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THE RATIONAL
MALE
The Rational Male -
Positive Masculinity
by Rollo Tomassi
RECENT POSTS
Little Big Head
The New Polyandry
State of the Manosphere
At the end of September last year I gave two talks at the 10th annual 21 2018
Convention in Orlando, Florida. This probably isn’t news to any of my regular
Red Pill 101 – Ep. 6: The
readers as it was the only in-person appearance I did last year. My first talk was a
“Rules”
familiar one – Hypergamy; Micro to Macro – and was an updated version of the
talk I delivered at the Man in Demand Conference in 2015. I’m happy to announce Male Authority – Provision-
that the video of this dissertation is almost ready to go live on the 21 University ing vs. Duty
site. I should also mention that this video marks the first time I’ve put my real
face out in the wild so be gentle.
Before this video is made public I wanted to address some of the more common
(and often deliberate) misconceptions about Hypergamy I read floating around
https://therationalmale.com/2018/01/15/hypergamy-the-misconceptions/ 1/35
12/22/2018 Hypergamy – The Misconceptions | The Rational Male
Twitter, more than a few Red Pill forums and the blogs of Purple Pill ‘life coaches’
who need to dismiss Hypergamy as a ‘thing’ in order to keep their clientele mired
in Blue Pill Disney dreams coming true. Some of these are honest mistakes, and
some are just the opinions of guys who only see one side of the Hypergamous
equation. A lot of critics think Hypergamy is all there is to Red Pill awareness, and
while it’s true that women’s sexual strategies extrapolate a great deal into our
social order, there’s a lot more to understanding intersexual dynamics than just
wrapping your head around Hypergamy.
I’ve written about Hypergamy for as long as this blog’s existed (I own the google
search term) and as new readers become initiated in the Red Pill I can’t expect
them to have read every essay describing the ins and outs of Hypergamy. So in the
interests of clearing the air and consolidating all of these misunderstandings for
everyone benefit – and to refute the disingenuous – I’m going to run down the
most common Hypergamous hate I see here.
Hypergamy is a Straightjacket
This is easily the most common misperception I read. Hypergamy is an evolved
social dynamic. That is to say it is the behavioral extension of biological factors;
most notably Ovulatory Shift. I’ll delve into this in the 21 Convention talk, and
I’ve covered this in Your Friend Menstruation, but Hypergamy is a sexual strategy
exclusive to women. It is the behavioral manifestation complementary to women’s
hormonal and biological realities. Hypergamy at its root level is about the most
efficacious, pragmatic, means of women becoming fertile with the best genetic
breeding opportunities, and simultaneously pairing in the long term provisioning
opportunities available to a woman.
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slutty skanks on a constant lookout for the bigger and better deal. Hypergamy in Events
this case takes on a aspect of social conditioning and becomes a part of women’s
personality. Foundations
Game
While it is true that acculturation and learned social practices can be a buffer
Hypergamy
against Hypergamous excesses in women, it doesn’t lessen or dissolve
Hypergamy’s influence in women. Just as men’s sexuality is learned to be reigned Idealizations
in, so too can Hypergamy be learned to be controlled. Needless to say in our post-
Inter-gender Communica-
sexual revolution era Fempowerment has effectively unfettered that buffer for
tion
women. Learning Hypergamous restraint is viewed as some male chauvinistic
repression of women’s sexuality, but the truth is we are expecting women to self- Interviews
police their own Hypergamy (with no real instruction). We hope that women will Iron Rules
effectively select against their Hypergamous best interest in exercising that
control, and today men pay the price for that foolishness. Love
Operative Social Conven-
All women are Hypergamous. Some have learned to curb its excesses, some live in tions
a cultural environment that moderates it for them, but all women are
Parenting
Hypergamous to the same biologically inspired degree. All that changes is the
context in which Hypergamy is expressed in women. Plate Theory
Positive Masculinity
Both men and women are Hypergamous
I covered this fallacy in False Equivalencies, but to recap it briefly, Hypergamy is a Psychology
sexual strategy unique to women. Women have attraction floors for men with Relationship Game
whom they will breed and/or settle into pair bonding with. Women only consider
an equal to, or better than, arrangement with regard to sexual market value of a Romance
man in contrast to (what they perceive as) their own. Men will date and have sex Series
with women who are sometimes 2 to 3 steps below their own SMV. Hypergamy
Sexual Market Value
never seeks its own level; women seek an advantage in the mating game, men
simply want to reproduce. This is what defines each sex’s imperatives. Social Conventions
The Best of The Rational
Men and women are different in various facets. It is the equalist mindset that
Male
presupposes we are the same (or more alike than different) and because of this the
False Equivalency argument is always the go-to response to Hypergamy in women. The Feminine Imperative
The equalist believes that if women are Hypergamous then men, being equals, The Matrix
must also be as well. Really, this is a retort intended to refocus an unflattering
truth about women onto men to even the scales and make men’s pointing out The Red Pill
Hypergamy an equal shame. This false equivalency is also used for many other Uncategorized
unflattering truths unique to women, so don’t be fooled.
Unplugging
Hypergamy is overemphasized in the manosphere
I see this more and more because as women openly embrace Hypergamy in a
public sphere this leads to men becoming more sensitive to their (often ugly) roles
BLOGROLL
in that strategy. There’s a real want to mitigate the importance Hypergamy plays
in men’s lives because most men don’t like the idea of being controlled. Which Aaron Clarey
then goes back to the straightjacket notion. Men accept Hypergamy, but they
refuse to see it’s larger influence on social and political dynamics. I wrote about Alan Roger Currie
this in The Political is Personal. It’s almost impossible not to be accused of being Alpha Game Plan
conspiratorial, but in a feminine-primary, gynocentric social order it is women’s
Appearance of Power
interests that define what is ‘correct’ discourse.
Black Label Logic
We read all the time about how western (millennial) society has become overly PC
Chateau Heartiste
(politically correct), but I would argue that we are overly female correct. When
women are afforded unchecked power their first imperative is controlling men to Dalrock
accommodate the Feminine Imperative. Women’s Hypergamous interests Dean Abbott
https://therationalmale.com/2018/01/15/hypergamy-the-misconceptions/ 3/35
12/22/2018 Hypergamy – The Misconceptions | The Rational Male
influence and dictate legislation and political discourse. It may not be something Donalgraeme
most men want to consider. Most guys in the sphere are only focusing on women
they know personally, but there is a larger social narrative that is inspired by Ed Latimore
women optimizing Hypergamy. Goldmund Unleashed
Hypergamy Doesn't Care
Hypergamy only applies to men with the best social / provisioning status
I’ve seen this one-sided perspective promoted by Dr. Jordan Peterson. The idea is Illimitable Men
that, in women’s natural beneficence, they will only be attracted to the man with
InfoGalactic
the best capacity to provide for her long term security and parental investment.
This idea myopically ignores the Alpha Fucks side of the Hypergamous equation. Krauser
This concept is very complimentary to women and usually guys who limit their Ladder Theory
definition of Hypergamy to the inherent goodness of women also tend to think of
Alpha in terms of men being pro-social, leaders of business and community. This Manosphere Appendix of
is false on many levels, but it’s very virtue-satisfying for men who believe that Acronyms
they’ll eventually be rewarded by women (quality women of course) who will after Masculine Style
time think “nothing’s sexier”. I should also say that this fallacy is very popular
No Ma'am
for Betas in Waiting.
Novaseeker's Veritas Lounge
It’s men who are responsible for Hypergamy
On the Rock
This is a reversal of the origins of Hypergamy, but from a socially constructed
perspective. I see a lot of well meaning Red Pill moralist men trot this out as a Playing the Devil's Advocate
complement to (again) their hope that women might ever find their virtuousness Psychology of Attraction
at all attractive. This fallacy presupposes that men are the real power distributors PodCast
and the nebulous Patriarchy women complain of is something a majority of men
are in someway in control of. It also reverses the origins of male dominance Research of Martie Haselton
hierarchies. It presumes those hierarchies exist separate from the women who Richard Cooper's Video
actually perpetuate them with their own Hypergamy and upward sexual selection. Channel
SoSuave Forum
This appeals to men who’ve bought into the ‘Man Up for the Red Pill’ ideology.
Women are only as Hypergamous as men allow them to be. While there’s some StonePT
truth in that in certain cultural contexts, it is women who are deciding for
The DJ Bible
themselves how Hypergamous they wish to be today, and they’ve got the full force
of the law and social norms to enforce their choices. While I’m all for men The Private Man
establishing a dominant frame that women naturally want from men, I think it’s The Real Christian McQueen
unnecessarily self-defeating to believe that women don’t understand how their
own sexual strategy works and are responsible for it. Yohami
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than they are in a new paradigm based on Red Pill truth rather than Blue Pill false Dalrock
hope – hope that, unfortunately, a lot of Purple Pill coaches are selling.
Dean Abbott
Hypergamy requires trust on the part of women Donalgraeme
No, it really doesn’t. What this premise ignores is the dual nature of Hypergamy,
Ed Latimore
and trust has nothing to do with the sexual urgency a woman feels for a guy who
represents a 2-3 level bump in SMV compared to her own while she’s in the Goldmund Unleashed
proliferative phase of her menstrual cycle. Trust, rapport and comfort are post-
Hypergamy Doesn't Care
orgasm feelings. These are reserved for the Beta Provisioning side of Hypergamy
and ones women usually associate with their luteal phase of menstruation. This is Illimitable Men
why the Betas women trust are the first guys they call to cry to about the guy they InfoGalactic
fucked who had no trust prerequisite. This fallacy is just stupid, but it does
illustrate the Hypergamous process from both sides. Krauser
Ladder Theory
Men should stay ignorant of Hypergamy for their own good
Manosphere Appendix of
This again goes back to the idea that men (usually Blue Pill Beta men) who know
Acronyms
too much about the visceral aspects of Hypergamy will naturally become
despondent and go MGTOW or worse, kill themselves in the thinking that they’ll Masculine Style
never measure up. If you’re at all familiar with my writing you’ll know that I think
No Ma'am
the only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. As I’ve said many times,
the truth will set you free, but it doesn’t make it pretty. It also doesn’t absolve a Novaseeker's Veritas Lounge
man of the responsibility that comes along with that truth. I get that guys are On the Rock
hopeful that they can find a magic formula that’ll get them their dream
girls without much effort. Telling them that’s not gonna work for them makes Playing the Devil's Advocate
them hopeless because they still cling to Blue Pill ideals being resolved with Red Psychology of Attraction
Pill truths. PodCast
Research of Martie Haselton
This is where guys get the notion of ‘leagues‘ and that they don’t qualify for
certain women because they’re out of their league. As I stated earlier a lot of the Richard Cooper's Video
“keep the guys in the dark” notion is really a misguided way of supposedly helping Channel
a guy become something more by keeping him ignorant.
SoSuave Forum
Hypergamy give women an “out” for bad, evil treatment of men StonePT
This is a play on the personal responsibility trope. I covered this in Our Sisters’ The DJ Bible
Keeper. It really comes down to the capacity men believe women have or don’t
have with regard to their personal agency. This returns us to the question of The Private Man
women’s Hypoagency: The Real Christian McQueen
Hypoagency – the idea that certain individuals (e.g. women) lack agency in their own actions.They
Yohami
lack control. They are not actors … rather, they are acted upon. The corollary to that argument
being that they are not responsible for their own actions. Yet the cultural narrative of the omni-
empowered, Strong Independent Woman® is completely at odds with exactly women’s hypoagency with
regard to rape. They are powerful and purposeful when it serves and entirely unaccountable and
THE BOOKS
blameless when it’s not convenient.
The Rational Male
There was a time when the book The Selfish Gene was being bandied around the
manosphere and the concern was men might use the premises of the selfish gene
to absolve them of cheating on their girlfriends or used as an excuse to pursue one
woman after the other. They couldn’t help it, it was written into their DNA. The
same argument is now used by (mainly moralist) men who promote the reverse of
the idea that men are responsible for Hypergamy. Thus, women being acted upon
by a Hypergamy that’s written into their DNA can use it as an excuse for the worst
behavior and ugliest results imaginable to men. The logic then follows that
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women are either active agents and have moral agency or they lack that agency
and need men to provide the self-control women are incapable of.
Personally, I believe its a combination of the two; women do have agency for
which they should be responsible and accountable for, but also, men need to
provide a confident dominant frame under which women want to submit and be ARCHIVES
associated with. It is not men’s fault that women are Hypergamous, but if there is
Select Month
to be a healthy control of it for the best interests of both men and women, men
must understand it and master it. I would say the same of men’s own sexuality and
sexual expression – however, we are already overwhelmingly held accountable for
not mastering it. RECENT
Women aren’t slaves to Hypergamy COMMENTS
This is one more question of women’s agency. Just as hypoagency and the
Pinelero on Little Big
biological element of Hypergamy can be used to socially absolve women of the
Head
responsibilities of it, so too can women’s awareness of their own Hypergamy be
another way to excuse bad behavior. Again, it’s about personal responsibility. I’ve Yollo Comanche on
never stated that women are “slaves” to Hypergamy. I have explored women’s Little Big Head
conscious awareness of their behaviors being influenced by their innate boulderhead on Lit-
Hypergamy. Most women don’t realize they are giving a guy a shit test, it’s part of tle Big Head
their limbic subroutines. Most women don’t consciously plan their girls’ night out
kfg on Little Big
around the proliferative phase of their menstrual cycle. They largely do, but they
Head
don’t realize the coordination. Women aren’t slaves to Hypergamy, but they aren’t
immune to its subconscious influence, and this applies to your “good girl”, your
j on Little Big Head
trad-con “Red Pill” woman and your “Quality Woman”.
Some critics like to overplay this stupid binary to prove that “women are people
too” and Hypergamy isn’t even a thing for them once they’ve settled in with a
great guy like you. Hypergamy is alway in effect for women by order of degree;
marriage is no insulation from the sexual market place, you fool yourself in ever
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12/22/2018 Hypergamy – The Misconceptions | The Rational Male
getting comfortable (or vulnerable). Guys who buy into this fallacy are usually
equalists who believe their Burden of Performance ended when they said “I do”.
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RATIONAL MALE
Now, that said, it’s not all gloom and doom. If you’ve established a strong
dominant frame prior to marriage Hypergamy actually works in your favor. The Enter your email address to
same studies that showed women in unsatisfying LTRs or marriages sought out subscribe
extra-pair sex with more masculine men also showed that women in satisfying
relationships were more sexually proceptive (horny) for the men they were paired Email Address
with when in their prime ovulatory phase.
You pronounce Hyper-gamee wrong, thus you are uneducated and your
information is flawed.
Ok, you got me, disregard everything on this blog then.
Share this:
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Related
21 Convention – The Talks The Best Of The Rational The New Polyandry
January 26, 2018 Male – Year 5 December 10, 2018
In "The Red Pill" September 5, 2016 In "Hypergamy"
In "Game"
Posted in Hypergamy and tagged Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks, beta guy, blue pill,
dread game, feminine imperative, feminized men, gender relations, Hypergamous
nature, hypergamous women, hypergamy, hypergamy doesn't care, manosphere,
Open Hypergamy, Peak Hypergamy, physical attractiveness, rational male,
rational male year one, rationalmale, red pill, relationships, Rollo Tomassi, rollo
tomassi the rational male blog, sexual impulse, sexual market value, Socialized
Hypergamy, the rational male, therationalmale, women on January 15, 2018. 543
Comments
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rugby11
Guest
https://therationalmale.com/2018/01/15/hypergamy-the-misconceptions/ 8/35
12/22/2018 Hypergamy – The Misconceptions | The Rational Male
[Stefan Molyneux falls under the ‘Hypergamy is only about Beta Bucks long
term provisioning / parental investment’ fallacy.]
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2 11 months ago
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0 11 months ago
rugby11
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otxAuHG9hKo
Guest “Ok, you got me, disregard everything on this blog then.”
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0 11 months ago
YouMotorcycle
Rollo, this post, much like your second book, seems to be beating a dead horse to
Guest me. I think you’re at your best when you’re pushing men to be better. When
you’re pointing out flaws and admitting the ones that men can be equally shitty
at, and encouraging us to be accountable and address them. Maybe I’ve just had
too much Rollo? I’ve picked up two of your audio books and two of your (now
marked up) paper backs. Nothing surprises me or upsets me, though at times I
don’t agree with you 100%, I’ve still shared your work with… Read more »
0 11 months ago
ness
I dont understand why guys believe more money and more power means more
Guest alpha. The most ‘alpha’ men are not in the C-suite or a country club; they are
https://therationalmale.com/2018/01/15/hypergamy-the-misconceptions/ 9/35
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more likely to be in prison.
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0 11 months ago
YouMotorcycle
PS I think in this article you rightly pointed out a flaw that men are equally guilty
Guest of. I’ve shared your stuff with both men and women and listened to their
feedback. I think scrutinising both genders highlights a non-bias, fact-based
narrative, and probably makes the red pill easier to swallow for both genders.
Food for thought. Cheers.
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0 11 months ago
rugby11
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMeXTTB56s4
Guest “Keep it up, but keep it fresh.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeISHvoqPNE
Hypergamy is overemphasized in the manosphere
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0 11 months ago
Sigma Frame
Hypergamy is a huge topic. It’s nice to have this concise summary, especially for
Guest beginners on the subject. Thanks, Rollo!
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0 11 months ago
Novaseeker
This is an epic recapitulation post, Rollo! Very well done. Thanks for it.
https://therationalmale.com/2018/01/15/hypergamy-the-misconceptions/ 10/35
12/22/2018 Hypergamy – The Misconceptions | The Rational Male
Guest Loading...
0 11 months ago
T-Prop
Considering evolutionary biology, Rollo’s is the only definition that makes sense.
Guest From that perspective, it could be no other way.
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0 11 months ago
rugby11
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0 11 months ago
TheGabz
Hey Rollo. I’ve been reading your blog for at least four years now, and I’ve read
Guest (and listened) to all your books more than once. I’m in my late twenties, live with
my mother in a major city in Australia, and am about halfway through what is
eight years of university. I know that you have discussed how a man can better
his situation with respect to women and hypergamy, but have you ever thought
about writing a post that could advise a younger man on how to make the right
choices, and avoid making mistakes, as he gets older?… Read more »
0 11 months ago
T-Prop
https://therationalmale.com/2018/01/15/hypergamy-the-misconceptions/ 11/35
12/22/2018 Hypergamy – The Misconceptions | The Rational Male
Concept illuminates and ought not produce anxieties if the mental point of origin
is locked.
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0 11 months ago
dwellerman
Jesus H. Christ, you’ve had some good images lately Rollo, but that
Guest woman/mannequin’s melted head is a great image for ‘off the hook’ hypergamy
and hitting the wall… love it.
:)
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0 11 months ago
palmasailor
0 11 months ago
palmasailor
“You pronounce Hyper-gamee wrong, thus you are uneducated and your
Guest information is flawed.”
It’s pedantic nit picking trolled out by idiots who can’t grasp how to challenge
you on the substance of the debate.
Find some superficial ‘fault’ with you and therefore nothing you say can have any
validity.
Hilariously some culprits make typos while calling you out on a typo.
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0 11 months ago
Olderog
The Dunedin Longitudinal Study gives fascinating hard data on what shapes us as
Guest people. The Alpha/Beta binary talked about here is a bit simplistic; there are
actually five distinct personality types:
https://theforeveryears.wordpress.com/2016/06/30/dunedin-study-findings-the-
importance-of-identifying-personality-types-at-a-young-age-by-kirsteen-mclay-
knopp/ Crucially for all people, self-control and discipline is by far the biggest
predictor of success in adult life. It’s that simple. This is not speculation, it’s hard
https://therationalmale.com/2018/01/15/hypergamy-the-misconceptions/ 12/35
12/22/2018 Hypergamy – The Misconceptions | The Rational Male
data measured across 1000 individuals over 45 years. Worth knowing about. Both
men and women have a feral nature, that unconstrained is socially catastrophic,
and in that sense I’m completely on board with the feminine imperative clearly
escalating out of control.… Read more »
0 11 months ago
j
@TheGabz “I know that you recommend waiting until I am at least thirty before
Guest settling down” ya but that’s assuming you actually know the type of girl you want
(vs what you think you want) by then. And the only way to find that out, is by
fucking a lot of girls. YaReally: “When I was a hermit virgin I thought I knew
exactly what I wanted (my dream girl was just some shy submissive quiet friendly
asian 6/10 tomboy chick), but I didn’t even really know MYSELF back then (I was
still a stifled AFC, I hadn’t even SEEN… Read more »
0 11 months ago
Sun Wukong
0 11 months ago
Incubus_Rising
https://krisgageblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/12/the-sexiest-thing-you-do-as-a-
dude/
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0 11 months ago
Mineter
You can’t red pill a woman. She is already that way. She “gets” it. She is brutally
aware of her SMV. Any seemingly incongruous behaviour is her attempt to avoid
mental injury to herself, and anything she says that is seemingly inconsistent is
an attempt to deflect the truth.
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0 11 months ago
Jay Fink
@ness Criminals being alpha is what I believe is the driving force behind our
Guest recent soft on crime trend. The death penalty has nearly been eliminated. The
real reason this has happened is a lot of women have the hots for death row
inmates. Women think of them as “real men” and it is important to them that
killers stay alive in the hopes that someday they are released and available on the
sexual market. To use a less extreme example there is currently a very hard push
for “prison reform” which would release drug oriented criminals on to the… Read
more »
0 11 months ago
Jafyk
@ Gabz Most of the answers you are on this blog. Maybe you’re not fully grasping
Guest it. Initially, I didn’t. So I understand. The biggest thing is winning the battles
over yourself. I am in the same boat as you (still trying to make it, even though it
seems hopeless on some days). Think about how not being financially
independent is affecting a whole lot of your life. If it were just about getting laid,
every now and then you get back lucky but what you really want is freedom and a
consistent quality of life. Isn’t it? The simple… Read more »
0 11 months ago
palmasailor
@Olderog
Guest
“Crucially for all people, self-control and discipline is by far the biggest predictor
of success in adult life”
Not true. There is another indicator but I’m not going to start that mud flinging
again.
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0 11 months ago
Incubus_Rising
@ Olderog: “Girls who hike, climb, sail or any pursuit which demands physical
Guest exertion, risk to life and limb, and demands personal commitment is a great
filter.” No, it is just a buffer. I know a HB5 who was into extreme fitness and
outdoor activities married to a 6 foot 4 ripped guy who was into MMA. The
marriage lasted only 18 months. She turned 35, dumped him for a 5 foot 7 incel
looking rich beta. There is no control over Hypergamy in these times. A woman
can jump from an alpha cock to a beta cock just as… Read more »
0 11 months ago
https://therationalmale.com/2018/01/15/hypergamy-the-misconceptions/ 14/35
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Blaximus@ Rollo, thank you for this post and it’s about time.
Hypergamy seems to scare the living shit out of men
when there’s really no reason at all to harbor that fear. Imo/ime,
Guest hypergamy is a good thing once the mechanics are well understood. It’s
responsible for my having options like banging the CEO of my company’s
wife, even though he’s a multi billionaire that jet sets All over the planet.
Guys tend to think hypergamy guarantees their failure. That’s like saying
airbags in your car guarantee a serious accident..
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0 11 months ago
lh
0 11 months ago
SJB
“Hypergamy requires trust on the part of women” — this one was new to me and
Guest after reading the reference I’d have to agree: it is a stupid fallacy.
re: the article’s artwork — that’s leaving your girl a messy puddle.
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0 11 months ago
M Simon
Some misconceptions came with that though. She hopped to domesticate her
alpha. Not even knowing that such domestication would eliminate the attraction.
I only met one woman ever who understood the nature of her attraction. And she
was (lucky for me) my first GF.
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0 11 months ago
Sentient
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I’m gonna doubt that seriously. Largely because as you note earlier: hypergamy is less
a specific thing in a woman’s brain and more an emergent behavior as a result of
biology, social reality, upbringing, and so on”.
Hypergamy seems to scare the living shit out of men when there’s really no reason at
all to harbor that fear.
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0 11 months ago
IAS
@Rollo:
Guest Hypergamy is only defined as “marrying upward” – semantics… Just semantics.
Surely no one is seriously…
Wait, Hyper-gamee… Oh no, the FI got you… On the phonetics!
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0 11 months ago
M Simon
lh
Guest January 16, 2018 at 6:52 am
“Better man” ? That is easy. The one she is more attracted to “at the time.”
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0 11 months ago
rugby11
“In my experience one of the best ways to find women who have been properly
Guest educated is to seek out women who’ve become accustomed to hardship. Physical,
personal discomfort and effort.”
http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.2364549.1442515779!/img/httpIma
ge/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_750/remains18n-9-web.jpg “The biggest
thing is winning the battles over yourself. I am in the same boat as you (still
trying to make it, even though it seems hopeless on some days).”
http://www.sscnet.ucla.edu/polisci/faculty/pateman/Self-Ownership.pdf “After
watching lots of Jordan Peterson and especially his “Maps of Meaning” theory I
got another idea to explain much of this. Peterson say we humans need goals and
values to strive for, to grow from the… Read more »
0 11 months ago
walawala
Understanding hypergamy helped me bang more girls and ditch ones who started
Guest to display signs of being ready to tree-branch. By dumping them or ghosting
them first I was able to increase my value and dampen the impact of hypergamy.
Women only ditch guys they either have no use for or aren’t attracted to or both.
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If you short-circuit that by leaving first—bingo you increase your value and the
impact of leaving you for a better prospect diminishes in her mind. I’ve done this
a few times in the last 2 years. The power of ghosting a girl who either… Read
more »
0 11 months ago
M Simon
lh
Guest January 16, 2018 at 6:52 am
The LTR often expresses the same thing in a much more terse fashion. “Betas are
no fun” i.e. no challenge.
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0 11 months ago
rugby11
“I only met one woman ever who understood the nature of her attraction. And
Guest she was (lucky for me) my first GF.”
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0 11 months ago
palmasailor
@walawala
Guest
Dumping a girl is a huge DHV. It never happens to them.
It’s also incredibly good for your frame and self esteem.
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0 11 months ago
lh
For me the point is how much this can explain. I can understand male
Guest adventurers, what drives them, what they enjoy. Now if I understand for a female
it might not be about the South Pole, but about men, I can get a better idea why
they like such strange things.
http://cdn1.bigcommerce.com/server700/3hjero/product_images/uploaded_image
s/shackleton-ad.jpg
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0 11 months ago
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M Simon
Jay Fink
Guest January 16, 2018 at 4:36 am
It was a truly sad day when all the alcohol oriented criminals were released from
prison. /sarc
It is not the drugs. It is the criminality. And anything can be made a source of
that. By law. Legislatures love making criminals. It is, in fact, their main job.
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0 11 months ago
rugby11
“It’s also incredibly good for your frame and self esteem.”
Guest https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ0nmxq9qnU
“I can understand male adventurers, what drives them, what they enjoy. Now if I
understand for a female it might not be about the South Pole, but about men, I
can get a better idea why they like such strange things.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRamtqFByWc
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0 11 months ago
M Simon
rugby11
Guest January 16, 2018 at 7:28 am
She was spinning plates. I was one of them. She ultimately went with a divinity
student who convinced her to give up her slutty ways. Go figure.
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0 11 months ago
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M Simonlh
January 16, 2018 at 6:52 am
Further:
Guest
I met an Alpha woman once. Her favorite sport was letting other women have a
go at her mate. All the effort they wanted to put in (sex included). Then she
would go after her man until all he wanted was her. The other girls never had a
real chance. No mate guarding (in the usual sense) involved.
A wonder to watch.
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0 11 months ago
M Simon
M Simon
Guest January 16, 2018 at 7:35 am
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0 11 months ago
marquisdestade
While not caring about purple/blue pill moralists, I understand their resistance.
Guest Being 49 yrs old, having a feminist mother and being raised with two sisters, this
immersion in a feminine environment does leave imprint. I had a natural
resistance to this environment, always wanting to be a boy’s boy then a man’s
man but the forces and the casual misdirections at play are enormous. So when
confronted with female hypergamy (my wife leaving me for basically naught) and
being directed to the Rational Male’s blog by a firiend, it makes for a heady and
confusing experience. It’s been 18 months… Read more »
0 11 months ago
boulderhead
Great post Rollo, Knowing that if every man read this for comprehensive soul
Guest searching, your comments section would likely wither and die away. These are
the three points that jumped off the page at me. “While it is true that
acculturation and learned social practices can be a buffer against Hypergamous
excesses in women, it doesn’t lessen or dissolve Hypergamy’s influence in
women. Just as men’s sexuality is learned to be reigned in, so too can Hypergamy
be learned to be controlled. Needless to say in our post-sexual revolution era
Fempowerment has effectively unfettered that buffer for women. Learning
Hypergamous… Read more »
0 11 months ago
rugby11
A wonder to watch.
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Guest
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0 11 months ago
rugby11
“I suffered bad from this leagues belief as a young man, inspite of having been
Guest seduced numerous times by “higher status women” and seeing “mismatches” all
around on a daily basis. I held onto this NAWALT belief, in search of the unicorn
until I settled.” How did you get passed it? “I believed this one to the point of
thinking I had locked her down when in fact the reverse was true. She had locked
down my genes and provisioning,while her hypergamous nature was barely under
control on the surface, just enough to be convincing most of the time.
Welcome… Read more »
0 11 months ago
Sentient
“So when confronted with female hypergamy (my wife leaving me for basically
Guest naught) “
Marquisdestade
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0 11 months ago
boulderhead
“How did you get passed it?” While reading here over and over AWALT and
Guest watching the constant playout of blue pill beta male game, reading all three of
Rollos books and coming to accept the underlying dynamics at work. I now
believe “Leagues” as they pertain to social sexual hierarchy are merely the
byproducts of varying learned games, that help women climb the ladder while
keeping men fooled into being stuck in place on their rung and strangely enough
grateful for that position enough to hang on with white knuckles. These leagues
are contrived by blue pill men,learned as game… Read more »
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0 11 months ago
Stan
@rollo For people who don’t believe in the ubiquity of hypergamy -this- is the
Guest clincher. Woman demands frame after a hookup. If I could re-title this “Modern
Love” NYT article it would be “Man Up, Chad!”
http://archive.is/aPtzK
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0 11 months ago
Burner Prime
0 11 months ago
Blaximus
” better “. Yeah, it’s kinda subjective, but it’s your responsibility to figure out
Guest what’s” better ” in your own life, and With any wives or gf’s. I have a good friend
that I’ve tried unsuccessfully to unplug for a few years. His wife is also a good
friend that I’ve known since she was in her late teens. Even now in her mid 30’s,
she’s a real looker. One of the most naturally beautiful women I know. The couple
has been married for about 12 years or so, and have settled into the usual routine
of kids, bills and… Read more »
0 11 months ago
Blaximus
Re ” game ” up above- game has nothing to do with suits and watches at all. I’d
Guest cut my dick off before I’d pay 800 ( or more ) for a fuxking watch for any reason.
Sorry to tell ya, Game always wins. Hands down. Just make sure you define it
correctly and understand it fully.
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0 11 months ago
Blaximus
https://therationalmale.com/2018/01/15/hypergamy-the-misconceptions/ 21/35
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Guest
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0 11 months ago
scribblerg
@Walala and Palma – Yup. When a woman acts up, you first have to determine if
Guest it’s just a fitness/shit test or not. Tip: Agree and escalate or just ignore, either
works. Then, if in a real relationship, you have to slow down and consider
whether this is a cry for comfort. I’ve learned the hard way that women need
comfort in turns with the ‘stick’. All bitter and no sweet dominance will not work.
Assuming neither of these is going on, then its hypergamy. My standard pitch
goes as follows: – I don’t do drama or fighting. – It’s… Read more »
0 11 months ago
Anonymous Reader
0 11 months ago
scribblerg
“If a woman says she was assaulted we should believe her.” – aziz ansari 2017
Guest
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0 11 months ago
Olderog
@Sun Wukong and Incubus Rising. Absolutely all humans are subject to their
Guest evolved biological nature. I referenced the now rather famous Dunedin Study as
essential proof of this point. (Incidentally this is a unique longitudinal cohort
study that has tracked just over 1000 people born in 1972, and has followed them
at three year intervals ever since. And with a better than 95% retention rate, the
results have been widely recognised as a unique insight into human nature.) So
when they state that self-control is the predictor of adult success, this is not
some feel good speculation … they’ve measured… Read more »
0 11 months ago
Seraph
Long time no comment… Initial thing I just got to put out there is how the
Guest woman who married the ISIS agent only got two years in prison. This is a terrible
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indictment of our general (but suicidal) blasé attitude toward people who declare
war on their own goddamn country, putting us all at grave risk, but there is a
certainly good helping of double standard and white knighting here as well. I
could be wrong, but seems to me a male FBI agent who went rogue, committing
treason, all for some terrorist tail would NOT be walking about after… Read more
»
0 11 months ago
Seraph
@YouMotorcycle “Rollo, this post, much like your second book, seems to be
Guest beating a dead horse to me… But hypergamy, oh we get it…” No, I don’t everyone
does, certainly not to the point needed. I think the point of Rollo’s post that BP
and FI conditioning are pervasive and persuasive, and there are sorts of ways in
can be misinterpreted or misunderstood. And there are different levels of
“getting it.” You can understand the basic concept of Hypergamy, but REALLY
accepting it’s true implications and clearing out all vestiges of the old way of
thinking can be difficult. And… Read more »
0 11 months ago
Rollo Tomassi
No, I don’t everyone does, certainly not to the point needed. I think the point of
Author Rollo’s post that BP and FI conditioning are pervasive and persuasive, and there
are sorts of ways in can be misinterpreted or misunderstood There will always be
deliberate misinformation proffered by guys who make a living off of other men’s
Blue Pill conditioned insecurities. This demands refutation for the greater good
of men. It might seem remedial for guys who are already Red Pill aware, but it is
necessary to address this shit from time to time. “You’re just re-covering old shit
Rollo, blah… Read more »
0 11 months ago
palmasailor
@scribbler
Guest
If you let your HB9 go into the right way she’ll come back
The Black dragon has this and I’ve followed his rules
You say : you’re a great girl, you deserve to be happy. Good luck I hope you find
what you want
Within 7 days she’ll pull some beta from her orbit and be fuckinh him but within
4 months she’ll return to you as he’ll bore her shitless
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0 11 months ago
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0 11 months ago
scribblerg
@Seraph – But of course, MGTOW is not what you described, I wonder why you
Guest would misrepresent it? It’s not temporary for young men – many older guys have
gone MGTOW, I’ve met a lot of them in the manosphere. It’s not frame building
either, it’s BUFFER building. MGTOW’s simply enhance their sense of
victimhood. While retreating may be a good idea initially after taking the Red
Pill, as it does rock one’s world, but that doesn’t imply going MGTOW. MGTOW is
making a virtue of weakness MGTOW is embracing defeat MGTOW is anti-
masculine. It’s putting a bullet in the… Read more »
0 11 months ago
palmasailor
@olderog
Guest
“In essence it demands we sacrifice our immediate gratification for a larger more
valuable future reward”
Err no.
Most of humanity value a bird in the hand higher than one in the bush
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0 11 months ago
palmasailor
@seraph
Guest
She’s not crazy, but 5 minutes of alpha is worth at least 5 years of beta.
I’ve seen it play out many times with women I’ve employed
He kicks the shit out of her, kicks her downstairs pregnant and the baby dies
Next thing you know he’s out and back in her bed
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0 11 months ago
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scribblerg
@Palma – Spot on. Already did that with her twice – that’s how she ended up
moving in. She’s 30, an HB9 from the neck down, without makeup…She’s hit the
Guest wall and is flipping out. She had her red pill moment 3 years ago. She knows her
own hypergamy, it’s so wild to watch her wrestle with it. And ya, she’ll be back.
Or not…either way is okay with me. I have 1 plate and several other projects
afoot. The best part? She’s very submissive when with me. She told me, “Just take
your dick out when you want me… Read more »
0 11 months ago
farmlegend
Rollo, I cosign 99% of your commentary here, and it’s another fine job. Well
Guest done, sir. As to that other 1%, I’m trying to wrap my brain around this remark:
“all women are hypergamous to the same biologically inspired degree”. It seems
to me, while it’s reasonable to assert that all women are hypergamous, that the
strength of the hypergamous instinct is likely variable amongst women. No
different in how something like baseline levels of libido(or other
biological/behavioral traits) are variable throughout the female population. On
another note – I just discovered my recent-vintage version of MSWord does not
recognize… Read more »
0 11 months ago
cheupez
Hyper-gameeeee! There. I am educated. I don’t like the line where we say men
Guest are not hypergamous…(or is it hyperandrous???bwahahahaha…I think the term
hypergamy should apply to the behaviour in men and then hyperandry for the
parallel in women; sue me). But all the same; for the just a little pop in pop out,
just about any girl will do (not really ANY, but well, MANY will do). It is when one
is talking about long term where it is obvious that a man tends to want to punch
a few points above his weight in terms of looks. Not… Read more »
0 11 months ago
Olderog
@palmasailor The problem with linear measures like nPV and IRR is they assume
Guest a unit of gain today is in the same category as a potential unit of gain tomorrow.
Compare the pleasure of a casual fuck today with the pleasure of grandchildren in
30 years time. The first has a high certainty and may well be a lot of fun, but of
little enduring value after just a few days have passed. The latter outcome is a
great deal less certain, but trust me on this, is a profound delight that only gets
better with time. They’re both good… Read more »
0 11 months ago
Jafyk
@ Burner Prime I’m not sure I get your question. I’m not living in the fantasy of
Guest expecting things to go back to how it was in the old days. My advice to The Gabz
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was just how he can get better and not necessarily overcome hypergamy. In
retrospect I look back at a time in my life when I had a degree of success with
women. The irony is that I didn’t know as much as I know now about the red pill.
At the time I thought my life sucked. I underestimated the power of
Independence (having your… Read more »
0 11 months ago
dr zipper
gosh, without all those mean men holding us back, we’ll take over the world
Pinky!
I’m sure being a RP fly on the wall there would be entertaining AND
informative… quality info-tainment for those who can stomach the taste of shit
roused, look at this to get ideas on vetting for private membership for a digital
presence; in this case facebook as identity verification(!!) :: not sure who I am?
please consult this source known for lying and deception to confirm my bona
fides lol
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0 11 months ago
dr zipper
“In times of extremes, extremists win. Their ideology becomes a religion, anyone
who doesn’t puppet their views is seen as an apostate, a heretic or a traitor, and
moderates in the middle are annihilated.”
all for pointing out a lack of due process — the foundation for any hope of justice
and sorting out right from wronged
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0 11 months ago
Seraph
@Scribbler
Guest
“@Seraph – But of course, MGTOW is not what you described, I wonder why you
would misrepresent it?”
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0 11 months ago
Seraph
By the way, Even my more liberal friends are irate at the #MeToo shit and they
Guest are reducing interactions with women to the least amount possible and still
conduct business. One friend says he only conducts business via email with
women he does not know and/or does not trust (a widening pool) unless there is
no other way possible. These friends are all married, BTW. Of course women will
eventually figure and complain they are being shut out and shunned and declare
civil rights violations. My friends credit me with being ahead of the curve on this
shit. Loading...
0 11 months ago
kfg
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0 11 months ago
O.B.I.T.
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0 11 months ago
palmasailor
@olderog “The problem with linear measures like nPV and IRR is they assume a
Guest unit of gain today is in the same category as a potential unit of gain tomorrow.”
Actually they’re not linear. They’re compound and there is an aggressive
variation by discount rate applied to the asset. Plus.. are you really going to
sacrifice a gain you can see and quantify today for something undefined in the
future. Most people thoroughly miscalculate both current value of a future asset
and the future value of a current asset. Never mind the further confusion of a
change of asset class… Read more »
0 11 months ago
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kfg
“Peterson also says (and I agree) women’s dragons are men. ”
Who is the more powerful, the slayer of the dragon, or the”slayer” of the dragon
Guest slayer?
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0 11 months ago
M Simon
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0 11 months ago
walawala
Jimmy can’t figure out why…she explains in a way that now only makes sense
from a Red Pill perspective:
Basically she says “You can’t even have a little fun without losing your mind…it
was a laugh that’s all…”
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0 11 months ago
palmasailor
@kfg
Guest
I’ve not looked at Peterson much
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You can slide into having your opinion manipulated by some ‘anchor’
declarations of ‘fact’ that appear innocuous but dramatically change logical
outcome
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0 11 months ago
Anonymous
Rollo, I agree with you 100% “recovering old shit” NEEDS to be done. I’ve read all
Guest 3 of your books at least twice and have been following you for almost 2 years, and
I STILL find myself pondering about Hypergamy or other topics thereof. The
truth is (from a mental and spiritual perspective), the more we talk about
Hypergamy, the more we talk about RP, the more we talk about the differences in
intersexual dynamics; the better we (MEN) will continue to develop a deeper
understanding. TRM is heavy, complex stuff man! It doesn’t just “click”
immediately, to some folks… Read more »
0 11 months ago
M Simon
Burner Prime
Guest January 16, 2018 at 9:28 am
You don’t ever meet your unicorn. She meets you. She has to have oneitis for you.
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0 11 months ago
M Simon
Mineter
Guest January 16, 2018 at 4:25 am
I think of Red Pilling a woman as teaching her what excites her and getting her to
be comfortable with that. It has its rewards. It is also difficult to do. They really
don’t want to know that your continual interest in other women excites them.
I think Upton Sinclair had a few words on the personal value of unwanted
knowledge.
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0 11 months ago
kfg
https://therationalmale.com/2018/01/15/hypergamy-the-misconceptions/ 29/35
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that his views be based on some sort of observable reality he’s quite good. He is
also a fantastic model of… Read more »
0 11 months ago
palmasailor
@kfg
Guest
Unf. I’m not a young man.. I’ll head to the sun for a few days and look at it in
more detail..
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0 11 months ago
j
https://therationalmale.com/2018/01/15/hypergamy-the-misconceptions/ 30/35
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https://therationalmale.com/2018/01/15/hypergamy-the-misconceptions/ 31/35
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0 11 months ago
M Simon
Rollo Tomassi
Guest January 16, 2018 at 11:11 am
Good education is 99% repetition. I still like reading articles on E=IR. And that is
over 60 years old for me. And of course there are those who haven’t yet got it.
There are still a lot of those.
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0 11 months ago
kfg
But today, a basic undergraduate lecture, done as it used to be done before the
post-modern, cultural Marxist wingnuts stuck their noses into everything,
appears revolutionary to his younger audience.
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0 11 months ago
Burner Prime
@M Simon, I think essentially you’re right. I forget who, whether Rollo or Vox
Guest explained (and I can confirm), at some point women can come to the conclusion
YOU are the the optimized man, and there is no likelihood of them upgrading.
Then they stop their whoring and can form a long-term bond (lifetime?). Their
optimized hypergamy engine tells them they were successful.That is a tough
thing to achieve these days, much tougher than it was for my or Roosh’s parents.
And you can never rest on your laurels. But to sell this idea to men is like saying
you… Read more »
0 11 months ago
kfg
@Burner Prime:
Guest
https://therationalmale.com/2016/11/11/deep-conversion/
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0 11 months ago
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Burner Prime
M Simon
January 16, 2018 at 5:12 pm
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0 11 months ago
William Ward
I read The Rational Male. The red pill is depressing to say the least, but no more
Guest so than the feeling that something was seriously wrong with dating. What you
have to say makes so much sense.
I hope Preventive Medicine is less depressing and has some kind of a solution. I
get the feeling that you don’t see a solution.
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0 11 months ago
M Simon
William Ward
Guest January 16, 2018 at 6:24 pm
Preventive Medicine? On a long enough time line we are all dead. If cancer
doesn’t get you a train wreck will.
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0 11 months ago
Blaximus
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?
Guest v=opbpBEGR9po&w=1280&h=720%5D
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0 11 months ago
Lost Patrol
Jordan Peterson is the man in the arena. He may not synch all the time with what
Guest Rollo explains, but he is producing these videos while working at a UNIVERSITY
in CANADA.
He is a courageous sob.
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0 11 months ago
Blaximus
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0 11 months ago
rugby11
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man
Guest stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit
belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and
sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and
again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does
actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great
devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows
in… Read more »
0 11 months ago
Daniel W
Excellent post Rollo, I couldn’t agree more, When things are viewed through this
Guest lens, nothing in the world surprises me, its been 6 years of me being unplugged
seeing things through this lens, and not a day goes by that I am not in a good
state of mind, with no confusion in my life. Almost everything in life ties into
these sexual dynamics. So many people just refuse to believe. To YouMotorcycle,
you reek of a guy who just can’t quite swallow the red pill. The fact that you are
mentioning aspects of this article as “flaws” really shows… Read more »
0 11 months ago
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