Organ System 1.

docx
by Cassandra Gonzalez

Submission date: 25-Feb-2019 09:42PM (UT C-0800)

Submission ID: 1083966742
File name: Organ_System_1.docx (310.62K)
Word count: 761
Character count: 4461
Two Successes: Clear writing at the sentence level. 2. Usually clear descriptions of these systems and their functions--good!
Two Challlenges: 1. Need to develop this further to be more informative. For instance, I've marked several areas where you
could further distinguish between related systems, add examples, etc. 2. Find peer reviewed research to add sophistication to
your definition and to provide graphics that you can cite and discuss to build your definition.

on what?
try using graphics that inform
readers about organ systems.

cit at ion add

good.
define organs

cit at ion add

try parenthetical defs to differentiate the three types.

very clear

good

comma (fragment)
find a way to distinguish between the respiratory and circulatory systems--they sound very similar in your
definition.
distinguish between this and endocrine
system, as both say hormones.

to where?

such as?

reverse the order

good
 cit at ion add

For instance, ...

Need peer reviewed sources.
Missing Definition strategies.
Organ System 1.docx
ORIGINALITY REPORT

4 %
SIMILARIT Y INDEX
4%
INT ERNET SOURCES
0%
PUBLICAT IONS
1%
ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
www1.umn.edu
Int ernet Source 2%
2
www.reference.com
Int ernet Source 1%
3
fixedincome.tk
Int ernet Source 1%

Exclude quotes On Exclude matches < 4 words

Exclude bibliography On
Organ System 1.docx
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

117
PAGE 1
/150

Text Comment. T wo Successes: Clear writing at the sentence level. 2. Usually clear
descriptions of these systems and their f unctions--good! T wo Challlenges: 1. Need to develop
this f urther to be more inf ormative. For instance, I've marked several areas where you could
f urther distinguish between related systems, add examples, etc. 2. Find peer reviewed research
to add sophistication to your def inition and to provide graphics that you can cite and discuss to
build your def inition.

Text Comment. on what?

Text Comment. try using graphics that inf orm readers about organ systems.

QM citation add
You need a citation here.

Text Comment. good.

Text Comment. def ine organs

QM citation add
You need a citation here.

PAGE 2

Text Comment. try parenthetical def s to dif f erentiate the three types.
 Text Comment. very clear

Text Comment. good

Text Comment. comma (f ragment)

PAGE 3

Text Comment. f ind a way to distinguish between the respiratory and circulatory systems-
-they sound very similar in your def inition.

Text Comment. distinguish between this and endocrine system, as both say hormones.

Text Comment. to where?

Text Comment. such as?

Text Comment. reverse the order

Text Comment. good

PAGE 4

QM citation add
You need a citation here.

Text Comment. For instance, ...

PAGE 5

Text Comment. Need peer reviewed sources.

PAGE 6

Text Comment. Missing Def inition strategies.

RUBRIC: 36 3 DEFINITION RUBRIC

RHET . FOCUS Prof icient

SLO #1: Write f ormally and inf ormally, in-class and out-of -class, f or a variety of audiences and purposes.

ABSENT OR BELOW Audience's needs are of ten not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and
BASIC language needs adjustment f or the audience. Purpose (to def ine or term or
concept)isn't clear or achieved.

DEVELOPING Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine or term or
concept) may be unclear at times, and it may not be achieved convincingly.

PROFICIENT Shows attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and ideas and using
audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine or term or concept) may be
implied, but it's clear and achieved.

ADVANCED Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine a term or
concept) is clear and achieved with style.

ET HIC RESRCH Developing

SLO #2: Using the appropriate major’s customary citation style, ethically cite and communicate inf ormation
f rom a variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ABSENT OR BELOW Omits or uses incorrectly quotation marks and/or MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style
BASIC (number system) parenthetical citations and works cited list. Many citation errors.
Does not cite f rom a variety of discipline-appropriate sources. May be over-reliant on
a single source.

DEVELOPING A f ew errors in quotation marks, MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)

parenthetical citations and works cited list. May cite superf icially f rom sources. May
be over-reliant on a single source.

PROFICIENT Correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)
parenthetical citations and works cited list. May have 1-2 citation errors. Cites f rom a
variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ADVANCED Consistently and correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style
(number system) in-text (parenthetical) and end-of -text (ref erence list) citations f or
all sources, whether quoted directly or paraphrased. Cites f rom a variety of discipline-
appropriate sources. Never over-reliant on a single source.

PERS/SUPPORT Developing
SLO #3: Compare, evaluate, synthesize, and communicate caref ully, objectively, and persuasively the
relative merits of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values.

ABSENT OR BELOW Fails to support claims with specif ic explanations, examples, etc.. Objectivity may be
BASIC lacking.
DEVELOPING Attempts to support claims with explanations, examples, etc., but specif icity and/or
objectivity may be lacking.

PROFICIENT Usually supports the def inition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specif ic
explanations, examples, etc.. Usually maintains objectivity.

ADVANCED Supports the def inition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specif ic explanations,
examples, etc.. Maintains objectivity.

ORGANIZ AT ION Advanced

SLO #4: Organize, f ocus, and communicate one’s thoughts clearly and ef f ectively to address a rhetorical
situation.

ABSENT OR BELOW Organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical partitioning;
BASIC topic sentences, headings, transitions) may be absent, unrelated to the prompt, or
illogically connected. Ps contain multiple topics or are disorganized.

DEVELOPING Organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical partitioning;

topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt, but may be vague, too broad,
or inconsistenly or illogically linked. Ps may not be unif ied.

PROFICIENT Clear organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical

partitioning; topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and
topics together adequately. Ps are usually unif ied.

ADVANCED Clear, specif ic organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical
partitioning; topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and
topics together logically and seamlessly. Paragraphs are unif ied.

LANG & DESIGN Advanced

SLO # 5: Recognize, evaluate, and employ the f eatures and contexts of language and design that express
and inf luence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural dif f erences.

ABSENT OR BELOW Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability. Language may
BASIC ref lect a gender or cultural bias or be too high or too low. Design may be
unconventional and inef f ective.

DEVELOPING Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors of ten impede readability or otherwise
distract f rom meaning. Style may be either too high or too low. Language may
occasionally suggest a gender or cultural bias. Design may be inconventional or
inef f ective.

PROFICIENT Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are f ew and do not distract f rom
meaning. Middle-level-style. Language respects gender and cultural dif f erences.
Design is conventional and ef f ective.

ADVANCED Outstanding control of language, with middle-level style, including ef f ective diction
and sentence variety. Language respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is
conventional and ef f ective.