FHM Philippines October 2016 PDF

www.fhm.com.
ph
The real story

of Batanes in
typhoon season
OCTOB E R 2016
Man
vs
Female things
#fhmLoviPoe
Steady rockin’
Tito Chito
Miranda
How not
Lovi
to sin?
Poe
P150
October 2016
CONTENTS
F E AT U R E S
64 C H I T O
M I RAN DA
The rocker grows
up…a bit
68 S TA l w A R T O f
THE NORTH
The beauty and
horror of Batanes in
the midst of typhoon
season
72 w E A T H E R -
p R O O f yO u R
lIfE
Deal with your
disasters, from
clogged gutters to
faulty car lights
76 w H A T I S
S Exy fOR
yO u ?
It seems sexiness has
leveled up, so FHM
investigates
82 B B C R E A M S ,
B I k I N I wAx
S E T S , TA M p O N S
Navigate the
complicated feminine
world like a boss
88 yA S M I N
She wants you to stay
indoor for the bed
weather
COVE R
STORY
PHOTOGRAPHY: MARK NICDAO
L OVI P O E
Revelation: she
is not what you
think she is
October 2016
CONTENTS
PHOTOGRAPHY: EJAY LEUNG, JONATHAN BALDONADO; ILLUSTRTATION: BORG SINABAN

VERGE PULSE GENT FITS BOOST
14 p u T S O M E 2 2 #gAlITkAMISAyO 32 T H E O l D - 97 M R . N E AT
MAg IC I N Is mob mentality SCHOOl BAD BOy Plain isn’t boring 1 09 A R E yO u R
yO u R l I f E ruining social media? Baron Geisler knows when it's these shoes M EAlS wORTHy
Our genius street how to really love O f I N S TA g R A M ?
magician shows you 24 B E H O M E By women 98 B A g M A N Pros share tips on
how 10 OR E lS E… Carry your self with how to make your
Surviving Duterte’s 36 N E V E R B E style food clickable
18 C A N y O u E AT strict curfew hours SwIpED lEfT
A l l yO u CA N ? AgAI N 1 02 S T R A N g E 112 TH E
Pro tips on how to 2 6 fI N D I N g How to make VIBES f O R g OT T E N
make the most out of wOR k wAS your online profile Yesterday’s look, ART Of S HOE
a buffet N EVE R TH I S EASy irresistible to anyone today MAkI Ng
GrabJobs is C O M B I N AT I O N
20 COMICS: revolutionizing job- 3 8 lOVE MyTHS Reviving the Marikina
VIRTuAl REAlITy hunting ACCORDINg TO shoe industry one
And another problem pINOy ROM-COMS bespoke pair at a
that comes with it 2 6 R EA D B OOk S, Can strangers really time
DA M M I T, R EA D fall in love after
B OOk S ! spending one day in 114 M OTO R
This month’s selection Sagada? That’s “Build Your
will make you fit, Dreams” by the way
creative, and un-bitter 39 S E x
DOSSIER 116 p A g E
28 k I M M O l I N A Well, that escalated ENDER:
Camp Sawi’s newbie quickly #OlD S Exy
is also super hot
onstage
FROM THE EDITOR
Strangest thing: the tampon. What FHMers

First time I saw one—real ones—was on the job. This was maybe about six have been up to
years ago. I was hunkered down on my desk doing editing work, like I always do, this month
when from the corner of my eye I saw, gathered on one table, what I thought were
live gigantic sperm cells.
What in hell is this?! How did it get here?
Then I was told what it was. A tampon controls blood flow during a woman’s
period, like a sanitary napkin, only much more discreet. It also allowed for
freedom of movement. She was supposed to stick it up her vagina (I cannot be any
more professional about this—this is the scientific word to use), absorbent side
up, just enough to get it out of sight. The tail of the tampon, the short length of
string, was to be left dangling from the vaginal lips, so the thing could be pulled
from the vagina after use.
I was astounded. They stick those in? That they look like sperm cells symbolic
of the act they commit themselves to? What if—and I was just taking it to the next
logical conclusion—that thing they stick up their birth canals turn out to be a life
jacket, and they pull on the string...
I couldn't bear the thought. We work extra hard in producing
The tampon is just one of 20 female things that we ruminated on (Man Vs. cover shoots. Here, assistant
Female Things, p. 82) in this issue. We also thought about bags, heels, jeggings, managing editor Pong standing in
pubic hair clippers, rabbit vibrators, BB, CC, DD creams. A whole lot of other for Lovi. Yes, she had her hands full!
things besides. As men, we are often confronted with these things but we really
don’t know how to regard them or conduct themselves around them.
Going beyond the strange things they have, we also thought deep about the
mystery of Woman in general. When you’re with Lovi Poe, you are confronted
with this mystery in its most primal form. You see her and you think that is what
she is, but she is not. Her cover feature is a revelation.
But going back to strange female things. Fact is, they are useful, most of them
not only for her, but for you as well. When you realize this, it will be easier for you
to explain to your bros why you have BB cream in your clutch bag.
We spent a quiet afternoon with

ALLAN P. HERNANDEZ Parokya ni Edgar frontman Chito
Acting Editor in Chief Miranda, talking life and career.
allan.hernandez@summitmedia.com.ph Disclaimer: walang bagsakan to.
F H M I N T E R N AT I O N A L Whilma M. Lopez Admin Assistants Assistant Managing Editor Franch

N ETWOR k Michiel Lumabi, Marlyn Miguel Bustamante Editorial Assistant
International Director Simon Greves ADVERTISING Therese Sta. Maria Art Directors
International Digital Director Group Advertising Director Florence Jerome de Dios, Rey Etable, Juan Carlo
Gary Broughton International General Bienvenido Adv. Director-key Accounts Maala, Teddy Garcia Producer Miggy
Manager Mark Beard International Group Regie Uy Adv. Manger Maiza Cordero
Digital Manager Graham Kirk G. Mueco key Account Specialists C I R C U L AT I O N
I S B R O U G H T T O Y O U B Y. . . International Content Executive Joey Anciano, Junn de las Alas, George Deputy National Circulation Manager
Acting Editor in chief Allan P. Hernandez Ryan Chambers International Digital Canseco III Senior Account Manager Glenda Gil Circulation Manager-GMA
Team Art Director Paul C. Villariba & Content Executive Erin Viljoen (Print) Bem Caharian, JJ Dinglasan Noreen Sescon-Peligro Asst. Manager
Associate Art Director John Laurence O. Patulan International Technical Administrator Senior Account Manager (Digital) For Print And Online Distribution Ulyssis
Assistant Managing Editor Pong M. Castillo John Goodchild International Editors Lucas Reyes Junior Account Managers Javier key Accounts Group Head Vivian
Associate Style Editor Mikey Ashlie L. Mahinay (Australia) Guy Mosel, (China) Jacky (Print) Melinda Kitane-San Diego, Junior Manahan, Charlotte Barlis Subscription
Editorial Assistant Chise A. Alcantara Jin, (Czech Republic) Dalibor Demel, Account Managers (Digital) Onnie Del Group Head Carla Soriano key Accounts
Contributing Editor Cecile J. Baltasar (France) Laurent Giraud, (Germany) Hans Mundo, Dianne Suegay, Angela Lagahid, Specialists Jennifer Tolentino, Alfredo
Celebrity Coordinator Allan Altera Fuchs, (Holland) Sander Kersten, (India) Adv. Executive Assistant Toledo Jr., Harold William Rey, Rejie
Kabeer Sharma, (Indonesia) Richard Rita Barbacena key Accounts Assistants Paquibot, Marjorie Yu Newsstand
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Staff Writer John Paulo Aguilera, Mary Rose A. Hogaza, (Malaysia) Rajesh Taluar, (Norway) Martin Adv. Assistants Lorena Santiago Specialists Kim Sarmiento, Roberto
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Video Production Specialist Eve Baswel (Romania) Paul Breazu, (Russia) Slava E V E N T S D E PA R T M E N T Gasatan, Bee Datinguinoo, Aeron
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Rafael Benitez, (Taiwan) Saffron Lee, Rica Lozada Senior Marketing Brylle Gonzales, Melrose Tamboong,
WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM... (Thailand) Jakaphatchara Buranabutr, Associate Jed Constantino Junior Julie Dunn Bantan Sales Coordinator
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Gervic, Roselle Miranda, Micah Marcaida, Anne Castano, Amanda Publisher Amina Rillo Web Business TRADE MARkETING Admin Assistants Elnie Marie Delos
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Sobrevega, Cristine Duque, Ethan David Web Programmer Christopher Porto Marketing Associates Hannah Roque LOG I STICS
Production Director Elizabeth Rellis Trade Marketing Assistants Joylyn Logistics Manager Norman Campo
Production Coordinator Arnel Laigo Guinto, Raven Dorado Logistics Officer Lorie Francisco
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Administrative Services Manager Managing Editor Marco Sumayao Barroga
10 FH M OCTOBER 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

October 2016
REaCtiOns
chuckqui, via
Instagram
FHM ’s September Yummy food at The

2016 issue is out! Burgery with yummy
Grab your copy Jessy Mendiola
now. herself!
markjuliuscu, via JCJessy Official, via
Instagram Tw i t t e r
Hello, my dear
señorita.
nicalicious22, via
Instagram
Because J E S S Y.
Need I say more?
senoritostephen, via
Instagram
I’m probably won’t be

the first one to post Weekend work-life
their copy online but balance with Jessy
who cares? The much- Mendiola
anticipated cover of callmetonyo, via
FHM ’s Sexiest Woman Instagram
is here!
geashsison, via Instagram
Classing it up!
I just want to congratulate you for producing an exceptionally classy September issue
(though I might be a bit biased because of how big a fan I am of Jessy Mendiola).
I just finished reading "from the editor" and the cover story for Jessy. Both are well
composed and very informative. Hoping that those bashers will read them.
Anyway, kudos to you guys and thank you so much! God bless and more power!
Homer Rivera, via e-mail
6F & 7F RoBINSoNS
cYBERGaTE cENTER
ToWER 3 pIoNEER
coMplEx, pIoNEER
FHM@SuMMITMEdIa ST., MaNdaluYoNG
/FHM.pH @FHMpHIloFFIcIal /FHMpHIl
.coM.pH cITY 1550

WOrdS: GInyn nOble
pHOTOGrapHy: KUrT alVareZ
V
Verge
HOW TO SOU N D
R EAL SMART
Edited by CHISE ALCANTARA

chise.alcantara@summitmedia.com.ph
S K I L L
Feats of magic
TIred OF dOInG THInGS lIKe a
bOrInG nOrMal perSOn? Open yOUr
eyeS TO THe pOSSIbIlITIeS OF MaGIc
In a world where Kanye’s “Famous” music video gets

called a work of art and Mocha Uson gets called
a journalist, a guy could use some magic in his
life. Grand illusionist and internationally renowned
performer, Kent Oliver, shows us some acts and
tricks that can pay off in some everyday scenarios.
Street magic and illusions may not be as handy
as a time-traveling totem or a legit teleportation
superpower. They won’t be able to save you from
yourself in times when you royally screw something
up. However, having a trick or two up your sleeve
pays off one way or another. Trust us; they work like
magic.
Verge
S K I L L
Sta c ki n g U p Y o U r W H AT YO U N E E D
nUmberS game h a n D S ki l l S
coinS
Ask a pretty lady to sign a card,

and place the card back in the
deck. Use your amazing skills
to teleport the card from the kn i F e
deck to somewhere, like, inside
a piece of fruit or the pocket F r U it
Want to see the magic with your own eyes? catch Master Kent Oliver live on these dates: October 8 - celebrity Sports club, Quezon city; november 6 - Makati
of lady’s jeans. When she asks
m a r ke r
you to repeat the trick, say that
she’ll have to write something
different this time—maybe her Coins aren’t only good for
Shangri-la Hotel; november 19 - Thunderbird casino Hotel, la Union; november 20 - crowne plaza, Ortigas; december 11 - Shangri-la Hotel Makati
phone number? flipping whenever you have to
Important note: No matter make an important life decision
how tempted you are, do not (fries for heads or onion rings
reach into the lady’s back for tails?). Practice palming
pocket—unless you want to get coins enough times and you can
a slap on the face and possibly a make them travel between body
harassment complaint. parts, multiply them, and make
them vanish.
Call on the trio of magician
gods, namely Houdini, Cardini,
Deck oF carDS and Slydini, and you might even
be able to bend coins to your
will. Enjoy your new repurposed
l i g hte r guitar pick or bottle opener,
or gift it to your barkada’s
resident tanggero. Of course,
having a bent coin is also the
ultimate chance to finally get
that loko-lokong, buwis-buhay
jeepney driver in trouble
(“Manong, patay ka kay Duterte,
namemeke ka ng pera!”)
D a b b l i n g w i t h D e at h
You can levitate either
objects or people—just F l o at i n g a p pa r at U S
A grand magic points if you
be careful to keep trick, such as a can go through
supporting rods and death-defying the whole
plates out of sight for escape act, is illusion without
a successful illusion.
not for the faint breaking your
Countless magic exposé
shows (and YouTube)
of heart. When semi-gwapo
may have already you screw composure.)
spoiled the act for your up, you could Want to
audience, so commit to really get hurt, have some
the magic trick, and so take the evil fun with
train your face as well as preparations it? Challenge
your hands. seriously. that obnoxious
Your levitation Master officemate or
charms can be extra Kent considers boss to try the
handy once you figure his death- escape act
out how to do it with defying (“Madali lang
everyday objects in act a great ‘to, pramis!”),
ordinary situations. achievement then trap him
Your backpack, your Fa c i a l e Xp r e S S i o n S and says it in the strait
pasalubong box of teaches you jacket for a
donuts or pizza, or maybe that if you want to like perfect few minutes—
even your girlfriend so baka sakaling
go for something, advice for all the
she’ll never get squished
do it without any torpe guys out magbago na siya,
in the MRT again.
hesitation. Seems there, eh? (Plus sa wakas.

UNBELIEVABLY
LIGHT LIKE AIR!
PREMIERE
AIR
Soft,smooth & extraordinarily
thin condoms to imitate
bare skin contact.
Verge
I N FOG RAPH ICS rICe
Fruits para
healthy rin. Fun
BREAKFAST LUNCH
fact: rice is also a leafy
Meats
Take advantage of fruit! The early cup of Good buffets usually VeGGIes
ulam for maximum coffee actually have a wide range It’s basically just
a really hearty
sulit factor. Also, prepares your of cuisines, with
bacon is life salad
stomach for the different types of
breakfast buffet. “For food. To make the
breakfast I usually most of a kingly
have more hot drinks spread, Medina
rather than cold ones advises to “go by
[to help] with the cuisine.” But don’t
stomach expansion,” do it haphazardly.
says Medina. Also, “Always start out
don’t believe your with the appetizers
parents when they to prep your taste
say that starting with buds [for the
dessert will ruin your next type of]
appetite. Medina
says, “You don't have
to save dessert for
last. Normally, I try
out small servings to
sample everything
since the purpose of
a buffet is to satisfy
your taste buds.”
VeGetaBles
Gulay para
healthy
ChoColate
syrup
chocolate syrup
on everything
for consistency
BaCon
More bacon a.k.a.
dessert bacon
Kain pa!
food,” he
HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OUT continues.
OF BUFFETS AND OPEN BARS Brewed To get your
Coffee money’s worth, be
Just the thing to wise, like Medina.
keep you awake “Never skip on
Have you noticed? Bars and restaurants after the busog-
offering buffet menus have started popping antok creeps in.
specialty foods like
up all over the country. They’re now more baked mussels or
accessible to us food-loving Pinoys. That’s lobster…Usually,
the best news, since every wedding reception, birthday they build most of
party, graduation, and bagong tuli celebration requires an the cost in buffets…
all-you-can-eat/drink fiesta. At those celebrations, you And to allow your
obviously want to make the most out of your gluttony stomach more space, pIZZa
I suggest you take Make your own
experience. Which means your food and beverage WORDS:
four-cheese
choices have to be on point. CHISE ALCANTARA softdrinks with
PHOTOGRAPHY: the meats so you pizza with the
So we asked for help from Kelvin “Zarkman” Medina, premium cheese
MARK JESALVA can burp out the
competitive eater and Guinness World Record holder SPECIAL THANKS TO: ACE selection
(ate a 12” pizza in 23.62 seconds). Here’s what we excess air from your
HOTEL AND SUITES AND
learned from him. SKY HIGH BAR
stomach.”

sIsIG
CrIspy The perfect
pata pasimple dukot
The king of all pulutan since
pulutan no one actually
frIed food notices how
Make sure to much you take
pick the recently
served batch for
that extra flavor
and crispiness
rIBs
Always look for
the prime cuts
with the most
meat. Bones are
for dogs
BaCon
sausaGes
Meat wrapped in,
you guessed it,
more meat!
drInKs
Better not be fooled
by these bright
colored drinks if
you don’t want to
black out.
NIGHT OUT
Having too much
pulutan in a drinking
session is never a
halo-halo bad thing. After all,
Sticking to the Medina says, “You
condiments should never drink on
provided is an empty stomach.”
for noobs. Be That could be your
adventurous; best excuse to
put the entire
seriously chow down
dessert selection;
also ask for the on that crispy pata.
biggest glass As for drinks,
be wary. They might
SAmpLE OUR SpREAD look like fruit shakes

to you, but some
of them come with
If you’re itching to apply what you just learned an ulterior motive.
and enjoy some good food, have a night-out with Medina says, “Be
friends (or just enjoy a swim), drop by Ace Hotel careful about ‘coma
and Suites in Kapitolyo, Mandaluyong. They’ve drinks.’ Their kick
got all the entrées you see on this spread and will sneak up on you
more. Now, excuse us as we readjust our belts later that night when
for the nth time. you least expect it.”
www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial OCTOBER 2016 FH M 19

Cabin fever
FH M
COM ICS
elvis has real world problems in

his virtual fantasy world
#8
alternate
insanity
story and art: melvin CalinGo

P
Pulse
YO U R G U I D E TO
EVERYTHING
TRENDING
Edited by PonG M. CASTillo

pong.castillo@summitmedia.com.ph
MOB
M E NTALITY
Ganging up
on the
bandwagon
Keyboard activism seems liKe a great
idea—until everyone starts to talK
sense into each other and sense is the
first thing to go
WORDS Anne MAri ronquillo • ILLUSTR ATION WArren eSPeJo
Every once in a while,

we see something
Kony in 2012 because the spirit
behind it was so righteous that you
the proBLem because it’s fashionable. A real
“mema*” if we ever saw one.
online that is teeming had to be a monster if you didn’t with The problem with groupthink is
with controversy. It denounce Kony. groupthink that sometimes no one questions
gets people riled up. It And then we started changing whether the “facts” are indeed
gets people speaking. It lights a fire our profile pictures. Twibbons!
is that facts. It’s hard to insert reason in
some people never knew they had Cancer awareness! No to Kony sometimes the picture when a lynch mob is
in them. And then we see similar again! It’s as if campaigns were no one all worked up and ready for action.
* mema: abbreviation for
opinions. “On point.” “My thoughts just another means to express our It’s also possible for the individuals
exactly.” “You hit the nail on the perfectly crafted selves online. questions to lose sight of their own beliefs
“may masabi lang”
head.” Before you know it, Gaston is All is actually well and good whether the because the power of the herd
rounding up the village to attack the until the herd starts to gang up on “faCts” are affects their cognitive bias.
Beast’s castle. somebody. Many people—celebrities Social media activism is great
Social media has the impressive and commonfolk—have fallen victim indeed faCts. when it sparks actual change.
ability to round up a mob in a short to the collective fury of the Internet. Otherwise, it’s just Lord Of The Flies.
amount of time. Everyone hated Sometimes, people are just mad
Mobbed TH e S e peOpLe kNOW WHAT IT’S LI ke TO b e AT TH e R ece IvI Ng e N D OF SOm e ANg Ry vI RTUAL pITcH FOR kS
Christopher Lao “i shouLd have Been informed” J e s s Y m e n d i o L a n e s t o r p u n Z a L a n

This lawyer got flack for his road rant on Not everyone is a fan of this year’s In a very unfortunate case of mistaken
national news in 2011. He got harassed for topnotcher of the 100 Sexiest; her haters identity, Nestor was vilified by the entire
being seemingly entitled and causing his would constantly flood Jessy’s social Internet for a crime he did not commit. It’s
own mishap but has since bounced back media with insults. Fortunately, we’ve got a a good thing his name was cleared and the
and used his fame to propel his law career. confidently sexy cover girl in her. real suspect was identified soon after.
Pulse
CHANG E
HAS
COM E
Will we enjoy the ‘Duterte’ night life?

The rules have changed, folks. Before you go haM* This weekend, iT MighT Be
worTh your TiMe To read up on The new Things ThaT could affecT your nighTlife
Change has indeed come, and it seems that • House Bill No. 1035 was recently filed a.m. No one was allowed outside of their house
things are getting stricter all around under the in Congress and seeks to ban the use of unless authorized by the military. Otherwise,
Duterte Administration. Currently, there are karaoke machines after 10 p.m. in residential you ran the risk of getting caught and being
new laws being proposed and implemented areas. If the bill passes, then your party- detained inside a military camp–or worse.
that might cramp your nocturnal habits. Here’s ending rendition of “Livin’ on a Prayer” will According to retired NGO officer Richard
a rundown of what’s been happening and how have to come a lot earlier in the night. Prado, who was 19 when Martial Law was
they might affect nightlife in the Metro. declared, “for many people, the imposition of
Good or bad? Martial Law was catastrophic, not only in terms
The low-down Kian Kazemi, owner of Kite Kebab Bar in of effectively denying your time to have fun but
Here are some of the things that have Makati, describes the current nightlife crowd: also spreading fear through its suspension of
been implemented and proposed by the “Today's generation has evolved into two human rights guaranteed by the Constitution—
administration: sectors: the party club-goers, who like loud freedom of speech, press, assembly, the
• Strict curfew on minors under “Oplan RoDY” dance music and want to be seen; and the suspension of the writ of habeas corpus (court
(Rid the Streets of Drunkards and Youths). ‘old souls,’ who like to chill over a beer and order to justify imprisonment),” Prado recalls.
Under this operation, minors are not allowed exchange good conversations, with friends... Social gatherings for young people
to be out in public from 10 p.m. to 5 a.m. I think [the new laws will make the nightlife] then, Prado shares, were limited to daytime
unless accompanied by an adult. better,” he says. “We just have to give ample gatherings at public parks and nights spent
• For the grown-ups, however, Duterte time for customers and businesses to adjust.” at friends’ houses listening to the latest hits
mentioned the implementation of nationwide from bands like The Rolling Stones. “It was not
liquor and cigarette bans. The sale and “Like being in a garrison” that fun, though, as we were unable to enjoy
consumption of alcohol in public places A major concern is that under these new rules, our discotheque parties in the evening ‘til early
would be banned after 1 a.m. Smoking history might repeat itself with our social lives morning with our girlfriends,” Prado says.
cigarettes and vaping, meanwhile, would being curtailed the same way our parents’ and “Life for a young student, like many of my
be banned in public areas (including inside grandparents’ were during Martial Law. friends, was like being in a garrison when we
cars) unless it’s done in a designated and Under Marcos’ rule, a strict curfew was had limited time to be together.”
government-approved smoking area. enforced for everyone between midnight and 4 Today, if a minor is detained for breaking
the curfew laws, it’s their parents or guardians
who are penalized. A fine of P2,000 or a
punishment of 48 hours of community service
is given to first-time offenders.
Be like Davao
What’s interesting is that the curfew on minors
and the bans on alcohol, smoking, and karaoke
machines have been in place in Duterte’s
native Davao City for some time under laws
like Ordinances No. 004-13 and No. 043-02.
For Davao locals, such as 23-year-old Pio
Sto. Domingo, the stricter laws haven’t stopped
him or his friends from having fun late at night.
words: Jason Tulio · phoTogr aphy: paul Mondok

He says: “The people of Davao are fine
with the new laws since they have decreased
the number of car accidents and street fights
all across the city. Plus, even though there is
such a ban, the bars in Davao still continue
with their own businesses. I would call it the
moderation rather than ‘banning liquor.’”
According to figures from the Philippine
Statistics Authority, the total number of
reported crimes in Davao City went down by
2,063 from 2010 to 2011.
* hard as a mother fucker
What you can TV show binge

There’s no curfew at home.
Game night
you can go with a classic like
WOWOL
who says you can’t be
Sexual healing
‘coz you can’t get down and
do instead you can finish a whole Monopoly, or something like healthy on a saturday night? dirty with your lady while
season of a Tv show in one cards of humanity for a bit a late-night workout will get you’re out at a club, right?
night if you’re really hooked. of adult flavor. you looking fit for the ladies
the next time you go out.
24 FH M ocToBer 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

L.PH.MKT.CC.09.2015.0029
Pulse
BE
I NSPI R E D
Help yourself out

A couple of self-help books And
An Anthology thAt mAy or mAy
not mend your hurting heArt
Everyone Can Be
Creative
Merlee Cruz-JayMe
If your job involves
imagination and the arts,
you’ll know that sustaining
creativity is ironically one
of the hardest things to do.
After a long day at work,
when it feels like you’re
running on empty, this book
will be just the thing to keep
you motivated to do whatever
you have to do. Who knew
taking advice from an ex-nun
I NSTA-JOB could be so…fun?
Help wanted Hot Sos

Solenn HeuSSaff
Here's more from our August
Where did the clAssified job covergirl! In her health book,
Ads go? Solenn shares how she got
her awesome body (that has
Words: Anne mAri ronquillo · illustr Ation : mAdy mArcelino nothing to do with world-
class genes). The women
in your life will love reading
about Solenn’s workout
Online job hunting has been the norm like LinkedIn, in which the hiring process is routines, diet, and her journey
for the last two decades, at least for more tedious, tend to focus on white-collar, to getting fit. Hey, if you and
employees vying for full-time positions. corporate jobs and is designed to showcase your girl can’t get healthier
But what about the part-timers who are detailed CVs. There are also lot of back- with Solenn cheering you
in-between gigs looking for short-term and-forth formalities between the applicant guys on, we don’t know what
employment? How about freelance and the human resources department. With else you can do.
Words: chise AlcAntAr A · photogr Aphy: mArk jesAlVA

laborers such as painters and carpenters? GrabJobs, one can apply directly for a
Until recently, part-time job position, and even chat with their potential
seekers had to rely on word-of-mouth employers on the spot.
recommendations and the odd ‘TUBERO’ For employers, the benefit of an app Lahat Tayo May
poster here and there. On the Internet, like GrabJobs just lies in the convenience Period at Iba Pang
they probably get some love on it offers. But for blue-collar workers, this Punctuation Marks
Craigslist’s classifieds, but it’s a painful is a game changer. The consumer market roD MarMol
platform for both employee and employer. is a new generation and we are slowly This isn’t your typical hugot
With the success of services such as losing the art of the good ol’ referral and poetry and essay collection.
Uber and GrabTaxi in penetrating a once “I know someone who knows someone” Lahat Tayo May Period takes
technologically desolate transportation spiel. There is an obvious disconnect your cliché metaphors and
market, it’s about time that the market between supply and demand, but that is overused jokes and makes
for odd jobs is given some high-tech now starting to be addressed. them even more cringe-worthy
love. GrabJobs is a Singapore-based job Gone are the days of classified job and addicting to read. While
marketplace that aims to quickly connect ads that come with your broadsheet. light and corny, it’s also
employers to eager employees in the Many people are convinced that ‘tech’ surprisingly insightful. It
blue collar industry. We’re talking retail, is going to leave people out of jobs. A obviously has fun digging into
services, food and beverage, and events. robot apocalypse, will, perhaps. But that ALL BOOKS the seemingly trivial topics
There are no small gigs with apps like isn’t the case here. It seems we’re seeing Are AVAILABLe of heartbreak and bitterness
GrabJobs. an influx of savvy apps that help people and coming up with
This isn’t the first employment app; find business even more. Instead of
AT NATIONAL something we know we’ve
but it’s the first one that makes hiring making employees and workers obsolete, BOOKSTOreS read before but still enjoy
and getting hired extra easy. Other apps apps like these actually empower them. NATIONWIDe reading nonetheless.
26 FH M october 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

Pulse
OPE N I NG
N IG HT
Curtain call
SINGER/ACTRESS KIM MOLINA IS A WORTHY OF A STANDING OVATION
Kim Molina doesn’t the recently concluded

usually do this. musical Rak of Aegis.
She doesn’t always Yes, she was the little
dress in lace lingerie and charming girl with a
mesmerize magazine strong, powerful voice.
readers with her deep Kim alternated with
stares and naughty fellow FHM babe Aicelle
smiles. What Kim Santos, who, Kim says,
usually does, instead, gave her the big shot in
is capture attention on Rak. “We didn’t expect
center stage—belting out [the musical] to be a
high notes before a live long-runner. We did over
audience. 200 shows from 2014 ‘til
It’s an act she’s August of this year,” Kim
perfected over the years says. “I had fun playing
since she started singing the role of Aileen because
at two years old. “First it was relatable to me—
time ko kayo makilala kalog, energetic, mahilig
tapos ito agad suot bumirit. Ako yun, eh.”
ko. Hindi talaga ako Kim didn’t think life
mahiyain, guys, promise!” could go at an even faster
the 25-year-old says. Our pace after that experience.
invitation for Kim to But it did. She snagged
appear on our pages really a film role in the Joyce
came as a surprise to her. Bernal-directed Camp
“I grew up in the Sawi. “Life always has
Middle East, and even its way of surprising
represented the region in me,” says Kim. “Na-
the World Championships cast ako kasama ang
of the Performing Arts in mga experienced at,
Los Angeles, California,” ehem, naggagandahang
Kim shares. “I was artista na sina Andi
awarded Senior Grand [Eigenmann], Arci
Champion Vocalist of the [Muñoz], Bela [Padilla],
World.” That was in 2009. and Yassi [Pressman].
When Kim flew back to Sobra yung kaba ko!”
the Philippines to take up Although she was already
music in college, she did an accomplished theater
not plan to hit the ground actress by then, Kim
running. “I was actually still thought to step up
set to go back to Saudi, her game in front of the
where I live with my camera. “Camp Sawi was
parents who are dentists.” eye-opening for me as an
But before leaving her artist. Ibang set of skills
theater dreams behind to ang kailangan. Hindi
pursue the medical field, pwede yung theater-
Kim auditioned in the Viva Atlantis-produced
Disney’s Tarzan. Long story short, she got CAMP SAWI TIP overacting ko. Natututo ako umarte nang
simple—because that worked better in TV
in and successfully debuted her career as a Th e c u r e fo r a b r o ke n and film. It was fun! Hindi pa ako sanay, but
professional theater performer. From 2013 I’m learning.”
through 2015, Kim seemed to do the rounds of
h e a rT, a c c o r d i n g To Nope, Kim Molina doesn’t usually do
musical theater productions in Manila. k i m m o l i n a: this—dabbling in many different things for
Leading Lady and Manhid: The Superhero the first time. But we know that with her
Musical. “merloT and obvious talent and skill set, reaching for the
But what gave Kim her biggest break
in theater was her lead role—Aileen— in cheese. cheers!” stars will soon become a regular thing for
her.

PHOTOGR APHY:
RiA ReGinO
Of fAT CAT STudiO
ST YLinG : Be A SORiAnO
ASSiSTed BY
JuSTine RiGueR And
SAndY AdvinCuL A
MAKeuP: MiKKA MARCAidA
HAiR : GeR ALd MAGTiBAY
Pulse
G
Gent
B e a
l ad i eS’ Man
Edited by CECILE JUSI-BALTASAR

cecilejbaltasar@gmail.com
WHaT i
KnOW
aBOUT
The black sheep of philippine
WO MEN showbiz, Baron Geisler,
doesn’t relish his celebrity
status. he’s come a long way
since making teen girls of the
1990s swoon in Tabing ilog.
Today, public brawls aside,
he pursues multiple arts in
Charmed and its varied forms, like painting

and authoring a book. still,
tabloids like to describe Baron
dangerous
as a brusque bad boy—and no
doubt it’s part of his appeal—
and ignore the fact that he
subscribes to a surprisingly
conventional approach to love
There’s more To Baron Geisler Than and dating. now older and
wiser, the child actor-turned-
punches and acTinG awards indie star sets the record
straight.
PHOTOGRAPHY Smart is sexy

eJaY leUnG “people don’t know that i’m
OF MidniGHT BOnKeRS very old school. i do not fuck
INTERVIEW around. if women try to text
VicTORia VizcaRRa
me or dm me in social media,
MAKEUP
i give them godly advice
anne caSTaÑO
rather than fucking them. i
have a particular thing about
my women; i like them very
smart—i’m a sapiosexual.”

Gent
“love me or hate me. That’s it.

Just be yourself. Be the badass that you are.”
If you realize you’re dating are smart. If they don’t like you, ganda. So kailangan tanggalin mo For instance, kapag may sakit, ang
someone on the crazy side, yun lang yun. Love me or hate yung pagkamanyak at pagka- [pain] tolerance ng babae sobrang
but still love her, you have to me. That’s it. Just be yourself. Be creepy ng mga lalaki. [taas]. They’re goddesses. They’re
at least try to make it work. the badass that you are.” more intelligent than men. I love
“Dating is fake sometimes, because Respect is paramount, women. I like hearing their voices,
eventually you get to know yung Give them something to especially if you want to stay [so] I don’t play around anymore. I
ugali ng taong dine-date mo at remember you by. friends with your exes. learn from them.”
magugulat ka na lang na she has “Be yourself, but love them “I respect my exes, kaya okay kami,
this fucking weird personality. And steadily, and make love to them kasi we can laugh after a radical Don’t be pressured into
you may get disappointed. [Pero [so] that they'll never forget experience or experiment, or ano marriage just because friends
since] mahal mo pa rin sila and your name after sex. I don’t man ang tawag mo sa pagiging are getting hitched left and
you have to deal with it. We have use women. I make them really kayo. Respect lang talaga, yun right.
to try to make it work, no matter happy. I have good speech—I eat ang pinakaimportante, hindi lang “I will never get married because I
what happens. We’re not gods, so them a lot. I respect them. I think sa babae. Sa lahat ng tao.” do not like the lifestyle. I know sa
trust your heart, I guess.” women should be respected, and sarili ko na I’m not that kind of guy,
eventually, kapag magkatabi na Learn from your partner. and I don’t want to disappoint my
You do you. kayo sa kama, that’s when you “I can’t be alone. A woman drives partner o magsinungaling sa kanya.
“Show your real attitude, yung satisfy them.” me to become a better man, [Marriage is] not for everyone. I just
tamang ugali mo. So that at the so tama yung [kasabihan na,] want to be myself. Ayokong lokohin
end of the day, hindi sila maninisi Nobody loves a creeper. ‘Behind every successful man is a siya o ang sarili ko.”
na niloko mo sila. If you trick them “Tanggalin mo yung libog, and then woman.’ Nagagalit ang ibang mga
sa ugaling hindi ikaw at malaman you will see the woman. You will lalaki pag nalaman nila na mas
nila, they will fuck you up. Women see her like an angel na sobrang matapang pa ang babae sa kanila.

D A T I N G
A 2014 study done by psychologists at the University of York

in the UK suggests that a person’s facial features could greatly
affect how someone perceives you. They sampled a thousand
How to ruin a (possible) different mugs and found that the mouth is key to approachability;
the eyes and eye area, for youth and attractiveness; eyebrow
height, cheek and eye gradient, and skin saturation for dominance.
In order to appear likeable—especially if you’re deadset on
earning your first right swipe on Tinder or landing a match in
date with one photo similar dating apps—you have to strike the right balance between
10 profile pics you should never use on your social media these three traits using just your pic. But rather than telling you
the right way to do it, we think it’ll be more effective to show you
if you want to catch your first right swipe the wrong way to do it.
Here are 10 profile pics you should never use on social media
Words ALEX PAITA · ILLUsTrATIoNs BORG SINABAN if you want to catch a date.
2
1
No default An inanimate
photo object
Action figures, food, a car
The worst dP is not having
that’s not even yours—for
a dP. Unless you’re a troll
chrissakes, grow some
or a tito still learning the
balls and show your face
ropes of social media, you
to the world.
have to have one, stat.
3
Anything 4
heavily Passport-type
Photoshopped photo
A few color retouches only acceptable if you’re
here and there is fine. trying to score a date with
Biceps twice the size of a hot immigration officer.
your head isn’t.
6
You with a
5 group
Your mug with Woman: “Are you the tall
a Snapchat guy in the brown suit?
cat filter You’re cute!”
You: “Thanks! But that’s
sooo cute. Yet so my brother-in-law. I’m
unmanly. the chubby dude in the
orange sando.”
Woman: *seen Thu
11:37pm.*
7
Any photo
with someone
obviously 8
cropped out You with any
Is that your ex-girlfriend? lethal weapon
Your mom? An old pal
turned nemesis? Chances It’s fine for as long as you
are, whoever that is you don’t take “you have killer
took out, you owe them looks” as a compliment.
some money. And obvious
baggage does not look
good on your profile.
9
10
You in trunks …or you
or anything that shows submerged in
you bereft of an upper water
garment, no matter how
carved your midsection What are you, regine
is. Going bare-chested Angeles circa 2011?
only proves two things: 1) Whatever you do, never
You really do workout; 2) ever attempt to strike a
You’re that desperate to model pose. You’ll thank
let the world know. yourself for it.

Gent
Pinoy rom-coms say that love and destiny win every time over control-
obsessed parents, opposing socio-economic backgrounds, random
meetings, and, yes, ugliness. But our cynical hearts know better. You can’t
really expect to find love by meeting a stranger on a plane and asking
them to go on a tryst to Baguio and Sagada, right?
Even though many issues ago, we upheld the wisdom of Pinoy
romcoms in boosting your love lives (June 2014), we thought it would
be wise to make this wordy public service announcement., just in case
your girl is on the naïve side and pegged One More Chance as your
relationship goals. We'd like to set the record straight for both your sakes.
1 A Very Special Love, 2008 4 A Second Chance, 2015

Sarah Geronimo, John Lloyd Cruz John Lloyd Cruz, B ea A l on z o
1 4 Plot: Laida has been in love Plot: The long awaited sequel
with Miggy ever since she can follows Popoy and Basha as they
remember. Once she gets a job navigate through the minefield
as an editorial assistant in Miggy’s that is married life.
new magazine, the two inevitably The Myth: Relationships are
form a bond, which would hard—ball-crushingly hard.
eventually blossom into love. The Reality: Well. This movie
The Myth: Love is always gives a fairly good depiction of
possible between a person and married life, but what it doesn’t
their longtime crush/idol. say is that communication makes
The Reality: More often than it easier. Being married isn’t for
not, human heroes will end up the faint of heart. But if you can
disappointing their worshippers. successfully sidestep all the
Remember: It’s already hard mines, the rewards are great and
enough to meet one’s longtime the payoff long lasting.
crush/idol, let alone get them to
fall in love with you. 5 Here Comes the Bride,
2010
2
2 Four Sisters and a Angelica Panganib an , E u g en e
5
Wedding, 2013 Domingo, Tom Rod ri g u ez
Enchong Dee Plot: Stefanie’s soul goes into
Plot: CJ and his fiancee's Precy’s body, and is stuck for
families can’t stand each other. the next two years. Meanwhile,
So his four older sisters set out to Stefanie’s fiancé, Harold, has
sabotage the wedding plans. to come to terms with his new
The Myth: Love can survive even (albeit temporary) fiancée's look.
if your families hate each other’s guts. The Myth: If it’s true love, the guy
The Reality: If one’s family will wait for the girl no matter how
doesn’t approve of the other, long–and regardless of looks.
it’s going to be really hard–it’s The Reality: If a man wants
already difficult with agreeable freshly squeezed juice, a woman
families. But if the families are can’t expect him to be happy with
mutually disgusted? Real-life aged wine. Both are great, but
couples would probably break up timing and circumstances greatly
under the pressure—or elope. affect how each will be received.
3 My Big Love, 2008 6 Miss You Like Crazy, 2010

3 6 Toni Gonzaga, Sam Milby John Lloyd Cruz, B ea A l on z o
Plot: Overweight chef Macky Plot: Allan and Mia meet and
enlists personal trainer Aira to lose start falling for each other when
weight so he can finally catch his an old mystic predicts that they
D A T I N G neighbor's eye. Eventually, both will end up together within five
realize their relationship is more than years no matter how difficult
just one of client-trainer.
Don’t look for love

things look at the moment.
The Myth: Love between a client The Myth: A happy ending has
and customer will totally work. been predetermined for young
in Pinoy rom-coms
The Reality: Forging an affair people in love.
from a professional relationship is The Reality: With apologies
tricky, especially if the participants to all poets and romance writers
are both from the corporate from time immemorial, there is no
Because you are not—and never will world. Aira and Macky aren’t, so such thing as fate, and there is no
the risks are relatively low for invisible hand guiding you and your
Be—John lloyd cruz them. But some people seeing predestined partner to each other.
this movie are, and may end up
with lovestruck notions that can
WORdS Pau aRaos · ILLUSTRATIONS JaMEs aNDREs potentially ruin their careers.

Sex DO S S IER
Roommates
When living With someone
means getting more than you
bargained for
Aliya Ileto, 24
Taguig
10:00 p.m.
I closed the door of the condo and leaned against it with a sigh,
home early for a change. Things have been crazy at the agency
lately, and this was the first time I was home before midnight in
a couple of weeks. All I wanted to do was pour myself a glass
of wine and watch mindless TV while lying in my bed. I kicked
my heels off and started plodding to the kitchen when I heard—
was that a moan?
I quickly figured out that the sound was coming from my
roommate’s bedroom—her door was slightly ajar, so sounds
weren’t entirely muffled. I blushed, realizing what was going
on in there. Teresa had probably gotten so used to having our
shared apartment all to herself that she didn’t bother to keep
the noise level down.
“Oh, god!” I heard her cry out, and that was my cue to shut
myself in my bedroom.
But instead, for some inexplicable reason, I found myself
drawn to her room. The closer I got, the clearer the sounds
became—the panting, the slapping of skin against skin,
Teresa’s fevered moans, and her boyfriend talking dirty. I’d
been so busy at work that I hadn’t had time for anything
resembling a love life, or even a good, quick lay. Maybe it was
my exhaustion or all the stress or just plain horniness, but I
couldn’t resist the urge to take a peek.
I looked into the room through the crack and saw my
PHOTOGRAPHY: KEVIN CAYUCA
gorgeous roommate going at it with her equally gorgeous

boyfriend. Teresa has been a head-turner since forever, a
seductive face with a voluptuous body. I always joked that she him. I now had a perfect view of her insane body as she lowered herself
was my girl crush back in college when we first met. Her man, Matt, onto Matt’s waiting dick. She started riding him hard, her hands running
was a model who had appeared in a few ads for the agency I worked through her hair, her tits bouncing with every pump. I had never been
for (usually without his shirt on). Together, they make one hell of a hot seriously attracted to girls, but I briefly wondered what it would be like
couple. to suck on those breasts.
But I had never seen them looking hotter. They were on the bed, It seemed that Matt had the exact same thought as he reached
giving me a side view of the action. Teresa was on all fours and Matt up to squeeze Teresa’s nipples, before sitting up and licking her tits. It
was kneeling behind her perfectly round ass, his hands on her hips. As looked like this was going to send Teresa—and me—over the edge. Her
Matt’s cock rhythmically pummeled into Teresa, her massive breasts pumping got more urgent, her moans got louder. “Oh god, yes! Yes!
swung freely from side to side. I could feel myself immediately getting Yes!” screamed Teresa. I held on to the doorframe with my other hand
wet. I hitched up my dress and pushed my panties aside, teasing my to keep me steady as two seconds later, I felt my pussy pulse around
moist lips with a finger. When I was sufficiently wet, I eased one finger my fingers. I couldn’t stop myself from letting out a cry of pleasure.
into me, then two, sliding them in and out, slowly at first, building up Immediately realizing what I just did, I quickly looked up to see Teresa
until I matched the pace of Teresa and Matt’s fucking. scrambling out of bed. I started running for my room.
Matt leaned forward and grabbed a fistful of Teresa’s hair, pulling “Aliya! What the hell!” she yelled as she yanked the door wide open.
her head back and planting a rough kiss on her. “Do you wanna cum “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” she demanded.
baby?” he asked her. “I’m sorry, I—“ I stammered, wishing the ground would open up and
“No, no, not yet!” said Teresa, breaking away from him and pushing swallow me whole.
him down on the bed. I got a glimpse of his huge dick standing erect in “Next time we leave the door open,” she said as she walked
the seconds before Teresa hungrily took him in her mouth. deliberately toward me, “feel free to come in,” she ended, her face
“Oh baby, no one sucks cock like you do!” moaned Matt. I had to softening and breaking into a wicked grin.
agree—Teresa was on that cock like a pro, and watching her felt like “Wait, what—“ I began, confused, as she took my hand, and led me
watching the best quality HD porn. I was so turned on that I could feel to her room.
my slick juices on my thighs. My fingers were working furiously. God, I She didn’t let go of me as she gave Matt a sensual kiss. “Ready for
wished I had my vibrator. round two, baby?” she asked him.
Teresa stopped sucking and hitched one leg over Matt, straddling We didn’t bother to close the door.

THE
ORIGINAL
SIN PHOTOGRAPHY
M A R K N I CDAO
WORDS
ALL A N P. HER NA N D EZ
LOVI P OE
U N LEAS H E D
IN US THE
PRIMAL
U RG E TO
WORS H I P
HER
STYLING
C AT H S O B R E V E G A
ASSISTED BY
RIRI VERANO
AJ DUYO
ARRAH NUGUID
JOCHEGUERRERO
MAKEUP
CRISTINE DUQUE
HAIR
E T H A N D AV I D
for JED ROOT MANILA
SPECIAL THANKS TO
M R . L E O V. D O M I N G U E Z
O F LV D M A N A G E M E N T ,
AND KENT OLIVER FOR
THE SNAKES
GOD.
G E NE S I S 3 :1 4 , 3 :1 5 —
“BECAUSE YOU HAVE DONE

THIS, CURSED ARE YOU
AMONG ALL ANIMALS
and among all wild creatures; upon your
belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat
all the days of your life.
“I will put enmity between you and the
woman, and between your offspring and
hers; he will strike your head, and you
will strike his heel.”
Because the serpent said she could eat
of the forbidden fruit, and the woman ate,
and gave some to her husband who ate as
well, and man blamed woman, and woman
blamed serpent—God, who is not supposed
to get pissed, was pissed, right at the very
beginning of time, and the rift between
woman and serpent happened, as well as
all the other things that supposedly make
the world we know now, wicked.
Seeing what we’ve done here, have
we defied God by reconciling serpent
and woman? No. (If God doesn’t think
so, He isn’t saying). But we admit to
the weakness of man in the presence of
woman, similar to the story of the fall,
because we let Lovi Poe have her snake
and the apple, and with them, what they
symbolize: seduction, temptation, the
original sin. She wanted it, so we gave in.
And we were pleased.
Here’s the backstory:
Originally, Lovi and her people
wanted Cleopatra. But we didn’t want
the pomp associated with the temptress
of Egypt. We wanted fewer distractions.
BLACK ONE-PIECE LINGERIE FROM MIX SUPETRAN;
We wanted Lovi purer; just her. We could

have a snake, they said, because it looked
glamorously sinister. We probably could,
we said, amused by the idea that we could
be so into animals—last we had Lovi on
SHOES FROM CHRISTIAN LOBOUTIN
the cover, she was with an elephant. Also,

a snake had killed Cleopatra.
Then somewhere along the way, we
began to take the snake more seriously.
And when we finally got around to
getting one, we didn’t just settle for a
slinky little asp (what had ended Cleo’s
life), we gave her a hulking, reticulating
Burmese python, one of five largest
species of snake. Then we threw in the
apple. Not only had we gone insane, we
went Biblical.
“I’ve had shoots with snakes before, but never like this. breeze through it, and she did. Also, now that we think of
I’ve never had to wrap one around me like that. Ang bigat it, the themes of temptation, seduction, and the original sin
niya!” Lovi recalls the suffering behind the art. “But I just seemed to just come naturally, as though Lovi were these
let the snake go and executed the poses we had planned things. To our fault, we never actually bothered to ask if
(with Mark Nicdao). Snakes are not really one of my primal she were comfortable with these themes.
fears. I’m much more afraid of heights. Shooting atop a “No, I like to show these images [we have as our theme],
skyscraper would definitely not be a first option for me.” but it’s just an image I exude,” says Lovie. “I don’t know
(Although as a side note, she did do a small-scale version why people think of me in the way they see me when I pose
of it: in one of the final scenes of the 2013 Cinemalaya for a magazine, but sometimes I like to think that I’m the
movie Sana Dati, she teetered on the edge of a building, exact opposite. Honestly, I may look like this onscreen, I
contemplating suicide, with Paolo Avelino holding her may pose like this on magazines, but I’m really very shy.
back.) People would say, ‘she’s such a flirt’, ‘she shows too much
We must say this of Lovi: she is real steel. skin’, but honestly, if you ask the people I’m close with,
And yet in a way, we sort of expected it from her. they’ll say that I’m very shy. But I guess what I can say is, I
Lovi exudes a strong aura of mystery and danger that can probably seduce a guy with my awkwardness.”
we almost never flinched at the idea of subjecting her to And so we come to the first mystery of Lovi Poe: she is,
something difficult as this; we somehow knew she would in reality, probably none of the things we think she is.

DEVIL.
T H E D E VI L’S ADVO C ATE (1 997 )—
“VANITY. DEFINITELY MY FAVORITE SIN.”
The best part of the movie, essentially the story of the devil you’d think that it’s all what Lovi does. But it isn’t.
trying to bring forth the Antichrist by getting his son and “I can’t blame them, since the only way they can connect to
daughter— half-siblings, both lawyers—to copulate (makes you or to know about you is through social media. Sometimes
sense), was when Satan launches into a speech justifying it’s sad that they think it’s how you live your life. For
his existence. Among other things, Satan says that while example, I don’t like posting all the good deeds that I do—you
God was a prankster and absentee landlord, he had always know what I mean? But some people will think that you’re
been a fan of humanity, nurturing their instincts. His insensitive that you aren’t doing these things. I just feel that
favorite was self-love, there are some things
probably because it that you shouldn’t
is the fount of all the brag about.”
other baser instincts. People can be
Which kind of nice, they can be very
reminds us now of mean at times, she
social media. says.
It’s a platform “That’s already a
of confusion, where given. Okay naman.
self-love is also I can bear with it.
sharing one’s life, I get a lot of flak
where vanity masks about my boobs not
itself as humility, being big enough.
where barbed But I actually like it
opinions are straight this way. I used to
facts. Appearances have big boobs when
seem to be the norm I was younger, but
on social media, that when I lost so much
TWO-PIECE FROM BOOM SASON; SHOES FROM ALEXANdER MCqUEEN;

often, we perceive the weight, sumama rin
life that people lead, siya. Basically, they
especially the famous weren’t boobs; they
ones, according to were fat, ha ha!
their feeds. “But you don’t
She’s been on have to say it to me
it since 2011, and because I know it’s
has thus far logged something I’m not
5,000+ posts, blessed to have and
which, by her own I’m fine with it. If it
admission, is a lot. “I doesn’t bother me, it
love promoting my shouldn’t bother you.
shows. But mostly I I’m very lucky to be
just post anything surrounded by good
that I want. I don’t friends. I want to be
really plan on it, I around people who’ll
just go with what I help me grow, who’ll
ACCESSORIES FROM MEL
feel, which doesn’t encourage me to be a

really go well with better person. I don’t
some people. But trust people who talk
then, I don’t really about other people. I
care so I just go with try to avoid them.”
it,” Lovi says. And so we come to
There are travel the second mystery
photos, foodie photos, of Lovi Poe: She
and a lot of sexy doesn’t live the life
photos. If you spend a you think she leads.
lot of time looking at
other people’s feeds,

LONG GOWN BY POPO GO; ANTIqUE CROWN BY JUN ABLAZA;
NECKLACES BY NATALIA LAGdAMEYO

SWEATSHIRT FROM H&M; SHOES FROM ALAIA PARIS

VINTAGE JEWELRY BY JUN ABLAZA
SNAKE.
F HM LOVI P O E S HO O T—
“CURSSSSSSSSSSSES.
THIS IS HARD WORK!”
So that’s how a tamed Burmese python
works show business. When it’s in its
right element, it slithers around a body
as though poised to swallow it whole,
although its nature is to hide and wait
for its prey. But when she comes out of
character she just freezes, and as Lovi was
handling her around her shoulders it’s as
though she is in suspended animation. It’s
a curious sight.
The way Lovi works on the set of her
latest GMA teleserye Someone To Watch
Over Me is a picture of carefree ease—at
least that must have been the requirement
for the scene she was shooting with
actor Tom Rodriguez, who plays her
husband. She is in flip-flops and wearing a
comfortable oversized gray top and white
shorts. Lovi makes for the perfect wife and
it makes you think how terrible it must be
for her, the way the story is plotted out,
that the husband will suddenly be afflicted
with Alzheimer’s disease and she must care
for him.
She is also doing a movie with Derek
Ramsay, The Escort, where she plays the
complete opposite of a wife: An escort. A
woman paid for sex.
Again, appearances. It makes Lovi Poe
all the more unfathomable.
“Lovi, to be honest, you strike us as a
VINTAGE BANGLES BY JUN ABLAZA; SHOES FROM ALAIA PARIS

person who will not get married.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’re probably as guilty as everyone
else for thinking your life is what we see
you do on social media, but you seem to be
the type of person who will stay single for
as long as you possibly can.”
Lovi ruminates on this.
“I enjoy my freedom. It’s really very
important to me. I grew up independent.
For me, marriage is not an option until
I find the right person and I’ve achieved
everything I want as an individual. I
wouldn’t want to get married because I
have to, or because society says so. Of
course the right person is definitely not
the perfect one. But then eventually if
you’re lucky you’ll find the perfect person
for you. Love is an amazing feeling, but at
some point it becomes a choice. I would use
my heart and be smart about it.”
And so we come to the third and final
mystery of Lovi Poe: she’ll know it when
she sees you. FH M
GOWN BY GEN VELASqUEZ
Chito Mir anda is still the kid
he was when Parokya ni Edgar
first took the stage at Club Dredd
23 years ago—except that he now
thinks paying bills is a fun way to
spend an afternoon
S
EA Y
ROCKER WORDS CECILE JUSI-BALTASAR
PHOTOGRAPHY JONATHAN BALDONADO

The highlight of Chito Miranda’s day is at 4 p.m. when appeal sa akin: sobrang bagal ng buhay dito.”
he takes his two dogs out for a walk around the Chito isn’t retired, however; not for a long time. In
village where he lives with his heavily pregnant wife, fact, Parokya ni Edgar is launching its ninth studio
Neri Naig. album—Pogi Years Old—this month. Coming five years
He also likes to go out and pay the bills, ride his after their last one, it’s packed with 21 new tracks,
bike, then if inspiration hits, hang out with his guitar definitely worth the wait.
in an empty lot a few blocks from his house. But today, Chito is more occupied with playing with
Life has significantly slowed down for the ultra his customized slingshot—with stainless steel ball
charismatic frontman of the 23-year-strong rock band bearings as projectiles, because rough pebbles are
Parokya ni Edgar. But here’s the irony: he’s always for amateurs. His other toys include a collection of
preferred this provincial existence over the fast-paced guns, knives, axes, katanas, and vintage vinyl records.
one of his youth. (Surviving the zombie apocalypse to the music of
“You always want the opposite of what you have,” Diana Ross and Barbra Streisand? It’s something
Chito says. “I always imagined that I would retire apparently only Chito appreciates.)
at the beach. Pero napansin ko na sa beach, mainit It’s something Parokya’s head-banging fans don’t
pala pag tumatagal. So naka-aircon din ako sa room see when they watch Chito do his thing. But, really
habang hinihintay na lumamig sa labas. The novelty they don’t need to look too closely. Once they watch
of the sun and sand, masarap lang pag bakasyon. him spew out his songs and listen to his jokes, they’ll
But where I live now, you never get tired of the cool realize that Chito is still the same fun-loving man-
weather. And you have nothing to do here but ride child who, at 17, first stepped up onstage with his
your bike, walk the dogs, and do errands. Yun yung friends to change Pinoy rock forever.
Do you realize that you have two nako, yung daddy ko nakikisabay sa na talaga kasi yun na yung mundo
generations of fans now? People akin makinig ng Parokya.” Ang saya. namin ngayon eh. Forty na ako, so
your age who grew up with you, and Knowing that you have a multi- yung experiences that we will talk
their kids (if they had kids in their generational audience, do you about onstage are the experiences
early 20s). adjust your jokes onstage to suit we’re going through now.
Sobrang nakakatuwa yon. When we everyone? The kids must see you as vintage
play in high schools, ang feeling We still try to make every show fun rock tstars.
namin, parang 1999 pa rin. It’s and pilyo. Pag gago yung banda, the They see us as mga tito nilang
always a pleasure to play for the kids. parents and the kids will like it. Pero makukulit who they’re excited to
And then we’d see tweets na, “Hay karamihan sa jokes namin, pang-tito play with. Yung mga Sponge Cola,

Urbandub, sila yung mga kaklase na How have backstage activities on a 10-day break, the last thing on
cool. Kami yung mga tito o teacher na changed for Parokya? our mind is to write songs. Kailangan
cool. As long as The Dawn and Side When we were kids, we all wanted to talaga naming mag-set aside ng time
A are there, sila yung titingnan na live on the edge. We were 17 years to write songs. And the problem with
matatanda. Kami nila Ely [Buendia] old then. Gusto namin maingay, that is, hindi naman basta darating
at Rico [Blanco] pa rin yung mga bata magulo. We loved the attention and yung mga kanta. It will take three or
when The Dawn and Side A are around. the girls. We’d get drunk and wasted, four sessions bago kayo makasulat
Vinci [Montaner, vocals] has left the we’d mess up hotel rooms. On tour, ng kanta that you honestly think is
group a few times and returned. Is we’d do everything na pwede namin beautiful and worth recording.
he back now? gawin. People imagine that it’s still You’ll be a father in a month. Will
Yes, he’s back. Hindi niya gets how all party backstage at a Parokya gig. you be a chill one?
important he is to the band. Feeling Pero ngayon, wala nang ganun. After Modesty aside, I think I’ll be a good
niya, back-up lang siya, that it won’t gigs, babalik lang kami sa hotel and father. I’ve always known how to
matter if he’s absent or not. But we go to sleep. take care of children, since ako yung
miss him when he’s gone. While Do you miss the chase back when youngest sa amin. Ako ang taga-palit
everyone’s so serious about our craft, you were young and free? ng diaper ng mga pamangkin ko,
Vinci goes and does something to No. It’s normal for boys to chase after taga-burp. My kid will have a playmate
distract us from being too serious. girls. But when you get older, your in me. And as a husband? Mabait din
Siya yung nagbibigay ng ka-weirduhan priorities change. Breasts become ako. Tanungin niyo si Neri.
sa banda. I have to keep reminding insignificant at some point. They’re Can we look forward to 23 more
him how much we appreciate him. still fun to look at, but no longer years of Parokya?
Your bandmates are also your worth the trouble. Yes. There’s no danger of disbanding.
closest friends. Aren’t you sick of Twenty-three years on, how have If I’m going to keep doing this, I want
each other yet after more than two you evolved as an artist? to keep working with my bandmates.
Hindi na ako masyadong bossy But if we do decide to stop, I’d rather
ngayon. I used to insist on requiring we quit together as a band than to
from [my bandmates] the same level of disband and continue doing gigs
commitment that I had for the band. separately. Because once I quit, it will
Dati, gusto ko pag nag-rerecording be because I want to get out of this
ako, pag nagmi-mix, nandun din sila lifestyle and just stay home with my
kahit wala silang gagawin in that family. But I won’t quit, because I’m
particular piece. Para equal amount still having fun. FH M
of effort. But when we got older,
I realized how stressful that was.
Ngayon, darating na lang kami sa Yung mga
studio pag kailangan na kami. So wala
ng stress. Sponge Cola,
The 27 Club—musicians that
have died at 27—hasn’t stopped Urbandub,
recruiting. How have you avoided
giving in to vices that are, no doubt,
sila yung mga
in abundance in the rock and roll kaklase na
world?
We now do it at our own slower pace. cool. Kami
Dati, three gigs per night. Ngayon
we ask management to give us at yung mga tito
least 10 days in a month to rest.
Pero hindi naman yung gigs yung
o teacher na
nakaka-burnout, eh. The gigs are the cool. As long
fun part; that’s the highlight of our
work. But the constant travelling, as The Dawn
staying in hotel rooms, living out
of a suitcase, being away from your and Side A are
family—yun yung nakaka-burn-out.
Yun yung papatay sayo.
there, sila yung
Tell us about your new album.
Everybody thinks we’ve stopped
titingnan na
recording. But really, we started matatanda.
recording this new album a month or
two after we released our last album— Kami nila Ely
decades of performing together? five or six years ago. The single we just
Sawang-sawa na talaga kami sa isa’t released—“Lagi Mong Tatandaan”— [Buendia] at
isa. We’ve been friends for more than
half our lives. So we try our best to
was recorded five years ago.
Why’d it take so long?
Rico [Blanco] pa
stay away from each other when we Because gigs are practically all we do. rin yung mga
don’t have work. We all have our That’s where we earn. Sometimes, we
separate lives. Pero solid na solid pa go three straight weeks just doing bata when The
rin yung samahan namin. Barkada gigs, going on tour. So when we get a
talaga kami. two-day rest from gigs, we’d rather go Dawn and Side A
home instead of record songs. Even are around’
TAMING THE
STORM W haT i s i T
R E a l ly l i k E
i n B aTa n E s
duRing
TyphOOn
s E as O n? a n
i vaTa n naT i v E
T E l ls u s h OW
h E R pEOplE
ha n d l E d
FERdiE
sTO Ry an d Mai n p h OTO G LAdyS MAE Z AbALA AR G oN ZA

as TO l d TO CH I S E ALCANTARA W iTh a d d iT i nal p h OTO s F R O M oPAL bALA

W h e n d u s k h a d s et o n B a s c o o n tu e s d ay,
September 14, I remember it was an intense kind of fiery red. The
elders said that a burning sunset like that almost always indicated
that the storm that would come after would be as powerful. Ferdie
was on its way. We already knew that because PAGASA had said so.
But then, we didn’t need the weather report. Because Batanes is a
waypoint for typhoons, every Ivatan was taught early how to look at
and listen to the weather: the sunset, the sea, the migrating birds,
the wind.
Especially the wind. In Batanes, typhoons are not about the rains;
it’s about the wind.
As children, we knew the blessings the wind of the Pangaditan,
coming from the east, brought to our crops and our waters.
Everything is calm and gentle. We were wary of the dangers that
accompanied the winds of Avayat, coming from the west, when the
waters are rough.
Dusk was on fire, but earlier that day the weather was extremely
fine. Now that I think about it, it’s kind of funny how the next day
turned out. In the news they said it was one of the strongest storms and tie them down to the ground.
that hit Batanes, and it was. And the damage in the aftermath was But if you think there is a sense of
formidable, and that was also correctly reported. But in the manner foreboding on days before the coming
of a typhoon, you’re wrong.
of the Ivatans, who take pride in taming storms, it was also just It’s often business as usual in
another day in our lives—only, there was a little more to fix and clean Batanes on those days. Stores are
up after. As we Ivatans say, “Alialit na pa.” Like always. open and transportation is not stalled.
And this is what I’d like to note early on: Batanes may need Although classes are suspended
help—it may be devastated in places—but we are resilient. We always according to the rules of the
Department of Education, the province
survive. Storms are like always. This is what Batanes looks like in often applies it on an as-needed basis.
typhoon season. Even though many of you think that we live in fear Once, there was a Typhoon Signal no. 4
and constant hardship because of this, we don’t. To us, on the next but somehow Basco didn’t feel the wind
day the weather will always be fine, and we keep on keeping on. was that strong so school went on for
natuRaL suRVIVaLIsts
Batanes is always prepared for a
storm, whether it is arriving today or
not until the coming months.
You must have heard about our
iconic vernacular houses, whose roofs
are made of cogon but whose walls are
fortified with limestone, and how their
windows are always oriented away
from where the Avayat blows. But most
of us live in fairly modern concrete
structures now, and how we get ready
for typhoons is much more survivalist-
like.
For example, we have storm
shutters in our houses, which are
really just wooden boards and planks
to shut our windows. Some of the
smaller, older houses would also have
their roofs tied securely by ropes.
Others would sandbag their entrances.
Every family always has canned
goods, rice, potable water, candles, and
arayu (dried fish) kept in storage for
when bad weather comes.
Farmers would make sure that
they’ve harvested all the wakay and uvi
(root crops) they can. Some fishermen
would pull up their boats from shore
The fury of an untamed typhoon: Basco, Batanes is a picture of destruction in the aftermath of Typhoon Ferdie.

the day. The streets would usually have
teenagers playing and singing along to the WInd
a guitar or elderfolk drinking.
No real evacuation plans are set chanGes PLace
in motion in Batanes, because we
don’t need it (although, obviously, this
is government policy). You will not There was something different with
hear warning sirens. There is no talk the wind.
of relief goods or government help I said that the windows of
because, frankly, knowing how far we traditional Batanes houses are always
are from the mainland, we don’t expect oriented away from where the strong
to get any help. Again, not that we need winds blow. The modern houses are no
it, natural survivalists that we are. different. That night, as Ferdie began
The day before Ferdie arrived, the to make his presence felt, we could feel
weather was fine. Nakaligo pa nga and hear the wind coming from the
ako sa ulan. In Batanes, our unique direction away from the window.
weather allows for sporadic rains that Then at one point, in the storm’s
last up to 30 minutes or more, even fury in the wee hours of the morning
during summer. We consider rain bad of September 15, the wind began to
if it falls and masakit siya sa mukha; make a U-turn. Suddenly, everything
otherwise it is normal. about what made Batanes houses
That evening, I had secured my withstand our type of storm didn’t
motorcycle to a safe place after buying matter anymore, because the wind, in
suman. In the boarding house I was its anger, wasn’t behaving like it used
living in near my place of work, we to. And that made all the difference.
had our storm shutters in place. My Now the winds felt like they were
parents’ house was safe, I was sure. coming from different directions. I saw
PAGASA had forecast that Ferdie electric posts fall down and galvanized
would make landfall in the early iron roofs whiz by like floating paper.
morning of September 15, around There was lightning—I swear I had never
2 a.m. But in Basco, we put landfall seen lightning during a storm before.
at around 11 p.m. of September 14, I remember cowering at the height
because that’s when we felt it. of the storm. I tried to recall the time
It was one of those storms. Except when I was younger, when I didn’t have
this time, it was a bit different.
LIke aLWays
to worry about these things. Back then,
while we waited for the rain to stop and
if we still had electricity, my siblings
and I, along with our parents, usually
either watched television or listened to
the radio for any news about the storm. Daylight.
If power was already cut, then we had Signs that indicated Basco went
time to catch up on our reading. We through a different kind of storm:
had candles and flashlights and read collapsed electric posts; pieces of yero
books or thought of games we could littering the streets. You could see into
play to pass the time. You’d know the living room or dining area of some
it was typhoon season when people of the semi-concrete houses. Their
started bringing out the flashlights and roofs and part of walls were gone.
candles from storage. But you could already see the
The night Ferdie came, there was community putting the town back
no power and no Internet. The wind together again. Some of them were
was howling. There was the sound of sweeping up the debris, looking for
things falling and being torn apart. blown away roofs to put back up. I
Every Ivatan knows storms, but this think for those whose houses were
was different. damaged, the community basketball
It was the longest night of my life. court served as temporary shelter.
I went to check on my parents. I had
to ride through a maze of trash, trees,
and electric poles to get to their house.
I noticed some people using chainsaws
to clear out fallen trees. Chainsaws
are illegal in Batanes because we are,
by law, an Ancestral Domain (lands
Gladys Mae Zabala
that belong to indigenous people)
Argonza is 23 years old and an area of protected landscapes
and works at the Batanes and seascape. I was surprised we had
Heritage Foundation. chainsaws after all.
When I finally got to my parents’
house, I asked my dad if they were
okay and if they noticed anything
weird about the storm.
All he said was, “Alialit na pa.” FH M

RAINY DAYS AHEAD
Th E fO RwaR d-Th i n k i n g man’s g u i d E TO d Eali n g w iTh m OTh E R naTu R E’s wRaTh
w O R d s A S H M A H I N AY | i l l u s T R a T i O n s L O U I S A R E N A S
Q
YOUR HOUSE
You don’t need a house made of rock
to be weatherproof, but you do need
to keep up on its maintenance–a fact
that’s easy to forget or ignore when the I’ve always Storm drains
intervals are many years apart. Timothy
been afraId and gutters
Facuri, executive vice president of
Timberpro, shares some of their of callIng Aside from cleaning out your
company’s expertise on the topic.
They’re best known for being pest my fIrst gutters, the catch basins
of your gutters–hidden pits
controllers since 1982, but with more tubero beneath the drain covers–
must be cleaned of debris so
than a decade of experience in home
care services as well. You don’t want to and endIng they won’t be overwhelmed
leave our kids to inherit a leaky wreck up wIth by a sudden downpour. If
your gutters are falling apart
in the future after all!
somethIng and leaking all over the
place, Daniel recommends
else. does replacing them. “Fiberglass
dIy vs. pro help thIs happen na gutter, in-demand yun
“[Regarding DIY] Many try to ngayon. Yung stainless kasi
do it themselves, but it’s like a
first-aid approach lang, if we’re
all the tIme? na gutter, pag nag-corrode
pwede madamay bubong mo.”
talking a major project, syempre
a
you have to have know-how. But
“[Kadalasan
if may tulo lang kitchen ceiling
epoxy lang kaya na yun…real dyan] Yung
waterproofing includes patching nakapaskil sa
with sealing products; so just poste totoo, pero
make sure the materials are yung cliente na
compatible. This would be a long- tumatawag, yung
term solution,” says Timothy. magpapa-service,
“[Based on experience] The yung hindi totoo!
premium market, every 2 to 3 Sila nanloloko!”
years nagpapa-repaint. Sa iba they
–Sir Manny the
neglect it–basta may kulay pa!
That’s one telltale sign, pag medyo plumber
kupas na mga bubong nila.”
Dirty faucet water

YOUR PIPES If your water looks like it pretty much came from the street,
your inlet piping–which takes water from the city supply to
your home–could be compromised. Daniel says go for an
Toilet coughing up water during a upgrade rather than just a repair.
storm? We consult the experts at MB “GI (galvanized iron piping) fine-phase out na kasi
Plumbing and Electrical Services–Sir mahirap palitan. Nadudurog pag luma na. Marami na rin
Manny, a plumber for over 25 years, nagpapa-upgrade at repipe to PPR.” It’s double the price
and Daniel Bautista, the youngest son of the also ubiquitous blue PVC pipes, but much hardier
of the man who founded it in 1983. according to Sir Manny, “Kahit paluin mo ng martilyo,
okay lang.”

CLIMAtE CHANgE IS REAL, and that means
the annual rainy season is only going to be
harsher in the future. We don’t want you to
end up all washed out, so here is our guide
to what needs to be done if you want to get
through the storm unscathed–from your
home to yourself. Step 1: Please don’t wait
until it’s actually raining like the apocalypse
to get started on these
Walls R oof
It’s not simply painting Leaking overhead is the
on waterproofing and number-one problem spot
living high and dry as an for many during the rainy
advertisement would like season. Despite frequent
you to believe, Timothy flying yero sightings
outlines the steps for a during storm season,
sure job Timothy still recommends
1 Survey the entire it for tropical roofing
surface to be rather than fancy tiles or
waterproofed other material.
2 Identify special “[I still recommend]
problems metal roofs because it’s
3 Cover large voids easy to install, available
post-flood with good patching pre-painted, and cheaper
pests? cement, seal cracks
4 Ensure surfaces are
compared to other
materials…heat can
“Once flooded, pests
tend to go out from clean, free of lose be reduced with proper
their breeding and material and fairly ventilation, insulation,
hiding places. Hindi smooth and heat-reflecting roof
naman basta babalik 5 Application paints. Some suppliers
ang mga yun–they 6 Testing after proper give 25-year warranties,
can find cracks curing time but repairs, particularly
and crevices and sealing of joints, and
proliferate in your “Cement is porous. If you inspection of nailed
home. Floods tend don’t put waterproofing roofing should be done
to cause wood to rot and you cover it with once a year before
and depending on wood, hihigupin ng kahoy the rainy season for
the wooden content yung water. Inside rin, preventive maintenance…
sa bahay mo, the risk hindi lang sa labas. gaskets break down over
of termite infestation time with UV exposure”
increases,” Timothy “Based on studies, paint
warns. lifespan is 5-8 years
depending on quality
and application. It is
recommended to have
it inspected on the third
year from the date it was
built and once a year
afterwards."
Septic tank
Situation 1 Situation 2
It’s raining hard and your toilet is gurgling up some The rains passed but your drains and thrones aren’t still
seriously murky stuff. Why? According to Sir Manny, flowing smoothly, the inlet pipe might be clogged.
“Pag umaapaw [toilet], kasama sa septic tank yan. Sir Manny says, “Kadalasan [the cause is] nabubuong
Naka-tap yung tank sa drainage (leading to the city liquid. Kung marunong yung nag-layout ng plumbing,
sewer/streets). Pag malakas ulan, nag-o-overflow sa may linalagay na cleanout access. May takip na bubuksan
kalsada–kaya nagba-backflow sa loob ng bahay.” at dun ide-declog. Kung wala, kelangan i-pullout yung
Blame it on the past administration when this happens. toilet at dun namin ide-declog. Usually 20 years bago
magkaroon ng diperensya ang septic tank.”

Drive belts Wiper blades
It would also be a “Always change your wiper blades every
good idea to check other year by either changing the rubber
your belts which part of the blade or having the entire
charge your battery. blade replaced, to ensure constant
“Signs of replacement visibility. [There are many] signs of
are a thinning or wear–streaking, chattering (or skipping
worn belt, cracks or across the windshield), split rubber and
damage by oil leak.” squeaking.”
Battery
“Many drivers
experience battery-
related problems
during the rainy
season due to
immense pressure
from the headlights,
air conditioning,
wipers and even radio
being turned on all at
once. The health and
charging state of the
battery should also be
checked.”
YOUR CAR Brakes

Wet roads mean longer stopping
External lamps and distances, so make sure your
While it would be great to stay indoors forever signal lights brakes aren’t adding to that as well!
“Visibility is one of the most basic “Always have your brake
when it gets wet and messy out, there’s work
necessities for a car driver during system checked by a car care
to be done–or supplies to be bought at least. the rainy season. All signal lights specialist. Make sure that the
Make sure your ride is up to the task by keeping should be working–if you notice brake pads still have enough
in mind these maintenance tips from Henry that your dashboard turn signal friction material and the brake
Nograles, Jr., Deputy General Manager At Rapide is flashing rapidly, it indicates a discs’ thickness still complies with
Auto Service Experts busted signal bulb.” the manufacturer’s specs.”
goIng balls deep Henry reiterates the rules of driving into the murky depths of a flood
The first rule of driving in when approaching a Just 15 cm or in approximately at 60 cm (two never try driving
flooded waters is, don’t. flooded area, you can't six inches of 30 cm (one foot) of feet) of water, through fast-
find another route. be sure of the depth standing water– water, a typical car even larger moving water,
That's the only sure of the water or the sometimes can begin to float vehicles such such as an
way to avoid getting condition of the road less–can be and lose traction as pickup trucks overflowing river,
stranded. as a rule of beneath it, which may be enough to and steering and suVs are in as your vehicle
thumb, don't drive into broken or washed away. cause engine control. if the danger of floating could be swept
water that's too deep worst case, there stalling. water is moving, away. away.
to see the painted may be no road left your vehicle could
markings on the road. under the water. literally float away.

Timberpro M B Plumbing & Rapide Auto
Timberpro.com.ph Electrical Services Service Experts
826-7201/820-0783 927-6890/ Rapide.ph
0915-2611534 897-9434
Nobody likes going to

Weather strips
YOURSELF the doctor, so we’re
For those rolling in bringing the doctor’s
older stock, this is a advice to you with Maria
major source of leaks Tarcela Gler, MD, of
but it’s easily dealt Makati Medical Center’s
with, “Repairing torn Infectious Diseases
weather stripping on Department. Listen to
car doors is quick and
her.
easy, treat them with
silicone spray to prevent
further weather stripping
Why does the
damage.” onset of the
rainy season
increase the
occurrence
Tires of specific
“Always ensure that sicknesses?
your tires have the right It’s not just getting
amount of pressure rained on that’s the
as stated in the car’s cause, Dr. Gler explains
manual. On a slippery that, “Upper respiratory
road, your tires are the infections also increase
only things that come during this season
between your car and because the viruses
the concrete or asphalt causing these diseases
below. Signs you need thrive better in low
to replace your tires: if humidity. And people
the tire depth indicator is would stay indoors
already visible and your most of the time during
tire expiration date.” this season so diseases
spread faster.”
Is getting an
raIn
immunization
really a good
idea?
“Yes. The best way to
prevent infections is
to give immunization.
Hence, flu vaccine is
recommended annually
Cle a n lI n eSS and it is usually given
from April to May in our
country. [In addition to
that, get] Pneumonia
Is it okay to Is constant rain vaccine for the elderly
treat rain like a exposure without and smokers and updated
being cleaned measles and chicken pox
free car wash?
vaccine for all kids.”
“Rain alone can not harmful?
make a car clean. “In general, a modern
Rainwater can only vehicle’s surfaces How do we
provide a light rinse are more than up to avoid spreading
that only creates mud the task of resisting a disease to
and streaking–even rainwater. However, everyone at
strong rain does certain areas do have home?
not have adequate high levels of acid “For infection control
pressure to remove rain. This corrosive in confined places,
dirt and there will precipitation can make sure that there is
always be a layer of damage and mar adequate ventilation–
grime that won’t be your car’s surface– open windows if there
dislodged.” especially if it is is a sick member of the
Show this to all your unprotected by a wax family. Cough etiquette
friends with dirt or polymer finish or should always be
mobiles who wait for you have an older practiced.”
rain. vehicle with a less Aka cover your
durable clear coat.” damn mouth, people.
FH M

STARRING
ANN B. MATEO
STYLING
BADJ GENATO
PHOTOGRAPHY
EJAY LEUNG of Midnight Bonkers
#NEWSEXY
WORDS
PONG CASTILLO
W h e n W e s a i d o u r ta s t e
i n c e l e b r at i n g W o m e n
has changed from 16
years ago, We We r e
ta l k i n g a b o u t t h e s e
a p p e a l i n g a lt e r a t i o n s
MAKE UP AMANDA PADILLA i HAIR IWA AJINoMOTO

IT
SEEMS minimalist
NOT TOO “my girl friend looks
LONG sexiest when she’s

comfortable—and balance out
AGO, bUT most times it’s in
simple clothing.” extra coverage but
tighter fit. “sexy
IT WAS.
J o hn, 2 5
doesn’t always mean
more skin exposure,”
in the says genato.
early
years FhM
strings
had what attached
you could genato says:
call the “string bikinis =
sexy tan lines!”
“BoMBshell
phase.”
Back then, you
were almost sure
something was
going to spill out
somewhere in the
shoots. Physical
assets peaking out
of gaudy tops and
bottoms; fishnet
tops and bottoms;
corset tops; biker
shorts; big hair;
big everything.
No apologies
now, because,
frankly, it was the
aesthetics of that
time. Now we look
at new trends in
photographing
models and we
BODYCON
find that less
distractions and
the more natural
look are the
current thing.
Which isn't too bad
at all; we actually
BIKINI
like it that way thanks to Queen Beyonce
because it puts our (remember “single ladies”?),
cover stars at ease. leotards have never looked this
They can do their sexy...and wearable outside dance
thing and not have studios. of course it would be odd
While a bikini evolved complicated designs
to worry about (though extremely interesting) to
from metallics to and cuts, that would
sensitive body see a woman walk down a street in
polka-dots, high- leave distracting tan
parts peeking out just a bodysuit, but pairing it with
waisted, and knitted, lines!”
from under sheer jeans is the new thing. “it shows a
we still find the basic Agree. The
lingerie. woman’s curves,” says Genato. “it
triangle-top bikini a millennial rendition
Here we attempt doesn’t need to be too revealing.
classic. of a basic triangle top
to explain this wearing a long-sleeved one-piece
Fashion designer is best bikini: with
new style of sexy, suit will leave all the other good
and stylist Badj Genato minimal cut-outs and
so that if you do stuff to a man’s imagination.”
says that less is more lines for flattering
camera work on sure...and it would make you
when it comes to illusion.
your woman, you want to put a ring on it.
swimwear. “A simple “It’s the resurgence
know what style
bikini set would do of the basic swimsuit
we go for. (She
it. If your girl opts and swimming
dreams of being on
for swimwear with trunks,” says Genato.
FHM, doesn’t she?)

sidelines
“cover-ups made
“sometimes it’s not of light, flowing
what you see upfront fabrics look extra
that catches your sophisitcated.”
eye—it’s the little M ar tin , 24
surprises on the sides
and back!”
L io , 2 2
bae watch CO VER UP

also big on trend:
pamela anderson’s
It’s puzzling to see skin, so cover-ups,
one-piece tanga
swimsuit ala
someone “covering” like cardigans or
baywatch. something with sheer mesh tops do the
fabric, but realizing job. Think of this
how it outlines as a counterpart for
silhouettes makes when a man wears a
total sense. “Cover- compression shirt or
ups not only function fitted T-shirt inside
as added layer of his workout jersey.”
coverage, but it gives Ah, yes! It hugs
some women an extra our arms enough to
boost of confidence,” show our growing
says Genato. guns, but doesn't
Not everyone is expose our bulging
comfortable showing guts. Got it.

bed head
“if dapper hairstyles
are in for men, it’s
the tousled bed
hair that’s in and
sexy for women,”
shares hairstylist iwa
ajinomoto.
size matters
advises genato: “if
you’re just one size
bigger than your girl,
it’s a perfect fit for
her!”
bare dare
“you don’t need to
wear an undershirt
with my button-
downs, honey.”
A ld rich , 2 6
TOPLESS
we love a crisp button-down shirt
alright, but what we love even
more is how sexy it looks on
our girl. “we’re in a day and age
where an ‘i woke up like this’ post
gets more likes on social media,”
says Genato. “and wearing a
boyfriend polo or jeans says she
woke up on the right side of the
bed.” either that or she just knows
how to rock men’s wear better.
ACCESSORIES
It’s been said
that a woman’s
one up keep it light
greatest accessory
“a woman who can “sometimes
is her smile...
put her hair in a bun accessories tend to
or a tall, dark, for when the need distract instead of
and handsome calls for it is a ready accentuate.”
gentleman on her woman.” Ju stin e, 2 6
arm. But it can also J ul i us, 2 4
be a mean layer
of silver and gold.
Genato says that
while diamonds are
still a girl’s best
friend, “minimalist
pieces are the new
trend.”
“Monochromatic
clothing is in, so
expect your girl to
flash a statement
show his and
accessory once in
a while. If you're
it off hers
looking for an “anything worn with “Just like wearing
early Christmas confidence and pride boyfriend jeans
present, a charm is sexy!” or shirt, women
bracelet would Mi c o , 3 1 wearing timepieces
make her smile.” for men can make a
statement.”
Think of it as
Jared , 2 8
the counterpart
of your statement
watch.
LINGERIE
More than the
patterns and
colorways, undies
serve their ultimate
purpose if they are
able to hold the
pieces together—a
major bonus if they statement
do so “discreetly.”
We dissed Justin lacey daisy pieces
Bieber when he
exposed his boxers “i don't tell my girl this, “i think your choice
but i appreciate her in of undergarments
one too many
lingerie. it says she’s tells a lot about
times (thanks to come prepared—ready your character and
his loose pants!), to tease and all.” personal hygiene.
so we know a good Mi k e , 3 4 you better set a good
pair of knickers impression for when
when we don’t see it’s time to show
one. Or at least what’s under your
we think there’s pants and shirt!”
Ross, 2 9
none. “Seamless
underwear is
in,” says Genato.
“Which is good
because bodycon
dresses are back—
nobody would want
a VPL*!” FH M
* Visible panty lines

M A N
F TH I N G S !
L E
VS
E M A
W hy u s e a n o-m a ke u p
kit to p ut o n m a ke u p?
W hy n ot j u st g r o W yo u r
h a i r i n ste a d o f g l u i n g
oth e r p e o p l e’s h a i r o n
yo u r o W n? f h m s e e ks to
e n l i g hte n yo u
WORDS francis quina
P H OTO G R A P HY d a i ry d a r i l a g | P R O P S D E S I G N g e n i e r a n a d a-Ba B i sta
82 FH M JULY 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

i t e m : Tampons (also,
scented pads with wings)
What these are: They’re
variants of feminine period
products. Tampons are small
tube-shaped cotton products
that are inserted into the
vagina to absorb menstrual
discharge. Sanitary pads with
wings are just your normal
pads with extra strips that
wrap around the panty to
secure the pad. Some of
them come with a scent.
Regard with: SURRENDER
Anything that has to do with
menstruation (a perfectly
normal thing, by the way),
we have no idea how to deal
with. That’s a fact.
www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial JULY 2016 FH M 83

man Vs fe male th i n g s
If you think you’ve got the female

mind figured out, think again. Unlike
men, who can apparently exist on
two shirts and a pair of pants (and
some underwear), women seem to
have the need to own a lot of things.
Many of these items, like clothes and
accessories, are understandable to us
gentlemen. In fact, over time, some of
those feminine things, like a comb or a
coin purse, even insidiously creep into
our male routines.
But then, there are those freakishly
female possessions that we can’t wrap
our masculine minds around. So in a
bid to chip away chunks from the huge
mystery that is the female mind, we
stepped up to the plate. We did the
research so you don’t have to.

i t e m : Pubic hair clipper i t e m : Adhesive bras even buy a set of different colored
What it is: A special kind of scissor What these are: Adhesive bras pens to write in them.
designed specifically to trim a are exactly what they sound like; Regard with: RESIGNATION
person’s secret crotch garden. they are bras that are taped onto the Let us first accept the fact that
Regard with: MARVEL female body. You ask, why would you without the women in our lives,
They actually sell pubic hair clippers! tape a bra to skin? So there aren’t we would probably forget our own
And here we were, using the kitchen any straps visible when your lady birthdays. But our ladies don’t really
scissors all this time. Who knew? wears a backless evening gown. remember everything; they’re just
Regard with: EXASPERATION really good at making notes and
i t e m : Bikini waxing set Isn’t the point of wearing a bra to keeping track of things. So if the
What it is: Wax-coated strips that support the breasts? Yes. So how lady in your life likes using a colorful
are applied to specific genital areas can a tape support anything? Our daily planner, you gotta live with that
that, when removed, take off pubic thoughts exactly. fact and move on.
hair along with it.
Regard with: FEAR i t e m : Crystal-studded phone
Anyone who willingly tears off bits cases
and pieces of skin and hair just to What these are: You’ve seen them
i t e m : Stiletto heels
perfect a smooth bikini line should around. They’re bright, shiny, and
be respected and feared. They know What these are: A stiletto heel very distracting. It kind of makes you
no pain. is the name for that long, thin, wonder if there’s even a real phone
high heel found on some models inside that case.
i t e m : Jeggings Regard with: ANNOYANCE
What it is: Jeggings is a made-up
of women’s boots and shoes. Not We can’t believe we’re the ones
word to describe those stretchable surprisingly, it’s named after a kind saying this; but ostentatious phone
denim pants women wear all around. of dagger that is also thin and long. cases are tacky as hell, especially
Here’s an image for you: your jeans crystal-studded ones.
Stiletto heels are notoriously
that are really tight but stretchy at
the same time. difficult—and uncomfortable—to wear i t e m : Bags (handbag, shoulder
Regard with: RESENTMENT but are supposedly handy during a bag, tote, clutch)
We would also like to wear stretchy brawl. What these are: Your girlfriend
denim pants. Alas, it does not look always has to carry one, even
good on men. Not at all. Regard with: ANGER if you’re just going around the
Even though it looks really good on neighborhood for a walk. And
i t e m : Spanx (and shapewear your lady, stilettos are apparently honestly, she probably has everything
in general) on this list stuffed inside that bag,
What these are: Shapewear is
a pain to wear. Like any chivalrous too. The female bag, whatever size or
similar to the corsets of old: they are man, you should be furious at the form it takes, is like the TARDIS on
worn under regular, everyday clothing fact that your lady has to suffer to Doctor Who: it’s bigger on the inside.
to shape and contour the body. It Regard with: REVERENCE
look good. Plus, when she wears If you’re ever out with a woman and
makes the wearer’s body much more
appealing than it normally is. heels, she’ll tower over you. you needed something, anything—
Regard with: WONDER say, dental floss—it’s likely that you
Can Spanx hide our beer belly? can find it inside your woman’s bag.
i t e m : Rabbit vibrators In the event of a zombie apocalypse,
What it is: We’ll pretend that you make sure you’re with a woman with
haven’t seen one of these in those a large bag. She probably has all the
videos you sometimes watch when gear you’ll need to survive.
you’re alone at home. A rabbit
vibrator is a sex toy that has a clitoral i t e m : Hand sanitizers
stimulator. Its name comes from its What it is: You’re probably not an
appearance: the extension holding animal so you know what this is. But
the stimulator kind of resembles do you carry one around all the time?
rabbit ears. Nope. On the other hand, women
Regard with: INADEQUACY probably have more than one bottle
What chance do you have besting a of this at any time.
machine that can do two things at Regard with: GRATITUDE
once and run non-stop as long as Finally, you can eat food outside
the battery has a charge? The war the house without fear. Not that you
between man and machine has been were ever afraid of a little diarrhea to
fought in the bedroom, and clearly begin with.
we have lost.
i t e m : Daily planners
What these are: We’re not talking
about those sleek little black
pocketbooks, but the colorful kind
filled with daily inspirational quotes,
stickers, and coupons. Some women
www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial JULY 2016 FH M 85

man Vs fe male th i n g s
i t e m : BB, CC, & DD creams i t e m : “No makeup” i t e m : Moisturizers

What these are: These are three makeup kit What these are: Any number of
new variants of skin cream that What it is: Exactly what it says. It’s products (lip balm, facial moisturizer,
have recently become available in a collection of makeup and other body butter) whose main goal is
the market. BB (blemish balm) first beauty products that when put to moisturize (duh!) the skin. It
became popular in Korea and is said together (with skill) allows someone apparently also helps slow down
to give protection from the sun and to look fresh and beautiful seemingly aging, among other health benefits.
provide extra hydration for the skin. without the use of makeup. Essential Regard with: ACCEPTANCE
The other two—CC (color correcting) stuff for women who always caption Moisturizers might seem bothersome
and DD (daily defense) creams— their photos with #WokeUpLikeThis. and even an unnecessary expense,
basically do the same thing. Regard with: APPRECIATION but most likely it’s responsible for
Regard with: CONFUSION It’s the skill with which the “no your girlfriend’s soft, supple skin. If
Aren’t these all just like lotion? makeup” makeup kit is used that there were no moisturizers, you’d
Seriously, with the price tags on we must appreciate (and probably probably be rubbing up against
these creams, you could buy two or the person who created this beauty something that feels like tree bark
three large bottles of that lotion your trend). right now.
mother used when you were young.
Remember? The one you sometimes i t e m : Gel nails i t e m : Hair curlers and
used on yourself. What it is: Basically it’s a gel-based hair iron
version of nail polish. Gel nails are a What it is: One acts like an iron
lot sturdier than the traditional ones so that straightens hair, the other is
apparently these can be used as nail used to create curls and wavy hair.
extensions and suitable for “nail art.” Both aren’t really permanent fixes.
i t e m : Bath bombs/bath salts Oh, and these nails actually need to be Someone with naturally wavy hair
What these are: Bath bombs are like exposed to ultraviolet light to dry. who uses a hair iron will go back to
big seltzer pills that fizz when you drop Regard with: SUSPICION having wavy hair within a few hours.
We know from comic book lore that And vice versa.
them in water. But instead of drinking exposure to any kind of radiation Regard with: JEALOUSY
the water, you soak in it. Bath bombs, causes mutation. If your girlfriend We’re not saying that we would like
depending on what the formulation is, or wife gets gel nails often enough, to fashion our hair the way lady-folks
expect her to turn to into a super- do. (Why would we? It looks so
supposedly have a number of restorative powered being. Pray to God, though, tedious.) But we are kind of jealous
properties. Complementary to this, that she doesn’t turn into the Hulk. that most, if not all of those women
bath salts are pulverized minerals that brandishing these hair weapons,
make the bathing experience more don’t have to worry about going
bald anytime soon (we’re so worried
pleasurable. about that).
Regard with: DEFERENCE
Most of us don’t even have bathtubs at i t e m : Hair and lash
extensions
home. So if your lady gets a chance to
What these are: They’re products
soak in a tub, you let her whether or not that people—men and women
she wants to use a bath bomb. alike—use to make it look like they
have hair longer than their real
length. (We’re looking at you Chris
Hemsworth!) These extensions can
be attached to existing hair mainly by
clips or adhesive.
Regard with: FRUSTRATION
It’s hard enough to tell if people are
who they say they are. Now you can’t
even trust if the hair on their head
is really theirs? Plus, why would you
even want to put someone else’s hair
on your head? Just let your hair grow
out, woman!
i t e m : Manicure set
What it is: At the risk of being
called sexist pigs, a manicure set
is the female equivalent of a Swiss
Army knife in that almost every
woman has one. A typical manicure
set would have fingernail and toenail
cutters, cuticle trimmer, and nail file.
Regard with: INDIFFERENCE
Unless you’re thinking of
supplementing your income by giving
mani-pedis to your officemates,
pay the manicure set no mind. You
have nothing to do with it and it has
nothing to do with you. FH M

The Kikay Barkada
is at it again!
The Morning Rush
hosts Chico Garcia, Delamar Arias, and
Gino Quillamor are back with an all-new
collection of crazy lists from the popular
radio program on Monster Radio RX 93.1!
Available in bookstores and

on newsstands for P195
Window (Un)Dressing
Wondering What’s the best Way to spend

a lazy saturday?
PhotograPhy
K EVI N CAYU CA of CA m pI N g Cr Ew d E s I g N
MaKEUP & haIrStyLINg

VAN E s s A sAlVAd o r
StyLINg
j oA N N A sAN t IAg o o f Al sA m N l
W hat is it about having a window, high above the choked streets
of the city, that makes you feel like doing kinky things in front
of it? don’t lie, fam; you know you’ve thought about whipping
open the curtains and having some fun with the world as your
audience. We’re bringing that fantasy to life with yasmin enjoying a little
r&r in as few threads as possible…-Ash Mahinay
90 FH M oCtober 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial oCtober 2016 FH M 91
PHOTOGRAPHY
MARK JESALVA
MASTE R
WORDS
ASH MAHINAY
YO U R L O O K
Edited by ASH MAHINAY

mikeyashlie.mahinay@
summitmedia.com.ph
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Look closely at these two pastel, flat, neutral, but decidedly not boring looking shoes. That’s because the
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minimalist but not plain, and the missing piece for all you low-key Mr. Neat-types out there.
fits
* not a bad idea

ITEMS
Bag man
(noun) 1. A GuY WHo LoVES
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Store • Ibarra Brown Leather Watch, P8,495, Felipe & Sons • Coat, H&M

PhOTOgRaPhy
Dairy Darilag
STyling
Debra bernales
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Ripcurl snapback, P1,199.75, Stoked • Aviators, Ray-Ban • Scarf, H&M • Hoodie vest, Forever21 • G.ride Antoine bag, P2,800, Complex Lifestyle Store •
Airwalk Camping Backpack, P2,990, Toby’s • EZ Life red dry bag, P625, Toby’s • Harbinger Weight Lht Gloves, P275, Toby’s • Rastaclats, P600-700, Complex
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fits
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Corduroy navy blue snapback, P1,550, WIP Caps at Complex LIfestyle Store • Aviators, Ray-Ban • Scarf, stylist’s own • Ripcurl striped wallet, P899.75,
Stoked • Ripcurl duffel bag, P2,599.75, Stoked • G.ride Albert grey/red backpack, P3,400, Complex Lifestyle Store • nike KD, P5,995, Toby’s • nike
basketball shoes, P5,795, Toby’s • Jacket, Fred Perry • Harbinger Fit Gloves, P325, Toby’s

NOW YOU CAN TAKE THE
BABES
EVERYWHERE YOU GO!
Get on your smartphone or tablet.

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PH OTO G RAPHY
STRANGE VIBES
KEVI N CAYU CA O f CAm PI N G C R Ew d E s I G N | sTYLI N G KEZIAH G E RVI C | mAKE U P AN d G R O O m I N G VAN E ssA sALVAd O R
m O d E Ls YA N N A C O w P E R A N d m A Ks I m P O P O V O f wO m E N’s fO LI O m O d E L mANAG E m E NT
s H OT O N LO CATI O N AT strEat m A G I N H AwA f O O d PA R K

Yanna
Cap, P329.75, Tee,
P169.75 Bench;
Backpack, P1,695,
adidas
Maksim
Buttondown shirt
and denim shorts,
Staple; ZX Flux ADV
Tech, P5,495, adidas

Yanna
Bucket hat, Staple;
Rainjacket, P799.75,
Bench
Maksim
Printed shirt, Staple;
Jeans, P899.75,
Bench; Stan Smith,
P4,895, adidas

Yanna
Bomber jacket,
P1,299.75, Bench;
ZX Flux, P4,895,
adidas
Maksim
Bucket hat, Staple;
Varsity jacket,
P899.75 and Graphic
tee, P439.75, Bench
all Staple items

available at Sneak
Peek

Yanna
striped tee, P429.75,
Bench; Stan Smith,
P5,495, adidas
Maksim:
Plaid button down,
P829.75, Bench;
Denim shorts,
Staple; Stan Smith,
P4,895, adidas

Yanna
Tanktop, P1,495,
adidas, Denim
jacket, P899.75,
Bench
Maksim:
Logo tee and denim
shorts, Staple;
Rainjacket, P799.75,
Bench
IN cASE you mISSEd IT, ThE BIGGEST NEw Show
of ThE SEASoN IS A ThRowBAck to the days when
aliens seemed real and it was an actual thing to run around
outside. It’s the return of Winona Ryder and it’s also the return
of wanting to dress like it’s the ‘90s again–and thankfully we’ve
got updated versions of those clothes to reach for. It’s nostalgic
coolness without that awkward growing up fit.
LIFE ON THE
U PSWI NG
Edited by CECILE JUSI-BALTASAR

cecilejbaltasar@gmail.com
F O O D
Food-styling
101
When looking good is
all that matters
THE
MAN-
WICH
When a man looks at
a sandwich, the most
important thing to
consider is how much
protein goodness can
fit inside those buns
(or slices of bread).
But the problem with
overloading your
sandwich is that it
becomes a soggy
mess.
To avoid this,
“You can prop up
your bread by using
These days, with all the food porn that’s being posted toothpicks so that the
online, scrolling through Instagram while you’re hungry top slice doesn’t droop
(especially in the wee hours of the morning) is downright or lean towards one
masochistic. Have you ever wished that you, too, could side—unless that’s
be the cause of untimely midnight snacking among your what you’re going
Instagram followers? Are you tired of having single-digit for,” advises Miranda.
likes whenever you post your reheatable baon pictures? “Having an upright
sandwich lets people
We know you can’t cook so we interviewed food see what’s inside; you
stylist Roselle Miranda and food photographer Jonathan WORDS can help produce this
Baldonado to teach us how to make food look absolutely CHISE ALCANTARA image by arranging the
delicious (even if in reality, it actually tastes like chalk). PHOTOGRAPHY
filling off to one side to
JONATHAN BALDONADO
They’ll help you be the envy of all your wannabe food- STYLING make them more visible
blogger friends. ROSELLE MIRANDA [to the camera].”
Boost
S K I L L
FAST FO O D
Why go through all the trouble of
cooking something amazing when you
know none of your friends can cook,
either? When you’re under-budget, it’s
hard to compete with those fancy meals
people have delivered nowadays. So
keep it simple and work with what you
already have, Miranda says.
“You want the food to be the star
and the props are the supporting
cast…Add props that convey aspects
of the atmosphere of where you’re
eating the food,” Miranda says.
Baldonado shares a nifty trick: Have
an “odd number of items in a photo. [It
will make] it seem like you have more
food.” A good thing to remember when
you’re peso-pinching.
I N STANT C U P N O O D LE
Instant noodles will always be the perfect Miranda goes on: “Then, you just
back-up meal when you’re stuck at home cook the noodles and put the garnish on
and are too lazy/untalented to cook top—it’s as simple as that! But if you want
anything. To make those noodles slurp- to steam the vegetables a bit—because
tastic, Miranda suggests that you should cooked food just looks more appetizing—
add “bits of corn to liven up the rather then just steam the veggies for two
pale-colored noodles.” Good news: you to three minutes. Just make sure the
don’t have to cook anything, save for a ingredients don’t sink to the bottom by
soft-boiled egg (three minutes in boiling filling up your bowl with enough noodles.”
water should do it depending on its size).
110 FH M oCtoBer 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

ICE
CREAM
You know what they say:
there’s always room to brag
about dessert and everyone
loves ice cream. But even
though it still might taste
amazing melted, looking at
something that resembles
rainbow unicorn blood isn’t
appetizing at all.
Remember that, “shooting
ice cream is a very time-
sensitive thing...This is when
you have to prepare the things
you need beforehand so that
when you bring out the ice
cream, you’ll just have to take
shots. Now, if you want shots
of it while it’s melting, you’ll
have to time it just right in
order for the melting to be
controlled and not be messy,”
says Miranda.
Also, if you mess up,
refreeze the ice cream, and
think you can do better the
next time, heed Baldonado’s
advice: “You should never
shoot refrozen ice cream.”
Refrozen ice cream adopts an
odd, icy texture that doesn’t
look appetizing at all.
SILOG
There’s no better way to start your
day than by showing off to people that
you’re partaking in a much superior
breakfast than they are.
To make sure your danggit-silog is
on a different level of aesthetics, make
it colorful. Be sure to “add different
elements of color to it,” says Miranda.
“Put in a sunny-side up egg and even
some chopped parsley to add some
freshness and coolness to the dish.
It will balance out the warm colors of
brown, red, and yellow.”
Remember this rule of thumb:
everything on your plate should be
edible. Miranda adds a bit of trivia: “In
the old days, parsley was commonly
eaten because it was a breath freshener.”
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Boost
E X P E R T
The
way
of the
shoe
YOuR favORiTE
paiR Of
Did you know
handmadE that high-quality
leathers can
lEaThER last up to a
shOEs didn’T century? “If you
combine it with
jusT makE a construction
method that
ThEmsElvEs lets you replace
worn-out parts,
WORDS and a good
CECILE JUSI-BALTASAR maintenance
PHOTOGRAPHY regimen, you’ll
JONATHAN BALDONADO literally have a
pair of timeless
shoes that can
be passed down
to the next
generations,”
says Jader.
(If the next
generations
share your foot
size, that is.)
in the olden times (before 1980), shoemakers were well- of marikina shoemaking back to its original world-class glory.
respected craftsmen. more specifically, shoemakers from “Our shoemakers have a combined shoemaking experience
marikina. in fact, it used to be a rite of passage for fathers to take of almost 100 years,” says jR jader, one of sapatero’s co-
their sons to the sapatero as soon as their sons were old enough owners. “for all of them, the craft has been handed down from
to have bespoke shoes made for them. generations before. so these guys have been shoemakers since
unfortunately, with the influx of imported brands, the humble they were pre-teens.” The kids of today, though, prefer to drop the
marikina shoemaker lost his stellar standing in the market. Enter trade and earn doing something else entirely, partly because of
sapatero, a team of manila shoemakers whose main purpose is to the stigma of being a “sapatero lang.”
uplift the art of shoemaking. Through their ready-made and bespoke here’s to the revival of philippine shoemaking! Because shoes
men’s shoes, they want to revitalize the craft and elevate the state do make the man.

Don’t know what kind of leather
shoes to start adulting with? Try the
versatile black cap toe oxford.
S H O E MAKI N G MAD E S I M PLE
Keep your kicks
in tiptop shape
1 Invest in a cedar shoe tree. “It

will take the form of your foot,
stretch out the shoe, and dry
the moisture inside the shoe,”
says Jader. “People think
the moisture outside is what
destroys a shoe. It’s actually
the moisture inside.” While your
shoes are still moist, slip the
shoe tree in so the shoes will
retain the tree’s shape and not
your malformed foot.
2 Accept the crease. “Creasing
is inevitable,” says Jader. “Even
high-end shoes can crease
a lot.”
3 Use leather conditioners.
A pair of Sapatero bespoke shoes takes a little over a month to make, with at least two fitting sessions “Leather is skin that doesn’t
have a body to sustain it,” says
Jader. And we all know that a
dead animal’s skin still needs
With at least three upper maker. She essential nutrients. “Apply
people working on a cuts the leather the conditioner about twice a
pair of bespoke shoes, according to the month and then add shine with
the whole shoemaking pattern, then shoe polish,” suggests Jader.
process takes a little stitches the pieces 4 Never wear the same pair for
over a month to finish, together. two days straight. “The optimal
with some fitting
4
number of shoes is seven,”
sessions thrown in. Back with the says Jader. “Have a good
shoemaker, the rotation so you don’t wear out
upper is molded
1
your shoes too quickly.”
The last—a.k.a. the onto the last and
wooden mold of stitched closed,
your foot—begins finally taking the
the shoemaking form of a shoe.
process. “The last “This is the part
is the basis of that requires the
everything: the fit, most skill as one
comfort, design, mistake in molding
and overall look of the shoe would
your shoe,” says have a drastic effect
Jader. on the shoe’s look
and comfort,” says
2
Next, the master Jader. “The soles
shoemaker draws are then stitched,
the pattern—or and stacked leather
the 3D draft of the heels are attached
shoe design—on and buffed evenly.”
the last. “Patterns
can be simple, such
as a whole cut, or
as complex as a
full brogue,” says
5 The finishing guys
make sure that
“all the aspects
of the shoe—the
Jader. upper, laces, wax,
sole, heel—are
3
When the pattern as flawless as
is complete, it’s possible, with each The tightest part of the cowhide
is the butt area. That’s why
transferred to a complementing
shoemakers use that part of the
piece of cartolina one another,” says leather specifically for the toes of
and given to the Jader. the shoes.

Boost
M OTOR
EDITED BY
AllAN P. HERNANDEZ
Street sport
allan.hernandez
@summitmedia.com.ph
If You’rE JusT sTarTIng To rIDE, ThE suzukI

gIxxEr 150 Is a grEaT lEarnEr BIkE for
ImProvIng skIlls on, BEforE You movE uP To
somEThIng EvEn morE BaDass
WorDs: ErWIn CharlEs mEDIna

This is the Suzuki Gixxer 150, a naked bike
with sporty styling and feel. It accelerates
or night and provides useful information like
a speed and gear indicator for those who like Suzuki
nicely on flat roads, perfect for the daily
commute and zipping through traffic.
to correctly keep track of what gear they are
in. The panel itself is designed to be compact
Gixxer 150
The bike’s aesthetics will definitely appeal and minimalist to give the bike a cleaner
RIDES lIkE
to both newbies and old-timers. It has a sleek overall look. an office chair with
fuel-tank shape so that it can be gripped by The Gixxer is equipped with an automatic wheels —with an engine
the rider’s legs, and a chrome twin muffler, headlight once you turn on the ignition key. and turbo boost.
which, aside from giving a throaty exhaust This is now a standard safety feature in Comfort and speed!
note, is a truly unique feature sure to make almost all new motorcycles for improved
people give it a second look. Add to that, visibility even during daytime.
the ease of operation such as going up and Another notable safety feature is that FEElS lIkE
down through the gears very easily, even at a the rider will not be able to start the engine like a first-date—if
standstill, and you get a package that’s very without pressing the clutch lever. This you’re used to an
user friendly. prevents accidentally starting the bike in gear automatic scooter
The Gixxer’s engine delivers great power and running away from the rider.
and is frugal on gas at the same time, thanks With so many things positive about this
to the S.E.P.—Suzuki Eco Performance bike, there is, however, one area that Suzuki
lOOkS lIkE
like a dragon.
Technology, developed by Suzuki Motorcycle can improve on—using the kick starter. This Japan-made.
India Private Limited. Although it struggled a requires folding the foot peg first. Although
bit uphill when we tested it going up to Tanay the only time we may need to use it is when
and the Sierra Madre Resort, it wasn’t overly the battery becomes weak or when the BUY AT
stressed and is very much at home in an electric starter fails. Php 89,900
urban setting as an excellent city bike. In terms of pricing in the premium 150cc
The Gixxer sports Y Spoke Magnesium sport naked segment, the Gixxer is P25,000
wheels found in higher-end motorcycles, cheaper than the Yamaha FZ16 and about
which are wrapped by a 100-mm front and P13,000 more than the Kawasaki Bajaj
140-mm wide rear tires that provide good Rouser 150NS. All three Japanese brand
grip in dry conditions, while stopping power bikes are imported from India. The key
comes from a Bybre front disc brake and a differences are the Yamaha FZ16 uses fuel
rear drum, that despite being adequate, can injection while the Kawasaki Rouser 150
be improved with a disc for better feedback is equipped with a TPS or Throttle Position
and a more precise feel. A bright LED tail Sensor for improved fuel efficiency and
and brake light provide visibility from the rear sports narrower tube type tires.
and the turn signals are not integrated into Over all it’s a great bike, probably one of
the tail light assembly. the best in the standard naked 150cc class.
For the more advanced user, an adjustable Suzuki may be starting a new trend by referring
rear mono shock allows the suspension to to it as a “street sport”. Although there are
be tuned to suit the rider’s preference. Either many 150cc motorcycles in the market,
being able to absorb bumps and potholes on “most are business models, off road bikes or
bad roads or better handling through bends underbones,” In short, good value for money.
and corners. A vast majority of first-time motorcycle
While some may find the LCD instrument buyers choose scooters and underbones.
panel display too busy, it is clearly visible day While price is one of the deciding factors in
these choices, simplicity and ease of use are

also taken into consideration. For those who
choose to go the other direction, a manual
clutch and gear shift, and are just starting
to ride, the Gixxer is a great learner bike for
improving skills on a ‘proper’ standard bike.
The ergonomics allow the rider to be more
connected to the bike and thus generate
more confidence. It’s also great for seasoned
riders who like to ride long distances
because of the upright and relatively non-
aggressive riding position. The 12-liter gas
tank and good fuel economy will get you far
in between fill-ups.
So just in case you’re still not convinced
of the bike’s street cred, know this: prior
to its arrival on Philippine shores, the bike
had already won numerous awards in
India, including one from Top Gear. A clear
testament to how good the bike really is. FH M

B O O K E N D E R
We are only now beginning to appreciate what new sexy looks like,
but what did old sexy look like?
#OLDSEXY
It looked like this.
Not much of a secret going on here; it’s all out and out in the
open. There’s a flower there. Some gaudy necklace. Ropes and
pearls. Panties coming undone and the not-quite-accidental covering
of a nipple. Fanciful but, sadly, now a bit dated.
WORDS ALLAN P. HERNANDEZ What did Chito Miranda just say? “Breasts become insignificant at
some point.”
We’re not quite ready to accept that. We’re into the new, but we’re
also certain: when the old comes back, we’ll know what to do. FH M

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The real story

PHOTOGRAPHY: EJAY LEUNG, JONATHAN BALDONADO; ILLUSTRTATION: BORG SINABAN

Strangest thing: the tampon. What FHMers

We spent a quiet afternoon with

F H M I N T E R N AT I O N A L Whilma M. Lopez Admin Assistants Assistant Managing Editor Franch

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FHM ’s September Yummy food at The

I’m probably won’t be

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Edited by CHISE ALCANTARA

In a world where Kanye’s “Famous” music video gets

Ask a pretty lady to sign a card,

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SAmpLE OUR SpREAD look like fruit shakes

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elvis has real world problems in

story and art: melvin CalinGo

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Edited by PonG M. CASTillo

WORDS Anne MAri ronquillo • ILLUSTR ATION WArren eSPeJo

Every once in a while,

Christopher Lao “i shouLd have Been informed” J e s s Y m e n d i o L a n e s t o r p u n Z a L a n

Will we enjoy the ‘Duterte’ night life?

words: Jason Tulio · phoTogr aphy: paul Mondok

What you can TV show binge

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Help yourself out

Help wanted Hot Sos

Words: chise AlcAntAr A · photogr Aphy: mArk jesAlVA

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Kim Molina doesn’t the recently concluded

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Edited by CECILE JUSI-BALTASAR

Charmed and its varied forms, like painting

PHOTOGRAPHY Smart is sexy

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“love me or hate me. That’s it.

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A 2014 study done by psychologists at the University of York

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1 A Very Special Love, 2008 4 A Second Chance, 2015

3 My Big Love, 2008 6 Miss You Like Crazy, 2010

Don’t look for love

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gorgeous roommate going at it with her equally gorgeous

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“BECAUSE YOU HAVE DONE

We wanted Lovi purer; just her. We could

the cover, she was with an elephant. Also,

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“VANITY. DEFINITELY MY FAVORITE SIN.”

TWO-PIECE FROM BOOM SASON; SHOES FROM ALEXANdER MCqUEEN;

feel, which doesn’t encourage me to be a

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VINTAGE BANGLES BY JUN ABLAZA; SHOES FROM ALAIA PARIS

PHOTOGRAPHY JONATHAN BALDONADO

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sTO Ry an d Mai n p h OTO G LAdyS MAE Z AbALA AR G oN ZA

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