A paper presented to Dr.

Christopher Maboloc,
Faculty of Philosophy Department
In partial fulfillment of the requirement for Philosophy of Morality
Presented by Maniell Dymna B. Dulay
BS in Chemistry
October 12, 2018

The first thesis statement elaborates on the difference of the three entities in a

romantic relationship: the self, the other, and the “we” pertaining to the couple. This is an

interesting perspective about two parties in a relationship having to exist as a separate and

whole being.

The reading on the book explains how the self and the other’s self is not

compromised in the relationship. In fact, in order to coexist, the distinction is necessary.

Conflict often stems from the insistence of the other to change the self, according to his

needs. In fact, in the words of Max Scheler, “Love itself, in the course of its own movement,

is what brings about the continuous emergence of ever-higher value in the [person] – just

as if it was streaming out from the [person] of [his] own accord, without any sort of exertion

(even wishing) on the part of the lover.”

It is then in my understanding that in order to fully enjoy the relationship, and

discover the “we,” it is necessary to express love in its most genuine form. That is, to love

the other with all that he is, including everything that you do not desire and the
 A paper presented to Dr. Christopher Maboloc,
Faculty of Philosophy Department
In partial fulfillment of the requirement for Philosophy of Morality
Presented by Maniell Dymna B. Dulay
BS in Chemistry
October 12, 2018

weaknesses. It should not bank on the occasion of being able to change the person, but

instead in rejoicing in each other’s differences. Love is not conditional.

The second thesis statement seems to stem from the reality of the modern world

today, where, we can easily get lost in the fairytale definition of love. More often than not,

we are stuck searching for the kind of love that escapes the darkness. Yet that is the

problem with love. It is not found, but experienced.

Lovers will face many torments and agony, and many falters at the slightest

discomfort. But this is due to the shaky foundations of the beginnings of the relationship.

Love is mistakenly taken as the kind that sees no fault. But in actual, as Karl Jasper would

put it, in love we discover that everything is more valuable. That would then include even

the ugly parts.

Love should not be the fairytale kind – blind and magical. One should not have to

yearn for it to take the cold away from the dark. It should instead be the tool to combat

such; to be the fire that illuminates the harsh reality of our lives. The truth is that this fire
 A paper presented to Dr. Christopher Maboloc,
Faculty of Philosophy Department
In partial fulfillment of the requirement for Philosophy of Morality
Presented by Maniell Dymna B. Dulay
BS in Chemistry
October 12, 2018

can be most definitely be found within. This might just be the closest we can be to

achieving wholesome happiness.

The third thesis statement is taken from the context of marriage. Love in the context

of matrimony is finding this feeling that lasts a lifetime. Michael Dy’s Phenomenology of

love expresses that “Love is a movement that does not change and in fact endures.”

Of course, it is not saying that the eternal union of man and woman is just a test of

endurance. “It is not about what becomes of you or the life that you desire.” Truly, the love

that endures, one would discover, is not how long you are able to tolerate the other. This

kind of love will be a feeling born out of habit. Ideally, the love that endures will have hope

of someday obtaining a self that ‘achieves the highest value compatible with its nature and

ideal vocation; or wherein it attains the ideal state of value intrinsic to its nature.’

The last thesis statement focuses on the strangeness of the phenomenon of love.

This strangeness may be founded in the assumption on the primitiveness and baselessness

of love (and because of that, it even seems offensive to put conceptual valuations to the

value of the objects we love). So perhaps it is in the best interest of all to not make use of
 A paper presented to Dr. Christopher Maboloc,
Faculty of Philosophy Department
In partial fulfillment of the requirement for Philosophy of Morality
Presented by Maniell Dymna B. Dulay
BS in Chemistry
October 12, 2018

merely words, to express the definition of love, but let actions do the speaking. Like how

the reading in the book concludes with a paragraph expressing how finite the time we

have is. The lack of control we have over our time is almost depressing. And so, in the

duration of our short lives, it is best not to be hung up on things we cannot define (and

ergo, ‘control’), but we should take over our own lives, and make sense of this finite time

to love fully and freely. Because despite all of these definitions, the best way to love is still

TO LOVE.