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Afternoon, at café, sipping my espresso, while the stares of people differed between

who felt pity for the guy sitting alone, and who felt bizarreness of the motionless alien staring
at the tree. My body was present but my mind is always out of this world. Well why would it
be in it? Ever since I was conscious about this big wet rock I live in, I’ve always felt a dephasing
between how I think and how other homosapiens think. I tried, I really tried to understand norms
of society, to understand human behavior, but for me it has always been like explaining colors
to a blind person.
I always thought what stopped me is my rational perspective to things, as my friend puts
it “More pragmatic than the pragmatics”, rationality in life has always been one of my principles
in life, or I thought so until the love arrow struck my heart.
Thinking about the past, thinking about the time I was just trying to learn some Spanish,
saying a plain ‘Salut’ to everyone in my list, until I spoke to her, oh her… as we talked more
and more I felt like I’m a piece of a puzzle, and finally found my matching piece, it just
clicked…
As we got to know each other more and more, I found myself without a warning waiting
for her next text as if I’m standing on burning coal, missing her each time, seeing her beautiful
face, her caramel colored skin, her smile, her eyes, I was just lost. I had to be realistic and face
myself, I fell in love with her. Love… this weird spirit that possessed my body, that made me
rebel against my nature. If I had met myself before I met her, how would I explain to him the
peace and happiness that she brings me…The joy I feel whenever I see her angel carved face,
whenever she laughs making feel the true meaning of the song ‘La vie en rose’…How would I
explain to him that she’s like an April sun that enlights my life making all other stars invisible
…That she made me feel what “Home” really means, making me hate all the borders and
nationalities, wanting to risk my life in the Atlantic, if I had to, Just for a kiss on her savory
lips, or one moment to have her in my arms and feel her silk hair, to feel a crazy feeling that
will make our bodies be one, breath the same air she breathes, making our souls to be in a
nirvana dancing, and then fall down to earth tired, exhausted, happy, and our hands welded
together, feeling something I have not yet found words to express it.
I have never felt happier to lose a principle, to finally feel like an irrational human,
finding out that there is something inexpressible by a math formula, or by logic, something that
makes me wanting her happiness before mine, something that refuses to leave even when I was
hurt, something that I am willing to enjoy without understanding