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1_ _N~ ective Review

••
Directions: Underline where the writer shows how the character feels. '~

Do not tell the reader ... Show the reader!

Joey was afraid. There was a storm.
---
The lights went out.
The lights suddenly went out. In the darkness, the wind and rain
grew louder and seemed closer... Joey sat still, his heart beating fast.
It made a 'thump, thump, thump' noise in his chest.

Stuart Mead, 'A Knock at the Door'

Bill was frightened_. He thought It seemed a shadow had fallen over him. But there was no shadow.
~ eone was behind him. #

His heart had given a great jump up into his throat and was choking
I
f
him. Then his blood slowly chilled and he felt the sweat of his shirt
cold against_his flesh.

I Jack London, 'All Gold Canyon'

Directions: Rewrite the descriptions below by 'showing' the reader what is happening. Appeal to the senses
and focus on the physical body's response to the emotion. Focus on the face, the eyes, the mouth, the hair, the
skin, the heart, the blood, the pulse, the sweat, the breath and the tears, etc. Show, don't tel11

*Write 3-5 sentences

)

1. I was in the waiting room~ I was nervous.

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e1 n -f-wo / r /
2 _1 was next in line for the water slide. I was excited. _

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Directions: Underline where the writer shows how the cha¥er els.
ii./ f- ~
- ~Jf;lJ:_t1Ve Review

Do not tell the reader ... Show the reader! - /

Joey was afraid. There was a storm.
The lights went out.
The lights suddenly went out. In the darkness, the wind and rain
grew louder and seemed closer...Joey sat still, his heart beating fast.
It made a 'thump, thump, thump' noise in his chest.
I ,
. .I
Stuart Mead, 'kKnock at the Door'

Bill was frightened. He thought It seemed a shadow had fallen over him. But there was no shadow.
someone was behind him. His heart had given a great jump up into his throat and was choking
him. Then his blood slowly chilled and he felt the sweat of his shirt
\

cold against his flesh.

Jack London, 'All Gold Canyon'

Directions: Rewrite the descriptions below by 'showing' the reader what is happening. Appeal to the senses
and focus on the physical body's respon~e to the emotion. Fbcus on the face, the eyes, the mouth, the hair, the
skin, the heart, the blood, the pulse, the sweat, the breath and the tears, etc. Show, don't tell!

*Write 3-5 sentences

1. I was in the waiting room. I was nervous.·

. - . t\

2. 1was next in line for the water slide. I was excited.

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