Brussels Brief - EU Trainee Bible - Autumn 2019

EU Trainee Bible
BRUSSELSBRIEF.EU
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Contents
WELCOME
ALL ABOUT THE CREDITS
Welcome to the EU Trainee Bible and an introduction to
Brussels Brief, the EU’s freshest weekly digest explaining
the EU.
BEFORE YOUR TRAINEESHIP

PREPARING & WONDERING
Where do I live, breathe? Where am I? What is an EU?
Answers to the elementary questions, covered.
DURING YOUR TRAINEESHIP

BEHAVING AND PLAYING
How do I act? What do I say? What do I do? Making the
most of your traineeship both in and out of the office.
AFTER YOUR TRAINEESHIP

DEVELOPING & THRIVING
What’s my life’s purpose? How can I get on the gravy train?
You get one shot at the Eurobubble...Mom’s spaghetti.
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Welcome
Hello, Hola, Bonjour, Blá, Hallo, Hej, Guten Tag, Tere, Ciao, Здравейте, Jó Napot, Sveiki, Γεια
σας, Bok, Ahoj, Moïen, Hei, Hallå, Cześć, Salut, Živjo,
Congratulations for making it to your EU traineeship (and through that greeting). Whether you are
fresh out of your European Studies bachelors / masters or looking for a way of getting a taste of
the gravy train life of a Eurocrat, you have done well in overcoming the notoriously difficult selec-
tion process and wonderfully convoluted red tape to confirm your place among the EU institutions
in the next few months.
“The Bubble”, as it is often referred to, is a place of European diversity, of people coming together
to work for, in and around the EU. You will experience what this is all about as you meet other
trainees, colleagues, heads of units and more. Be ready to get your conversation skills up and run-
ning because the multitude of languages spoken here is impressive.
You are one of over 900 people who will undergo a traineeship in the Commission along with some
300 Schuman Parliament trainees, not to mention the Council and Committee trainees, NGO’s,
PermReps and many more. Rest assured, your unit and the European Quarter will certainly be
ready to host you. You, on the other hand, may not be so ready. Several hundreds of you will be
scavenging to open bank accounts, register your residence and maybe even find a home.
But don’t panic.
To get you started, we at Brussels Brief bring you our indispensable insider tips to give you a head
start on your traineeship. We hope you’ll enjoy your time here and maybe even get a job out of
it...?
Bonne Chance!
The Brussels Brief Team

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What is Brussels Brief?
Brussels Brief is a weekly newsletter about the EU and European politics.
It is no secret that we live in an age of news and media saturation and fake news. This is why we
made Brussels Brief with our own millennial generation in mind, keeping things informative but
infused with a healthy sense of humour and bringing a myriad of perspectives.
Every week we provide an ‘executive summary’ so you can stay in the loop with the most im-
portant and interesting stories of the week in European politics in a fresh, concise and irreverent
newsletter.
It only takes 5 min to read so why not try it out - you can sign up here.
On top of that, with all trainees in mind, we made the ‘EU Trainee Bible’ to provide the fraternal
advice we needed but wasn’t available to us at the time of our own traineeships.
Following on from the success of our previous edition, we decided to update our ‘EU Trainee Bible’.
Combined we have experience from all the major institutions, so we hope our experiences can be
of help to you no matter where you’ll be.
You can subscribe to Brussels Brief here, like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter and Insta-
gram.
We hope you’ll enjoy it.

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Introduction to Eurocracy
You are now officially a Eurocrat. Congratulations! Everyone hates you.
Being a Eurocrat is an unloved job. You make too many rules (not as a trainee, you won’t), you are
paid fat salaries (nope, not even close as a trainee), and you spend all day drinking wine with lob-
byists plotting to remove democracy from real people (if only).
The EU bubble is a world far removed from most ordinary people’s lives and you will have a full
time job ahead of you trying to explain the difference between the Council of the European Union
and the European Council, and why the EU is not 21st century Stalinism and/or Neoliberalism run
amok (often to the same person). Good luck with that!
Brussels is a fascinating place with most of the 30,000 Commission staff working here; the 751
egos (MEPs), and their assistants, not to mention much of the 6000 strong European Parliament
staff; the 3500 Staff working for the Council, the 28 (at the time of printing!) member states, per-
manent representations and an army of lobbyists (that includes both private sector suits, NGO
hippies and everything in between). Did we also mention that NATO has its headquarters here?!
Point is, you’ll get to meet a lot of different people as long as you try to reach out.
This ‘Bible’ has, as its mission, the Herculean task of easing your way into the brave new world of
EU intricacies, unspoken rules and constant hustle for jobs. Hopefully, it will bring a little clarity for
your new work, explain a bit about the context you are working in and give you some useful tips
and tricks in order to land that sweet gig as an overpaid lobbyist when you finish your traineeship.
1. Before Your Traineeship
Brussels Brief Before Your Traineeship
If there is one thing you should have learnt from your high school literature class, it is that every
story has a beginning, middle and an end. The same applies to traineeships but in this case there
is a bunch of work to be done even before your first day on the job.
1.1 Accommodation
Brussels is a bustling city with hopeful politi- Also, it’s important to note that it is likely that
cians, young (and sometimes idealistic) profes- your landlord will ask you to create an account
sionals, evil lobbyists (and a few benign ones), to ‘block’ between 1-3 months of rent as guar-
journalists, students and many more moving in antee. This is quite common in Belgium, al-
and out all the time. So there are always rooms, though it does vary from landlord to landlord.
apartments and houses opening up for new Your new Belgian bank is familiar with the pro-
tenants. cedure and it only takes a few minutes to make
a blocked account and fill out the documents.
Short term rentals (perfect if you’re only staying Once you leave the apartment, your landlord
for 6 months) are possible across the board but signs off on a similar document to release the
there are a few things you need to be aware deposit, and the money should be transferred
of. The standard rental contract is 3 years, so within a few weeks (as long as you didn’t tear
make sure you clarify the length of your con- things up during your birthday houseparty).
tract even before you walk into the viewing.
Shorter rentals are available at the discretion
of the landlord, or under a sublet agreement
with someone on a three year contract. This
latter option is quite common and perfectly
legit. However, you may have some issues on
registering with your local commune (more on
that later) if you opt for this.
The options vary depending on preferred loca-

tion and budget. However, what’s important to
know is that Facebook groups specific to the
Brussels housing market, such as Bruxelles à
louer, are extremely useful, with a frequent ex-
change of places and details.
Rooms typically rent between €400 and €600

and it is usually easy to find a place close to
the “European Quarter”. Look out for whether
or not charges (water, electricity, gas, heating)
as well as internet are included in the total rent
price and watch out for those scammers. As
the old adage goes, if it looks too good to be
true, it probably is, and if you’re asked to make
a bank transfer through sketchy payment op-
tion before you have even seen the room, send
them a turd sandwich instead.
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In general, many landlords can be both accom- be a good solution if you want to have a base in
modating and understanding of short term Brussels before you settle on a permanent new
rental needs. However, make sure to have home.For those who need an extra night lamp,
agreed on an arrangement as some might want dinner table or just a more practical shoe rack,
you to find a replacement to take over your we can recommend using Facebook’s market-
room or require some form of guarantee that place where people sell interior decor at very
you won’t trash their house. low prices, and often for free.
“Rooms typically rent between €400 and €600

and it is usually easy to find a place close to the
European Quarter”
Useful websites for accommodation searches This can save you both money and a lot of time
include: in going all the way to IKEA for that Güngla
you’ve been needing.
• Bruxelles à louer
• Bxl à Louer - de bouche à oreille ( II) on Need help to feed your fish or move a sofa? Try
Facebook the app Hoplr which connects you with people
• Immoweb.be on the World Wide Web. in your neighbourhood and helps spread rele-
vant information, build a community and allows
If you wish to establish yourself for a short pe- you to borrow a cup of sugar from your neigh-
riod while you go apartment hunting, a tem- bour. Who said you cannot have a village com-
porary option is Brusselsdestination.be where munity in the big city?
you can rent rooms or apartments on a weekly
basis. While this is a bit more expensive, it can
A typical trainee housing block
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1.2 Transportation
A well-functioning transportation system is the such as bus, train and metro, make sure to get a
life vein of any 21st century metropolis, ensur- MoBiB card with either single trips or a commut-
ing that people and goods can move from point er subscription early on. A monthly subscription
A to B with ease and avoid unnecessary loss of for the network costs €49. A single ticket costs
time in transit limbo. But how does Brussels fare €2.10, while a 5 jump ticket stands at €8 and a
on this point? 10 jump ticket currently at €14.
Not all metro stations are this pristine

Ask a Neapolitan if they think the Brussels As of 2018, the Brussels metro lines have start-
transportation system works well and they’re ed requiring you to both check yourself in at the
likely to praise it like you did Britney Spears in tolls and out when you exit. Make sure to keep
the 1990s. Ask a Nordic, and they might refer to your ticket on you because turnstile jumping
Britney in 2007. twice is not a good look. This is also necessary
when exiting the train at Brussels International
To be fair, Brussels transportation takes you from Airport (Zaventem). Be aware that there is an
one place to another with certainty. They work additional ticket fee of €5.40 for taking the train
efficiently and run frequently enough. They’re to the airport.
also not the dirtiest! Metro, buses and trams are
packed, and get particularly tricky during rush There are two MoBiB cards available: one is a
hours. A major setback, however, is the fact that basic card that you can buy over the counter
the metro closes after midnight and night buses and the other is one with your mugshot, for
(Noctis) run at a reduced interval. monthly or annual subscriptions. If you don’t
have a picture ready, it can be taken at the ticket
In order to navigate the transport system in a counter in Gare du Midi when you buy a card. It
cost-effective (and legal) way, several options only takes a few minutes. Google Maps can tell
are available to you. For traditional transport you how to use the network but you can also
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download the official STIB-MVIB app to get up- Bikes

dates on which bus connects to your metro line
(or not). Want to go green? Forget the Villo city bicycles,
for which you will need a subscription.
If you want to go out of the city and visit “the
real Belgium”, the Belgian rail service SNBC has Instead go for a Billy Bike. Push bikes with elec-
several discount options offering cheap 10-jour- tric assistance for Brussels’ uneven landscape,
ney tickets, weekend discounts (half price) and these e-bikes allow you to cruise the European
cheaper options for those so young they don’t capital in a smooth manner and avoid arriving to
remember a time before WiFi. work without being all sweaty.
“Brussels traffic is both notoriously congested and

rowdy. Be mindful of where you are going”
Alternatively, one of the shiny red Uber Jump
Other options that have seen increasing pop- bikes, which you will see scattered across the
ularity in the last few years include the omni- city, are a good option too. Its as simple as the
present electrical scooters. Rented by the min- click on your app and off you go with an electric
ute, the Brussels landscape is dominated by the assisted kick.
shocking green Lime e-scooters. To get start-
ed, you simply download the app and use your Pro-tip: Dutch startup Swapfiets has emerged
phone to unlock the many e-scooters around in several European countries in record time
the city for a short and speedy trip. Make sure and with good reason. You rent a bike for 18€
to look up and around because these things can per month and that’s it. No deposit to pay and
be dangerous if misused. all issues with your bike like flat tires, bad brakes
or a loose kickstand are taken care of by the
Need to look good for you date and want to ar- swipe on your app after which they come and
rive with a bit of swagger? Try Scooty, a Belgian swap your bike with a fresh one. No questions
startup that allows you to rent scooters (Vespa asked, zero hassle. A great option for the trainee
style) around the city of Brussels in a use by use in town for a few months.
basis all via your smartphone. You need a valid
driver’s license for either scooters or a type B
car license in order to drive these (normal car You decided to buy your own bike but need
driver’s license). Charged by the minute, they parking spaces? Well there is a solution to that
are a godsent in the warmer months. now. Several communes have the iconic green
cyclo boxes where you can park your bike safely
If you are picking up grandma at the airport or and with ease of mind. A subscription will only
need to go shopping big for your housewarm- cost you €60 per year. That’s not a bad price for
ing, car sharing app Ubeeqo is an option to rent bike safety these days.
a car by the hour with prices starting at €3.5/
hour. Another option is Zencar, which has an If you do take a bike though, be warned that
exclusively electric car fleet. Even a trainee can Brussels traffic and air quality together don’t
afford a Sedan these days. make for the ideal match.
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One last but important note: Brussels traffic Out of Belgium

is both notoriously congested and rowdy. Be
mindful of where you are going as cars come Staying in the heart of Europe isn’t cutting it for
turning around narrow corners at high speed. you? Do you need to breathe some fresh(er) air
Similarly, cyclists and pedestrians have little re- in another city? There are some alternative es-
gard for traffic lights. Most importantly, due to cape routes you can use without having to sell
the many different people gathered here, there your plasma at the nearest blood bank.
is no clear traffic culture which means it is par-
ticularly difficult to understand the daily traffic Flixbus offers budget-friendly trips between
patterns and the hazardous pedestrian or cyclist most major European cities and with more
risks getting more action than they bargained than 150 destinations served from Brussels it
for. is probably the best thing to happen to youth
travels since the interrail-pass. Prices can go as
For the big spender: Taxis are present close to low as €11 for a single journey to other major
your preferred watering hole but might cost you cities but remember to book well in advance to
more than your meagre pay can bear. Alterna- save the big bucks.
tively, Uber is still alive and kicking in Brussels.
If you go with a group of 3-4 people it can even
pay off rather than each buying a ticket for the IZY Train: Paris is a wonderful city and so close.
metro. But we know how it is being short on cash and
a Thalys ticket for €99 one-way just doesn’t cut
If you arrive from Charleroi Airport (the low- it. Rejoice for there are other options for the
fare airport in Brussels) the only transportation travelling youth. IZY trains offers cheap tickets
option into the city is the Flibco bus. The Bus between Brussels and Paris going all the way
arrives and departs at Gare du Midi. This bus down to €10 if you don’t mind standing up for a
service costs €17 at the counter and €14.20 if few hours. Regular seats can go as low as €29,
purchased online. leaving your wallet intact and allowing you to
focus on the really important things in life: pas-
Pro-tip: if you want to take an Uber from Gare tis and pétanque.
du Midi beware that the app is blocked around
the station. You will therefore have to go around
a corner before you can hail a ride for you and
your luggage.
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1.3 Getting Started - As Soon as You Arrive
Opening A Bank Account:
If you want to get paid, you will need a Belgian bank ing tabs on their residents and administering a range
account. There are numerous options including BNP of public services like garbage collection or the su-
Paribas, KBC and Belfius. For convenience, we sug- per-local police force.
gest you try ING, a Dutch bank conveniently located
in Schuman and Place Luxembourg. They are famil- But with great diversity comes even greater differ-
iar with welcoming new trainees and setting up an ences. Some communes have a good reputation for
account quickly and painlessly. ING will offer you a being well organised while others have a, shall we
Maestro debit card which works perfectly well in Bel- call it somewhat lagging reputation for efficient pub-
gium. lic services (we’re looking at you Bruxelles-Ville). To
say that there are any uniform experiences when
However, it makes online shopping a bit of a pain dealing with the public authorities in Brussels would
as you need a separate card reader. For this and for be as close to a Trumpian lie as we could go. In fact,
a venture into fintech, we recommend Revolut, an we have both heard and experienced all kinds of ser-
app where you can add funds onto a prepaid (Visa vices ranging from the expedient and pleasant to the
card) and has a bunch of other benefits such as spot outright nightmarish ones queuing in line for hours
foreign exchange rates and the ability to transfer and in the morning only to be sent home with nothing to
receive funds to and from your friends instantly. show for it.
A few things to remember when getting your bank At the time of printing there are still 19 communes:
account: it is important you head there bright and Anderlecht
early to schedule an appointment. Lunch and after Auderghem (Oudergem)
work hours are likely to be packed with people so do
Berchem-Sainte-Agathe (Sint-Agatha-Berchem)
try to get an early squeeze.
Ville-Bruxelles (Stad Brussel)
If possible, go before your traineeship starts. Your Etterbeek
monthly salary and drunken withdrawals will thank Evere
you for it (you avoid extra fees for operating from Forest (Vorst)
a Belgian account). Remember to bring your trainee Ganshoren
contract with you (and of course some picture ID) as
Ixelles (Elsene)
the bank will require some form of documentation
for your employment. Other than that it’s pretty sim- Jette
ple and can be done in less than 30 minutes. oekelberg
Molenbeek Saint Jean (Sint Jans Molenbeek)
Registering in Your Commune: Saint-Gilles (Sint-Gillis)
Saint-Josse-ten-Noode (Sint-Joost-ten-Node)
Registering at your commune helps keep track of
Schaerbeek (Schaarbeek)
your residency and allows you to be added to a sys-
tem that holds you accountable for paying two taxes: Uccle (Ukkel)
transport and recycling trash. Watermael-Boitsfort (Watermaal-Bosvoorde)
Woluwe Saint Lambert (Sint Lambrechts Woluwe)
Brussels is divided into 19 semi-autonomous units: Woluwe-Saint-Pierre (Sint-Pieters-Woluwe)
communes. Each of these are responsible for keep
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To register you head to your commune’s office cy. Make sure to have your name on the door.
(see the relevant link above for address and If this step goes well, you can return to the
opening hours). We recommend you start the Commune office in the coming days to pick up
process online if your Commune allows this or your residency card. Job complete and what’s
call them to set up an appointment in order to more, you can actually consider Brussels ‘home’
avoid wasting hours standing in queues. When from now on.
you go to the commune office you will need to
bring: An ID (Passport or similar); 2 ID passport One word though. Although not legally kosher,
sized photos (there are photo machines avail- many (if not most) short term residents in Brus-
able at Gare Centrale and Gare du Midi) and sels never bother to register. Even some long
your rental contract. The clerk assigned will term residents find the whole process too cum-
help you register in the system. It is worth not- bersome to be bothered. But we advise that
ing that all bureaucratic processes are in French you do register in order to have your arrange-
and Dutch only. ments in place should something unforeseen
happen. And as a representative of both your
A somewhat peculiar feature of the registration home country and the glorious European Union,
is a follow up by the police. They will come by we shouldn’t be the ones to encourage breaking
your house in the coming weeks (making sure the rules. At least not while we are merely hum-
you are home at the same time as the police is ble trainees. That stuff is for the big shots...
the tricky bit) to confirm your place of residen-
Gym Membership
It goes without saying that physical exercise is great for the body, burning off those Belgian fries,
but also for the brain, activating just the right kind of dopamine to keep you going through a
dreary working week. So if you feel like staying active off-work hours, here are some options:
BasicFit is a decent gym that has several spaces across the city. The convenience lies in the
membership being valid for any one location. You can go to the ones in the European Quarter on
work days and have the option of other ones, for instance closer downtown, on the weekends.
Bonus feature: they have locations in 5 countries with universal access to members.
Jims is also another feasible option with several locations across the city, although the same rule
of free entry doesn’t apply. JIMS often run promotion campaigns so check if they have an offer
that suits your needs..
Wildcard option, there is also another option right by the parliament: World Class. Although
this one has only one location, its indoor pool makes it all worth the while.
Winners Club is a less conventional option for those keen on spending a little extra money on
a less crowded, more varied gym option. From indoor rock climbing to aerobics and yoga, this
place will soothe any tight muscle knot.
Membership can vary between gym and depending on the package you choose, but you are safe
in estimating anywhere between 20-30 euro per month one most of the above.
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Yoga & Pilates studios Running events
If you are more into mind and body workouts, For the runners in you, Brussels is a great place!
Brussels is increasingly growing its yoga stu- If you’re a long time fan of the sport, this city
dios presence. It doesn’t matter where you live, will introduce you to a multicultural environ-
you’ll quickly find one of these restorative plac- ment of fellow runners from all over Europe
es near you. and more. If you’re only beginning, Brussels is
a good place to train over flat and hill-like ter-
Yoga Room is a renowned classic, with 4 lo- rains.
cations (Saint Gilles, Uccle, Stockel and most
recently Schaerbeek) this studio offers a vast 20 km of Brussels: this event is held every
variety of yogas: rom yoga for beginners, to de- May. For many, it’s the motivation they didn’t
tox flow, to hot yoga you’ll find it all. know they needed to get their summer body
on. With an average of 40,000 runners a year,
If you are looking for pilates or gyrotonic - a it’s typically a city-round events with crowds
form of exercise that uses a specific apparatus gathering to chant, drum and tempt the run-
to help you move in a circular motion and open ners into sugary-stacks to keep them going to
the hips - Corpus Studios is the place to be. the end. Watch this year’s 40th anniversary
With 2 locations in the city (Place de Londres video for inspiration.
and Flagey), it serves much of Ixelles popula-
tion. Brussels Half Marathon & Marathon occur si-
multaneously in the fall of every year. Less pop-
Also with 2 locations (Chatelain and Tromberg), ulated, both of these events are typically lived
Brussels oga Lo is an alternative option for with a little more seriousness than their 20
those looking for a yoga studio with a variety of km counterpart. A good opportunity for those
classes and hours. looking for a little challenge and a chance to
stay fit through the colder months.
Decently priced, Bikram Yoga Louise offers
only hot yoga classes for the truly dedicated.
Serendip Spa & Yoga is situated in Place Steph-

anie and is the best of both worlds, bringing
together an ample choice of yoga courses as
well as a spa center. Treat the mind, body and
soul all in one here.
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Phone
With EU roaming finally abolished, rejoice, you can actually use your phone while abroad without
bleeding money. But should you want to get a local Belgian number (good idea if you want to get
called up for a job interview post-traineeship) then try out one of these options:
Mobile Vikings: an easy solution that allows for you to top-up as you go, with different packages
heavy on either data, calling or texting. They can send you a sim card for free and you just take
it from there, easy-peasy.
Proximus: The legacy company in Belgium (they had a monopoly). Unfortunately we haven’t had
the best experiences with Proximus, so we suggest you try someone else. Monopolies just aren’t
very EU’ish (preach to Vestager).
French hegemon Orange is also available but might be the better choice if you want to go for a
full package of TV, Internet and phone subscription.
Internet
If your new home doesn’t have internet then you might be in for a rough ride. Most Belgian
operators are slow and expensive, with a cap limit on your amount of surfing. That is not ideal
when you are trying to binge watch Borgen. On top of that, most try to bundle you with a TV and
phone subscription. That’s a load of beeswax if you’re only here for 6 months, so check if your
apartment has some kind of internet.
Should you need to acquire your own internet package, then try out Telenet. It takes about
a week for them to come by, but you can schedule an appointment for either the morning
(9am-1pm) or the afternoon (2pm-8pm), which is as good a service as we have experienced
here.
“With EU roaming finally abolished, rejoice,

you can actually use your phone while abroad
without bleeding money”
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1.4 The City

Brussels is in some ways an international cosmopolitan city and beacon of multiculturalism. In other
ways, it’s the worst of Europe. It has all the chaos of the South and none of the infrastructure of the
North. Equally it has all the climate of the North and not much of the friendliness of the South. In any
case, you’ll grow to love the place, much like an ugly child of yours that you just can’t help to see as
cute.
Practical Information - Lost in Trans-

lation
Being a bilingual city, remember that

all proper names in Brussels, for exam-
ple street names, parks, landmarks etc.
have both a French and Flemish moniker:
Bruxelles-Ville = Stad Brussel; Ixelles =
Elsene; Port de Namur = Naamsepoort
and so on. Sometimes it is more obvious
than others (maybe Rue des Deux Eglis-
es is obviously Tweekerkenstraat to you),
but people almost exclusively refer to the
names in French.
However, a bus or tram might have the

name written in Flemish, so it is helpful to
remember a few places (your address) in
both tongues. This is also a good thing to
keep in mind when you write down the
address of your newest crush on Google
Maps and feel helplessly lost.
Neighbourhoods
There is a reason they put the EU in Bel-

gium. They’re quite used to politics be-
ing complicated. Not only is the country
divided in Flemish north, Walloon south
and love child Brussels stuck in the mid-
dle (yes we left out the tiny German en-
clave, sorry), but Brussels is itself divided
into 19 communes as described above.
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What Brussels lacks in city wide management it

makes up for in diversity. The city is a sprawling
amalgamation of Belgian society combined with
immigrant neighbourhoods, influences from
Belgium’s less than stellar colonial legacy, uni-
versity areas, EU institutions, parks and recre-
ational areas and much more.
The European Institutions i.e. The European

Parliament, the Council and the Commission’s
headquarter (the Berlaymont building) along
with most of the other DGs (see the EU 101
section for more information) as well as most
Permanent Representations and the vast land-
scape of NGO lobby offices, are all located in
the “European Quarter” colloquially named so,
for fairly obvious reasons. The majority of these
offices lie within the Etterbeek or Ixelles neigh-
bourhood and have a distinct “Eurobubble” feel-
ing with very little French heard, but a surpris-
ingly high rate of Spanish and Italian.
The most popular areas among students and

young professionals are Ixelles, Etterbeek, Brux-
elles-Ville, Saint-Gilles and Schaerbeek. They
are all close to the main EU buildings around
Schuman and it is relatively easy to find afford-
able accommodation on a trainee budget.
Bruxelles-Ville is the so-called centre of Brus-

sels that reaches all the way to the outskirts (the
Atomium belongs to Bruxelles Ville). Nonethe-
less this is where the Grand Place is and where
Brussels’s favourite couple, Manneken and Jean-
neke Pis, live. It will probably become the place
where you spend most of your time, especially
when you have visitors over, as the hotspots of
Saint Catherine, Dansaert, Mont Des Arts and
Marolles are all within the scope of the 1000
postcode.
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Schaerbeek lies to the area opposite of Ixelles Sandwiched in between Ixelles and Schaerbeek,
and Etterbeek. A slow burner these days but is Etterbeek. Densely populated with Eurobub-
perfect walking distance to the EU institutions ble migrants as any place, but with fewer natural
at Schuman. A very young neighbourhood with splendors such as lakes or parks it is perhaps
a diverse population, it is a common go-to area not the place you will settle in in the long term.
for new trainees looking to find their first Brus- Etterbeek does, however, come with both a
sels flat. It also holds family friendly Parc Josa- close proximity to the EU institutions and hosts
phat and borders Parc Cinquantenaire, a good legendary Maison Antoine on Place Jourdan,
spot to go for a run. thereby offering its inhabitants the best fries
available in Brussels, at least judging by the
Ixelles hosts the dubious honor of being the queue ever present there.
youngest area of Brussels, popular with univer-
sity students, undoubtedly because it hosts the Saint-Gilles is the up and coming trendy wun-
Université Libre de Bruxelles (ULB) and the Vri- derkind of Brussels where we all hope to move
je Universiteit Brussel (VUB). Ixelles also hosts someday when we get that permanent contract.
subsection Matonge which takes its name after Parts of Saint-Gilles have a distinct affluent vibe
a neighbourhood in Kinshasa. You get a truly Af- while others are a microcosm of Brussels and
rican vibe here at the many bars, hairdressers, in many ways it is a real reflection of the city.
groceries as well as the wonderful restaurants It is also the home of a significant Portuguese
which lie side by side on Rue de la Long Vie. The community as seen by the number of restau-
Perfect place to get some succulent mutton or a rants and even the local church which does
whole fried fish. Beware of the chili though. It is special services in Portuguese. The summer-
not for the faint-hearted. time sees Saint-Gilles host a number of small
markets making it the perfect place to go for an
after-work drink.
18
Weather — The Belgian Tax You’re Paying
Oh, Bruxelles ma belle, what is there to say? Need to go full on Nigel Farage and must have
We learn to love you at your worst, so that we your home products in order to satiate the eu-
can enjoy you at your finest. You might not be rosceptic in your stomach? Place Jourdan hosts
paying any taxes on your EU wage, but the tax several nationality specialty stores including a
you’re paying is the Belgian weather. Polish; a Sicilian; a Russian shop and the infa-
mous Scanshop for all Northerners.
Brussels has a lot to offer but blue skies and
sunshine are not always on the menu. When For the post-structuralist consumer, try bio-su-
they are though, it is bliss. The rest of the time, permarket Färmer at Saint Catherine which also
cover up, wear waterproof shoes, and forget has a wide selection of vegan and gluten-free
your umbrella. The wet, windy rain ensures your products.
umbrella does not survive over a week. Don’t
believe us? Try your luck. If you haven’t had the time for groceries all
week, the Chasseurs Ardennais market in
Groceries and Home Goods Schaerbeek on Friday afternoons will save you.
A well-rounded supply of produce, meats and
For all the little things in your new home, Hema fish. Plus, a chance to have a snack and a good
and Zeeman are fantastically utilitarian; spoons, local beer while you’re at it.
towels, glasses, sheets. Any utility for your new
house can be found here and you’ll most likely A great farmer’s market if you are keen to start
become great friends with the staff after 5-6 re- the week right on Mondays is the one located in
peat visits. Enjoy the treasure hunt. For a more the square of Saint Gilles’ commune: the Markt
eclectic and less useful trip, go to Flying Tiger, Van Meenenplein. While there is ample choice
the Danish superstore of wondrous eclectic ev- of food, it is also a good chance to start the
erythings. week with a social drink.
Brussels is home to a few supermarkets, some The Barn bio market located in both Etterbeek
of which are dominant in the francophone and Saint Gilles is a great place for some indoor
world, but not well known outside. Carrefour, organic produce. Highly recommended if you
a standard supermarket with most basic goods, are into sustainable grocery shopping.
is ubiquitous. Good croissants and baked goods
for that homemade brunch. Local champion, Having your gluten allergic uncle visiting? Take
Delhaize, is similar although less ubiquitous. a trip to the gluten-free bakery Chambelland in
Good place to go if you’re having a crémaillère outer-Ixelles.
(housewarming).
German socialist paradises Aldi and Lidl offer

the shopping prices most friendly to your train-
ee level income. They also have the best gin and
whiskeys in the world. So this is likely the place
to go for an early weekend start. Need to go
heavy shopping? Colruyt is a good option for
the trainee who needs to buy by the bulk.
19
Pro tip : If you want to shop like a pro go to the outdoor bazaar at Gare du Midi on Sundays (6am-
2pm). The bazaar is one of the biggest outdoor markets in Europe, so if you have the stomach for hag-
gling a bit you can get a good deal on vegetables, flowers, clothes. Basically anything you could want
for your new home in the Capital of Europe, straight out of all the other capitals of Europe. Poetic and
cheap.
Pro tip : Marche des Tanneurs is a fruit and vegetable market that sells coveted bio products that are
very in right now. All joking aside, most if not all of their products are locally sourced and reasonably
priced
Pro tip : A tech solution that will save the world is the app TooGoodToGo. The idea is that restau-
rants and supermarkets post portions of food in the morning that they are likely going to have left over
by the end of the day for a tiny fraction of the price. All in the name of reducing food waste you need
to be ready to be quick to the mark in purchasing the portions on that day, and a tad bit of patience
while you wait for the closing time in order to go and pick up your well-gotten gains.
20
1.5 EU 101
The EU is a strange beast. More of a federal state than an international organisation giving people
some nervous twitches, but not enough of a state to make others happy. What matters in the EU is
compromise and getting legislation through, which is a long process involving multitudes of partners,
institutions, political and cultural considerations and some finely honed political skills. But you’re here
to change the world, so go ahead. But don’t be surprised if your policy document gets stuck in a heari
ng for 6-8 months. Below we briefly go through the main EU actors, and most likely your new boss.
This building is known as the Berlaymont. Not to be confused with Berlaymonster
The European Commission The Commission employs around 30.000 people.

That may sound like the Persian army, but remem-
The European Commission is the EU’s executive ber these people service the EU’s 500 million cit-
arm. Nobody knows what that means exactly, but izens, so it’s more like Sparta. In comparison, the
basically it is the EU’s government. It consists of US federal government employs around 2 million
28 Commissioners (one from each country) lead people. What’s more, the EU only has about 1%
by the President (sort of like your Prime Minister of the Member States total GDP. Compare that to
at home). 20% in the US or 57% in France and the Commis-
sion immediately looks much less enormous.
Known as ‘the Guardian of the Treaties’, it is ex-
clusively responsible for proposing laws, checking Of all the EU budget, 94% is spent back in Mem-
that member states are doing what they should ber States (that means less money for trainees),
be doing in implementing EU law and running the placing some restrictions on what the Commission
day to day EU affairs. But there’s a limit to the joy. can implement in terms of utopian EU rules. The
The Commission has wide powers when it comes Commission is accountable before the European
to market regulation, notably competition policy Parliament, and its President is practically elected
(anyone in Google or Apple noticed recently?). by the Parliament by the beautifully onomatopoe-
Meanwhile, it is far more restricted by Member ic ‘Spitzenkandidaten’ procedure. If It sounds like
States in other areas like taxation, education and democracy. New Commission President, Ursula
foreign policy. Von Der Leyen who is set to take over as of 1 No-
vember was surprisingly not chosen through this
process...
21
The European Parliament

The only directly elected EU institution, so it’s by us citizens, so fair enough). Made up of 751
basically your guarantee for democratic participa- MEPs (Member of the European Parliament) elect-
tion. It has grown from a symbolic place with vir- ed by somewhat proportional voting in the mem-
tually no influence to a political powerhouse equal ber states, it consists of several political groups,
to the Council of Ministers and has since 2014 the biggest ones being the conservative EPP the
decided that it elects the Commission president Social Democratic S&D and the liberal, uhm, ‘cen-
by a cheeky interpretation of the Lisbon Treaty. trist’ Renew Europe group.
The EP has equal say in almost all legislation and For legislation to pass it usually requires a majority,
never misses a chance to let anyone know that which no single political group has, meaning that
it feels it should be more involved (it is elected compromise is not just a virtue, but unavoidable.
This is where the democracy sausage is made
22
The Council The European Council
The Council of the European Union. We’ll just Wait what? didn’t you just mention that? Well not
say Council, thank you very much. This is where exactly. The European Council is where the EU
Member States meet and vote according to na- heads of state (presidents, prime ministers) meet
tional interests with final say belonging to, you a few times a year to discuss the general direc-
guessed it, the national ministers. tion of the EU. It’s sort of a parent version of the
Council.
Technically 10 council formations exist (one for
agriculture, one for foreign policy and so on) who Although the European Council is not part of the
then work together with the European Parlia- daily legislative process, it is important because
ment on finding a compromise on legislation. This nothing can be done without the member states
is similar to the process in the US, with the Coun- (they pay the bills).
cil being similar to the Senate. Each country votes
according to population size. For a law to pass Its president is elected for a 2.5 year period and
it needs a double majority representing: 55% of can be re-elected once. The current president is
the countries and 65% of the populations. This former Polish Prime Minister, Donald Tusk with
ensures that neither many small states nor a few Belgian prime minister Charles Michel set to take
large ones can trump the rest of them. And al- over on 1 November. The president shares the
though you can be forgiven from not hearing this role of representing the EU with the president
in your daily news bulletin, it ensures that most of the Commission in international settings. This
legislation is passed with all countries on board makes it really messy to figure out who is the lead-
as everyone has something to gain by being in er of the EU, not to mention the obviously con-
the process. What comes out of Brussels really is fusing names of the institutions. The EU might be
what we all agreed to in the end. expertly skilled at ensuring balance of power but
could definitely use an American branding agen-
cy when it comes to making up new job titles.
23
Committees Agencies
The Committee of the Regions (CoR) and the Eco- There are a number of EU agencies spread out
nomic and Social Committee (EESC) are two EU across the 28 Member States. The agencies per-
bodies charged with bringing together stakehold- form a range of monitoring, technical and scientif-
ers and representatives from society to feed in- ic tasks, thereby helping and supporting the Com-
put to the EU. Each consists of 350 members but mission in areas where a high degree of technical
share little political power between them. They do expertise is needed.
however give valuable input on what is needed on
the ground and can set the agenda for future leg- The most commonly known are Europol (the EU’s
islation. police cooperation organisation), Eurojust (the
body which ensures cooperation between judicial
The Committee of the Regions is comprised of lo- officials such as prosecutors and judges), the Euro-
cal and regional politicians from around the 28 EU pean Medicines Agency (which is leaving its Lon-
member states. They weigh in with opinions on don offices to move to Amsterdam this year) and
EU legislation since most EU law affects their local The European Food and Safety Authority (EFSA)
work and has to be implemented by local officials. located in Parma, because when it comes to food
Mayors of the world unite! safety we can only trust the Italians.
The Economic and Social Committee, similarly, is Feeling as paranoid about the prospects of global
made up of “social partners” meaning representa- extinction as Elon Musk or do you have an inner
tives of businesses and labour unions and other Captain Kirk in your belly? The European Space
social partners like NGOs in order to have their Agency (ESA) employs around 2200 people. Al-
voices heard in Brussels. The well-functioning of though technically not an EU agency, the EU does
the Single Market is paramount to the EU and all have a space policy and with 22 EU member States
Brussels bureaucrats fear being told they have ig- participating in the EAS, it is a rather technical dif-
nored the people. ference for anyone but the accountants. Who said
the EU was limited to the Single Market and tariff
collection? To infinity and beyond!
What happens in Justus Lipsius stays in Justus Lipsius
24
2. During Your Traineeship
Brussels Brief During Your Traineeship
2.1 Work time

First Day - First Impressions
Being the newbie in the office isn’t always so Some end up overloaded. Other times trainees
bad, especially when you know the environ- end up being lost in the office with little man-
ment you are coming into. Information, howev- agement devoted to making your time useful. If
er, might not be offered to you within the first you end up having no work assigned to you, a
day of walking in. So we recommend you find a good idea is to simply write your colleagues and
moment with a colleague you feel comfortable ask if you can help out with something. It nev-
with to ask about the “do’s and don’ts” of your er hurt anyone to show initiative and it will go
unit. Supervisors are made out of the same or- a long way in earning you that promotion you
ganic material you are, and they don’t bite. If were looking for.
they do, let us know your story after you’ve let
the police know. Dress Code
Get in tune from the first day and keep playing There is no official dress code in the EU Institu-
to that groove for the rest of your traineeship. tions. Yes, you will see a bit of everything, and
Think of yourself part fiddle player in a large are free to do almost all that you like, but being
Jazz band. Fiddler on the Berlaymont. the new kid on the block, it’s not a bad idea to
overdress a bit (you can always scale back) and
One last word of advice. Traineeships can be a take cues from your unit.
varied experience. Some click with their unit on
day one and have interesting work to do. Sure, it’s not fair but you’re also the last one on
the ladder so learn to make your way up with
This trainee just got a 5-year contract in the Commission. That’s a sweet gig.
26
respect and with fine etiquette. It’s the little Remember to give yourself a few extra minutes
things that can help you stand out (for better or to pass through security, much like a standard
for worse). airport check. Also be aware that when the big
28 are in town, Schuman is a “no-go” area so
One thing to keep in mind: will you be partici- be prepared to adjust your morning commute to
pating in meetings with people outside your in- make way for the motorcades.
stitution? In that case, remember that you are
also representing your unit and first impressions For those of you working around Schuman, you
go a long way (you might want to apply for a job will receive an email in advance explaining how
led by the people you encounter at meetings). to deal with the extra security precautions.
Security Procedures can vary from place to place with

the main buildings, like the Berlaymont (where
Recent years of terror attacks around Europe all the Commissioners are) being extra heavy on
and in Brussels has left its mark on everyone’s security. One annoying feature is the fact that
consciousnesses and on the face of many capi- you cannot necessarily go from a Commission
tals, now teeming with extra police and military. building to the Parliament or Council building.
This applies to Brussels in particular. When you Even senior staff have to go through security at
host the EU and regularly have 28 heads of gov- the other institutions. That is stupid and waste-
ernment come by for coffee meetings, security ful. But that’s how it is.
is tightened. In daily practice, you’ll manage.
Sorry champ.
LGBTI Life
Brussels is generally an open city towards sexual orientation and it is frequent to see same-sex
couples in public spaces.
The European institutions are also an inclusive workplace, however, some staff do not feel com-
fortable to talk openly about their sexual orientation. The Blue Book Trainees’ LGBTI+ associ-
ation (Queer Stagiaires) aims at raising awareness about queer culture and rights and gathers
trainees interested in these topics.
Egalité represents all LGBTI+ questions in the EU institutions and organises conferences and
events.
Outside the institutions there are other organisations with the same scope, Rainbowhouse be-
ing the best-known by EU trainees.
27
Etiquette
The world is beautiful because it is varied, but course). A few minutes won’t kill anyone, but
only up until a certain point. Your educational avoid being the last one to show up and the
and cultural background may differ from your first one to go.
neighbour’s, and that is not to say either one
of you are in the wrong. However, in the work- Social media etiquette is key in modern work
place there are a series of unspoken rules thatsettings. Suffice to say posting about your job
should be accounted for. can be fun, but an Instagram picture of your of-
fice is of no one’s interest, let alone of use to
These are considered appropriate etiquette for your office. When it comes to adding your col-
the context you may find yourself in. leagues on social media, play it by ear.
“Remember to give yourself a few extra

minutes to pass through security”
What do we mean? For instance, in writing or The usual good practice is to add them on Linke-
responding to an email from a colleague, always dIn. Twitter is the next best logical step and save
use formal and adequate language. Address the Facebook and Instagram for your BFFs.
person with respect and authority, kindly ask
them for clarifications, do not dismiss them or Humility
talk in abbreviated, slang terms (TTYL). There is
no need to demand a response, or abruptly re- There is no doubt you have managed to make
quest things such as a foot massage (stranger it through a selection of tens of thousands of
things have happened). candidates to secure a spot as a Bluebook or
Schuman trainee within the EU institutions.
Etiquette also refers to the way you behave in Still, there is much you have yet to learn and
the office. Perhaps it is not absolutely neces- there isn’t a boss, a unit, or a working environ-
sary to ask for your days off on the very first ment that cannot teach you something about
day of work. That can be done as you settle human nature, professional realisation, or your
into the new workplace, and get to observe the very own life.
behaviour and the work patterns of other col-
leagues, as well. Just because you have half a dozen degrees,
went to the College of Europe and your uncle is
Show up on time, and in the first, few weeks, Jose Barroso, doesn’t mean you can go around
notice how others go about the day. Of course treating people like they are inferior. Brussels is
you can ask for the precise working hours. In a small town and stink spreads quickly. Take it
doing so, you set yourself to those hours (in the all in like a sponge and remember, humility will
limits of human and/or transport error of likely get you a few extra friends too.
28
Ask Questions
You are new to your position, probably new to know exactly what someone is talking about
Brussels and so you will need to ask questions. when they are introducing themselves and what
And your new colleagues know this so don’t be they do.
shy. It is a much better strategy to ask a one
more question than making a preventable mis- The intranet is also a good source for internal
take. Besides, asking questions just demon- institutional news and a valuable tool to find out
strates that you are interested in your work, which unit to contact on that inter-group report
your colleagues and are taking your job serious- your unit has been struggling with for the last
ly. That’s a good way to start your career and 12 years. The intranet is also a treasure trove
will pay off. of opportunities to sign up for special training
sessions.
Second, traineeships vary a lot depending on the
DG, agency, and the individual unit you will be Use the opportunity to go and learn something
working in. Some have too much work for you, new and impress your head of unit with your
so speak up in case you’re drowning, and oth- newly updated knowledge of the most obscure
ers, well others forget to delegate enough work. budgetary procedures or the latest gossip from
If you find yourself in that situation remember the agency with which your DG is in a constant
this: it never hurts to ask an extra time if you turf war.
can help out with something, it only makes you
stand out even more. KYP - Know Your Peers
A stranger is a friend you don’t know yet, and
KYU - Know Your Unit a fellow trainee is a future colleague. No one is
better to help you out than your fellow trainees,
An organigram is not a musical instrument. Rath- because they know exactly what kinds of prob-
er it is the source of context in an organisation. lems you are facing and probably have some
good advice to share, albeit where the next bar
Every decent intranet should have a copy of the is.
organigram showing your unit and its relation to
the other units within your DG. The fun thing is It is easy to fall into the trap of hanging out only
that you can see who your boss’ boss is and with trainees from your own office, and unit.
29
There can be a great camaraderie with these business cards like they’re rare Pokemon. Busi-
people, but there is also a shared feeling of fra- ness cards are like seeds, they tend to sprout
ternity with trainees in other DGs. when you least expect them to. People don’t
know your name or your background unless
So make the most to reach out, join trainee you tell them, and a business card is a good
organised events such as those from the EC way to spur interest in you and make sure your
Trainee’s Committee and Schuman Trainees email doesn’t slip the mind.
Committee. Your time as a trainee will abso-
lutely fly by so do it right and make the most of The most effective way to get a job after your
it, just as you did during your Erasmus. traineeship is to be referred by someone.
That person could be the boss of your boss.
Networking It could also just as well be your fellow train-
ee, your supervisor or your landlord (no jokes,
Network network network is an age old cli- turns out eurocrats have some spare change to
che... that works. To most people a dreaded invest in property and such things).
thing, but no (wo)man is an island, especially
in Brussels where you’ll find yourself creepily Make yourself visible and be honest about your
sharing Facebook friends with everyone, let interests. Even though you might not get the
alone LinkedIn contacts. first dream job, there will be an opening some-
where soon and having shown your face and
That being said, don’t worry. You’ll network all talked about your background is the best way
the time even if you don’t know it. Networking to get ahead. That being said don’t be overly
is asking questions, showing up at conferences interested. It is wise to flatter people with pow-
and explaining who you are and your back- er but remember Machiavelli’s magnum opus
ground. Use your time as a trainee to gather ‘The Prince’ was advice to people already with
information and get to know people. Hand out some power, not trainees.
business cards like it’s free candy and collect
“Network network network is

an age old cliche... that works”
30
Harassment
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, the Me- If you need people to talk to, the MeTooEP
Too campaign has taken hold of Western con- people are doing a stellar job in providing a
sciousness as the long suffering of workplace pla orm for debates, support and making cur-
sexual harassment has been put in the centre rent and future MEPs sign a manifesto to pre-
of social and political conversation. vent creepy practices in the future. Nothing as
of yet in the Commission but feel free to work
If anyone starts to get handsy, invites you to on that.
one-on-one social occasions or makes inappro-
priate comments, don’t fret in talking about it Suffice to say any type of harassment is not
whether that is to your peers, other colleagues to be tolerated. Bullying is another workplace
or, if need be, human resources. The test for plague and can happen equally from superiors
identifying any of this, is your own level of com- as well as other trainees. Same as with sexual
fort. There is no objective standard for harass- harassment: discomfort + repetition is usual-
ment, other than that stipulated in law and in ly the way to go about assessing whether the
specific HR guidelines, so use the golden rule: nickname ‘Brexit Bobby’ is a witty assessment
if you feel uncomfortable and the behaviour is of your political inclinations or actually a xeno-
repetitive, it’s time to act. Time’s up! phobic trope against Brits called Robert.
“If you feel uncomfortable and the behaviour

is repetitive, it’s time to act. Time’s up!”
31
Stay Informed
Of course, a successful trainee is an informed trainee. We don’t have to spell out to you at this
point that this section is a shameless plug to sign up to Brussels Brief and follow us in all social
media channels, not necessarily to be better informed, but to be informed and entertained.
Infotainment if you like.
For when you’re not browsing through the Brief, we recommend both newsletters and podcasts
as the most efficient (and millennial) way to keep informed during your traineeship. Thankfully,
the past few years have seen an explosion of EU-related content in that regard.
“We recommend both newsletters and

podcasts as the most efficient way to keep
informed during your traineeship”
32
Newsletters Podcasts
Politico Brussels Playbook - this is the standard bear- EU Confidential: Politico’s flagship audio product and
er of daily newsletters. With over 60,000 subscribers self-described No. 1 EU podcast. Previously hosted by
(we’re working to climb to these heights) it is the di- honorary European Ryan Heath, it is now run by tri-
gest that begins the day. Released every day at 7am, umvirate Annabelle Dickson, Rym Momtaz and Mat-
the newsletter formerly run by Brussels giant Ryan thew Karnitschnig. The podcast discusses the week’s
Heath has been taken over by German Florian Eder news stories in EU and Europe in general. Each ep-
after Ryan got tired of waking up at ungodly hours isode features interviews with the high rollers such
just so Angela Merkel’s Chief of Staff could have as MEPs, Commissioner so and so and other leading
something to report to Mutti in the morning. Dense people from the EU bubble and beyond.
and packed with info, skim and skip to the end of the
newsletter if only to see whose birthday it is on that Remainiacs: The UK’s leading anti-Brexit podcast.
day (a strangely addictive element). ‘Jacques Delors Hosted by Dorian Lynskey with staple contributors like
turns 150 today’ is exactly what I want to know as Ian Dunt (and his infectious laughter) Alex Andreou
I’m waking myself up from my coma with my morning (and his sweet, sweet bass), Best for Britain Crusader
coffee. Naomi Smith, Brexit truther Ros Taylor and resident
Merkel Whisperer, Nina Schick. This is the podcast
Euractiv’s The Brief - the awkwardly titled newsletter for all British citizens who need to laugh at the Brex-
from Euractiv is an end of day wrap up of the news in it bonanza and keep sanity throughout the emerging
Brussels. Focusing on Euractiv’s more detail-oriented, decades as the UK finally becomes an independent
wonky style, it is a good dessert to the day if only to Singapore off the coast of France. As Churchill willed
see what to look out for in the next morning’s Play- it.
book.
Previously in Europe: Hosted by Irish duo Hugh and
Eurotopics - A little-known but very useful gem of a Kieran they discuss the big events of Europe with an
newsletter rounding up the press from multiple mem- emphasis on covering the stories which the English
ber states on the major thematic issues of the week. media overlooked during the week and make some
The neat thing about this one is that they take the sense of this strange phenomenon we call “Europe”.
trouble of translating excerpts from these different
media that would otherwise be inaccessible to you The Europeans Podcast: A relative newcomer on the
unless you happen to speak Bulgarian, French and bloc. This “moderately amusing” programme is host-
Lithuanian and read the press in all those countries. ed by British AFP journalist Katy Lee dialling in from
Good for you Glotzilla. Paris with partner in crime Dominic Kraemer usually
tapping in with his beautiful baritone from Amster-
Quartz Daily Brief - If you need to burst the bubble, dam. The pod talks about European culture and po-
check out firebrand internet media startup Quartz’s litical developments across our beloved continent in
Daily Brief for a morning roundup of what’s important general. It takes people beyond the narrow Brussels
around the world. It is an easy digest and will make bubble and looks at interesting stories you might not
you sound smarter around the water cooler by bring- have heard of while browsing through Le Monde over
ing up topics not usually visited by the Brussels policy breakfast.
nerd.
33
TV
Television and European affairs have long been a dull Nina Schick: Tweeter extraordinaire on all things
affair but new winds are on the horizon. Euronews Brexit and usually on a UK TV show to throw cold
have recently significantly upped their mojos from a water on Brexiteers screaming that Germany wants to
dire and dull newsreel of faceless news to a young, sell the UK cars which is why the EU has to surrender
sexy and intrepid programming centred around news unconditionally. The best choice if you need someone
anchors covering European politics. The flagship to bridge the gap between how things play out in the
show is Raw Politics, a daily round up of the news of UK and among the rest.
the day in a conversational format feuring journalists,
MEP and NGOs representatives shot in the majestic Donald Tusk: The more you get to know The Tusk the
(and hitherto underused) studios in the European Par- more you like him. Not only did he appear in a Polish
liament. A must watch if you want to recognise faces song contest programme in his youth, he also fought
in and among the Brussels Bubble. for Democracy during the Cold War and these days
speaks truth to wannabe autocrats in Europe when
Other options for TV include British ‘Sky News’ (avail- needed. Maybe the Americans mistook another Don-
able free on Youtube) to witness the Brexit gasoline ald for him?.... We also recommend his Instagram
dumpster fire burn in real time and fun times in the which is a treasure trove of sour Polish humour and
House of Commons. Ordeeeer. amazing poses.
Twitter Mehreen Khan: The Financial Times’ star reporter is

the one to follow if you want to know what the bud-
The EU Twittersphere - Yes, we know that everyone get implications for the Common Agricultural Policy
has a twitter account with 3.5 followers. But Twitter is will be over the next decade, if there’s some high lev-
a treasure trove for EU commentary and personalities el intrigue between the French and German finance
to go full monty. It shows off the incredible range of ministers brewing or want to get the latest health up-
humor and nerdiness readily available for the hungry date on the Euro.
EU consumers. And importantly, it is an indispensable
place for journalists to get and deliver information Kereto Gormsen: Our managing editor throws out a
(thank you Laura Kayali you copyright Dauphin). Here few well-placed barbs on occasion. Even former Finn-
is an assorted list of some of our favorite Tweet Ex- ish Prime Minister Alexander Stubb appreciates his
traordinaires: analysis of the Belgian weather. Help him break 200
twitter followers before the UK leaves the EU.
Jon Worth: We have a special place in our hearts for
Jon Worth. He is possibly the person who singlehand- Berlaymonster: Without the Beast from the Berlay
edly kept EU-Twitter alive for years. He constantly there would be no reason to stay in Brussels. By far
tweets as if there is no tomorrow about EU politics the best satirical take downs of all things EU related.
and recently, Brexit, and somehow also makes time So much so that our furry friend was named the No.
to write posts on his blog where he brilliantly dissects 2 EU influencer in 2018.
EU and UK politicians. If you’re new to twitter give JW
a go first.
34
Ahead of our friend Jon Worth and French baladeur so as of August 2019 he will be based in the US but
and Commission slayer Jean Quatremer from Libera- there is no doubt the might of his tweet will be felt
tion (worth following if you dabble in French). from across the waters.
DG Meme: Newcomer on the satirical EU carrousel Femi Oluwole: Feeling down about Brexit? Breathe!
but quickly becoming an indispensable daily source of Femi is here to help. This millennial twitter machine
catharsis in an absurd world. Trainees and Europeans has single-handedly become one of the most influ-
exiled to Brussels have a special place in the heart of ential spokespersons for the anti-Brexit youth in the
this beloved government institution. UK. All done through sheer will power and optimism.
Ryan Heath: Not only leading Politico Europe but His video on how Brussels works has well over a mil-
named the top EU influencer the last two years. Of- lion views and has easily explained the EU better than
ten saying what everybody is thinking Ryan Heath 40 years of BBC coverage.
has managed to inject some much needed discussion
into EU politics. And he has managed to keep Berlay- And of course we would be remiss if we didn’t recom-
monster in a sulky second place. Sadly, he’s become a mend our very own Brussels Brief. Account. Come
point of attraction for the other side of the pond too, here for the irreverence, stay for the tribe.
Ryan Heath has left town, but if you listen closely you can still hear the sound of his tweets
35
2.3 Down time
Lunch tips
Much like the Common Agricultural Policy, the EU’s

canteens are subsidised. No butter mountains or
wine lakes in the institutions though. If you decide
to go for lunch in your DG’s canteen it’s usually a
good idea to go before 12:30 when the internal
clock of all EU officials cries out for sustenance. It is
worth asking if your canteen does trainee discounts
(this varies across canteens) and if so, always show
your badge. Canteen workers have no mercy when
it comes to charging you full price, it’s your job to
remind them.
Most Trainees will work in the European Quarter

fairly close to each other. So where to go for that
networking lunch you’ve finally managed to set
up? At Brussels Brief we like bagels and Art’s and
The hungry trainees’ favourite canteen
Bagels in Schuman or Karsmakers close to Place
Luxembourg are known for some mean bagels (did
The type of place that is a good compromise on
someone say bagels?!)
location (situated between the European Parliament
and the Berlaymont), The Office is a large scale can-
Alternatively, as a last resort, there’s always an Exki
teen style hipster eatery in the European quarter.
close by or try Pulp or Paul if you want an extremely
The specialties are bagels and baked potatoes.
standard sandwich.
With 2 locations in Porte de Namur and Place de
If you want to pay homage to the beloved Central
Londres respectively, Jean Bon is the place to go to
European staple of Schnitzel, try Maxburg for a
for the best sandwiches in town. Freshly-made with
pricey yet worthwhile piece of breaded meat heav-
the tastiest cheeses and cold cuts and rather large
en. They had a bit of an incident recently when the
baguettes, this place will have you full for the rest of
restaurant caught on fire so your patronage will go a
the day and craving for more from the next.
long way to keep this fried meat Brussels institution
alive.
Pro tip: If you want to bump into some Commis-
BeBurger at Place Luxembourg is one of infinite
sioners, buy pricey meat and get eavesdropped on
places you can procure gourmet burgers. Don’t go
by foreign spies, then be sure to check out
any day other than ‘Crazy Monday’ where you have
Meet Meat next to the Berlaymont. Probably way
all you can eat burgers for the price of one. Also, try
out of your Trainee budget but good to know when
the fries with truffle sauce. You won’t regret it.
your boss takes you out for lunch.
36
Brunch
While a good city has brunch, great cities have Brussels’ greatest antique furniture shops and
great brunch and Brussels is no exception. Fol- art galleries, both of which are unlikely to align
lowing the nights when Brussels has taken your with a trainee’s budget but one can dream.
soul over for too many GnTs, consider these
places the body and mind revivals that will still If your head is spinning faster than you can think,
have you able to enjoy a decent weekend. Peck 20 is an easy choice with classic brunch
dishes like eggs florentine and pancakes, plus a
La Fabrique en Ville is a cosy and stylish place few originals like chicken waffles and revisited
with two locations: one situated in the middle of breakfast wraps.
Parc d’Egmont, a green oasis situated in down-
town Brussels and the other is in Châtelain. It’s Feeling like something cosy in a neighbourhood
best when the sun is shining - yes, we promise that you can then take a walk in to digest it all
it does occasionally here - as you can sit outside away? Then give Hinterland a go! An urban es-
and indulge on a Pimm’s while watching dogs cape with all the lunch classics from pancakes
and their owners partake in a lively game of to açai bowls and of course,egg overloads. Es-
fetch. You can treat yourself to a EUR 29 unlim- sentially all that you need upon to wake happy
ited brunch, making rounds and rounds of fresh (albeit hungover) in one single place.
quinoa salads, scrambled eggs and an ample
choice of bread and pastries. If a hangover has Grand Central hosts a not-so conventional
taken the best of you, refer to the À La Carte brunch made up of fresh quinoa salads, pastries,
menu that will provide you with some brunch bread and scrambled eggs that’ll give you the
classics, i.e looking at you, eggs benedict. sense you’ve made it to an early lunch in one
piece. It’s a large place so you won’t ever have
If you are keen on a more refined type of awak- to limit the invites. It also has an à la carte menu
ening, head over to Créme smack in the middle incase you’re in the mood for a more classic
of Sablon. Inspired by Australian breakfast fa- brunch. And should you be in the mood for an
vourites, you will have your fair share of avo- alternative thursday night, Grand Central even
toast variants, egg dishes and pancakes. Given transforms into a top-notch apéro spot.
its location, Crème is a walk away from some of
So many different cultures coming together in a French speaking bar, like Schuman would have wanted
37
Coffee
You’re going to want to resort to a professional Fika is an incredibly minimalist (see Swedish)
barista to restore your faith in coffee after the cafe tucked away in the area of Saint Boniface
instant coffee or Nespresso you’ll be drinking which is tiny in the winter and has a relatively
all week in the office. Brussels, much like every large coffee garden for warmer temperatures.
other city in the world, has been invaded by the
hipsters and their creepily uniform ‘Brooklyn’ If you prefer tea, the ballin’ tea room Comptoir
style cafes. Florian will give you the chance to explore the
eclectic world of tea and get your sencha on.
Cafe Velvet in Saint Catherine is a small hipster
cafe which is so hip and authentic that it has an- PWDs - Post Work Drinks
other location in Medellin Colombia. No Pablo
Escobar jokes here, just good reliable, energis- Place Luxembourg on Thursday. ‘Plux’ is the
ing powerful powdered coffee. new centre of your life and you’ll learn to hate it
and live to love it. It is the centre for young Eu-
Or Coffee in Jourdan is the best bet for good robrats such as yourselves to go socialize after
coffee within a one mile radius of the Berlay- work and it is where you will try desperately to
mont. They roast their own coffee and have lo- get news about a contract agent position in the
cations in Brussels city centre and Ghent if you DG of your dreams.
feel like going on a long caffeine run.
From time to time the place is crawling with real
Italian Caffè Vergnano in Square Schuman is a Eurocrats so don’t miss the opportunity to pick
glimpse of Italy and its culture coffee, even in them apart and ruin their evening by asking for
the greyest darkest working hours. career advice. With Silvio Berlusconi having ar-
rived in Brussels shortly after the European Par-
Mix coffee, large spaces, art and retail and you liament election in May, we expect Plux to be
have a description of L’ Atelier En Ville. With even more crowded and rowdy. What a won-
three locations, L’atelier is a great place to hang derful world...
out on Saturday and enjoy the warehouse sur-
roundings and creative vibes.
38
Remember that happy hour is from 6-7pm only every day from 1 pm to 7 pm. Its location is in
where most beers are 2 euros which become 4 a rather London-esque neighbourhood of Brus-
just when you are getting happy enough to not sels and a place to see and be seen.
care about the price. If you do care about the
price (and you will), the Delhaize in Place Lux
is open until 8 pm and there is a nightshop just Pro tip: Stay at home all week and go out in
around the corner (opposite Luxembourg train the weekends like an adult. Chasseurs Arden-
station) which is notoriously popular servicing nais in Schaerbeek is only ten minutes from the
thirsty drunk trainees with €1.50 Jupiler and Commission and could be considered the Bel-
questionably delicious samosas until late. These gian Plux on Fridays. Much like Chatelain, it is
of course are to be consumed in the grass area an outdoor market the star feature of which is
and under no circumstance to be smuggled into an Alsatian bar serving cremant wine and Stras-
the bars...under no circumstance...never ever. bourg beer and pretzels.
Ever.
Nightlife
Chatelain on Wednesday. Wednesday (or
hump day) is one of those days which is hard You didn’t just come to save the world by day
to form an opinion on. You’re half way through - no, you’re also here to shake some serious
the working week, but you’re also only half way bureaucratic booty by night. Brussels has a de-
through the working week. Luckily, Brussels has cent and varied nightlife spread, something for
given Wednesdays a spin that perhaps can give every type, taste and budget. We recommend
you a boost as much as it has done for us in the the places where we hang out and that way it’s
past. The Chatelain farmer’s market takes place more likely you can buy us a drink.
39
Maison du Peuple for a drink, or two, or five. It’s Cafe Belga is the holy grail in a Brussels trainee’s
a great spot, decorated with exposed brick and it rite of passage. Equally, A great place to spend
gets crowded on Saturday nights with some of the sunny afternoons on the terrace looking at the
best company. Not only that, it’s also located in one Etangs d’Ixelles as well as a place where you’ll find
of Brussels’ trendiest and most upcoming neigh- yourself at 3am sloppy drunk with your tongue
borhoods, St Gilles. down a stranger’s throat as Katy Perry blasts from
the speakers.
Also known as ‘Traveller’s Cafe’, Via Via is a massive
space in the heart of Saint Catherine that has am- Fuse. Work life got you feeling dull? Need a tech-
ple indoor and outside seating and cheap beer to no release? Fuse will make sure to fix that. Among
boot. Part of a network of bars and hostels around Brussels biggest clubs, Fuse is an alternative way to
the world (locations in Africa, South America and spend your weekend out (because realistically you
Asia), it is where the cool kids hang with the occa- won’t make it home before 4am and then there
sional live gig and event livening an already busy goes your two-day rest period).
environment.
Kumiko. Much like Brooklyn cafes, Japanese ‘Iza- Pro tip: Centro Cabraliego This Spanish piece of
kayas’ are all the rage in Western capitals fusing the heaven is not an actual bar but more of an expat
concepts of a bar, restaurant and club all into one. association. Run by a crew of seniors citizens, they
In Kumiko, have a donburi bowl, drink some sake serve fantastically cheap beer and delicious cider.
and dance the night away with a live DJ all in the But the main attraction are the tapas which easily
same spot without a Japanese person in sight. come in as our favourite food in town.
Brewdog. Part of the global Brewdog brand of craft Please note, this a real Spanish place. You can only
beer, the one in Brussels is set right in the heart of pay in cash, the bill won’t be spelled out to you be-
Brussels next to Gare Central with tasty (non-Bel- fore the end and ordering is only possible between
gian) beer and even tastier burgers. Check out all 19:30-21:00, so be on time and bring some friends
you can eat Chicken wings on Wednesday eve- for a chaotic but amazing night. Camarero!
nings for the win.
40
LGBTI Nightlife
Brussels nightlife also has plenty of gay-friend- Rainbow Nation and Merhaba work in the inter-
ly venues and parties. The area surrounding Rue section between ethnicity, religion and LGBTI cul-
Marche au Charbon with Chez Maman (Rue des ture.
Grands Carmes) is a classic between queer train-
ees. Place Luxembourg on Thursdays is also a very open
and gay-friendly place. And of course, the annual
Other parties are organized on a non-weekly basis Pride happens every year in Brussels around May
(Los Ninos and Vicuna, Gay Haze or La Demence). and gathers most of the city for a parade through
the “village” in Mont des Arts. DJ-sets included, and
Mothers and Daugthers organise pop-up bars for plenty of after parties.
lesbians while Mon Cul Ta Praline parties take place
irregularly and focus mainly on the female public.
41
Weekends
Culture is food for the soul. Luckily Brussels offers a full banquet.
Museums
House of European History - A new museum Pompidou Kanal- As part of the legendary Paris
dedicated to “enhance understanding of Euro- museum of modern art venture into the world,
pean history in all its complexity, to encourage this old warehouse turned museum offers an
the exchange of ideas and to question assump- eclectic mix of exhibitions, live events and even
tions”. Visitors traverse five floors each explor- a street food market. A trendy option in a loca-
ing the many factors that have shaped European tion that is host to a beach festival closer to the
identity. From the birth of the Myth of Europa summer months.
and European Heritage over Industrialisation,
Imperialism and war, to modern-day consumer- Magritte Museum - Magritte, the pride and joy
ism and the era after the Cold War. of the Belgians and man who is famous for say-
ing that a pipe is not a pipe, has his very own
Remember to bring an ID card with you in or- spot. Located right next to one of Brussels’ most
der to use the visitor tablets which guides you iconic views, you will find the hours spent inside
through the visit and displays text, sound and fly by. Organised so you, the viewer, can experi-
video on all the installations, in all 24 official EU ence his life through his art pieces, the museum
languages. A good place to ponder European has some of his most original work.
identity and history. Free entry all day every day.
42
Africa Museum: Formerly holder of the dubious

honor as Europe’s “most racist museum” (quite a feat
considering what Europeans have dabbled in), the
museum reopened in December 2018 after years of
undergoing reconstruction. The museum now takes
a more serious look at the Belgian heritage in Congo
and Central Africa and wishes to be a world leading
institution in research and knowledge dissemination.
With a new exhibition in place the museum promises
to take a sober look at Belgium’s past and hopefully
can fulfil part of its role of healing wounds and bring
discussion and enlightenment to the public.
Parks
Parc Cinquantenaire - If you’re keen on going for a

run while staying in the midst of the (political) action
this is the place for you. Right by the EU headquar-
ters, Parc Cinquantenaire is a fine reflection of the
city’s best. Characterised by the monumental arc that
brings inspiration just by looking at it, this park is a
great place to take a lunch break, too. It also holds a
reasonable track field and a mosque. Common sights
include people practicing Tai Chi, Acro Yoga and
passed out revelers from Friday night. riety of options for family Sunday picnics, runners
showing off their latest techniques, as well as young-
Parc Royal - Class and melancholy characterise this sters giving the old frisbee a go or just having a re-
park that faces what was once the Royal Palace, now laxed day under the sun with a chilled glass of rosé
only used for official state visits and tourist ones, too. before the week resets.
Parc Royal is a centrally-located green space to walk
through as you head towards downtown. It is often If you live downtown, Parc d’Egmont is a tiny jewel
home to food and music festivals, which are always squeezed in between old style baroque Bruxelllois
an excuse to toast to remaining a monarchist in the architecture and modern tumult. The garden hosts a
21st century. nice cafe too in case you feel too bothered to move
for an iced coffee or something hotter.
Parc Leopold - a favorite of ours. With large weeping
willows, green hills and a pond, this is a great place Bois de la Cambre - a runner’s favorite. This much
to lie in and spend hungover Sundays at. It’s also larger park is a great getaway location for those who
home to a basketball court but more importantly, want to stay in Brussels but escape the urban setting.
the House of European History (see above). The park It’s great for walks, picnics, occasional music festivals
is also strategically located between Place Jourdan and marathon runners.
(where the fries are made) and the European Parlia-
ment (where the sausages are made). Concerts / Live Music
For residents of Saint-Josse and Schaerbeek, Park Bozar: The centre par excellence for the audiovisual
Josaphat is a marvelous getaway which offers a va- arts, Bozar hosts an array of festivals that will blow
43
your mind, from the Afropolitan festival to Flamenco about but didn’t know had a place. Its beers are sold
Festival and the ever popular Balkan festival. They all over town and have a distinctive modern twist
also host bands and cultural events throughout the on traditional Belgian beer. Its brewery is in the hip
year so a membership might be a good idea if you Dansaert area and although small, is a must visit for
are an avid culturiste and want some discounts to lovers of beer not necessarily made by Abbots.
the events.
Brasserie de La Senne beers, equally served in a lot
Forest National is the Madison Square Garden of of bars around Brussels. However, its brewery is less
Brussels concerts. With a capacity of 8,400 this are- well known being located slightly outside the centre
na is host to some of the world’s biggest acts, that is in Molenbeek. In any event, it provides a more tradi-
if you consider Maitre Gims to be at the same lev- tional brewery setting and its beers on tap are easily
el as Beyonce. Located a bit further away from the some of the best out there.
city centre, it’s programme of concerts at times pales
in comparison to rival Antwerp Sportpaleis which is
sometimes preferred by divas.
Ancienne Belgique hosts some of the top acts from

around the world that are just as talented but not
as popular as those that play at Forest National. The
good thing is that ticket prices are generally afford-
able and it is bang in the centre of town.
Sounds Jazz Club: a small intimate jazz club which

also offers an Italian menu for the hungry with the
kitchen serving from 8pm. Located in Ixelles, it is a
great choice for the Eurobrat who wants to inject a
dose of culture but hates moving through town on
a rainy evening. Concerts are available Monday-Sat-
urday. Entrance fees are €7-10 (bring a student card
for a discount if you got one).
Pro-tip: try Arsene 50: this site offers tickets at half

price for same day events on all cultural activities to
the benefit of the cultural trainee snob who needs a
weekly fix of ballet and opera or Korean cinema ex-
perience at proletarian prices.
Breweries
Belgium is famous for its beer and should you want

to try a beer a day for a few years you are likely not to
taste all of them. However, Brussels itself has its own
array of breweries which are unique to the city and
will leave a mark on your experience here.
Brussels Beer Project is the place you always heard So much culture to explore. Yum!
44
Beerstorming. If you want a true squad bonding ex- photo is laced with a gruelling climb (unless you want
perience or want to make the most of the unit away to pay 9 euros for a two minute ride). It is also the
day, Beerstorming is a tiny Brewery in St Gilles which birthplace of the inventor of the Saxophone whose
allows you to do a beer tasting session or indeed a name was...wait for it...Adolphe Sax.
more comprehensive (and costly) session where you
and your friends can brew your own beer together Namur is the place where you don’t go, but end up
and come back a few weeks later to pick some up for for some reason. A place famous for its lack of at-
the next house party. tractions, there are some cool bars and restaurants
to drink away the fact that you are in Namur.
Explore Belgium
Liege is the jewel of Wallonia known mostly for its
Best of Flanders - A trip to Flanders will feel like a waffles and its football team. If you don’t like waffles
trip to a different country. Clean streets, cycle lanes or football, a visit to Liege will be surplus to require-
and no French is spoken. In fact, if you want to an- ments.
noy a Flamand speak to them in French and watch
them explode.
Ghent is an easy win for where to take your parents

when they come to visit. A cool 30 mins by train you
get the best of Flanders in a small and manageable
city
Antwerp is a bit further afield and futuristic, a visit

to Antwerp might make you not to want come back
to Brussels in its trifecta of beauty, efficiency and at-
tractions. Also, for burger lovers there is a Five Guys
there, which makes the 45-minute train ride worth
it.
Brugge is the place where you have to go whether

you like it or not. Its canals make it the ‘Venice of the
North’. Made infamous by the mediocre movie, In
Bruges, you are bound to bump into an insufferable
College of Europe alumnus waxing lyrical on how
they used to live there.
Best of Wallonia - Wallonia, the French part of Bel-

gium, is similar to France in many ways and very
Belgian in others. It is also where the landscape be-
comes uneven in Belgium, much like the political sit-
uation in the country.
Dinant is the type of place where Insta-worthy pho-

tos of the view from the top of the rock will win you
likes galore and make people back home think you
live in a wonderland. In reality the work to get that
45
r o r r p
Brussels Brief After Your Traineeship
3.1 Staying in the EU Institutions

“I arrived in Brussels almost 26 years ago to do a 5-month internship. I’ve been trying to
leave ever since. Unsuccessfully.” - Gareth Harding
The best aspect of pursuing a traineeship with- your prospective career in the EU and, to many, it
in the European Institutions is that it gives you a is the first step towards climbing the Babel tower
taste of the sweet Brussels gâteau. Once you’ve that is the Berlaymont.
tried it you want even more of it but for some rea-
son, you just can’t seem to figure out how to get In order to get started, pay a visit to Randstad, an
to that precise bakery again. If you are at the end agency which services as a middleman between
of your traineeship and your experience has prov- you and the EU Institutions, particularly the
en to not be awful, maybe even mildly motivating Commission. Go in to see them or write them an
“While passing the EPSO concours is the only defin-

itive, long-term strategy to stay employed in the EU
institutions, there are other ways to get one foot in
the door”
or inspiring enough to want to continue working email informing them of your background (brief-
for the EU then it turns out that you can. While ly, no need to let them know what you had for
attempting (and passing) the EPSO concours dinner), your latest employment and your interest
is the only definitive, long-term strategy to stay to work for the EU. You must be determined and
employed in the EU institutions, there are other persevere, despite what may seem like an initial
ways to get one foot in the door - at least further disregard from their part. They will invite you in
in than a traineeship can get you. for an EPSO-styled computer-based exam (see
more below on EPSO). Should you pass this, you
Interimaire - ‘The Glorified Trainee’ will be placed on a list that they will send to the
Institutions on a monthly basis. Depending on the
The most common way to stay on after your need or available vacancies of a unit, you could be
traineeship. Interimaires are the most basic form contacted.
of employment in the Commission most trainees
obtain, if they continue working in their unit after As with any ‘temp agency’, many of the bene-
their traineeship. An interimaire (or interim con- fits that you would be receiving as a regular em-
sultant) is a short term contract and certainly not ployee of the EU Institutions are not in the cards
a luxury position. They normally don’t last longer (healthcare, tax-exclusion, etc). Nevertheless, you
than 6 months and can bring little security, as in- can make it off pretty well with weekly contracts
terimaires are contracted on a weekly basis. How- (hence, weekly paychecks) and a chance to explore
ever, it does provide a much needed foothold for the life of an EU official without all the elements
47
that makes the job actually attractive. Think of it work permanently in the EU institutions must pass
like non-alcoholic beer or decaf coffee. the European Personnel Selection Office test (or
EPSO in the common tongue).
Contract Agent / CAST - ‘The Mercenaries’
EPSO is to some a part time job, a second partner,
Tired of the weekly contracts as an interimaire a first child and all of the above. The main thing
and ready to go one step further? You sound like you need to know is that the odds are stacked
a contract agent. This position allows you to work against you.
within the EU Institutions for a total of 6 years
maximum and is quite possibly the sweetest gig Firstly, if studying the notorious tests including
out there. Under this title, you are a full-fledged numerical, verbal reasoning, abstract exercises
employee of the EU, which means you receive all doesn’t break your spirit then passing them will be
the benefits (and all the responsibilities) you could like finding the lost ark. If you do manage then
expect from an EU official. the next step is an interview round at the EPSO
assessment center where they separate the wheat
To do so you must place your personal and back- from the chaff amid interviews and competitive
ground information (name, passed academic and
professional experience, etc.) onto the EU CV on-
line database. From here, interested units can find
“EPSO is to some a part
you using keywords. Should they find your profile
potentially suitable for their vacancy, you will be
time job, a second part-
called and asked to take an EPSO-styled comput-
er-based exam, with an added competency-based
ner, a first child and all of
section.
the above”
If you pass this exam, you will be called in for an
interview(s) until the perfect match is made. At arm slinging worthy of some of the toughest in the
that point, once a unit has chosen to hire you, the private sector.
paperwork procedure takes approximately 1-3
months. You are then employed and initially on For each type of applicant profile there are some
probation for the first 9 months and, should your common and different elements depending on
employer be as satisfied with you as you are with your background. The entire selection process
them, your contract is potentially extended to 2 takes between 5 and 9 months from the date the
years after the first year and for 3 years after that competition notice is published.
first renovation (consider this a type of *terms and
conditions apply* offer as this extension depends If you pass EPSO, you are put on the internal re-
on financial availability and necessity of the unit). serve list where the different units draw new of-
Jumping through hoops never had such great con- ficials from when they need to fill new positions.
sequences. Therefore, it is important to note that you do not
apply for a single specific job but a general profile.
EPSO - ‘Fool’s Gold’ You may later on transfer to a different unit and
make your career within the EU institutions.
You think studying for your degree was hard? Now
comes the real challenge. All people who wish to
48
This can also mean moving from Commission to Commission seems to have realised that asking
the Parliament or to the Council. The entry level people to enter into a year-long process with no
position for general administrators is the AD5 lev- guaranteed results is a bad idea. In fact, it has be-
el which goes all the way up to AD16 for heads of gun to launch new programmes in an effort to
DGs. retain talent. And luckily, trainees are one of the
target groups.
There is some good news and bad news out there: The Commission’s new talent retention pro-
if you are Danish, Swedish or one of the other na- gramme, the Junior Professionals Programme
tionalities which are currently underrepresented (JPP), has two annual sessions where Blue Book
in the EU institutions (sorry Brits, this one is clos- trainees, CAST staff (function group IV), tempo-
ing rapidly) you just need to pass EPSO and you rary agents and officials can apply.
are basically guaranteed a job.
After a pre-selection interview in your DG, you will
However, that means it is hard for Italians and have do a computer based test followed by a final
Spanish people to get in as they are continuous- interview by a Commission-wide selection panel.
ly over-represented in EU institutions compared The entire JPP programme lasts two years during
to population size (maybe you took notice of that which you are employed as a temporary agent.
during your traineeship?). That being said there You will be placed in two different DGs during the
are no formal quotas, only an attempt to have a first year (2 x 6 months) in order to get experience
balanced composition of EU public officials. from different parts of the Commission. During
the second year, candidates are placed back in
There are plenty of help out there to make sure their home DG.
you don’t have to face the Everest that is studying
for EPSO alone. One recommendable treasure to In parallel, you will undergo a training programme
get your hands on is the Ultimate EU Test Book of about three days per month which will teach
“Even the Commission seems to have realised that

asking people to enter into a year-long process with
no guaranteed results is a bad idea”
which goes through all the basic tests you will have you competencies needed by the Commission. At
to do. It provides plenty of tests and explanations the end of the programme, you will have access to
of how and why the correct answer is correct - an internal EPSO competition to become an offi-
especially when you disagree or couldn’t possibly cial. You go girl!
see through the logical train of thought.
Applicants who pass a competition are placed on
Internal Graduates - ‘The Insider’s Cheat a reserve list from which the institutions draw re-
Code’ cruits as and when they need them. The aim of a
competition, then, is not to fill a specific post, but
If you managed to read through all that congrat- to constitute a reserve pool for recruitment needs
ulations. EPSO really isn’t for beginners. Even the as they arise.
49
The format of these competitions varies depend- and which languages or nationalities are required
ing on the profile being sought. Each competition also depend on the MEP, not to mention the size
is announced by what is commonly referred to as of team he or she is hiring.
a competition notice, giving full details of the pro-
file, the eligibility criteria and the selection proce-
Some MEPs keep a small team of 4 or 5 people
dure. while others literally have dozens of unpaid train-
ees on retainer and stuff as much money in their
Generally, it takes 5-9 months to complete the se- own pockets as possible. Democracy can be ugly
lection procedure, starting from the date of publi- at times we must admit. Thus, you need to fig-
cation of the competition notice. Reserve lists for ure out how the conditions are in the office of the
generalist competitions are usually valid for 1 year. MEP you want to work for. A good way to do that
For other profiles, the length may vary. The validity is asking around or simply writing one of the exist-
of reserve lists can be extended. ing assistants.
MEP Assistants - ‘The Unloved Spouse’ Most MEPs want and need people from their own
country (or at least people who are fluent in their
MEP Assistants also known as ‘Accredited Parlia- language) but there are hundreds of opportunities,
mentary Assistants’ or ‘Policy Advisors’ as they call to take a look around. One thing you’ll have to
themselves on LinkedIn. These are the hottest, keep in mind: this is a political office, so there will
most overqualified people in town. The power be- inevitably be things you work on you do not agree
hind the person, the brains to the brawn, the peo- with. That’s how it is. But most MEPs are swayed
ple who help MEPs from wetting their pants and, by good arguments and if you put in the effort you
when they do, pick up some dry cleaning. can have a direct impact on the legislation you are
working on.
Being an MEP assistant is a deeply personal ven-
ture. You work directly for your MEP and therefore Something to remember that although you work
there are 751 different bosses and over 2000 MEP for an MEP you are technically an employee of the
assistants with varying job experiences. Some are European Parliament so that comes with a lot of
glorified coffee makers. Some literally write EU perks in itself but the downside is that you can’t
legislation and sit in on crucial negotiations. We go campaign on behalf of your MEP in your home-
have known both but most do anything in be- town. At least during working hours.
tween those two extremes. Work hours, wages
“These are the hottest, most overqualified people

in town. The power behind the person, the brains
to the brawn, the people who help MEPs from wet-
ting their pants and, when they do, pick up some
dry cleaning”
50
The EEAS JPD Programme - ‘Your Friendly

Neighbourhood Spies’
The European External Actions Service (EEAS) In addition to this, it also provides the SNEs with
is the nascent diplomatic service of the EU. En- practical experience of working in the EU and a
visioned in the Lisbon Treaty, which entered into better understanding of the way EU decision-mak-
force in December 2009, the EEAS was formally ing takes place. Increasingly, the use of SNEs has
established 1 January 2011. Being less than a de-
cade old it is still a part of the EU which is under-
going rapid change. “It is a smart step for
The EEAS staff headquarters is located in the those who are interested
Schuman roundabout while holding 140 repre-
sentations around the world. For aspiring young in moving their careers
diplomats the EEAS has set up a Junior Profes-
sional in Delegations (JPD) programme which of- from the national to the
fers young qualified professionals the chance to
work for the EU worldwide and gain first-hand ex- EU-level but want a taste
perience working with in diplomacy. The trainee-
ships last for 12 months with a possible extension of the EU life before fully
of an additional 12 months.
committing”
Calls are open every 24 months and positions are
highly competitive. You must be a national of an
EU member state and the application should be been a way for Member States to ensure deci-
addressed to your national ministry of foreign af- sion-making includes their national voices. It has
fairs. also given an opportunity for curious officials to
work within the EU beast without having to com-
Seconded National Experts - ‘Spies without mit fully to both living abroad permanently and
the Thrill’ giving one’s soul to passing EPSO.
An increasingly common feature of the Commis- On the other hand, it is a smart step for those who
sion machinery is the deployment of Seconded are interested in moving their careers from the na-
National Expert (SNEs) who are posted by their tional to the EU-level but want a taste of the EU
national governments in the EU institutions for a life before fully committing. A secondment lasts
temporary period of time. This achieves several between 6 months and 4 years. However, you can
goals: staffing the EU with people with the right only return for a second period of secondment af-
technical skills, cultural insight and understanding ter 6 years has passed in between. Contact your
of the political positions of their home govern- Permanent Representation or relevant national
ments. ministry for more information on available SNE
positions.
51
Job Platforms
You’ve had this great work experience for 6 They publish vacancies currently offered by a va-
months or maybe, if you’ve been lucky, even lon- riety of firms, agencies, consultancies, NGOs and
ger and now you’re thinking you don’t actually others seeking employees. Check these websites
want to leave this rainy but terribly addictive city. out just to see the ridiculous array of job listings
There are a variety of ways in which the EU net- and the insane job conditions required: 3 year ex-
work in Brussels makes it possible for you to stay, periences in managing projects for a internship?
or at least try to. You got it.
To start off, it is important to regularly check web- Don’t despair if it seems you are relentlessly ap-
sites like: plying to postings with little to no feedback. Give
• EuroBrussels it enough time (and a couple of hundred emails
later) you will receive some response, possibly
• Euractiv Jobs
even a chance for an interview.
• Politjobs
• Global Jobs.
52
3.2 Staying in the Eurobubble
Private Sector & NGOs
Public sector isn’t for you? Did you come to Brus- energy transition to new transport fuel efficiency
sels with the dream of becoming a hotshot lobby- targets for the road haulage sector.
ist earning 6 figures a year and working 12 hours
a day? Then your most logical next step is to head Among the notable consultancies are:
towards the over 30,000 ‘lobbies’ or ‘interest rep-
resentations’ that are present in Brussels. Hill+Knowlton Strategies: The ultimate mercenar-
ies of the Brussels lobby landscape. You come to
These are mostly made up of big international H+K to get experience and learn the trade. Most
consultancies, industry associations, NGOs, Think of their staff is young and staff turnover is noto-
Tanks and individual companies’ lobbies. There are riously high meaning that this might not be the
ample opportunities to kick off. place you will stay forever but it can be a good
stepping stone in your career and the place that
Consultancies teaches you the hard realities of Brussels lobby-
ism.
Consultancies provide a wide range of options for
the eager young professionals who want to get Burson Cohn & Wolfe (formerly Burson-Marsteller):
their hands on new and challenging tasks. Often BCW have changed their name recently but not
they are catch-all offices and you can easily end much else has changed. One of the world’s lead-
up following files as divergent as digital economy, ing Public Relations and Communications firm
53
with over 4000 people spread Across all the con- Industry Associations
tinents save Antarctica (who knows for how long).
BCW works in most areas and with most clients With over 2000 registered business and trade as-
and with a dozen of open positions at anytime. sociations and 1300 associations with a perma-
Apply now before your neighbour. nent presence in Brussels, there is hardly any in-
terest group with respect for itself which doesn’t
Deloitte: Equal parts accountancy and public rela- have an office or umbrella organisation in Brussels.
tions company, Deloitte is one of the true global
behemoths in the consultancy world and is known From the fearsome farmers’ union COPA-COGECA
for its dedicated work force and strong Esprit de which can tumble the mightiest of empires, to the
Corps inculcated through plenty of afterwork ac- unseemly Envelope Producers Association.
tivities and amenities.
Everything is available here. So regardless wheth-
In Brussels, Deloitte’s headquarters are located er you’re focused on renewable biofuels, want to
outside the city by Zaventem airport (practical for represent disabled people or have an interest in
when consultants have to go on business trips) your national finance system in the wider Europe-
and they will likely give you a car before a pay raise an context, there is surely an option for you here.
to ensure you show up on time.
The advantage of working for an association is
FleishmanHillard: With offices in over 20 coun- that you speak on behalf of a diverse group and
tries around the world FleishmanHillard is a stan- make a lot of contacts both with national as well
dard bearer in the Public Relations jungle. Their as European actors which is a great way to en-
Brussels office has a staff of over 70 people and hance your network across sectors and learn the
manage a wide range of topics, meaning you can insights of your sector.
get experience in any field here. But beware, if
Monsanto or JP Morgan isn’t your cup of tea, bet- A good way to get an overview of what might be
ter think it over twice. available is to scroll through the EU’s Transparen-
cy Register which has a near complete list of all
RPP Group: RPP is a specialized agency focusing association working at the European level.
on health and consumer policy. Operating in 8
cities across Europe and Australia, RPP is a mid- Here you can also put in specific parameters like
sized consultancy, smaller than FleishmanHillard which policy area or what kind of association, be
and H+K but still large enough to be a household it volunteering or profit oriented, you are hooked
name in Brussels with career perspective for the on.
young starry-eyed trainee.
NGOs
Other notable mentions include EPPA, Grayling,
Edelman and many, many more. Non-Governmental Organisations are as diverse
as the name would suggest. What they have in
Worth noting that these tend to work for the common is being independent from states, a
highest bidder, so it is likely you might be working non-profit based goal and typically work in the
for some large corporations and not-so-democrat- fields of environment, education, health or the so-
ic governments so as to keep the account cash cial sphere in the furtherance of a broader goal
flowing. like the fight against climate change, stopping do-
mestic violence or enhancing transparency in the
EU (ehem, Council).
54
What makes NGOs stand apart then is the fact have a PhD student in your stomach but want to
that they generally have more limited resources give the researcher’s life a go before committing,
than industry associations and rely on member- maybe CEPS is the place for you.
ship fees and other funding.
Bruegel is a Think Tank that specializes in eco-
What you might miss in pay you will be able to nomics. Established some 15 years ago, it is not
make up for in diversity as many NGOs are true the oldest of think tanks but it has garnered a lot
melting pots of people coming from all EU coun- of attention and hosts a range of events with top
tries (and beyond). All depending on which focus ranking politicians on the issues of the day (often
area you have. Many NGOs also work closely with euro related).
EU institutions, allocate funds or participate in EU
programmes. An NGO can therefore not just be a Bonus: they have a podcast where you can get all
rewarding place to work but also a way for you to the latest monetary policy gossip you never knew
get to know people in other parts of the machin- you had interest in.
ery before taking that definitive leap that is EPSO.
The Lisbon Council: A think tank with a green and
Think Tanks sustainable economic ethos, the Lisbon Council
has been ahead of the political curve and seems
Think Tanks have been multiplying in recent years like an ideal place for the environmentally woke
and function as a mixture of academic research, Eurobrat to start digging into the complex ques-
ideas lab and a political communications agency. tions like the economics of climate change and
Brussels hosts quite a few think tanks including Universal Basic Income models.
big weights and smaller ones.
Political Think Tanks: Each political group in the
Keep in mind that think tanks have more or less European Parliament has its own think tank which
explicit goals and objectives and tend to favour supports policy making of MEPs in furtherance of
some interests over others even if their publica- their agenda and work as ideas labs. This makes
tions are presented as neutral research. Another the political think tanks slightly different from oth-
thing to ponder before sending out applications is er think tanks as they are honest about their po-
whether you like to do research and write policy litical bias.
heavy analyses. People with a background in aca-
demia often find think tanks interesting places to The best known of these is the Wilfried Martens
look at concrete ideas and deliver policy solutions Centre, the official think tank of the European
while others can drown in the details of a statisti- People’s Party (EPP), named after the former Bel-
cal regression analysis of comparative labour sta- gian Prime Minister of the same name.
tistics. To each his own, as the saying goes.
For the S&D group, FEPS does the thinking while
A couple of noteworthy mentions include: the Greens are supported by GEF, the Green Eu-
ropean Foundation. Before applying, consider if
Centre for European Policy Studies (CEPS): you want to make your career in the EPP’s think
Founded in 1983, CEPS is a powerhouse in the tank if you voted for the far-left, and vice-versa.
EU Think Tank Dimension. Employing over 60 re-
searchers and hosting well over a 100 events per Not satisfied by our choices? There are many
year, CEPS does research in all areas pertaining to more.
European policies from interbanking-finance reg-
ulations to EU asylum and migration policy. If you
55
Regional & National Representations Journalism

When You Don’t Get the Job
The emergence of cities and regions has been The Fourth Estate has had a rough time of late.
something
We’ll of awith
be honest phenomenon in recent gets
you, not everyone decades
the With layoffs in new media companies such as
with their own institution in the Committee
dream job, or even any job. Many of our friends of Buzzfeed and Vice worldwide and legacy news-
the Regions. Although not technically
and indeed some of us have had to move back diplomat- papers struggling to adapt to the digital sphere,
at ic institutions,
some point, butoffices
that that represent
shouldn’t keepregions op-
you down. the profession of journalist is as unstable as the
Youerate
havemuch like their
acquired biggerexperience
valuable siblings, thethat
national
your politics that they cover.
representations, without the spy work.
peers back home don’t have, you now know a sys-
tem that to most people remains deeply strange Nonetheless, in Brussels, there are bureaus
Many
and of these institutions are small but many
incomprehensible. of most of the major world newspapers have
can be large operations such as those of the some sort of presence here. Politico Europe,
German
You länder which
have worked can rival
in a complex some Permwith
organisation Reps of course, is the home grown superstar and is
in terms of staff and real estate. Of course, it a profitable business with reporters working a
helps to be from the region / country when you variety of policy areas. Expect long hours, low
apply to one of these but it is not a strict pre- pay and freelance contracts before you get that
requisite with many of these looking to expand Pulitzer.
their horizons with foreign staff.
56
3.3 Moving Back Home - Thank You, Next
When You Don’t Get the Job and indeed some of us have had to move back at
some point, but that shouldn’t keep you down.
We’ll be honest with you, not everyone gets the
dream job, or even any job. Many of our friends You have acquired valuable experience that your
and indeed some of us have had to move back at peers back home don’t have, you now know a
some point, but that shouldn’t keep you down. system that to most people remains deeply
You have acquired valuable experience that your strange and incomprehensible.
peers back home don’t have, you now know a
system that to most people remains deeply You have worked in a complex organisation with
strange and incomprehensible. multiple languages being spoken at meetings,
sometimes at the same time and different cul-
You have worked in a complex organisation with tures working together. That kind of experience
multiple languages being spoken at meetings, is valuable in any organisation, the only thing is to
sometimes at the same time and different cul- highlight it so that your future employer under-
tures working together. That kind of experience stands what you can bring of value.
is valuable in any organisation, the only thing is to
highlight it so that your future employer under- Sell Yourself and Your Traineeship
stands what you can bring of value.
You were one of only a few people to make it
Sell Yourself and Your Traineeship through. Even if your country doesn’t have that
many applicants, don’t mind, you focus on the
You were one of only a few people to make it positive aspects. Thousands, sometimes tens of
through. Even if your country doesn’t have that thousands of young professional apply for train-
many applicants, don’t mind, you focus on the eeships in the EU and only a few hundred get to
positive aspects. Thousands, sometimes tens of go. So use that as a case in point when you need
thousands of young professional apply for train- to demonstrate why you can be a valuable team
eeships in the EU and only a few hundred get to player and co-worker.
go. So use that as a case in point when you need
to demonstrate why you can be a valuable team EU Trainee Ambassador is a trainee-run initiative
player and co-worker. born only last year that intends to prepare those
interested promoting EU traineeships and, inci-
When You Don’t Get the Job dentally the EU in their home countries. It is also
a good excuse to keep in touch with the EU in-
We’ll be honest with you, not everyone gets the stitutions by becoming a de facto agent for them
dream job, or even any job. Many of our friends (pro bono, of course).
57
3.4 The Internship Hustle - Advice for Professional Interns

Another Internship or Contract?
So what do you do if you can’t get an actual po- while there are fewer people hungry work in or-
sition in any of the above, is another internship ganisations linked with the EU, when the price
an option? That question will depend on your for that is their free labour.
age, how many internships you have done be-
fore, and whether mum and dad are willing and The EU has made some kind of declaration on
able to bankroll your life in a European capital. It traineeships, however, in the 2014 Council Rec-
has become almost an unspoken rule between all ommendation on a uality Framework for Train-
organisations in Brussels, either through lack of eeships. You can read that for yourself but it
funding or pure capitalistic callousness to have doesn’t take a genius to deduce that they do not
permanent trainee positions where they can get address the issue of pay and conditions of train-
away with having a high turnover of overqualified eeships strongly enough. They are evidently had
people at a low stipend (if any). some good legal trainees.
Others use internships to suss out who is worth Intern Organisations

the ink on their CV, as an extended interview of
sorts to hire future employees. What is an inev- Thankfully, you’re not on your own. If you do find
itable reality is that Brussels, and particularly the yourself in a traineeship situation and are look-
Eurobubble, is filled with an abundance of over- ing to get some dedicated advice on whether
qualified, intelligent people willing to work long you’re getting short-changed in any way, direct
hours for low wages with the prospect of suc- your attention to the various grassroots organ-
cess, status, Europhilia or all of the above as their isations looking to lobby for and help interns in
goals. It works out for some, but it has been said their struggle.
that there is an entire ‘golden’ generation of pro-
fessionals that are wasting away in the Brussels Brussels Intern NGO (B!ngo). Started in 2013,
internship (vicious) cycle. they have a substantial team are behind a lot
of the initiatives and marches you’ll see around
Know Your Rights Brussels in defence trainee’s rights. EU Interns 4
Interns is another more EU focused organisation
If you are to pursue another traineeship, and you with a significant following. If you are looking to
probably will, it is worthwhile noting that there find a quality internship, the organisation Interns
are many different options out there, in other Go Pro only advertise internships that pass their
words, an unpaid internship can be avoided if stringent quality standards on their pla orms.
done properly.
Communaute Europ enne du Stage is a french
The attention on both a national and internation- language Facebook group where internships of
al level towards this issue is ensuring that the all types are posted but are usually sieved natu-
public and private sector together take note, rally by the power of the crowd.
58
BB
End Note
Thanks for reading all the way through. Congrats! For doing so you have earned a spot in #Wonderley-
en’s cabinet (terms and conditions apply, don’t read the small print). We hope you got as much infor-
mation / enjoyment from reading this as we did writing it.
Our aim is to keep this ‘Bible’ updated for every cohort of trainees so that each one is passed on gen-
erations of trainee knowledge and wisdom in a single document. In order to do so, we would love your
help.
If you loved this edition, send it to your friends. If you hated it, keep it to yourself and shoot us an
email at editor@brusselsbrief.eu. to tell us what you would keep, what you would get rid of and, most
importantly, what you would add to the next edition.
In any case, we want to hear about your best experiences, anecdotes as well as embarrassing work
stories and drunken Plux nights on social media.
Use the hashtag #EUTrainee on Twitter or send us a picture with #EUTrainee on Instagram. Also why
not DM us on our Facebook page or check out our Instagram.
If you have a good story or picture, we’d love to feature it. We also want to hear of pet peeves, horror
stories and cliches on #EUTraineeProblems. It might even become a feature in the next guide.
Good luck for the rest of your traineeship and career start in Brussels. We hope to have been a good
friend in the beginning and hope to maintain the friendship as you go through your journey.’
If you would like to keep us in your life and, in the meantime, get informed on what is being reported
on and about the EU then please do us a solid and sign up to Brussels Brief so that we can send you
our weekly update with everything that people are talking about, along with some things people aren’t
discussing.
À bientôt,
The Brussels Brief Team

Credits
Copyright © 2019 by Brusselsbrief.eu
EU Trainee Bible ‘Third Edition’
All rights reserved
Made with love in Ixelles, Belgium.
www.brusselsbrief.eu
Special thanks to:
Pieter-Jan Willems - Designer Extraordinaire
Alberto Rocamora Garcia - Queer Eye
Our parents who were kind enough to make sure we are here today to
make EU jokes.

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EU Trainee Bible

BEFORE YOUR TRAINEESHIP

DURING YOUR TRAINEESHIP

AFTER YOUR TRAINEESHIP

But don’t panic.

The Brussels Brief Team

What is Brussels Brief?

Brussels Brief is a weekly newsletter about the EU and European politics.

We hope you’ll enjoy it.

You are now officially a Eurocrat. Congratulations! Everyone hates you.

The options vary depending on preferred loca-

Rooms typically rent between €400 and €600

“Rooms typically rent between €400 and €600

A typical trainee housing block

Not all metro stations are this pristine

download the official STIB-MVIB app to get up- Bikes

“Brussels traffic is both notoriously congested and

One last but important note: Brussels traffic Out of Belgium

1.3 Getting Started - As Soon as You Arrive

Opening A Bank Account:

Yoga & Pilates studios Running events

Serendip Spa & Yoga is situated in Place Steph-

“With EU roaming finally abolished, rejoice,

1.4 The City

Practical Information - Lost in Trans-

Being a bilingual city, remember that

However, a bus or tram might have the

There is a reason they put the EU in Bel-

What Brussels lacks in city wide management it

The European Institutions i.e. The European

The most popular areas among students and

Bruxelles-Ville is the so-called centre of Brus-

Weather — The Belgian Tax You’re Paying

German socialist paradises Aldi and Lidl offer

This building is known as the Berlaymont. Not to be confused with Berlaymonster

The European Commission The Commission employs around 30.000 people.

The European Parliament

This is where the democracy sausage is made

The Council The European Council

What happens in Justus Lipsius stays in Justus Lipsius

2.1 Work time

Security Procedures can vary from place to place with

“Remember to give yourself a few extra

“Network network network is

“If you feel uncomfortable and the behaviour

“We recommend both newsletters and

Twitter Mehreen Khan: The Financial Times’ star reporter is

2.3 Down time

Much like the Common Agricultural Policy, the EU’s

Most Trainees will work in the European Quarter

Africa Museum: Formerly holder of the dubious

Parc Cinquantenaire - If you’re keen on going for a

Ancienne Belgique hosts some of the top acts from

Sounds Jazz Club: a small intimate jazz club which

Pro-tip: try Arsene 50: this site offers tickets at half

Belgium is famous for its beer and should you want

Ghent is an easy win for where to take your parents

Antwerp is a bit further afield and futuristic, a visit

Brugge is the place where you have to go whether

Best of Wallonia - Wallonia, the French part of Bel-

Dinant is the type of place where Insta-worthy pho-

3.1 Staying in the EU Institutions

“While passing the EPSO concours is the only defin-