BEFORE MARRIAGE BONDARIES

CLEAR OBJECTIVES: Make it clear and honest to each other as to why we want
to be in a marriage in a form of noting down a list of our intentions to be in
marriage, speaking from the heart not from circumstances around us like getting
old, friends getting married, desperation, pressure from family, etc.
MAKE DECISION: Based on our objectives of getting married, the list or our hearts

must guide us as to what kind of marriage each one of us need. Example: If the
intention is to get married, it should be for the right reasons individually as well
as suit us both or meet each other halfway.
CHRISTIANITY: Both partners must or are to be Christians or believers or atleast
show willingness to know and submit to or share common beliefs in Christianity
and fully understanding that anyone of us or we both may have a calling to be
ministers of the word of God.
TRANSPARENCY: We must be transparent (open & honest) about our objectives
to each other from the onset so that we are aware of what we are getting ourselves
involved into. We don’t want to waste each others time. It is unfair to first string
each other along, going out on numerous dates only to find out later that it was
all for nothing or waste.
HONESTY: If it happens that we share same objectives and same feelings, we need
to take it a step further and open up to each other about our personal lives, every
area of our lives, i.e. family background & current family status, employment or
business engagements, number of kids we have, (include all that needs to be
discussed here and none should be left behind for secrets have a way of catching
up with us) etc.
KIDS: Whoever between us who has kids from previous relationships, it is our
responsibility to love them as though they are ours and take them in with us if it
means we have to upon reaching our financial stability. No child shall be treated
better than the other, they shall be treated equally.
2018……. WORD OF GOD 2
TRUST: Based on the amount of time we spend and the honesty between us
regarding our personal lives, trust will develop between the 2 of us as we get to
know each other and both our families.
SEX: Love is not based on sex, no one has to sleep with anyone to prove their love
for each other. Bible shall be our reference in terms of the principles of marriage
as it is the holy institution of God.
PHYSICAL BEAUTY: Love shall be based on each others hearts, whatever that has
activated feelings between us must be from the beauty of our hearts not our
physical beauty.
RESPECT: Respect shall come out naturally from the heart not based on the status

of either one of us, same for our families, no one shall undermine our families
irrespective of our backgrounds. Our positions at our employment areas or
businesses, level of education, etc, shall not be a determining factor for love and
respect. That goes the same for our finances
SHARING: We shall share everything, pains that each one of us is or has gone
through, financial obligations shall become ours and we shall both take ownership
of each other financial obligations, being supportive of each other, that goes the
same for both our families as we consider them equal, there shall be open line of
communication between us under any circumstances.
EQUALITY: We are both equal in marriage. No one shall have a controlling power
over another one in any area of our marriage or our lives. We shall respect each
other. We honour the Word of God that a man is the Head, in our marriage we
shall appoint the Lord Jesus to be the Head in our marriage as we ask Him and
confess His Lordship in every area of our lives.
EX-PARTNERS: At any stage it is inappropriate (not suitable or proper,
unacceptable) for either one of us to have any form of communication or
friendship with our ex-partners, be it in social networks, e-mails, or any form of
communication. The past shall be left in the past and not follow us.
2018……. WORD OF GOD 3
FRIENDSHIPS: Friendships with opposite sex is a huge boundary because in most
cases relationships or cheating develop based on communication and quality of
time that opposite sexes spend and ultimately intimacy develops. Our problems
shall not be shared with opposite sex, friends, family and anyone irrespective of
what may come. It is forbidden to speak of our challenges to any family member
no matter how angry or upset we are. Even the Bible forbids this behaviour.
SAME SEX FRIENDS: Preferably same gender friendships that we are able to relate

better with depending on the type of such a friend as well. We shall both know the
people that we call our friends and have a relationship with them whereby they
shall be allowed to visit us and we do the same with them, obviously on certain
conditions.
FLIRTING: Flirting with other men or women just shows lack of respect and shall
not be discussed any further because of obvious reasons why it cannot be
discussed.
CLUBBING/LATE NIGHT OUTINGS: Late night outings have consequences as well

most of the times especially where drinking of alcohol is involved. Drinking of

alcohol is also a boundary that cannot be tolerated especially drinking beyond
what we shall discuss & agree as acceptable or limit.
HUGS/TOUCHING: Inappropriate touching between opposite sexes, hugging with
opposite sex. This is such an uncomfortable and disrespectful act for things like
hugs are very personal and intimate, we cannot hug opposite sex at all. It shows
lack of respect for each other if we do such acts especially behind each others back
TIME: Quality time has to be created as much as possible between us and not allow

any activities in the form of work or friends, to steal our time as I this has resulted
in so many marriages having failed.
PRIORITIES: We need to address our priorities in marriage, stuff that must take
priorities under any circumstances, i.e. priorities such as our calling, each other
(wife or husband or our kids & families, businesses). Anything outside of these
2018……. WORD OF GOD 4
like friends, late night outings, etc. shall not interfere with our family priorities.
From the beginning of the relationship, if our priorities are different then the
relationship cannot continue for the partners shall always clash with each other.
ABUSE: Any form of abuse is totally unacceptable, whether be it verbal, physical
or emotional abuse.
COMMITMENT & FAITHFULNESS: If we agree on our boundaries, we must fully
commit, remain faithful and grounded to our boundaries for them to bring success
to our marriage. Actions speak louder than words. We must both put efforts and
both show with our actions regarding all of the above.
FINANCIES: All financial obligations are ours, we share everything and we are
responsible for everything related to finances. Borrowing money or finances
behind each others back is unacceptable and cannot be allowed in our marriage as
it is not biblical as well. Secrets about anything are totally forbidden.
DISAGREEMENTS: In cases whereby we don’t agree on certain things, we shall sit

down and debate on reaching a common ground that will satisfy both of us, try
and reach a compromise.
FINAL AUTHORITY: WE SHALL BE BOUND BY THESE BOUNDARIES AS LED

AND GUIDED BY THE WORD OF GOD AND BY THE HOLY SPIRIT KNOWING

THAT MARRIAGE IS OF GOD NOT OF MAN, JESUS IS THE LORD IN OUR

MARRIAGE, WE BOW TO JESUS, WE ACCOUNT TO HIM FOR THIS MARRIAGE

IS HIS ROCK UPON WHICH HE IS BUILDING HIS CHURCH AND BUSINESSES

FOR ADVANCING HIS KINGDOM AND HIS WILL HERE ON EARTH. JESUS IS

THE CORNERSTONE OF THIS MARRIAGE. AMEN!

2018……. WORD OF GOD 5