel’s obstinate insistence on having a king to rule over
it would serve as an example of cultural accommodation with disastrous
consequences for the destiny of the entire nation. And the people said,
“ ‘Now appoint for us a king to judge us like all the nations’ ” (1 Sam. 8:5,
ESV). God knew this choice was an outright rejection of Himself as their
king (1 Sam. 8:7), with no better reason offered than to be “like every-
one else.” This desire for a king is cultural accommodation at its worst.
Anyone who has read the account of Israel’s and Judah’s kings knows that
for the most part, their desire for a king resulted in disaster. But there are
two important points worth noting: (1) God allowed them to make this
cultural accommodation, even choosing their first king for them; (2) God
worked within the framework of Israel’s sinful decision, even to the point
of rooting Messianic prophecies into the monarchy. What a God! Setting
a human king over Israel was not God’s perfect will. The entire history of
God’s people might have been vastly different if they would have chosen
to remain, possibly, the single nation on the planet without a visible human
leader. But God is able to initiate plan B or C or Q, regardless of our
choices. He does not easily give up on His people.
When the church or its families make sinful cultural accommodations,
even ones that have long-lasting effects, it seems God is big enough to
work around, and through, our misguided decisions. Nor does He hold us
under a state of continual rejection or wrath. The natural consequences
of our wrongheaded decisions can sometimes be punishment enough, as
with Israel’s monarchy (i.e., the king will take your land, livestock, crops,
and children [1 Sam. 8:9–19]). It would be detrimental to use this angle
of God’s mercy as liberty simply to go with the cultural flow. God’s kind-
ness and patience in these things is meant to “lead . . . to repentance,” not
further sin (Rom. 2:4, 5, ESV). God’s people often trip over themselves in
navigating how to live out their faith in their respective cultures. Yet, God
knows exactly how to intersect His kingdom perfectly into every cultural
context. As we cooperate with Him, He not only guides us through His
Word and Spirit but can make up for our mistakes, as well.
147
teachers comments
Culture: A Threat
Choosing which cultural trends to mention that are antagonistic to the gospel
is difficult because of the varied cultural audience these lessons are reaching.
Choosing one trend will neglect ten. However, Western secularization is a
phenomenon that is spreading its influence beyond its borders. The following
quote by J. Gresham Machen was given at the opening of the 101st session
of Princeton Theological Seminary. It addresses a cultural secularization that
would demote the Christian message to that of a fairy tale. It is broad enough
in its scope, though, to apply to any cultural milieu toxic to Christianity. It
was spoken in 1912:
“False ideas are the greatest obstacles to the reception of the gospel. We
may preach with all the fervor of a reformer and yet succeed only in win-
ning a straggler here and there, if we permit the whole collective thought of
the nation or of the world to be controlled by ideas which, by the resistless
force of logic, prevent Christianity from being regarded as anything more
than a harmless delusion. Under such circumstances, what God desires us
to do is to destroy the obstacle at its root.”—“Christianity and Culture,” The
Princeton Theological Review, vol. 11, no. 1 (1913), p. 7.

Here are some exercises and thought experiments that can get the Sabbath
School class reflecting on culture, Christianity, and families.
1. “Culture relativism” is a helpful model in learning to understand

different cultures from within their own perspectives. However,
it becomes problematic if all cultural practices are considered
immune from moral judgments. How could someone respond that a
moral judgment on a cultural practice has some objective validity?
148
teachers comments
2. What are the cultural trends right now in your community that
are working against the gospel? Are there any working for it? If
so, what are they?
3. Think of Jesus’ parables describing the “kingdom of God” and

use them as a benchmark for the ideal culture. How would you
recast your own culture to look more like the heavenly one?
4. Ask the class about practices among our own church members
that concern them or challenge their faith. Write these practices
on a white/chalkboard. Now ask whether there are clear biblical
injunctions against anything on the list. If there are not, float the
idea that these practices may be cultural rather than biblical.
149
What Have They Seen in Your

House?
Sabbath Afternoon
Read for This Week’s Study: Isaiah 38; 39; 1 Cor. 7:12–15;
1 Pet. 3:1, 2; Heb. 6:12; 13:7; 3 John 11; Isa. 58:6, 7, 10, 12.
Memory Text: “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priest-

hood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may pro-
claim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His
marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9, NKJV).
P
erhaps we have reached a stage when, thanks be to the Lord, our
lives are (at least for now) going well: family is fine, work is fine,
health and finances are, too. Or maybe not? Maybe your home,
for now, is in pain, turmoil? Either way, when someone comes to visit
your home, like emissaries from Babylon who visited King Hezekiah,
what answer could be given to the question that the prophet Isaiah later
asked the king: “ ‘What have they seen in your house?’ ” (Isa. 39:4,
NKJV).
What have people seen in your house? What have heavenly angels
seen? What kind of spirit permeates our residences? Can one “smell”
the scent of prayer? Is there kindness, generosity, love, or tension,
anger, resentfulness, bitterness, and discord? Will someone who’s there
walk away thinking Jesus is in this home?
These are important questions for all of us to ask ourselves regard-
ing the kind of home that we have created. This week we will look at
some of the issues that can make for a wonderful home life, despite the
inevitable tensions and struggles that homes today face.
150
S unday June 16
Learning From a King’s Mistake

Read the account of Hezekiah’s healing and the visit of the Babylonian
ambassadors. 2 Chron. 32:25, 31; Isaiah 38; 39.
Scripture points out that the messengers were interested in the miracu-
lous recovery of King Hezekiah. However, Hezekiah seems to have been
silent about his healing experience. He didn’t emphasize the things that
would have opened the hearts of these inquiring ambassadors to the
knowledge of the true God. The contrast between his gratitude for being
healed in chapter 38 and his silence about it in chapter 39 is striking.
“God left him to test him.” This state visit was a most significant occa-
sion; yet, there is no record of Hezekiah seeking special guidance about it
in prayer from prophets or from priests. Nor did God intervene. Alone, out
of the public eye, with no consultation with spiritual advisers, Hezekiah
apparently let the work of God in his life and in the life of his nation recede
from his mind. The intent of the historian in 2 Chronicles 32:31 may have
been to show how easily God’s blessing can be taken for granted and how
prone the recipients of His mercy are to becoming self-sufficient.
Below are some lessons about faithfulness in home life that can be
gleaned from the experience of Hezekiah. What others can you
think of?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Every visit to the homes of Christians is an opportunity for people to
meet followers of Christ.
Few visitors are likely to open conversation about spiritual things.
Christians must find ways that are sensitive and appropriate to the occa-
sion to share the good news.
Christians are not called to show off their material prosperity or
accomplishments, though they may recognize these as blessings from
God. They are called to “declare the praises of him who called you
out of darkness into his wonderful light” (1 Pet. 2:9, NIV), or, to use
Hezekiah’s experience as a symbol, to declare that they were dying, but
Christ has healed them: they were dead in sin, and Christ resurrected
them and seated them in heavenly places (Eph. 2:4–6).
In what ways are you able to use your home to witness to others?
How could you share your faith in Christ more forthrightly with
visitors to your home?
151
M onday June 17
Family First
The most natural first recipients of our gospel-sharing endeavors are
the people in our households. There is no more important mission field
than this.
What conclusions can be drawn from John 1:40–42 about sharing

faith at home? See also Deut. 6:6, 7; Ruth 1:14–18.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
An enthusiastic report. Andrew went beyond mere reporting; he arranged
for his brother, Simon, to meet Jesus. An enthusiastic report about Jesus and
an introduction to Him as a person—what a simple formula for sharing the
gospel with relatives in our homes! After the introduction Andrew stepped
back. From then on, Jesus and Peter had a relationship of their own.
Helping children to a place of faith. Children in a home can often be
overlooked as fitting recipients of gospel-sharing efforts. Parents mis-
takenly assume children will simply absorb family spirituality. This must
not be taken for granted. While children and young people learn from the
modeling they observe, it also is true that these younger members of the
Lord’s family need individual attention and opportunity to be personally
introduced to Him. Deuteronomy 6 is insistent on this point: Attention must
be given to the most effective kind of religious education. Regular spiritual
habits of personal and family worship are to be encouraged in the home.
Time and earnest efforts must be put forth on behalf of children and youth.
What can we learn from the evangelistic efforts of Naomi? Ruth 1:8–22.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Ruth saw Naomi at the lowest of moments: when she tried to push
her daughter-in-law away and when, angry and depressed, she lashed
out against God as she recounted her losses (Ruth 1:15, 20, 21). No
more eloquent testimony than Ruth’s can be given to show that youth
can meet and make a commitment to a perfect God, even when intro-
duced to Him by an imperfect parent.
How does the notion of home as the most important mission field
affect your attitude toward the people who live with you? Work
together as a family to prepare a list of specific efforts your family
can make to lead unsaved relatives to Christ.
152
T uesday June 18
Peace That Wins

What counsel does the New Testament have for marriages divided by
religion? 1 Cor. 7:12–15; 1 Pet. 3:1, 2.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
The blessing of being a Christian partner. In 1 Corinthians Paul

responds to converts’ concerns that staying married to an unbelieving
spouse might be offensive to God or bring defilement upon them-
selves and their children. Not so, says Paul. The sacred state of mar-
riage and its intimacies are to continue after a partner’s conversion.
The presence of one Christian partner “sanctifies” the other partner
and the couple’s children. The word sanctifies should be understood
in the sense that unbelieving spouses come into contact with the
blessings of grace through living with their Christian partners.
Heartrending as it is, the unbelieving partner may decide to abandon
the marriage. Though consequences will be serious, the merciful word of
our God—who always upholds human freedom of choice—is “let him do
so.” The believer “is not bound in such circumstances” (1 Cor. 7:15, NIV).
Called to live in peace. The clear preference of the Word of God is
that despite the challenges of a spiritually divided home, a way might
be found for the peace of Christ to reign there. The hope is to keep
the marriage intact, to give evidence of the triumph of the gospel in
the midst of difficulty, and to promote the comfort of the partner with
whom the believer is one flesh, though he or she be unbelieving.
What might be the limitations of a spouse’s responsibility toward

a nonbelieving partner?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Loving-kindness, unwavering fidelity, humble service, and winsome
witness on the part of the believer create the greatest likelihood of win-
ning the non-Christian spouse. Submission in a Christian marriage arises
out of reverence for Christ (compare Eph. 5:21). When a spouse relates
with Christian submission to an unbelieving partner, the first allegiance
is always to Christ. Faithfulness to the claims of God on one’s life does
not require a spouse to suffer abuse at the hands of a violent partner.
Is someone in your church struggling with an unbelieving spouse?

If so, in what practical ways could you possibly help?
153
W ednesday June 19
Family Life Is for Sharing

In the following verses, trace the New Testament uses of the words “fol-
low” (KJV) or “imitate” (NIV). What do they tell us about the process
of becoming a Christian and growing as a Christian? What do you
think they suggest about the relationship between modeling and wit-
nessing? 1 Cor. 4:16, Eph. 5:1, 1 Thess. 1:6, Heb. 6:12, 13:7, 3 John 11.
___________________________________________________
The New Testament emphasis on imitation acknowledges the impor-
tant role of modeling in the learning process. People tend to become
like whom or what they watch. This principle applies to relationships
generally and especially in the home, where imitation is common.
There children imitate their parents and siblings; married partners
often imitate one another. This concept provides an important clue to
how couples and families can bear Christian witness to other couples
and families.
The power of social influence. We witness from our homes when we
provide opportunities for others to observe us and to share in our home
experience in some way. Many simply have no good example of mar-
riage or family relationships to follow. In our homes they may see how
the spirit of Jesus makes a difference. “Social influence,” wrote Ellen
White, “is a wonderful power. We can use it if we will as a means of
helping those about us.”—The Ministry of Healing, p. 354.
As married couples invite other couples for meals, fellowship, or
Bible study, or when they attend a marital growth program together, the
visitors see a model. The display of mutuality, affirmation, communica-
tion, conflict resolution, and accommodation of differences testifies of
family life in Christ.
In this context, however, of what must we always be careful? Jer. 17:9,

John 2:25, Rom. 3:23.
___________________________________________________
Follow believers who follow Christ. All human examples are flawed;
however, the witness of the Christian home is not about modeling
absolute perfection. The New Testament notion of imitation is a call
for individuals to follow believers who follow Christ. The idea is that
individuals will grasp Christian faith as they see it demonstrated in the
lives of others who are as human and fallible as they are.
What could you do to make your home a better model for Chris
tian witnessing?
154
T hursday June 20
Centers of Contagious Friendliness

Compare biblical references on hospitality with actual incidents in
the homes of several Bible families listed below. Isa. 58:6, 7, 10–12;
Rom. 12:13; 1 Pet. 4:9. Note the attributes of hospitality that are
demonstrated.
Abraham and Sarah (Gen. 18:1–8)
Rebekah and her family (Gen. 24:15–20, 31–33)
Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1–9)
Hospitality meets another person’s basic needs for rest, food, and fel-
lowship. It is a tangible expression of self-giving love. Jesus attached
theological significance to hospitality when He taught that feeding
the hungry and giving drink to the thirsty were acts of service done to
Him (Matt. 25:34–40). Using one’s home for ministry may range from
simply inviting neighbors to a meal to the radical hospitality of lend-
ing a room to an abuse victim. It may involve simple friendliness, an
opportunity to offer prayer with someone, or the conducting of Bible
studies. True hospitality springs from the hearts of those who have
been touched by God’s love and want to express their love in words
and actions.
Families sometimes complain that they lack the facilities, the time,
and/or the energy to offer hospitality. Others feel awkward, unskilled,
and unsure about reaching beyond what is familiar in order to associate
with unbelievers. Some wish to avoid the complications to their lives
that may arise from becoming involved with others. Many contempo-
rary families confuse hospitality and entertaining.
In what ways does your home life reflect your own spiritual con-
dition?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
155
F riday June 21
Further Thought: Ellen G. White, “A Powerful Christian Witness,”

pp. 35–39; “Attitude Toward an Unbelieving Companion,” pp. 348–352,
in The Adventist Home; “Ministry of the Home,” pp. 349–355, in The
Ministry of Healing; “The Ambassadors From Babylon,” pp. 340–348,
in Prophets and Kings.
The power of the home in evangelism. “Far more powerful than any
sermon that can be preached is the influence of a true home upon
human hearts and lives. . . .
“Our sphere of influence may seem narrow, our ability small, our
opportunities few, our acquirements limited; yet wonderful possi-
bilities are ours through a faithful use of the opportunities of our own
homes.”—Ellen G. White, The Ministry of Healing, pp. 352, 355.
 Ask anyone in class if it were the influence of someone’s home
that helped them make a decision for Christ. Discuss just what it
was that made such an impression. What can the class learn from
that experience?
 In what practical ways can you as a class minister to a family

with an unbelieving spouse?
 As a class, talk about some of the pressures in the home that

work against faith. Write up a list of some of these things; then
across from them, write down possible solutions.
 The private lives of Christians are a means of witness to chil-

dren, unbelieving spouses, other relatives, and visitors. While faith
sharing at home may not always be as complete as one would
like or result in the conversion of relatives and visitors, imperfect
family members seek to point the way to a perfect Savior. Through
generous hospitality expressed in the Savior’s name, they bring
within the realm of grace all whose lives they touch. Think about
the influence of your home on those who come to visit. What could
you do to make it a better witness of faith for all who step within
your doors?
156
i n s i d e
Story
Praising God With HIV
Maria Samo has HIV and is praising God.
Samo was born into a Seventh-day Adventist family in the village of
Nicuadala, Mozambique, and she got baptized at the age of seven. Her
village had no high school, so she moved to Quilimane, a 30-minute drive
to the south, to continue her studies. There she made new friends who
introduced her to alcohol and tobacco.
Samo’s parents didn’t know that she smoked and drank until after she
got married. Her father came to visit one day and walked in as Samo
was smoking. He didn’t say a word, but guilt washed over Samo, and she
resolved never to smoke or drink again.
Quitting smoking proved easy, but drinking was much more difficult for
Samo. She prayed for help. God answered in an unusual way, she said. She
began to suffer severe panic attacks.
Fearing that she would die, Samo’s husband took her to South Africa for
medical treatment. A South African physician warned that she would die
in three months if she didn’t give up drinking.
Samo quit with the help of a 45-day rehab program and, returning to
Mozambique, reconsecrated her life to Jesus.
Then her husband died. Six years later, she received the shocking news
that he had been infected with HIV—and passed on the virus to her.
“From that time,” she said with a smile, “I have been praising the Lord.”
The reason is because she feels healthier than at any other time in her life.
“My health is better than it was before I contracted the virus, and my
conscience is clear,” she said.
Today, Samo, a grandmother of four, works as a trader, buying gold
and precious stones in various villages and selling them in Nampula,
Mozambique’s third-largest city. But her passion is encouraging others
with HIV.
“Many people lose hope when they learn that they are infected,” she
said. “They don’t have anyone to talk to, and they die.”
She said Adventists should have a special burden to reach out to those
with HIV, praying with them and encour-
aging them.
“I share the hope that I have in Jesus
and His soon coming,” she said.
Part of the first quarter 2019 Thirteenth Sabbath
Offering went to open an orphanage for children
who have lost their parents to HIV and AIDS in
Nampula. Thank you for your mission offering.
teachers comments
Part I: Overview
We’ve all heard of that illusive “silent witness” that we as Christians are
supposed to be exuding everywhere we go. It causes people to line up and
ask us, “What do you have that is different? I want some of that.” Then
we tell them of Jesus, and conversions are soon to follow. No doubt, tes-
timonies confirm that this phenomenon happens, but for the most part, if
we are honest, this scenario is a kind of Christian urban legend that has
left many Adventists waiting years for such encounters. In the meantime,
guilt creeps in as one wonders why his or her “silent witness” is not loud
enough to gain attention.
There is one place, though, where the effectiveness of the “silent wit-
ness” appears to have the greatest potential at drawing the world to press
its nose against the window in curious admiration—that place is the
Christian family. A Christian family that has so completely broken with
the current model of two stressed-out, overworked parents, with their
neglected, underdisciplined, overstimulated children, will stand out like a
neon sign in the night. Parents in harmony with each other, children who
cheerfully obey, a light spirit of happiness and contentment—all made
possible by God’s principles and presence—has an influence in today’s
world that is difficult to match.
Because families are relational units, Christ can shine through them in
ways that create a unique witness. The lesson recognizes this potential and
upholds the primacy of focusing on the family as the first mission field.
It looks at concepts of modeling and imitation as methods of influencing
others within and without the family. Finally, it considers hospitality as an
influential interface between the Christian family and the world.
Part II: Commentary

Scripture
“And God said to them [the man and woman], ‘Be fruitful and multiply
and fill the earth and subdue it’ ” (ESV). Quick quiz: Was the above verse
spoken before the Fall or after? The text is Genesis 1:28; so, it was spoken
before the Fall. The significance of the timing is that God’s divine idea of
family was planted in Eden. Though Eden is no longer home, when we
participate in family we are connecting with an Edenic institution that
has a way of calling us back to that Paradise. The family still retains the
158
teachers comments
echoes of Eden’s glory. These echoes reverberate with God’s kingdom

and are harbingers of a new Eden more glorious than the first (Rev. 21:1,
22:2). This power is one reason godly families can have an almost myste-
rious draw on unbelievers. It may be the only glimpse of heaven they’ve
seen.
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created
him; male and female he created them” (Gen. 1:27, ESV). Together the
man and woman, bonded in family, can display the relational dimensions
of what God looks like. Thus, it becomes imperative that families make
their own family a priority. Families bear the image of God. This poten-
tial invests them with sacred and incalculable value. There is no church
program or outside responsibility that should interfere with the personal
investment it takes to maintain a healthy and happy family. How many
accounts must be shared from adults who gave all their time to church
work only to lose to the world their own children, who testify of being
neglected?
But someone might respond that family sacrifices are necessary for
evangelism and the saving of souls. To implode that illusion forever, take
note of the following account. Lee Venden tells of a conversation he had
several years ago with a church leader who was, at the time, assistant to
the president of the North American Division of Seventh-day Adventists.
“We were talking about an extensive NAD survey taken in North
America, the results of which left one feeling as though they had the wind
knocked out of them. Probably the most startling revelation was that if,
since the inception of the church, the ONLY growth in NAD membership
had been biological, and if we had simply retained 80 percent of our own
youth, the membership in North America at the time of that conversation
would have exceeded 8 million” (excerpted from personal email corre-
spondence with Lee Venden). Given that the current NAD membership is
1.24 million as of 2017, you can see how staggering this statistic is. That
would equate to a more than 600 percent increase in NAD membership
today.
In summary, given that love is both a core definition of God (1 John
4:8) and a relational term, it is understandable why humans in relationship
have an advantage in displaying the image of God. A family originated
before sin therefore could serve as a microcosm of Paradise past. In addi-
tion, when God’s intentions are made a priority in family life, it can be a
soul-saving influence in this world. Family life is incalculably valuable in
these respects. But how can the world come in contact with these mini
glimpses of heaven on earth? Answer: hospitality.
Hospitality
What is hospitality? Dictionaries will say it is the friendly reception of
guests or strangers. Providing guests with food, rest, and fellowship is
159 159
teachers comments
certainly a virtue practiced across the board and should be no less so in

Christian populations. However, for Christians, there is an ever-abiding
concern for people’s souls, as well as for their physical needs. This
concern will add nuance to the meaning and practice of hospitality in a
Christian context.
First, the question arises: “Which guests or strangers are to receive a
friendly reception?” This query sounds reminiscent of the question asked
of Jesus: “ ‘Who is my neighbor?’ ” (Luke 10:29, NKJV). It is helpful to
make the connection between the two because Jesus’ answer in the par-
able of the good Samaritan is an appropriate, though hard-to-swallow,
twist on hospitality. The twist is that Jesus turns the question on its head.
He prefers to morph the question from “What kind of person should you
receive?” to “What kind of person are you going to be?” Along ministry
lines and the above starting point that Jesus provides, Thursday of this
week’s lesson says, “Using one’s home for ministry may range from
simply inviting neighbors to a meal to the radical hospitality of lending a
room to an abuse victim.”
Zacchaeus is a case in point—a white-collar thief who receives the
unexpected honor of Jesus (the famous prophet and rabbi) coming to his
house for lunch (Luke 19:5). And what follows? Transformation, restora-
tion, and “salvation” (Luke 19:8, 9)—no sermon, no Bible study, only a
gesture of hospitality. (Note: This example is a kind of reverse hospitality,
because Jesus invited Himself to Zacchaeus’s house; but the principle
holds because Jesus showed favor to a man whom society deemed a social
outcast.)
When hospitality becomes an expression of God’s grace to those who
are outcasts, it has been reconstructed from standard cultural practice
(i.e., “even the Gentiles do the same” [see Matt. 5:47, ESV]) to a moment
with potential eternal significance. As the title of this week’s lesson asks:
“What have they seen in your house?” Well, nothing, if we haven’t invited
anyone. But if we have, the invitation itself can be like God’s gracious call
to all, regardless of their past or present condition. And if they see within
the home a vibrant, otherworldly love shared between the family in the
name of Christ, it may be enough to create in them an insatiable appetite
for a new life and a new world.

Many societies seem to invest high importance on education, career,
upward mobility, rank, wealth, and perhaps even community service.
Cultivating healthy families is rarely near the top of the priority list.
160
teachers comments
Sacrificing any of the top priorities for the sake of better quality time
with family is almost unheard-of. As a result, the house may look good on
the outside, but don’t peer too closely inside, because the family may be
in shambles. This state is to be avoided. The eternal lives of children and
spouses are at stake, not to mention the surrounding community members
who are watching and talking about the family in view. Here are some ques-
tions that can start the discussion of making family a priority for the sake
of God’s kingdom (and everyone’s happiness).
1. At the end of Thursday in lesson 2, the profound question was

asked, “How many people, at the end of their lives, wished they had
spent more time in the office and less time with their family?” What
can be done right now to avoid this circumstance from becoming
the unfortunate testimony (office versus family) of your retirement
years?
2. Radical hospitality can involve safety concerns for the family. What
kind of preparations could be made in such a situation?
161
teachers comments
3. Hospitality can be expressed by the local church, as well as by the

home. How might a church become known in its community for
hospitality?
162
Turning Hearts in the End

Time
Sabbath Afternoon
Read for This Week’s Study: Mal. 4:5, 6; Matt. 11:14, 15;
17:10; 1 Kings 16:29–17:24; 1 Kings 18:20–45; Matt. 3:2.
Memory Text: “ ‘Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet

before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. And
he will turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart
of the children to their fathers; lest I come and smite the earth with
a curse’ ” (Malachi 4:5, 6, NKJV).
O
ur lives are lived in stages. Sometimes those stages are going
well; sometimes not. Sometimes families are intact and strong;
sometimes they are fragile or even shattered.
Whatever the phase, whatever the stage, whatever the condition of
ourselves or our family at the moment, we can and must live in the
light of God’s promises, clinging to them with all our heart and soul and
might because, in the end, they are our only hope. But what a great hope
they are. The Word of God exudes promises, promises that, whatever
stage our life or our family is in, we can claim for ourselves, our loved
ones, our family, and our church.
In this, the final week of the quarter, we are going to look at some
Bible stories, promises, and experiences from a variety of contexts. As
we do, we will seek to draw lessons for ourselves today, whatever our
context happens to be. For, most likely, whoever you are, wherever you
are, whatever the phase of your life, you have struggles, fears, worries.
Fortunately, we worship a God who not only knows what we face but
who is, we can be sure, ahead of them all, as well.
163
S unday June 23
The Prophecy of Turned Hearts

Compare the prediction of the coming of Elijah with New Testament
references to this event. Mal. 4:5, 6; Matt. 11:14, 15; 17:10; Mark
6:15; Luke 1:17.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
In the days of Malachi, God’s appeal to the nation, “ ‘Return to Me,
and I will return to you,’ ” met with the arrogant response, “ ‘ “In what
way shall we return?” ’ ” (Mal. 3:7, NKJV). The frustrated prophet
announced that one further opportunity for revival would be given.
Recalling the heart-turning reform begun by Elijah (1 Kings 18:37),
Malachi predicted his coming again to “ ‘turn the hearts of the fathers
to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers’ ” (Mal.
4:6, NKJV).
A Jewish tradition developed that Elijah would appear personally as
the herald of the Messiah (compare Matt. 17:10, Mark 6:15). However,
the New Testament presents John the Baptist as a fulfillment of the
prophecy (Matt. 11:14, 15; Luke 1:17).
What do you think the phrase “turn the hearts” means?

_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Several applications are possible for this phrase: It refers to the rec-
onciliation of the people of Israel with the Lord. God as Father (Isa.
63:16) has turned from His wrath toward His children (Mic. 7:18, 19)
and calls them to return to Him (Isa. 44:22, Mal. 3:7). It refers to the
reconnecting of later generations with their faithful ancestors through
covenant renewal. The prophetic call for God’s people to follow the
faith of the patriarchs was given repeatedly in the Old Testament.
Whether the land continued as a blessed dwelling place was directly
related to covenant faithfulness (Deut. 4:29–31). It refers to the resto-
ration and renewal of family relationships. Parent-child relationships
are a practical expression of covenant faithfulness with God. Here, too,
fulfillment of responsibilities to parents and children are interwoven
with continued inheritance of the land and God’s blessing (Prov. 2:21).
What is the connection between a restored relationship with God

and restored relationships in our families? Why must one precede
the other?
164
M onday June 24
Family Reunion
The introduction of Baal worship into Israel by Jezebel, the Sidonian
wife of King Ahab, hastened the nation’s downward moral slide. The
teachings of God that uplifted marriage, family, and sexuality were
overshadowed by such practices as incest, prostitution, and other sexual
perversions. Into this arena of conflict over worship stepped Elijah,
whose very name, “Jehovah is my God,” rebuked Baal.
What experience of Elijah associated him with overturning heathen

beliefs and bringing new life to families? 1 Kings 16:29–17:24;
compare Luke 4:25, 26.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Elijah was a marked man after announcing the curse of drought upon
the land. God sheltered him in an unlikely place—at a poor widow’s
dwelling in Zarephath of Sidon, near Jezebel’s hometown. Elijah greeted
the widow with a grim test: to use her last bits of kindling, oil, and flour
to feed him and to trust God for her future. Her faith became legendary.
Jesus Himself would later commend her (Luke 4:26). As her oil and meal
stretched out over many days, the woman came to understand more about
Jehovah. Then, tragically, her only son fell sick and died. In expressing
her grief to Elijah, she reflected the familiar religion around her, the per-
verted beliefs that now engulfed Israel, in which one’s sin could require
child sacrifice (1 Kings 17:18; compare Jer. 19:5, Mic. 6:7).
What effect did the reunion with her son have upon the Phoenician
widow’s spiritual experience? 1 Kings 17:24. What can we learn
from her comments?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
The mother’s response reveals the effect of the Elijah message. Faith
in God and His Word arises in the heart as, by His power, life is restored
and the family is reunited. Many today may give assent as doctrines
are preached but are lukewarm in their spiritual experience. However,
when the truths of God’s Word are experienced personally and revival
and restoration occur in home relationships, conviction comes ever so
much more powerfully upon the heart.
What are some family reunions that you are still waiting for?
What promises of God are you clinging to that give you hope of
that reunion?
165
T uesday June 25
Turning Hearts at the Altar

Read 1 Kings 18:20–45. Write out on the lines below what, essentially,
this whole episode is about. Though the context is totally different,
how can the principles seen in this story apply to family life?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
On Mount Carmel, Elijah longed for covenant renewal on the part of
his nation, a turning back to the faith of their fathers that would bring
healing to their lives, their homes, and their land.
The hour of the evening sacrifice. After the heathen priests’ failure
with their sacrifice, Elijah took his turn. He was deliberate. The time of
day drew attention to God’s redemptive plan revealed in the sanctuary
service (compare Exod. 29:41). The invitation “ ‘Come near to me’ ”
(1 Kings 18:30, NKJV) reminds us of the Savior welcoming sinners
(compare Matt. 11:28). Parents who are pained at the waywardness of a
child can be assured that God loves him or her as truly as He loved the
Israelites. God works unceasingly to draw wayward ones to Him.
Elijah’s focus on Jehovah’s altar finds its equivalent in our time when
Jesus and His saving grace are uplifted in families. Family worship is
an opportunity to talk to Him in prayer, to speak of Him to one another,
to receive anew His free gift of salvation, and to give our hearts time to
reflect on His teachings.
The response Elijah requested would signal that God had taken
them back to Himself. First Kings 18:37 says that “ ‘this people may
know . . . You have turned their hearts back to You again’ ” (NKJV).
We cannot turn our hearts to God; we can respond only to His grace,
and that He freely gives.
The all-consuming fire fell, not upon the guilty but upon the sac-
rifice, pointing forward to Jesus, who was made “sin for us, that we
might become the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Cor. 5:21, NKJV).
Confession and praise burst from the people’s lips. Because they did
not respond to God’s call, the false priests were executed. Then refresh-
ing rains ended the curse upon the land.
In what condition is your home “altar”? In what specific ways

can you “rebuild the altar” in your home, if indeed it needs some
rebuilding?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
166
W ednesday June 26
Turning Hearts at the Jordan

Alongside Gabriel’s prediction (Luke 1:17) and Jesus’ confirmation
of him as the predicted Elijah (Matt. 11:14; 17:12, 13), the Gospel
writers affirm that John the Baptist was the “messenger” who would
prepare the way of the Lord (Matt. 11:10, Mark 1:2, Luke 7:27; com-
pare Mal. 3:1).
Note the main aspects of John’s message. In what way was his message
one of “heart turning”? Matt. 3:2, 8; 14:4; Mark 1:4; Luke 3:3, 8, 9,
11, 13, 14.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Like a farmer who plows hard ground to prepare it to receive seed,
John denounced sin and urged sinners to repent. Human nature is such
that, without self-examination, without an awareness of one’s true con-
dition, no need is felt for something better. His message turned people
toward the holiness of God’s requirements and their need of His perfect
righteousness. Genuine repentance is always marked by humility and
looking to God for help to change one’s behavior. By exposing the shal-
low, self-centered hypocrisy of those who claimed Abraham as their
father, he sought to open the deeper meaning of the faith of their fathers.
How did the message of John the Baptist prepare the way for Jesus?
John 1:35–37, 3:27–30.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
John had been shown that Jesus was the Lamb of God. When he
introduced Jesus this way (John 1:29, 36), he literally turned people
to the Lord. Andrew and another of John’s disciples, John, the Gospel
writer who wrote the account of that day, left the Baptist’s side and
became Jesus’ disciples. Not only does the Elijah message point to the
need for repentance; it identifies the One who saves from sin, generates
excitement about Him, and introduces people to Him.
If John the Baptist were to step into your home, what do you
think he would be saying to you?
167
T hursday June 27
Turning Hearts in the Last Days

In a sense, we as Adventists see ourselves in the role of John the
Baptist. The herald of reform and repentance sought to prepare the way
for the first coming of Jesus; we, as a movement, see ourselves doing
the same for the Second Coming.
Read prayerfully Luke 1:17. How do these words capture our mes-
sage?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Our heavenly Father has turned the hearts of His children back to
Himself and has turned the hearts of His children to each other through
the Cross of Christ. The Elijah message pleads with families to believe
this incredible good news (2 Cor. 5:18–21; compare Eph. 2:11–18)
and to be people filled with grace as His Spirit yields a harvest of love
in them.
The world needs desperately a demonstration of unselfish, caring,
lasting commitment—and unswerving devotion to God. By God’s
grace Christian families can provide such a demonstration. Yet, we
must remember that the message we have for the world also is for our-
selves. Until the principles of gospel, unity, love, and self-sacrifice are
made manifest among us, especially in our own families, we will be
powerless to share this message with others. All the eloquent sermons,
all the logic and biblical presentations, aren’t enough: The world needs
to see manifest in our lives, especially in our family lives, the repen-
tance, the turned hearts, the love, and the commitment we preach about.
Just as John the Baptist had a power that changed lives and made his
preaching effective, we can do the same through the grace of God—but
only to the degree that we are willing to cooperate.
We are, through Jesus, part of the family in heaven (Eph. 3:15). Thus,
whether we are a family of one or more, we are called to be witnesses
for the God we profess to serve, and nothing can make our witness
more effective than to show the world what a family, regardless of its
size, can be through the power of the gospel.
What can you do, in a special way, to show those closest to you,
whether immediate family or someone else, that you love and
care about them?
_____________________________________________________
168
F riday June 28
Further Thought: Ellen G. White, “Carmel,” pp. 143–154, in Prophets

and Kings; “The Voice in the Wilderness,” pp. 97–108, in The Desire of
Ages.
“Our message must be as direct as was that of John. He rebuked

kings for their iniquity. Notwithstanding the peril his life was in, he
never allowed truth to languish on his lips. Our work in this age must
be as faithfully done.”—Ellen G. White Comments, The SDA Bible
Commentary, vol. 4, p. 1184.
 As a class, discuss the relevance of the Elijah message to your
local church. What can you do to help your church understand the
message and the church’s role in helping to spread it?
 Have those who are willing share with the class their own per-
sonal experiences of having their “hearts turned.” What changes
came about? What effect did this experience have upon their lives
and the lives of their families?
 If we see ourselves in the role of John the Baptist, what should
we expect to happen to us? What is the implicit message in that
answer?
 As a class, work on a paragraph, a kind of “Declaration of
Family Principles,” that best encapsulates what the biblical idea
for a family is. What criteria would you use to help craft those
principles? What have you learned this quarter that might have
helped you in establishing what these principles might be? Be
prepared to share it with the whole church.
 What promises can you as a parent claim for children who, at
least at this stage, have run away from the Lord?
169
i n s i d e
Story
My Three Wishes
By Lu Shen-Xiong
A year after my baptism, I applied for a new job as a truck driver because
of Sabbath conflicts at my previous workplace.
During the job interview, I announced that I had three requests:
• No Sabbath work
• No pork in the company meal boxes
• A loan of 50,000 Taiwanese dollars
The boss was stunned by my boldness. But he said, “Go work today, and
we’ll talk about this afterward.” He wanted to see how I would work.
After the workday finished, the boss called me over.
“You can work Sunday instead of Sabbath, but why don’t you eat pork?”
he asked.
His company, like many companies in Taiwan, provided employees with
daily meal boxes. “Pork is cheaper than chicken and beef, so why don’t you
eat it?” he questioned.
“This is my religious belief,” I replied.
The boss thought for a moment.
“Fine,” he said. “I won’t give you pork to eat. But why the loan of 50,000
Taiwanese dollars?”
I explained that I had been injured in a car accident recently and had no
money after the hospital bills and the expense of buying a new car.
“If I give you 50,000, how will you pay it back?” he asked. “Will you give
me 10,000 a month or maybe 20,000 per month?”
“No,” I said. “I’ll give you 1,000 a month.”
The boss couldn’t believe his ears. A monthly payment of 1,000 Taiwanese
dollars meant it would take more than four years to return the loan.
But something—or Someone—impressed the boss to give me a chance,
and he agreed to this last request.
Six months into the new job, the boss called me over.
“I’m forgiving your debt because you are such a good worker,” he said.
Now I couldn’t believe my ears. Working for God is good!
Before the job interview I had prayed to God, “I want to interview for
this new job, but You know that I have these three
wishes. Please intervene.” God answered my prayer.
When we do gospel work, nothing can stand in
our way.
Nearly 20 years on, Lu Shen-Xiong, 60, continues to work
full-time as a truck driver. He also is recognized as one of
the most effective lay church leaders in Taiwan, turning
three struggling congregations into robust churches. Read
more at the link: bit.ly/taiwan-truck-driver.
teachers comments
Part I: Overview
Whether one is reading the covenant curses laid out in Deuteronomy
28 or the stinging rebukes of the prophets (Isaiah through Malachi), a
certain pattern emerges. It goes something like this:
A. I, God, have saved you and treated you well.
B. You have rejected Me.
C. Terrible devastation will follow your rebellion.
D. In the end, I will forgive, save, and restore you.
Part C is sometimes so bleak and graphic (Deuteronomy 28, Ezekiel

23) that one would pause before using it for a family devotion. But
if one keeps turning the pages, a light of hope emerges—hope that
prophets will return (Mal. 4:5), hearts will turn (Mal. 4:6), and God
will restore all things.
Can we apply this hope to families that are falling apart, spouses
who don’t believe, or children who are giving the world a try? This
week’s lesson encourages us to do just that. God’s restoration of this
sin-fallen planet is an irrevocable promise. We can’t apply that promise
in a way that undermines free will. But if anyone can persuade a heart,
the Spirit of God can. In this hope we place our confidence.
Elijah’s experience testifies that God will go to great lengths to
regain the loyalty of His people. A drought, the raising of a widow’s
dead son, and a showdown with the opposing tribal god Baal shows
that God does not give up easily on Israel (1 Kings 17:1, 17:22, 18:19).
Can you imagine the family conversation at dinner tables the night
Israel saw fire come down from heaven? When God sees Israel, what
He really sees are its people and their families. From this angle, all of
God’s attempts to woo Israel back to Himself are an attempt to reach
the family.
John the Baptist is the New Testament Elijah (Matt. 11:13, 14).
He has Jesus’ endorsement as being both more than a prophet and
unparalleled among “ ‘those born of women’ ” (Matt. 11:11, ESV).
His message and life ought to hold our attention, especially in regard
to encouraging others (and perhaps ourselves) to return to the Lord.
Part II: Commentary

Scripture
The life and words of John the Baptist provide rich material for a few
171
teachers comments
lessons on the subject of returning to the Lord that could be used in

a variety of contexts, including the family. The following texts and
commentary serve as starting points for you, as the teacher, for further
study or for class discussions.
“ ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand’ ” (Matt. 3:2, ESV).
This command of John’s is the identical phrase that Jesus spoke in His
ministry (Matt. 4:17). Commanding people to repent may sound tactless
in our ears today, but it’s important to remember that John was relatively
successful. People were baptized, “confessing their sins” (Matt. 3:6).
What gave such impetus to this message? It was that something big was
right around the corner—the kingdom of God. To have God’s kingdom
finally break into history was the covenant climax and the hope and dream
of every Jew. “The coming of God’s kingdom is what we have waited for
our entire lives, for generations!” one could hear people say. John and
Jesus leveraged Israel’s anticipation for, and hope in, God’s kingdom
(Luke 11:20, 17:21). Their message, in large part, applies to us today.
The revolution Jesus began, and the kingdom He inaugurated, is still in
full swing. The Spirit has been poured out, is accessible, and is chang-
ing hearts now as He did in New Testament times. The consummation of
Christ’s kingdom at His second coming is drawing near. What, one might
ask, are you waiting for?
“ ‘You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the wrath to
come?’ ” (Matt. 3:7, ESV). Obviously, the command to repent wasn’t
strong enough for a Pharisee or Sadducee (Matt. 3:7). Usually when we
think of “turning the hearts” of family or friends to the Lord, we think of
those uninterested in God or those blatantly abandoning any semblance
of Christian ethics. But what about churchgoers’ hearts that have grown
cold and critical? Who’s warning them that they are in danger? The
answer often is no one. The Pharisees and Sadducees are the religious
leaders of their day, who, along with others in positions of respect, dole
out criticisms toward others but can’t tolerate the same toward themselves.
From them, John asks for more than verbal repentance. Words are cheap;
these folks are masters of religious verbosity. John’s imperative for them
is somewhat obscure in older translations, “Bring forth therefore fruits
meet for repentance” (Matt. 3:8). What does that exactly mean? It means
that we must dispense with the religious jargon and instead do actions
(fruits) that are worthy of, give evidence of, or prove that we have repented
(changed, turned) toward God. Our words, our beliefs, and our love are all
authenticated by actions. This outward display of an inward conversion is
the test the hypocrite, unless transformed, can’t pass.
“ ‘For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, “He has
a demon.” The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say,
“Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors
and sinners!” ’ ” (Matt. 11:18, 19, ESV). Local churches and the
172
172
teachers comments
unfortunate cliques and politics that are sometimes found therein can
get in the way of a believer’s sincere efforts to encourage a friend or
loved one to return to Jesus. How many times has it been said, “How
can I invite so-and-so to church with all that is going on here?” There
is definitely a spectrum of beliefs and practices within our church that
can cause tensions. However, the fact that Jesus and John were con-
demned for appearing to be on opposite ends of that spectrum should
offer some perspective. John’s strict lifestyle pegged him as being
demon-possessed. Jesus’ preferred associations resulted in His being
labeled as an indulgent glutton. Yet, Messiah Jesus and His prophetic
forerunner John were both on the same page. There existed a profound
harmony between them, coupled with a deep commitment to God and
to spreading His kingdom message.
This harmony is encouraging news for one returning to the Lord
and starting to attend church again. It means that the different “camps”
within a given church, though looking very different, may both be
striving to please the same God. It means that God accepts their wor-
ship, imperfect though it may be. It also means that one does not have
to figure out which camp is the “right” one and then feel obligated to
join. You can never go wrong in joining Jesus’ side—proving all things
and holding on to the good (1 Thess. 5:21). This perspective does not
mean that all groups are equally correct in what they maintain. But it
should serve to remind returning members that intrachurch factions
have no authority to set the stage for an individual’s church experience.
Always look for the third option between two extremes and remember
the wise words of G. K. Chesterton:
“The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and
Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mis-
takes. The business of the Conservatives is to prevent the mistakes from
being corrected.”—Illustrated London News, April 19, 1924, retrieved
from https://www.christiantoday.com/article/the.wit.and.wisdom.of
.gk.chesterton.10.quotes.to.make.you.think/54937.htm.
Both John and Jesus led lifestyles that others pointed to in order to
discredit their relationship with God. Remind people returning to the
Lord that if the people in Jesus’ day did that to the Son of God and
the greatest “ ‘born among women,’ ” people in our day might do it
to them too. Brace yourself and count it a privilege to walk in those
men’s shoes.
“ ‘He must increase, but I must decrease’ ” (John 3:30, ESV). John the
Baptist was the first prophetic voice in 400 years since Malachi. Through
him, the return of Elijah was fulfilled. John had disciples who called him
173
teachers comments
rabbi. He received the highest endorsement from the Messiah Himself. His
fame was real and widespread throughout Jerusalem. But his influence and
popularity were about to take a nosedive in contrast to the skyrocketing
fame of his younger cousin. His response to that was “ ‘Therefore this joy
of mine is now complete’ ” (John 3:29, ESV). If there is a quality of John’s
character worth imitating, it is his humility. Returning to the Lord, and per-
haps to a church one once belonged to, can be a humbling experience. But
humility is a beautiful thing. If it can be embraced on one’s journey back to
Christ, the journey will be all the sweeter.
Joseph invited “lost sheep” back to church and then watched them stand
bitter and cold as smiling church members and old friends greeted them
welcomingly. Afterward, Joseph asked them how their experience had
gone, and they said, “No one was nice to us. They just stared. They were
probably judging us.” What actually happened was that they projected
onto everyone else their own feelings of bitterness and resentment, while
the members were doing all they could to be kind. But indulging this per-
spective allowed them to walk away from church and God feeling justified
because “those ‘church people’ think they are better than everyone else.”
Oh, for the humility of a John the Baptist in these cases. A man who
could watch his disciples and influence migrate to another. A man whose
greatest joy was not in being in the spotlight of the admiration of others
but in seeing his Lord exalted. Church is a place to worship. It is a place
to sing to God, pray to God, study God, and commit one’s life to God.
If we go to church but ignore the purpose of why we go—if we ignore
God—then our wounded egos will take His place.
1. Recount the above story to your class. What kind of prework

could/should be done before bringing the “lost sheep” through the
church doors?
174
teachers comments
2. Ask the class to share testimonies they’ve heard of regarding

why someone returned to church. What, if any, are the patterns
that emerge? What can they teach us? How can they help us
become more successful in our efforts to woo members back
and retain them?
175
Bible Study Guide for the Third Quarter
2019
Jesus talked about the importance of helping the needy. “Assuredly, I
say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren,
you did it to Me” (Matt. 25:40, NKJV).
Along with proclaiming the great truths about salvation, the sanctuary,
the state of the dead, and the perpetuity of the law, we are to minister to
the needs of others. As Ellen G. White famously wrote: “Christ’s method
alone will give true success in reaching the people. The Saviour mingled
with men as one who desired their good. He showed His sympathy for
them, ministered to their needs, and won their confidence. Then He bade
them, ‘Follow Me.’ ”—The Ministry of Healing, p. 143.
And yet is it not even better when helping others in their immediate
and temporal need, also to point them to the “reason for the hope that is in
you” (1 Pet. 3:15, NKJV), and that is the promise of eternal life in Christ?
This quarter’s study, entitled “The Least of These”: Ministering to
Those in Need, by Jonathan Duffy, will focus on what God’s Word says,
and it says a lot about our duty to minister to the needs of those around us.
Lesson 1—God Created . . .
The Week at a Glance:
Sunday: God: A Glimpse of Creation (Gen. 1:1)
Monday: A Complete World (Gen. 1:31)
Tuesday: Stewards of the Earth (Gen. 2:15)
Wednesday: A Broken World (Gen. 3:1–5)
Thursday: The Family Web of Humanity (Matt. 22:39)
Memory Text—Proverbs 14:31
Sabbath Gem: Our world continues to be something that God loves,
despite sin. While God set in motion His plan for redeeming and re-
creating the world, He also has given us roles to play in the fulfillment
of His larger plans.
Lesson 2—Blueprint for a Better World
The Week at a Glance:
Sunday: The God Who Hears (Exod. 3:7)
Monday: The Ten Commandments (Exod. 20:1–17)
Tuesday: Slaves, Widows, Fatherless, Foreigners (Exod. 22:21–23)
Wednesday: Second Tithing (Deut. 26:12)
Thursday: The Year of the Jubilee (Lev. 25:10–17)
Memory Text—Leviticus 19:18
Sabbath Gem: With the creation of the people of Israel, God was
now working with an entire nation. So, He set about giving them laws
that would be a way to live so that those who were blessed by God
would be able to bless others, as well. This principle still exists today.
Lessons for People Who Are Legally Blind The Adult Sabbath
School Bible Study Guide is available free in braille, on audio CD, and via online
download to people who are legally blind or physically disabled. This includes
individuals who, because of arthritis, multiple sclerosis, paralysis, accident, and so
forth, cannot hold or focus on normal ink-print publications. Contact Christian Record
Services for the Blind, Box 6097, Lincoln, NE 68506-0097. Phone: 402-488-0981;
email: services@christianrecord.org; website: www.christianrecord.org.

Absg Q2 2019 PDF

Transféré par

Informations du document

Titre original

Copyright

Formats disponibles

Partager ce document

Partager ou intégrer le document

Options de partage

Avez-vous trouvé ce document utile ?

Ce contenu est-il inapproprié ?

Droits d'auteur :

Formats disponibles

Absg Q2 2019 PDF

Transféré par

Droits d'auteur :

Formats disponibles

Contents

1 The Rhythms of Life—March 30–April 5 6

2 The Choices We Make—April 6–12 14

3 Preparing for Change—April 13–19 22

4 When Alone—April 20–26 30

5 Wise Words for Families—April 27–May 3 38

6 The Royal Love Song—May 4–10 46

7 Keys to Family Unity—May 11–17 56

8 Season of Parenting—May 18–24 64

9 Times of Loss—May 25–31 72

10 Little Times of Trouble—June 1–7 80

11 Families of Faith—June 8–14 88

12 What Have They Seen in Your House?—June 15–21 96

13 Turning Hearts in the End Time—June 22–28 104

Editorial Office 12501 Old Columbia Pike, Silver Spring, MD 20904

Principal Contributors Editorial Assistant

Juliana Sant os Abigail Dar richón Quinter os

W hat do a 12-year-old girl in Brazil, a missionary baby whose

19-2-ABSG Ad1.indd 1 5/29/18 4:16 PM

The Rhythms of Life

Memory Text: “To everything there is a season, a time for every

* Study this week’s lesson to prepare for Sabbath, April 6.

Read Genesis 8:22. How is order seen here, as well?

Think about how the Sabbath, in a powerfully regular way,

The Rhythms of Life

What are the predictable seasons of life mentioned in the following

Gen. 21:8, Judg. 13:24

Ps. 71:5, Prov. 5:18

Gen. 15:15, Judg. 8:32

Whatever your life circumstances happen to be right now, what

Read the following texts. What do they tell us to do in our interactions

Look at the two following statements of Jesus: Luke 11:34 and

Further Thought: Imagine the changes that occurred in the life of

 In class, talk about some of the life-changing experiences that

Part II: Commentary

Part III: Life Application

1. Get into a rhythm. This expression is used when something becomes

2. Sabbath renewal is never far away. Just as prayer is untouchable by

3. Be the transitional character that Jacob wasn’t. We often take the

The Choices We Make

* Study this week’s lesson to prepare for Sabbath, April 13.

Free Will, Free Choice

Read Ephesians 1:1–4; Titus 1:1, 2; and 2 Timothy 1:8, 9. What do

What does Matthew 22:35–37 teach about free will?

Making the Right Choices

1. 1 Thess. 5:17, James 1:5

2. Isa. 1:19; Matt. 7:24, 25

3. Ps. 119:105, 2 Tim. 3:16

4. Prov. 3:5, 6; Isa. 58:11

5. Prov. 15:22, 24:6

In every important decision we make, how crucial that we go to the

How do you go about making big choices in your life? What, if

What principles in choosing friends do we find in the following verses?

“Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits’ ” (1 Cor.

Choosing a Life Partner

Further Thought: All through Scripture, we are confronted with

 What Bible characters made wrong choices, and what can we

 No question: we all have regrets about wrong choices we have

 If some people were to come to you talking about marriage,

In 2016, Dornelles moved to Iraq to help inter-

Part II: Commentary

are momentous. Thus, one would assume everyone invests considerable

Basis of Christian Ethics

Whether it is children under our care or if we have responsibili