Wengun Jhuy was born in China but she grew up in one of the most important and rich city in

Italy, Milan, surrounded by Italian friends. Although she lived with her aunt, she went to the
Italian public school, going out with Italian guys and girls, eating pizza, pasta and even
hamburger with them. Especially at university she totally shared her life with Italians without
feeling as a foreigner! The cultural system ( cadre de reference) related to the typical way of
living she referred to, mainly consisted in the occidental one: guys and girls leave their
parents’ place to attend the university, the go out together, they usually study at university
until they are 24 years old (or more!), they find a job and then one day the meet someone
with whom they fall in love and they get married.

Men and women have the same duties and same rights, both can also live alone without never
getting married; as a matter of fact, someone who gets married at 20years old is an exception!
Even though she looked physically Chinese she totally shared the Italian values, she felt to be
Italian, and she lived in this way since she had to move to Rome at her parent's place, forced
to quit university.

Once in Rome, the cultural context she faced was rather different than the one she used to
refer to: it was the traditional Chinese system of values. The traditional Chinese system is a
culture that has evolved for thousands and thousands of years and contains a strong
enchantment with history; for these reasons, people of the west part of the world, find both
traditional and modern Chinese life full of mystery as it can be difficult to understand. The
same has been for Jin as she grew up in an Occidental system of values.

In this new system in which she was forced to live, family life has always been extremely
important to Chinese culture as Chinese use to live in large family units and, even when they
expatriate and live in smaller units, family still remains a major issue. As a matter of fact,
relationships within families are very important as well as extremely formal as certain formal
rules need to be respected by both counterparts. Family honour has also very much
emphasized as members of every family are expected to know their right place in the society.
It means that also younger generations (as in the case of Jin) need to give the family name a
good reputation as they represent the family.

To this effect, older members of the family, especially parents, expected their children to
show unquestioning obedience, even (and above all) for marriages as they concern both
families. Weddings are still usually arranged by parents as they concern the whole family and
not only the future husband/wife; the majority of Chinese marriages are usually decided when
the children are only infants.

Another important issue to be taken into account is the Chinese dressing-style: an outstanding
characteristic of traditional Chinese clothing is not only an external expression of elegance,
but also an internal symbolism. Each and every “piece” of traditional clothing communicates
a vitality of its own. This combination of external form with internal symbolism is self-
evident in every occasion and although the way of life now is much modernized, especially
for expatriates, traditional values of family importance and reputation still is felt by all
members. As Jin arrived in Rome, she barely accepted the above mentioned cadre de
reference: the intensive way we kept in touch almost each day and also her deep and
continuous interest in my life at university demonstrated her disease.

Throughout our exchange and the questions she continuously asked me, she wanted to be
involved in that cultural system, trying to know as much as she could. She barely accepted
the new context she was experiencing and thus she also refused to talk about that. As a matter
of fact, her first reaction was to put all her efforts not to be taken away from her previous life
and all the values she used to refer to when she was in Milan. Her decision not to answer my
questions on her “new-traditional” Chinese life and also her silence, were the evident proofs
of this reaction.

However, during the six months she lived in the cultural system of her parents (the Chinese
one) her previous (Italian) identity as well as her values have made her feelings as a
foreigner: she needed to feel and to be considered as a member of that group. Her first month
was rather difficult as she felt different and she also perceived this difference by looking at
the others’ behaviours. However she did not want to be excluded by her cousins, her relatives
and her new friends, she barely liked the idea to feel as a foreigner and thus she put all her
efforts trying to seem no longer a stranger but a member of the community, one of them,
someone who shared the same values and principles. The way the others saw her became
very important to her in the specific context (Tap, 1986). She started wearing the traditional
Chinese dresses, going to the Buddhist temple and accepting to be called again Wengun.

The process whereby she wanted to become a perfect Chinese also highly influenced her
decision to marry the guy her parents introduced to her. Also the fact that, she wanted us to
call her Wengun by using her real name can be interpreted as a sign of her desire to be
considered a member of the Chinese community. As in Markus and Kitayama (1991) in the
Japanese context (as well as in the other oriental communities like the Chinese) the social
role of the individual in the society is considered to be relevant. One of the most important
aspects determining the personal satisfaction is the capacity of the individual to be in
harmony with the others and the social context in which someone lives.

Even the definition itself of one’ s own identity is conceived as interdependent with the
others meaning that it is highly influenced by the social context. The others, in this case,
Wengun’s parents, friends, cousins, neighbours etc, played a relevant role in defining her
social identity. Thus, the role of the others in defining her social identity as well as the
context surrounding her (the Chinese community in Rome as well as the Chinese village
where she was to get married) should be considered two key-dimensions.

Although during the dinner we had in Milan she acted as a perfect Chinese, she did not
realized how much she has been influenced during her stay in Rome, she seemed to be
perfectly comfortable with the Chinese lifestyle and with her Chinese boyfriend. However,
there is a precise moment in which she realized her identity had been menaced: the wedding
ceremony in China. When she saw the young Chinese girl, she immediately realized she was
living exactly the same situation. An in-dept conflict arisen, her identity, her selfhood, the
way she was, had been fragmented (in the sense of fragmentation du moi); a conflict arise
between the social identity (the role she played in Rome in the Chinese community) and the
personal identity.

At the beginning she felt confused: she was proud of her transformation, her ability to
perfectly fit in the Chinese cultural, but at the same time she was totally angry for having lost
her identity and the control she had on her life. The “exit strategy” implemented has been
drastic and very effective: quitting China. As in Camilleri (1990), the following areas had
been touched in a way of menacing the selfhood: (i) differences within the structure of the
family, (ii) differences related to the sociability, especially in terms of codes, (iii) differences
related to the religious spheres and (iv) differences in representing the cultural change.
Concerning the inter-groups dimensions (Tajfel and Turner, 1986) there is a clear trend
within the group to valorise the members of the group itself, mainly highlighting all their
positive aspects in relation to the other not members. In such a way, the social dimension of a
group is even more stressed and the social identity of each one become very important. As
Wengun arrived in Rome she immediately experienced this feeling as everyone around her
wanted her to play a certain role within their group. During the dinner we had in Milan, the
words she used to valorise what she was doing within the Chinese group are a clear example
of that.

In a certain way, by highlighting the importance of going to the Buddhist temple, being an
“expert” of the tea traditional ceremony and talking about the value of having a Buddha niche
in her apartment, she was under-estimating the other group (us, the Italians) underling our
negative aspects. Also her decision not to sleep in the campus with the other students is
strictly connected to the above mentioned intergroup relations. Moreover, it is possible to
analyse this case on the basis of the Codol scheme of analysis and, in particular, deeply
analyse the four identity’s dimensions to be menaced in this intercultural situation. It is then
possible to apply the four Codol’s components (1981) to this specific case of conflit
identitaire and to the four steps in which it is realized:

(i) she realizes to be different (as she moved to her parents’ place),

(ii) she starts respecting the social and cultural rules of the new Chinese context (mainly
when she goes to the temple, wearing the traditional dress and deciding to marry a Chinese
guy appointed by her parents),

(iii) she does not recognize her anymore (when she is China for her wedding and

(iv) she leaves everything flying to the USA.