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Name: Zixuan Jiang

Professor: Marie Webb

Ling 12 (5p.m.)

April 26, 2019

Growing like a Wintersweet

The definition of success to me is always how much you love the thing you are

doing just like an old Chinese saying, “knowing a thing is not as good as liking it,

while enjoying it ranks the best.”

–Zixuan Jiang
If I must use one word to describe my childhood, I would choose “sweet.” In my memory,

my home was always full of fragrance of the four seasons. When I was a little girl, I lived with

my grandparents in a small city because my parents were too busy to raise me. I had never seen

my parents’ home until I moved to live with them after my mother resigned. I can still

remember the first day I opened the door amd I smelt a strong, sweet scent. I was shocked by

the scene in front of me. Different kinds of fancy flowers made this place like a forest. There

was a sound in my head, “A door of the new world opens.” I believe that was the moment my

passion for biology was ignited.

My mother is a fan of horticulture. After resigning, she spent most of time on taking care

of me and her plants. She once said to me, “these plants are also her kids.” I could not

understand what she meant at that time since I could not call a plant brother or sister because

it is not a human. Unlike some other parents, my mother never forced me to study. She was

patient and had a good temper even when I drew a large picture on the white wall in my home.

Though she gave me a lot of freedom, I was not sure whether she would let me touch her plants
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since the only thing I was forbidden to do is to damage her plants. “Mom, can I have my own

flowers,” I said with a flattering smiling face and great courage when I was in grade 2. To my

surprise, she gave me two seeds without any doubt whether I had the ability to grow them. The

first plant I grew in my life was Wintersweet. It was easy to start with it because it only needs

to be watered a few times a month. When the winter came, all the house was the sweet fragrance

of my flowers. At the weekend, I liked to just sit in front of my Wintersweet to observe it for

hours. I was familiar with all the patterns of the limbs and I knew how many flowers are on the

limbs of the Wintersweet. Gradually, I understood why my mother viewed plants as a living

thing. It was impossible to use eyes to find out the process of growth. However, when I really

spent time to convey my emotions to them by keeping hoping them can grow well, I could feel

the vitality of them. The plants, like children, were yearning for growing up. My interests in

biology also started to grow with my Wintersweet at that time.

When I was in high school, I met one of the biggest problems in my life. I had a

disagreement about my future major in college with my teachers. My best subject in high

school was mathematics instead of biology. It was obviously easier to apply for math major

because of my awards in the competition of math. As a result, all my teachers told me that I

should choose mathematics in order to get in a better university. I also knew my advantage in

mathematics. However, doing well does not mean I love learning mathematics. I do not want

to work in a math world forever. My parents would not interfere my choice. But my math

teacher hoped me to major in math. In the end of my high school, she said carefully to me,

“you are wasting your life in biology.” I knew she cared about me and she is a good person,

but she unconsciously used her words to hurt me. That day, I compromised to the reality. Maybe
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I did not want my teachers to be disappointed; maybe I also wanted to get in a better college;

maybe I just did not love biology anymore.

Just like what all of us expected, I received many offers. Finally, I chose to come to UC,

Santa Barbara. Unlike in the high school, where I must study all the subjects, I used to study

mathematics all day long after entering the university. I had many friends who are also majoring

in mathematics here and I got good grade. When I saw my friends talking about math problems

passionately, I remembered what I felt when I opened the door 12 years ago. I realized I was

not happy with what I was doing. Last winter quarter, the room of my vector calculus course

was at Life Science Building. I did not have the courage to walk in and visit that place because

of the name of building. It made me remember how I gave up my dreams in high school. I

could not face the feeling of shame. That winter, I finally decided to satisfy my curiosity after

the final exam of my math course. On the back of the building, there were three transparent

green houses. Each one was full of green plants. Sunlight refracted through the top of the green

house. Flowers drained the precious light voraciously like a competition. This scene was so

familiar to me because my Wintersweet used to grow like that. The cold wind flapped on my

face. But there was a hot current flowing in my body. That day, and at that moment, I knew I

destine to have some relationships with biology in my life.

Although I decided to learn biology, I had so many questions about changing my major.

Can I do well in biology without learning the knowledge about it for one year? Will I fall behind

and cannot catch up with the progress in class? There were so many uncertain factors, and I

hesitated. Therefore, I called my mother, who is my supporter and mentor, at that time.

She asked me first, “Do you enjoy learning mathematics?”

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I thought carefully for a while and said, “I like it but I do not love it.”

Then, she told me, “Do not be afraid of failure before you try. Youth is an expedition. Just

do the things you love because a meaningful life is not what you have achieved, but how you

feel about your experience. Try, or otherwise regret.”

After the call, I had an answer. A week later, I came to the department of biology which

located at the third floor of Life Science Building. I checked the double major form and signed

my name on it without any hesitation at this time. I did not give up my math major either

because it can help me to lay a solid foundation in calculations, which may be helpful to me

when I deal with data in laboratory. Although I chose the most difficult way to achieve my goal,

I am enjoying with what I am striving for now.

After encountering and solving all the difficulties on the road to my dream, I finally got

into the right path. The door of the new world truly opens now. Wintersweet only blooms in

winter. Without the test of tough temperature, it will never expire sweet fragrance. I believe my

Wintersweet will finally grow into a vibrant tree since I already gave the fertilizer to the

Winterflower I planted 12 years ago. Life is long with a lot of crossroads, but sometimes you

do not have to choose the path straight towards the success. Every path has its own special and

beautiful landscapes. Following your heart when you meet choices, and your interests will lead

you to the right way in the end.