The Problem with Happiness

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/curious/201009/the-problem-happiness

Asked what is the fundamental objective of life, the vast majority of people answer quickly and
definitively- happiness. Their lives are organized around trying to be happy. Sounds good, right?
Sounds even better when you read about the scientific benefits linked to happiness.Compared to less
happy people...

Happy people have stronger, more intimate friendships.

Happy people are more likely to be in satisfying romantic relationships.

Happy people have better immunological functioning. Stab a happy person with an intravenous
needle containing an infectious virus (if thats the type of person you are) and they are less likely to
get sick.

Happy people sleep better.

Happy people are more creative.

Happy people spend more time helping other people (altruism, generosity).

Happy people are viewed positively by other people whether it is likability, social skills, intelligence,
physical attractiveness, confidence, or samurai swordsmanship.

Happy people extract more pleasure and meaning when working, socializing, or playing.

These findings are from cross-sectional, experimental, observational, longitudinal and experience-
sampling studies. Thus, we can be confident that the findings are not flukes. And yes, many of these
relationships go both ways. For instance, the quantity and quality of sleep affects our happiness and
loneliness sucks the marrow out of living. But for now, lets just focus on a central point. Happiness is
not just a sign that things are going well, the experience of happiness helps produce positive
outcomes.

But there is a not-so-hidden problem. The United States is obsessed with happiness (same goes for a
number of other countries in the world). There are cultural pressures to be happy. Go on
amazon.com and look at how many books have happiness in the title. Go on google and plug in
"happiness coaching." Look at how many people are waiting by their phone for you to cough up cash
to learn to be happier. There are even university degrees that can teach you to teach people to be
happier (for only $40,000+ per year)! (Note: there is more money to be made training trainers than
being a happiness trainer). Has anyone considered what this pressure to be happy does to people?

Thankfully, a few scientists started to study this phenomena. What they found is that as people place
more importance on being happy, they become more unhappy and depressed. The pressure to be
happy makes people less happy. Organizing your life around trying to become happier, making
happiness the primary objective of life, gets in the way of actually becoming happy.
In one study, people were asked a number of questions about how much they value happiness and
how much they believe it is important to work toward being happy. When in the midst of great
stress, people were generally unhappy. For everyone else, the greater emphasis put on happiness,
the least successful they were at obtaining it. It didn't matter how happiness was defined. People
putting the greatest emphasis on being happy reported 50% less frequent positive emotions, 35%
less satisfaction about their life, and 75% more depressive symptoms than people that had their
priorities elsewhere. And in case, you are shaking your head at this narrow definition of happiness,
take note that people that valued happiness the most also reported ~15% less psychological well-
being. Psychological well-being is a smorgasbord of what is good in life including self-esteem, positive
relations with other people, meaning and purpose in life, a sense of autonomy, and a sense of
competence in tackling life's challenges. In sum, the more you value happiness, try to be happy,
organize your life around trying to become happy, the less happy you end up.

But don't trust a single study. Consider a second study where people read a fake newspaper article
about the value of happiness. The fake article emphasized the science of happiness. Very similar to
the benefits I extolled earlier. Science shows that people achieving the greatest amount of happiness
can experience long-term benefits in their relationships, professional success, and overall health and
well-being.

Half of the people in the study read this fake article on the "science of happiness" and the other half
read the same article except terms related to happiness were replaced with "making accurate
judgments." When pushed to view happiness as fundamentally important, something of profound
value, how does this affect one's ability to be happy? The researchers tested this by asking people to
watch a funny movie clip after reading the newspaper. When given information about the benefits
of being happy, people enjoyed the movie less. That is, people primed to value happiness became
less (not more) appreciative of positive events in their immediate environment.

The pressure to be happy is everywhere. Well-meaning scientists, writers, therapists, consultants,

and media personalities ramp up the importance of being happy and thus, the value of being a happy
person. Often it is implicit, not explicit.

Perhaps this research provides insight on why nobody buys just one happiness book. Perhaps this
research provides insight on why the number of people on psychotropic medication continues to
skyrocket. Perhaps this research can help us reconsider what we are living for.

Think about what you want written on your tombstone.

Here lies Todd Kashdan, a man who put every ounce of effort into being a happy person.

Here lies Todd Kashdan, a man who strived to be a good friend, a good husband, a good father, while
trying to make the world a slightly better place.

I choose the latter. Be in the present moment, be open and curious, and devote your life to what
matters. Do this and you are liable to catch happiness along the way (or you might not). There are
better things to live for than the pursuit of a perfect mix of thoughts and feelings inside our brain.
For more about the research in this article, check out:

Mauss, I. B., Tamir, M., Anderson, C. L., & Savino, N. S. (in press). Can seeking happiness make people
unhappy? Paradoxical effects of valuing happiness. Emotion

and if you need more convincing, here's another study:

For greater in-depth treatment on this topic, see chapter 6 by Drs. Maya Tamir and James Gross in
my upcoming book: Designing the Future of Positive Psychology.

Dr. Todd B. Kashdan is a clinical psychologist and professor of psychology at George Mason
University. For more about his talks and workshops, books, and research go to
www.toddkashdan.com or the Laboratory for the Study of Social Anxiety, Character Strengths, and
Related Phenomena