Elisabeth Libermann: Narrative

Letter (Final Draft).pdf

by Elisabeth Libermann

Submission date: 16-Sep-2019 11:12PM (UTC-0700)

Submission ID: 1174301788
File name: Narrative_Letter_Final_Draft_.pdf (63.12K)
Word count: 1177
Character count: 5028
 Cap. Error

comma

Parallel

WC

comma comma

Punctuation

C/S
Cap. Error

Run-on

Punctuation
 Clarify

Clarify

Clarify

3
Good details
Elisabeth Libermann: Narrative Letter (Final Draft).pdf
ORIGINALITY REPORT

1 %
SIMILARITY INDEX
1%
INTERNET SOURCES
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PUBLICATIONS
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STUDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
brendabirchgallaher.blogspot.com
Internet Source 1%

Exclude quotes Off Exclude matches Off

Exclude bibliography Off
Elisabeth Libermann: Narrative Letter (Final Draft).pdf
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

91
Elisabeth--Excellent start to this semester's writing.
Your letter offers some sound advice! Continue to work
on specificity in your openings and add as many
concrete details as possible. Allow more time for
careful editing.

/100
PAGE 1

QM Cap. Error
Capitalization

Text Comment. comma

Comment 1 | SLO #4

Strong opening. Continue to clarify exact focus. What problem with literacy did you struggle with.

QM Parallel | SLO #3:

parallel

QM WC | SLO #3:
Word choice error:
Sometimes choosing the correct word to express exactly what you have to say is very difficult to do.
Word choice errors can be the result of not paying attention to the word or trying too hard to come up
with a fancier word when a simple one is appropriate. A thesaurus can be a handy tool when you're
trying to find a word that's similar to, but more accurate than, the one you're looking up. However, it
can often introduce more problems if you use a word thinking it has exactly the same meaning.
Additional Comment

Aren't you speaking directly to a freshman? Not just someone--you

Text Comment. comma

Text Comment. comma

 QM Punctuation
reflect on punctuation

QM C/S | SLO #3:

Comma splice:
A sentence must have both a subject and a main verb in order to be complete, but it cannot have
more than one subject or main verb. A comma splice is a variety of run-on sentence that occurs
when two complete sentences, each with its own subject and verb, are joined mistakenly by a
comma. There are generally three methods of correcting this problem: 1) Replace the comma with a
stronger mark of punctuation such as a period or semicolon, 2) use a coordinating conjunction
("and," "but," "or," "nor") to join the two constructions, or 3) make one of the two sentences a
dependent construction by linking it to the other with a subordinating conjunction ("if," "when," "so
that," "although," "because") or relative pronoun ("that," "which," "who," "whom," "whose").

QM Cap. Error | SLO #3:

Capitalization

QM Run-on | SLO #3:

Run-on sentence:
The sentence contains two or more independent clauses. Separate the clauses with a period or
semicolon.
Additional Comment

Multiple sentences shoved together here. Break this up and more carefully punctuate.

QM Punctuation
reflect on punctuation
Additional Comment

missing commas

PAGE 2

QM Clarify | SLO #3:

clarify wording or idea
Additional Comment

What does "this" mean here?

QM Clarify | SLO #2:

clarify wording or idea
Additional Comment

What epiphany? Be specific

Comment 2 | SLO #4

Good details. Try to add some ore--what was a text that you read?
 QM Clarify | SLO #3:
clarify wording or idea
Additional Comment

Such as? Offer specifics.

Comment 3 | SLO #4

Good work. Here you begin to discuss the resolution. Rather than just summarize add details. Tell us
about how you tried this practice with a specific text and how that worked out

PAGE 3

Text Comment. Good details

PAGE 4
RUBRIC: NARRATIVE WRITINGACOPY

SLO #1 Advanced
Understand and apply key rhetorical concepts to written assignments. These concepts include assessment of
the writer's role, purpose for writing, consideration of audience and the influence of context and culture in
rhetorical situations.

ABSENT OR BELOW Lacks awareness of audience and purpose. Narrative is missing a central plot and fails to
BASIC connect story to advice on literacy.

DEVELOPING Shows some awareness of audience and purpose by telling a story and offering advice.
However, issue and main idea are unfocussed and narrative is not cohesive. Story fails to
make its point through the use of descriptive language and sensory details that connect
with reader.

PROFICIENT Demonstrates sufficient awareness of audience and purpose by telling a clear story to
support central idea. Story is told with specific descriptions and suitable language choices,
but sensory details are minimal, and the story lacks tension to draw the reader in.

ADVANCED Shows sophisticated awareness of audience and purpose. Uses personal narrative to
support purpose. Uses the elements of narrative to hold reader’s attention and persuade.

SLO #2: Advanced

Use critical thinking skills to analyze, synthesize, and evaluate.

ABSENT OR BELOW Narrative fails to reflect deeply upon problems in literacy or how to correct those
BASIC problems. No reflection is shown on personal experience.

DEVELOPING Narrative begins to reflect personal experience but backs away from deep consideration
of literacy issues.

PROFICIENT Narrative includes reflection upon experience and connection to advice offered reader but
lacks originality.

ADVANCED Narrative includes deep critical thinking about writer’s past experience. These
observations present original insight and stimulates reader’s interest.

SLO #3: Proficient

Take part in all aspects of the writing process. Final paper shows evidence of revision, editing, and proofreading.

ABSENT OR BELOW Paper has missed repeated workshops, demonstrates limited revision and editing.
BASIC Spelling, syntax, word choice, or punctuation errors impede readability.

DEVELOPING Paper has participated in workshops, but revision and editing are limited. Spelling, syntax,
diction, or punctuation errors often impede readability or otherwise distract from meaning.

PROFICIENT Paper demonstrates full awareness of the writing process, although revision remains
superficial. Editing and proofreading are thorough so that spelling, syntax, word choice,
and punctuation errors are few and do not distract from meaning.
ADVANCED Paper demonstrates full awareness of the writing process, including deep holistic revision.
Editing and proofreading skills are strong as evident in writing is clear, engaging, and free
of errors.

SLO #4 Proficient
Conform to the genre conventions of different writing modes while also applying a personal approach/voice to
create original writing.

ABSENT OR BELOW Elements of narrative of missing. Story lacks plot. Organization is unclear, and no
BASIC controlling statement is present. No concern for style is evident.

DEVELOPING Story includes some elements of narrative, but some need further development. Plot lacks
tension or conflict and organization is scattered. A weak controlling statement appears.
Little concern for style is evident.

PROFICIENT Narrative includes clear description of setting, detailed characterizations, and a well
organized plot. Plot may lack tension and controlling statement may need further
reflection. Style is consistent with audience and purpose, and voice demonstrates some
originality.

ADVANCED Narrative presents a clear engaging story, with vividly detailed descriptions, setting, and
characters. Plot is engaging and developed fully. Writing demonstrates original style and
outstanding control of language.