Lookin’ for Love in All the Right Places

I John 4:7 - 21

In this is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us
and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins.
(I John 4:10)

We’re rounding that spiral staircase back to the topic of love. Love is a major theme of I John. In fact, you can
say it is THE theme with the other topics interconnected to the idea of love.

What is love? That’s a question asked by a wide variety of people - theologians, philosophers, poets,
songwriters, dreamy-eyed teenagers, abused spouses, abandoned children. Lot’s of people asking, and lot’s of
very different answers. Some are very cynical. The familiar folk song "Lemon Tree" has a father giving his son
this advice: "Don't put your faith in love, my boy.... I fear you'll find that love is like the lovely lemon tree... very
pretty, and the lemon flower is sweet, but the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat." In short, dream about
love, sing about it, write about it--but avoid it, for it does not bring hope and joy, only hopelessness and
bitterness.

Someone once said (I’m not sure if it was Mark Twain or Groucho Marx) “Everybody talks about the weather,
but nobody does anything about it.“ You could say the same thing about love. We talk a lot about it, but we’re
not always so good at doing it. In our culture, we completely misunderstand the whole concept of love. We’ve
made it an emotional response. We don’t think we can pull off loving someone without feeling those butterflies
in our stomachs. We show love only when we feel it.

Maybe, our problem is that we really don’t understand much about love? Maybe we need to go back to the
source and find out where love comes from, in the first place. Last week, I asked the question: “Who is your
authority?” When it comes to love, who’s your authority? Where do you get your viewpoint about love? … from
the movies such as ’When Harry Met Sally?’ -answers the sexual politics question, "Can two friends sleep
together and still love each other in the morning?" … or maybe from popular music “Every Breath You Take”
that asks the musical question “Can a self-absorbed stalker find love before he gets slapped with a restraining
order?”

I. Where Does Love Come From? (7-12)

Go out on the street corner and take a poll- ask “where does love come from?” You’ll probably get some funny
looks. What kind of question is that? You love some people and not others. That’s what people do. My love
come from my heart. It’s just a strange question to ask. One reason why people have such a fuzzy definition of
love is because they’ve never asked the question: Where does love come from?

A. God Is Love
‘God is love’ what an awesome statement! Not ‘God is loving’, ’God is the greatest lover’ or even ‘God is the
essence of love’ But ‘God IS love’ That’s a surprising statement to me. Is there a person in your life that
your mind goes to when you think of love? Your spouse, or a parent, maybe? My Mom loved me. Her kids
were her life. She sacrificed herself throughout her whole life for us. Mom was loving. Mom was a good
example of love. But, it’s something else to say that Mom is love.
But, God is love. So, when we look for the best definition of love, ultimately, we have to say ‘God.’ He not
only is the source of all love, He’s is the definition. Does that make sense? No wonder the world is so
confused about love… they’re confused about God. So, they end up with a lesser view of love. Romantic
love, love of friends, family love - these are all forms of love that the world can get a grip on to some extent.
But, this agape love, God-love, isn’t human.

So, if God is love and is the source of all love, am I saying that non-Christians are incapable of love? No.
But, remember that man was created in God’s image. Sin has distorted and corroded that image, but it is
still there. God is love and love comes from God. Love doesn’t exist unless it flows from God. No one could
ever display any form of love if it weren’t for the source. “All good gifts come from above” and that is
especially true of love.

That truth should really shape our thoughts about love. If God is the source, then I must understand Him to
understand love in my relationships. Any concept of love that doesn’t fit God’s character shouldn’t be a part
of my thinking. I don’t want to love the way the world loves. I want a God kind of love.

What are some aspects of the way people think about love that may be inconsistent with God’s character?

B. God’s Love Revealed

1. In Christ. What does God kind of love look like? What makes it different? When it comes to the doing,
abstract ideas and definitions aren’t enough. We need to see it. We need a concrete example. Do you
want to know what God kind of love looks like? Look at Jesus. The Father loved the world so much, He
was willing to send His one and only son. Jesus laid down all that it meant to be God and gave his life for
us. That’s love!

It’s been said time and time again. It’s nothing new: Jesus is our perfect example of love. He is our living
definition of love. Do you want to know how to love others the way that God wants you to? Love them like
Jesus did. He loved us first (He took the initiative even though we didn’t deserve it.) He loved us
selflessly (no matter the costs.) He loved us unconditionally (not withholding his love until we deserve it.)
That’s what God-love looks like.

You might ask ‘why? What was his purpose? ’ John tells us about God’s purpose: “He sent His one and
only son so that we might live through him.” What can we learn from that? When love is the undertaking,
life is the result. Our goal in loving others should be to bring people to life. The world’s concept of love is
usually based on making me feel good. God-love is about seeking the best for others.

2. In Us. “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we ought to love one another.” If God is love and God
lives within us, obviously, love should be the hallmark of our lives. It’s unimaginable to say ‘I’m a
Christian, but I really don’t love people.’

“No one has ever seen God. But, if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in
us.” God is spirit; he’s invisible. The world can’t see him. Do you want your family, friends, and
neighbors to get a glimpse of God? Love them. That’s the only way they’ll ever see him. When you take
the initiative and show them a selfless, God kind of love whether or not they deserve it; when they see
that your only goal is to make their life better, you’re showing them something they aren’t going to see
any other way. You’re showing them God.

In doing this, the circle is complete. God is love - God has shown his love to us - God lives in us - God is
revealed through us. I don’t think I’ve ever looked at it this way: when I fail to show love to others, I ‘short-
circuit’ the process. God’s love is only complete when it flows through me.
II. Love’s Testimony (13-21)
Love is a verb, it’s a decision, it’s a way of life… and it’s a testimony, a message. Love speaks to the world and
it speaks to our hearts. The message is convicting as well as comforting. It gives assurance and confidence.

A. Outwardly
God sent his son to be the savior of the world. That message is for everyone. It’s a message of love and
hope for all. It’s the message that we proclaim. It’s a message to be received and believed… and when that
happens, the believer is eternally united with God.

B. Inwardly
When a person accepts that message, love isn’t finished speaking. God’s love speaks to their hearts to let
them know that they are loved and accepted.

1. Assurance It’s unfortunate that so many Christians are struggling with the question of whether or not
they really are children of God. For whatever reason, they worry and fret over their salvation. That’s not
what God wants for them. He wants us all to have clear conviction and assurance that we belong to him.
Throughout I John, we read the phrase “for we know” or “this is how we know” It’s not a guessing game.
God isn’t playing hide & seek with us. We can know, we can be assured. He has given you his Holy Spirit
to testify to your heart that you are his.

The assurance is there, if you’ll accept it. All that Jesus is and does testifies to and manifests God's love.
The qualifications aren’t demanding. “If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the son of God, God lives in
him and he in God.” Not just mental assent, but if your life reflects that truth, you can be assured that
God is in you.

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.” The cynical songwriter who counseled, "Don't put
your faith in love" really meant "don't put your faith in people." But John writes that we can trust God's
love, because we can trust God. It’s true that our faith is only as good as it’s object. We can rely on God.
Christians can count on the steadfastness of God's love, because they have experienced it in God's
faithfulness to them. They can rely on God.

2. Confidence With that assurance comes confidence. Most people live in fear of death and judgment.
It’s terrifying to think that life is so short and someday we’ll stand before a holy God and give account for
everything that we’ve said, done, and thought. How can anyone be confident at that point?

If you‘re counting on your own righteousness, you can‘t. But you can be confident if you rely on Jesus‘
atoning sacrifice. “Because in this world we are like him.” Not that we are righteous like him, but we have
HIS righteousness. But, imitating him and showing his kind of love to others gives us the confidence that
we are in him and so we are safe from judgment.

What is the opposite of love? You might think that it's hate. Some have said that it's, in fact apathy. I think
John is telling us that the opposite of love is fear. Love and fear are polar opposites. Perfect love drives
out fear.

Unfortunately, sometimes our earthly relationships have an element of fear. When I was a kid, sometimes
I’d hear “wait until your father gets home.” But, God-love is far removed from any element of fear.
Christians don’t serve God out of fear and they have no reason to fear him at the judgment. John says
Fear has to do with punishment And our punishment has been dealt with on the cross. That’s the kind of
love we enjoy… and that’s the kind of love we should display.
So when you watch a love story or hear a silly love song, keep in mind that perfect God kind of love.
Remember that’s the definition (in fact, HE’s the definition) of love. Keep in mind that it’s how we show
love to others that enables the world to see God. Let’s make a conscious effort to let them see God in us.