Montero, Gizelle Karina D.C.

April 24, 2018

L-160524 Dom Placid

Challenged and Blessed

When I was in high school, I became so religious and spiritual. I pray the rosary every
day, go to church every Sunday and first Fridays, pray the angelus and other prayers as my daily
routine. When I went to college, I became different and stopped doing all those things. I guess
my school then taught me to criticize things up to the point that my beliefs were turned into
doubts.

I was still in college then, was 17 years old, I conceived and later gave birth 11 days after
my 18th birthday. The moment I knew I had him inside me; I got so mad at myself. I asked God
of all people, why me? Nobody knew of my pregnancy except me and the father of the child. I
had numerous suicide attempts back then. I always thought of killing myself to end the problem
and not to cause any disgrace to my family but I never thought of praying. I forgot God. Instead
of reaching out to Him, all I thought of is to how could I get out of that situation without ruining
my life, my dreams.

My parents knew of my pregnancy when I was about to give birth. It was the only time
they had knowledge that all this time I was carrying a child. It was then a home birth. No
anesthesia, no IVs. I cry myself to death not because of the pain but because I saw my mother
crying. She can’t look at me. She was so mad. I cried a lot because I was such a disappointment.

I got kicked out of the house. I lived with my uncle and aunt, with my child. My father
wouldn’t let me in. So I stayed there for 2 months until finally I did something as a condition for
my father to accept me again. But all of those times, my mother was there. She visited us a
number of times. She carried my child, brought me food, and bought my child’s needs.

As I read the exhortation, I thought about my mother. After all that I had been through,
she remained firm. She even scolded me for considering aborting my son. I knew what happened
to me was not acceptable. It was definitely wrong. But she accepted it all. Through her actions, I
can see how God loves my son, how He loves me.

My mother is one of God’s ways to show His gift of love and hope. So now, I, step by
step, am returning to my ways before I got so down. Also, law school taught me how again to be
holy. I pray not because I don’t want to get called in recitations for that night but because I offer
God everything I know, I can, and I do. I learned how to stay humble. I learned how to live and
share the graces I receive every day. I pray for my son, for my blockmates, and for my family. I
pray because I remember God helping me and blessing me every single second of my life. I pray
because I succeeded in overcoming challenges in life that I never thought I could ever conquer.

In today’s busy world, we tend to forget how to slow down even just for a bit and
appreciate what God had given us. Seldom will you see contented people. Frequent would you
see people taking advantage of another just to get pass them. This is the situation we have today.
A world full of atrocities, a world full of lies.

Pope Francis seeks to remind us all to instill in ourselves the holiness the world needs. I
am thankful because with all the people beside me – my family, friends, and the holy faithful, I
got to be reminded of how far I got consumed by this world already.

I remember when I confessed my sins to Dom Anselm. He reminded me how to compose

myself and not to let myself be consumed by all the negativities in this world. He reminded me
how to appreciate God’s blessings especially my son. For that and all, I really am grateful that I
have people beside me who can remind me to be closer to God and to bring holiness to all the
things that I do.

Now, I have to be that same instrument to convey to my son what God has for all of us. I
am blessed to have everybody in my life. At the same time, I have a task to do, that is, to bring
up my child the way he should be, the way God wanted. I should be more like my mom, who
never gave up on me. I should be like my friends who despite of hardships still bring hope and
joy. I should be like God’s present disciples to serve as a guide to a holy life. I should be all, for
everybody, for my son.