Tambe 1

Nikhil Tambe

Nathaniel Hagemaster

ENG 2322

11 October 2019

Review of Literature

Death being a part of life

It is really well said by Moltmann that death is not just the medical fact of someone’s

end, but the death of a person as an event of his or her whole life that should be dealt with. We

can suppress our thoughts about our own death and act as if we are leading a life where we will

not face death. But life and death are not just a biological phenomenon, they are fundamental

experiences that are connected to each other (Moltmann 55-56).

If one is afraid of death, they tend to be less open towards life. A person would withdraw

their interest in life in order to not be overwhelmed by the pain and the sorrow. That results in

holding back, closing up and shutting other people out. This is clearly seen in Collateral Beauty,

where Howard just stops taking a single interest in his life after his daughter, Olivia’s death. He

loses interest up to the extent where even his marriage does not survive her death.

It is true that everyone deals with the death of a loved one differently. But a person’s life

does not stop after a loved one’s death. I cannot comment on how horrible and powerless one

feels when they lose a child. But I have dealt with the death of loved ones. While the journey of

grief was not that of an easy one, my life could not just come to an abrupt stop. I had to learn to

let go and move on and believe that the loved one is in a better place. Hazel portrayed this
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process of moving on from a loved one’s death really well in The Fault in our Stars, when Gus

dies.

Talking about child cancer deaths

In a study conducted with parents who lost a child to cancer, 55% of the mothers and

15% of the fathers became teary eyed during the interview but still continued with it. The

fathers’ interviews were on an average longer than that of the mothers. All of them said that

talking about their grief and their deceased child was helpful (Barrera, et al. 503). This would

lead to believe that while fathers do not like to talk about their loss as much as mothers do, they

still have a lot to say. In Collateral Beauty, Howard Inlet does not like to talk about his dead

daughter, Olivia. Instead, he does not talk about anything. Talking about his daughter’s death

would have helped him a lot and would have probably saved his marriage, his agency and

basically his life.

Even though studies show that women suffer from depression more than men do, my

belief is that those numbers don’t tell the actual truth. In fact, those studies show more women to

suffer from depression than men, because men are simply not ready to admit it and talk about it.

On the other hand, in The Fault in our Stars, Hazel’s father talks about how life will be after

Hazel passes away and I feel that because he is ready to talk about it, Hazel’s death won’t

negatively affect him as much as Olivia’s death affected Howard.

Spousal-relationships after child’s death

In the same study, about a third of parents felt that their partner had become distant, was

either grieving too much or too little (Barrera, et al. 506). In Collateral Beauty, Howard becomes

distant after his daughter’s death and that becomes a driving wedge between him and his wife,
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Marjorie and they end up in getting a divorce. In The Fault in our Stars, Hazel’s parents support

each other throughout the whole process of Hazel’s deteriorating life. But the difference between

Howard and Hazel’s parents is that Howard’s life after his daughter’s death is shown while in

Hazel’s case, they are shown talking about how it will be after she dies and not how they were

after ger death.

Positive thinking around cancer patients

Barbara Ehrenreich, an American political activist came across extreme positive thinking

when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. People in support groups would say that positive

thinking would make the immune systems stronger and would hence, increase the chances of

recovery (Radlett 186-187). In The Fault in our Stars, Hazel hates the type of positive thinking

that her parents and support groups show because she thinks that doing so is not affecting her

cancer in any way. In fact, according to her, this will just make her death even more painful for

the people around her. But on the other hand, Gus still does everything happily. According to

him, he wants to do everything and be happy before he dies. In Collateral Beauty, Howard Inlet

did not take his daughter’s death in a positive manner. He didn’t see it as an end to her suffering

and her being in a better place.

The authors accurately say that cancer is a sign that there are uncertainties in modern

medicine and because of these uncertainties, that belief that positive thinking or the right attitude

will help cure cancer is appealing as it provides a sense of control over something, that in reality,

is not controllable. Because of this belief, positive thinking has become kind of a cultural

expectation and social norm for cancer patients (Ruthig, et al. 1244). One could say that the main

reason that relatives, doctors, and sometimes patients themselves, support this positive thinking,
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is because they do not want to deal with the worst-case scenarios which could be emotionally

really difficult to think about and actual deal with.

Suppression of negative thoughts and emotions has proven to actually increase the

accessibility to thoughts of feeling inadequate and can harm, instead of benefit, the patient’s

health. Plus, failure to recover from cancer will result in blaming that patient for not trying hard

enough with the positive thinking (Ruthig, et al. 1245-1246). At this point, does it not seem more

sensible to actually talk about their cancer with the patient himself/herself? This will help the

patient as well as the relatives deal with the concept of death better and also eventually, deal with

their death.

While Barbara Ehrenreich disagrees with positive thinking, and so do Ruthig, Holfeld,

and Hanson, I think it actually might help. Positive thinking would have helped Howard see that

Olivia (his daughter) was not suffering any more. In the end, Gus’ happy, go-lucky personality

helped Hazel deal with his death more easily and with happiness. While Gus didn’t die in the

same happy state that he was always in, his being happy during his remission days had a positive

effect on the people around him. Gus had the fear of fading away into oblivion; of being

forgotten after he died. While it cannot be said for sure, it can be argued that his personality

certainly helped people in remembering him after he passed.

Handling cancer deaths

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross designed the five stages of grief for death. They were denial,

anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. In a book written by two hospice nurses, they have

talked about trying to understand and participate fully in the events of drying, families and
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friends can gain comfort as well as knowledge about what that experience of dying is like. This

will help them in feeling at peace after that friend or relative passes away (Hazarika 115).

In Collateral Beauty, Howard was at a junction where he was going through three of the

five stages of grief at the same time. He went through denial, anger, depression at the same time.

Because of this, he was never able to go on to the final stage of acceptance. People try to move

on through the five stages too quickly and then end up not accepting properly that the person is

dead and is not coming back. And that is where I think Hazel handled Gus’ approaching death

better than Howard dealt with Olivia’s. So, in the end she was able to still live the remainder of

her life without being stuck in the stages of grief.

Conclusion

Boyraz, Horne, and Waits found that people who perceived death as a natural part of life

reported higher levels of well-being and meaning in life. This seems to point towards the

direction that people’s attitude towards death affects their judgement and well-being.

Additionally, having a positive attitude towards death will also help in the grieving process

(Boyraz, et al. 2). That can be seen in how Hazel deals with Gus’ death in The Fault in our Stars.

Positive thinking would actually help dying people deal with that concept of their own

death in an easy manner. Plus, it will also help the people around that person to cope with the

idea that the person is going to die. Ali, Osmany, Khan, and Mishra said that the ways in which

people cope with cancer may have a profound influence on their immediate and long-term

psychological, social, and physical health (Ali, et al. 682). If Howard in Collateral Beauty had

dealt with Olivia’s death like Hazel did with Gus’ in The Fault in our Stars, his social,

professional and home life would not have been so negatively affected.
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WORKS CITED

Ali, Mir Shahid, et al. “Fear of Death, Depression and Coping among Cancer Patients.” Indian

Journal of Health and Wellbeing, vol. 5, no. 6, 2014, pp. 681-686.

Barrera, Maru, et al. “Early Parental Adjustment and Bereavement After Childhood Cancer

Death.” Death Studies, vol. 33, no. 6, 12 June 2009, pp. 497-520.,

doi:10.1080/07481180902901153.

Boyraz, Guler, et al. “Accepting Death as Part of Life: Meaning in Life as a Means for Dealing

With Loss Among Bereaved Individuals.” Death Studies, vol. 39, no. 1, Jan. 2015, pp. 1-

11.

Hazarika, Mythili. “The Aftermath of Life: Dying and Death.” Dysphrenia, vol. 3, no. 2, 2012,

pp. 112-118. EBSCOHost,

http://web.a.ebscohost.com.proxy.indianatech.edu/ehost/detail/detail?vid=2&sid=2d3d5a

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sessmgr01&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZSZzY29wZT1zaXRl#db=aph&AN=779

35432.

Moltmann, Jurgen. “On Grief and Consolation in Modern Society.” International

Congregational Journal, vol. 15, no. 1, 2016, pp. 55–66. EBSCOHost,

http://web.b.ebscohost.com.proxy.indianatech.edu/ehost/detail/detail?vid=10&sid=7624e

a9f-d940-42f6-b6ee-0d72c300c543@pdc-v-

sessmgr02&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZSZzY29wZT1zaXRl#AN=119266023&

db=aph.
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Radlett, Marty. “Book Review: Barbara Ehrenreich, Smile or Die: How Positive Thinking

Fooled America & the World.” Existential Analysis: Journal of the Society for Existential

Analysis, vol. 22, no. 1, Jan. 2011, pp.186-190. doi:10.1177/1363459311407798.

Ruthig, Joelle C., et al. “The Role of Positive Thinking in Social Perceptions of Cancer

Outcomes.” Psychology & Health, vol. 27, no. 10, Oct. 2012, pp. 1244–1258.,

doi:10.1080/08870446.2012.666549.