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Names: Gary Parrish

Reviewing: Richard Newby
Introduction
Introductions have three parts, as we discussed in class (see resource if you forgot) .
Looking at your sample paper, find and examine how your paper deals with all three steps
by answering the following questions:
- How does the paper start? Is the general information necessary and relevant to
the paper as a whole?
The paper starts by giving me a brief summary of what the paper will talk about
as a whole. It explains his stance on the subject almost immediately, and then goes
on to further explain why this is an important topic.

- How does the paper present the “issue” section? Is this an effective transition?
Do you have a clear idea why people debate this topic? Can you offer an
alternative way to write this?
While reading the paper I understood the good reasons as to why it should be
introduced to children at a young age, but there was no clear reason as to why
people oppose the idea of this being taught at a young age.

- In this paper, you don’t really have a “traditional” thesis, as you should see in
your sample paper. However, you can still examine the presentation of the
research questions—does the author introduce them well or do they seem like
the author just placed them there?
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The ideas and questions being asked are clear and concise. I follow the question
and their answers throughout most of the paper very well. The question is asked
in the title and immediately into the paragraph I am getting answers as to why
and how.

- Is the introduction effective? Why or why not?

The introduction is affective for me simply because it touches on something that I
feel anyone that was once a teenager can agree with. Being ignorant of something
makes it hard to deal with things in life. Mental illness is great way to explain why
being ignorant of a condition can sometimes cause people to shy away from
understanding .

Research Questions
Look at the 3 or 4 research questions in your sample paper and answer the following questions:

- Are all 4 question types present? If not, what is missing?

All four research questions are present in the rough draft.

- Just by looking at the research questions, do you think they can carry the paper
forward? In other words, do you think you’d be able to write a 8-10 paper based on
them?
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There are countless things that have happened in America alone that can be linked
back to mental illness. Public shooting, suicide, kidnapping, murder, just to name a
few. So in my opinion the area to explore with his questions alone are limitless.

- How narrow are the questions? Do any of them need to be narrowed down?
I think the question “How did mental illness become popularized” can be narrowed
down to a certain part of the world. For instance just one country.

Exploring the Research

As you read through the paper, answer the following for each research question (each major
section).
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Research Question 1

• What is the section about? What are the main points?

It breaks down what is Mental Health education, and tell how people already have a
negative outlook towards the subject by a certain age. Due to the lack of knowledge
surrounding the subject.

• Does the author devote too much time to one point and not explore another idea?
In the first question, the paragraph more or less devotes 2 to three sentences to the
reason as to what it exactly is.

• Does the author inject his/her own opinion? Is there any bias?
Already thing written so far is mostly cited and there seem to be no original ideas
just facts.

• How many sources are used by the author? Do you think the author uses his/her
sources effectively?
With the rough draft their about 4 sources used in the paragraphs.

• Are there too many quotes present? Not enough? Do you feel overwhelmed by how
many are present? Do the quotes fit?
Quotes are not overwhelming in the current state of the paper.

• Are the research question and content related or did the author start to explore
something else?
He stays on his path which is in line with his introduction.
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Research Question 2

• What is the section about? What are the main points?

Was not included in rough draft.

• Does the author devote too much time to one point and not explore another idea?

• Does the author inject his/her own opinion? Is there any bias?

• How many sources are used by the author? Do you think the author uses his/her
sources effectively?

• Are there too many quotes present? Not enough? Do you feel overwhelmed by how
many are present? Do the quotes fit?
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• Are the research question and content related or did the author start to explore
something else?

Research Question 3

• What is the section about? What are the main points?

Was not included in rough draft.

• Does the author devote too much time to one point and not explore another idea?

• Does the author inject his/her own opinion? Is there any bias?

• How many sources are used by the author? Do you think the author uses his/her
sources effectively?
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• Are there too many quotes present? Not enough? Do you feel overwhelmed by how
many are present? Do the quotes fit?

• Are the research question and content related or did the author start to explore
something else?

Research Question 4

• What is the section about? What are the main points?

Was not included in rough draft

• Does the author devote too much time to one point and not explore another idea?

• Does the author inject his/her own opinion? Is there any bias?
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• How many sources are used by the author? Do you think the author uses his/her
sources effectively?

• Are there too many quotes present? Not enough? Do you feel overwhelmed by how
many are present? Do the quotes fit?

• Are the research question and content related or did the author start to explore
something else?

Primary Research
• Was a survey or interview conducted? Do you know when it was conducted and
where?
Was not included in the rough draft.

• Do you think the survey/interview adds to the paper? Or is the content unrelated?
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• Does the author bring the primary research in discussion with other material?
(Remember, the point of primary research is so that it can engage with a larger
discussion). If so, how so? If not, how would you make it communicate with other
information provided?

Table/Figure/Chart
• Is there a table/figure/chart included? If so, does the author explain it?
Was not included in the rough draft.
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Abstract
After reading the paper, go back to the abstract and answer the following:

- Does the abstract sum up the whole paper in a short way?

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- Does it mention that primary research was done?

- Does it present new information? (It should not)

Overall Thoughts
• How would you grade this paper? Explain why.
With what limited paper I was given, and my knowledge on how to grade a
paper like this I would give it an A. Simply because it is a rough draft, and if the
rest of the paper follows the structure of his first question. It will be a fine
paper.
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• Is the paper easy to read? Are there a lot of mechanical issues?

The paper is easy to follow, and is easy for someone who has no background
with the subject to understood.

• What did you learn?

I did not learn a lot, but it did make me reflect in a way. By questioning
whether or not someone I knew had an illness and it was ignored. I believe I
had a family with one, and it made me look back, and wonder if we had been
taught signs. Could we have been able to prevent a death. I feel this subject is
the next thing we need to understand well before we as a species can continue
progress efficiently.