Are you at least rich?

- You're fucking up my Fung Shui (whenver she touches or moves your property)
- I need a quick female opinion on something assuming you guys are really female
s, and not just really cute cross dressers. (Yes, this has been field tested)
- Did you come over here just to flirt with me
- Stop undressing me with your eyes
- Don't get you hopes up. I'm not easy
- I don't think my girlfriend would like it that you're hitting on me
You better be getting back to your friends before they realize you're over here
flirting with me. But before you go... (awsome time constraint)
-If she gets whiny, rub your fingers together and say "You know what this is? Th
is is the world's smallest violin, playing a sad song just for you."
-If a girl is being negative or shoots down an idea start calling her Nancy. Whe
n she asks why tell her that if shes going to be a Negative Nancy you are just g
oing to call her Nancy for the rest of the night. Later on call her Nancy at opp
ortune times and try to get others to call her it too.

Hey, are you the kind of person that can take a sincere compliment from a strang
er?
So am I. Go ahead.
You know what, I think you'd make a nice new girlfriend.
Wait a minute. Can you cook?
[YES--Awesome. NO--We're broken up then, but wait.]
Are you rich, because I want to be a stay-at-home husband?
[YES--We're back together. NO--We're broken up then, but wait.]
Etc
You: We're too much a like. We'd never get along
Her: Why?
You: Because we'd never have anything significant to argue about. So we'd have t
o make up petty little things to fight about... And I'd always win.
Her: No you wouldn't
You: Yes I would
Her: No
You: You see, we're arguing right now... And you started it
Her: No I didn't. You did
You: OMG, just let it go. If you're going to keep acting like this, I will so ha
ve to break up with you
Her: (Whatever. Doesn't matter)
You: Hey, but at least we'd have good make up sex
Her: (Whatever)
You: Yeah, just kidding anyways. We don't have to get in arguments to have sex
Here's another argue routine, I think it was Harlequin who once posted in a fiel
d report.
You: Do you want to have an argument?
Her: NoIf you keep that up I am going to have to make you go stand in the corner
Don't make me come over there lil miss
Do I need to put you over my knee young lady
I am going to have to send you to the principal's office for a spankin
I am going to have to give you detention (or demerits)
Keep that up and you will be staying after school to clean the erasers
No recess for you
You: Yes you do
Her: Can I help you?
You: Yeah, I need a back rub and a warm bath
You: Hey, you're not shoplifting, are you?
Her: No, I work here
You: What's the matter, the employee discount not enough for you?
You: So what do they pay you here, like $10,000 a week?
Her: No
You: Oh, that's too bad. I was going to ask you out. But I'm looking for a rich
girl
Her: Nice to meet you
You: I'm sure it is
Her: Have a nice day
You: Hey, don't tell me what to do
"I don't know who your boyfriend is, but he is not spanking you enough"
- Which one of you guys would win in a fight?
- You're taking this way too seriously
- Stop flirting with me
- If that were true, you wouldn't love me
- You must've driven your parents crazy
- Give me a kiss on the cheek, and maybe I'll let you forgive me
- I'm too high maintenance for you
- What else do you like about me?
- I'm so out of your league
If you keep that up I am going to have to make you go stand in the corner
Don't make me come over there lil miss
Do I need to put you over my knee young lady
I am going to have to send you to the principal's office for a spankin
I am going to have to give you detention (or demerits)
Keep that up and you will be staying after school to clean the erasers
No recess for you
- Let's play a game. Let's see how long you can hold your breath
- You're back to square one with me, missy
- You're so outside the circle of trust
- How short are you?
- You're such a player
- You guys remind me of the Power Puff Girls/or/ You guys are like watching The
View
- Do your parents know where you are
- Isn't this a school night
- You're makeup is smudged
- Bartender, you might want to check this girl's ID again
- We should hang out some time. You can help me pick up chicks
- You girls aren't toursists, are you?
- Holy shit, you really don't know what you're doing, do you?
- Careful girl, I'm a heartbreak waiting to happen
- Your ex boyfriend sounds just like me
- I'm so emotionally unavailable right now
- I think you might make a nice friend
- We need to find you a man
- We would never get along
Stop it¦ You're looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheeseburger.
You are getting me all emotional¦ I promised my friends I wouldn't go home with any
one tonight.
You guys are bad girls. I have to watch out for you.
You guys are trouble.
You are cool, you can help me pick up chicks.
Why are girls always so logical? Why can't they just FEEL and be in the moment?
Are you drunk or are you just like that?
Did you forget to take your medication today?
We'd never get along, we are too similar. I'd never take your shit and youâ⠬⠢d never t
ine.
You know, we would fight all the time. And I'd win.
Is she ALWAYS like this?
Have you got any game? Pick me up (I dont know if I like this one)
This place is such a meat market. I hate how the girls look at me here; like
I am a piece of meat.
You are like my little sister. Lovable, but a little annoying.
I used to be too modest, but I worked at it and now I am perfect.
You guys are making me feel uncomfortable.
You are bad. You are making me think impure thoughts.
You are a shy girl aren't you? You guys gotta get her out more.
I am going to take you home in my little pocket and ask my roommates if I can ke
ep you. Wait, are you housebroken?
You usually hang out at the library don't you?
You look familiar, have we had sex?
If a girl gets excited while telling a story, or gets really loud, or if she tri
ps, or bumps into someone or you.... basically if she does any kind of abrupt mo
vement etc.. I would always say:
"Whoa, eeeaaasy killer." say it in a cool-ass laid back manner.
If a girl spills something/breaks something etc... I like to say:
"Man, I can't take you anywhere"
A good one I use when the girl is older than I am:
OMG...(*age*)?! You are such a cradle snatcher!
"Sarcasm is just one more service I offer. "
"I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. "
"I'm really easy to get along with once you learn to worship me. "
"It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying. "
- Your fly's down
- I know your type
- My mother warned me about girls like you
- You remind me of one of those little Precious Moments dolls (Credit to Bang Br
os)
- Guys like me are over-rated
- You already had your chance with me
- Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
- I'm sorry, did I skip the part where I try to impress you?
- That's not gangster
- Wow, I'm impressed. Hey everyone, let's all give *name* a round of applause (A
nother credit to Bang Bros)
Her: Would you... (asking for favor)
You: Do fish have nipples?
Her: Nice hair
You: Thanks, I grew it myself
Stop playing hard to get... I had you at Hello.
(1) You are going to make some lucky man a wonderful future ex wife.
(2) I cant wait to make you my future ex girlfriend.
(3) I cant wait to make your list of future ex boyfriends.
(4) "Gentlemen, I would like for you to meet the future ex Ms. (your last name)"
HAHAHAHAHA! Instant shit-test dispeller for any situation.
Here are the 20 standard responses from the 8-ball toy:
* Signs point to yes.
* Yes.
* Most likely.
* Without a doubt.
* Yes - definitely.
* As I see it, yes.
* You may rely on it.
* Outlook good.
* It is certain.
* It is decidedly so.
* Reply hazy, try again.
* Better not tell you now.
* Ask again later.
* Concentrate and ask again.
* Cannot predict now.
* My sources say no.
* Very doubtful.
* My reply is no.
* Outlook not so good.
* Don't count on it.
The ones I highlighted in red text above sound like awesome ways to deal with sh
it tests.
And so that I'm actually contributing something new, I'll add something entirely
different below.
You: Hey guys, quick question. Would you ever date a guy who's still friends wit
h his ex-girlfriend?
Her: Uhhhhh... *long pause*
You: Easy there, don't strain yourself now. *smile, give false time constraint,
and continue opener or multithread*
Also works as a neg threaded into the opener and obeying the 90/10 rule.
Poo-A: "Wow you can multi-task... I'm impressed..."
Poo-B: "Huh?"
Pu-A: "Yeah, you can talk & be annoying at the same time."
This also works well as a self neg, when you say, "I like to multi-task... I can
talk & piss you off at the same time."
I think of you like a sister.
The sister I never wanted.
Whenever I accuse a girl of liking me and she playfully denies, I respond with:
"Yeah right, you're totally going to write about me in your diary tonight. It's
going to be all like..."
(said in a girly voice) "DEAR DIARY, I MET THIS TOTALLY CUTE GUY NAMED <your nam
e> TODAY, HE'S REALLY COOL AND SMART AND FUNNY, AND I HOPE HE LIKES ME BECAUSE I
TOTALLY LIKE HIM! BUT I CAN'T TELL ANYONE BECAUSE BOYS HAVE COOTIES! HEART SMIL
EY FACE <her name>!"
Cue the laughing & arm-punching.
"Yeah, well you know, you're very good looking... the thing about good looking p
eople, people don't like us" - said with a wink and sarcasm
PUA "I eat girls like you for breakfest"
HB "Well, I eat guys like you for lunch"
PUA "That's cool, I'm not hungry anyway".
PUA "Respect!" (tap fist to heart, nod head). Give her a hug
I'm saving the world one drunk girl at a time
I'm saving the world one troublemaking blonde at a time
I'm saving the world one powerpuff girl at a time.
when I hang out with you I feel like I lose 1 iq point per minute (page12)
circle, circle / dot, dot / now you've got the cootie shot
circle, circle / square, square / now you have it everywhere
circle, circle / knife, knife / now you've got it all your life
"I think it's a hobo," I said to her.
"No it's two people," she replied, "they could be drunk."
"No I think it's one."
"See," she said, "two people."
"Oh," I replied, "I'm Jonathan," I said stretching my hand out in front of her.
"I'm Lindsey" she replied. My eyes wrapped around the endearing shine of her fac
e, her eyes, aged cheekbones, and deeply darkened lips.
"You're just beautiful."
"Oh thank you," she said accepting my compliment with a melt. Her friend, not si
tting far from us sat on the bench making heartstruck sound effects. I looked ov
er to her starbucks cup which had a heart drawn amateurly on the side of it.
"Is that how you celebrate Valentines day, by signing your Starbucks cup with a
heart."
She laughed, "Oh no," she said under her laughing lips, "This is just how the cu
p is, I don't exactly celebrate Valentines."
"So you're saying if I asked you out for Valentine's you wouldn't be inclined to
say yes?" My words entirely. Her friend behind her gave a heart felt hush.
"Oh my God!" the friend said staring deeply into our conversation. "Respond!"
"What???" Lindsey said to her girlfriend.
"Respond to him, say yes!" the girlfriend said.
Lindsey's eyes turned to me, "I don't know because i don't know you yet, but you
could definitely have my number."
"Ok." I said.
"Jon?" she said in pleasant tones, "that's exactly how my dad writes his name, n
o H"
"Yeah I hate that H," I said to her. I ripped the paper in the middle and gave h
er the side that had my name and number on it. "So this is your real number, and
your not about to just break my heart now..."
"No, of course it's my real number," she looked over to her friend and told her
to call her number. "See same number, and she's calling me. See!" I obliged
I said goodbye to her, "Hey, okay, I'm going to kiss your forehead," I said in a
calm confident tone.
"What?" she said, as I pulled her head over to my lips, my mouth pursed nestled
across the skin inbetween her hair and the middle of her forehead.
Her friend gave a glamored sweet sound and they both looked at me as I walked aw
ay in a sincere manner.
Look I would love to agree with you
But then we'd both be wrong
"Hey, okay here this is what were going to do," I grabbed the end of the lime, a
nd pulled over any Corona at our table. It was probably Gio's, our friend who wa
s coming late to meet us. "I'm going to bite this lime on one end, and your goin
g to bite the other end." She nodded, "Okay," she replied. We bit, slightly brus
hed upon each others lips, dropped our bottles, and I came back for a full kiss.
HB9
If you keep that up I am going to have to make you go stand in the corner
Don't make me come over there lil miss
Do I need to put you over my knee young lady
I am going to have to send you to the principal's office for a spankin
I am going to have to give you detention (or demerits)
Keep that up and you will be staying after school to clean the erasers
No recess for you
She bumps into you drops something, whatever, accidentally wrongs you in some wa
y. Says "Excuse me/Sorry/Oops"
V: "This isn't over."
Look I would love to agree with you
But then we'd both be wrong
HB: (says something smart-ass)
You: (Playfully) Shut... UH-up! You're grounded.
"We have a love/hate relationship. You love me, and I hate you."
"If you were hot, I'd so do you."
"You just like me for my penis."
"You're sleeping on the couch tonight!"
Her: â Youâ re not drinking anything tonight?â
You: â No, girls take advantage of me when I drink.â
"You're like a sour patch kid... first you're sour, then you're sweet, then you
get stuck in my teeth."
if she's complaining about AFCs hitting on her:
"come on, its not possible to be cute and not get hit on all the time...sometime
s I wish I wasn't so cute."
Outcry: "You've got chocolate all around your mouth"
HB: Hehe, they totally trip, *hands over mouth "really?!"
Outcry: "Nah im just kidding"
Brian: (sings take to the highway by James Taylor or someone.)
Stewie: "Who sings that song?"
Brian: "James Taylor.."
Stewie: "Yeah maybe we should keep it that way"
When she totally fumbles her words:
"Are you talking? Cause I know all of those words.... Just not in that order."
I always knew Sir Mix Alot was wrong... big butts do lie!
1) HB: You're (whatever) [funny, crazy, weird, gay, etc.]
PUA: Hey, I just try to give the public what they want.
2) HB: (She says something outrageous, or complains about something.)
PUA: Medic! [Called out to the venue in general]
3) (The following can be said randomly, or in response to an HB's shit test or o
ther feisty remark...)
HB: (whatever, or not)
PUA: Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful!
(The meaning is, "Don't hate me for being beautiful," but the actual words are a
famous tagline from a commercial from the 80's with Kelly LeBrock of "The Woman
in Red" fame, for Clairol or Revlon or something -- hair care or makeup.)
4) HB: (Says or does something really feisty or mischievous.)
PUA: You're a little criminal! Where's your black mask?
(Similar to previous post, "You're a little terrorist," but more sensitive for t
hose who don't wish to use that word.)
5) (If HB randomly sits or stands next to you, but not as obvious proximity IOI
or AI...)
PUA: I don't blame you -- I'd want to sit (stand) next to me too.
(If she's giving you proximity IOI/AI, then you should be moving right into qual
ification rather than going backwards in the sarge by running attraction, which
is what banter is.)
6) HB: (Accuses you of something, or says that old line, "You know you love it!"
)
PUA: Hey, I'm an attention whore, what can I tell you.
7) HB: You're funny! (sexy, pretty smooth, etc. -- positive things)
PUA: Ah, it's a gift, what can I tell you.
(Say this with mock conceit and a blase attitude, as if you couldn't care less,
but with a mischievous smile. Usually gets a shoulder punch or a big laugh.)
8) (She drops, spills something.)
PUA: Clean-up on aisle 7!
If she asks me to pass the ketchup or slide a coaster across the table to her:
"you know . . . I spoil you"
If she says, "I went to sleep today" or something about sleeping in general.
"How was your dream about me?" I find that if you throw them C&F lines out there
and move quick, the frame still gets across without resistance.
HB: Are you hitting on me (or any version of that)
You: No, I'm the romantic type. Flowers, Candy, dinners... And you've given me n
one of that
(She gives you playful resistance)
"You know, I'm not afraid to fight a girl"
or, my favorite
"Listen, I've fought bigger girls than you before"
HB: [some cooking related talk]
ME: It's not like you ever cook for me anyways ... You'd probably burn toast if
there wasn't a timer
When she describes something overly dramatic for something trivial that happened
in her life
"wow. i wonder who's going to play you in the movie"
HER: Why does... (anything, as long as it starts with "why")
YOU (in an accusatory tone): Because you touch yourself at night.
She says/does something stupid, you sigh exaggeratedly then:
YOU: That's a real shame.
HER: What?
YOU: Just when I was starting to fall for you, you had to go and blow it.
HB: *says something clever*
You: Oh I get it. That's clever.. How's is working out for you?
HB: What?
You: Being clever.
pua: hey i like those earrings you're wearing
hb: oh thanks
pua: ya i wish i would have kept everything i made at summercamp when i was litt
le
If she is giving off IOI's and you are about to move into qualification but she
is trying to play 20 questions (asking your name, job, whatever). This line work
s good - "What are you? A cop!?" I usually say it in a quick, shady voice.
She throw you another IOI - laughter and your off into qualification either by a
nswering her questions then asking about her ____. or by using a canned
anything she does worthy of a neg...
congradulations, you just became my new arch enemy
HB: "Oh my God"
PUA: "Yes?" or "Yes my child?"
When a blonde chick pushes her way to the bar...
-Take it easy, sweetheart. They're serving alcohol, not peroxide
Chick doesn't have email, cell phone...
-Wait a minute, you're not Amish are you?
2 set of girls that look alike, or 2 set of sisters...
-You guys sooo look like the Olsen twins
Responses for girls being rude...
-Wow, you learn that in charm school?
-Ok, Miss Congeniality
Girls with unusual names...
-What is that, a stage name?
You're kinda fun. I'd kidnap you and sell you on ebay, but I don't want negative
feedback
you are like a nipple falshy and cheerful
tell her a story how a girl used to come to gym with full makeup on.... and how
she sweated and her makeup got smudged