Strive to Be Selfless

Before my wife and I decided to start trying to have

children,
we agreed that we should first get a dog. A few weeks
after that discussion I surprised my wife with a
sevenweek-
old Border collie mix puppy that had been rescued
by the local shelter. While the shelter staff had named
her
Runtley because she was the runt of a litter of thirteen
brothers and sisters, we decided to call her Scruffy
instead
based on her disheveled yet undeniably cute
appearance.
Almost immediately we realized that while we were in
love with the idea of having a dog, we were in way
over
our heads. Scruffy chewed through the linoleum fl oor
in
the kitchen, tore up the fl oorboards, mutilated the
couch,
and ate all of the doorstops. She regularly urinated on
the
carpet and howled all night long in her cage unless we
let
her come in and sleep in our bed. As much as we
hated to
admit it, we started to regret our decision to become
dog
parents.
One night after Scruffy had ripped up the new fl owers
we’d just planted in the backyard, my wife and I had a
serious discussion regarding what to do about her.
“Maybe
we should return her to the shelter,” I said.
“Or we could give her away to a family who could take
better care of her,” my wife added.
But almost as soon as the words came out of our
mouths, we felt guilty and embarrassed. After all,
Scruffy
was just a puppy doing what puppies typically do. Why
were we acting so surprised then? We were treating
our
dog like she was a nuisance and an inconvenience
instead
of recognizing that she was a puppy who simply
needed
our help to learn and feel loved. We were being selfi sh
as
opposed to selfl ess, which we realized was the true
source
of our regret about Scruffy.
The conversation ended with a mutual resolve to put
our self-interest aside and make a more concerted
effort to
focus on Scruffy’s needs. We started by taking her to
obedience
classes at the local pet shop and by working harder
at getting her house trained. We took her on walks
more
often and bought her a doggy bed that we
permanently
put in our room. From that point on, we had no more
re grets about our decision to get a dog or the decision
to
keep her. By being a little more selfless and patient,
we
were able to love and care for Scruffy for the entire
fourteen
years she was with us, even when she got sick at the
end. The day we had to put her down—which was one
of
the saddest days of my life—I knew that we were
thinking
of what she needed at that point, which was to be free
from
pain. I will never forget holding Scruffy in my arms
until
she took her last breath and was finally at peace.
Strive to be selfless by putting your self-interest aside
so
that you can better understand and focus on the
interests
of others. Beyond taking care of a pet, this applies to
raising
a child, playing on a team, being a partner in a
relationship,
working in an organization, and being a good
friend. To avoid the regret of being selfish, self-
absorbed,
and self-serving, consider others’ needs as well as
your own.
Shift your focus outward instead of inward. When you
strive to be selfless, you don’t think less of yourself,
you just
think about yourself less.