Script:

Mrs. Mathews’s Room REAL WORLD

-Student is doing presentations in Mr. O’s room but cannot perform it correctly-

STUDENT:

“Gamma, alpha, and beta radiation are the building blocks of the universe.”

MS. Mathews

“My God, this has gone on too long. Despite all the lectures, all the lessons, you still barely
understand radioactive decay”

STUDENT

“I’m sorry Mrs. Mathews, I’ve tried to study and watch Hank Green’s videos, but I just don’t get
it. Is there any way that I can finally understand this?”

MS. Mathews

“There is one way, but it is highly dangerous.”

STUDENT

“Tell me! I desperately need to know the material!”

MRS. Mathews

“Fine.”

-Mrs. Mathews puts on a weird looking hat with an eye in its center.-

MRS. Mathews

“Eta epsilon lambda pi!” *Claps hands together*

-The screen goes white and the video transitions to the South Park world. The camera is closed
in on the student’s eyes which begin the shot closed, but slowly open.-

STUDENT
 “Oh my God! Where am I?”

-The door to the lab opens and Jesus peeks his head into the door.-

JESUS

“Hello student. It seems like Virginia has sent you to me to be educated.”

STUDENT

“Y-y-yes.”

JESUS

“Do not worry my boy, I do not bite.”

-MC Dub breaks through the window and starts to rap-

MC DUB

“Huh, there’s three types of major

Decay I know em better than the tracks
From DK
Might be scary
But don’t be wary
The atoms just break down all casual like Lary
That’s right
You can’t tell now
When they gon’ break down”

-Jesus freaks out and shoots a laser beam at MC Dub. MC Dub falls to the floor and starts to
turn into a lump of (lead? uranium?). The student runs up to MC Dub-

STUDENT

“No! MC Dub! First Pac, second Biggie, now MC Dub! (Idk if we should keep the second
sentence)”

JESUS

“Damn my poor reaction time! But let this be an opportunity for learning my
friend. Radioactive Decay is the spontaneous breakdown of atoms which
results in a different element. When radioactive isotopes change to become
stable, it is called transmutation. It will continue to transmute until the
isotope is stabilize. There are three main types, Alpha, Beta, and Gamma.”

MC DUB

“Waaait. Before I head off to the Freshman STEM class, let me drop a few more bars.”

(To “Buggin” by a Tribe Called Quest)

“My name is MC Dub and I’m here to say

There are three types of particle decay
These are the three so let me tell ya
They’re the beta gamma and the alpha.
The alpha occurs in heavy nuclei
When its unstable just like Trippie’s rhymes
A single alpha particle is removed
Leaving the nucleus stable and smooth
I leave the next to my homie J
So young student I hope you find that cool.”

-MC Dub becomes completely transformed into the rock-

STUDENT

“What just happened?”

JESUS

“MC Dub has gone off to rap for another STEM class, he will rematerialize
in a few days or so.”

STUDENT

“Wow.”

JESUS

“Now, let’s continue. Beta Decay occurs when the neutron to proton ratio in
the nucleus of an atom is unstable. In order to correct this, the nucleus
uses two different forms of beta decay. In both forms, a neutron is
converted into an electron. In beta-minus decay, an electron and an
 electron antineutrino is produced and in beta-plus decay, an electron and
an electron neutrino is produced.
”

STUDENT

“Wasn’t there a third?”

JESUS

“Ah yes, gamma emission. But be wary, for it is quite dangerous, especially
for a student like you. Gamma Emission is where high energy photons are
emitted by the nucleus during Radioactive Decay or Fission. The nucleus is
going from an excited state to a ground state. This is the kind of radiation
emitted by solar flares, and it is used for treating cancer, sterilization, and
diagnosing medical conditions.”

STUDENT

“Wow! I think I understand it all now! The α decay half lives for the isotopes of Pb
(Z=82) nuclei in the range 178≤A≤220
have been studied systematically within the Coulomb and proximity potential model (CPPM)
and also within CPPM with modified deformation dependent assault frequency.”

(https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0375947414006393) PUT UP MASSIVE

DISCLAIMER IN EDITING THAT WE DID NOT WRITE THIS.

JESUS

“Exactly! As a reward, I’d like to show you an example of gamma emission

in real life!”

STUDENT

“Okay!”

-Jesus and the Student stand on a grassy field and Jesus moves his arms around, causing the
Sun to expand. Fire consumes the sky, the screen goes white then fades to black. White text
appears “The student would go on to get a 3.0 on the comprehension scale.” Credits then roll-