TFA One Page Essay

by Linde Fonville

Submission date: 06-May-2019 05:51PM (UT C-0400)

Submission ID: 1126013063
File name: T FA_One_page_Essay.docx (17.3K)
Word count: 350
Character count: 1717
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TFA One Page Essay
ORIGINALITY REPORT

29 %
SIMILARIT Y INDEX
24%
INT ERNET SOURCES
0%
PUBLICAT IONS
29%
ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
www.enotes.com
Int ernet Source 18%
2
aplang2011.weebly.com
Int ernet Source 6%
3
Submitted to Yosemite High School
St udent Paper 5%

Exclude quotes Of f Exclude matches Of f

Exclude bibliography On
TFA One Page Essay
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

32
PAGE 1
/35

Comment 1
ok, but this is kind of f act...it's well-stated in the book...to make it a stronger claim or thesis you
need to add something of your own thinking to it...."the f ear leads to a poor relationship with his
son, ultimately resulting in Nowye losing f aith in his f ather and ultimately his culture.

Comment 2
maybe a bit too long of a quote f or a paper this short.

Comment 3
as a thesis this part would be what your adding...your thinking...then you would f ind evidence to
prove it...it makes a better claim/thesis/or topic sentence than analysis.

Comment 4
this may be a better thesis....but choose your words caref ully (diction) is he af raid OF his
f ather? No, he's af raid of being like him, or being seen as being like him...

Comment 5
another interesting claim...then expand...what might this constant struggle against the f ear do to
him? and how does it play out in his relationships? so the f ear would be the cause of it....that
would be a neat claim.

Comment 6
edit caref ully
 Comment 7
interesting claim

Comment 8
not just here maybe...but all through the book.

Comment 9
ok, you still make some interesting claims, but they tend to appear at the end of your points,
paragraphs, where the analysis should be. It might really help you to do an outline of your
essays and f ocus on the paragraphs. Look at the last sentences of your paragraphs...could
they really be topic sentences/claims? maybe.

PAGE 2
RUBRIC: 9 TH-12TH GRADE ANALYSIS

CLAIM/FOCUS Developing
Claim and Focus: Make a clear claim about the text(s) early in the essay and f ocus on proving it.

ADVANCED T he essay makes a clear claim about the purpose, ef f ectiveness, or message of the
text(s) based on the strategies, techniques, or devices of the text(s). T he essay
maintains f ocus on analyzing the text(s), using the whole essay to develop the claim
and thoroughly address the demands of the prompt.

PROFICIENT T he essay makes a clear claim about the purpose, ef f ectiveness, or message of the
text(s). T he essay maintains a f ocus on the text(s), but may stray at times f rom
developing the claim. If more than one text is being analyzed, the essay demonstrates
a good balance between or among the texts and addresses the demands of the
prompt.

DEVELOPING T he essay makes a claim about the text(s), but may not connect the claim to the
strategies, techniques, or devices of the text(s). T he essay may maintain f ocus on
the text(s), but not the analysis (or vice versa). If more than one text is being
analyzed, the writer may neglect one or more and may not f ully address the demands
of the prompt.

EMERGING T he essay does not have a claim about the text or about the strategies, techniques,
or devices of the text(s), but may instead of f er overly general f acts as a claim. T he
essay does not develop a claim throughout the essay and does not address the
demands of the prompt.

ANALYSIS/EVID Prof icient

Analysis and Evidence: Choose the right evidence and analyze the evidence's purpose and ef f ect.

ADVANCED T he essay cites the most appropriate and valid evidence to support its claim and f ully
explains how the evidence cited leads to the message or purpose of the text(s). T he
essay demonstrates insightf ul reasoning and f ull understanding of the strategies of
the text(s).

PROFICIENT T he essay cites appropriate evidence to support its claim and f ollows up evidence
with explanations of how it works to achieve the author's message. Summary, if
present, is balanced with analysis. T he essay demonstrates some reasoning and a
basic understanding of the text's or texts' strategies.

DEVELOPING T he essay relies too heavily on summary and of f ers only vague analysis to support
its claim and evidence is not f ollowed up with analysis. T he essay demonstrates very
little reasoning, and instead includes assertions about the text's or texts' strategies.

EMERGING T he essay does not use evidence f rom the text(s) f or the purpose of analysis. T he
essay may incorporate summary without analysis, neglecting to f ocus on the
f eatures of the text(s).

ORGANIZ AT ION Developing

Organization: Include an engaging introduction and strong conclusion. Use transitions throughout the
essay to make connections clear.

ADVANCED T he essay incorporates ef f ective transitions and an organizational structure that

enhances the analysis. T he essay includes an ef f ective introductory paragraph and a
concluding paragraph.

PROFICIENT T he essay's transitions and structure make it clear and easy to f ollow. T he essay
includes an introductory paragraph or statement, as well as a concluding paragraph
or statement.

DEVELOPING T he essay's transitions and structure may interf ere with a f ull understanding of the
writer's claim. T he essay includes an attempt at an introduction/introductory
statement and/or conclusion/concluding statement.

EMERGING T he lack of transitions and structure make the essay hard to f ollow. T he essay is
missing an introduction or conclusion of any kind.

LANG/ST YLE Prof icient

Language and Style: Use specif ic, interesting language and clear sentence structure to communicate ideas.

ADVANCED T he essay has an established, f ormal style and objective tone that is maintained
throughout. T he essay uses mostly correct, varied sentence structure and uses
precise language and domain-specif ic vocabulary in a way that addresses the
complexity of the topic. Few errors are present, and they do not interf ere with
meaning.

PROFICIENT T he essay has an established, f ormal style that is maintained throughout. T he essay
uses mostly correct, varied sentence structure and generally uses precise language
and domain-specif ic vocabulary in way that generally addresses the complexity of the
topic. T he essay may have some errors, but they do not interf ere with meaning.

DEVELOPING T he essay attempts to establish a f ormal style that may not be maintained
throughout. T he essay attempts to vary sentence structure and uses some precise
language that may be domain-specif ic at times in a way that may address the
complexity of the topic inconsistently. T he essay contains some errors that may, at
times, interf ere with meaning.

EMERGING T he essay does not establish and/or maintain a f ormal style. T he essay uses little
variety in sentence structure, and the language is general and not domain-specif ic.
T he essay contains errors that interf ere with meaning.