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Importance of Grooming & Upbringing of Children In the Light of the Holy

Quran and the Traditions of the Holy Prophet

Research · July 2018

DOI: 10.13140/RG.2.2.13181.67045

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British Journal of Humanities and Social Sciences 40
June 2012, Vol. 6 (1)

Importance of Grooming and Upbringing of Children

(In the Light of the Holy Quran and the Traditions of the Holy Prophet)

Dr. Abdul Ghafoor Baloch

Associate Professor, Department of Islamic Studies,
Federal Urdu University of Arts, Science and Technology, Karachi, Pakistan.
e-mail: draglashari@gmail.com

Dr. Muhammad Irfan Khalid

Assistant Professor, Department of Islamic Studies,
Federal Urdu University of Arts, Science and Technology, Karachi, Pakistan.
e-mail: irfan.khalid33@yahoo.com

Dr. Aziz-ur-Rehman Saifee

Assistant Professor / Head of Sciences and Humanities
FAST-National University of Computer & Emerging Sciences Karachi, Pakistan.
e-mail: aziz.rehman@nu.edu.pk

Dr. Ismail Moosa

Associate Professor, Department of Political Science,
Federal Urdu University of Arts, Science and Technology, Karachi, Pakistan.

Abstract
The religion of Islam gives much more importance to the upbringing and grooming of children because
children of today will form a social system tomorrow. Any imperfection in upbringing and grooming of
children will have adverse effect on the society in future. It is most essential that children must be brought
upon the most perfect mode to have a better and positive society. Islam guides us very explicitly on the
directives to be followed to have a better and positive society. The Holy Quran and the Traditions of the
Holy Prophet give us numerous guidelines in regards to the upbringing and the grooming of the children.
The life pattern of the Holy Prophet upholds many examples to indicate that he used to behave and treat
children with kindness and affection. He used to teach the children in his time politely how to behave
well. The Arabic literature is also full of advice and moral events and incidents and lessons to be learnt by
the children while their behavior building is going on. Islam intends to build up personality and character
of a child in such a way that he/she becomes an integral of a society as its noble and civilized individual.
This research thesis highlights this important social issue with the Islamic point of view.

UPBRINGING AND GROOMING OF CHILDREN:

Upbringing and grooming of children takes the effects of the nature, environment, situation and
observation, education and learning and following of others, but parental impact on the upbringing of the
child is undeniable and the most important. If good moral conduct and honesty are taught right from the
beginning to the children, their impact remains and is carried into adolescence and maturity of
personality. The early age time period of children should be exploited to get better results and shaping
them for better effects in their adulthood. Their thinking pattern should be made on constructive and
positive lives to instill good and positive habits in them. Children get used to those things to which they
were tuned to in their childhood. It is rather difficult to give up and change those habits which have been
instilled in their early ages.
The Holy Quran and the traditions of Holy Prophet give many directives and guidance in regards to
upbringing of children. Allah Almighty has declared children beauty of worldly life in the Holy Quran

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British Journal of Humanities and Social Sciences 41
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(18:46) Allah in regards to bestowing the blessing of issues to human beings says:”And strengthened you
with wealth and children“(17:06)
It is very much obvious from these sayings of Allah that children are really the beauty of this worldly life.
Love to children is in the instinct of human beings. One has the right to have pride in one‟s children
because one thinks oneself empowered due to one‟s children. But if children are not brought up in a better
way, the same poses problems to their parents when they grow up. The Holy Quran mentions this,
pointing on this reality: “Your wealth and children are surely meant as trial for you“(64:15)
Islam is a well behaved and moderate religion it teaches rationality to be kept in everything. Although
love to children is instinctive, yet there is no doubt that if the same is not delivered properly then same
love turns into a trial for parents when children grow up. If love of parents is tilted towards negativity and
wants and demands of children are fulfilled unchecked, the upbringing of the children gets flexible and
parents thereafter are forced to fulfill children‟s demand even unwillingly which turns out to be a problem
for parents. This is the meaning of the verse that children are trial for human beings. It is therefore,
necessary to avoid and refrain from such love which begets negative traits and trends in children.
The holy Quran in upbringing of children from early childhood directs them “When your children have
reached the age of puberty they should similarly ask your leave (for entering) “(24:59)
An immature child is not a subject of this order, but a mature child is one who does understand the
personal and private secrets of his/her parents. It is, therefore ordered that as soon as a child reaches to the
age of puberty he/she should be given training that before entering into the privacy of parents he/she must
ask for their permission. This training cultivates morality and values to seek permission from the early
age. Children should be trained not to enter into any body‟s house without seeking prior permission in
social life. They should not peep into someone‟s house through the window, so that personal and
individual privacy of someone should not be violated. The Holy Quran mentions in the chapter Luqman,
the advice of Luqman to his son in this regard therein Luqman says: “O my son, fulfill your moral
obligation, bid what is known and forbid what is wrong, and bear with passion what befalls you. These
are indeed acts of courage and resolve. Do not hold man in comfort, and do not walk with hauteur on the
earth. Verily God doesn‟t like the proud and boastful.”(31:17 & 18)

WISE WORDS OF LUQMAN TO HIS SON:

These wise words of Luqman to his son serve basic and essential guidelines for upbringing of children.
This is a reformative law which can make acts and talks of a child the best. With this kind of upbringing a
child can turn into a respectable member of the society. It is an undeniable fact that a child should be
given training to be patient at the time of calamities, and how to come out of calamities in a better way. It
is not socially desirable to be irrational while talking with the people and boasting every moment and
everything. It is necessary to train children to avoid acquiring these bad habits. A person who is indulged
in self praise never comes to know his/her short comings. So, children who are in the habit of self praise
are always running into loss. The purpose of mentioning the advice of Luqman to his son is to hint out the
guidelines for upbringing children, which play a basic role in their character and personality building.
There is no doubt in this point that a child needs reformation of his/her instinctive feelings for becoming a
member of nobility and good character in his/her society. A human being needs to have social relations
and dealings with his/her fellow social beings as a member of human society. Children do have their own
friends. Care should be taken to watch out his/her relations, which he/she keeps, with which sort of
children. It is very much necessary, because if a child has bad friends his/her own character and conduct
will also come under those bad effects. If a child keeps a company of good friends there will be positive
effects on his /her character and conduct.

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British Journal of Humanities and Social Sciences 42
June 2012, Vol. 6 (1)

THE WAY OF TRAINING OF THE HOLY PROPHET:

The Holy Prophet used to train in a very beautiful way. He always tried to reform without hurting
someone. (Ref: Qualities of the method of teaching of the Holy Prophet: May 2003). The Holy Prophet
was always careful not to utter such a word which could hurt or make someone feel shy or interpreted in a
wrong way during training. (Ref: The way of training of the Holy Prophet: 2007) children should also be
trained to value cleanliness and purity. The Holy Prophet warned those people who used to attend the
Holy Prophet with dirty teeth. He said “Why have you come to me with pale teeth?” (Ref: Training of
children in the light of the holy Quran and traditions of the Holy Prophet: 2005). This warning of the
Holy Prophet in regards of cleaning teeth implies that it is very important to train children to realize and
understand the importance of cleanliness.

THE HOLY PROPHET USED TO DEAL KINDLY WITH CHILDREN:

Unnecessary strong behavior to deal with children leads them to losing confidence in themselves. The
Holy Prophet used to deal kindly with children. He used to laugh and be humorous with them. He used to
take care of their delight completely. It is imperative upon elders to take care of children‟s feelings and
emotions according to Islam. The elders should understand the youth and train them by having
affectionate and loveable connection with them. It is narrated in a tradition of the Holy Prophet that once
the Holy Prophet kissed his grandson Hassan. Agra bin Habis was sitting there at that time. He said I have
ten children. I never kissed any of them. The Holy Prophet replied:”The one who is not kind to others will
not get kindness for oneself” (Ref: Durar-al-Faraid: Ashiq Ilahii: 2009). It means that one should have
kindness with one‟s children because one who is not kind to others Allah will not be kind to him/her then.
The Holy Prophet kept intact the games which were being played at the time of the Holy Prophet. The
Holy Quran mentions the words of Joseph‟s brothers, which they uttered to their father Jacob, in the story
of Joseph and his brothers “Let him go out with us tomorrow that he may enjoy and play“ (12:12) It is
related with the Holy Prophet that the Holy Prophet took part in competition. In one journey the prophet
had a running competition with Ayesha once in that running competition Ayesha won and the other time
the prophet won. The Holy Prophet then said:”It is in answer to that competition”. (Lawful and the
Unlawful in Islam: 2004).

THE ISLAMIC SHARIAH ENCOURAGES GIVING CHANCES OF JOY AND RECREATION

TO CHILDREN:
Sports and games do have physical, psychological and moral gains for human beings. The Islamic shariah
encourages giving chances of joy and recreation to children keeping the gainful effects of enjoyment.
Imam Ghazali who has a prominent place in Islamic philosophy says that the habit of exercise should be
cultivated into children so that they should not get lethargic. Recreational activities should also be
conducted after their learning lessons. Children should be trained with good moral character and noble
traditions to have social contact in the society. The Holy Prophet said: ”There is no better inheritance than
what a father gives to his son in shape of good moral values” (Ref: Training of children in the light of the
Quran and the traditions of the prophet: 2005). It is imperative to observe kindness in upbringing and
grooming of children. The Holy Prophet never adopted strong behavior with children. Anas, who was the
servant of the prophet, says “I was a child and used to serve the Prophet. The Prophet never scolded me,
and never spoke to me in anger“. (Sunan Abu Dawood: 2000). Kindness and affection train children
better, whereas stern behavior does not have any gain of positive nature. The Holy Prophet said:”Allah
deals with kindness and likes kindness in every dealing.“ (Sunan Abu Dawood: 2000)
Abu-al-Hassan Ali Muhammad Al-Qaalabi, an Arab religious scholar says: “Children in early age have
less comprehension and deserve more that they should be dealt with kindness and affection.” Whenever a
child commits a mistake, the first and foremost way of rectification is to make him/her understand and
warn him/her to bring up a positive attitude and behavior in children. If physical punishment and harsh

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way of talking to them is not avoided; the harsh dealings of the trainer with children, always results in
imitation and negation in children‟s behavior. Sometimes the harsh and rough way of dealings makes
children daring enough to stand up against the trainer. Teaching values and traditions to children, with
physical punishment, should always be avoided. The prophet used to be kind to children. If some child
used to get sick in the neighborhood he used to visit him/her. The Holy Prophet warned all his
companions strongly not to kill any child in war, because children are innocent (Ref: The kind Prophet
and non Muslims: 2007).
A mother plays the most important part in upbringing a child. Most of the time of a child is spent with
his/her mother. Mothers must keep this fact in mind that a girl of today is the mother of tomorrow, and a
boy of today is the father of tomorrow; they both together have to create a society. A mother plays an
important role in developing good or bad habits in a child. If a child commits a mistake it is imperative to
warn him/her. If a mother tries to cover up or ignore or favor the mistakes committed by the child it will
turn the child into an insolent child.

A CHILD IS A TRUST BESTOWED BY ALLAH TO THE PARENTS:

Imam Ghazali says that: “A child is a trust bestowed by Allah to the parents. His/her heart is pure and
clean. Anything which parents want to imprint on him/her will have its impression on the child. He/she
will be successful in this world and the world here after if he/she is equipped with education and good
habits. But he/she will be destroyed in both the worlds if he/she acquires bad habits.” The parents are
equally responsible for ones destruction. There is a famous saying in Arabic literature: “One who exalts
his/her children on others by equipping them with education and values he/she leaves his/her enemies to
go astray.” Omer bin Atba, a prominent scholar of the traditions of the Prophet, when selected a teacher to
teach his son he said to the teacher:”Before teaching and training my son, you should reform yourself first
completely, because my son will keep his eyes always on you. Whatever you will do, in his view, it will
be good only, and whatever you refrain from, will be bad only in his view.”(Training and upbringing of
children in the light of Quran and traditions of the Holy Prophet: 2005).
It is usually observed that relatives and/or guardians of orphan children are not careful in their training
and upbringing. The orphan children are not brought up at par with the children whose parents are alive.
The Islamic shariah does not want to keep away orphan children from the beauty of better training and
upbringing. The Holy Prophet says: „‟The caretaker of orphan children and I will be in paradise like these
two fingers” (of any hand) (Ref: Shah Bukhari: 1981). It means that one who takes care of orphan
children will remain so close to the prophet in paradise like two fingers or like the fingers of a hand which
are close to each other. This is a golden tiding to a person who takes good care of an orphan child and
gives him/her good training. A person complained to the prophet that his heart was stern (meaning his
behavior was stern). The prophet advised him to caress their heads with his hands (be kind to orphans)
and feed the meek. (Ref: Khalaq-al-Muslim: 1997)
These are the traits and values through which Allah blesses one‟s heart with kindness. The purpose of this
is to encourage and tempt a person to take good care of orphan children. There is no doubt that tomorrow
of this world will be remarkably better if children are brought up in a better way. A better and exemplary
society can be created internationally in this way.

GIST OF THE DISCUSSION

The early age training of child hood guides a child up to his last age. So, parents should take good care of
the training of their children in every respect. Intellect and wisdom grow in a child‟s early age, feelings
are begotten, inclination of one‟s nature is determined and personality of a child shapes down in either
way. The habits acquired at this age keep on with him/her up till his/her last age. Due to these reasons,
Islam pays much heed to training of a child and has given different orders for guidance to parents. A
better human being is shaped if these orders are followed in giving training to a child, for better habits

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British Journal of Humanities and Social Sciences 44
June 2012, Vol. 6 (1)

and character. It is necessary that there should be no mistake in undertaking the training of a child so that
the disintegration and deterioration in social values be checked and put back on the way of progress and
betterment. There should be homogeneous and peaceful social global web where everyone should have
respect for others. None should lie nor cheat and everyone should be concerned with others in pain and
joy. These acts are only possible when upbringing and training of children be done on the positive lines.

REFERENCES:
1. Al-Quran: Chapter: Al-Kahaf (The cave): 18:46
2. Al-Quran: Chapter: The Bani Israel: 17:06
3. The Quran: Chapter: Taghabun (Exposition): 64:15
4. The Quran: Chapter: Al-Noor (The light): 24:59
5. The Quran: Chapter: Luqman: 31:17-18
6. Properties of the teaching methodologies of the Prophet: May 2003,p.184 Ikramullah Jan, Alserah;
Karachi
7. The way of training of prophet: 2007; p.13; Surkuddin Nadin; Maktab-e-Islamic Lahore
8. Training of children in the light of Quran and tradition of Prophet: 2005; p.212; Ahmed Khalil
Jamiah Bait-ul-Uloom Lahore
9. Durarul Faraid; Ashiq Ilahi: 2009; p.154, Al Rahim Academy Karachi
10. Al-Quran: Chapter: Yusuf: 12:12
11. Lawful and Unlawful in Islam: 2004; p.404; Yousuf Qardhawi; Maktab-e-Islamia Lahore
12. Training of children in the light of Quran and tradition of the prophet: 2005; p.370 Ahmed Khalil
Jamiah; Bait-ul-Uloom; Lahore
13. Sunan Abu Dawood: 2000; vol.02; p.802; Sulaiman bin Ashaath; Darahya; Al-Turath-al-Arabi
14. Ibid: vol.02; p.807
15. The Prophet of kindness and the non Muslims 2007; p7270; Shafiq-ur-Rehman Shaheen; Al
Maktba Al Sulfia; Lahore
16. Training of children in the light of Quran and traditions of the prophet: 2005, p.412 Ahmed Khalil
Jamiah; Bait-al-Uloom; Lahore
17. Sahi Bukhari: 1981 vol.05; p.2032 Muhammad bin Ismail Bukhari; Dar-ul-Qalam; Damascus
Syria
18. Khalaq–al-Muslim: 1997; p.223; Imam Ghazali; Dar-ul-Qalam, Damascus Syria

© 2012 British Journals ISSN 2048-1268

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