What is sexual orientation?

Sexual orientation refers to sexual and romantic feelings for people of the same gender, a
different gender, or more than one gender. People who identify their sexual orientation
as “straight” or “heterosexual” typically feel attracted to people of a different gender than
themselves. People who identify as “lesbian” or “gay” typically feel attracted to people of the
same gender as themselves. People who identify as “bisexual” typically feel attracted to more
than one gender, such as being attracted to both women and men. “Pansexual” is a term
used by people who feel attracted to more than one gender and feel that other terms don’t
include people who are transgender and gender nonconforming (people who have a gender
identity or gender expression that doesn’t match their sex assigned at birth). People who use
the term “queer” may use it to mean lesbian, gay, bisexual, or pansexual, or they may use it
because other terms don’t quite describe their experiences.

Some people might identify their sexual orientation one way, but experience attractions that
don’t match the label they are using. For example, a person might identify as “straight,” but
feel attracted to people of the same gender or more than one gender and sometimes act on
those attractions. Sexual orientation can also change over time for some people. For
example, a person might be attracted only to people of the same gender as themselves, and
then later be attracted to more than one gender. This is normal! It just means that sexual
orientation is complicated for some people.

How do I know my sexual orientation?

People usually know their sexual orientation based on how they feel romantically or sexually
toward other people over time. For example, people who have repeated crushes and/or
pleasurable body experiences with people of the same gender as themselves, but have no
crushes or pleasurable experiences with people of a different gender than themselves may
identify themselves as “gay” or “lesbian” at some point. However, having one or even a few
romantic or sexual experiences with someone of the same gender does not automatically
make you lesbian, gay, or bisexual. Sometimes it takes a long time to understand our sexual
and romantic feelings and how our bodies react to other people.

When will I know my sexual orientation?

There is no official time when people know their sexual orientation. For some people,
adolescence is the time when they figure out their sexual orientation, but for other people it
may not happen until young adulthood or even later in life. During adolescence, our brains
start to release certain hormones that help our bodies go through puberty and change. This
happens over many years. At the same time, we may start developing crushes towards other
people, which may lead to having pleasurable sexual experiences. For some people, this
gives them a clue about who they might have sexual and romantic feelings towards, and what
their sexual orientation might be.

Is it OK to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or queer?

Yes! Although some religions and cultures may have traditional beliefs that these types of
feelings shouldn’t be expressed as behaviors, current medical, psychological, and psychiatric
organizations believe that being lesbian, gay, bisexual, or queer (LGBQ) is normal. Many
LGBQ people are able to keep their religious values and cultural identity, yet feel comfortable
expressing their sexuality. There are also many people in religious communities who are
accepting of people of all sexual orientations.

What is gender identity?

Gender identity is a person’s internal feelings of being a woman, man, both, or neither. Most
people have a gender identity and/or gender expression (how a person shows their gender
through their appearance or behavior) that matches their sex assigned at birth. However,
some people have a gender identity or gender expression that is different from their sex
assigned at birth; these people might use the term “transgender” or “gender noncomforming”
to describe their gender identity.

How do people express their gender identity?

Gender can be expressed in many ways: through our clothes, speech, activities, hobbies, and
our behaviors. It’s ok for any of these things to change at different times, or in different
situations, depending on what feels comfortable.

What’s the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation?

Many people confuse the two, but here is a simple way to understand the difference: gender
identity is more about “who you are” (boy, girl, both, or neither) and sexual orientation is about
“who you have a crush on.”

What do “transgender” and “gender nonconforming” mean?

Transgender and gender nonconforming people have a gender identity (feelings about which
gender they are) and/or gender expression (how they show their gender through appearance
and behavior) that don’t match the sex they were assigned at birth (female or male). For
example, a transgender person who is assigned female at birth may feel like a boy, or a
transgender person who is assigned male at birth may feel like a girl. Transgender people
often desire to go through medical procedures to help change their body to better match their
gender. However, some people express their gender through their appearance and/or
behavior, without changing their body.

What does “gender queer” mean?

Genderqueer is a term used by people who don’t feel comfortable calling themselves a boy or
a girl. They may feel like both a boy and a girl, or like neither gender. Other labels that people
use are “gender nonconforming” or “agender.” Some people who feel this way do not like to
use male (he/him) or female (she/her) pronouns, and instead use pronouns such as
they/their.

Is it ok to be transgender?
Absolutely! As with LGBQ people, some people with traditional beliefs may be uncomfortable
with people who express these feelings, but professional medical, psychological, and
psychiatric organizations agree that it is better to express who you are, even if it makes other
people a little uncomfortable.

Can I be both transgender and LGBQ? What about transgender and straight?
Yes and yes. Being transgender is about gender identity, not sexual orientation. Everyone
has a sexual orientation, regardless of what their gender identity is. Transgender people may
be attracted to people of the same gender based on their own gender identity, attracted to
people of a different gender based on their own gender identity, or they may be attracted to
more than one gender.

What are homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia?

Homophobia is a term that describes negative feelings and attitudes toward people who are
attracted to people of the same gender (e.g., lesbian or gay), and biphobia is a term that
describes negative feelings and attitudes toward people who are attracted to more than one
gender (e.g. bisexual or pansexual). Transphobia is a similar term that describes negative
feelings and attitudes towards transgender and gender nonconforming people.

What are some examples of homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia?

Negative feelings and attitudes about lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer
(LGBTQ) people can be shown in different ways. Some ways are obvious and intentional; for
example, direct insults, threats, bullying, physical harm or violence, and discrimination. Some
ways are less obvious. Examples of these hidden forms of homophobia, biphobia, or
transphobia include people who aren’t comfortable around LGBTQ people; the use of
slurs/words in an unintentional way; and avoiding discussions about LGBTQ issues due to
feeling uncomfortable. All types of homophobic, biphobic, and transphobic attitudes and
behaviors can be hurtful and sometimes dangerous to LGBTQ people.

Why do homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia exist?

There is no easy answer to this question! The best way to understand it is to realize that
minority groups have always made mainstream culture feel uncomfortable. Other minorities
such as racial/ethnic groups are also discriminated against. Even though being LGBTQ is
common, these groups are still minorities. The good news is that people are becoming more
comfortable with these issues, and hopefully homophobic, biphobic, and transphobic
behaviors will become less common in the future.
Sexual identity is how one thinks of oneself in terms of to whom one
is romantically or sexually attracted.[1] Sexual identitymay also refer to sexual orientation identity, which is
when people identify or dis-identify with a sexual orientation or choose not to identify with a sexual
orientation.[2] Sexual identity and sexual behavior are closely related to sexual orientation, but they are
distinguished,[1] with identity referring to an individual's conception of themselves, behavior referring to actual
sexual acts performed by the individual, and sexual orientation referring to romantic or sexual attractions
toward persons of the opposite sex or gender, the same sex or gender, to both sexes or more than one
gender, or to no one.
Historical models of sexual identity have tended to view its formation as a process undergone only by sexual
minorities, while more contemporary models view the process as far more universal and attempt to present
sexual identity within the larger scope of other major identity theories and processes.[3]

Definitions and identity[edit]

Sexual identity has been described as a component of an individual's identity that reflects their sexual self-concept. The
integration of the respective identity components (e.g. moral, religious, ethnic, occupational) into a greater overall
identity is essential to the process of developing the multi-dimensional construct of identity.[4]
Sexual identity can change throughout an individual's life, and may or may not align with biological sex, sexual behavior
or actual sexual orientation.[5][6][7] In a 1990 study by the Social Organization of Sexuality, only 16% of women and 36% of
men who reported some level of same-sex attraction had a homosexual or bisexual identity.[8]
Sexual identity is more closely related to sexual behavior than sexual orientation is. The same survey found that 96% of
women and 87% of men with a homosexual or bisexual identity had engaged in sexual activity with someone of the
same sex, contrasted to 32% of women and 43% of men who had same-sex attractions. Upon reviewing the results, the
organization commented: "Development of self-identification as homosexual or gay is a psychological and socially
complex state, something which, in this society, is achieved only over time, often with considerable personal struggle
and self-doubt, not to mention social discomfort."[8]

Unlabeled sexuality[edit]
Unlabeled sexuality is when an individual chooses to not label their sexual identity. This identification could
stem from one's uncertainty about their sexuality or their unwillingness to conform to a sexuality because they
don't necessarily like labels, or they wish to feel free in their attractions instead of feeling forced into same,
other, both, or pan attractions because of their sexual identity. Identifying as unlabeled could also be because
of one's "unwillingness to accept their sexual minority status."[9]Because being unlabeled is the purposeful
decision of no sexual identity, it is different from bisexuality or any other sexual identity. Those who are
unlabeled are more likely to view sexuality as less stable and more fluid and tend to focus more on the
“person, not the gender.”[10]
It is reported that some women who identify as unlabeled did so because they are unable or uncertain about
the types of relationships they will have in the future. As such, this divergence from sexual labels could provide
for a person to be able to more fully realize their "true" sexuality because it frees them from the pressure of
liking and being attracted to who their sexual identification dictates they should like.[9][10]

Development[edit]
General[edit]
Most of the research on sexual orientation identity development focuses on the development of people who are
attracted to the same sex. Many people who feel attracted to members of their own sex come out at some
point in their lives. Coming outis described in three phases. The first phase is the phase of "knowing oneself,"
and the realization emerges that one is sexually and emotionally attracted to members of one's own sex. This
is often described as an internal coming out and can occur in childhood or at puberty, but sometimes as late as
age 40 or older. The second phase involves a decision to come out to others, e.g. family, friends, and/or
colleagues, while the third phase involves living openly as an LGBT person.[11] In the United States today,
people often come out during high school or college age. At this age, they may not trust or ask for help from
others, especially when their orientation is not accepted in society. Sometimes they do not inform their own
families.
According to Rosario, Schrimshaw, Hunter, Braun (2006), "the development of a lesbian, gay, or bisexual
(LGB) sexual identity is a complex and often difficult process. Unlike members of other minority groups (e.g.,
ethnic and racial minorities), most LGB individuals are not raised in a community of similar others from whom
they learn about their identity and who reinforce and support that identity" and "[r]ather, LGB individuals are
often raised in communities that are either ignorant of or openly hostile toward homosexuality." [6]
Some individuals with unwanted sexual attractions may choose to actively dis-identify with a sexual minority
identity, which creates a different sexual orientation identity from their actual sexual orientation. Sexual
orientation identity, but not sexual orientation, can change through psychotherapy, support groups, and life
events.[2] A person who has homosexual feelings can self-identify in various ways. An individual may come to
accept an LGB identity, to develop a heterosexual identity, to reject an LGB identity while choosing to identify
as ex-gay, or to refrain from specifying a sexual identity.[12]
Models of sexual identity development[edit]
Several models have been created to describe coming out as a process for gay and lesbian identity
development (e.g. Dank, 1971; Cass, 1984; Coleman, 1989; Troiden, 1989). These historical models have
taken a view of sexual identity formation as a sexual-minority process only.[13] However, not every LGBT
person follows such a model. For example, some LGBT youth become aware of and accept their same-sex
desires or gender identity at puberty in a way similar to which heterosexual teens become aware of their
sexuality, i.e. free of any notion of difference, stigma or shame in terms of the gender of the people to whom
they are attracted.[14] More contemporary models take the stance that it is a more universal
process.[3][15] Current models for the development of sexual identity attempt to incorporate other models of
identity development, such as Marcia’s ego-identity statuses.[16]
The Cass identity model, established by Vivienne Cass, outlines six discrete stages transited by individuals
who successfully come out: (1) identity confusion, (2) identity comparison, (3) identity tolerance, (4) identity
acceptance, (5) identity pride, and (6) identity synthesis.[17] Fassinger's model of gay and lesbian identity
development contains four stages at the individual and group level: (1) awareness, (2) exploration, (3)
deepening/commitment, and (4) internalization/synthesis.[18]
Some models of sexual identity development do not use discrete, ordered stages, but instead conceptualize
identity development as consisting of independent identity processes. For example, D'Augelli's model
describes six unordered independent identity processes: (1) exiting heterosexual identity, (2) Developing
personal LGB identity status, (3) Developing a LGB social identity, (4) Becoming a LGB offspring, (5)
Developing a LGB intimacy status, and (6) Entering a LGB community. [19]
The Unifying Model of Sexual Identity Development is currently the only model that incorporates heterosexual
identity development within its statuses to include compulsory heterosexuality, active exploration, diffusion,
deepening and commitment to status, and synthesis.[20]
Contemporary models view sexual identity formation as a universal process, rather than a sexual minority one,
in that it is not only sexual minorities that undergo sexual identity development, but heterosexual populations
as well.[3] More recent research has supported these theories, having demonstrated that heterosexual
populations display all of Marcia’s statuses within the domain of sexual identity.[15][21]
 The CBSN Originals documentary, “Gender: The Space Between,” aired on CBSN Monday, March 27
and is available to view online.

It’s a common misconception that gender identity and sexual orientation are connected. If someone is
transgender, for example, many people automatically assume that they must also be gay. That, however, is not
the case. Gender and sexuality are different, and it’s an important distinction to understand.
“People often perceive that they intersect. But many of us are working very hard to unhinge one from the
other,” said sj Miller, deputy director at NYU’s Metropolitan Center for Research on Equity and the
Transformation of Schools. “They’ve been conflated for so long, and they’re completely different.”

Gender identity is defined by the Human Rights Campaignas the “innermost concept of self as male, female, a
blend of both or neither – how individuals perceive themselves and what they call themselves.” It can mirror
what a person was assigned at birth, or be entirely different. There are dozens of genders, outside of just man
or woman, that people can identify with.

Sexual orientation, on the other hand is the “inherent or immutable enduring emotional, romantic or sexual
attraction to other people.” Basically, it’s who you are interested in dating and being intimate with. Someone
can be transgender, but also be gay, straight, bisexual, asexual, or a whole host of other sexual identities that
exist.

 The gender identity terms you need to know

“Sexuality is who you go to bed with, and gender identity is who you go to bed as. That’s the simplest way I can
describe it,” explained YouTuber Brendan Jordan, who identifies as gender fluid.

But it is often not that simple. Most of the transgender and gender non-conforming people who spoke with CBS
News said it’s not uncommon for others to become preoccupied with their identity and sexual orientation.

“[Sexuality] really doesn’t have anything to do with gender at all,” said Ela Hosp, a 19-year-old non-binary
student at the Kansas City Art Institute. “But there is a huge thing with like ‘Well, what, if you don’t identify as
a female, then are you gay? Do you not like boys, do you like girls?’ And that’s just a whole other thing.”

People’s preoccupation with gender and sexuality can come to the forefront in the dating world.

“A lot of people are really concerned with what genitalia you have, that’s what they want to know. So there have
been instances with relationships that could have worked out perfectly fine if you weren’t non-binary, and after
that person found out that you were, everything changed,” Hosp continued.

Quinn Diaz, a non-binary transgender man living just outside of Los Angeles, echoed that sentiment. “When
you’re trans, I feel like people try to sexualize you a lot, or romanticize you. So that’s been very uncomfortable.”

In response to this, dating apps like Tinder amended their profile options to be more inclusive of the
transgender and gender non-conforming community. Rather than just male or female, gay or straight, there are
now 37 descriptions to choose from on the app, as well as the option to write in your gender identity. This
feature not only recognizes and accepts trans users, but also gives them the choice of how to disclose their
gender to a potential parter.
“When talking to our users, I learned that so many of them found being able to have their gender identity front
and center allowed them to skip the step of having to explain to people how they identify,” Tinder sociologist
Jessica Carbino, PhD, said of her research. “But some of our users said ‘I don’t want to put this out there.’ So
we allow our users to either put it out there, or not.”

“It definitely helps,” said Hosp, who has had hesitations opening up about gender to romantic interests in the
past, after a previous boyfriend repeatedly ignored their identity as non-binary and preference for the
pronouns they/them/theirs.

Ultimately, whether they are navigating the dating scene, office culture, or life in general, people just want to
feel that their gender identity is recognized. Gender and sexuality are both essential components of who we are,
and how we live our lives. But the two are not the same, and that’s a crucial fact to remember.