Casual Analysis .

pdf
by Kenneth Esquivel

Submission date: 18-Mar-2019 01:52PM (UT C-0700)

Submission ID: 1095546197
File name: Casual_Analysis_.pdf (104.5K)
Word count: 1722
Character count: 8969
 Awk.

2
 3

Weak T ransit ion

It alics
 4

Weak T ransit ion

 5

Weak T ransit ion

Concluding Evidence

6
Weak T ransit ion

(5)
Good
Hanging indent at ion
Casual Analysis .pdf
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

78
Kenneth,

T his is a great start. i think that you have clearly

done your research and that you have incorporated
it, f or the most part, in an ef f ective way. T hat said,

/100
there are times when you need to unpack your
evidence more clearly. In other words, you need to
explain how the evidence IS evidence. Furthermore,
you need to make sure that you transition f rom
paragraph to paragraph in a way that displays the
connection between topics. Finally, you need to try
to simplif y your language a bit. Academic writing is
of ten the bet when it's simple, clear, and concise. I
have highlighted a f ew places where this would be
benef icial. I look f orward to your next paper.

PAGE 1

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

Conf used You have used either an imprecise word or an incorrect word.

Prep. You may be using the wrong preposition.

Comment 1 | Unit y

Good, but try to make an overall claim about these things and why its important.

P/V You have used the passive voice in this sentence. You may want to revise it using the active
voice.

Comment 2 | SWE Conv

T ry to simplif y your language here.

PAGE 2

Comment 3 | St yle

I am not sure what you mean here.

Missing "," Review the rules f or using punctuation marks.

Prep. You may be using the wrong preposition.

Hyph. Review the rules f or using punctuation marks.

Hyph. Review the rules f or using punctuation marks.

QM Weak Transition | Organizat ion

Weak paragraph transition:
Although paragraphs are separate, individual steps of your paper, it is important to clearly
demonstrate a logical connection between them. Generally speaking, the way your paragraphs
relate to one another displays how sound your argument really is. A paragraph that begins with
"also" or "in addition" of f ers a weak transition f rom the previous point, even though it may
develop a highly interesting and related point.

Proof read T his part of the sentence contains an error or misspelling that makes your meaning
unclear.

QM Italics | Format

Italics

Additional Comment

Not quotes

Conf used You have used either an imprecise word or an incorrect word.

PAGE 3

Hyph. Review the rules f or using punctuation marks.

Comment 4 | Dev/Sup

Good

QM Weak Transition | Organizat ion

Weak paragraph transition:
 Although paragraphs are separate, individual steps of your paper, it is important to clearly
demonstrate a logical connection between them. Generally speaking, the way your paragraphs
relate to one another displays how sound your argument really is. A paragraph that begins with
"also" or "in addition" of f ers a weak transition f rom the previous point, even though it may
develop a highly interesting and related point.

Conf used You have used either an imprecise word or an incorrect word.

Sp. T his word is misspelled. Use a dictionary or spellchecker when you proof read your work.

Article Error You may need to use an article bef ore this word.

Missing "," Review the rules f or using punctuation marks.

PAGE 4

Comment 5 | Dev/Sup

I am not sure how this demonstrates that. Can you be more specif ic?

P/V You have used the passive voice in this sentence. You may want to revise it using the active
voice.

QM Weak Transition | Organizat ion

Weak paragraph transition:
Although paragraphs are separate, individual steps of your paper, it is important to clearly
demonstrate a logical connection between them. Generally speaking, the way your paragraphs
relate to one another displays how sound your argument really is. A paragraph that begins with
"also" or "in addition" of f ers a weak transition f rom the previous point, even though it may
develop a highly interesting and related point.

S/V T his subject and verb may not agree. Proof read the sentence to make sure the subject agrees
with the verb.

Missing "," Review the rules f or using punctuation marks.

Article Error You may need to remove this article.

Possessive

QM Concluding Evidence | Organizat ion

Don't conclude with evidence. Make sure that you take the time to explain why this evidence IS
evidence. Furthermore, af ter you explain the evidence, make sure that you take the time to
 connect this to your argument.

Comment 6 | SWE Conv

T ry to simplif y this claim a bit more, I am not sure what you mean here.

Dup. Did you mean to repeat this word?

PAGE 5

QM Weak Transition | Organizat ion

Weak paragraph transition:
Although paragraphs are separate, individual steps of your paper, it is important to clearly
demonstrate a logical connection between them. Generally speaking, the way your paragraphs
relate to one another displays how sound your argument really is. A paragraph that begins with
"also" or "in addition" of f ers a weak transition f rom the previous point, even though it may
develop a highly interesting and related point.

Text Comment. (5)

QM Good | Dev/Sup

Good

Missing "," Review the rules f or using punctuation marks.

Prep. You may be using the wrong preposition.

PAGE 6

P/V You have used the passive voice in this sentence. You may want to revise it using the active
voice.

PAGE 7

QM Hanging indentation | Format

T his needs to be hanging indentation

RUBRIC: WRITING ASSIGNMENT RUBRIC

UNIT Y Scale 4

SCALE 6 presents a cogent, thesis-driven analysis of or response to the text

SCALE 5 presents a thoughtf ul, thesis-centered analysis of or response to the text

SCALE 4 presents an appropriate, thesis-based analysis of or response to the text

SCALE 3 presents an inconsistent or illogical thesis-related analysis of or response to the text

which ref lects an incomplete understanding of the text or topic

SCALE 2 presents a simplistic, inappropriate, or incoherent thesis-tangential analysis of or

response to the text, one that may suggest some signif icant misunderstanding of the
text or the topic;

SCALE 1 presents an inadequate, thesis-irrelevant analysis of or response to the text,

ignoring the topic’s demands, unacceptable

DEV/SUP Scale 5

SCALE 6 elaborates that response with well-chosen examples and persuasive reasoning,
excellent

SCALE 5 elaborates that response with appropriate examples and logical reasoning

SCALE 4 elaborates that response with acceptable examples and sensible reasoning

SCALE 3 lacks elaboration with appropriate examples , lacking

SCALE 2 lacks elaboration with appropriate examples or elaborates with inappropriate

examples

SCALE 1 lacks any appropriate pattern of development; may be inappropriately brief ,

unacceptable

ORGANIZ AT ION Scale 4

SCALE 6 conf orms to an organizational pattern that f acilitates reader understanding, using
organizational patterns to demonstrate the relatedness of ideas and enhances the
power of the argument

SCALE 5 conf orms to an organizational pattern that f acilitates reader understanding, using
organizational patterns to convey the argument

SCALE 4 conf orms to an organizational pattern that f acilitates reader understanding, using
organizational patterns to illustrate the argument, f its

SCALE 3 deviates f rom an organizational pattern that f acilitates reader understanding, so that
organizational structures may detract f rom the argument
SCALE 2 lacks an organizational pattern which f acilitates reader understanding, lacking

SCALE 1 lacks any appropriate organizational pattern, unacceptable

ST YLE Scale 4

SCALE 6 displays a sophisticated style that ref lects aptly chosen words and rhetorically
ef f ective sentence variety

SCALE 5 displays a readable style that ref lects well-chosen words and ef f ective sentences

SCALE 4 displays a style that ref lects appropriate words and sentence variety

SCALE 3 displays a style that ref lects imprecise word choice and little sentence variety

SCALE 2 displays a style that ref lects at least one of the f ollowing: simplistic or inaccurate
word choice; monotonous or f ragmented sentence structure, inappropriate

SCALE 1 displays a style which creates a disconnect between sound and sense, one in which
language word choice and syntax obscure meaning, unacceptable

SWE CONV Scale 4

SCALE 6 exhibits mastery of the conventions of Standard Written English, masterf ul

SCALE 5 demonstrates competence in the conventions of Standard Written English,

competent

SCALE 4 observes conventions of Standard Written English, acceptable

SCALE 3 may deviate f rom the conventions of Standard Written English by displaying
occasional major errors in grammar and usage or f requent minor errors

SCALE 2 repeatedly deviates f rom the conventions of Standard Written English by displaying
many repeated errors in grammar and usage

SCALE 1 consistently deviates f rom the conventions of Standard Written English., displaying a
pervasive pattern of errors in word choice, sentence structure, grammar and usage,
unacceptable

FORMAT Scale 5

SCALE 6 exhibits mastery of the conventions of manuscript citation and f ormat. masterf ul

SCALE 5 demonstrates competence in the conventions of manuscript citation and f ormat.

competent

SCALE 4 observes conventions of manuscript citation and f ormat. acceptable

SCALE 3 may deviate f rom the conventions of manuscript citation manuscript citation and
f ormat.
SCALE 2 repeatedly deviates f rom the conventions of manuscript citation and f ormat.

SCALE 1 consistently deviates f rom the conventions of manuscript citation and f ormat.
unacceptable