Stay in Touch

At some point in life we begin to realize that

maintaining
friendships gets harder and harder. Like it or not, we
all get
busy and sometimes just don’t have enough time to
keep up
with everything—and everyone—in our world. Before
we
know it, we may start to grow distant from people we
used
to be close to and eventually lose track of their lives.
Without
frequency of interaction, our friendships can wither
and
fade, and for that we may wind up having regrets.
To keep your relationships alive, you must take the
time to stay in touch. This requires conscious effort
and is
not always convenient or easy. Essentially, it means
either
being a good communicator or learning to become
one.
In other words, we have to take the initiative to find
out
what’s going on in other people’s lives and be willing
to
let them in on what’s happening in our world as well.
The
mere fact that our lives are so overscheduled and fast
paced
calls for creativity in our quest to stay in touch.
Dan Vishny is someone who knows how to step
outside
the box when it comes to staying in touch. Vish, as
he prefers to be called, is an accountant by training
who
also has a penchant for vegan cooking and travel. One
day
Vish, while living in Chicago, was experimenting with a
new vegan recipe when he got a call from a friend he
used
to cook with back in Eugene, Oregon. Although it was
great to catch up, Vish was saddened by the fact that
many
of his closest friends were spread out across the
country
and that he hardly ever talked to them anymore. In
addition,
due to his busy work schedule and the pressures of
raising a family, it was always either the wrong time to
go
visit or just too expensive.
Finally Vish decided that enough was enough. He
made it his mission within the coming year to pay a
personal
house call to as many of the people he loved in life as
he could, and he was determined to do it on a
shoestring
budget over a thirty-day period. Step one: he started
saving
money and his vacation days at work—even though
he only got a few weeks off a year, the combination of
sick leave and personal days would get him pretty
close to
what he needed. Step two: a few months later he
bought
a used recreational vehicle on eBay at a fi re sale price
with
the money he had saved. Step three: he started
making a
month’s worth of veggie burritos to eliminate the lion’s
share of food expenses for his family on the trip. Step
four:
he e-mailed his friends and told them to be on the
lookout
for a beat-up RV with Illinois plates.
The trip was an incredible experience for both his
family
and the friends that they visited from coast to coast.
Friendships were rekindled and the way was paved for
future reunions. Through Vish’s determination to stay
in
touch, what was initially a source of pain and regret
had
turned into a wellspring of happiness and
reconnection.
The good news is that there are plenty of simple and
easy things you can do to stay in touch. Start by
remembering
birthdays. Mail care packages and send updates on
your life. Text a quick hello or “thinking of you” note.
Chat
on Facebook and leverage other social networking
tools
to connect with people you haven’t talked to for a
while.
Share traditions. Go for a weekend getaway together.
Get
on Skype. Return each other’s phone calls. Send
recent
pictures. Meet after work or take morning walks
together
if you live in the same town. Set a designated time to
talk
each week. Celebrate life events together. Show up un
-
expectedly. Plan a reunion. More than anything, be the
friend that you want others to be. Remember that it’s
never too late to start, regardless of how long it’s been
since
you’ve last talked.
Life can get in the way of relationships, and that can
lead to regret. Commit to ensuring your friends don’t
feel
“de-prioritized” or taken for granted. Reach out
regularly
to the important people in your life and strengthen the
lines of communication. Be tenacious about fi nding
ways
to get quality time with each other, even if it’s not in
person
or as frequent as you would like. Make a conscious
effort to stay in touch. Nurture your relationships and
see
how they blossom.