SESSION 5: Overcoming Group Problems

Dealing with Leaders' Behaviors

Understanding the Qualities of an Effective Group Leader

Every' group leader possesses a natural teaching style. Please read the following and underline the phrases that
describe the way you lead a group now.

Leader A
A Question Aslier
By asking questions, this leader encourages students to
think, answer their OVVTI questions, make their own
discoveries, and take more home from the lesson.
A Group Guide
This leader guides the group through the lesson in a
way that lets them see the scenery for themselves and
enjoy the tnp personally, Leader A ' s members are
active, alert, and frequently make personal
applications m their lives. Leader A learns from the
lesson and his members' input.
A Dialogue Traffic Cop
Leader A points members in the right direction
without actually driving them there. Members learn to
find the answers themselves and form personal
convictions for what they learn.
Adapted from: Discipleship Journal's 101 Best Small-Group Ideas. Colorado Springs, CO: Navpress Publishing Group,
1996,22-3.
Leader B
A n Answer Giver
Leader B seldom asks questions, and w hen he does he
wants to answer it himself or wants to be sure the
members answer.it his way. Pauses make him
uncomfortable, so he finds it awkward to wait for a
member to come up with an answer. Members tend to
be passive.
A Know-It-All Narrator
Leader B's style resembles someone showing slides
and telling all about a trip. Leader B gives all the
information and does all the describing. Members tend
to drift o f f and appear inattentive and restless. Rarely
is Leader B concerned about a member's personal
application.
A Doctrine Cop
Members sometimes make w i l d statements and
express unfounded statements. Leader B is quick to
correct all mistakes and disagree with any opinion that
is not like his. He wonders why his members can't
seem to find answers in the Bible - they always wait
for h i m to tell them what to believe. They just won't
think for themselves!.

Leader A is an effective small group leader since he has learned to ask questions, guide the discussion, and
encourage dialogue among members. Y o u may need to intentionally learn to be Leader A . Circle phrases in
describing leader that you would like to incorporate into your leading style.

Setting the Proper Climate

Good group leaders work hard in setting a climate conducive to group interaction. The following are aspects o f
the climate that leaders should consciously address:

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 • Atmosphere o f anticipation
• Chmate o f care
• Temperature o f taist

• Spint o f servmg ;•, . - .

Questions:
1. What are actions that add warmth and a breath of fresh air as described by each chmate quahty?
2. What are actions that turn down the temperature for each quahty above?

Key Actions of Good Group Leaders

n Listens carefully to the members' answers

• Allows silence, this gives members a time to think .,\
• Asks members to clarify or explain further their answers
• In\ohes all members... e\en the quiet ones
• .Accepts all members ...
• Respects members" answers, never causing them to lose face

Dealing with Group Members' Behaviors

A l l groups face difficulties, especially in the formation phase o f the groups. Leaders should not be surprised by
problems they face. Neither should they be unprepared. Below is a summary o f typical group problems and
suggested approaches to deal with them.

SYMPTOMS PROBLEMS APPROACHES

Members come late • Group habit of starting late • Set a definite time and begin promptly
• Exact time unclear • Discuss with the group: "We're having trouble
starting on time. Is this too early?"

• Too much expected • Be realistic. May need to change expectations

Agreed-on preparation not
completed
• Not clear how it relates to what • Check to make sure the group understands and
the group will do. agrees to preparation.
• Lack of commitment (may relate
to being too busy & other
priorities)

• Questions asked are too hard or • Follow sequence of observation before

too easy. interpretation
• Not enough observation questions • Have quiet members read passage out loud
asked • Remind members "Verbal people need to hold
• Not prepared „. '.. , „ back at times. Quiet members need to force
Quiet members • Lack of openness themselves to speak up."
• Leaders & others not handling • Use "direct" questions to quiet members (but
silence, jumping in too quickly. be sure he can answer it)
• On an applicadon question, do a round where
each person in the circle responds.
• Allow time after a question for people to
speak.
• Allow many to respond to a question

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O v e r l y t a l k a t i v e members
Issue that caused
disagreement among the
group
A h v a y s - r i g l i t members
Pacing slow or fast
Conversational p r a y e r stilled
G r o u p i n g r o w n ; no g r o w t h
or mission
Superficial s h a r i n g
f
- relationships
M e m b e r s w i t h on-going
personal problems
(Source.- Mobilizing Small Groups,
• Overly opinionated
• Doesn't like silence
• Sees thing quickly
• Verbal people " w i n out"
• Tangents
• Not accepting differences
• Think they know the right way for
everything
• Lack o f sensiti\-ity to others and
their opinions
• Too much time on some parts
• Little interaction
• Questions simplistic or too
general
• Lack o f tmst _- •
• New to the members
• Members not aware o f how to
pray
• Purpose o f group unclear
• Topics not motivating
• L i m i t e d vision for the growth o f
God's k i n g d o m
• Purpose o f group too self
centered
• Leader not setting the example
• Application not specific
• Group not being challenged to
grow
• Problems dominate group life
• Member monopolizes group with
his personal crisis
session 10, by N e i l T y )
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• Talk to the person privately
• Mention that we need silence after some
questions to look and reflect
• Ask h i m to help draw others into the
discussion
• State ground rules o f openness and acceptance
• Stick to the passage and topic
» Suggest they discuss the issue after the
meeting
• Agree that there are differences o f opinion on
this issue, and ask them what they do agree on.
» Talk to the person privately and encourage
h i m to be sensitive to the others
» D o not argue with the person, put the focus
back on the passage
• A l l o w the group to see the "right" person's
frame o f reference
<• Plan time for each section o f discussion
<> M o v e between the parts ( H B L T ) using good
transitions
<> Ask for specifics or clarifications when people
answer.
> Allov,' a number to respond to the question
•> Spend more time building community and
praying for needs
« Explain conversational prayer, pray for one
topic before moving on to the next
Have a study on prayer
• Plan non-thi'eatening activities to invite new-
people vi'ho w i l l become part o f the group
• Focus the topic on the character o f God,
purposes o f God, aspects o f group life or Hfe
o f the church
• Plan group exercises carefully to foster
development
• Ask for specifics when they share, don't just
accept superficial responses
Meet one on one outside the group to develop
• Talk individually with the person, suggesting
resources to help h i m
• Help group see its purpose, support groups are
not therapy groups
Continue to pray and lovingly support the
person