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Running head: EQUIPMENT ROOM: EVERYONE AND NO ONE'S PROBLEM 1

Equipment Room: Everyone and No One’s Problem

Shelly Treleaven

ECC 516: Family Systems and Conflict Management

M. Ed. in Leadership

City University of Seattle in Canada


EQUIPMENT ROOM: EVERYONE AND NO ONE'S PROBLEM​ 2

Introduction

In a pre-kindergarten to grade 7 school most teachers are generalists. In one such school

there is no Physical Education specialist which means each teacher must instruct their own

classes in this subject area so all teachers have access to the athletic equipment room. Previously

the vice-principal took on the role of gym and equipment room manager, and in his absence

no-one was designated to take on this role. The result has been increased damage,

disorganization, and misuse of equipment. In addition there have been some concerns over lack

of supervision of students while in the gym and more specifically the equipment room and the

safety concerns that this presents.

Conflict Analysis

Origin of Conflict

The athletic director of the school stepped into the manager role as no one else had

volunteered. This person was already scheduled to supervise in the gym two days a week and it

was thought that at these times the cleaning and organizing of the equipment room could be

completed. Due to the nature of the supervision expectation during these two days, time in the

equipment room was limited and thus resulted in alternate times being used to complete this

commitment. The extra time was not scheduled and was considered voluntary on the part of the

athletic director. Over the course of the year, the ‘voluntary’ time that the athletic director was

putting in started to aggravate them and frustration with staff and students increased.

There were numerous emails sent out to the staff requesting that the equipment room

remain locked at all times and that students not be allowed into the room unattended. This was

primarily to ameliorate that equipment was daily being left randomly about the room, but
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additionally to address safety concerns. However, there were numerous times the athletic

director found the room both unlocked and the equipment in disarray.

Elements Influencing Conflict

Both administrators at the school were new and they were unaware that someone was

needed to fulfill this role in the school and while this concern was a frustration for the athletic

director, no one else in the building was aware that there was an issue. Fourali (2009) states that

“man is not affected by events but by his perceptions of them” and while the athletic director

continued to become more and more disgruntled, others in the school remained oblivious to the

issue. Brack, Lassiter, Hill, and Moore (2011) explain that “coming to a basic understanding of

the interplay in the dynamics of the conflicting parties is often daunting” which accurately

portrays the struggle as lack of awareness to the concerns of the athletic director compounded

their frustration.

Historically the athletic director avoided conflict. Their need to maintain peace stemmed

from their own maladaptive reactions to conflict stemming from their childhood. Knapp, Knapp,

Brown, and Larson (2017) explain that incestuous sexual trauma experienced as a child often

results in that person choosing to neglect or avoid interpersonal issues as an adult. According to

the Colour Personality Test this person is a blue personality. It was stated that they will avoid

conflict and because people know that they are trustworthy and that they will get the job done

they are often give additional responsibilities. A humanmetrics test indicated that the athletic

director is also sensitive in that they take things too much to heart and feel like they need to fix

problems that are not theirs to worry about. This would explain why they attempted to solve the

problem on their own and were reluctant to share the concern with the administrators.
EQUIPMENT ROOM: EVERYONE AND NO ONE'S PROBLEM​ 4

This concern developed into a conflict as the athletic director choose to avoid talking

about it with the new administrators throughout the school year. Davies, Myers, Dummings, and

Heindel (1999) explained that when the parameters surrounding a conflict are not well-defined,

children develop their response patterns which include heightened distress, fear, and aggression.

As the athletic director had initially volunteered to this commitment, they became more

distressed at the increased volume of time required to do this job and was fearful that their

frustration would become aggression towards coworkers if not addressed. It was their anxiety

about their own reactions that sparked the initial conversation about this voluntary role.

Conflict Resolution Plan

As stated by Max Lucado “conflict is inevitable but combat is optional” and the athletic

director recognized the need to approach this concern with a positive outlook and a focus on

resolution. The resolution plan will follow the ideas and structure outlined in the book Crucial

Conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high (2012).

Get Unstuck

To begin the process one must state the problem. Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, and

Switzler (2012) in Crucial Conversations stated that “every time we find ourselves arguing,

debating, running away, or otherwise acting in an ineffective way, it’s because we don’t know

how to share meaning” (p. 24). In this case the problem is that the equipment room is a mess and

the athletic director is frustrated that they are the only person dealing with it.

Start with the heart

“The only person we can continually inspire, prod, and shape - with any degree of

success - is the person in the mirror” (Patterson et al. 2012). This means that the person needs to
EQUIPMENT ROOM: EVERYONE AND NO ONE'S PROBLEM​ 5

stay focused on what they really want. Initially the athletic director was not clear what

resolution they wanted. They were not certain whether they wanted time assigned to complete

the work or whether they wanted others to take a role in keeping the space clean and organized.

In the end, they determined that ultimately it is both. One person does need to be responsible for

the space, but with staff having unlimited access, their support in the maintenance of the space is

paramount.

Learn to look

In this stage of the plan it is important to make certain that everyone is heard and that

dialogue continues to flow. If anyone that is part of this dialogue begins to show physical,

emotional, or behavioural avoidance strategies it is imperative that this is noticed. If people are

not feeling safe in the conversation they will typically go in one of two directions: silence or

violence. Silence simply means that the person is no longer contributing to the conversation and

violence is the intent by someone to convince, control or compel others to do as they wish.

Neither of these are productive in conflict resolution.

If this is to be talked about in a staff meeting this might look like silence, cell phones

being used, or people talking to others. However if this is approached with the administrators the

athletic director will need to be aware of body language such as arms crossed or leaning away

from the table. In any of these cases, addressing the avoidance and making sure that everyone is

engaged in the dialogue is important.

Make it safe

There are a number of ways to make certain the dialogue continues and that people are

not moved to silence or violence. The first is to apologize when appropriate. If respect has been
EQUIPMENT ROOM: EVERYONE AND NO ONE'S PROBLEM​ 6

violated then an apology is expected. Secondly use contrasting to fix misunderstandings. This is

when you state what you don’t intend or mean then state what you do want.

The athletic director could say that they don’t want students to be in an unsafe

environment and that they don’t want the school equipment damaged but that they do want

things organized and easy to find.

Master my Story

There are three kinds of stories we tell ourselves: Victim stories - it’s not my fault, villain

stories - it's all your fault, and helpless stories - there’s nothing else I could do. As stated earlier,

how you respond to something is based on a person’s perception. “We add meaning to the action

we observe” (Patterson et al. 2012) which in this case was that others did not value the

equipment, respect the requests, or value the work that was being done.

This is a villain story - the mess was all their fault. In order to master the story, one

needs to become aware of what they are telling themselves and ask instead why would

reasonable, rational, and decent people do what these people are doing?

State my path

State is an acronym that stands for S - share your facts, T - tell your story and explain

what you a beginning to conclude, A - ask for others’ path by encouraging them to share their

stories and their facts, T - talk tentatively and don’t disguise your story as a fact, and E -

encourage testing by making it safe for others to express alternate perspectives.

The facts in this case are that doors were left unlocked, students were allowed to be

unsupervised, and equipment was damaged. The athletic director will need to be open and

“speak persuasively, not abrasively” (Patterson et al. 2012).


EQUIPMENT ROOM: EVERYONE AND NO ONE'S PROBLEM​ 7

Explore others’ path

The athletic director would begin by asking what people’s thoughts were about this

concern, then they would need to listen attentively to what is being shared. Being prepared to

recognize the emotions of others, paraphrase to show understanding, support the sharing of ideas,

and be aware that their suggestions may conflict with theirs. Maintaining dialogue is imperative.

Move to action

There are four ways that decisions are made: Command, consultation, vote, or consensus.

The method being used will ultimately be determined by the administrator, but the best buy-in

comes for consensus. This would be the method that would be recommended so that all staff are

held accountable for the decision. At this final stage it is important to document any decisions

that have been made, making certain to know who is doing what, when it is being done and

determine when follow up is going to take place.

Conclusion

While this may not seem as high-stakes as some conflicts, the fact remains that a staff

member was feeling taken advantage of and they were holding in anger and frustration that may

have eventually presented itself in some other situation if not dealt with. The athletic director

had been using the choice of silence rather than participating in dialogue. Creating a plan for

resolution made them aware of the impact that this has on themselves and their relationships.

Resolving conflict requires that all the people involved are committed and willing to contribute

to the knowledge and understanding around the issue. Using the structure set out in the book

Crucial Conversation (2012) anyone can build stronger relationships with all those in their lives.
EQUIPMENT ROOM: EVERYONE AND NO ONE'S PROBLEM​ 8

References

16 personalities. (2017). Retrieved from ​https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

Brack, G., Lassiter, P. S., Hill, M. B., & Moore, S. A. (2011). Ecosystemic complexity theory of

conflict: Understanding the fog of conflict.​ The Journal of Humanistic Counseling, 50(​ 1),

3-15. Retrieved from

http://proxy.cityu.edu/login?url=https://search-proquest-com.proxy.cityu.edu/docview/92

0893076?accountid=1230

Davies, P. T., Myers, R. L., Cummings, E. M., & Heindel, S. (1999). Adult conflict history and

children's subsequent responses to conflict: An experimental test.​Journal of Family

Psychology, 13​(4), 610-628.

doi:​http://dx.doi.org.proxy.cityu.edu/10.1037/0893-3200.13.4.610

Fourali, C. (2009). Tackling conflict: A beyond opposites approach.​ Counselling Psychology

Quarterly, 22(​ 2), 147-169. doi:10.1080/09515070903154898

Humanmetrics inc. (2017) Retrieved from ​http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

Karadakal, N. V., Goud, N., & Thomas, P. (2015). Impact of leadership role perspective on

conflict resolution styles - a study on small and medium sized entrepreneurs of karnataka

state in india.​ Journal of Global Entrepreneurship Research, 5​(1), 1-20.

doi:​http://dx.doi.org.proxy.cityu.edu/10.1186/s40497-015-0019-6

Knapp, A. E., Knapp, D. J., Brown, C. C., & Larson, J. H. (2017). Conflict resolution styles as

mediators of female child sexual abuse experience and heterosexual couple relationship
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satisfaction and stability in adulthood.​ Journal of Child Sexual Abuse, 26(​ 1), 58-77.

doi:10.1080/10538712.2016.1262931

Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2012). Crucial conversations: Tools for

talking when stakes are high. New York, NY: McGraw Hill.

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