DEBT AND INDEBTEDNESS

Very often, in the back of our unconscious mind, we feel that someone owes us
something; that he is obliged to give us a certain teaching, guidance, a point in the right
direction. It is an unconscious feeling that the world owes us something; that society
owes it to us; that others are obliged to respond to our needs, demands, expectations,
hopes, conditionings. This belief is deeply embedded into all our relationships: with
partners, parents, surroundings, friends, society; with the teaching and our Master as
well. We rarely second-guess this feeling. Yet it is always present. When we talk to
someone we expect he is obliged to listen to us; when we give something to someone
we expect that he is forever in our debt and “much obliged”. In short, we feel owing a
debt very often. It grows stronger if it concerns something we evaluated as crucial,
existential. That is when we sense owing the most.

I feel you ought to be much obliged to me for giving you teaching, while you feel I am
obliged to give it to you, that I owe it to you. I feel that my partner owes me her thanks
for being with her for all that I am giving - while the other side feels the exact same way
in relation to me. I feel that my parents owe me, and they feel I am obliged to give back
to them. The cycle of being indebted is a vicious one. Everything around us is debt:
friendships, relationships, job, society, banks, taxes, the mind/body relationship, etc.
In truth, there is no debt. Yet, debt-slavery is ever-present because we are always in it
internally.
Nobody owes us anything. And, are we indebted to anyone or anything? If you think that
you are, you are. If you think that you are not, then you are not. There is certain
permeating with someone or something, one which is free from expectations, free from
debt, and this is what our personality imitates with the sense of duty, obligation and
indebtedness. It imitates it with owing to someone or something, with being owed
something, being owed from someone. In this permeating, in the unified field of
consciousness (unification), as some would call it – there is no sense of owing anything.
There is a feeling of permeation, of unification, of love which gives and receives
unconditionally, without terms or debt. There is no feeling of “a must”, of obligation or
terms, etc.
Concerning teaching, a student feels that the Master owes him something. I know this
feeling very well, although it was hidden. Behind it, there was a feeling of indignity in
cases when I did not get something, or if someone else got what I wanted or thought I
needed. Behind indignation there was anger, and behind anger feelings of worthlessness,
powerlessness, a feeling of lack, of being deprived of something. Sometimes this
manifested through aggression: most often through suppressed aggression toward
someone or through one directed at myself. On the other hand, I was able to
comprehend that nobody owes me anything, and that I owe nothing to anyone. But this
was mere intellectual comprehension, not real understanding - it wasn’t embedded in my
feeling of existence, in my being. Others were obliged to give me respect, worth,
meaning, acceptance, and I gave in return accordingly. Later, I realized that they felt the
same way about me. Even today I notice this subtle feeling of “owing a debt” in myself. I
find it amusing, but it’s there. Lurking from the side road and waiting for me to return
into the old “I” from where it might reactivate self-righteousness, judging and feelings of
deprivation – in an attempt to pull me into its vicious cycle and take me for a spin of
imprisonment. Usually it takes a few moments for me to notice it, or a minute or so if it’s
sly and subtle, hiding behind something that had slipped my attention in the past. For
example, I feel it while I’m “breaking into” or “steeling” certain trade secrets, secrets of
the teaching. It happens when I’m gaining insight into bits and pieces I have been
searching for years, bits that have been missing as a supplement to certain parts of the
teaching and which had not been given to me by my Masters. It appears through
lamentations, through feelings of inferiority. Also, anger, for I had to waste many years
to break into these secrets of the teaching. Then a notion of what might have been
appears, “if only I had been given this on time!” Which is a lie. Debt slavery. Expectation
that somebody owes me something. I recognize debt-manipulation in others very quickly
of course, especially if it’s directed at me and I know that I owe them nothing. But when
it is a feeling of me being owed something, a feeling that those people (Masters,
teachers, gurus) owe it to me, that they were obliged to give me something – it tends to
slip my critical consciousness, luckily not for long.
The Universe knows no debt. What it knows is exchange. Exchange is not obligatory, but
based on one’s own accord and in goodwill; based on permeation, without conditions or
terms. There might be a better word for this than “exchange”, though. It is a feeling of
oneness with everything, a feeling of permeation; a sense that all of this is our own
nature whose natural feeling is that of giving and receiving – to and from one’s own self.
It is a sort of interchange, exchange, permeation of giving and receiving. I don’t know
how to put this into words any better if you don’t understand or “get it”.

We aren’t disadvantaged by anything, save by the very feeling of being deprived of

something, which is a false feeling of personality. Personality feels someone is obliged to
give us something, but through imitation. Being lacks this feeling. It has no sense of
obligement for it is always permeated with reality and reality provides it with everything,
and the other way around. This is what personality imitates in its own way. Existence
which you are, lacks the sense of obligement, for it is wholesome. Wholesomeness has
no sense of debt or lack. This is the feeling you ought to take back, so to say, re-
conquer if need be. For, “The kingdom of Heaven is conquered by force”.

Nobody owes us anything. All had been given to us, but we are alienated from ourselves
for starters, and then from reality around us. Masters aren’t obliged to give us anything
for there is no such thing as deprivation. Obviously, you can’t say this to most people,
for their reality is the one which they believe in; one which they want, cherish, love; one
which gives them the sense of themselves. Understanding the wholeness of Reality is not
easy, for it calls for you to feel everything that the teaching is telling you, and within the
WHOLENESS OF THAT SAME TEACHING. Only then you begin to “get it”, before you are
able to start understanding it and eventually living it.
I am not obliged to give you anything. You are not obliged to give me anything. There is
a deep-felt permeation, giving with joy and love, and receiving in this way too. An
interchange, an exchange, for the lack of a better word - since you don’t have a sense of
exchanging or interchanging some-thing with some-one.
Don’t be deluded into thinking that someone who is selflessly giving to you is not going
to expect that you apply, use what has been given. This is a bit contradictory if you don’t
know; don’t understand what I’m talking about. Everything is giving to everything else,
but not everything is open to receive, apply, and use what is being given. This is a
process of learning. If you were given to learn, to evolve, you are one in a thousand, or
one in a million. If you are not using it, giving will be terminated. It will be given to
someone who can use it. There is nothing unfair about this. It is just. Find an example
from everyday life concerning this and it will become clearer. During giving and receiving
energy is exchanged, but if you have a bottomless pit, a hollow pitcher - there is no
exchange, no flow. All is in vain and you stop pouring fresh water into a hollow pitcher.
This is also love. Such love will make a hollow pitcher get fixed, learn to receive, learn to
use and in the end – give. The universe has no delusions about love. Love is very
practical and just. It is not a sentimental reasoning about “un-conditionality” in which
you are free to be miserable, a victim, a pray, while some God laments the poor you and
keeps giving – unconditionally – while you keep spending as you like, where you like,
with no responsibility or evolution. That’s nothing but a human notion, a lie, imagination.
It is personality giving you a sense that you are being owed something.

Nobody and nothing owes us anything. If somebody owes you, it’s your problem. If you
owe to someone, if you think you owe it to them, it’s your problem. Reality has nothing
to do with it. If you enter debt-slavery then you are obliged to pay your dues. For you
believe in debt. You create and maintain debt. Resolve owing a debt within yourself and
you will resolve the external debt: in your surroundings and the world. You will see
reality in a new way. You will understand it and there will cease to be debt, owing,
obligement. Instead, there will be cooperation, exchange, permeation without a victim,
without wailing, expectations or indebtedness.

Bhaerava Kaala