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37. The Apotheosis of Augustus One stage of the ournay had bean partially depressing, my tay at Campos Novos. Cat of fom my companions by the epidemic wich Inpt them immobilized eighty hometres further bac, all T esl a6 ‘vas walt just outside the post, where a dozen or so people weve dying f malaria, leishmaniss and hookworm, bat chief of hinge. The Press woman, whom I employed to do my washing, dematiled not only soap, but 4 meal: otherwise, ae she explained, she woulé not have tad the etength to do the work. This was toe: thee peopled out all capacity for living. Beng to weak and foo sick to struggle, they ‘vid to reduce thelr activities and thle noods, xo a8 to reach state of torpor which Would demand minimum expenditare of phseal nergy aud atthe same time dal the ralzation oftheir wetched- “The Indians conteibated to this depressing atmosphere in dierent ‘nay. The two hestle groups, who bad met at Campos Novos and were Constantly on th point of coming to blows wit each other, wee not purticalarly well dapoved towards me. Thad to keep a sharp lok-out nd all-anthroplogiel work had become vitally impecite. In ‘normal conditions, eldvark is already enough of stain: you have forbe op st daybreak, and then rain awake unt the last eative hes fone to lee, and even sometimes wateh over hit as he sepa you fave to ty to make yourself Inconrpicaons, wile being constaatly presents everything member everything, note everyting; display ‘Sn embartssing degre of ndsertion, coax information ost of snot hosed urchin and be ready tomake the moat of a moment's obligingnese or earsessoeso alternatively, for days on end you have Crepes sl ‘rosy and withdraw into an attitude of esrve because of some ead den change of mood on the putt ofthe tribe. As he practises his po- ‘eesion, the anthropologist fe consumed by doubts: bas he relly abandoned his native setting, his ends, and his way of le, spent Such considerable amounts of money and energy, and endangered his Inalth, forthe sole purpose of snaking he presence accept to 2 ‘core orto of miserable creatures doomed to early extinetan, whose thief eccupations meanwhile are delousing themselves and sleping And on whose whims the socoes or fallre of his sion depends? ‘When the natives are definitely il-dleposed, as was the eave at Campos ae 398 sue RETURN Novos, hesitation becomes worse. Thay even refuse to let themselves be sen withont warning, they may disappear for days, having gone ‘fon some hunting o gathering expedition. Tn the hope of reestablsh- ga contact that was so hardly won, the antheopaogist hang about, ssking time and camping st the bt; he reeads his old note, copes ‘hem out and tres to interpret thems alternatively he may set ime fell sme Sticky and pointes task, « srt of caricature of his true fanetion, such ar easing the distance between the hearths or making fr inventory of the Individoal branches used in the building of the deserted shelters. "Above alle aks himself questions: Why has he come here? With ‘what hopes ot what objectives? What oxactly i the nate of anthro- ological reer? Ist» normal occupation like any ther peoesio, Fhe only difrence being that the fice oF laboratory is separated ftom the practitioner's home by a distance of several thowsand lo- Fetes Or desire om a oe aia coe, wich ins hat ‘he anthropologiet Is calling nto question the system in wbich be was ‘bore aad brought up? Tt was now nearly fve fears since T had lft France and interrupted my tniversty care Meanwhile, the more pro dent of toy former eoleagues were begining to climb the academic Jade those with polteal leanings, such as I had once bad, were ‘dveady members of pariament and woslé toon bo ministers, And here ‘pas, trekking across dvert wastes in purstof afew petheti human ements, By whom or by what had 1 been impaled to disrupt the formal couae of my existence? Was ite teck on my part, a clever iverson, which woul allow me to resume my career with additional ‘Gdvantages for which 1 woud be given edt? Or did my decison Expres e deop-eated incompatibility with my social setting so that, STntever happened, I would ineitaly vein a state of ever greater ‘Strangerent from it? Through a remarkable paredox, my lie of a ‘Venure, instead of opening up anew world tomo, had the eflet rather Ut bringing me back fo the ld one, andthe wor ad been Yoking fr ‘integrated in my grasp, Just as, once they were in my power, be sen andthe landscapes I bed set out to conquar lost the significance Tied hoped they woald ave for me, so for these disappointing yet present images, othe images were stituted whic had been held ia serve by my post and bad seme of no particular importance wen {hey sill bebged to the reality crounding me. Traveling through gions upon wich few eyes had gaze sting the existence of com unis whose poverty Was the rice paid in the frst fastanoe by them for my being ale to go back thousands of years i time, Wak no longer fly swat of either world, What came tome were feng ‘sions ofthe French countryside {had eut myself of fom, oF snatch aaa ot tet rectny which were the most conventional expressions of & EEE

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