From Conflict to Harmony:

MSND
by Zach Goldsmith

Submission date: 12-Apr-2019 09:54AM (UT C-0400)

Submission ID: 1111144118
File name: MSND_Paper.docx (42.14K)
Word count: 1039
Character count: 5439
 ✔︀

Like The Bachelor, AMSND has...

Pronoun Agreement
✔︀

(that must be resolved for them to be happy ?)

In your TS you can probably reference T and H specifically

slowly

explain a bit
Gerund
more how this
shows that (that
it's the opposite
of what Theseus
says)
✔︀

5
^
 Good Int egrat ion

This latter part

feels more like a
recounting of
their
conversation

I think this demonstrates that there is still something missing from your thesis. In other words it has
its challenges and there is a result because of that. That wasn't clear from just reading your thesis,
but with your different arguments is more apparent.
✔︀

knows

before Lysander would leave her.

Good Int egrat ion

, making fun of her height.

¶ ^

Missing ","

So what exactly is the conflict here?

 accuses Lysander of "bewitch[ing] the bosom of [Hermia]

12

Good Int egrat ion

Good quot es

Past /Present Progressive

T ense

Continue with this idea vs going back to the same idea of you've been repeating in your paper.
From Conflict to Harmony: MSND
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

/0 Instructor

Z ach: most of my comments are in the paper itself !

PAGE 1

QM ✔︀
Nice work here.

Text Comment. Like T he Bachelor, AMSND has...

Strikethrough.

QM Pronoun Agreement
Make sure that if you use a pronoun to replace a noun, that it agrees with the noun (ie singular
or plural)

Ex: T he women ran the marathon, and she won. --> T he women ran the marathon, and they
won. OR T he woman ran the marathon, and she won.

Ex: One has to do what they want. --> One has to do what one wants. OR T hey have to do
what they want.

Additional Comment

be caref ul of the agreement between pair (singular when preceded by march here) and their

QM ✔︀
Nice work here.

Text Comment. (that must be resolved f or them to be happy ?)

Text Comment. In your T S you can probably ref erence T and H specif ically

Strikethrough.

Text Comment. slowly

 Text Comment. explain a bit more how this shows that (that it's the opposite of what
T heseus says)

Strikethrough.

QM Gerund
A gerund is a verbal that ends in -ing and f unctions as a noun. T he term verbal indicates that a
gerund, like the other two kinds of verbals, is based on a verb and theref ore expresses action
or a state of being. However, since a gerund f unctions as a noun, it occupies some positions in
a sentence that a noun ordinarily would, f or example: subject, direct object, subject complement,
and object of preposition.
Be careful of using gerunds at the beginning of sentences, as it can affect phrasing at
the end of the sentences if not used correctly.

QM ✔︀
Nice work here.

Comment 4
I'm not sure how much this adds to the argument you are making

Comment 5
I'm not sure what you mean by this

QM ^
Insert word:

Additional Comment

over a changeling boy (and then delete second sentence)

PAGE 2

QM Good Integration
Great, f luid integration

Text Comment. T his latter part f eels more like a recounting of their conversation

Comment 6
Isn't the relationships the same as Hippogrif f s and Oberon, though, in relation to the rules of a
certain "realm"?

I actually think this would be an ef f ective way to transition f rom the f irst paragraph into this one
 because it shows the connection between the two.

Text Comment. I think this demonstrates that there is still something missing f rom your
thesis. In other words it has its challenges and there is a result because of that. T hat wasn't
clear f rom just reading your thesis, but with your dif f erent arguments is more apparent.

QM ✔︀
Nice work here.

Text Comment. knows

Strikethrough.

Text Comment. bef ore Lysander would leave her.

QM Good Integration
Great, f luid integration

Text Comment. , making f un of her height.

Strikethrough.

QM ¶
New paragraph:
When a paragraph gets too long your reasoning may appear jumbled and conf used. Paragraphs
are the steps that allow your reader to make progress through your paper. Without enough
steps, the argument becomes dif f icult to f ollow. Usually there are subtle shif ts of emphasis
within a long paragraph that can become a paragraph break. T ry to f igure out what your
paragraph's main point is so that your reader doesn't have to.

QM ^
Insert word:

Additional Comment

even

QM Missing ","
Missing comma:
T hough it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can of ten help to prevent a
misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that
is logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your
reader to place a comma af ter that introductory element. Such phrases will of ten begin with
words like "because," "while" or "although," as in the f ollowing example: "While everyone was
f ighting, the bear wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be
 conf using.

Text Comment. So what exactly is the conf lict here?

Strikethrough.

PAGE 3

Text Comment. accuses Lysander of "bewitch[ing] the bosom of [Hermia]

Strikethrough.

Strikethrough.

Comment 12
I'm not sure this sis necessary, since Puck's alternation of their love is really dif f erent that that
of Egeus.

QM Good Integration
Great, f luid integration

QM Good quotes
Good use of quotes that help support your argument.

QM Past/Present Progressive
to be + present participle

ex: was showing--> showed, is showing --> shows

QM Tense
Use present tense

Strikethrough.

Text Comment. Continue with this idea vs going back to the same idea of you've been
repeating in your paper.

PAGE 4

Missing "," You may need to place a comma af ter this word.