Connection: Lost

Last September 27, 2019, Our teacher in Understanding Self made us watch a movie
entitled, “Disconnect”. The movie has somehow touched me, not physically speaking but it
touched me in ways that I made some connections with it and can relate with some scenarios that
can be seen in the movie. The movie is extremely a juxtaposition level of movie since two or more
things or scenarios happened at a time. And the one where the little boy tried to kill himself out of
the harassment of his schoolmates made through only Social Media and to think that Social Media
has that big of an impact to the society scares me. But going back to the little boy, the absence of
his parents and also his lack of socializing with new people made me ask myself, am I also
disconnected? Do I still need to improve myself as a person? Am I still making the right decisions
for my own good? Or am I doing everything wrong?

Honestly, up until now, I still do not even know the answers to my question. Because
honestly, all I do now is make sure that I do my best at every level of this life, to love well and
always be kind to everyone even when they are not. Through that, I believe that I am doing great
as long as I’m not hurting anyone even if that does not answer my question to life. I can really
relate to that little boy who tried to kill himself. That boy was passionate of what he was doing but
unfortunately people was unappreciative and did not even see that in him, he was so talented and
compassionate and a very kind type of person.

I am not saying that what he experienced was exactly the same to what I did. But, I really
felt the deepness of what he was feeling. Not being able to show off to the world who you really
are, not being able to do what you love in front of a lot of people because you are scared of what
they might say and the reactions that might come and most of all, not being able to be yourself
freely because the world is really not just in favor of you. I even always say that life really is unfair
because out of billions of people, I am one of those people who experiences things like these. But
I constantly remind myself that everything happens for a reason and maybe God chose me to be in
this situation because he knew that I can get through all the obstacles that may come in my life.
But I can not deny the fact that I am still human and I still have feelings, deep feelings. There are
really just days that I feel like giving up, to the point that I am really done with everything, I was
willing to leave everything behind but I always say to myself, why did I even start? What is the
reason of the things I do? And it always narrows down to my main goal. To the achievements I
still want to pursue and goals I still want to proceed to. Because of this reminder, I still keep going.
And also I think of my family – everything they have given me and every sacrifices they made to
get me reach where I am now. They are also of my constant reminders to never give up my goals
in life, to pursue whatever it is that I want to do with my life. I am really blessed to have a family
like them but not that I am complaining but I wish they would talk to me often because I really
believe that communication is the key to everything. To avoid conflicts and in order to understand
each other. Honestly, going back again to the boy who tried to kill himself, we can not blame him
for doing that. First thing’s first, he was only a young kid who felt that he was lonely and only
needed and wanted for someone to appreciate him and actually see his worth and that would at
least make him happy.

He was even contented with a friend he only met in the Social Media, that was the level of
desperation he was in. He trusted him even if he does not even know the actual person behind the
account. He trusted him to the point that he sent that account a really personal picture. He trusted
too easily and he really trusted someone over only a Social Media application, and that was the
problem. In relation to my experiences, I also hate the fact that I trust easily and get fooled because
of it too easily too. I hate how I end up getting hurt for only being kind. I hate how this world
works but I do not even have any other choice but to live it and survive it. And to think that you
are not even doing anything wrong, you were just really being compassionate and people can really
take an advantage out of your kindness to them is pure evil. How can someone be that numb? How
can someone be possibly that heartless?

Exposing a person to the public and using them including their feelings really is a thing
that should not even exist. I really do not know that kid but for what I watched in the movie, the
characteristics that he showed were only: how loner he was in the society, the passion of what
loves to so that he showed and he was a non-active socializer. In that context, we have a very big
difference. Because, I am the type of person that has deep feelings, when I make friends, I do not
just do that to only make friends, I make friends because I want to know them and related to them,
connect with them and really know them. That is one of the traits I have. I get attached too easily
but that does not make anyone a less of a person.

Therefore, the only need to improve whatever it is that needs to improve in order for us to
be unit, one and in order for us to understand more each other. Killing and giving yourself up will
never be an option for me, it is a button no one should ever take because you are only wasting the
life God has blessed us. Life should be respected and valued. But overall, or in generality, the
movie was really great and I can say that it was really successful, and to think that the movie made
me ccry. It was really a good movie that also educates us to different levels of misunderstanding.

ALIBASA, ARA-LYNDA NORWIYA K.

BSN 1-C