Vous êtes sur la page 1sur 5

• Behavioral Anger – This type of anger usually describes someone who is

aggressive towards whatever triggered their anger… this can be another

person. This can be someone who always seems to act out, or is troublesome.
Sometimes the outcome is physical abuse or attacks against others.
• Passive Anger - People, who use sarcasm or mockery as a way to hide their
feelings, typically express this form of anger. They tend to avoid confrontations
with people or situations.
• Verbal Anger – Anger that’s expressed mostly through words and not actions.
Verbal abuse is used to criticize and insult people (put them down) and
• Constructive Anger – This type of anger is a key factor in driving people to
want to join movements and groups. It’s the feeling of being fed up with how
things are going, and the need to make a positive change.
• Self-inflicted Anger – Anger that translates in causing harm to one’s own
body. People who use this type of anger are acting out by punishing themselves
for something they’ve done wrong. Some examples include starvation, cutting,
and overeating.
• Volatile Anger – This form of anger occurs in varying degrees… it comes and
goes. It can just appear out of nowhere, or build into something bigger. It can
either explode or go unnoticed. It could even be expressed verbally or
• Chronic Anger – Ever come across someone that’s seemingly angry for no
reason, or mad all the time? More than likely, they were exhibiting this type of
anger. People with chronic anger are just mad in general.
• Judgmental Anger – Putting other people down and making them feel bad
about themselves, or abilities, is a form of judgmental anger. This person
expresses their feelings by making those around them feel worthless.
• Overwhelmed Anger – This person relieves stress by shouting, and flying off
the handle, when they can’t take situations and things that are happening
around them, anymore. When things are just too overwhelming… which is why
it’s called ‘overwhelmed anger’.
• Retaliatory Anger – This is probably one of the most common, of the bunch.
Retaliatory anger usually occurs as a direct response to someone else lashing
out at you… has that happened to you once or twice?
• Paranoid Anger – This anger comes about when someone feels jealousy
towards others, because they feel other people have or want to take what’s
rightfully theirs. Or they may act out because they feel intimidated by others.
• Deliberate Anger – Using anger to gain power over a situation or person. A
person expressing this form of anger may not start out angry, but will get angry
when something does not turn out the way they wanted. Or, someone doesn’t
see eye to eye with something they planned.

Anger is a strong emotion of displeasure caused by some type of grievance that is either real or
perceived to be real by a person. The cognitive behavior theory attributes anger to several factors
such as past experiences, behavior learned from others, genetic predispositions, and a lack of
problem-solving ability. To put it more simply, anger is caused by a combination of two factors: an
irrational perception of reality ("It has to be done my way") and a low frustration point ("It's my
way or no way"). Anger is an internal reaction that is perceived to have a external cause. Angry
people almost always blame their reactions on some person or some event, but rarely do they
realize that the reason they are angry is because of their irrational perception of the world. Angry
people have a certain perception and expectation of the world that they live in and when that
reality does not meet their expectation of it, then they become angry.
It is important to understand that not all anger is unhealthy. Anger is one of our most primitive
defense mechanisms that protects and motivates us from being dominated or manipulated by
others. It gives us the added strength, courage, and motivation needed to combat injustice done
against us or to others that we love. However, if anger is left uncontrolled and free to take over
the mind and body at any time, then anger becomes destructive.
Why We Need to Control Anger
Just like a person who is under the control of a street drug---a person under the influence of
anger cannot rationalize, comprehend, or make good decisions because anger distorts logical
reasoning into blind emotion. You become unable to think clearly and your emotions take control
of your actions. Physiologically speaking, anger enacts the fight or flight response in our brain,
which increases our blood pressure and releases adrenaline into our bloodstream, thereby
increasing our strength and pain threshold. Anger makes us think of only two things: (1) Defend,
or (2) Attack. Neither of these options facilitates a good negotiation.
Internal Sources of Anger
Our internal sources of anger come from our irrational perceptions of reality. Psychologists have
identified four types of thinking that contribute to anger.
1. Emotional reasoning. People who reason emotionally misinterpret normal events and things
that other people say as being directly threatening to their needs and goals. People who use
emotional reasoning tend to become irritated at something innocent that other people tell them
because they perceive it as an attack on themselves. Emotional reasoning can lead to
dysfunctional anger in the long run.
2. Low frustration tolerance. All of us at some point have experienced a time where our tolerance
for frustration was low. Often stress-related anxiety lowers our tolerance for frustration and we
begin to perceive normal things as threats to our well-being or threats to our ego.
3. Unreasonable expectations. When people make demands, they see things as how they should
be and not as they really are. This lowers their frustration tolerance because people who have
unreasonable expectations expect others to act a certain way, or for uncontrollable events to
behave in a predictable manner. When these things do not go their way, then anger, frustration,
and eventually depression set in.
4. People-rating. People-rating is an anger-causing type of thinking where the person applies a
derogatory label on someone else. By rating someone as a "bitch" or a "bastard," it dehumanizes
them and makes it easier for them to become angry at the person.
External Sources Of Anger
There are a hundreds of internal and external events that can make us angry, but given the
parameters of a negotiating situation, we can narrow these factors down to four general events.
1. The person makes personal attacks against us. The other side attacks you along with the
problem in the form of verbal abuse.
2. The person attacks our ideas. The other side chops down our ideas, opinions, and options.
3. The person threatens our needs. The person threatens to take away a basic need of ours if they
do not get their way i.e. "I'll make sure you'll never work in this city again."
4. We get frustrated. Our tolerance level for getting things done m`ight be low or affected by any
number of environmental factors in our lives.
Factors That Lower Our Frustration Tolerance
1. Stress / Anxiety. When our stress-level increases, our tolerance for frustration decreases. This
is why there are so many domestic disputes and divorces over financial problems.
2. Pain. Physical and emotional pain lowers our frustration tolerance. This is because we are so
focused on taking care of our survival needs, that we do not have time for anything or anyone
3. Drugs / Alcohol. Drugs and alcohol affect how our brain processes information and can make a
person more irritable or bring forward repressed emotions or memories that can trigger anger.
4. Recent irritations. Recent irritations can also be called "having a bad day." It's the little
irritations that add up during the course of the day that lower our tolerance for frustration. Recent
irritations can be: stepping in a puddle, spilling coffee on your shirt, being late for work, being
stuck in a traffic jam, having a flat tire.
Recognizing the Physiological Signs of Anger
By recognizing the physiological signs of anger, we can attune ourselves to know when it is time
to take measures to make sure that our level of anger does not get out of control. Here are some
symptoms of anger:
1. Unconscious tensing of muscles, especially in the face and neck.
2. Teeth grinding
3. Breathing rate increases dramatically
4. Face turns red and veins start to become visible due to an increase in blood pressure
5. Face turns pale
6. Sweating
7. Feeling hot or cold
8. Shaking in the hands
9. Goosebumps
10. Heart rate increases
11.Adrenaline is released into your system creating a surge of power.

• Explosive outbursts leading to physical attack or destruction of property.
• Exaggerate hostility to unimportant irritants.
• Rapid and harsh judgment statements made to or about others.
• Use of body language such as tense muscles, clenched fist or jaw, glaring
looks, or refusal to make eye contact.
• Use of passive-aggressive behaviors.
• Social withdrawal due to anger.
• Refusing to complete assignments on timely basis.
• Refusing to follow instructions or rules.
• Complaining about authority figures behind their back.
• Refusing to participate in activities when this behavior is expected.
• Authority is challenged or disrespected.
• Verbal abusive language is utilized.

Anger Management Techniques - Choices
Anger is a very strong emotion. Uncontrolled anger is a life-long pattern. It is not easy to
overcome anger; it requires determined commitment. It requires honesty, courage, and
tremendous inner strength. It also requires help from others. To overcome anger, these steps
are important:
• Consciously determine to be calm. Don't react, think! Remember your goals and
respond appropriately. Choose to remain calm!
• Communicate. When someone upsets you, tell them. Calmly talk to them about how
you feel about their words or actions. Learn to express yourself better -- clear and
composed. Choose to!
• Remove yourself from the scene until you can respond without anger.Your success will
not happen overnight. Take it one step at a time, one day at a time. Remember to
relax. Relaxation exercises or music can be helpful. Keep in mind you can reach out to
someone you trust for help. Choose to!
• Frequently take time for yourself. Do something you enjoy like walking in the park,
swimming, reading the Bible, or seeing a feel-good movie. Do something nice for
someone you admire. It's okay to feel good about yourself. Choose to!
• Look for the positives. Don't dwell on the negatives. "Don't sweat the small stuff." Learn
to be forgiving. This is difficult, but we need to start by learning to forgive ourselves!
Anger Management Techniques - Gaining Perfect Peace
A person having difficulty controlling his anger is not a bad person. Anger against ‘wrong’ is
not sin! It is no disgrace to admit we have a problem and seek outside help. Peace, and the
solution to life's problems, can only be found by turning to God. There are many Bible
verses1 that deal specifically with anger and its implications. You need to pray for strength
and self control to enjoy a life of contentment and joy. You also need to pray to God to remove
the darkness of anger controlling you. Choose it! "You (God) will keep in perfect peace all who
trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you!"