Social Intelligence - Introduction

With the advent of 20th century,

people started believing in the fact
that there are no two individuals who
are born exactly identical. When we
say “identical”, it means both physical
features and thought process. There
was a time when people used to tell
their children to “be like” their idol
who could be their favorite player or
athlete. However, now it has been
universally accepted that asking
someone to be somebody else is not
only is an unrealistic and impractical
demand, but also is a disastrous
practice to follow, especially for
children, as it stunts mental growth
and creative thinking in people.

Two individuals are born distinct from

each other, and are different in their
ways of thinking and interpreting the
world. Asking them to be someone
else could prevent the growth of their
own distinct personality. While this
factor of humans to be born unique
and different gives us the wide variety
of personality traits and approaches, it
is the same factor that is the reason
behind difference of opinions.

Social Intelligence Introduction

Even with our difference of opinions
and unique ways of looking at
problems, we cannot deny the fact
that we are all social beings and we
have to interact with others around.
We need to grow and relate to others
for growth, knowledge, awareness,
and survival. This process of
interacting with different people
teaches us the essential skill of
adaptation. We learn to make
adjustments in our lifestyle by relating
to other people. We need to adapt
constantly under various situations to
sustain and maintain our
relationships. Our self-confidence,
self-esteem, and self-awareness are
all influenced by our interactions with
other people.

What is Social Intelligence?

Social intelligence can be defined as
the human ability of decoding the
happenings of the world and
responding to it likewise. This ability
is exclusive to humans and
distinguishes us from the rest of
beings in the animal kingdom.

Social Intelligence is also the

capability to act wisely while
maintaining human relations. It is
markedly different from just
intelligence, unlike what people used
to think earlier. Over the years, it has
been observed that many
exceptionally intelligent people
struggle a lot while maintaining a
social life.

An immediate example that springs to

the mind is that of Kim Peek, whose
life had inspired the hit movie Rain
Man. Peek had an exceptionally sharp
memory that allowed him to literally
scan through books reading two
pages at a time, with his left eye
reading the left page and the right eye
going through the right page
simultaneously. This technique
allowed him to browse through books
at incredible speeds and what he read,
he remembered permanently. Last
checked, he was about to recall
paragraphs from over 12,000 books.
However, he was socially inept and
avoided human interaction for a major
part of his life. His communication
was, for the most part, limited to his
father.

What is Social Intelligence

Examples such as these prove that
even exceptionally intelligent people
need not have the same levels of
social intelligence too. Social
Intelligence is different from
academic ability and signifies the
talent of getting along with other
people, as compared to solving
equations and having well-defined
learning mental facilities. As per the
recent definition, Social Intelligence is
an individual’s collection of knowledge
and facts about the outside world.
This can be influenced by factors like
self-confidence, and a desire to meet
new people.

Types of Intelligence
According to experts, there are three
types of intelligences −

Abstract Intelligence − It is the ability

of applying knowledge in complex
problem-solving by seeing the
problem as a whole as opposed to
checking only the individual,
constituent parts. This is about
understanding the non-verbal ideas
and expressing them verbally. They
are assessed as a part of Intelligence
Testing.
Mechanical Intelligence − It is the skill
to understand the functioning of
mechanisms and processes.
Engineers and scientists have a
typically high level of mechanical
intelligence that enables them to
understand how a machine works or
what would make a specific machine
work.

Social Intelligence − This kind of

intelligence is found in successful
managers and marketing people. They
know how to find their own in a group
of people and they are always ready
with proper responses to every query.
In other words, they know how to be
the people’s person.

Social Intelligence is also known as

interpersonal intelligence because it
is also the study of an individual’s
ability to notice the distinctions
between him and other people. As per
this concept, a person’s own unique
personality is a product of the
person’s difference in knowledge on
different areas as well as the level of
social interactions he has with the
people in his surroundings.

Importance of Social Intelligence

Industry experts have confirmed that
thousands of employees have recently
lost their jobs due to their lack of
social incompetence. Earlier, talented
people thought they only have to be
good at their jobs to guarantee their
place in a company. However, the
recent change in business approach
has made all these employees rethink
their style of working. They now
realize that they can’t be employees in
desk-jobs, and have to start taking a
larger interest and part in the
improvement and growth of the
organization.

Technology has made people self-

centered, in the sense that people
might be interacting with people
online happily, but the same people
will be ignoring those sitting beside
them. This boundary that people have
drawn around them makes them look
isolated and uninterested in any real-
world communication, making the
lack of human communication and
relationships a pressing problem of
our times.

It is no surprise then that people

having better social skills have more
friends, are in more relationships, and
know how to nurture a relationship.
This leads them to have successful
careers and generally happier lives.

Social Intelligence Importance

We live in a society and come in
contact with people with different
thoughts and personalities every day.
While meeting these people with
different social and psychological
characteristics, we experience
happiness, sorrow,
misunderstandings, agreements,
quarrels, and other different
emotions. If we don’t know how to
handle these feelings, we will tend to
avoid those people who make us feel
uncomfortable. That in turn, will make
us appear unfriendly to those people,
many of whom could be important
people in our lives.

Social Intelligence - Applying

EQ and IQ
We are all familiar with that one
employee whom we know as a really
talented and hardworking who will
never get promoted. We know that he
is intelligent but something tells us
that he will never be a manager. Those
qualities that we think are missing in
him are called social skills. These are
the skills or traits that have nothing to
do with someone’s individual
intelligence but everything to do with
their success.

Psychologists have started terming

this as Emotional Quotient (EQ) and
frequently compare its role in the
improvement of human beings, with
respect to Intelligence Quotient (IQ).
According to them, while a person’s IQ
tells us his levels of intelligence and
information-processing speed, it’s a
person’s EQ that puts him in control of
his feelings and teaches him to handle
complex situations. It has become a
wide practice to use EQ as an
evaluation tool for job applicants
because companies know that simply
hiring people based on their talent and
skills only will not get them
employees who will understand the
working culture of the company.

EQ and IQ
Social Intelligence teaches people the
skills of addressing individual
differences positively, instead of
avoiding them and running away from
them. In large organizations,
processes will cease to function
properly if people started having
issues while working with one
another. Effective conflict resolution,
successful negotiation and enhancing
personal and professional
relationships are all the foremost
objectives of Social Intelligence.

Social Intelligence makes us more

adaptive to our social environment
and be flexible as per the needs of the
people in our surroundings. Being
flexible means understanding the
issues the other person is facing and
seeing if it’s possible to make any
change in your schedule so that you
benefit, while being in total command
over the choice you are going to
make. This is different from passively
agreeing to others’ whims, where you
don’t have any control over the actins
you are partaking in. Being flexible
increases your understanding power
and helps you develop smooth and
productive working relationships with
co-workers.

Social Intelligence in Zappos

A good example of companies
practicing Social Intelligence is
Zappos, an online shoe and footwear
apparel shopping site. As Tony Hsieh,
the CEO of Zappos.com would tell
you, "If you get the culture right, then
most of the other stuff, like great
customer service or building a brand
will just happen naturally." The
company has internalized ten core
values that they say, define the
working culture at Zappos.com.
Interestingly, it’s not the CEO, but the
employees themselves who decide
what the company’s culture should be
and how it should evolve. The
managers at Zappos.com strive
constantly to deliver a working
environment for their employees that
gives them ample freedom and space.
According to Hsieh, the company
selects candidates for jobs based on
how much they can formalize the
company’s culture. He says, “We’ve
actually passed on a lot of really
talented people that we know would
make an impact to our top or bottom
line, but if you know they’re not a
culture fit we won’t hire them.”

There are cases of people working

with Zappos.com who were fired even
if they were doing their jobs perfectly
if they were found to have not worked
as per the company’s culture. The
company’s ten core values are seen in
effect in everything the company
does. Likewise, he explains the
company will fire people even if
they’re doing their job perfectly if
they’re bad for the culture.

Zappos Family has ten core values to

more clearly define what exactly the
Zappos Family culture is. They are −

Deliver Wow through Service

Embrace and Drive Change
Create Fun and a Little Weirdness
Be Adventurous, Creative, and Open-
Minded
Pursue Growth and Learning
Build Open and Honest Relationships
with Communication
Build a Positive Team and Family
Spirit
Do More with Less
Be Passionate and Determined
Be Humble
If you observe closely, you will realize
that the qualities the people at
Zappos.com are actually formalizing
in their company are all those that
enhance a person’s Social
Intelligence. The reason this is so
important in their organization is
because they have seen that people
with a well-developed EQ are more
successful at the workplace.

People with high social intelligence

understand the emotions of other
people and are also able to control
their own emotional responses to
these situations. They can know why
people behave the way they do. They
understand different points of view
and know how to respond to
conflicting situations with calmness
and composure. These qualities make
a person an ideal employee and this
why people who compete for jobs
realize that social intelligence cannot
be taken for granted. It brings balance
and a sense of perspective in one’s
life and thus, is very essential to the
growth of individuals.

Social Intelligence in Zappos

What would be the benefit of
improving the social intelligence of
employees in an organization?
Sample this. After integrating a six-
month training process called
“Emotional Intelligence for New
Managers” to their training program,
FedEx reported an 8-11% increase in
core leadership competencies. Over
half the participants have shown very
large (10-50%) improvements in their
emotional intelligence skills, like
leadership abilities. 72% of the
program participants are exhibiting
tremendous improvement in their
decision making skills, over 60%
report a better quality of life and 58%
show much-improved decision-
making skills.

Socially Intelligent People

Daniel Goleman has stated in his book
“Social Intelligence” that the worst
side of human nature is the toxic form
it can take by just being around the
wrong person at the wrong time. This
extremely popular book was
influential in bringing a sea of change
in the way companies viewed the
roles of employees in the company.

Employees were earlier treated and

looked as service-providers, however,
now the employees are treated like an
organization’s key assets. These
changes have come due to the
companies’ adopting the applications
of Social Intelligence in their day-to-
day lives in workplace.

According to SI experts, no two

humans have an identical
interpretation of the same word. The
word ‘car’ might bring the mental
image of a Barracuda for someone,
while someone else could imagine an
Aston Martin. Human beings respond
to words through the inputs they get
and their own sensibilities.
In many situations, the messages are
sent via postures, movements,
gestures, facial expressions and tone
of voice. For example, if you were to
walk into a conference room where a
meeting is on the way, you can easily
be able to figure out who the
influential people are and who are the
subordinates by simply observing
their way of sitting, the way people
respond to them, the way someone
stands or maintains eye contact, etc.

Socially Intelligent People1

The manner in which a person can
influence others through his physical
appearance, mood, body language,
even the space he occupies in the
room has a bearing upon the others
and are clues to the way the person
desires to be talked to, listened to, and
respected.

Many tend to believe that only good

looks and good clothes are sufficient
to send a suitable message across,
however the physicality of a person
bears huge significance on the way he
portrays emotions of friendliness,
effectiveness, assurance, kindness
and empathy. They need to project an
inviting personality that dispels the
initial hiccups in the mind of a person
while approaching them.

When people sense hostility or are

themselves unwilling to accept a
decision, they start sending subtle,
sometimes obvious, signals through
their body language. These signals
are found to be in direct conflict to the
put-on neutrality they try to portray in
their speech. People are quick to
observe if a person has a salesman
smile, i.e. insincere smile where he is
trying to be too friendly, as opposed to
the normal behavior.

Putting it differently, you could say

that the person will give off the air of
not being authentic. Authenticity is
different from being merely honest
and true. An authentic person is
someone who also portrays genuine
emotions for people and wants to
really help others. Just having a good
smile and good personality is not
sufficient if a person is not authentic.
Therefore, a person who has good
social skills might not be able to
impress upon people if he is not
socially intelligent.
Socially Intelligent People2
Socially intelligent people also know
the difference between people who
are genuinely hurt, and those who are
looking for an excuse to make you
feel bad for hurting them. These
people have low self-esteem and love
playing the victim card. They believe
that by complimenting others, they
degrade themselves, hence they enjoy
making people fall for their guilt trap.
For example, if you confront these
people on their poor performance,
then these kind of people will often
come up with a left-handed comment
like, “how could you say that after all
that I have been through in my life
recently?”, clearly trying to attach their
issues in family life to their drop in
productivity at the workplace.
A socially intelligent person knows
that empathizing with them is just
feeding to their negative self-esteem,
hence he will steer clear of getting too
involved in giving suggestions to
them. On the contrary, he will stick to
the point and send polite reminders
about the work that needs to be done.

Body Language Worksheet

This is an interesting activity to
organize in your company, especially
if you are working in a diverse
workplace. Try to get as many people
from different backgrounds, countries,
races and social circles as possible.
Arrange them to sit in a circle where
they can all see one another. Now,
give them a printout of this worksheet
and ask them to answer the questions
−

S.I. Non-verbal Actions

Interpretations
1. Smiling
2. Smiling with raised eyebrows
3. Rolling eyes with smiling
4. Rolling eyes without smiling
5. Shrugging shoulders while
answering a question
6. Shrugging shoulders while asking
a question
7. Stretching your arms sideways
while speaking
8. Looking down while saying
something
9. Hand held up with palm facing
you
10. Hands with palm facing down
while explaining
11. Waving to someone
12. Tapping someone on the
shoulders
13. Holding someone’s hand
14. Standing close to someone
15. Winking at a friend
16. Crossing arms while taking
feedback
17. Shaking hands without a firm
grip
18. Yawning while listening to
someone
19. Drumming table with fingers,
waiting for lunch
20. Placing hand over mouth on
hearing something
21. Swinging feet and tapping feet
to music
22. Crossing legs while in a meeting

23. Nodding the head up and down

while listening
24. Turning the head side to side
while listening
25. Whistling while walking alone
26. Clapping on listening to
something
27. Scratching your head when
asked a question
28. Showing an outstretched palm to
a speeding car
29. Wagging one foot while keeping
it on a knee
30. Raising hand inside a classroom

31. Looking elsewhere when

someone talks to you
32. Keeping hands in your pocket
while talking
33. Rubbing the neck when asked
about something
34. Cracking fingers while at work
35. Looking around waiting in the
reception area
Social Intelligence - Emotional
Quotient
When the concept of Emotional
Intelligence was first introduced to a
wide audience in 1995, it quickly
dawned upon the companies that the
qualities that were traditionally
associated with leadership, like
intelligence, determination, and being
well-informed were not sufficient in
order to succeed in the fast-changing
business scenario.

People started realizing that only

Intelligence Quotient is not sufficient
to run a business successfully. In
order to have a sustainable business,
it’s always very important to keep
interacting with your customers. In
other words, businesses woke up to
the concept of Emotional Quotient.

Emotional Quotient
Experts identified a few core
competencies that enhanced an
individual’s Emotional Quotient and
his aptitude for successful business.
They are as follows −

Self-awareness − This is the ability to

recognize your feelings and
understand your emotional reactions,
and how they influence your behavior
and performance. It helps people get
an idea of the perception they create
in other people’s minds. A self-aware
person is both confident of his own
abilities and mindful of his current
limitations.

Handling emotions − People who

know how to manage their feelings
can keep calm under tremendous
emotional pressure. This is essential
to develop as a responsible employee
who doesn’t shirk away from being
held accountable for the team’s
performance. This prevents them
from taking hasty decisions which
they might regret later.

Self-motivation − The ability to

motivate yourself in face of adversity
is the hallmark of a perseverant
individual. People who can put a
positive spin on their negative
emotions and end up as performers
are prized in organizations.

Empathy − Empathy is the quality of

putting yourself in other people’s
shoes and knowing where the shoe
pinches. Understanding the problems
of others by thinking of them as your
own will not only help you in earning
their respect but also taking a just
decision.

Resilience − In today’s world,

resilience is a very important quality
to have. Someone who can beat all
the odds through his perseverance is
a winner all the way. A resilient person
can adapt to a changing environment
and have a broad vision to understand
the trends that are going to be
followed.

In a recent study, it was concluded

that leaders who use their Emotional
Quotient to foster a sense of caring
and engagement with their teams
deliver significant bottom-line results.
Teams with higher engagement are −

50% more likely to have lower

turnover (work gets done faster)
56% more likely to have higher-than-
average customer loyalty
38% more likely to have above-
average productivity
27% more likely to report higher
profitability
Emotional Quotient-Questionnaire
This self-assessment questionnaire is
designed to engage you in finding out
your key emotional intelligence traits
and your Emotional Quotient. Try to
stay as emotionally neutral as
possible while you attempt this
questionnaire; your selection of
answers will change depending on the
mood you are in while answering the
questions.
Score 1 = Statement never applies to
you.

Score 3 = Statement sometimes

apples to you.

Score 5 = Statement always applies to

you.

S.I. Statements to Consider 1 2

3 4 5
1. I immediately know when I
become angry.
2. I can handle bad situations fast.

3. I am self-motivating.
4. I see the problem someone faces
from his point of view.
5. I have good listening skills.
6. I know when I am in a good mood.

7. I have a control on my emotions.

8. I can prioritize between a set of

important tasks.
9. I easily empathize with others
when I listen to their issues.

10. I always let other complete their

sentences before I speak.
11. I like knowing new people and
making new friends.
12. I realize when I am feeling
stress.
13. Others find it difficult to know
my mood.
14. I am good at meeting deadlines.

15. I immediately know when

someone is unhappy with me.
16. I am good at meeting with
different type of people.
17. I can recognize my emotions.

18. I rarely lose my temper when

dealing with difficult people.

19. I always utilize time.

20. I can tell when people are not
getting along well.
21. I like interacting with people and
talking to them.
22. I can know when and why I am
anxious.
23. I don’t get annoyed with difficult
people.
24. I do not give ambiguous
messages or signals.
25. I realize when people start being
unreasonable with me.
26. I realize when I am being
difficult.
27. I can change my mood when I
want to.
28. I always do the most difficult
work first.
29. I realize that people will have
different working styles.
30. I need interesting colleagues to
make my job interesting.
31. I always like to be aware of my
emotions.
32. I don’t let stressful situations
affect me or my work.
33. I like bigger rewards later
compared to small, instant ones.

34. I realize immediately if I am

being unreasonable.
35. I like to ask questions to people
to understand them.
36. I speak out if someone has
upset or annoyed me.
37. I rarely worry about life or work.

38. I believe in instant action.

39. I realize the reasons behind my

action hurting people.
40. I look at working with difficult
people as a challenge.
41. I can quickly control and manage
my anger.
42. I can suppress my emotions as
per my will.
43. I can motivate myself for better
things while struggling.
44. I can understand things people
are trying to tell me.
45. I am good at ending differences
with others.
46. I can describe things that make
me happy.
47. Others don’t realize how I am
feeling.
48. Getting motivated has made me
successful.
49. I always know the reason that
started the disagreement.
50. I build strong relationships with
those I work with.
In the following table, you need to put
down the scores you gave yourself
against that specific question number.
For example, if the score you gave in
response to statement number 1 was
5, then write 5 beside 1. Complete the
table and tally the totals for each
column at the end of the table.

Self-awareness Handling Emotions

Self-motivation Using Empathy
Practicing Resilience
Scores Scores Scores Scores
Scores
1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30
31 32 33 34 35
36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45
46 47 48 49 50
Total

Total

Total

Total

Total
If score between 35-50 This area is
your strength

If score between 18-34 You need to

improve in this area.

If score between 0-17 You need to

give immediate attention to this.

High Social Intelligence

According to Eric Berne, people who
have had neglected, abused, or
generally bad childhoods have trouble
in building relationships or having
self-esteem. These people feel
neglected even in their adult life and
their sense of low self-esteem
prevents them from having an honest,
frank, and direct interaction with
anyone.
What these people do is manipulate
other people’s emotions and make
them do what they want when they
could have achieved the same results
just by asking politely. Identifying
these people is the first step to
building a good taskforce. People with
high emotional intelligence, on the
other hand, will always have a strong
elevator speech to describe or
introduce any idea to people.

They always know how to put

important concepts, ideas, or
situations in front of others in a
concise, clear, and objective manner.
This helps them in putting an honest
impression in the minds of their
listeners, while bringing the focus on
the task in hand. At a time when
getting more messages across
consistently is becoming the need of
the hour, having the skill of making
efficient and specific communication
with others is a big advantage.

High Social Intelligence

Another ability that people with good
social intelligence have is to be able
to use language that can express
tough feedback and criticism in a
more palatable manner. Nobody
generally likes to face criticism, as
they consider it to be a judgment on
their efforts. So an employee needs to
be properly conditioned to accept
criticism in a positive manner,
however giving criticism in a positive
manner in itself is an art that requires
great practice and right choice of
words.
How Socially Intelligent Behave
Socially intelligent people have the
ability to know how to monitor their
language in such a manner that it
avoids any conflict in the minds of the
listeners. They can identify words that
might create misunderstanding and
steer clear of these ambiguous words.

They also realize that certain words

tend to intimidate and threaten
people. They avoid the usage of such
words, especially while sharing
feedback on the people’s
performances. They do it through
their skills of empathy and being
open-minded towards people’s
queries. For example, instead of using
“you” statements, they focus more on
using “I” statements.
Sample the following conversations −

Case 1 Team Manager to employee −

"You are always coming late and
giving excuses. Your output has been
very low this month and your
performance is nothing to write home
about. You have not delivered
anything last month and now you face
termination from the company."

Case 2 Team Manager to employee −

"I am concerned about how I am going
to put good numbers on the board this
month, as I haven’t yet received the
productivity that I was expecting. I am
also thinking seriously about the
punctuality issue of our team and how
that is making us lose productivity.
The performance of our team last
year was also not satisfactory and I
am under pressure to trim off those
from the team who are not pulling
their weight.”

Of both the cases, which one do you

think will get the message across and
prevent any negative personal
backlash? Which case would get the
employee start thinking without
feeling bad about his performance
being pointed out to him?

A person with Social Intelligence

knows that using the ‘I’ statements
will show the employee the issues
that the manager is facing and what
he is forced to deal with, and also
makes the person being spoken to
sensitive to the issues. Using neutral
language will send a positive signal of
mutual respect to the listener and a
willingness to acknowledge a different
point of view.

How Socially Intelligent Behave

As you can see, the changes that you
are to bring in your speech are not
vast. It’s just the change of one word
in the previous example that set off a
completely different course of
conversation and interpretation. For
example, many language specialists
say that using the word ‘but’ signifies
a precondition to an action.

In the sentence, “I will help you, but

you have to wait for just a few
minutes.” signifies a precondition that
help will only be provided in case you
are patient. However, substituting the
‘but’ with ‘and’ will make the sentence
sound different. Try it yourself −

I will help you, and you have to wait

for just a few minutes.

People who haven’t acquired clarity in

speech tend to speak in a cluttered,
rambling manner which clearly
suggests that they haven’t yet learnt
how to process and filter their
thoughts. A carefully constructed
conversational strategy requires the
proper usage of words and also the
proper intonation.

Influencing others needs information

to be presented in such a manner that
can be easily processed. It’s also
important to present the right picture.
Before giving a statement, it’s always
advisable to ask yourself − Do you say
what you mean and mean what you
say?

Effect of EQ on Listeners
The human brain can process 500
words in one minute of speech,
however most people have a rate of
speech of only 150 words per minute
(WPM). This means, we have a dead-
air in our speech that occupies the
time of 350 words. It’s interesting to
note that the people who are
considered to be attention-grabbing
and persuasive are those who can
utilize this dead-air time in such a way
that the listener doesn’t get an
opportunity to get distracted by any
other input.

Dropping one shoe is one of the

methods that skillful talkers use to set
up the expectation of what the
listeners are about to hear. This is an
effective method of conditioning
people properly so that they can get
themselves prepared for some news
or information that they otherwise
would have felt shocked in listening. It
involves a rather simple technique of
asking a provocative question in the
beginning of the presentation.

While the listeners are now thinking of

the various possibilities of answers of
that questions, you start discussing
key points that give a clearer picture
on the posed question. These points
must be arranged in a sequential
manner and must lead to the final
picture by dropping knowledge in the
right places for people to be able to
draw a clear idea. The listener who at
this point is thinking about the
question, and is looking for an answer
will automatically be drawn towards
the presentation in his search for an
explanation. This increases attention-
retention and the message gets
clearly absorbed too.

Effect of EQ on Listeners
Telegraphing
Many talented speakers start their
presentation by saying something
interesting and attention-grabbing
like, You won’t believe what happened
yesterday.... This is called
Telegraphing − a foreshadowing
method that gets people in the mental
frame to participate in a conversation.
It gets the listener to think about the
topic and form expectations for the
conversation.
Pyramid Strategy
Another very efficient technique to
use around people who lead teams
and feel the need to follow a structure
is called the Pyramid Strategy. It is
used as a clarification strategy and is
used a lot in media to provide a
structured information to the readers
and listeners. It involves giving a
quick snapshot of the information,
provided by giving fast and detailed
information that builds on the initial
information.

Pyramid Strategy
Examples of these methods are
saying to a group of people, Okay,
guys. Here’s what we are going to do.
And then, join the actions that are
supposed to be taken in parts or
phases that are added in a sequential
manner to the original pitch. This
method works well with big teams,
where the listeners get a mental
comfort in knowing that they don’t
have to analyze things and the
speaker is giving them a workflow in a
specific order.

Helicopter Speech
A new speech technique that is fast
becoming famous is called the
helicopter speech. Proponents of this
speech technique believe that just like
proper intonation of speech sounds
musical to the ears of the listener,
properly intonated thoughts also feel
pleasant to the thinkers.

People who practice helicopter

speech start by providing a positive
picture of the proposal, say an
investment opportunity. Then they will
follow it with a low (the risks of the
investment). They will now give a
positive idea, also called an
‘up’ (statistics on the number of
people who have benefitted from the
investment) closely followed by
another ‘low’ (people who have lost
money) which is again followed by an
up (“risks are a part of investments
and those who take calculated risks
are the ones who win.”).

This gives a balanced, matter-of-fact

and neutral tone to your speech. The
listener will get the impression that
you have given him a fair assessment
and will respect that you have given
him an honest, factual presentation.
Many salespersons and investment
bankers who practice the helicopter
speech have reported a higher
number of positive outcomes in their
presentations and proposals, as
compared to those who are pushy and
try their best to sell the product.

Helicopter Speech
One can also start describing the big
picture and make additions of the
details that the listener wants to hear
and learn about. These mental images
play a very powerful role in influencing
a person’s thoughts. This is why
leading speakers advise against the
usage of cut-and-dry words and bring
in more metaphors in speech that
provide more scope for imagination,
but only when trying to sell an idea or
a concept to the listeners.
Facts must be presented with
concrete data, however while trying to
express a thought or a concept,
allowing more space to the people to
imagine is considered a good idea.
They stimulate the sensory
associations of people and invite him
to use his senses to visualize the
entire scenario.

Instead of using the sentence, He is

an architect, one might introduce
someone by saying, He designs
buildings. By using this sentence
structure, you are not assigning the
person to any specific category,
thereby saving him from answering
any stereotypical questions related to
his profession. In other words, it’s
about respecting the individuality of a
person without having to relegate him
to any background.

Similarly, when someone says, it’s a

stupid idea, he is subconsciously
berating the person who proposed
that idea, irrespective of the fact that
the decision might not really have
been that bright. A much better way of
saying the same thing without hurting
any sentiments and drawing the focus
straight to the idea instead is to say,
That’s a nice input. How about we
discuss these areas that might not
work here? This statement is not only
thanking the person because he took
the proactive initiative to contribute to
the discussion, but also drawing his
attention towards the areas of
improvement in his plan so that he
can work upon it. A person addressed
in such a manner will feel involved in
the process and also work out the
errors or faults in his idea, instead of
taking it personally and stop being a
contributing employee.

There is no plan that cannot be

improved upon, and sometimes it
needs more than one point of view to
understand the ways a plan can be
worked upon to accommodate all
interests. It’s always advisable to be
more collaborative that competitive
when planning a strategy in a time-
bound situation, as improving upon an
idea is much better than bringing
wholly different ideas to the table.

Empathy as a Managerial Tool

Empathy is defined as “a state of
positive feeling between two people,
leading to one person visualizing the
problems of the other person as his
own, and offering advice or help
accordingly.” Building strong and
lasting relationships come with
practicing the act of empathizing with
people and understanding their
problems. Gaining the personal trust
and maintaining relationships should
go beyond the need of practical
benefits, and be thought of as a part
of life. A good manager doesn’t see
his team-members as assets and
numbers. He relates to them as
friends and genuinely loves to listen
to their problems.

An empathetic manager also

discourages excessive approval-
seeking in the form of flattery, verbal
jabs, patronizing behavior,
sycophancy, game-playing, breaking
promises and being indiscreet. He
would also check the passive-
aggressive attitude of people who get
fun out of inducing guilt in others
about mistreating them and making
them feel bad by criticizing their
ideas. There are some who love giving
unwanted, and insincere, advice that
most often boomerangs back on the
ones who follow it.

Empathy as a Managerial Tool

When you empathize with others, you
would know that killing other people’s
ideas even before giving it a serious
thought by uttering laconic sentences
like, “It won’t work here.” “We tried it
before.” “It costs too much.” is
especially toxic and very harmful in a
business environment. Instead of that,
using statements like, “May I ask a
question?” “Before we make our final
decision, let’s review our options”, will
make people more receptive listeners
and better contributors.

Managers need to remind themselves

that the employees they are working
with were selected after evaluating
their aptitude towards the job. In
many cases, the manager himself
would have been actively involved in
the selection process. This means
that they have the talent that the job
needs to be done. However, it’s in the
way of their managing and
understanding the needs of people
that help in getting better productivity
out of them.

Empathy is a long-term investment,

and needs a lot of time to master. The
first thing is that empathizing with
others should come natural to people,
instead of it being an episodic
charming behavior on one day, and
completely different behavior the
other day. An empathetic person
would have the same affability
towards people all the time and that
comes from nurturing a genuine
affection towards people and what
concerns them, instead of being
selfishly preoccupied with their own
needs and priorities.

Getting into a comfortable working

relationship with someone is all about
understanding what they are, what
their needs are, and how they view
certain things. It’s also about knowing
their priorities and how they are
dedicated towards meeting them.
Social Intelligence teaches us to view
people as pieces of jigsaw puzzle that
don’t give a clear picture just by
themselves, if you put all of them in
the same place. To make them look
like a whole, the puzzle pieces need to
be fit in their right places, so that the
entire picture can be seen.

Social Intelligence - Organizations

In some organizations, the only focus
is on getting the work done within the
deadlines mentioned. There is no
arrangement to have people share
ideas together and there’s more
importance on putting numbers on the
board, as compared to encouraging
employees to get connected to the
organization. This absence of
communication with people often
throws some people out from the
team of their own, so before anything
can be done about it, the entire
workforce gets divided into some
informal teams where the division is
based on factors that are ideological
and behavioral, as opposed to
assignments and job responsibilities.

These situations are aggravated

further if the organization is being
managed by people who don’t want
any attention to trace back to them.
This safe-playing results in a
complete meltdown of any creative
thinking and interactive approaches.
Many organizations have reported it in
their annual performance reviews that
some people get accustomed to the
easy life and want things to run their
way, as opposed to challenging new
boundaries.
When people get too comfortable in
their roles of managers, they stop
having creative ideas and put on a
what’s in it for me? attitude that is
triggered by the senior management’s
utter failure in understanding or
empathizing with their workforce. This
results in procrastination,
detachment, discouragement, and
frustration among employees across
the board.

Social Intelligence in Organizations

When it comes to practicing Social
Intelligence, the first focus is always
on the employees. They are the
driving force and the soul of the
company. The organizations that
realize this fact believe in having
frequent conversations with their
employees and knowing what lives
they are leading. With the business
world being as diverse as it is today,
there is high demand and short supply
of talent. In cases like these, the last
thing any organization would want is
to lose out on talent just because of
situations that could have been easily
avoided had someone listened at the
right time.

Teams that focus together, perform

better. This is the basis of a
successful organization. The motto
for every company is to get people to
think of a common goal, and then
provide complete freedom to each of
them to explore the ways in which
they can reach that goal in different
ways. Under the right guidance and
supervision, this method will not only
tap the optimum talent of every team
member, but also give him the feeling
of acceptance and respect within the
organization.

At Dell, employees work in a team of

two when they receive, manufacture,
and pack an order for delivery to a
customer. This unique teaming
technique, added to the profit sharing
incentive, encourages them to be
productive as a team. Performances
are updated on monitors on the
factory floor on an hourly basis so
that each team can gauge its
performance, and check if it meets
the company's goals.

Conclusion
Social Intelligence is not an innate
quality. It’s not something people are
either born with, or are not, in fact
there have been many people who
were born socially awkward but then
went on to become prolific speakers
and actors. This proves that you don’t
have to be blessed to become a
socially intelligent person. All you
have to do is practice the right things
and keep applying them at the right
time.

In today’s world, it’s extremely

important that people realize the
importance of effective
communication, which is very
different from just communication.
Communication is the transfer of
information and ideas, but effective
communication is the transfer of
ideas in such a manner that it
influences and impresses upon the
listeners.

We would all love to be a persuasive

speakers and a great negotiators. All
it takes is an interest in meeting new
people and being genuinely interested
in knowing things about them. We
hope that after reading this tutorial,
you have received a clear idea on how
to be that speaker that everyone
wants to listen to. Remember, all it
takes is a bit of practice.