Open Letter

April 30, 2019

Dear Step Parents,

Congratulations! You now have a new child to help take care of. When you married your spouse,

you promised to not only love and cherish them, but also their children from a previous

relationship. Get ready to become a provider, protector, and role model to this child, whether you

see them every day or just a few times a month. It is not going to be easy, but no matter how hard

it gets, you cannot give up on the relationship with your step child. Treat this child as if they are

your own, not just your spouse’s kid; trust me, it will make a huge difference.

In today’s society, the reality of becoming a stepparent is now a very real possibility due to the

increase in divorce rates. Research shows that the divorce rate in the United States is nearing

50%, and a portion of these separated couples have had at least one child together; this does not

include the couples who never got married but still had a child and split up. A large percent of

these divorcees will remarry and introduce a step parent into the picture.

When my parents spilt up, my dad moved away and I lived with my mom. They both got

remarried to other people about five or six years after their break up. When I was younger, I did

not have a good relationship with my stepmom; this was partially because I did not stay with her

and my dad for long periods of time. I always thought she was out to get me, but that was not the

case at all; she loves me more than I can imagine. My relationship with my stepdad was they

exact opposite; it was really good when I was younger because I lived with my mom and him.

Now that I am an adult, I have a great relationship with my stepmom, but a crappy relationship

with my stepdad.
My stepmom is a great example of how a step parent should be. She never stopped trying to

build a good relationship with me no matter how poorly I acted towards her. I was always treated

as one of her own children; she was not afraid to parent me which let me know she really cares.

When people ask her how many children she has, without hesitation, she says four instead of

three; this has made me feel loved and wanted.

My stepdad is an example of what not to do. We stopped having a decent relationship when my

younger brother was born; it is obvious that he favors his son more than me; sometimes he acts

like he wants nothing to do with me. He treats me like I am just my mother’s child and we are

constantly butting heads. I do not think he cares about me as much as a parent should.

If you ever find yourself as a step parent in this situation, love that child as much as you would

love your own kid, do not be afraid to act like a parent by being involved and setting and

enforcing rules, and never stop trying. This last tip is the most important because it is not always

going to be easy, but that does not mean you should give up; your children deserve better than

that.

Sincerely,

An Experienced Stepchild