A dangling modifier is a word or phrase that modifies a word not clearly stated in the sentence.

A
modifier describes, clarifies, or gives more detail about a concept.
Having finished the assignment, Jill turned on the TV.
"Having finished" states an action but does not name the doer of that action. In English
sentences, the doer must be the subject of the main clause that follows. In this sentence, it is Jill.
She seems logically to be the one doing the action ("having finished"), and this sentence
therefore does not have a dangling modifier.
The following sentence has an incorrect usage:
Having finished the assignment, the TV was turned on.
"Having finished" is a participle expressing action, but the doer is not the TV set (the subject of
the main clause): TV sets don't finish assignments. Since the doer of the action expressed in the
participle has not been clearly stated, the participial phrase is said to be a dangling modifier.
Strategies for revising dangling modifiers:
1. Name the appropriate or logical doer of the action as the subject of the main clause:
Having arrived late for practice, a written excuse was needed.
Who arrived late? This sentence says that the written excuse arrived late. To revise, decide who
actually arrived late. The possible revision might look like this:
Having arrived late for practice, the team captain needed a written excuse.
The main clause now names the person (the captain) who did the action in the modifying phrase
(arrived late).
2. Change the phrase that dangles into a complete introductory clause by naming the doer of the
action in that clause:
Without knowing his name, it was difficult to introduce him.
Who didn't know his name? This sentence says that "it" didn't know his name. To revise, decide
who was trying to introduce him. The revision might look something like this:
Because Maria did not know his name, it was difficult to introduce him.
The phrase is now a complete introductory clause; it does not modify any other part of the
sentence, so is not considered "dangling."
3. Combine the phrase and main clause into one:
To improve his results, the experiment was done again.
Who wanted to improve results? This sentence says that the experiment was trying to improve
its own results. To revise, combine the phrase and the main clause into one sentence. The
revision might look something like this:
He improved his results by doing the experiment again.
More examples of dangling modifiers and their revisions:
INCORRECT: After reading the original study, the article remains unconvincing.
REVISED: After reading the original study, I find the article unconvincing.
INCORRECT: Relieved of your responsibilities at your job, your home should be a place to
relax.
REVISED: Relieved of your responsibilities at your job, you should be able to relax at home.
INCORRECT: The experiment was a failure, not having studied the lab manual carefully.
REVISED: They failed the experiment, not having studied the lab manual carefully.
Coordination and Subordination
Coordinating conjunctions are used to join independent clauses to make compound sentences.
The coordinating conjunctions are as follows: and, but, for, nor, or, so, and yet. You can use
coordinating conjunctions to revise run-on sentences and comma splices (see above). You can
also use coordinating conjunctions to make writing less choppy by joining short, simple
sentences. Consider the following examples.
 Independent Clauses: I wanted more popcorn. Sam wanted Junior Mints.
Joined Together: I wanted more popcorn, but Sam wanted Junior Mints.
In this example, it is necessary to put a comma before the coordinating conjunction but because
there are two independent clauses being combined. Another way to think of this is that I wanted
more popcorn and Sam wanted Junior Mints could stand on their own as independent
sentences. So, there must be a comma and a conjunction between them.
 Independent Clauses: I wanted more popcorn. I didn’t want any more soda.
Joined Together: I wanted more popcorn but no soda.
In this example, we’ve combined the sentences with the coordinating conjunction but. We’ve
also eliminated some of the words so that the sentence wouldn’t sound redundant. In this case, it
isn’t necessary to put a comma before but because there are not two independent clauses joined
together.
Subordinating conjunctions are used to join independent clauses to make complex sentences.
The subordinating conjunctions are as follows: after, although, as, as if, because, before, even if,
even though, if, if only, rather than, since, that, though, unless, until, when, where, whereas,
wherever, whether, which, and while.

You can use subordinating conjunctions to correct run-on sentences and comma splices. And
you can use them to combine sentences so that writing is less choppy. Consider the following
examples.
 Complex Sentence: I wanted to get more soda because it’s hard to eat popcorn without it.
In this sentence, the subordinate clause is at the end. It would also be correct to place the
subordinate clause at the beginning of the sentence:

Because it’s hard to eat popcorn without it, I wanted to get more soda.

Notice that when the subordinate clause comes at the beginning, it’s necessary to insert a
comma.
 Complex Sentence: While I was getting more soda and popcorn, I missed a really
important part of the movie. (Subordinate clause at the beginning of the sentence).
I missed a really important part of the movie while I was getting more soda and popcorn.
(Subordinate clause at the end of the sentence).
Subordination and Coordination Exercise
Join the two independent clauses to make a compound sentence. Use one of the coordinating
conjunctions (and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet). Remember to use a comma before the connecting
word.
 He enjoys walking through the country. He often goes backpacking on his vacations.
 He often watched TV when there were only reruns. She preferred to read instead.
 I didn't know which job I wanted. I decided to wait to decide.
Join the two independent clauses to make a complex sentence. Use one of the subordinating
conjunctions (after, although, as, as if, because, before, even if, even though, if, if only, rather
than, since, that, though, unless, until, when, where, whereas, wherever, whether, which, and
while). Remember to use a comma if the subordinating conjunction comes at the beginning of
the sentence.
 I stayed up all night studying for my Algebra exam. I was so tired all day today.
 Jerry and Elaine always go to movies together. They don’t go to movies together when
Jerry is dating someone.
 Mad Season is a great band. They only put out one album.
 There are many strategies for improving the clarity of your sentences and your papers.
 Go from old to new information
 Introduce your readers to the "big picture" first by giving them information they already
know. Then they can link what's familiar to the new information you give them. As that
new information becomes familiar, it too becomes old information that can link to newer
information.
 The following example sentence is clear and understandable because it uses old
information to lead to new information:
 Every semester after final exams are over, I'm faced with the problem of what to do with
books of lecture notes (new information). They (old) might be useful some day, but they
just keep piling up on my bookcase (new). Someday, it (old) will collapse under the weight
of information I might never need.
 Here is a sentence that is not as clear. It moves from new information to old information:
 Lately, most movies I've seen have been merely second-rate entertainment, but
occasionally there are some with worthwhile themes. The rapid disappearance of the
Indian culture (new) is the topic of a recent movie (old) I saw.
 Did you find the second sentence hard to read or understand? If so, it could be because
the old information comes late in the sentence after the new information. A clearer version
that moves from old information to new information might look like this:
 Lately, most movies I've seen have been merely second-rate entertainment, but
occasionally there are some with worthwhile themes. One recent movie (old) I saw was
about the rapid disappearance of the Indian culture. (new)
 Transitional words
 There are many words in English that cue our readers to relationships between
sentences, joining sentences together. See the handout on Transitional Devices
(Connecting Words). There you'll find lists of words such as however, therefore, in
addition, also, but, moreover, etc.
 I like autumn, and yet autumn is a sad time of the year, too. The leaves turn bright shades
of red and the weather is mild, but I can't help thinking ahead to the winter and the ice
storms that will surely blow through here. In addition, that will be the season of chapped
faces, too many layers of clothes to put on, and days when I'll have to shovel heaps of
snow from my car's windshield.
 Be careful about placement of subordinate clauses
 Avoid interrupting the main clause with a subordinate clause if the interruption will cause
confusion:
 Clear (subordinate clause at the end):
 Industrial spying is increasing rapidly because of the growing use of computers to store
and process corporate information.
 Clear (subordinate clause at the beginning):
 Because of the growing use of computers to store and process corporate information,
industrial spying is increasing rapidly.
 Not as clear (subordinate clause embedded in the middle):
 Industrial spying,because of the growing use of computers to store and process corporate
information, is increasing rapidly.
 Use active voice
 Sentences in active voice are usually easier to understand than those in passive voice
because active-voice constructions indicate clearly the performer of the action
expressed in the verb. In addition, changing from passive voice to active often results in a
more concise sentence. So use active voice unless you have good reason to use the
passive. For example, the passive is useful when you don't want to call attention to the
doer; when the doer is obvious, unimportant, or unknown; or when passive voice is the
conventional style among your readers.
 Clear (active):
 The committee decided to postpone the vote.
 Not as clear (passive):
 A decision was reached to postpone the vote.
 Use parallel constructions
 When you have a series of words, phrases, or clauses, put them in parallel form (similar
grammatical construction) so that the reader can identify the linking relationship more
easily and clearly.
 Clear (parallel):
 In Florida, where the threat of hurricanes is an annual event, we learned that it is
important (1) to become aware of the warning signs, (2) to know what precautions to take,
and (3) to decide when to seek shelter.
 Not as clear (not parallel):
 In Florida, where the threat of hurricanes is an annual event, we learned that it is
important (1) to become aware of the warning signs. (2) There are precautions to take,
and (3) deciding when to take shelter is important.
 In the second sentence, notice how the string of "things to be aware of in Florida" does
not create a parallel structure. Also, notice how much more difficult it is for a reader to
follow the meaning of the second sentence compared to the first one.
 Avoid noun strings
 Try not to string nouns together one after the other because a series of nouns is difficult to
understand. One way to revise a string of nouns is to change one noun to a verb.
 Unclear (string of nouns):
 This report explains our investment growth stimulation projects.
 Clearer:
 This report explains our projects to stimulate growth in investments.
 Avoid overusing noun forms of verbs
 Use verbs when possible rather than noun forms known as "nominalizations."
 Unclear (use of nominalization):
 The implementation of the plan was successful.
 Clearer:
  The plan was implemented successfully.
 Avoid multiple negatives
 Use affirmative forms rather than several negatives because multiple negatives are
difficult to understand.
 Unclear (multiple negatives, passive):
 Less attention is paid to commercials that lack human interest stories than to other kinds
of commercials.
 Clearer:
 People pay more attention to commercials with human interest stories than to other kinds
of commercials.
 Choose action verbs over forms of to be
 When possible, avoid using forms of be as the main verbs in your sentences and clauses.
This problem tends to accompany nominalization (see above). Instead of using a be verb,
focus on the actions you wish to express, and choose the appropriate verbs. In the
following example, two ideas are expressed: (1) that there is a difference between
television and newspaper news reporting, and (2) the nature of that difference. The
revised version expresses these two main ideas in the two main verbs.
 Unclear (overuse of be verbs):
 One difference between television news reporting and the coverage provided by
newspapers is the time factor between the actual happening of an event and the time it
takes to be reported. The problem is that instantaneous coverage is physically impossible
for newspapers.
 Clearer:
 Television news reporting differs from that of newspapers in that television, unlike
newspapers, can provide instantaneous coverage of events as they happen.
 Avoid unclear pronoun references
 Be sure that the pronouns you use refer clearly to a noun in the current or previous
sentence. If the pronoun refers to a noun that has been implied but not stated, you can
clarify the reference by explicitly using that noun.
 This, that, these, those, he, she, it, they, and we are useful pronouns for referring back to
something previously mentioned. Be sure, however, that what you are referring to is clear.
 Unclear (unclear pronoun reference):
 With the spread of globalized capitalism, American universities increasingly follow a
corporate fiscal model, tightening budgets and hiring temporary contract employees as
teachers. This has prompted faculty and adjunct instructors at many schools to join
unions as a way of protecting job security and benefits.

 Clearer:
 With the spread of globalized capitalism, American universities increasingly follow a
corporate fiscal model, tightening budgets and hiring temporary contract employees as
teachers. This trend has prompted faculty and adjunct instructors at many schools to join
unions as a way of protecting job security and benefits.
 Unclear (unclear pronoun reference):
 Larissa worked in a national forest last summer, which may be her career choice.
 Clearer:
 Larissa worked in a national forest last summer; forest management may be her career
choice.
Fragments are incomplete sentences. Usually, fragments are pieces of sentences that have
become disconnected from the main clause. One of the easiest ways to correct them is to
remove the period between the fragment and the main clause. Other kinds of punctuation may
be needed for the newly combined sentence.
Below are some examples with the fragments shown in red. Punctuation and/or words added to
make corrections are highlighted in blue. Notice that the fragment is frequently a dependent
clause or long phrase that follows the main clause.
 Fragment:Purdue offers many majors in engineering. Such as electrical, chemical, and
industrial engineering.
Possible Revision: Purdue offers many majors in engineering, such as electrical,
chemical, and industrial engineering.
 Fragment: Coach Dietz exemplified this behavior by walking off the field in the middle of
a game. Leaving her team at a time when we needed her.
 Possible Revision: Coach Dietz exemplified this behavior by walking off the field in the
middle of a game, leaving her team at a time when we needed her.
 Fragment: I need to find a new roommate. Because the one I have now isn't working
out too well.
Possible Revision: I need to find a new roommate because the one I have now isn't
working out too well.
 Fragment: The current city policy on housing is incomplete as it stands. Which is why
we believe the proposed amendments should be passed.
Possible Revision: Because the current city policy on housing is incomplete as it stands,
we believe the proposed amendments should be passed.
You may have noticed that newspaper and magazine journalists often use a dependent clause
as a separate sentence when it follows clearly from the preceding main clause, as in the last
example above. This is a conventional journalistic practice, often used for emphasis.
For academic writing and other more formal writing situations, however, you should avoid such
journalistic fragment sentences.
Some fragments are not clearly pieces of sentences that have been left unattached to the main
clause; they are written as main clauses but lack a subject or main verb.
No main verb
 Fragment: A story with deep thoughts and emotions.
Possible Revisions:
o Direct object: She told a story with deep thoughts and emotions.
o Appositive: Gilman's "The Yellow Wallpaper," a story with deep thoughts and
emotions, has impressed critics for decades.
 Fragment: Toys of all kinds thrown everywhere.
Possible Revisions:
o Complete verb: Toys of all kinds were thrown everywhere.
o Direct object: They found toys of all kinds thrown everywhere.
 Fragment: A record of accomplishment beginning when you were first hired.
Possible Revisions:
o Direct object: I've noticed a record of accomplishment beginning when you were
first hired
o Main verb: A record of accomplishment began when you were first hired.
No Subject
 Fragment: With the ultimate effect of all advertising is to sell the product.
Possible Revisions:
o Remove preposition: The ultimate effect of all advertising is to sell the product.
 Fragment: By paying too much attention to polls can make a political leader
unwilling to propose innovative policies.
Possible Revisions:
o Remove preposition: Paying too much attention to polls can make a political leader
unwilling to propose innovative policies.
 Fragment: For doing freelance work for a competitor got Phil fired.
Possible Revisions:
o Remove preposition: Doing freelance work for a competitor got Phil fired.
o Rearrange: Phil got fired for doing freelance work for a competitor.
These last three examples of fragments with no subjects are also known as mixed
constructions, that is, sentences constructed out of mixed parts. They start one way (often with
a long prepositional phrase) but end with a regular predicate. Usually the object of the
preposition (often a gerund, as in the last two examples) is intended as the subject of the
sentence, so removing the preposition at the beginning is usually the easiest way to edit such
errors.
Parallel structure means using the same pattern of words to show that two or more ideas have
the same level of importance. This can happen at the word, phrase, or clause level. The usual
way to join parallel structures is with the use of coordinating conjunctions such as "and" or "or."
Words and Phrases
With the -ing form (gerund) of words:
Parallel:
Mary likes hiking, swimming, and bicycling.
With infinitive phrases:
Parallel:
Mary likes to hike, to swim, and to ride a bicycle.
OR
Mary likes to hike, swim, and ride a bicycle.
(Note: You can use "to" before all the verbs in a sentence or only before the first one.)
Do not mix forms.
Example 1
Not Parallel:
Mary likes hiking, swimming, and to ride a bicycle.
Parallel:
Mary likes hiking, swimming, and riding a bicycle.
Example 2
Not Parallel:
The production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately, and in a detailed
manner.
Parallel:
The production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately, and thoroughly.
Example 3
Not Parallel:
The teacher said that he was a poor student because he waited until the last minute to study for
the exam, completed his lab problems in a careless manner, and his motivation was low.
Parallel:
The teacher said that he was a poor student because he waited until the last minute to study for
the exam, completed his lab problems in a careless manner, and lacked motivation.
Clauses
A parallel structure that begins with clauses must keep on with clauses. Changing to another
pattern or changing the voice of the verb (from active to passive or vice versa) will break the
parallelism.
Example 1
Not Parallel:
The coach told the players that they should get a lot of sleep, that they should not eat too
much, and to do some warm-up exercises before the game.
Parallel:
The coach told the players that they should get a lot of sleep, that they should not eat too
much, and that they should do some warm-up exercises before the game.
— or —
Parallel:
The coach told the players that they should get a lot of sleep, not eattoo much, and do some
warm-up exercises before the game.
Example 2
Not Parallel:
The salesman expected that he would present his product at the meeting, that there would
be time for him to show his slide presentation, and that questions would be asked by
prospective buyers. (passive)
Parallel:
The salesman expected that he would present his product at the meeting, that there would
be time for him to show his slide presentation, and that prospective buyers would ask him
questions.
Lists After a Colon
Be sure to keep all the elements in a list in the same form.
Example 1
Not Parallel:
The dictionary can be used to find these: word meanings, pronunciations, correct spellings,
and looking up irregular verbs.
Parallel:
The dictionary can be used to find these: word meanings, pronunciations, correct spellings,
and irregular verbs.
Proofreading Strategies to Try:
 Skim your paper, pausing at the words "and" and "or." Check on each side of these words
to see whether the items joined are parallel. If not, make them parallel.
 If you have several items in a list, put them in a column to see if they are parallel.
  Listen to the sound of the items in a list or the items being compared. Do you hear the
same kinds of sounds? For example, is there a series of "-ing" words beginning each
item? Or do your hear a rhythm being repeated? If something is breaking that rhythm or
repetition of sound, check to see if it needs to be made parallel.
Fragments are incomplete sentences. Usually, fragments are pieces of sentences that have
become disconnected from the main clause. One of the easiest ways to correct them is to
remove the period between the fragment and the main clause. Other kinds of punctuation may
be needed for the newly combined sentence.
Below are some examples with the fragments shown in red. Punctuation and/or words added to
make corrections are highlighted in blue. Notice that the fragment is frequently a dependent
clause or long phrase that follows the main clause.
 Fragment:Purdue offers many majors in engineering. Such as electrical, chemical, and
industrial engineering.
Possible Revision: Purdue offers many majors in engineering, such as electrical,
chemical, and industrial engineering.
 Fragment: Coach Dietz exemplified this behavior by walking off the field in the middle of
a game. Leaving her team at a time when we needed her.
Possible Revision: Coach Dietz exemplified this behavior by walking off the field in the
middle of a game, leaving her team at a time when we needed her.
 Fragment: I need to find a new roommate. Because the one I have now isn't working
out too well.
Possible Revision: I need to find a new roommate because the one I have now isn't
working out too well.
 Fragment: The current city policy on housing is incomplete as it stands. Which is why
we believe the proposed amendments should be passed.
Possible Revision: Because the current city policy on housing is incomplete as it stands,
we believe the proposed amendments should be passed.
You may have noticed that newspaper and magazine journalists often use a dependent clause
as a separate sentence when it follows clearly from the preceding main clause, as in the last
example above. This is a conventional journalistic practice, often used for emphasis.
For academic writing and other more formal writing situations, however, you should avoid such
journalistic fragment sentences.
Some fragments are not clearly pieces of sentences that have been left unattached to the main
clause; they are written as main clauses but lack a subject or main verb.
No main verb
 Fragment: A story with deep thoughts and emotions.
Possible Revisions:
o Direct object: She told a story with deep thoughts and emotions.
o Appositive: Gilman's "The Yellow Wallpaper," a story with deep thoughts and
emotions, has impressed critics for decades.
 Fragment: Toys of all kinds thrown everywhere.
Possible Revisions:
o Complete verb: Toys of all kinds were thrown everywhere.
o Direct object: They found toys of all kinds thrown everywhere.
 Fragment: A record of accomplishment beginning when you were first hired.
Possible Revisions:
o Direct object: I've noticed a record of accomplishment beginning when you were
first hired
o Main verb: A record of accomplishment began when you were first hired.
No Subject
 Fragment: With the ultimate effect of all advertising is to sell the product.
Possible Revisions:
o Remove preposition: The ultimate effect of all advertising is to sell the product.
 Fragment: By paying too much attention to polls can make a political leader
unwilling to propose innovative policies.
Possible Revisions:
o Remove preposition: Paying too much attention to polls can make a political leader
unwilling to propose innovative policies.
 Fragment: For doing freelance work for a competitor got Phil fired.
Possible Revisions:
 o Remove preposition: Doing freelance work for a competitor got Phil fired.
o Rearrange: Phil got fired for doing freelance work for a competitor.
These last three examples of fragments with no subjects are also known as mixed
constructions, that is, sentences constructed out of mixed parts. They start one way (often with
a long prepositional phrase) but end with a regular predicate. Usually the object of the
preposition (often a gerund, as in the last two examples) is intended as the subject of the
sentence, so removing the preposition at the beginning is usually the easiest way to edit such
errors.
If your writing contains lots of short sentences that give it a choppy rhythm, consider these tips.
1. Combine Sentences With Conjunctions:
Join complete sentences, clauses, and phrases with conjunctions:
and, but, or, nor, yet, for, so
Example: Doonesbury cartoons satirize contemporary politics. Readers don't always find this
funny. They demand that newspapers not carry the strip.
Revision: Doonesbury cartoons laugh at contemporary politicians, but readers don't always find
this funny and demand that newspapers not carry the strip.
2. Link Sentences Through Subordination:
Link two related sentences to each other so that one carries the main idea and the other is no
longer a complete sentence (subordination). Use connectors such as the ones listed below to
show the relationship.
after, although, as, as if, because, before, even if, even though, if, if only, rather than, since, that,
though, unless, until, when, where, whereas, wherever, whether, which, while
Example: The campus parking problem is getting worse. The university is not building any new
garages.
Revision: The campus parking problem is getting worse because the university is not building
any new garages.
Example: The US has been highly dependent on foreign oil for many years. Alternate sources of
energy are only now being sought.
Revision: Although the US has been highly dependent on foreign oil for many years, alternate
sources are only now being sought.
Notice in these examples that the location of the clause beginning with the dependent marker
(the connector word) is flexible. This flexibility can be useful in creating varied rhythmic patterns
over the course of a paragraph.
Adding sentence variety to prose can give it life and rhythm. Too many sentences with the same
structure and length can grow monotonous for readers. Varying sentence style and structure can
also reduce repetition and add emphasis. Long sentences work well for incorporating a lot of
information, and short sentences can often maximize crucial points. These general tips may help
add variety to similar sentences.
1. Vary the rhythm by alternating short and long sentences.
Several sentences of the same length can make for bland writing. To enliven paragraphs, write
sentences of different lengths. This will also allow for effective emphasis.
Example:
The Winslow family visited Canada and Alaska last summer to find some native American art. In
Anchorage stores they found some excellent examples of soapstone carvings. But they couldn't
find a dealer selling any of the woven wall hangings they wanted. They were very disappointed
when they left Anchorage empty-handed.
Revision:
The Winslow family visited Canada and Alaska last summer to find some native American art,
such as soapstone carvings and wall hangings. Anchorage stores had many soapstone items
available. Still, they were disappointed to learn that wall hangings, which they had especially
wanted, were difficult to find. Sadly, they left empty-handed.
Example:
Many really good blues guitarists have all had the last name King. They have been named
Freddie King and Albert King and B.B. King. The name King must make a bluesman a really
good bluesman. The bluesmen named King have all been very talented and good guitar players.
The claim that a name can make a guitarist good may not be that far-fetched.
Revision:
What makes a good bluesman? Maybe, just maybe, it's all in a stately name. B.B. King. Freddie
King. Albert King. It's no coincidence that they're the royalty of their genre. When their fingers
dance like court jesters, their guitars gleam like scepters, and their voices bellow like regal
trumpets, they seem almost like nobility. Hearing their music is like walking into the throne room.
They really are kings.
2. Vary sentence openings.
If too many sentences start with the same word, especially The, It, This, or I, prose can grow
tedious for readers, so changing opening words and phrases can be refreshing. Below are
alternative openings for a fairly standard sentence. Notice that different beginnings can alter not
only the structure but also the emphasis of the sentence. They may also require rephrasing in
sentences before or after this one, meaning that one change could lead to an abundance of
sentence variety.
Example:
The biggest coincidence that day happened when David and I ended up sitting next to each
other at the Super Bowl.
Possible Revisions:
 Coincidentally, David and I ended up sitting right next to each other at the Super Bowl.
 In an amazing coincidence, David and I ended up sitting next to each other at the Super
Bowl.
 Sitting next to David at the Super Bowl was a tremendous coincidence.
 But the biggest coincidence that day happened when David and I ended up sitting next to
each other at the Super Bowl.
 When I sat down at the Super Bowl, I realized that, by sheer coincidence, I was directly
next to David.
 By sheer coincidence, I ended up sitting directly next to David at the Super Bowl.
 With over 50,000 fans at the Super Bowl, it took an incredible coincidence for me to end
up sitting right next to David.
 What are the odds that I would have ended up sitting right next to David at the Super
Bowl?
 David and I, without any prior planning, ended up sitting right next to each other at the
Super Bowl.
 Without any prior planning, David and I ended up sitting right next to each other at the
Super Bowl.
 At the crowded Super Bowl, packed with 50,000 screaming fans, David and I ended up
sitting right next to each other by sheer coincidence.
 Though I hadn't made any advance arrangements with David, we ended up sitting right
next to each other at the Super Bowl.
 Many amazing coincidences occurred that day, but nothing topped sitting right next to
David at the Super Bowl.
 Unbelievable, I know, but David and I ended up sitting right next to each other at the
Super Bowl.
 Guided by some bizarre coincidence, David and I ended up sitting right next to each other
at the Super Bowl.
Subordination
Unlike the conjunction and coordination examples above, subordination changes one of the two
sentences so that it becomes dependent upon the other sentence—it is subordinated to the
other sentence. Unlike the conjunctions and coordinators above, subordination words and
clauses do not always go between sentences.
after, although, as, as if, because, before, even if, even though, for, if, if only, rather than, since,
that, though, unless, until, when, where, whereas, wherever, whether, which, while
Example: More students at the college are biking, walking, or carpooling. The price of gasoline
is continuing to rise.

Revision 1: More students at the college are biking, walking, or carpooling because the price of
gasoline is continuing to rise.

Revision 2: Because the price of gasoline is continuing to rise, more students at the college are
biking, walking, or carpooling.
Combining Sentences Exercise
Use the material in the combining sentences pages to revise the sentences below.
Conjunctions

1. The president failed to explain the cause of the crisis. He did not offer any solutions.
2. Akira’s wife was due to give birth to their first child in the next several days. He still worked
overtime.
3. Rekha had an intense headache all morning. She smiled and remained alert throughout the
entire meeting.
4. The last storm to come through the area ripped some of the siding off George’s garage. He
visited the hardware store and invested in storm-proofing materials.
5. Enrollment in the university has been dropping in recent years. Its facilites have been lacking
proper maintenance.

Coordination

1. Plans for renovating downtown into an upscale shopping center were finalized. Discussions
began on budgeting city funds for the project.
2. The nearest supermarket started to carry produce and spices that specifically matched the
diets of many people in the community. Shoppers continued to be lured to the big-box store out
on the highway.
3. The main office has cut our printing and copying budget. We will need to rely more heavily on
e-mail, Skype, and instant messaging.
4. The professor suspected that the student was plagiarizing on the final paper. The student may
have been plagiarizing since the beginning of the semester.
5. Please respond to this e-mail at your earliest convenience, so that I can get started here.
Include your notes as an attachment.

Subordination

1. I had to hand the project over to Max. You didn’t respond to any of my e-mails.
2. Another candidate with more qualifications applies in the next forty-eight hours. You should
get the position without any difficulties.
3. Viktor had prepared and practiced for the presentation thoroughly. The projector died and the
presentation was not successful.
4. Keep calling our customers from last year. You make your sales quota.
5. The instructor copies his lesson directly from the textbook. The students lose interest and
doze off.
The goal of concise writing is to use the most effective words. Concise writing does not always
have the fewest words, but it always uses the strongest ones. Writers often fill sentences with
weak or unnecessary words that can be deleted or replaced. Words and phrases should be
deliberately chosen for the work they are doing. Like bad employees, words that don't
accomplish enough should be fired. When only the most effective words remain, writing will be
far more concise and readable.
This resource contains general conciseness tips followed by very specific strategies for pruning
sentences.
1. Replace several vague words with more powerful and specific words.
Often, writers use several small and ambiguous words to express a concept, wasting energy
expressing ideas better relayed through fewer specific words. As a general rule, more specific
words lead to more concise writing. Because of the variety of nouns, verbs, and adjectives, most
things have a closely corresponding description. Brainstorming or searching a thesaurus can
lead to the word best suited for a specific instance. Notice that the examples below actually
convey more as they drop in word count.
Wordy: The politician talked about several of the merits of after-school programs in his
speech
(14 words)
Concise: The politician touted after-school programs in his speech.
(8 words)
Wordy: Suzie believed but could not confirm that Billy had feelings of affection for her.
(14 words)
Concise: Suzie assumed that Billy adored her.
(6 words)
Wordy: Our Web site has made available many of the things you can usefor making a
decision on the best dentist.
(20 words)
Concise: Our website presents criteria for determining the best dentist.
(9 words)
Wordy: Working as a pupil under someone who develops photos was an experience that
really helped me learn a lot.
(20 words)
Concise: Working as a photo technician's apprentice was an educationalexperience.
(10 words)
2. Interrogate every word in a sentence
Check every word to make sure that it is providing something important and unique to a
sentence. If words are dead weight, they can be deleted or replaced. Other sections in this
handout cover this concept more specifically, but there are some general examples below
containing sentences with words that could be cut.
Wordy: The teacher demonstrated some of the various ways and methods for cutting words
from my essay that I had written for class.
(22 words)
Concise: The teacher demonstrated methods for cutting words from my essay.
(10 words)
Wordy: Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood formed a new band of musicians together in 1969,
giving it the ironic name of Blind Faith because early speculation that was spreading everywhere
about the band suggested that the new musical group would be good enough to rival the earlier
bands that both men had been in, Cream and Traffic, which people had really liked and had
been very popular.
(66 words)
Concise: Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood formed a new band in 1969, ironically naming it Blind
Faith because speculation suggested that the group would rival the musicians’ previous popular
bands, Cream and Traffic.
(32 words)
Wordy: Many have made the wise observation that when a stone is in motion rolling down a hill
or incline that that moving stone is not as likely to be covered all over with the kind of thick green
moss that grows on stationary unmoving things and becomes a nuisance and suggests that
those things haven’t moved in a long time and probably won’t move any time soon.
(67 words)
Concise: A rolling stone gathers no moss.
(6 words)
3. Combine Sentences.
Some information does not require a full sentence, and can easily be inserted into another
sentence without losing any of its value. To get more strategies for sentence combining, see the
handout on Sentence Variety.
Wordy: Ludwig's castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness. By his death, he
had commissioned three castles.
(18 words)
Concise: Ludwig's three castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness.
(11 words)
Wordy: The supposed crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in
extraterrestrial life. This crash is rumored to have occurred in 1947.
(24 words)
Concise: The supposed 1947 crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in
extraterrestrial life.
SHIFTS IN VERB TENSE, VOICE & MOOD:
Verb Tense
After subject-verb agreement, verb tenses are among the most tested rules in the SAT. Let’s
begin by reviewing what a verb is and what its tense signifies.
A verb is one of the main parts of the sentence that indicates activity either through an action, a
happening or a state of being.
And verb tenses describe the time that the action or occurrence took place. Without the tenses,
it would be impossible to know when the event (action) took place.
There are typically 12 tense forms to a verb, which we will look at in the table below (through the
verb ‘drive’ as an example):
But it is important to remember that in the context of the SAT, you don’t need to know the names
of the tenses. All you need to be able to do is to identify them and to understand how they are
used in sentences so you can spot the errors and replace them with the correct forms of the
tense (when needed).
Let’s understand the different forms of the three tenses: past, present and future
Simple Tense
This is the simplest form of the tenses used to describe an action that was completed in the past;
is a daily occurrence or that is currently happening (present); or will happen tomorrow (future).
Here it is important to remember that the simple past tense form is used to describe a completed
action. Here are three examples that use the verb ‘drive’:
He drives the car every day to work (Present).
I drove the truck to the beach last night (Past).
She will drive to the mall tomorrow (Future).
Progressive Tense
This form of verb tense is used to show something that was happening in the past, is happening
at present or will happen for a period of time. Here the tense is reflected by the
past/present/future forms of the helping verb ‘to be’ i.e. was/is/will be which is used along with a
gerund (the -ing form of the main verb).
Note: The past progressive tense refers to an action that remains incomplete.
Here are three more examples:
He was swimming in the river.
He is swimming in the rooftop pool.
He will be swimming in the race tonight.
Perfect Tense
Let’s consider these sentences:
Men have walked the Earth for millennia (Present Perfect).
By the time the sun rose, the frost had evaporated from the trees (Past Perfect).
Two years from now, she will have graduated from high school (Future Perfect).
The present perfect tense is formed with the verbs has/have along with the past participle of the
action verb. It is used to indicate actions that began in the past but are continuing in the
present. While the past perfect verb tense form is used to indicate an action that happened first
in a sentence that features two completed actions. Often (but not always), sentences that take
the present perfect tense feature words such as ‘for’ or ‘since’.
Future perfect tense forms highlight an action that will take place at some point in the future.
Perfect Progressive Tense
In the world of verb tenses, ‘perfect’ signifies the completion of an action and ‘progressive’
signifies an incomplete action. Verb forms in the perfect progressive tenses reflect the time taken
to complete an action that was unfolding.
The verb form is made up of the helping verb ‘to have’, used along with the verb ‘to be’ and
finally the action verb in the progressive tense.
Consider these examples to better understand this verb tense form:
I have been waiting to complete the examination for a year (Present Perfect Progressive).
I had been waiting to complete the examination for a year (Past Perfect Progressive).
I will have been waiting to complete the examination for a year (Future Perfect Progressive).
The present perfect progressive form is used to indicate the relationship of the action to the
present. Sometimes it is also used without a reference to time, in the form of questions relating
to recently completed actions (For instance, ‘Have you been working out?’)
The past perfect progressive form is usually used to highlight the duration of a action that took
place in the past before another action happened.
While the future perfect progressive tense is used to indicate an action in connection with an
event in the future. These tenses form rare, complex sentences.
Verb tense concepts tested in the SAT
Consistency in tense
This is one of the most tested concepts in the SAT. Here all you have to do is to ensure that all
the verbs in the sentence follow the same tense, this means that sentences that begin with a
particular tense must maintain the same throughout, unless the verbs are in different clauses.
See if you can spot the error in the following sentence:
I ate the cake and drinks the tea.
Here the sentence begins in the past tense, with the verb ‘ate’ but suddenly switches to the
present with the verb ‘drinks’. This goes against the rule that verbs in a sentence clause must
follow the same tense. So the correct version will be:
I ate the cake and drank the tea
or
I eat the cake and drink the tea.
The correct version would also depend on the context in which it is placed.
Observe this sentence:
He listened to the song because he wants to sing it later to the audience.
Here the verbs are in different tenses but the sentence is still correct because they are in
different clauses.
2) Gerund Vs. Infinitive
Gerunds (verbs which take the -ing form) and infinitives (verbs which are preceded by the word
‘to’, but not as a proposition) sometimes take the form of nouns. They can be replaced by
infinitives, but not always. Some sentences require that you use either the gerund form or the
infinitive form of the verb. The best way to decide which one to use, when either is underlined in
an SAT question, is to simply see which sounds better.
I want learning Spanish this year.
I want to learn Spanish this year.
Which sentence do you think sounds better? The second sentence, naturally.
3) Choosing the right verb form
a) between the simple past and the present perfect
In some SAT questions, you might have to replace a verb carrying the simple past tense for the
present perfect. Remember, the present perfect tense is used for an action that began in the
past but continues in the present while the simple past tense is used to indicate a completed
action.
If such a verb is underlined as part of the question in the SAT, check what purpose the verb in
the sentence serves.
Observe this sentence:
For the last six months, I went to the gym.
Here the beginning of the sentence does not indicate completion, it seems to indicate that the
action is ongoing. The correct way to write the sentence would be:
For the last six months, I have gone to the gym.
b) between the simple past and the past perfect
Remember, verbs carrying the simple past tense are used to signify completed actions while
verbs carrying the past perfect tense are used to signify the first of two completed actions.
Can you correct the following sentence?
I walked ten miles before I realised I forgot my water bottle
The correct version of the sentence is:
I had walked ten miles before I realised I forgot my water bottle.
The sentence features two completed actions, and so the first action (of walking ten miles) will
take the past perfect tense.

Active and Passive Voice

The verb of a sentence is active when the identity of the subject is known and it is
the subject who is doing the action. The verb is passive when the subject is being acted
upon.

For instance: The kids are playing football.

Here ‘kids’ is the subject performing the action, which is ‘playing football’. The verb is ‘playing’.
We can change sentences in such a way that the subject is being acted upon, the actions is
happening to the subject and so the subject becomes the object.

In the sentence give above, ‘football’ is the object as the action is happening to it.

It can be changed into ‘football is being played by the kids’ where ‘kids’ becomes the object.

But there are sentences such as: The men sleep on the pavement.

Here there is no direct object. Such sentences cannot be flipped into the passive voice like
the ones given above as they contain intransitive verbs (verbs that do not contain a direct
object such as ‘sleep’, ‘live’, or ‘play’).

And so if a sentence contains two or more verbs, both must be given the same voice i.e.
either the active voice or the passive voice.

If there is a sudden shift in voice in a sentence or a paragraph, it can cause confusion.

Let’s observe the following sentences:

a) When Laura finished eating, the plate was put in the sink by her

b) When Laura finished eating, she put the plate in the sink

Which one sounds better? Naturally sentence b) sounds more accurate because both verbs in
the sentence are in the active voice and sound less convoluted.

It is much more effective to use the active voice rather than the passive voice because the
sentences are easier to understand and simply sound better.

The passive voice is typically employed only when the one who is doing the action is not
known or not needed in the context of the sentence.

Let’s observe the following sentence:

Finally, the schools bell rang, signalling the end of lessons

Here it is not known who rang the bell and it is not necessary for the readers to know that, it
does not add value to the sentence.

Sentences like ‘some things are better left unsaid’ are meant to communicate the fact that is
stated rather than understating who is saying those things. These are better written in the
passive voice.

In the SAT, students need to look out for sudden shifts in the passage between the active
voice and the passive voice.

Mood

The mood of the piece reflects the intention and the attitude of the writer in the piece.

There are usually three different kinds of moods:

a) Indicative mood: Here the writer seeks to make a statement, exclaim or ask a question

For Example:

It will rain tomorrow

Will it rain tomorrow?

It rained quite heavily last night!

These three sentences contain an indicative mood because they are making a statement of fact,
inquiring or are expressing astonishment

b) Imperative mood: Here the author is giving an instruction or making a request. The author is
telling the character what to do

For example: Bring me the newspaper from the store

Could you pass her the tomatoes?

c) Subjunctive mood: Here the writer is referring to a hypothetical situation or a possibility.

For example: I wouldn’t have ventured out in the dark if I were you

The management demands that the employees be punctual

Can you observe what is wrong with the following sentence?

If Jack were here with us, he will have enjoyed the weather

The sentence starts with a subjunctive mood (which can be identified by the verb ‘were’) and
shifts to an indicative mood, making a statement of fact.

But the first part is hypothetical, how can the last part suddenly become a statement of fact?

It can be rewritten as:

If Jack were here with us, he would have enjoyed the weather.

Here both the verbs in the sentence, ‘were’ and ‘would’ refer to a hypothetical situation are
accurate.

Now examine the following sentence:

Eat early, but would you be eating a balanced meal?

Can you spot the error?

Here the sentence begins with an imperative mood, issuing a command but then shifts into a
question which reflects an indicative mood.

You can rewrite it this way:

Eat early and eat a balanced meal

Avoiding Shifts
Writers should keep the elements in a sentence consistent, avoiding any unnecessary
changes in tense, voice, mood, person, number, and discourse. Such unnecessary
changes, or "shifts," may make reading difficult and obscure the sentence's meaning
for the reader.

Avoid shifts in
1. verb tense
Except for special cases where the intended meaning requires a change in
tense, maintain the same tense within a sentence.
 Error:- shift in verb tense

The sentence above begins in the past tense but shifts, without reason, to the
present tense.

Error repaired

2. voice
The voice of a verb may be either active or passive in a sentence. When a
sentence contains two or more verbs, both verbs should maintain the same voice.

Error - shift in voice

The sentence above begins in active voice but shifts without reason to passive
voice.

Error repaired
 Example - emphasis on subject requires shift in voice

Here, the use of passive allows the sentence to focus on the subject.

3. mood

Shifts in mood often occur with directions, where the mood shifts
from indicative to imperative or from imperative to indicative.

Error - shift in mood

Error repaired

4. person
English has three "persons" or points of view:
  first person - the speaker
I, me, my, mine, we, us, our, ours

 second person - the person spoken to

you, your, yours

 third person - the person or thing spoken about

he, him, his, she, her, hers, it, its, they, them, their

Unless the meaning of a sentence clearly requires a change, keep person

consistent within a sentence.

Shifts in person usually occur with changes from the third to the second person
point of view.

Error - shift in person

Error repaired

If the meaning of a sentence clearly requires a change, then you may change
person as needed.

Example requiring a change in person

 Since both I and the others are doing something in the above sentence, the shift in
person is justified.

5. number
Use singular pronouns to refer to singular antecedents; use plural pronouns to refer
to plural antecedents.

Error - shift in number

Error repaired

6.discourse
There are two ways to recount someone's words. Each way requires its own
format.

A direct quotation gives the exact words of a speaker, surrounding the words
with quotation marks.

Example

An indirect quotation paraphrases the speaker's words and does not place them
inside quotation marks. Even if the indirect quotation paraphrases a question, the
sentence ends with a period.

Example
 Note the difference in the formats above:

A shift in discourse occurs when, within a sentence, the writer uses the format of
one form and shifts some part to the format of the other.

Example - shift in discourse

Error repaired with indirect discourse

Error repaired with direct discourse

7. sentence construction
A shift in sentence construction occurs when words or phrases intended for one
purpose are used for another, upsetting the natural flow of the sentence. Below are
examples of three frequent errors that shift sentence construction. Below each error
is an example showing one or more ways to repair the error.

Error -prepositional phrase used as subject

Correct

Error - faulty subject

Correct
Using is because, is where, or is when in a sentence often creates a construction
shift. Avoid this phrasing.

Error - is because

Correct

Error - is where

Correct

Error - is when

Correct