Feminism and Men: The Age Old Tale

It’s been a good two days. I started work at Bosch Limited as an intern
yesterday and weirdly enough, I didn’t feel like killing myself in a work
environment, haha. I met some really kind people and the office was just
beautiful. Lunch was free, so that’s a plus AND there’s coffee available at all
times. Life couldn’t get better. Today there was a bandh, so I chose to stay
home and work. I did some research for a case we started working on, and some
progress has been made thankfully (I’m a law student in her final year, if that
hasn’t been mentioned already.), and now that that stuff is done, I thought to sit
down and write about something which I think needs some real addressing,
given how strongly I feel about it:

The role of men in the feminist movement.

Now, this topic of discussion has raised quite a lot of debate in the past, and
there are so many things that I intend on addressing in relation to it. Why men
should be a part of feminism, why they think feminism is not a substantial
movement, why the role of men is so scarcely seen, etc. There’s just a lot to be
discussed.

If I were to start somewhere, I’d say that being a feminist entails some
responsibility. One cannot be a “silent feminist”. I mean, you cannot just sit
warmly in your houses and know, deep down, that you’re a feminist. No, this
doesn’t mean that you go picking a fight with every stupid person there is, but
what it does mean is that you stand up, when and if needed, for a cause you
know involves human rights. Yes, I said human, and not just woman. Feminism
is a movement for everyone, and it is for all. (Gender, as well as sexuality is a
spectrum; another topic for another time) This movement requires a person to
be empathetic, not merely sympathetic. You need to feel for the cause that
requires fighting for, which is why any movement for that matter would have a
following. And this is precisely what I see lacking in some, if not all men.
So, if I were to mention a few things I’ve observed in the course of my
“feminist expedition”, if you will, they can be listed out as follows:

1. A lot of men tend to have an issue with the term “feminism” in itself.
2. A lot of these men have a hard time understanding the term.
3. These men also believe that feminists hate men.
4. Even though they believe in the ideals of feminism, they have a hard time
identifying themselves as a feminist.
Now, to make my stance on the same more authoritative, I googled the term,
and this is what came up:
“Feminism is the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of
the sexes.”
Now I’m going to do what all law-students are taught to do. We look at the
definitions listed out in a particular provision of law, and analyse it objectively.
In this particular one, it says it is the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground
of equality of the sexes.

So two things:

1. It advocates for the rights of women, yes. Totally and completely granted
and;

2. It does so, on the ground of equality of sexes.

So whoever is reading this, must understand this much: Feminism CANNOT be

called anything besides feminism. It is a movement which ensures that women,
being the oppressed class, are the subject of the movement because it is a pre-
established and understood notion that women are the weaker sex in terms of
the rights and privileges they have. Since time immemorial, women have been
beaten to the ground and are berated to no end, deprived of the very basic right
to be equal to a man; and just as there exist movements for class acts of
oppression like slavery, and racism, similarly one exists for women. And let me
tell you, not just by the virtue of my being a woman, that it is completely and
totally okay. It’s okay that the term isn’t “equalist” instead of “feminist”. It’s
okay that it isn’t called “humanism” instead of “feminism”. And as the many
Tumblr posts say, women on an everyday basis are subjected to being a part of a
human group by the name “mankind”, you don’t see us whining about it now,
do you? It isn’t wrong for a movement to help liberate and bring an oppressed
class to an status of equilibrium with that of men, and it’s sad that this even
needs explaining. This being the case, it’s time people understand that feminism
isn’t here to threaten men. Nothing, besides the systematic oppression against
women should threaten men; and hopefully the negative notion attached to this
word will cease to exist one day.

On the ground of equality of sexes: We fight for women’s rights, on the ground
of equality of sexes. Honestly, this definition couldn’t be clearer. It means, that
this movement aims to ensure equality between men and women, and that is the
focus. No, we aren’t here to overthrow men and get in power. We don’t aim to
become a matriarchy. We have no interest in being the dominant sex in power.
What we want is equal rights. We want what men have: The freedom to walk
around at night without being afraid to be raped, the freedom to do, act, say how
you feel without worrying that you won’t be allowed to because you’re a
woman; the freedom to work and earn your own living without being asked a
thousand times why we aren’t married with kids, and for the love of God, the
freedom to choose to have, or not have kids. Let. Us. Be. Kindly. Geez.
Feminism isn’t a battle of the sexes. More rights for women, doesn’t mean no
rights for men, and it sure as hell doesn’t mean that feminists hate men. People
are so caught up trying to argue what the intentions of feminists are, that we
forget what the goal really is, here. We need men on our side. We need you to
fight for us because all hands need to be on deck if we intend to change the
world. When you see injustice happening, feel, guys. When you see animals
being slaughtered, everyone is up in arms about the injustice, as you should be.
And when the women in your country are raped, killed, and berated and their
rights are constantly being decided and argued over by courts and parliaments
by a bunch of men who neither know, nor understand what women lack in
society, somehow all of this supposed anger diminishes, and why the hell is
that? These are your women. Women of your country, nation, community,
class, and whatever affiliation you want to associate yourself to. Your mother,
sister and aunts and nieces shouldn’t be why you fight for a woman. You
shouldn’t stand up only for the girls who are your friends. Stand up for all of
these women because they are people. Build them up to the point where they no
longer need any help being strong. And when shit goes down, feel for it, as you
would for any other form of injustice.
The problem is, and probably always will be, that you think this movement isn’t
about you. You believe that it has nothing to do with you, which is why men
tend to feel isolated from it, or like we’re moving against you.

Feminism has every bit to do with the rights of men, as it does with women. It
advocates working together, as opposed to working against each other. You are
a human, and so are women who are the subject of this movement. We all have
it in ourselves to fight for a cause that isn’t about us. We’re all on this planet,
and in this together. Do you need to be a cow to believe in animal rights? Do
you need to be a slave to know that slavery is a social evil?

You do not need to be a woman to be a feminist. What you need, is a sense of

understanding of what it is, and the mindset to want to bring about a change.
Being a feminist doesn’t make you any less of a man. Talk to your friends, who
listen to you. Make them understand what it’s about. Tell them that phrases
“you throw like a girl” and “stop being a pussy” aren’t shameful to you,
anymore. Tell them that this shit isn’t cool anymore, because it really fucking
isn’t. Make them understand that men are privileged by the virtue of being men.
It means you are in a higher position of freedom because society has placed you
on a pedestal, and not women. Challenge this privilege, everyday and question
why it exists. A deep sense of introspection goes into this, to understand it; but
it isn’t impossible. But introspect, because it is imperative you do. Remember
most importantly, that feminism recognizes and detests this privilege; but it
doesn’t mean that we’re saying your lives are cakewalk. It means that if your
life is challenging and like mindnumbing hell, it isn’t because you’re a woman.
And we can’t say the same.

All of this needs to be done because every single person on the planet is a
victim to patriarchy. Patriarchy has dictated our lives for far too long, and
believe you me, every man is better off, involving themselves in this movement
because we oppose every toxic notion of masculinity that exists in society. Dear
men: Please hear me when I say that feminism fights for you, too. That burning
pit in your stomach which makes you feel like less of a man because you cried
one night in your room alone, or because you were told you aren’t muscular
enough, or you feel like the entire burden of being the breadwinner in your
family is only upon you, well we shut that shit down. Men aren’t sex-obsessed
and slaves to their carnal urges. They are people, just like any other. Feminism
teaches us that. No, you don’t have to conform to the idea of being a “real man”
and “man-ing up” and going at each other’s throats to show how masculine you
are, and these are evils which patriarchy and misogyny brought about. It’s
unfortunate, but feminism fights this. Whether you believe it or not, feminism
caters to all. The definition of ‘masculine’ is what you want it to be. Not pre-
conceived toxic notions, and stereotypes set by impossible and demeaning
standards of society. You can wear a pink shirt, makeup and wax off all the hair
on your body if that’s what you choose, and still be a man. You can grow all the
hair, be single, live alone and hermit your life away at a desk in an office, and
still be a woman if that’s what you choose. Feminism is pro-choice, always.
And we intend to decimate toxic notions of masculinity and sexuality that
repress individuals. A lack of education on what feminism is, leads to
misconceptions. Please, to the men reading this, I implore you. Read. Read as
much as you can. Listen to the words of Michelle Obama, and watch
documentaries about how lives are ruined everyday, and how many of these
feminism has saved. Watch how the world has moved forward, and liberated so
many lives. Watch how men and women in different nations stand together to
fight for a cause that could possibly lead to a revolution. Why does #metoo
exist? What are these insane women, as you all think, on about? Learn. Learn
about how feminism can benefit both men and women. How you don’t have to
deal with struggles alone, how we are willing to fight for you. In a world where
patriarchy dictates and crushes the lives of men, feminism comes in the form of
our saviour and gives you a home like no other.
From here on out, I’m willing to take up requests for anything you wanna read.
Anything in your lives you feel strongly for, my views on a certain issues or
something you think is worth writing about, I shall do so.

Let’s stand together, and stop competing for first place. The sooner this world
and the men in it understand that the only winner is oppression, and patriarchy;
and that there truly exists no first place, the better it is for all. It’s time men
identify themselves as feminists. It isn’t a competition between who’s gone
through more, or which sex has it better. We’re all screwed at the end of the
day, whether you know it or not.

Don’t ever, even for one second believe that feminism doesn’t save the lives of
millions, everyday. Because it sure as hell saved mine.

Anyway. That’s all for now.

AK